i'm movin' on.
by akilah d
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"Britney, you know why I'm doing this... just don't make this any harder on me than it already is," Justin said as he zipped up his duffel bag and tossed it into the corner with all of his other things. "I just can't be around you after what you did."

"But, J, I love you!" she cried from her seat on the edge of the bed. She had been in his hotel all morning and trying to persuade him to stay.

She knew that Justin was to stubborn, and he might never forgive her, but she had to try.

"Look! We've gone through this too many times... Neither of us can change what happened, no matter how bad I want to. Don't you know how much I wish I hadn't seen what I saw? I wish none of it had happened at all... but it did. YOU are the one that cheated on ME! I had to deal with that... now you have to deal with the consequences."

He turned his back to her so that she couldn't see his face turning red as he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to fight the tears that were stinging his eyelids. Once his eyes closed, the memories of the night before came rushing back like a flood: He had a dozen red roses to surprise her with. All he wanted was to make their time together special before he had to go back to New York. He almost passed out when he walked in on her in bed with Trace. He pushed his thoughts back and continued talking to her slowly. Each word sent a pain straight through his heart, "I've put up with your shit for the past three years, and now it's time for me to go."

Justin lifted his bags and walked towards the door, but just as he put his hand on the knob, he turned back to Britney, "Just know that you hurt me, and even though I will forgive, I can never forget it." With that, he walked out and left his former girlfriend to her own guilt.

"Oh my God! Justin! Can I have your autograph?" The young girl's shrill voice interrupted his thoughts as he unloaded his car at the airport terminal. He turned to see her running towards him with a pen and paper in hand.

"Sure," he said with a forced smile, "Who's it going to?"

"Kara."

"Alright, here ya go." he handed the sheet back after scribbling his name on it.

"Thank you! You are so cute! Ahhhh!" she squealed as she retreated back to where her mother stood waiting for her.

Justin sighed as he gave his last bag to the attendant. Even though it was a warm night, he had on a hooded jacket and sunglasses as he headed to the gate. "How am I going to keep this out of the headlines?" he thought to himself as the plane began to take off. He had lost all of the privacy in his life, and now he wanted it back the most.

All he wanted was to be somewhere that nobody knew who he was. He just wanted to be the Justin that could go out and play basketball or watch a movie without people wondering what he was doing. He was tired of being "Justin Timberlake of Nsync" or "Britney Spears' boyfriend."

He sank down deeper into his seat, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't keep the tears from falling. He hated feeling sorry for himself like that, I mean, he had it all, but in that moment, he just wished that he could give it all back. He knew that he had to get away from Florida, from Britney, and from the memories.

"Johnny, I just have to do this." Justin explained as he sat in the WEG New York office a few days later. He had talked to the guys, and they had all agreed on what was the best plan for everyone involved. "I have to find out who I am before I can give anything else to the group. I've spent my whole damned life running in circles. Record a CD. Promote it. Tour. Record a new CD. Promote THAT. Tour. It's all a joke, and I'm just spinning wheels, getting older and going nowhere," Justin continued.

"But, you guys are about to start the US tour. You can't just stop."

"Listen. We'll finish up the tour, and then we can all take some time off. I can do this, Lance wants to do that whole space thing, Chris has FuMan stuff, Joe's in that movie, and Jace wants to do his producing. Johnny, we NEED this!"

"Look, I don't want to talk about this right now. Just let me think about what you're throwing at me," Johnny sighed.

Justin had decided that he deserved more in life. In time, Johnny succumbed to his pleas, and they all agreed to take a break from Nsync. They would take about six months off and get back to their own reality out of the spotlight. He knew that the fans would be disappointed, but he had to do what was right for himself for once.

Justin was definitely the most relieved of them all. By getting out of the same old routine, he would be able to burry himself in his writing and recording, and he even planned on trying out some producing. He knew that he had to change everything in his life so that he could forget about how he had been betrayed. He had to think of himself and everybody else would just have to understand.

"So Justin, do you regret giving up on Nsync back in 2002?" the reporter asked as they sat in his house in Beverly Hills fifteen years later. He had been living there alone for the past few years, and the silence of the large house just seemed to remind him of everything that he had given up.

"Regret it? All the time. I mean, I will always wonder what could have happened if I would have come back to the group... but, you can't change the past, can you?"

"So, you basically abandoned everyone in your family and your band mates to pursue your solo career?"

"Yeah... that is my biggest regret of all. I let my personal problems and frustrations in life keep me away from everything and everyone that I loved and loved me."

"If you could send one message to your former band mates, Chris, Joey, J.C. and Lance, what would it be?"

"Well, I know that I've made some mistakes, and I learned from them. I just hope that someday they can forgive me, and we can all move on."

*****
Copyrighted 2002.
Do not steal or plagiarize any part or idea of the story.
If you do, I will report you to Zero Tolerance. You have been
warned.