I can't believe I have to even write one of these, but apparently I do. So here goes.
My theories are, for the main part, entirely f-a-l-s-e. They are the product of my own sick brain, and just because I choose to believe them does not mean that you have to believe them. If you don't like them, fine. Don't read them. It's called humour, people. Or humor, as I believe the Americans like to spell it. But whatever, it's all good. So don't bitch to me if I take the piss out of your favourite celebrity, your favourite book... or you.