Susie's POV
I felt so weird- so loose, so disconnected. I heard Joel's voice, as if from over a great distance.
"I can be sensitive!"
"Just because you're gay," said Benji, and I could hear the smirk in his voice.
"I am not gay. I am bisexual. It just so happens that the love of my life is a man. I have been with women before. Alright?!"
"Whatever, dude. Too much information."
Their voices were slowly becoming clearer. Gradually, I opened my eyes.
Oh great, I thought. I'm gonna have to say one of the worst, most clich�d lines in the history of the world. Might as well get it over with.
"Where am I?"
It was astonishing, the reaction that was provoked. Suddenly, five faces loomed above mine; tired faces, showing relief, shock, joy and anger... Joel in particular looked as though he wanted to shake me.
And at that moment, I really didn't know why. I had no clue where I was and what I was doing there.
But when Paul said, "Susie, you're in hospital.. I called 911 and then I called the guys..." the memory of what I had done smashed into me with the force of a 30-foot tidal wave and I began to cry the tears I'd been repressing for over three days. I cried out my pain, my uncertainty, my fear, my loneliness. I couldn't stop crying- even when Paul tried to lean over and hug me (he couldn't, the drip got in his face and then I pushed him away). I couldn't even stop when the nurse came in and ordered everyone out- much to their disgust. I just kept weeping and weeping, alone in the darkened hospital room.
Paul's POV
It was awful. Especially when we were waiting for an ambulance and Susie just passed right out, in my arms. The guys all insisted on coming to the hospital, and we sat in her room and waited for her to wake up. When she did she cried and cried and none of us could stop her. Each tear made my heart feel as though it was being wrenched out slowly, so I was actually slightly relieved when a nurse ordered us out. I told the guys to go home, but Benji wouldn't leave her; and Joel wouldn't leave without Benji, and Billy wouldn't leave without Joel; and Chris wouldn't go on his own. So we all sat on the plastic waiting room chairs. And waited. And waited.
Susie's POV
They sent a psychiatrist to see me. What the fuck?! I'd always been Sensible Susie. Put-Together Susie. Not the kind of person who sees a psychiatrist. I answered her questions politely but guardedly, letting nothing out. Eventually she got frustrated and asked me more directly.
"Why did you do it?"
I stared her straight in the eyes. "I don't know."
"Susie, I can help you, but you need to open up to me."
I don't need your help, I thought. I just want to see my best friend. "I'm fine," I told her. "I wanna go home."
"I can't let you go home unless I think you won't do it again. Will you do it again, Susie?"
"If I stay here, yes!" I screamed, breaking down completely. I leaped out of bed -luckily some kind person had brought my clothes and I'd already changed into them- and pulled out my drip, before attempting to leave the room. The bitch caught me around the waist and yelled, "Security!"
"No!" I shrieked. "Let me go! Let me go!"
Paul's POV
The guys had all fallen asleep, one by one. They looked so peaceful, all dreaming of somewhere else, somewhere nice hopefully... We were just be-ing there, outside the room, when I heard this godawful screaming. "Security!", or some such shit. The first thought to flit through my mind was that some local psycho had escaped- then my brain caught up with me and I remembered- this is Waldorf, some shitty little town, it doesn't have a psycho unit. Then my brain caught up some more- and I realised that the screaming was a) coming from Susie's room and b) had been joined by Susie's own screams. I ran in there and saw the weirdest scene ever. Susie was being restrained by some forbidding-looking woman. What the hell?! Susie, who never got in trouble- not because she was a good little girl but because she could talk her way out of things. It didn't even cross my mind that Susie needed to be restrained or anything. My heart just went out to her, and all I wanted to do was to get her out of there. I picked up her bag, ran towards the woman- which shocked her so much that she let go of Suse- and me and Suse ran out of there, past the rest of the guys who were still in semi-sleep. Past the lift guard and down three flights of stairs. Out past the reception desk. Into the open air and across the tarmac. Across Waldorf. And then over the common until we both collapsed onto the grass from sheer exhaustion.
Susie's POV
Paul dashed into my room and 'rescued' me. It all happened so fast that I couldn't think. We just ran and ran, and I felt like I was flying. Like I'd been trapped in some kind of cage and now I was free, and I just ran out and began to soar, on my wings which I'd never used before.
Paul's POV
We lay there on the grass for a while, panting and laughing and shaking our heads. It just felt so strange that sixteen hours before I'd been trying to clean up this beautiful girl's blood, and now she was lying on the ground next to me laughing so hard that I was afraid she was gonna break something inside of her.
Susie's POV
I don't know why I felt so happy, so alive. Probably because that hospital was so dark, and it smelt of death, and just to be outside on a surprisingly warm January day, breathing in the cold air... I didn't know how I could possibly have wanted to give that up, the feeling of being out of breath and trying so hard to fill your lungs... and watching as your exhalation turned into misty clouds... and smelling slightly damp grass... and, for some strange unknown reason, laughing your guts out as you do so.
Paul raised himself up on one elbow and looked down at me as I laughed. "Suse..." he whispered. And it was like a magic charm, stilling the air around us. I stopped laughing, the traffic's roar seemed to dim down, and the grass ceased rustling. There was just me and Paul, and a calmness encircling us, understanding and pure.
He leant down and kissed my lips, soft as air. For a split second I felt nothing... then it all rushed into me, love and affection and the feeling of being loved in return, as I began to kiss him back. And it didn't feel strange anymore, it felt right, like the most natural thing ever. I forgot everything... I forgot the entire past week, I forgot what I did, I forgot where we were... all I could think about was how comforting it felt to have his arms around me and his familiar smell and yet how new, how exciting too... I think I could have spent an eternity there, just me and him...
But all good things have to come to an end.