| Things to/Not to do! If you are sitting in a room where no one is talking #1:yell "I AM NOT PARANOID" and run out of the room #2: Twitch really fast if no one is looking right at you, don't look at them if they look at you, if they say something act like nothing happened, then twitch again when everyone stops looking at you Public Embarrassment! #1: stare at the ceiling in a mall or something an just stand there, people will probably come an stand with you or ask you what your looking at, do not respond after a time do one of the fallowing -walk away with your head in the same position (stiff neck) -if no one is looking utter obscenity an duck then run -Fall over sideways an drewl -ask for a masauge -all of a sudden look down an look around at people like you don't know where you are then act paranoid an run away -lean to the person next to you an whisper "what are we looking at?" -sit at a bench for this one, if someone asks you what your looking at or to leave go oh sorry i forgot" put on sunglasses an pull out a walking cain then walk away with your head still pointed up #2: introduce 2 people on the street to each other an walk away #3: Talk to inanimate objects then yell at them an ask for a divorce! #4: go up to strangers and ask them how they have been an you haven't seen them in a dogs age #5: get a couple other people to play along have a conversation break off into subjects without transition an if they say something get everyone to be like are you not paying attention or just bored #6: Introduce your imaginary friend at a party then argue with them #7: Name change -introduce yourself to everyone at a party with a different name each time -change your name every time yu talk to someone an get people to play along -change names your friends causes confusion later an you can tell people that you like them thinking the other one likes you (3rd person talking about yourself) #8: put on a fake earring an switch ears when the person is distracted then replace earring with glasses claim nothing has changed if asked #9: Stop talking mid sentence an drewl #10: ask people what sex they are then laugh hysterically when they answer #11: order food through the drive through an ask for it "to go" #12: go back order again an ask for it to stay walk in sit down an eat (works best when the place is empty) Phone fun! #1: Page yourself at work and don't disguise your voice #2: put one of the fallowing messages on your answering machine -hello you have reached the Psychiatric hotline if you are self obsessed press one, if you are co-dependent get someone to press 2 for you, if you are obsessive compulsive press 3 repeatedly, if you have multiple personalities press 4 5 and 6 if you are schizophrenic a little voice will tell you what button to press, if you are depressed push any button it wont matter anyway, if you are paranoid don't press any button we know who you are an we will get you soon -(your name) Pick up, common i know your there dude! dude pick up the phone, fine call me back later! #3: Phone yourself when people come over hang up it will ring then answer an cary on like you talking to someone Office fun #1: put a garbage can on your desk an label it "IN" #2: replace the coffee with decaf then when everyone is over their caffeine kick switch to espresso #3: don't wright any punctuation in your e-mails #4: when people ask you to do something ask if they would like fries with that #5: pronounce 11 as onety one Scare people! #1: run out of the zoo yelling they have escaped, have your friends run after you dragging chains with locks on them #2: have your friend walk down somewhere pull up with masks on grab them pull them in the van an drive away, come back 5 min later an drop them off #3: tell your kids due to the low economy you will have to let one of them go #4: park in a parking lot an aim a hairdryer at cars #5: if someone gets mad at you grab them an say one of the fallowing -your just jealous because the voices don't talk to you! -if i do snap an kill everyone your my first target (works only if you get bugged about the trench coat mafia allot ) -5 years an allot of medication ago the voices in my head would have told me to do nasty things to you #6: talk to "Billy" and ask people things in the form of "billy wants to know if_____" |