There is alot to say about time, even when it is  spoken within' the heart. People tend to lean on their
hearts in order to guide them to their happiness. Why is that so? Love is a guidance in this time, not an answer. The lies, the heartbreaks,
the unspoken words that tend to lead us to regret. The lies that we speak in order to guide someone to our hearts are not only spoken to them , but to ourselves, as well. We need to be who we are now, not a fantasy that we will become if you could just convince that someone you are courting, that devotion, trust ,love , understanding, is what my heart is made of.  I am that perfect man! The perfect man for you. I believe it, you should too. The perfect person in my heart is one that I can love. A person I can look at and LOVE(without thought). What they do wont guide me in that direction, its what I do that plays the major part of my heart. Im very sensitive and loving. But ,as easy as the love flows the easier it is to dissolve. Lust is the beginning , not love at first sight. Lust is the fun part , but when that ends, what is to follow? Love, that is what remains after the lust is gone. The learning part of a relationship falls within the lust period. What a cruel part! The newness of the relationship, the unjudging period. I love to be unjudged. I like to be accepted for who I am. It took me 36 years to get to whom I am today.
Some people even live within the lust stage of a relationship for most of their lives. When that is over, they move on to find more lust.That would be great to do, but then their isn't any goal. Getting to the love part isn't easy.  Three parts of a relationship follows: Lust-Love- Life !

Lust: what can you say. We all enjoy this part. You are perfect when I see you through my "Lusting" eyes. I enjoying spending
every minute of the day around you. Other things are not so important. When I wake up, you are there, the world is great. Its our oyster. We can do no wrong. Please, don't wrongly call this love... its not. Its Lust. Lusting is to desire , to look at life through a positive cognitive. I do it all the time. I make people happy, by portraying the world through lusting thoughts. That is the surface of my heart. Not the deep ridges of it.
People would be scared if they were to see what is buried deep inside my heart. Lust flows on a very thin layer around my heart. It intertwines with a string of happiness, carefree emotion and loving attitude. When that is used up, its love that is there.
 

Love:  Here it is. Love in a nutshell. This is not the ever ending purpose of life. Its the stepping stone to the future. For that
"Forever". Isn't that why we go through the lusting stage. No, because lust is great. Define love:  In my heart love can be found in many forms, like misery. I loved my brother and still do now, he committed suicide 19 years ago. what do I feel when I think of him. Love and I cry.  I love my aborted son, he has been gone for over 3 years. A woman made a choice to have an abortion. But when i think of it, I feel love and I cry. I cry for love. Contentness makes me feel love. When i finished my garden, even though it will die off in the winter. I sit there for hours and I feel love. the love is turned back into me, so I guess you can say, I love myself for that. In a relationship love will flow in many forms after lust is gone. Losing the lust stage you become more unperfect. So does the person you are with. commitment to love is important. You have to know what love is first. I know what love is. Its when you Don't have to say "I love You" every hour. Its when you are alone, and can feel it without telling anyone. Its commitment to the heart. Your heart, not theirs. Cant you love yourself? Love is a projection of emotion from your own heart. not the desire to be loved.I love you because you love me? Be for real.  Love letters are written from the lusting part of your heart.
Remember that. lets just say this , as it pops into my head... Lust is the surface of the heart, love is the inner part of the heart that is open to the soul, not the mind. Life is when the mind , body , and soul work together as one. Can you love me when I tell you  to "leave me alone!", I hope you can, because I love you enough to know  when I need to be alone, it is for a good reason. Im projecting negative emotions and don't want to drown you in them. Thats love. I really believe that love has NOTHING to do with the mind. I feel that it is an emotion that projects straight from the heart.

Life: There isn't a definition to life. I guess this is where you find the happiness that lust and love has given you. the
contentness that follows all the hard work. It could happen in a year or never at all. Independence, is that life? Can you live alone and not regret it? With love , you can. You have to figure this one out.
 

I sit here all the time and write about the heart, the mind, the body, and the soul. I wonder what for. The Internet really makes me upset.
I hear all the stories about the soul mates found on the internet. Lusting all the way through the distance of time. The lies that can be forgiven. The misguidance of love. The distance. TO the fact that we are whomever we desire, on the internet. All the lusting going on, that love is never there. People misusing an important part of a relationship. We advertise ourselves. Can you honestly hold a sign up in front of your house with your catchy "screen name" on it. Are you going to get the same response from the people that know you in the real word? I think not. because you can be judged by the people who LOVE you.

So, once again I play with random thoughts. i hope I at least show the world , once again, that life is what is in our hearts. Ill allow you to judge me, before you know me.       John Dear (a.k.a. loving2last)[email protected]