Paul's POV
I stared down at Susie's scarred wrist. Shit. I'd known she was depressed, but nothing as bad as this. "Fucking hell," I said under my breath. "Susie, how could you do this?"
"Why the fuck do you care?" she asked, in a voice that was nearer a hiss. Oh, Susie, don't even open that can of worms. Why do I care? Because I love you, I love you I always have and always will... But the words didn't come out of my mouth. Instead I mumbled something about her being my best friend.
"Paul, you're my best friend too," she said, in a softer tone. "But, look, about this. It doesn't matter. These are old anyway, and I... I'm alright, you don't have to worry about me. You worry about stuff like GC and your life, OK? Don't worry about me."
Susie's POV
I lied to him- I lied desperately. I told him they were a month old, which I could tell he didn't believe, but he didn't push that one, thank God. I told him I was alright. I told him that a survey showed that 60% of people cut during their lifetime (I don't know why I told him that- I guess I was just trying to make it seem like not a big deal, so I made up some stupid survey), but he REALLY didn't believe that.
I don't know why he was trying to make such a big thing of it all. I wasn't trying to kill myself or anything. It was just something that I did when I was angry and stressed and needed something to take my mind off what I was feeling inside. I'd always done it, since highschool, and I was good at hiding it (usually), wearing long sleeves in winter and cuffs and stuff in summer. And, to me, Paul was just trying to blow it up, and I wasn't in the mood because I was tired (yeah, I didn't get much sleep the night before, as you can imagine), and I still had this fat hangover. You can't blame me for snapping.
"Oh FUCK OFF!" I screamed at Paul. "It's still MY FUCKING LIFE as far as I can tell! Just leave me alone! Who DIED and made you GOD or something?! Can't you just LEAVE WELL ENOUGH alone!! GOD Paul I hate you sometimes! Why don't you know when to STOP!" And I ran off to my room, locking myself inside. I didn't hate him, of course I didn't, I just wanted him off my back.
Paul's POV
I sat there for about five minutes, in total shock. Susie's usually not a confrontational person. I just wanted to help her. I didn't have a clue what to do now- I've never been faced with something like this before.
Suddenly, I remembered something. I remembered Benji's alcoholism and how he got put on antidepressants to help him cope. And although I couldn't talk to Benji- I might well have smashed his face in, the way I was feeling- I could talk to the person who knew him best. Joel.
Susie's POV
I was in a shocking rage by now. I heard Paul leave the house- slamming the door behind him. I wondered briefly where he was going, then decided that I didn't care as he had no respect for my privacy. Yeah, Paul, maybe there's stuff I hide from you, deal with it, I thought savagely. idontcareidontcareidontcare. I wrote it out on a piece of paper, pushing so hard that the pen eventually broke. This made me angry beyond belief, I don't know why. I screamed in frustration and put some Slipknot on, loud. If I was angry, the whole damn neighbourhood could be angry with me. I didn't feel like cutting so I just lay on my bed and screamed along, screaming my heart out:
"What the hell am I doing? Is there anyone left in my life? What the fuck was I thinking? Anybody want to tell me I'm fine? Where the hell am I going? Do I even need a reason to hide? I am only betrayed, I am only conditioned to die!"
Author's Note: I do not own the Slipknot song, Everything Ends. I mean, I own the CD, but not the lyrics.