2088 – Post-Xanadrine era

Dr. Hal Shantra was looking for an air conditioning condenser coil in the wasteland under the city when the thing fell. It dropped about a mile away from where he was standing and landed with a plop in a pile of refuse. His reinforced glasses didn’t block out the sun, so when the object fell from the giant mushroom-like city past the sun, Hal didn’t get a good look at it. However, it did look vaguely human shaped, and generally when people shaped things fell from the city overhead when they landed they tended to stop being human shaped, and become omelet shaped. A cold wind started up and blew acidic mist from the nearby post-lake and ruffled Hal’s now short-for-him hair that become more gravity-defying than he would have liked. Hal had expected to go bald as he got old, instead his hair just stood up. It wasn’t really that long, it was more like mid-length, but it was still sticking up in a strange manner. At least it wasn’t grey, Hal though to himself as he scratched his biker-style mustache. He didn’t look like a biker by any stretch of the imagination, he was actually kinda on the skinny side. That isn’t to say, he wasn’t dangerous. Whatever the thing that had fallen from the city was, if it had an attitude, Hal could let it know that his middle name rhymed with attitude.

He buttoned up his shin length green rain/weather coat covered in duct tape to fix its various holes. It was faded and worn, but it worked very well. He flung his also-worn red scarf around his neck. His wife had made it for him and insisted that he wear it. His flannel shirt and his loose jeans completed his ensemble in a very untrendy way, but that was ok, he wasn’t planning on going anywhere important. He also had one other accessory he ever went outside without, he kept it close to his heart, and his father had given it to him before he made his trip up to the city and never returned. Hal had had it for over 40 years or so and had kept it in perfect working order. Although his wife’s gun was bigger, Hal’s gun held more ammo, and was a family hand me down. His father gave it to him as a teenager because his father knew the future was a dangerous place. What Hal’s father didn’t know was that the city was an even more dangerous place. Hal had been up there about 18 years ago and it was crazy. People didn’t think of their actions, some drug called Xanadrine had done away with consequences, good and bad.

It had also destroyed most of the earth, rendering it unlivable, but Hal figured that was ok. addicted humanity had moved into jetson-esque tower cities high above the now ruined junkpile that was standing in for earth. Looking over the landscape would have made you think you had been transported to a 70’s psychedelic album cover. Just not as happy. Hal and the rest of his village lived on the "bottom side" of the world, below the towering city-shrooms, in the refuse heap that the ground had became after there had been no consequences. But there were, no matter what drug you were taking. When Hal had gone to the city, he learned that the drug mearly gave the illusion of no consequences. Humanity has not progressed much because of that, it had taken a large step backwards, but life under the cities was simple but safe and sane.

Hal was standing at the edge of the shadow of the city, it around 6:00, it would soon get dark as his house and the removed town of Kafka would be shrouded in darkness as the sun moved behind the massive city in the air, then it would become light for a little while when the sun moved past the city and sat. Hal wanted to get home before dark but was curious to see what the fallen object was. He hurried toward it on foot, he couldn’t get his old van into the junkheap of things that had fallen off, been thrown off, or dumped by the towering city. It was a great wealth but a big mess. He moved quickly over the piles of garbage with skill that came with living in this mess for all his life. He moved quickly and arrived near the impact scene and pulled out his gun, in case the falling object was throw off for a good reason. He peaked the mound of trash that obscured his view. Then he saw it. A girl, naked, beat up bad, but still breathing. Hal couldn’t just leave her there. Hal pitched the fallen woman over her shoulder, thinking that his wife would have a fit when he brought a nameless naked passed-out woman home with him. As he was carrying the woman over his shoulder he realized he was getting to old to be carrying girls he didn’t know home with him. His mother was always mad when he did that. He climbed over the piles of trash and other refuse toward his house as darkness translocated itself past Hal. Hal could still see his house which wasn’t in darkness yet, but he was. The city blocked off a lot of the sun, although he doubted there would be any thieves, thugs or robbers this far from the highway, but there would certainly be some irate creatures that would come out. Messing with nuclear plants did have consequences, whether the pill clouded your view of consequences or not.

Hal topped over a garbage mound and stopped in his tracks, right in front of him was a big ugly hulk that resembled the bastard child of a rhino, a bear, and a gelatin mold with a visible exoskeleton. It was poking around in a trash bag thrown from the city, itself probably a genetic experiment thrown from the city because it had no consequences, no purpose. Now it was in Hal’s way. Hal, like a futuristic Adam naming creatures good, bad, and appalling, Hal decided to call the creature Big Ugly. Now that he had named it, he could know what he was aiming at. He dropped the naked girl into the trash with a thud, and Big Ugly turned to look. Crusted over flattened half domes on the side of its head split into segments and opened up like a grotesque flower in fast motion. It looked at him past the bone flowers that concealed its eyes with watery black spheres on drippy red stalks. Then it snapped insect like jaws open spraying saliva and mooed. It wasn’t a friendly cow type moo, but more like an angry bird roar that was imitating a cow. Hal pulled his gun, a large scratched-up silver thing that looked more like something a plumber would use than a weapon. Hal thumbed the on button and the gun produced a high pitch squeal as the electromagnet in it engaged. It would be 15 seconds before it would be ready to fire. The naked woman was starting to come to, at the absolute worst time possible. She pushed her self to her elbows and moaned. Hal picked up a toaster and winged it at her head. It impacted with a bonk, and the woman’s eyes rolled back in her head and she fell back. She had fallen off a city 800 miles in the air and survived so a toaster wasn’t going to kill her, Hal reasoned. His gun reached a higher pitched tone and ended in a high pitched metallic tzink noise.

Big Ugly roared again, and even at the distance he was at, he could smell the malodor of the creature. Hal leveled his gun at it and pulls the trigger. A metallic needle is shoved out of the barrel at a supersonic speed, the force forces Hal back a step and throws some light trash into the air with its power. It impacts Big Ugly on its neck and Big Ugly squishes in at the impact point like an overstuffed pillow. It wobbles and vibrates like jello struck with a hammer. It roars and gallops ungracefully away, none the worse for wear. Hal picks the again-unconscious girl and slings her over his shoulder with a grunt. No need to kill it if it was out of his way. He trudged the rest of the way home, and pushed the door open with his foot.

"Hey, honey! I’m home, I brought a naked woman too!"

His wife, who was his same age, but aging so much more gracefully poked her head around the corner.

"oh, it that right? Well, I’ll put an extra place at the table, we haven’t had visitors for a few years, and not naked one for at least five years, oh she’s out like a light isn’t she? Just put her somewhere till she wakes up." Hal dropped the girl on the living room table on his way to the kitchen. It had large windows giving a panoramic view of the giant junkfield-earth. His kitchen was starting to look like his grandmothers. It was nearly all oak and very antique looking. There was a wind-chime made of stained-glass shards hanging over the dinner table. Elaborately carved chairs sat around the dinner table, unused because dinner was usually eaten in the living room with the TV going even though there were almost no good tv shows, the bottom-side news could be counted to take the place of dinner conversation. The kitchen was a warm, inviting place along with the rest of the house, which made Hal worry that he was turning into his grandparents. He leaned toward what his wife was cooking took a big sniff. Potatos au gratin. Alright! He looked his wife in her deep brow eyes.

"If she ever wakes up, your cooking will put her back down again" Hal said and his wife whacked him between the eyes with her shiny metal cooking spoon in a practiced motion. It bounced off Hal’s glasses but still stunned him momentarily. Hal had been good friends with Elle for most of his life and although they had never dated they ended up getting married at some point. She was still looking good, at the threshold before she became an old lady, but more regal and wise than when she was younger. Hopefully she would retain her beauty. She was wearing a simple flowered dress that wasn’t exactly flattering and probably nothing else. It wasn’t like she was going anywhere today. Her butt length hair had been put up in a bun with a letter opener shoved through it to hold it up. She bend over to get some plates out of a cabinet and Hal examined her rear. Yea, he though to himself, he was lucky and he and his wife would be in a good condition for a good while. She looked up at him past her old-lady style glasses.

"so, where’d miss naked come from anyways?" She asked while searching for some plates.

"She fell from the city"

"ooooh, the city eh? Sounds like trouble" The glint in Elle’s eyes told him she was looking forward to it."

"yup, landed in a big pile of garbage"

"oh, I though that was you stinking" Elle chucked to herself and produced three plates and stood up, stretching her pretty frame. She was about Hal’s size, less flab, more feminine. If they were to get in a serious fistfight the winner would be the one who got the first hit in.

"she’s beat up, what do you figure got after her?" Elle asked, concerned "and she has a big bruise on her head" She added

"yeah, I had to knock her out with a toaster"

"what?"

"well I discovered yet another unknown mutant out there and had to dissuade it from eating me and she woke up and…"

"Well, you could have done something less drastic"

"well, it seemed like a good idea at the time"

"oh" Elle sounded worried, out of character for her, "this mutant, um, tell me was it close, did you name it?"

"it was about a mile, almost, its called Big Ugly, its manure is used to grow the ugly tree"

"oh" she seemed calm now. She went back to stirring the potatos.

A small voice worked its way in from the living room.

"Where in the hell am I?" it said. Hal and Elle poked their head around the corner at the same time.

"Oh hello dear, Nice to see you’ve woken up" Elle put on her grandmotherly voice, that she had been practicing in the shower recently to use on village kids. Elle could never be a grandmother or mother because of the radiation that she was exposed to as a kid.

"where am I? Where are my clothes, My head hurts" she whined. The girl couldn’t be more than 18 and already falling nude from the sky, kids sure do grow up fast.

"Your in a house, below the city, I’m Mrs. Ellevario Shantra, this is my husband Dr. Halkin Shantra" Elle introduced them using their full names in her soothing, calm, animal taming voice.

"you fell down from the city into a big pile of trash and Hal though you might be hurt and he took you to our house, make yourself at home" Elle said with a big smile. The girl got comfortable and seemed like she planned to make herself at home even if it hadn’t been offered. Elle elbowed Hal.

"um…would you like some dinner?" Hal asked, trying to sound grandmotherly too, but failing miserably. He and his wife retreated to the kitchen.

"She could be on the drug, should I administer Xaxanol? We can use the Nanobots to administer it" Hal said seriously gesturing to a unlabeled round wooden cylinder about 2 inches in diameter and about as high as a hard-back book in a rack holding other containers just like it. It was between the container labeled Rice and the one labeled Sugar.

"lets hold on and see" Elle said, not wanting to take drastic steps just yet. She put

generous amounts on the plates and took it in the girl, both her and Hal wearing smiles. Elle gave the girl food and the girl ate hungrily.

"Would you like some salt or anything, or a drink?" Elle asked, pampering the girl with a smile. She was still naked, and Hal though she might like some clothes.

"Why don’t I get you something to wear, I’m sure you’d be more comfortable then" Hal offered

"yeah, where are my clothes anyway? My head is killing me" The girl whined between bites. Hal ran into the bedroom and grabbed some of Elle’s clothes, the girl was smaller that Elle so anything he grabbed should probably fit her. He settled on a red tank-top and a white pair of pants for her. He was on his way out of the room and decided to take his coat off and threw it on the bed. When he arrived in the living room, Elle and the girl were in mid coversation

"…and I said, yes it is humanly possible, and he said, nuh-uh, and I was going to win the bet cause winning is good they say, so that’s all I remember"

"Oh, well, that’s very interesting, do you have anybody up their who could come and get you?" Elle asked, sounding like she was interrogating a potential boyfriend for a nonexistent daughter.

"Well….OH my head, it hurts, aaaaah! Make it stop!" The girl complained and dropped to the floor and moaned loudly. Hal stood with clothes in his hand, lost for words and actions. Elle crouched down beside her, trying to comfort her.

"My HEAD! I’m GOING TO DIE! MAKE IT STOP!" The girl went limp. Elle stood up.

"She’s passed out again, typical of Xanadrine withdrawals, wow, they must have bee pumping it into her since birth" She reported to Hal

"Well, I can give her some pain killers but that won’t help the hallucinations, I guess I could knock her out untill its over."

"that would be good" Elle poked the still-naked girl with her foot as the girl spasmed on the floor. "Just don’t use a toaster this time, ok?"

"hmph" Hal walked into the hallway and into the bathroom and returned with a syringe and thrust it into the girl’s arm. She stopped spasming.

"What did you find out?" Hal asked as he stood up.

"Her name is Sharon duLong, her mother is named after a flower or something, she doesn’t remember much about what happened, I think we should give her a bath or something, she smells like she’s done marinating"

They looked down at the girl, who was fully unconscious for the 3^rd time today. She was drooling on the Oriental rug.

"I’m tired, she shouldn’t wake up for at least…" Hal looked at his watch "…72 hours, by then she should be over the withdrawal and hungrier than a pack of…"

"Stoned anorexic supermodels?" Elle guessed

"Um, probably not that much, she’ll eat like…"

"Bears at a one-legged cubscout convention?" Elle guessed again, Hal looked at her.

"Like a alcoholic trying to get a buzz of rum cake." Hal explained. They walked into the bedroom leaving Sharon duLong inanimate, naked on the floor.