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| Recycling for the Commoner |
| Hold your mouse over me to see what I have to say! |
| People Say.... |
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Welcome to Nit-picky rules for the Die-hard Recycler! This is your host, Recycle Stick-Man, and today, he is going to teach us commoners the PROPER way to recycle (yeah, right, like there's a proper way) Recycle Stick-Man says: I heard that! Whatever. |
| Recycle Stick-Man says: *Ahem* I am the Recycle Stick-Man and today, I am going to teach you how to recycle both properly and elegantly. If you do not want to be a sloppy recycler, then heed my words of wisdom.... 1. It is good practice to recycle envelopes but before you do, take half a milli-second to rip out the little plastic window that so often adorns business envelopes, for they are NOT recycleable. And never will be. 2. All avid recyclers have a staple remover handy. Once they see a staple in a flyer or magazine, they immediately attack the offending staple and triumphantly throw the magazine/flyer in the appropriate bin. As you have already guessed, staples are not recycleable either. 3. For some reason, it is not proper to throw a folded piece of paper into the paper bin (unlike Harmony, who throws in every bit of paper that she sees, crumpled or otherwise). Is folded paper not recyleable? Shall we discriminate against folded pieces of paper? Hmmm.... Harmony butts in: What am I going to do with all my origami?! 4. As you can see, telephone books often have a glossy cover with newsprint paper on the inside. Now, would that go in the blue bag or the yellow bag? Simply rip the covers off and recycle accordingly. *same goes for other magazines* But I know you will be lazy, so...*sigh* 5. The avid recycler is not lazy. Even paper in spiral notebooks are recycleable. I know it will take a while to rip out the individual papers from the coils (BECAUSE COILS ARE NOT RECYCLEABLE! GEEZ! WHERE'S A COIL REMOVER WHEN YOU NEED ONE?!) but I have faith in you. Harmony rudely interrupts: *grumble grumble* Why do you never do your own spiral notebook? This is slavery! 6. As Harmony's gr. 4 teacher has taught her, it is possible to recycle Saran Wrap. Simply wash it out, hang it out to dry, and reuse it some other time, much like your clothes. But, unlike your clothing, it clings. 7. Almost forgot, it was so subtle. Notice how your binder is as hard as rock. That is because there is a piece of cardboard trapped between the plastic bindings. Recycle that too. And, thank you for coming to the Recycle Stick-Man's special. We hope that you follow these rules (it may well change your whole life)... Harmony: *still ripping out spiral notebook pages* ...and have good day. Harmony: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! |
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