Kentucky woman accidentally aborts the second Christ

(LEXINGTON - AP) Doctors at a Lexington hospital were surprised when
a 24-inch tall fetus, covered in blood, came waltzing in through the front doors.

"He was bawling and screaming, and trying to scratch people's eyes out," said
Dr. Patel Patel.

A woman from a trailer park in southern Ohio admitted that the baby was hers.
She had gone to an abortion clinic in Kentucky, only to discover it was too expensive.

"Well, needless to say," she said, "half a bottle of Jack and 500 miligram of codine
later I had myself a do-it-yourselfer abortion."

The baby appeared in Lexington three days later.

That afternoon, the child then addressed what appeared to be his disciples in
the maternity ward. He then jumped out a window.

Said Patel, "It was a really cute scene, until you noticed that fucking coat hanger sticking
out of the kid's right eye."

Witnesses claim he flew skyward. Authorities did not discover any remains
on the sidewalk near the hospital. However, they do plan to check the
mouths of all stray dogs in Lexington for the next week.

Doctors refused to authenticate the claim that the baby had in fact been the Christ.

Said Patel, "I am a Hindu. If it had been a fuckin' Big Mac with a coat hanger
stuck in the side of its head, then, sure, I would have gotten all religious then."