By J. Estelle Newlin
I have been lying to you all.
But listen before you begin to break,
Read it through before you fall.
I play the role as if I am a person,
I Hug and I cry when you are all there.
But inside I have nothing, not even my heart,
I have begun to really not care.
I have been slipping a while,
And while everyone has their up's and down's,
Mine cannot stop,
All my smiles have been replaced with frowns.
I have lost my best friend,
She is lost in the midst as I selfishly lock myself away.
I didn't want it to end,
But I couldn't keep putting her through that again everyday.
So she left my side,
And now I am alone facing my self centered torment.
Though I have tried to stop,
This feeling comsumes me, I am feeling myself grow dormant.
Loving others had become desolate,
My paradise barren as this black cloud comsumes my soul.
Even caring has become innane,
I cannot afford to again have my heart broken.
Now that I have lost her,
I dare not turn to another, for they would just sit there and laugh.
They would tell me to find her,
And that I can't do for I love her far better than that.
So to Jen, wherever you are,
I can tell you I miss you, And beg you to help me find resolution.
When you come back home,
May be then we can find a way to end my illusion.
(copyright 2003 J. Estelle Newlin)