Killing Theodore
Or,
A Comprehensive Teaching Method for Dealing with Problematic Situations
"It’s always sad when something like this happens" Erin McLean said. She had been teaching for a year, and she’d never had to make a speech like this. In fact, the little time she had been teaching, her class never changed size in this way. She leaned on the podium, unsure of how the other students in her 4th grade classroom would handle it. They probably never had to go through something like this. She never had to at that age, of course it was different for her. She pushed some of her amber hair out of her face. She had pushed it all up into a bun, because she didn’t feel like doing anything to it, nervous about the speech today. Thanks to overcrowding the classroom was fairly over-studented. There was one seat empty, right in front of her. Erin toyed with the pocked of her armless blue-jean dress, with school related patches sewn on. The red shirt under it had a stain on it and a hole in it, but the dress covered it, and the students didn’t know that it was the same shirt from yesterday, due to stress from having to explain things to the kids.
"Death doesn’t care who you are, and…" That wasn’t a good beginning. She wished she had Mr. Triptweeze to talk to the class instead of her. He was a smoother speaker. She started again.
"We shouldn’t let…this shouldn’t slow us down from learning and having fun. I’m…I’m sure Ted would want us to start off where we left off." She looked around the classroom. All the kids were locked onto her, snapping every one of her words out of the air before the heavy words could fall to the ground. Erin didn’t become a teacher for this, having to interrupt her class.
"Ted is just like you…" No, damnit! That was the wrong thing to say, "…Ted’s family and friends are probably very sad, like most of your friends are, and your parents…" What exactly was she trying to impart to her students. She forgot her training, all her years of college, ‘Get to the point Erin’ her teacher would say, and Erin would try. Clearly conveying ideas was not her strong point. She looked around the classroom. Again. A student broke her awkward silence with a blistering question.
"Why did Ted have to die?" Erin stared at the kid.
"Ted isn’t a bad kid…" Did she just say isn’t? She started again "Ted died… passed away in a car wreck, a drunk driver hit him…" Erin felt a lump rise from her stomach, ready to transform into embarrassing hot tears at the thought of a little kid in a car wreck. "He wasn’t wearing his seatbelt" She looked at the spotless white sheet of paper in front of her to make sure her facts were right, half hoping that it would have changed somehow, and she wouldn’t have to do this.
"You should always wear your seatbelt," The kid said, then a little girl piped up.
"I’ll have to tell him that when I see him" she said. Erin took a huge breath and exhaled.
"Yes…I suppose you will" Erin started again "Ted was smart and…" there was a timid knock on the door. Erin walked over and opened it, there was a little black boy standing outside with his book bag, looking nervous.
"Hello Ted" Erin said. Erin ushered him in and directed him to the empty seat. Now that he was here it was slightly easier.
"You should all treat Ted the same was you’d treat any of your friends, he’s just like you" Erin told the class of mostly white kids. She’d felt put out when she died and came here, just because she was of Jewish ethnicity, and didn’t want that to happen to any other student, it would tear her heart up, even more than the butcher who killed her.
"Don’t be mean to Ted just because he’s different from you, the color of skin doesn’t matter, anymore, Ted is dead, just like all of you." Erin looked out, smiling, across the class, lots of white faces, some fresh, most not anymore, Erin had gotten used to the smell. She had pledged as a teacher to teach no matter what. She was still teaching, because death should be no reason to deny anyone an education, and not a reason to stop teaching.