deathisahead

~ Updated As Of ~
October 12th, 2005
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*Journal
*Information

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::+:: The Journal ::+::

**October 12th, 2005 **
        Yeah Yeah, Been awhile once again.  I need to do a lot to this site.  I've been missing out.
Well, Halloween is coming up soon, I want to get some wings as soon as I can , get my industrial...
different things.  Elf/Faery here!  Anyways, things have been going great.  Mark is no longer my
buddeh. :D  <3  So far, we had a lot of great times.  Ren. Fair twice, Folk Fest, Wynnewood, Movies,
Ephrata Fair, York Fair, New Holland Fair...  so much already.  I love how I am treated and we are together.
Amazing.

I don't really have much more to say since I have to go to school.  So, I'll finish upgrading the site
very soon. :)

Until Next Time,
~Kittie~

** July 22nd, 2005 **
        So, the 20th was really fun.  I went and hung out with my new buddeh Mark after work.  It was his birthday.
He turned 26.. Oooooooooooo.. :D lol.  I bought him a rose, and a card.  Just to surprize him.  It worked..
Then went to his car.. where I gave him some insense :D.. No more smokey smelly Lucille. :D
We went and got tickets to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith at 10:20.. ((Note:: I got off work at 8.. we had time to 
kill))  So, after that.. we went to the Sushi restaurant place near the theater... I haven't been in there... ever.
I was all O.O' it was soooo nice in there.  The people were so nice too.  We ordered food.. and Mark was trying 
to teach me how to use chop sticks.. but my middle finger gets in the way.. and I guess the workers were watching me
and ended up getting me the premade chopsticks so I won't hurt myself.. that was embarrassing.
Most of the time I sat there listening to him reading his writings.. he's such an amazing writer and has such
strong feelings and everything.. it was great!  Though.. in the middle of almost all his writings.. someone interrupted him
asking if everything was ok.  LoL.. How rude.. lol.  It was a fun time though.. lots of laughs and sharing food and stuff.
I tried eal I think it was for the first time... tasted like mashed potatoes in bbq sause.  And I had some crap with rice
wrapped in sea weed.. ew.. sea weed . Gross.  lol  Mark had to help me eat my shrimp fried rice.. I couldn't eat it all at all.
Then I had an eggroll too.. I took that stuff home.. :D I had the eggroll last night.. burnt my tongue on the knife I used to cut it.
:S.  Well... anyways.  then we had some Mango Lover.. and wow.. that stuff tastes sooo yummy!  ***adores mangos***
It's lobster, lettece and mango. :D  I won't get into what was embarrassing to Mark that night... lol.  My damage was.. $40.70.
I'm expensive.. LoL.  The tickets only costed $17.. that's nothing I think.  Well, then we went, hung out in the car for a bit and listened
to my music I brought for him to hear.. then, went to see the movie.. I loved the movie yet once again.  First
time I saw it was with Ashley.. :D  I liked it then, I like it now.  We had a fun time.  Basically no one was in the theater.
That was odd... I never was in a theater where no one was at.. LoL.
Wellllllll.. then the movie ended.. and we went outside and hung around Mark's car.  Talked, I was about to 
drive Lucille.. lol.  He actually was going to allow me in the parking lot.. he's Insane!  Then.. he drove me home.. and
he came inside.  We played a fighting game.. he met my father.. LoL.. met my kittie Scarlett.  Then, later in the night, 
we hugged after I gave him directions to get back to the Theater.. and he left.. I went to bed. LoL
That was my big day then.

Yesterday I went to Ryan's.. Things were off.. really off.  He kept getting mad at me, I got mad at him.. made up.. and did it all 
over again.  lol.  We had fun dancing though.. and watching a movie.. I forget the name.. the 13th Precent or something.
That was nice.

Today, I went to the mall.. bought my camera stuff.. AND, I bought myself a digital camera!!!!  Finally!!!!!!!

Well, now I'm off.
Until Next Time,
~Kittie~

** July 19th, 2005 **
        Hey Hey everyone! LoL.  So yeah, for the 4th of July, I spent it with Ryan.. I actually was able to spend the
night for once.. shocking.. O.O'  But it was nice.. brother made food.. and we listened to fireworks.  (Note: 
I spent the night from the 3rd to the 4th) .. later on, I had Ashley spend the night. :) She threw  a firecracker at 
my brothers back by accident.. first one she threw too.  It was great!  She and I have spent so much
time together.  It's great! She's basically on the top 5 list. :D  Heh.  I miss Jade.. but, the other day I saw her!!!
:D :D :D   And I met her Hot Guy.. he looks soo much hotter in person. lol.  Well, I'm going to head off.  Work
on some other parts of the site.  :D

Until Next Time,
                                  ~Kittie~

** June 14th, 2005 **
        Yeah, Long as time again, I know.  Heh.  Well, I've been working a lot.  Getting my money in.  School is over
for now.  Yey.  Next year, I'm a senior.  Next year will also be 3 years for Ryan and I.  My Lovette Evelyn will be
visiting me hopefully sometime soon for the summer! Oh yeah!  I missed out on getting tickets to see Sleater-Kinney,
But I'll try to see them sometime soon if I can.  Tomorrow night I'm going to Shampoo hopefully.  But sadly,
the lovely Miss, Jade cannot go.  :(  Vanessa got me a Kitten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Damn straight.. I have a Kitten!!!!!! But I'll 
have to wait till Friday, or sometime this weekend to get it.  Damn, I can't wait.  
         Hmmm, I stole my brother's friend away from him.  lol.  Not really, but, yeah.  I love meeting 
new people.  Specially when they are adorable and wicked.  
          At the moment, I am now a BLONDE.  That's right.. my hair is blonde.. my father wants me
to keep the blonde hair for senior pictures.. but.... my eye brows are black, so I don't think it'll look right 
at all.  But for him, I'll leave the blonde go.  
          Uhhh, I have a major headache right now, so I'm off.

Until Next Time,
~Kittie~

** April 29th, 2005 **
        I'm soooooo sorry!  LoL.  It's been so long.  I've been working, doing a lot of school stuff.  Things like that.
Yeah, you read right, I have a job.  Not much has been happening besides that.  I just plain need to upgrade this
site.. sooo.. this is the beginning.
           
           Well, Until Next Time,
                      Kittie

** February 14th, 2005 **
        Hey Hey.  Valentine's Day!!!  I was happy with today.  Went over to Ryan's early to wake him up early.  
Which was Great!  :) :)  We talked, and played.. rolled around in his nice clean covers.  He's great!  Then, we went
to school. Which I got mucho gifts.  Little stuff toy zebra that is oh so soft.  A real rose from this one guy ( that freaked me
out).. and a fake velvety rose from this girl named Rose!  LoL.  Some chocolates from everyone.  I got a pez from my
friend Ashley.. and within 3 seconds of having it, I broke it and had a piece fly and hit this girl Missy.  Opps. :S 
How embarrassing.  Made Jade a little card (hand made) and she gave me a big barbie card with a message included :)
I feel special since no one else had a message.  :D  I also gave her the rose that Luis gave me.  :)  I got a card and candy
from Amy :)  And Vanessa.. I gave her a little picture of her character and mine since she hates V-day. :) But I love her.
I wuv all you guys soo much.  But Ryan, Vanessa, and Jade get the most!!!!!!!!  After school, went back to Ryan's. Where
I got picked up early.. AGAIN!  But went to get my job stuff done.. but here.. I'm missing a card that I need. Blah.
Went back to Ryan's and had a Great time.. until 7:30 came around when I was to go home.. I didn't go home till 9:00.. lol.

Well, I'm off for now.
Until Next Time,
Kittie

** January 30th, 2005 **
  Hello All.  :)  Things have been out there lately for me.. parent problems.. things happening in school...
all that good stuff.  I've been depriving myself of all the fun stuff I use to do.. like this.. :D  lol.  
Ok, so, today.. Jade might stop by to hang out with me a bit.. but it snowed.. so not to sure about that.
I went over to Ryan's yesterday.... GREAT times!  :D  I need to get smoothies with Vanessa soon.. taking awhile
though and especially  due to the weather now.  I have a lot of artwork I have to get done for school.. A piece
that I'm working on for Vanessa, scanning some things.. taking care of a few writings.. everything.
   I updated most of this site.. because.. yeah.. that's how I am.. but I still need a few pictures of my friends.
Such as Ashley, Amy, Chris, Rose-Mary, hmmm.. I think that's it.. lol.  Everyone has to love the new picture of 
Mark.. being all ripped and shit.  lol.  
   Well, I'm off to finish up the site.

Until Next Time,
Kittie

** January 2nd, 2005 **

Hello All.  :D  Guess what?  It's 2005 baby!  Happy New Year to everyone.  I am now 17.  Almost
legal. :D  And a lot of stuff has been happening lately.  I spent Christmas Eve with Ryan of course
which was great.  He almost made me cry.  He gave me soo much.  Damn do I love him.  That was basically
Our Christmas Day.  Then we spent Christmas Day together, went to his Nans.. I love them, they treat
me like family already.. all of them.. :D    Then.. the 28th my birthday came around.. and I spent it with 
Jade, Steve, Ashley and Ryan.. Vanessa couldn't show up.. :(  I wish she could've though.. But she and I are
going shooting on Thursday.. :D  But, on my birthday, I spent the night over at Ryan's.  is was the best
birthday next to last year ever.. :D I'm soo glad to have friends and the one I love. :D  Then.. the 30th,
Ashley and I spent the night over at Amy's.. that was great.. :D It was loads of fun.  The 31st, Ashley and I went to 
Steve's New Years Party, which I get to stay out past midnight. :D  Oh yeah.  But a lot of people got drunk.  I stayed
sober. :)  Good me.  Thank you STEVE!! :D :D :D  It was a lot of fun.  Then Ashley spent that night
at my house since she wasn't feeling well from being drunk.

That's how my 2004 ended.. :D  Then, it began by spending the night over at my Lovers house.. I love being
with Ryan. :D

Well.. enough for now,
Until Next Time,
Kittie

** December 6th, 2004 **
      Hello All.  As you can see, I'm still lazy.  The 3rd - the 5th was awesome.  3rd, Jade and Ashley
spent the night here, soo much fun talking and webcaming with my Bennywog.  ^.^ They went gah gah 
over him. ^.^  Then, the 4th was my mother's 48th birthday, Jade's surprize party, Sonja's birthday and Ryan
and I's 2 years and 1 month anniversary thing. :D Sooo much fun.  Jade had no idea about her party, and afterwards Ashley and I went to Ryan's to hang out.. now that was a lot of fun.. and it was a lot of fun and soo nice 
cuddling with Ashley that night.  And of course the 5th I spent time with Ashley till later on before she went to work.  Then
Ryan came over.  Just.. a lot of fun stuff.  I will get a picture of Ashley soon to put up here.. just, it'll take 
awhile since I'm lazy.  This wednesday we have an early dismissal, so Ashley is hanging out with Ryan and I once again.
Then on Saturday I might go to a party with Sonja and her and spend the night over at Sonja's. :D
Thursday I'll probably hang out with Vanessa.. since it's been soooooooo long.   I love her!  Oooo, Jade
bought me a dress for Christmas, I cant' wait to see what it looks like.. I have to get her, Steve, Vanessa, Ashley and a few
others some Christmas presents.  And tomorrow I'm going to call about a job.  Hopefully I can get it.

Well, I'm off for now.
Until Next Time,
Kittie

** November 19th, 2004 **
         I'm such a lazy ass.  Well, a lot is coming up.  Ryan and I already passed our 2 years
mark.. which everyone is surprized about.  Sonja's birthday, my mother's birthday and Ryan and
I's 2 years and 1 month (which isn't a huge deal) is all on December 4th... should be exciting.
Specially since that day is going to be packed with surprizes.  This Saturday I'm hanging out with
Vanessa at a Smoothie Cafe.. lol.. and then later on I'm hanging out with the Lovely Jade.  
Next week is Thanksgiving and my father actually wants me to be home on Wednesday, Thursday,
and Friday.. the days I have off of school.. What an ass. 
Well, I have things to do.
Until Next Time,
Kittie

** October 31st, 2004 **
        Hello All.  Today was to be Halloween.  Isn't really working out that well.  Our Trick-or-Treat
night was on the 29th.  That blows.  But... Homecoming on the 23rd was Great... :D  The best
night ever with my 2 lovely ladies.  And of course.. my "date" AJ.. since we did buy a couple ticket
together.  ^.^  He's awesome.. gotta love that guy (as a brother only for me) LoL.  
           The 4th is only in 4 days.. how nice! :D :D :D  2 year anniversary for Ryan and I.  He is trying
to plan something for us.  Actual dinner and movies type of thing. :D It's going to be great.
           Yesterday I saw The Grudge.. that movie was odd.  Not scary.. just things popping out at you.
I had a great time yesterday.. so .. Thank you: AJ, Jade, Steve.  :D  I was with Emily, Shayne and Kamise..
But only for the movie.. so they don't really count.  
            AJ.. thanks for warning me when we were hanging out in your room.. lol.. That would've
been really sick if you didn't warn me ahead of time.
           Steve.. one day.. your nipple will be mine. :D *evil laugh*
           Jade.. I LOVE YOU!  LoL
        I swear. I was blessed with the bestest friends someone could have.. Even Vanessa.. though
we don't hang out that much anymore.
   Well, got to go and update  more.
Until Next Time,
Kittie

** October 16th, 2004 **
        Hello All.  Sorry it's been so long.  My computer is still messed up... blah.  Well,  Homecoming
Is still happening with Jade and Morgan.  This is going to be fun... AJ has to save me a dance.. lol
The other day, I could've went shooting.. as in real live gun shooting with Vanessa.. but my ass wasn't
home.  Well.. that should be a problem now.  I can only go over to Ryan's 3 days a week.. 
Bullshit really.  But, we'll get through it.  I just have a lot of mind shit to worry about right now.
Not much more to say.. I'm getting a hair straightener today... hopefully I can go over to Ryan's 
tomorrow since I couldn't yesterday or today.. (Fucking cunts of parents)... I want to watch The Day
After Tomorrow over there.   Oooo, Also.. at the end of the month I might be going to Field of Screams 
with Vanessa.. :D  If I have money.  
Well, enough for now.
Until Next Time,
Kittie

** September 18th, 2004 **
        Yeah, I have a fucked up computer now.  Few days I was offline because my computer
wasn't turning on. .. now I have colour problems.  So I might have to be offline for awhile because 
of that.  Well.. 2 years is coming up soon for Ryan and I .. w00t w00t. And some crazy shit has
been happening.  I'll be going to Homecoming with my Lovely Ladies Jade and Morgan.. 
now that's crazy.  Been busy with trying to get a job.. which I applied to 2 recently.. hopefully I'll
get called back.  I need to catch up on my Xanga and on my Deviant Art.. damn.. things been
all over the place.  Vanessa's birthday is soon here.. along with Halloween!  I can't wait till Halloween.
Oh, here.. my father has Diabetes.. and all these other stupid problems.  My mother is all depressed
along with my stupid ass immature brother who can't find a real girlfriend.  Oh well.
           Well, I'm off for now.  
Until Next Time, 
Kittie

** August 14th, 2004 **
     I'm grounded.. blah.  I won't get off from being grounded till the 19th. It sucks.  
But.... It was worth it.  I spent another 3 nights with Ryan.  I mean, it  went from the 4th - 7th..
then I cam home the 8th.. the 9th - 11th I was with Ryan again.  He turned 16 FINALLY.. lol.
The 10th was his birthday.. and we went to Warped Tour!  Oh yeah, kicked ass.. except I passed
out.  Now that sucked.  :S.  But it was all good.  Had a pretty good time listening to some kick ass
bands.. Best ones were The Casualties(spelling), Anti-Flag, Bad Religion, Bouncing Souls, Sugarcult,
Story of the Year and FLOGGING MOLLY! Hell yeah, I finally got to see Flogging fucking Molly!!
It rocked.. I was holding a Bouncing Souls shirt the whole time when they were up and pushing people..
I didn't fall not once, nor dropped the shirt.. and I was dead in the pit!  It was awesome!  Of course
Ryan stayed close to me so he didn't lose me in the crowd.. but we had a great time. 
Since I didn't call that night though.. mother dearest got worried.. and was about to call the cops
on the 11th around 1:00 p.m. when I told her that I would be home that evening.  Blah to her!
     So.. now I'm sitting here.. Working on art and stuff.. taking pictures.  Listening to music. 
As soon as I get off of being grounded.. I'm going to Ryan's right away.. no stopping me.. then
I have to hang out with Jade and Vanessa.. I miss them SOOO much!  My Loves! :D  Then I have
to hang out with Jen since I promised her I would.
     Well, I'm off.
Until Next Time,
Kittie

** August 3rd, 2004 **
    Tomorrow is Ryan and I's 1 year 9 months anniversary.  And I have something to read to him.
It means a lot to me, I just hope it means the same to him.  
      This hole week is going to be soo busy for me.  Here's the schedule:
August 4th - Anniversary
August 6th - Lannon's birthday
August 7th - Ryan's cousin's wedding (I'm going)
August 10th - Ryan's birthday and Warped Tour

That's basically all the busy stuff.  I'm going to be soo tired out.  LoL.  But, fun times. :D
I have to try to figure out what to do for Vanessa's birthday when it comes up... since she means
a lot to me and I want her day to be perfect.  Even though she's only turning 17.. lol.  
         That's it for now.
Until Next Time,
Kittie

** July 30th, 2004 **
     Basically, things are becoming somewhat better.  Last night I had a few hours conversation
with my mother about everything that I feel. . .  
    Ryan and I are doing Great.. just we need more time
and need certain things to leave.  It's amazing, you know? I really see myself with Ryan growing 
old with me as I use to so long ago.  But, it's more strong now then ever before.  I want to marry him
be his wife.  But, I want to right now be his wife.  I want to wake up beside him every morning and fall
asleep in his arms every night.  Ok, I'll shut up.. lol.
       I found out yesterday that my Bubas (my dog) might have to be put down because she might 
have cancer or some kidney problems.. damn, I don't want to be in this house.. too many memories of my
baby.  Then my mother tried to brib me of getting me a kitten after my Bubas dies if I stay home more
often and such.. blah.... she won't even be able to find the one I want.. and I don't want to be in 
this house.  
          I couldn't go to Manheim today with Ryan and Token because of the whole dog situation
along with my father. :S.. that blows.. but hey, I'm spending the night at Ryan's on our anniversary ...
the 4th.. and his birthday is the 10th!  Warped Tour is that day.. it's going to be craziness... 
We are going to try really hard to get tickets.. and go together.  
         Well, I'm off. 
Until Next Time,
Kittie.

** July 13th, 2004 **
    I had a kick ass time this weekend.  Went to Manheim with Ryan.. spent 2 nights at Lannon's
girlfriends house.  We had a lot of fun.. crazy ass people.  We had cops kick us off of 2 properties.
That sucked.. but, all and all.. good time.   This morning I walked to Ryan's house.  All on my own.
LoL.  He was asleep.. so the bastard took forever to wake up.. .I had to go to Nicks house to borrow
the phone and such.  Once I made it back to Ryan's house... he and I fell asleep together.  Me
in his arms and everything.  Tomorrow morning he's coming to my house. W00t W00t!  He should
be VERY proud of me, I'm finally officially listening to Danzig and not just one song from Danzig.  I need
to do more upgrading on this site, but I don't know what else there is to upgrade.  What to add...
Well, I'm off for now.
Until Next Time,
Kittie

** July 7th, 2004 **
        July 4th was kick ass.  Spent the night over at Ryan's since it was our anniversary.  :D Mew!
I need hang out with Jade again.  And tomorrow night I am going to Vanessa's.  Shortly I will be trying
even harder to become a working woman, so I am going to have to go to Vanessa's place with her to get an app. and such.
Ryan might be getting a drum set soon for me to learn how to play and such.. W00t W00t!  I'm going 
to love it!  
          It seemed as that as when I come home and such from camping and getting settled in...
everyone out of the blue wants to call me.  Right when my life is finally.. FINALLY going how I want it.
No more problems, except when Jon gets mad at me.. and basically, all I need is my 2 sexy ladies...
Vanessa and Jade and My Love Ryan.  My life is complete  and perfect.

Well, I'm off for now,
Until Next Time,
Kittie

** June 29th, 2004 **
     Well, I have been having some intresting times.  Sometime this week I am hoping to meet
a new friend.  That should be fun.  And I just got back from my friend Steve's house not long ago
since he is leaving for Florida today. 
      I'm going to add some more new things to this site.. pictures, pages, music.. the whole deal.
So, it's going to be even more kick ass.
That's all for now I guess,
Until Next Time,
Kittie.

** June 25th, 2004 **
    Jade spent the night two nights in a row at my house and then I spent the night over at hers.
We had a lot of fun, great conversations.  I miss having conversations with people... but nomatter
what, she and I always happen to have some really important ones. 
    Tomorrow I am going over to Ryan's house.  We haven't seen eachother since last weekend.
It should be Great, just as all the other times when we are together.  Our anniversary is coming up on
the 4th of July.. oh yeah, sexy sexy.  I might spend the night over at his house.  Just as I did the past
weekend.  It was nice falling asleep in his arms.
     Soon, I really have to hang out with Vanessa.. ^.^  She's great.. I love that woman!
Well, I'm off.
Until Next Time,
Kittie.

** June 23rd, 2004 **
     Well, last night Jade spent the night.  It was great.  We had no sleep because we stayed up all night just talking
basically about everything.  It was great.  Right now she's taking a nap.  ^.^ We took some sexy pictures
odds are they will be placed on a page for strickly us.  ^.^  :D She rocks my socks off.  I always hung out with
Steve and  Vanessa yesterday.  It was wicked.  
      I really want to spend some time with Ryan right now though.  Kind of sucks.  But of course I have 
to live.

Well, I'm off.
Until Next Time,
Kittie

** June 21st, 2004 **
      I am continueing to upgrade the site.  Still working out some flaws, such as with the music.
      Well, I guess you can say things have been going well with me.  Some stuff that is in the bad
always happens, but I must be strong and live my life.  I have my dear friends here for me and 
those who love me dearly enough to change everything for me.  Last night I spent the night over
at Ryan's. Was nice.

Up Coming Events For The Week:
~ Jade spending the night
~ Hanging out with Steve
~ Have to hang out and spend time with Vanessa without a doubt
~ And hang out with Jen for the very first time.

If anyone wants to do anything... let me know.  It's summer so I'm sure there is time for everyone
else to be squeezed in my empty schedule.  Well, enough for now.

Until Next Time,
Kittie

** June 19th, 2004 **
       This is the start of my Death Is Ahead Site's Journal.

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

~"One day you are going to lose everything you have. Nothing will prepare you for that day. Not faith... not religion... nothing. When someone you love dies, you will know emptiness... You will know what it is to be completely and utterly alone. You will never forget and never ever forgive."~

"Little things .... use to mean so much to Shelly. I used to think they were kind of trivial. Believe me... nothing is trivial."

This statement is a reflection of feelings that surface from the small things our significant other probably doesn't even notice, but those "little things" are what makes the sun rise for us everyday. Too many times in love, people don't take the time to cherish the small things... until it's too late.

People once believed that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead. But sometimes, something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the sould can't rest... Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right.

A building gets torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that was true about everything - families, friends, feelings.
But now I know that sometimes, if love proves real, two people who are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart.

I believe there's a place where the restless souls wonder. Burdened by the weight of their own sadness, they cannot enter Heaven... And so they wait, trapped between our world and the next, endlessly searching for a way to rid themselves of their pain --- in hopes that somehow, some day... they will be reunited with the one they love. If two people really love eachother, nothing can keep them apart... Nothing.