I always thought that I would be a pretty good judge of what would be in store. To not be completely vague here.... what I mean is who it is that would stay in my life and who would return.
It never really worked out between us due to distance, significant others and being mad at each other (we never argued though). I confess that I got a bit obssessed with his charm and looks (he so hot it drove me nuts). Everything we said that we wanted to do together did not help. I remember almost everything that I talked with him about. We spent hours on the phone talking about everything that ever came to mind. The first time, I wanted to leave Jesse (ex-husband) for him and decided to go to Washington DC instead of Washington state because his dad was not sure about me living there with him
He brought me THERE. What I mean is, when we basked and drowned in each others prana I felt like I was really inside him. He is like being in an ocean of acid trip colors. His vibrations made me forget this world and remember how miserable it was. When I laid my head on him, I felt like I was gone.
I don't want to fuck it up again. I know where it all went wrong. If he takes me back, I will go where ever he wants to go. I will slave myself to my work so I can be ready when he comes. If not, I will go to him.
I was thinking about going celibate anyways. Perhaps now is the time that I should show just how loyal I can be.
Oh fair Sidhe above and below, here my crys!
Thankyou for your gifts, may his return successful be
Shout to me what not to do
What not to be
Oh dark friends, inspire me in how to please
Tell me how to bind his soul to me.