Of men and Goldfish

Reis

The only reason Reis (4390 Miller Street) bought so many goldfish was to feed his girlfriend’s cat. He spent something along the lines of 10$ in this, as a pleasant gesture. That was up untill he found out that his girlfriends cat was neither his girlfriend’s nor a cat. Due to goldfish consumption, Mrs. Hurtzerwielder’s chiuaua (from apartment 176) had passed on to a marginally better place. Sarah (apartment 175) didn’t have too much of a problem with Mr. Snugglefuzzms mysterious demise. The darn dog had been hanging around her door and had scared her cat off. However she did wonder why her boyfriend, Reis, had started calling it "kitty". Since Mr. Snugglefuzzm’s tragic death by goldfish, Reis had a goldfish left over. It was an obscenely large, mottled brown and off-gold-but-not-orange, bloated, vile, malignant looking beast. Reis named it after his ex-girlfriend, Sarah, who had left him when she found out that he accidentally killed her neighbor’s dog stating reasons of "insensitivity toward animals." Well its not like she was sad to see it go. The left over fish was easy to maintain and lived a prolifically long live for a goldfish in such bad conditions. Reis kept in a gallon milk jug, and when it was convenient he dropped crumbled crackers, popcorn or whatever was convenient in to the jug for the fish to eat.

It was no surprise when the thing died. One of Reis’s friends had stopped by, Vince, who never shaved and it was a miracle if he ever wore shoes. He always wore shirts that looked like quilts knitted by a blind grandmother after smoking a great deal of weed. Due to his looks, some people thought he was Jesus, but Vince thought that was stupid. Everyone liked him though be cause he always smelt like a new car, but could offer no explanation for that. It was terribly early when Vince stopped by, around the horribly early hour of 10:00 and pounded on the door. Reis rolled out of bed in a drousy haze and pulled on a pair of faded blue-jeans and a T-shirt he got for free. He lumbered up to the door, and yanked it open. Vince was the first to initiate conversation.

"Reis, I need your car. Mine got towed. Just because it had a little bit of slightly Illegal material. I’ve got to get to work!" Reis’s mind sluggishly started chugging along.

"You work?" The though of Vince in a normal 9-5 job was something Reis could not visualize.

"Well, sorta," meaning no, he didn’t have a job "but I need your car anyway"

"Nope your not touching my car. " Especially not after he just got the dings removed from the last time Vince just walked near the car. "Why don’t you take the bus? What were you trafficking? Drugs?"

"Your shirt is on inside out Reis" So it was… "Hey, I think Sarah is dead!"

"She is, is she…well, well"

"No, the goldfish, look" Vince pointed at the gallon jug. Sure enough, the fish was floating belly-to-the-sun. Reis and Vince approached the gallon jug curiously. Reis leaned in, examining the body. Without any ceremony or theatrics Reis poured the contents of the gallon jug down the toilet and sent the goldfish to the other side of the pipes. Vince picked up the gallon jug.

"I’m going to piss in this till its full, then I’m going to take it down to a 10 year old soccer game and set it down on the sidelines" Vince declared triumphantly, "I’m going to label it ‘lemonade’ and I’m going to sit back and see what happens."

"You, are satan" Reis told Vince, in case he didn’t know

"Nah, satan is in a boy band, Back-Sync or something, or all of them. I, however, just like to cause some organized chaos"

Vince walked out chuckling to himself. Reis stared at the toilet as the water returned to its normal level after the porcelain chariot had swung low and took the goldfish home. Reis remembered another important thing he’d like to do while he was in there, considering he had just woken up.

selwaah

Much of the-one-who-called-himself-selwaah’s life was a blur. He didn’t remember any of his childhood, and had no idea where he had been raised. His memory started with a horrendous lasting suffocation then, when he thought it was over, relief. The area he lived most of his life in was oddly shaped and small. Living there had been a constant struggle. There was nowhere enough oxygen, and food was scare and difficult to digest. But what did not kill him, made him stronger. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah was terrifyingly powerful, for such a small fish. It often times brought him to near death. There was one large entity that the-one-who-called-himself-selwaah had called "the Goer" because when ever it was never around for very long. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah had given the name to himself after the Goer had addressed it in an unknown language apparently titling him "selwaah". The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah sometimes suspected that the container that imprisoned him also distorted sounds as well. He did not hate the Goer. Though he was sure that the Goer had imprisoned him, when he was near death, the Goer would bring him food, however bad it was. However he did not like the Goer either. He was in the worst possible environment ever, he was wallowing in his own filth, suffocating slowly, and forced to drink his own vomit. Untill one day.

The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah was feeling ghastly after many (fish) years in the simi-transparent cage that held him, and the third (fish) month of being attacked by a white fluff that worked to suffocate him, he had nearly passed out, which would mean death. The world started spinning and the-one-who-called-himself-selwaah blacked out just for a second. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah fought to regain conciseness, when he awakened he was floating upside down. Darkness was creaping around the outside of his vision, lights flickered in front of his eyes. Then there was a banging that the-one-who-called-himself-selwaah almost didn’t hear. Then the Goer arrived. There was a great light and there was one who was like to Goer. It spoke in the cryptic tongue of the Goer. The first words from the Goer to the new one sounded like "Yework" So the-one-who-called-himself-selwaah decided that must be the second ones name. It pointed at the-one-who-called-himself-selwaah. Both of them approached the container and looked a long time directly at the-one-who-called-himself-selwaah. This had never happened before, and the-one-who-called-himself-selwaah was terribly scared, and he was feeling the icy grip of death. He fought because that was all he knew to do, he had decided not to give up the battle an eternity ago and now he had forgot how to give-up. Then the world shook as the Goer grabed the cage and everything went into motion. Fortunately the rapid movement of the sludgy water disrupted the white fluff that was strangling the-one-who-called-himself-selwaah, but he didn’y have the energy to move much. And then everything turned downside-up. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah fell a long way and landed with a stunning slam into fresher water. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah enjoyed this immensely, and felt a little better. Then the world collapsed around him and he was pulled into darkness. He was beaten around brutally and thrown into worse suffocation. It was incredible he survived, but the life in the clogged hell had prepared him for the ordeal. With the white fluff off of him now he could breathe, but the water here was worse than the water back in the cell and he had been beaten by the trip. Is this what the Goer had prepared him for. For a sempiternity and moment he fought the many things attacking him as the force of the waters pushed him farther and farther into unknown territory. Untill he was belched out into a suffocating void. He was in a pool of water not large enough to let the-one-who-called-himself-selwaah survive for long, in a shiny cold bowl. He, for the first time, got a look at himself. He was terribly deformed and ugly, yet perfect in an invincible, powerful way. There were many one-who-were-like-the-Goers here. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah decided that the Goer was just one in a large race of Goers. These Goers wore devises over their faced and long white robes with a square devise affixed to the front of the Goer, slightly to the side. The Goers worked diligently with waters held in various tubes. They were mixing the waters together for some odd reason. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah was amazed at the diversity of the Goers, it was mind blowing that there were so many of them, all presumably equal in their awesome power and size. This though consumed the-one-who-called-himself-selwaah for a while. It almost took his mind off the fact that he was suffocating slowly. But it was nothing he hadn’t been through before. He took this time to observe the Goers, and started to learn. He did this for many weeks, taking many mental notes, and thinking. Until one of the Goers poured some type of liquid on him. It burned fierily and caused his skin to do something odd. His whole body twisted and contorted and went through a change. And then the-one-who-called-himself-selwaah uttered a sound from itself. This self the Goers into a paniced frenzy and they grabbed a round container shoved him into it with more burning water and threw him into a white smooth bowl. And he was sucked into darkness again, but this time he was going through a bizarre change.

Kristen

Kristen had an incredible story to tell, she had been working in the lab and Dr. Bronner gave her some chemical cocktail to dispose of. She went to the sink to throw it out but threw it on a goldfish that had somehow gotten into the sink and when the chemical was splashed on it started growing ad changing. Kristen screamed her lungs out, while one of the braver doctors flushed the mutant goldfish down the toilet. She called up everyone she knew to tell them of her harrowing experience. Expecially her best friend, Sarah, who intern called everyone she knew because she couldn’t keep a secret and it was such a good story to tell. Sarah used this as an excuse to call her Ex-boyfriend, who had killed her neighbor’s dog. Sarah called Reis, told him the story and they talked for a while, Reis decided to buy her a cup of coffee on a later date. After talking with Sarah Reis called up Vince, talked about how he had won back his ex, then told him how Sarah’s friend had been attacked by a giant mutant goldfish. Vince told Reis how a little kid had drank all of the urine. Reis told Vince to take a gallon jug of urine and stick it in an inappropriate place. Sideways, preferably. Vince told Reis goodbye. He had some spray paint cans and wanted to exercise his right of artistic expression on the side of a wall. He walked though the darkness for a while, his paint splattered trench coat flapped behind him as he walked. It stared to drizzle a bit. Vince was about to get to work on the side of a software company when he heard a loud sound behind him similar to a cork popping out of a bottle, except louder and more metallic. He spun around, and saw a something jump out of the manhole. The manhole cover landed loudly somewhere. The shape that came toward his wasn’t human, but wasn’t anything else. It burbled what seemed like a sentence at him

"I am the one who calles upon mineself as selwaah, you are being Yework, an Goer, I seek The Goer, who has captated me in the cell for the preparation of me for the changing"

Vince hadn’t had anything like this happen since he was at that party and he drank from that other girl’s glass of beer and went on an acid trip. He might as well try and be nice.

"uh…whats that? Did you say you seek a whore? Who decapitated you for pocket change?"

The thing uttered a strange sound that displayed frustrated anger at incompetence. You hear it at the DMV a lot. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah strode forward into the light. Vince did the manly thing and passed out. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah decided his grotesque appearance would be a problem, so he took the Goer called Yework outer covering. It was sufficiently large enough to cover his near-shapeless form. He took the Goers head covering to obscure his face. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah found than the Goer called Yework had 2 containers that when activated, changed the color of objects. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah used this on himself to attempt to match the color of the Goers face. Close enough. The one who was called Yework awoke.

"What the hell!? What? Who? You!" It was terribly disheartening to learn that the Goers were so incompetent. Or perhaps not. Perhaps this was an act, to further prepare him for his destiny. Perhaps that is why the Goer was conveniently nearby.

The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah decided that the Goer must be the next step in his training for whatever it is he is being trained for.

"Goer, you shall prepare me for the act that shall be my destiny."

"what?! you want me to teach you?!, damn man..."

Learn

There were 2 things that the-one-who-called-himself-selwaah could do better than all other things. He could fight, and he did, for he did not know how to do anything else. But better than the fighting he could learn, he observed and learned, that is how he learned to fight and all other things he did. The Goer called Yework was actually called "Vince" and there was more to the Goers world than the-one-who-called-himself-selwaah ever suspected. According to The-one-who-called-himself-vince the world above the darkness was run by evilness that was out to suppress the good people and it was the duty of a chosen few to undermine this evil caled "Government" the-one-who-called-himself-vince seemed mysterious and was not a fighter. He chose to run at the signs of trouble, despite this The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah learned much.

The Prophesy

Until one day when The-man-who-has-many-names (The-one-who-called-himself-vince had called this person by many names. When The-man-with-many-names came it was always with much fanfare, and flashing blue and red lights and loud noises. The-one-who-called-himself-vince called this man many names, "cop", "police", "pigs", and many others. He always fled The-one-who-called-himself-vince fled from then. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah learned that most Goers had many names, sometimes The-one-who-called-himself-vince would say that sometimes he is called "satan") when they arrived The-one-who-called-himself-vince ran into a dark alleyway, The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah attempted to follow but could not find The-one-who-called-himself-vince. after wandering along time through the maze like streets, The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah stumbled upon a large building when many Goers were gathered together, and there was one in the front of them all, talking to them all. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah snuck lowly into a back row of this, eager to learn the purpose of this.

"-and I say to you, my brothers, there is a vile corrupter out there, and many follow him. He is the one that will bring us down. he is slowly killing our children and destroying our familys! My congregation, TV is the work…of satan! It invades our houses and capture the mind of our children, it is eating at their souls, the only thing that will stop this evil is the Light of our savior! praise the lord, please turn to number 175 in the blue hymnal…"

The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah stood up and left. The-one-who-called-himself-vince was also called satan. The-one-who-called-himself-vince-who-was-also-called-satan had trained him in the ways of the world therefore he must be the work of satan. He must be what the Goers in the assembly area called a "TV". Therefore it must be his destiny to bring down the evil ones the-one-who-called-himself-vince talked about by stealing the minds of their children and eating their souls. The last part confused him a bit, apparently he had to go turn number 175. He stepped out onto the street, turned to the right, and looked down the darkened street. he walked for a while into a large building and looked at a "directory". There is where he found what he was looking for: 175. The prophesy must be fulfilled.

About Time

Reis was in the vitally important task of taping a pay-per-view movie while at the same time watching a re-run of "Who wants to wrestle with a psychic millionaire against attacking animals during a riot caught on tape III" on FOX with his new VCR and reading a consumer reports when he got a call. It was his ex-ex-girlfriend. After Kristen’s traumatic experience with the mutant fish, Reis had shown his caring side and Sarah decided she loved him again. Reis wanted to talk but Sarah had a more pressing issue at hand. Apparently a funny looking fellow who thinks hes a TV was trying to break into Sarahs apartment. "In accordance with the prophesy". The VCR would automatically finish recording the movie. This was the perfect time for him to be chivalrous, all he had to do was go over there and beat some crazy bum upside the head and BAM! He’s her hero. Easy. But just in case the bum was high on crack or something and might put up a fight then he might need someone around as back-up. He called Vince. The phone rang 17 times and Vince picked up and answered with his usual politeness.

"What?! Talk!"

"Vince, this is Reis, look dude, some crazy guy is trying to break into sarah’s apartment and I’m going over there beat the snot out of him, meet me there, I might need back-up"

"Are you crazy man? That guy might be on my PCP…I mean he might have gotten PCP from someone and then you could, like, not hurt him! I’m not risking my life for you!"

"Show up anyway"

"As long as I’m not the one being beat to a bloody pulp"

"Whatever"

Reis hung up and put on his coat and walked out, grabbing his extra large 5 C-cell Mag-lite.

Reis was about 5 minutes from Sarah’s place. It took 2 minutes from the time Reis called Vince for the mysterious intruder to get impatient trying to explain the prophesy to Sarah tear her door off the hinges and toss it at least 18 seconds away. Sarah was cowering in the middle of her floor, when the intruder walked in. A very tall very heavy built man walked in wearing a paint splattered trench coat and a fishing hat. He must have been wearing a mask because his face sorta looked like a goldfish. He stormed into the room shouting.

"I am TV! Where are your children! I must steal their minds! I must eat their souls!"

Vince was only 2.1 minutes away, when he learned that he was going to be able to see a good fight he rushed over. He peeked his head through the door of Sarah’s apartment and saw the back of a paint splattered trench coat. The guy turned around and Sarah looked like she might explode with joy-someone had came to save her.

"Ah, The-one-who-is-called–vince-and-also-satan, I have discovered my destiny!"

"what?!" It was the crazy guy who hung out with him the past few nights. The guy picked Vince up as if he was nothing and effortlessly pitched him into the corner of the room. Reis was going to die if he tried to fight this guy. And why did he keep referring to people like that? It was annoying.

"you must help me to find the childrens of the 175, and I must take their minds, and eat their soul’s, this is my destiny. Yes?"

"whatever" Vince didn’t know, its always best to agree with crazy people.

It took Reis another 2.5 minutes to arrive, which gave the big guy enough time to take the ment out of apartment, So that it was just plain apart. When he was done turning the apartment upside down he turned to Sarah. Vince sat in the corner and watched. This was more interesting than "Who wants to wrestle with a psychic millionaire against attacking animals during a riot caught on tape III" on FOX.

"Where are you children?!" demanded The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah.

"I don’t have any children, I’m not even married. Please don’t hurt me." Sarah stammered, choking back tears, realizing that Vince would be no help.

The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah was a bit set-off. How could the 175 not have children? The prophecy couldn’t be wrong? Could it? No. Surely this female must be one of the evil ones that The-one-who-called-himself-vince said were out to stop them. He was the TV, possibly the last in a long line of warriors, it was his duty to find her children, take their minds, and eat their souls. He must question his teacher

"one-who-is-called-vince-and-is-called-satan, is this one of the evil ones you spoke of? She is my foe? I shall slay her, yes?"

Vince didn’t care what happened to her.

"yea sure, whatever." Whatever trips you trigger. Sarah looked at Vince with stomped puppy-eyes and made a sound best described as "kitty in a blender" signaling that she had lost all hope. Then something cold and heavy knocked The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah’s hat off, he sunk off to one side in a surprising amount of pain.

"About Time!" Sarah yelled at Reis who had appeared in the doorway with his mag-lite, half happy to see him and half angry at him that he didn’t show up earlier. Reis flashed his chick-catcher smile and twirled the mag-lite around in his hand. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah spunaround and removed the trench coat. He whiped it around and used it as a weapon to knock Reis into the wall. Without any covering The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah saw no reason to be clandestine about it anymore. He rose to his full height of 4.8 meters. It lowered its head under the low ceiling. It felt goo to stretch a bit. It picked up Reis and pinned him to the wall. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah looked at Reis the same way Reis had looked at it before flushing it down the toilet.

Mrs. Hurtzerwielder

Reis was staring into the bug eyes of the illicit love-child of a goldfish, a octopus, and a Swiss army knife. His mag-lite was on the floor and even if he had it, it didn’t seem to phase this thing. It appeared that Vince was in cahoots with this thing. The thing started to say something. It was interrupted by an old lady who Neither Reis nor the Thing had noticed.

"hey" the lady said feebly "you’re the whippersnapper that killed Mr. Snugglefuzzms" It was a frail old white-haired lady leaning on a cane, with a bag of groceries.

"Oh! Hi Mrs. Hurtzerwielder Forgive and forget, right? Why don’t you go and call the police or get a shot gun or something, because in case you didn’t notice, a biological mistake has wrecked my girlfriends apartment and I think its about to swallow me, so if you don’t mind…"

Mrs. Hurtzerwielder interrupted by taking her cane and clubbing Reis’s shin with it and telling him what he was by using a popular 4-lettered word and sticking –er after it.

"agggghhhhh" Reis screamed in pain, not only was she not friendly, that old lady was pretty strong "c’mon Mrs. Hurtzerwielder don’t be childish" Reis pleaded with the bitter old hag. Meanwhile The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah had a revelation. So this odd looking white haired thing was acting in a childish manner. So if it acted like a child, and looked like a child (The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah recalled that children were quite small) there fore this one-who-was-called-Mrs. Hurtzerwielder must be a child, and it was his duty to steal it’s mind, and eat its soul. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah threw the original Goer (Reis) over across the room, Reis skidded and came to a stop just past his girlfriend, who gave him a crushing hug. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah leaped at the white-haired child who was not fast enough to escape. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah opened his mouth wide and swallowed the person whole. While The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah was choking down the old lady Reis had ample time to get his mag-lite back and decide he needed a better weapon. The apartment was a mess. The bed was everywhere and the couch was ribbons now and the walls had been smashed around. There was a halogen lamp lying on its side near some fabrics, probably the remains of a sheet or maybe wallpaper. Reis had read in the consumer reports that halogen lamps were very dangerous, especially the tall ones. The bulb got incredibly hot and would cause nearby objects to burst into flames. The Halogen lamp could be terrible dangerous and could bodily injury. Now, what could Reis use as a weapon?

The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah struggled to swallow the child. It struggled hard and beat him upside the head with its walking stick. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah was used to choking down horrible food though and it swallowed the child, then it turned to the goers and the 175.

"The child, I have stolen its mind and eaten its soul!" The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah proclaimed "Have I fulfilled the prophesy or must I destroy the vile 175…yes I must destroy all my foes" Vince like the way it answered itself.

Open fire

Sarah wasn’t forming coherent sentances but Reis got the over all idea. Apparently Vince was somehow telling the goldfish/octopus/swiss army knife from the black lagoon what to do, the creature thought it was a TV and was going to kill Sarah. Reis looked at Sarah, looked and Vince. Scanned around the apartment looking for a weapon, pausing at the Halogen lamp, which was very hot and could cause great injury. Sarah could return it to the store for a refund.

The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah was very happy with his success, the prophesy was on its way to being fulfilled. He was evidently the last in a long line of warriors. The original goer seemed to be protecting the 175 though. This was odd. The-one-called-Vince must certainly know.

"One-who-is-called-Vince, what shall I do? The original goer seems to be allied with the 175? Is he my foe also? Why would he join with the evil ones?"

Vince didn’t really care what happened to Reis, since once he was out of the picture, Vince could take his car. And Vince ever got any from Sarah so she might as well be fish food too.

"sure" Vince settled into a chunk of couch for the show. "they are both bad guys, don’t just eat them, tear off their legs and arms too."

That was a lot. Apparently you had to do certain things to properly kill a goer. But the original goer, bad? This most perplexed The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah, there was nothing in the prophecy about that, but then again, there might have been more.

Reis looked at Vince stunned. He didn’t expect this, Vince woulden’t do that to his friend. No…this was exactly the type of thing that Vince would do. Reis had had enough of it. He leaped at Vince and planted a fist in Vince’s jaw, or at least where the jaw would be, Vince was too hairy to precisely locate bones. Reis wasn’t a fighter, but neither was Vince, but Vince’s hobby of being a criminal had made him tougher that Reis. Vince viewed fighting like a card game. Vince saw Reis’ right hook and raised him a knee to the stomach. Reis took a lot of the punishment dealt by Vince and threw in a few of his own cards by punching Vince square in the eye and backhanding him. Reis had actually graduated college so he had a class ring, a weapon that Vince didn’t have.

The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah watched as the two goers exchanged blows, wondering what was going on. Why were the two goers that had molded him into what he was today fighting? The original goer rolled back and yelled at him

"fishman! Vince is a bad guy, he is the enemy! Kill! Kill! Kill!"

"No!" Shouted the-one-who-is-called-Vince. " Kill Reis! I never liked him anyway! And his Girlfriend! She’s a whore!"

Which one was good? The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah was terribly confused.

Reis wasn’t, he knew exactly what was going on. He had had enough of Vince. It was hurting time now. Reis grabbed the halogen lamp and shoved the light-producing business end into Vinces’ face. As expected Vince’s oily locks burst into flame.

"Take a bath one and a while you greasy freak!!"

Vince screamed and leaped through a hole in the wall and into the bathroom. When he extinguished his face by dunking it in the toilet. He stayed like that for a while, Reis was starting to think he drowned (fitting death, right where he belongs) until his hopes were dashed when Vince sprang up and spun around, seared and medium rare. His nappy long hair had been burned away, along with his beard and eyebrows. He stood there, looking like a enraged hamburger for a while, in total silence. The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah pondered the-one-who-was-called-Vince’s transformation. Sarah punched through the wall of silence first.

"Hey! It’s the guy from TV!" She shouted. Sure enough, without the hair, Vince was the guy from "Who wants to wrestle with a psychic millionaire against attacking animals during a riot caught on tape III" on FOX!

Enlightenment

The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah was confused, how was the-one-called-vince also one that came from TV? Wasn’t The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah TV? Wait! Perhaps he had it all wrong. The-one-called-Vince was also called Satan, and TV came from satan. The prophecy said that satan had many followers, and he had followed the-one-called-vince-and-also-satan. TV comes from satan, and the-one-who-was-called-vince-and-also-satan had turned into something different, the 175 had said that it was TV.The TV invades houses, and the-one-who-was-called-vince had certainly done that and shown him how. And the last part of the prophecy… Was he the savior that was destined to stop the TV? If he was, he would have to stop the-one-who-was-called-vince-and-also-satan-and-now-had-become-TV with his light. He didn’t have a light. That must be why the original goer was here, to stop him from messing up the prophecy. the-one-who-was-called-vince-and-also-satan-and-now-had-become-TV had been manipilating him all the time. That’s was it. It was hurting time now.

"I need a light! Give me a light!" The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah commanded.

"aaaaaawwwww" Groaned Vince, "This is no time for a smoke! just kill Reis! Do it!" Vince pressed his hands over his fried face.

"No more of your lies!" The-one-who-called-himself-selwaah shouted, the would now allow the TV to manipulate him any longer. He grabbed the light producing staff from the original goer reared back flung it javelin style into the one-who-was-Vince-but-was-now-TV with all his strength. It cleanly removed Vince’s head, continued through the wall into Mrs. Hurtzerwielder’s now vacant apartment, through another wall, took out a caged parakeet named Harry, went through another wall, into the bathroon, through the wall again, disrupted a family of four’s dinner by removing the turkey from the table, and ended by getting lodged in their couch. Total body count: 1 Vince, 1 Parakeet named Harry, 4 walls, 1 couch, 1 butterball turkey (overcooked).

Reis looked at his girlfriend. She had passed out. Reis looked over at the now headless Vince. Serves him right. Reis looked at the goldfish/octopus/swiss army knife from the black lagoon that had just swiched sides. The Fish-man looked back.

" I have completed my destiny Goer! The TV had me tricked for a while but I have outwitted it, the prophecy is complete! What shall I do now? You are my true teacher now. "

Now what was Reis going to do with a strange fish creature what seemed to be completely subservient to him now? Reis had an idea, it involved long lines and changing admission and getting rich, quick.