| --Can I please have your picture.... Why?.... I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas --id use a pick-up line on you but i can tell your too smart for that --wanna go back to my place eat pizza an fuck *slap* what you dont like pizza --I know somebody who likes you but if I weren't so shy, I'd tell you who --Don't you hate it when someone uses a cheesy pick-up line? --Can I please have your picture.... Why?.... I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas --See my friend over there he\she wants to know if you think I'm hot? --Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after --Can I please have your picture.... Why?.... I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas --If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole? --If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning --How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized? --I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face --Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass! --You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you! --Guy: "Would you like to dance?" Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you."Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants" --Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda? --You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. --Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield? --Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be --Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag --If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in? --I lost my phone number, can I have yours? --I may not be Fred Flinstone but I sure can make your *BEDROCK --Excuse me, do you want to go fuck now, or do I owe you an apology --You've got whitest set of teeth I've ever come across --Customer: What time do you get off? Barmaid: That depends on how good you are! --One way or another I'm going to make love to you tonight. but I'd rather you be there --Should I call you in the morning or should I just roll over --Hi, do you want to have my children (assuming the answer is no), OK then, can we just practice --Thats a nice dress can I talk you out of it --If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold *it* against me --Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us --Irish: "Have you got a little Irish in you?" She: "Uh...no" Irish: "Well, do you want some?" --Hi! My friends call me Creepy --You're ugly but you intrigue me --If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning --She (to passing man): "Excuse me, do you have the time?" He: "Do you have the energy?" --Do you know how to use a whip --I'm in the process of writing a phone-book. May I have your number --(grab target's bottom, and ask) "Is this seat taken?" --Lick your index finger and wipe it on your shirt then hers and say, "How about you and me get out of these wet clothes?" --At the office copy machine: "Reproducing eh?", "Can I help?" --Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to? --Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow? --The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word --I wish you were a screen door..... [Why?] So I can slam you all day long! --You touch her shirt and ask, "Is this cotton?" Wait for response. Then touch down in the crotch area and say, "Oh, this must be felt." --I lost my virginity. Can I have yours --Looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory. --I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free --Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under... --Excuse me, but I think that you are too drunk to drive. Can you recite the alphabet backwards? [Does it] Next, I need for you to bend over and spell "RUN". --Can you lick your nipples? [No.] Can I? --Roses are black, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed? --You've been a bad, bad girl. Go to my room! --im a necropheliac and your dead sexay! --Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; so let's begin. --Stare at her until she says "What!?!") It isn't just gonna suck itself. --Hey baby, I'll fuck you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done --Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it. --hey im making a list of picup lines, im sure you get alot can u help me with it --Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them. Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink. --Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you! --That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too. --There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more? --Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up? --Have you ever played "Spank the brunette"? Want to try? --Excuse me, do you have any Benedryl? No why? Because everytime I look at you I have swelling "down there" --Walk up to a girl and lick two fingers and place them near her crotch. Then place the fingers back in your mouth and say . . . ) I know you! --Are you a virgin? (No.) Prove it! --Excuse me, but you have a "dick for" on your head. [What's a "dick for"?] I'll show you. --Hi, sorry I don't have an opening line but since you have an opening and I have a line. . . --Nice pants, can I test the zipper? --You look like my type: nice hair, beautiful eyes, amazing body, but there is still just one problem: your clothing. (What's wrong with my clothing?) They're still on. --"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now." Put ear to watch. "It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh..." Tap watch a few times. "That's the problem... my watch is an hour fast!" --Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down. --I'll bet you $10 my dick can't fit into your mouth |