Arrrr!! So you be wantin' to play Cute Boy Island!! Well, I'll make this fast, so that you can return to your lives and I can return to Scooby Doo, who just ate hotdogs through his ears. Cannibal, cannibal!! Arrrr. This game be easy. It's all in the mind.
Think of an island. One with an adequate water supply and lots of food, like fruits and those piggies in The Lord of the Flies. Not the boy, the real piggies. Now follow these steps, and have fun. There's no trick to it, it's just a simple trick. Wow, it's like you've known me my entire life.
1. You've thought of an island, now think of a climate and approximate size. I personally favor the 70's, though both the decade and the miniseries were excruciating. Degreewise, the 70's are great for all sorts of froo-froo clothing. Though velvet is not too practical for pig hunting. I prefer rubber or vinyl, blood comes off easily. Don't make your island too large, or your magical fantasy becomes a Brady Bunch rerun. Or was that in the Grand Canyon? Oh yeah, Greg was cursed by the Tikki god in Hawaii and Bobby was lost in the canyon.
2. Pick ten things you can't live without. You will get them indefinitely, so girls, don't forget the PRODUCT...AAAAAAAH!! Batteries are always good, especially for cd players, etc. You might as well be stranded in style. Things like cds and books count as one item. What the Hell, I thought I'd be generous. Bring shampoo and other stuff, so's you ain't stinky. I assume these items will wash ashore every month. Come on, it doesn't really matter.
3. The tasty part. You will be stranded with 10, one for each finger, cute boys. I realize that not everyone will agree on who is cute, but some who play with their friends (naughty, naughty, you should only play with yourself) may find themselves arguing over some of them. Two major points of contention between me and my friends were Jhonen Vasquez and Mike Nelson. Of Squee and MST3K, respectively. Then we realized that it wasn't real, and Mike Nelson is married anyway. So maybe they were cloned and there's plenty of them to go around. You can use people who are made up, like characters in a book, movie, or tv show.
4. Make sure they're not gay, unless you're a boy in which case make sure they're gay. Unless you're straight, in which case you should rethink your orientation because you are trying to play CUTE BOY ISLAND. Aaar, thar be butt pirates, aaaar.
5. Live happily ever after. And bring a toothbrush.
