16th January 2003

Greetings, Happy New Year etc. I know that there have not been a great deal of updates in this section as of late, but I am right in the middle of 3 major writing projects. PLUS Death and Pleasure is soon to be going really official...keep your eyes peeled! There are a whole new set of stories coming this way soon..so lots to get excited about. A big thanks to everyone who's been writing in..there have been quite a few of you.. so thanks for the undying support. More as it happens..xxx

25th Nov 2002

Ah country life! Isn't that what they say? Yes who exactly said that and why? Surely it was originally said with a hint of sarcasm corroding the person's vocal cords and if not then why not? Surely they had not visited any country town I have been to? Are all country towns the same? I am beginning to believe so, well especially Australian rural towns where the most important topic of conversation is what the weather is doing and moaning about the lack of money, rain, sun and water.

However no matter how bad this years crops are the farmers and their families will still head off on their anual holidays and buy their new cars.I'm afraid I do not have much sympathy for farm folk and to quote Nev 'They knew the risks.' See in a town like this one which scrapes by on wheat and sheep anybody that has not been here at least three generations is an outsider and always will be.

Farmer's wives walk around 'stuck up' thinking that their shit doesn't stink. That is if they shit at all? Who knows, heaven forbid that they do anything that human!Now after six months of being away, I return to the awe and recognition of people that well to put it bluntly would not give me the time of day this time last year. Now I am every bodys best friend. I'm worth knowing...don't you know who I am?I go down the main street and people stop to talk to me or should I say ask me a million questions. Its not that I mind the questions, living in a rural town you have to accept that every body wants to know everything about everyone. These towns are built on gossip and if they can't find out the truth well they will make it up.

Ah country life! Yes stop and smell that fresh air..hmm smells like bullshit to me..or should I say sheep shit?

22nd Nov 2002

Amusement parks...Now here in Western Australia we are restricted to one amusement park- and I guess for all of you out there that live in the U.S or Europe the amusement park I am talking about is probably like a town park to you.

But for a young country I don't think it is too bad. There is plenty to do and some good rides and at least with it being fairly new the rides are new also. So you won't find yourself being slung around in the air in a recycled sardine tin.

Amusement parks bring out all types of people. You see them of every shape and size and unfortunately most of them like flaunting their shapes and sizes.Yesterday I saw women in bikinis that I did not think you could buy a large enough bikini for and have come to the conclusion that these women fashioned them themselves out of old floral tablecloths from really large tables. One particular 'abomination' that caught my eye was a rather height challenged woman of some ethnic origin wearing incredibly tight skimpy white shorts that really left no crevice of buldge to the imagination.

OK for men they might find these type of shorts appealing on a woman. But surely not on a woman with an arse the size of a small car and that when she walks it looks like she has two hippos fighting in her shorts. This woman was accompanied by a porkish looking ethnic man who had to have his hands on her every second. He was like some paranoid leech that thought if he took his hand off her for even one second that some other guy might come along and steal her away.

Mind you, she did not seem phased by it.

Basically this amusement park was a large meat festival, people were displaying it left right and centre and obviously seeking the attention of others. There were guys fawning around thinking they were God's gift to women, and women strolling around cock- teasing.

What is it with women and white bikinis? I am sorry but I don't care whether you have the perfect 10 body, a white bikini is a no no! They are the most hideous creations of fashion that I have ever seen- and believe me this has nothing to do with my own wearing of only black clothing.

A white bikini is like an elephant in a thong with a bad body hair problem.Come on girls, revealing maybe sexy, but seeing what you ate for breakfast certainly isn't. But perhaps I am wrong? Who am I to say what people should or shouldn't wear? All I ask is that they do it in the privacy of their own homes.