WhatsUp35

Sunday December 12, 2004 -- 4:00pm
This is the time of year when one becomes inspired to say, "ARGH!"

The real question is when I will be able to finish my holiday shopping. Hanukah is almost over, and I haven't even sent the cards yet! Forget about Christmas! Dee said it nicely last night: "It's too bad Christmas can't be after the holidays."

I went to THE MALL today. I was proud of myself for getting there at 10am, when parking was reasonable. I was happy and joyous and fa-la-lascious for several hours, which is quite amazing, given my generalized hatred of THE MALL, and commercialism, and spending money (although I do like spending money on other people) and, well, humanity in general. I even maintained my cool when served a bacon-ridden Caesar salad at Wendy's instead of the side salad I'd ordered. It wasn't until hours later, trapped in a corner of a store that made me feel particularly older than I should be, when I decided I'd had it.

The sad thing is that I did not complete my shopping. The sad thing is that I am finding it very difficult to find amazingly brilliant items for the people I am supposed to know well and super easy to find gifts for people I hardly know at all. In fact, I bought a perfect gift for someone I don't even know and will never meet, yet cannot think of thingsfor my nearest and dearest friends. L.A.M.E.

PS Massive Wish List update last night!

Thursday December 9, 2004 -- 10:10am
I went holiday shopping last night. I love holiday shopping! Especially now that I have some little kids to buy gifts for. It's really too bad I am not obscenely wealthy, because I have to reject so many items based on price. Oh well. I did post my Wish List, but there isn't very much on it just yet. There isn't much that I know I want. When I go shopping, I start wanting things, but they are not things I would want all on my own! I think I am going to include a list of products I use. I know this isn't very exciting, and no one wants to buy someone laundry detergent for Christmas, but they are things I will use and it's a good, if indirect, way to contribute to what I really DO want, which is enough money to buy a house someday... and pay my rent in the meanwhile.

The exception is that there are about 500 million cds I want. I'll have to ponder it a bit and make a list of those.

Wednesday December 8, 2004 -- 11:05am
I am going to make a concerted effort to be more interesting once I am no longer employed.

Steve and I had a smashing time in Boston this past weekend. He will probably never want to go anywhere with me again after all of the walking I made us do, but we had a blast. Boston is such fun this time of year. The Macy's windows were done up with scenes from "A Christmas Story!"

Our weekend in Holiday Central (we actually witnessed a Santa Clause motorcade) was followed by our first real snow of the season. As usual, it rendered everyone in a motor vehicle into hopeless idiots. Except for me, of course. :) The snow, which I celebrated by helping Steve decorate his tree, set my spirits into Holiday Mode, which is a good thing since Hanukah started last night and I haven't even thought about shopping yet. It's Sima's first, so we must spoil her rotten, of course. I think I'll go to the mall tonight after work.

Speakers, sound card, and everything else seem to be working on the home computer now, so there should be plenty of Top Ten hoopla coming soon. Maybe I'll even get around to posting my Wish List before the holidays are over. A girl can dream...

Monday November 29, 2004 -- 4:35pm
Ok. I am ready to confess. I quit my job. I gave my notice about two weeks ago, and my last day (officially) will be December 24th. Merry Christmas to ME! No, I do not have anything else lined up, and yes, I realize how risky and irresponsible that is. I am feeling quite happy about it all, frankly. I plan to find myself a nice little job doing something to pay the bills without the long commute and constant sense of impending doom, while I try to figure out what my next step is going to be. Retirement sounds good, but people keep telling me that it's not really an option.

That is more or less why I have not posted anything in the past 2 weeks. I was waiting to tell my parents up close and personal. That has been done, so now I can go back to posting... well... once every 2 weeks.

Monday November 15, 2004 -- 10:30am
This happens to me way more than it happens to anyone else. Coming back from Binghamton last night, I noticed that I was getting low on gas. Stupid old route 88 doesn't have rest stops with service stations (a fact I had previously found charming earlier in the day, when I wasn't running out of gas) so I had to get off at an exit. I was aiming for the Hess station, because I refuse to buy gas at Mobil as long as they continue to charge 5 cents more per gallon than Stewarts. Actually, lately they've been charging up to TEN cents more per gallon, but that's besides the point. Anyway, the little sign says it's 1.5 miles to the Hess. Unfortunately, there must have been another little sign that said to turn at some point, because I drove and drove and the stores turned into cows and no Hess station.

But I was heading North, which was the general direction I wanted, so I pressed on rather than turning back.

Some day I will learn my lesson and accept the fact that sometimes you just have to turn back.

I drove and drove, fearful that I would run out of gas on this terribly dark farmland highway and find myself starring in the next episode of Without a Trace or The Rocky Horror Picture Show... or worse, that I would hit a deer. I found a Sunoco, but they wanted $2.16 for a gallon of their cheapest, and I scoffed at that.

Soon I was seeing signs with mileages to towns I'd never heard of, and I began to get just the slightest bit suspicious that I might be getting off-course. Then a Citgo appeared like a beacon on the horizon. I wept for the good old days when one could purchase reasonably priced gas at a Mobil station just off the highway and looked back with bittersweet nostalgia for the $2.16 a gallon Sunoco station. I put in enough gas to get me somewhere else and bought a cup of coffee that I swear to God tasted exactly like celery, and then decided it might be a good idea to look at the map.

Sometimes you just have to turn back. That is my new mantra.

Sooooo.... I ended up in Cooperstown... which is not exactly what you'd call on the way back to Albany from Binghamton. I mean, it IS, but only if you're an idiot. Then I made the mistake of following road signs instead of just sticking to what I knew, and I ended up in freaking Canajoharie. If you've never been to Canajoharie, I highly recommend it. They have the most creative way of getting you from place to place via directing you around in circles until you are weeping and banging your head on the steering wheel. Also, there is absolutely no one outside their home after 7pm on a Sunday night. No. One. I think I saw two cars. And I think they were being driven by ghosts.

By the time I got home, I might as well have driven back to Binghamton for gas.

Tuesday November 9, 2004 -- 6:45pm
The other morning, Steve came back from Stewart's with much more than the expected newspaper.

"I got breakfast," he said.

Turns out he was accosted by the teenage girl working behind the counter. With frightening accuracy, he immitated her adolescent come-on.

"You should buy some ice cream," he said, very convincingly like a 16 year old girl.

"Oh? Why?" (in his own voice)

"Because it's the last day of the sale... and I get a bonus for every gallon I sell."

Who could argue with that, really? So we had chocolate swirl for breakfast. It's good to be an adult. Except for that whole having to pay bills thing.

Monday November 1, 2004 -- 8:15am
You know you're getting old when you are able to injure yourself in your sleep. I feel like someone is stabbing me in the side. Ow.

Yesterday was the least Halloweeny Halloween of my life thus far. I saw exactly one person in costume - a little girl dressed as a green fairy, playing in the dirt at Indian Ladder Farms, where Steve and I went for cider and donuts. I actually completely forgot that it was Halloween until my doorbell rang. Luckily, it turned out to be Steve, because I would have had to give out one of my precious cider donuts if it had been trick-or-treaters.

I'm feeling depressed about the election tomorrow.

Saturday October 23, 2004 -- 12:30pm
I decided to make this the year (school-year, not calendar year) to get my silly certification for teaching, seeing as I spent all that money on the degree and all. It involves me taking somewhere between 2 to 4 really long tests, and today was the first.

And... I know this is really psychotic... like, more psychotic than how much I enjoy moving... but, I really enjoyed taking the test! I had to wake up stupid early... on a Saturday... and I had NO PROBLEM. I got right up. I was excited! A little nervous, but not about the test. I was nervous about finding the testing site, and what would happen if I really had to pee during the 4 hour event. The test itself... no. Taking tests is what I'm GOOD at. How incredibly sad. I truly was meant for academia.

The test itself was not what I would call "easy." I can see how people fail. But I think I passed. In fact, I'm almost sure of it. I really enjoyed figuring out the answers, and I know that means there is something terribly, terribly wrong with my brain.

The whole experience made me wish I was back in school, studying something really interesting and useless, like Eastern philosophy, or art history, or - ahem - anthropology.

Monday October 18, 2004 -- 8:10pm
I have figured out what the problem with The Red Sox is. They need a dose of healthy New York cynicism. I figured this out over the course of the last 24 hours, during which I stood in front of my television and declared, "There is NO WAY they are going to win this game, the stupid jerks," clicked off aforementioned television, and went to bed, only to wake up and find that they DID win it.

They need more cynicism. None of this, "I Still Believe!!!" crap! What the hell do you still believe?!? You probably weren't even alive the last time the Red Sox won a World Series! Get a grip! You need to take a lesson from New York and be like, "You assholes!!! Try catching the freakin' ball before I send some guy named Guido out to break your freakin' legs!!!"

Friday October 15, 2004 -- 6:50pm
Holy Jeez! Has it really been this long since I've written?!? Well, there was Super Dirt Week and all. I have much to write about that, and I was sort of putting off writing anything until I wrote about that and, and, well, yeah. Anyway, happy Friday.

Today I can pay anywhere from $2.08 to $2.18 for a gallon of gasoline. I've noticed that gas prices have become a lot more random in recent months. The real mystery to me is why anyone in their right mind would purchase gas at Mobil anymore. They used to consistently charge 2 cents more per gallon thatn Stewart's, who gets their fuel from the same exact source. Now they are charging up to 10 cents more per gallon, and people still go there!!! People are duh-huh-hum!!!

Of course, that is what the current national administration is counting on. Sigh.

Monday October 4, 2004 -- 4:00pm
My week has gotten off to a poor start. I woke up feeling very odd, so I opted to call in sick. I then proceeded to sleep until 1:30pm!!! I cannot explain this, other than to think that maybe my odd feeling really WAS some sort of sickness that is hopefully gone now. I am not looking forward to tomorrow, because I am likely to be reprimanded (again - I already got a call today) for only calling two of the 18 thousand people I should have called in order to call in sick.

I feel depressed... even though I had a very nice weekend. Steve and I went to Connecticut for a wedding, and we visited with my parents. Fun, all around. He's off now to Super Dirt Week, where I will be joining him on Thursday night. I wish I was there now.

By the way, my bottles web site is no more, however, I'd be happy to make bottles for anyone who wants one to buy for holiday gifts or anything. Just get in touch with me.

Wednesday September 29, 2004 -- 11:00am
The Great Coffee War is raging something fierce at the office this morning. My boss (new boss - they changed me again) makes it high test - even a bit strong for me, but I drink it without complaint because it's coffee and someone else made it. The Accountant makes it weak (although she claims to use the exact same coffee to water ratio that I do) but, again, it's coffee made by Not Me. Today both of them made coffee! First my boss, then the accountant poured it into a carafe she purchased expressly for this purpose and proceeded to make her own.

So I filled my mug with a mixture of the two, and I'm a happy girl.

Something weird (and not in that good way) happened with the Baby Blue Soccer Mom Superoo this morning. I should call this one in to "Car Talk," but I'll ask you all (my adoring fans) to solve the problem first. It has happened about 3 times over the past year or so. I fill my gas tank - well, the Subaru's, actually - and everything is fine. Then I go to sleep, wake up the next day, get into my car, everything is still fine. THEN, once I'm on the highway going 65 miles per hour, the Bizarreness begins. The car begins to lose power, as if it has stalled, but it hasn't really stalled exactly, unless a car can gradually stall. In the past, I have gone down to about 40 miles per hour, then it "catches" and resumes normal speed.

Not so today. The thing actually back fired before I could get off the road and stop (at which point it did stall). Then it started acting as if it wasn't going to start back up again! Until I threatened it in a very frightening pre-caffeine voice, at which point it started back up and proceeded to behave normally and act as if nothing had happened to begin with.

Thoughts? E-mail me.

Tuesday September 28, 2004 -- 9:35am
Yesterday was a stupid day, ending with utter stupidity... mainly mine. I stayed very late at work in order to go to a 7:00 meeting on Middle Line Road. Well, I spent 25 minutes frantically driving up and down Midline Road, endangering my poor little life by driving erratically in the growing darkness and nearly running out of gas, before giving up and deciding to drive a bit farther north in search of a gas station. No more than 1/2 a mile up the main road, I discovered MidDLE Line Road. But I still needed gas, so by the time I put $5 worth of ridiculously expensive gas into my starving car, and eventually found the meeting place, it was almost 8:00 and there was no one there.

There was much cursing.

The worst part is that I was kind of in charge of the meeting. Argh.

But what kind of idiot town puts MIDLINE Road 1/2 a mile from MIDDLE Line Road?!?

In other news, my parents are moving to Virginia. Next weekend! BWAH!!!!

Sunday September 26, 2004 -- 6:25pm
Things are looking up on the home computer front! I even have sound, although there's still something wrong. Everyone sounds like they're stuttering. It's a little odd. Anyhow, maybe by next weekend I can update the Top Ten list. Woo-hoo! Try to contain yourself. If you can't, then try this.

Thursday September 23, 2004 -- 9:25am
I've had a rather painful realization this morning. Yesterday, at the after school program, I participated in a game that involved running. I generally try not to run, as a rule, unless something scary is chasing me. However, I ran. Several times. And today I have become aware of just how out of shape and physically unfit I am. Ugh.

This morning on the drive in, the car in front of me slowed way down for no apparent reason other than the traffic light well ahead. I figured she was just being super cautious. Silly me. At the last possible moment, with me right behind her, she swerved to avoid hitting the carcas of a deceased skunk, which I promptly ran over. Now, aside from the sheer trauma of running over an animal (even if it was already dead) I am saddled with the horrendous smell of skunk with which the Baby Blue Soccer Mom Superoo now reeks. Ugh.