I HATE CLONES
Yesterday, walking to work, I saw a bunch of giggly girls at the mall. While this is nothing new, I happened to notice they were all wearing the same shirt. On it was emblazoned the scary symbol of a pre-fab, bubblegum, pop boy band. I have long hated these groups, the only good song to ever come out of such a group was Saturday Night by the Bay City Rollers, who got their dubious talent from plaid. There had been a quiet tradition of boy bands since then, I lived through both NKOTB and Menudo. But they died as they usually do, with deepening voices, facial hair, and nocturnal emissions. As soon as these boys become sexual beings in a "may have actual genitalia not just a plastic Ken doll pouch kinda way" they disband (or are replaced by yet another carbon copy squeaky voiced eunuch). But for some reason, perhaps low test scores, boy bands are sprouting up everywhere. They even made TV shows about them, exposing (though not meaning to) how their creation and rise to stardom is more choreographed than your average ballet. This should have given the fans a clue as to how they were obviously being condescended to and manipulated. It didn't, and once again we are left to wonder how they figure out how to even get their pants on.
It is also ridiculous that these bands are now even beginning to take themslves seriously. It makes me wonder where a good 'ol flesh eating bacteria is when you need one when the grammys are on. I'd say the only thing I can admire in theses bands is that they still can go on singing even though they suck. That takes balls. Though they must feel virile 'cause they are lusted after by 10 yr. old girls. Hey, flip'em over and they're little boys!! Of course, this is disgusting, but so is singing something romantic to a pre-teen.
These clones, (I can't tell them apart, or their "music", and I use the term loosely) and their followers represent what's wrong with music. Every last drop of originality has been squeezed out of pop (there wasn't much to begin with). They are also the reason many animals eat their young.
