| -5 years and allot of medication ago the little voices in my head would have told me to do nasty things to you -Your just jealous because the voices don't talk to you -of all the things iv lost i miss my sanity the most -we are the people our parents warned us about -I used to have multiple personalities...we are all better now -"your insane!"......"so?" -"your insane" "damn rights and i should be feared and respected for it!" -"you care" "i do not your a liar" -wave if your an asshole -life is never certain death always is -i have been called worse things by better people -im gonna smack you around like a redheaded step child at a family reunion -its dangerous and there is a good chance we'll get killed! hehe lets do it! -if violence is not the answer then what is? -why wait 5 or 6 minutes for caffeine to kick in orally when i can directly inject it into my vains -i was put on this earth just to destroy it -if you want safe fun family viewing DON'T WATCH US! -im on more anti depressants then you are -blood sex and violence -i have a good reason to be paranoid YOUR ALL OUT TO GET ME! -i don't suffer from insanity I ENJOY EVERY SECOND OF IT! -my hole life iv had to look past my problems because i was raised by people with problems -it doesn't matter if your tired you can sleep when your dead -if less is more think of how much more more would be! -i am the problem with your solution -Normal people want to be accepted, abnormal people....want to be accepted... shut up -Be normal, and the crowd will accept you. Be deranged, and they will make you their leader -I never fail. I succeed at finding what doesn't work. -Love means never having to bail yourself out of the county lock-up. -Always apologize first--it annoys the crap out of people. -hey wake up, i want you to tell me why the car is parked at such an odd angle........on the porch........across the seat -What? it only happened once! -die now live later! -"see i told you it could fit into a shoebox!" "my car!" crying -"If it hurts so much why do u laugh when i do it" -thanks father for this one! --i carry a torch for kids who carry candles! --if you can't enjoy yourself enjoy someone else! --welcome to the land of denial but don't worry its all an illusion your not really here! --"why do you never come outside of your room?" "there is an outside?" --RUN CHRISTIAN RUN YOUR GOD CAN'T SAVE YOU NOW! --"dad you have a drinking problem" "but i stopped drinking" "we know that's the problem" --I learn something new about myself every day. Why do you think I have this perpetually horrified look on my face? --I brake for animals,..if they're big enough to dent my car. --"You said you erased that!" "Erased, ran off thousands of copies... it's such a fine line" --"look he spelled college with a C how cute" "its only later the 6 Q's hit you!" --"do the voices in our head bother you?" "only when i don't hear them" --i say destroy the cosmos ask questions later --stop overstating your underachievement bitch! yes britney this means you! --Tempers are the only things that don't go away when you lose them --Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings --I went to watch Pavarotti once. He doesn't like it when you join in --People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what's wrong with it =Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? --The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense --I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974 --This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force --I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with. --Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' " --If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either --I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet --It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an airplane, and everyone joins in --Work is the curse of the drinking classes --A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing --I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes --I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks --My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic --I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me are furious. recently she has stopped wearing skirts --I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving --When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her --It's not enough to succeed. Others must fail --You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on --Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol --I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example --Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs --If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late --It is said that Cloths make the man and that naked people have little or no sway in the order of society, i disagree id follow a nakid woman anywhere --What's on your mind, if you'll forgive the overstatement --My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping --Be thankful your boss is an idiot if he were smarter you wouldn't have a job --Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer. --On the brightside one day you'll die an when you go to hell it will be a step up from this place! --I don't care what you think of me cuz it can't be half as bad as what i think of you --Children in backseats don't cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children --I don't have a license to kill, I only have a learners permit --When you see me smile, its too late --People like you are the reason people like me need medication --Excuse me one of the voices are reminding me to take my medication --every morning 4 out of 5 of the voices ell me to go back to bed --She who laughs last thinks slowest --Deathbolt say best way to kill contaminated mosquito is with cannon --I ran into my X-gf the other day then i threw it in reverse an ran over the bitch again --When a woman gasps for air an screams your name it means you didn't hold down the pillow down long enoph --There is a light at the end of every tunnel, mine happened to be attached to a train --I'm an angel, what do you mean my halo is melting? --keep honking im reloading --Parents are to their children's music as dogs are to fire hydrants --my therapist says i have a god complex, that's ridiculous I AM GOD! --between 2 people sex is a beautiful thing, between 5 its fantastic! --I don't care to belong to a club that would accept me as a member --I can resist everything....except temptation --under achievement: Its usually the tallest tree in the forest that is to be struck by lightning first --Failure: doing the job right the first time gets the job done, doing it wrong an redoing it 50 times gives you job security --Pessimism: There is a silver lining in every cloud, unfortunately millions of people are struck down trying to see it --The best way to tell how drunk you are is by how you react to being on fire oh look pritty flames hehehehe --We are a generation of men raised by woman, AND WE STILL DONT UNDERSTAND THEM! --Sex is not the answer, it's the question...The answer is YES --Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, the softer the bed the better the screw" --Sex is evil, evil is a sin, sin is forgiven, so lets begin --Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else --I think I could fall madly in bed with you --Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question --Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss --The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them --Support wild life - vote for an orgy --I'm not smiling because your joke was funny... I'm smiling because I know you'll be dead someday --Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat --If you can't be a good example, be a terrible warning --My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch --Time is never wasted when your wasted all the time --Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young girl -- in a jar on my desk --Masturbation is like procrastination, in the end your just fucking yourself --During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel --If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it --Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else --If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?" --Life may have a meaning� but I�ve forgotten it (sara's quote) --It's been a rough day. I got up this morning...put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom --If a quiz is quizzical, is a test testical? --The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead --I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio --If at first you don't suceed, destroy all evidence you tried --I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the sand box; the cat kept covering me up --I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have had nothing to play with --welcome to the land of denial, but dont worry your not really here! --you were never so interesting to me until i knew it couldn't be --"boredome does interesting things to the mind" "are you bored" "no im just really fuckin weird" --the power of the sword shalt not yield too the promise of the pen --Reasoning with christians is like nailing jello to tree's |