My comments, as always, are in red real version http://www.lovetest.com/loveteststart.html

Original Internet Love Test
ORIGINAL LOVE TEST

Get personal advice based on the answers to this test. Totally personal I bet, oh yea, created by a loving personal machine that knows youIt also calculates the compatibility between you and your heartthrob using numerology based on the names that were entered and, of course, cheese!. The LoveTest also provides astrological compatibility information about the selected zodiac signs. Thats not all, the LoveTest will also do your laundry as your out stalking your heartthrob, it slices and dices after your heartthrob breaks up with you! It also comes in a lovely carrying case.

Before you can start the tests that I'm gonna so fail, we need to know a bit more about you to personalize the questions. Please fill in these items and make your selection in the menus. Please

Okay, let's get started. Oh, Lets do, your so nice, its like we're friends now! Fill out the form below to get your questionnaire. You were just using my to get me to answer your question, and I though you were my friend. If you fill in your e-mail address, then you can also receive a copy of your personal results in your mailbox.
Information About You
Full Name:
Gender: Yes please! No! Damnit! that doesn't work here! Age:
Zodiac Sign:
e-mail Address:
Information About Your Dream Partner
Full Name:
Gender: Yes. No. Damn! Its still not funny. Age: Under
Zodiac Sign:
Ready?

Please note:
- Submit accurate information for best results. For best results Shake well
- Zodiac signs, age and sex will be logged for statistical analysis. Hidden meaning:
- Submit your e-mail address to receive the results by e-mail for free after the initial fees, of course
- E-mail address is optional. More features are available if the address is entered. Like buck-naked hot, nasty sex!
- Check the privacy policy at the bottom of the page if you have any questions.

 

 

 

Part #2 ooh goody!

Same deal. Me in red.

 

Original Internet Love Test
ORIGINAL LOVE TEST
Love Personality Quiz

Personal questionnaire for
Theodore Geisel & Amanda Hugginkiss

Please answer the questions below. While answering, we hope that you also get some starting points to think about your relationship.

Ok, some of the questions might not make very much sense for you now, however they are necessary for the compatibility test: they make sense when combined with the answers of the other questions. There are questions which analyze how well you know the other person, how you feel about your partner as well as other compatibility questions.

Answer each question and click the "Continue..." button at the end. Remember that none of the answers are right or wrong, just select the one that best fits you. After taking the full quiz, you'll see how your relationship scores on a general level and how compatible you are on a numerology and astrology level.
  1. Theodore Geisel, do you think Amanda Hugginkiss is beautiful? Well, thats a hard call. If you define beauty as "at least she's a woman" then, yes.
2. Does she know you?
3. Does she have a moped, motorcycle or a car? She's been hit by quite a few.
4. Does she dress stylishly? Style is a relative term. If by Stylish, you mean "wears clothes 60% of the time" then no.
5. Theodore Geisel, do you know her parents? I had sex with her parents.
6. Does Amanda Hugginkiss know your parents? My father is a cop on the anti-prostitute team. He knows her very well. my mother does abortions. She also regularly sees Amanda.
7. Is she taller than you? If she lies on her back.
8. Do you know her friends? No, they live inside her head. I don't get to see them.
9. Do you know her last boyfriend? I killed her last boyfiend with a 2 by 4 with a nail in it.
10. Has she already sent you a letter? Technically, a mailbomb.
11. Has she given a present to you? See above.
12. Have you already been away with Amanda Hugginkiss? If "away" is another word for sex, then yes. If "away" is another word for "tried to beat to death with a pool stick" then also yes.
13. Do you know where Amanda Hugginkiss lives? Are you saying I'm a stalker!? Yes. Yes that I know where she lives, not yes that I'm a stalker. Maybe that too.
14. Does she know where you live, Theodore Geisel? Damn! That sounds Menacing!
15. Have you already been at her place? Yes. And wearing her clothes when she's at work no less.
16. Does she have her own room? Yes, a comfy, padded one.
17. Have you ever had a date with Amanda Hugginkiss? If by Date you mean "tried to beat to death with a pool stick" then yes.
18. Have you asked her to go with you? Well, to go to hell with me.
19. Have you brought her home already? No, I left her there.
20. Have you been alone with Amanda Hugginkiss?  
21. Have you hugged her already?  
22. Have you kissed her already? Kissed her ass mostly.
23. Have you danced with her already? Not her, but I've danced with death
24. Theodore Geisel, do you love her? If I knew that, why in the hell would I be taking a "love" test?
Click the button to continue:

 

Original Internet Love Test (continued)
ORIGINAL LOVE TEST
Love Personality Quiz

Personal questionnaire for
Theodore Geisel & Amanda Hugginkiss

Ok, you've finished the first part... you only need to fill out these additional questions and you'll get the LoveTest analysis.

Answer each question and click the "Analyze..." button at the end. After taking the full quiz, you'll see how your relationship scores on a general level and how compatible you are on a numerology and astrology level.
  25. Do you go out (go steady) with Amanda Hugginkiss? I've been trying to take her out. Mob style.
26. Does she like football?

She likes putting her foot into other guys balls.

27. Does she like any special sport? If by sport you mean, she kills people for sexualy pleasure, then I don't know.
28. Does she smoke? Only when she's on fire.
29. Is she shy? The hell kind of question is that?I can't even give a smart ass answer to it.

 
30. Can she be jealous? She killed my parents because they spent to much time with me.
31. Does she have long hair? No since I set it on fire.
32. Theodore Geisel, would you cry for Amanda Hugginkiss? She can cry herself.
33. Would you like to see her again? I'd like to see her shot again.
34. Is Amanda Hugginkiss older than you, Theodore Geisel? She's 12. I'm a dirty old man of 73. Do the math.
35. Does she wear glasses? Not on her face.
36. Does she have freckles? Do fish swim? Do they? Tell me!
37. Is she thin? Thinly sliced. Now.
38. Does she have blue eyes? He useally has bloodshot eyes.
39. Does she have a boyfriend other than you, Theodore Geisel? Not anymore.
40. Would you have sex with Amanda Hugginkiss? Would you really, Theodore Geisel? Is that your final answer Theodore Geisel? Yes... Uh, Yes, Yes I would...Oh, shit. It that my final answer...Uh...Can I use a lifeline?
41. Does she know that you are in love with her?

I'm sorry for the Who Wants To Be A Millionare joke above. Just not that sorry.

42. Does she mean a lot to you? She's mean to me alot.
43. Theodore Geisel, do you yearn for Amanda Hugginkiss? Read that outloud. I don't even have to make a joke here.
Click the button to get the analysis:

The End

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