As they gossip, I try to concentrate on my work, but I can't. We've been set a project on the theme of 'From Beginning to End', and I decided to do a series of portraits about the life of a woman, starting with a painting of her pregnant mother, then her as a baby, then different stages in her life until one of her on her deathbed. Except that last week I was halfway through the 'Baby' painting and I have to finish it today. So I have to think about babies. Which makes me think about my baby, growing inside of my pregnant girlfriend. Oh help.
"Billy! Are you listening?" Mara's voice jolts me out of my reverie.
"Huh? Wha?" I murmur. Oh, so articulate, Martin.
"We were just wondering where you and Jess were in registration," says Sarah.
"Yeah, and some kids were saying something happened in Physics..." prods Mara, not-so-subtly.
"Uh, I... I haven't seen Jess," I say, hoping this will be the end of the conversation. Of course, it isn't, girls are like that. Mara flicks her silky hair and gives me a look.
I don't want to tell them anything, and I do a pretty good job of keeping my mouth shut, although I don't get much artwork done. When the bell signalling hometime rings, I leap out of my seat and make it out of class in record time, wanting to get away from it all, get away from the school building that suddenly seems so menacing. My emotions are all swirling inside me so violently that I think I might be sick.
I run smack dab into a lamppost and lie on the ground for half-a-minute, staring at the 'Merry Christmas!' banner hung jauntily from it. Jeez, it's two weeks until Christmas.
When I get home, my mother is screaming down the phone. Oh fuck. Not again.
"I can't believe I gave you the best years of my life, you fucking bastard! Who's that... oh, Billy!"
Oh my God. I am in shock!! I have never heard my mother swear before, even when dealing with my father, her ex-husband.
"Take the phone. It's your wayward dad," she hisses at me. "I'm going to lie down upstairs."
With that, she flounces off. I know she's not really pissed off at me, but I guess part of me is my dad. When she looks at me or my little sister, she can see his legacy in our faces, in our hair, in our eyes... we share his bloodline.
I pick up the phone. "Dad?"
"Son!" booms my dad. Like Mr Pirit, he is incapable of talking quietly. "How're you doing?"
I'm in no mood for idle chit-chat. Fucking small-talk.
"Crap, thanks Dad. Is there anything important you wanted to say, or can I go and do my homework now?"
"I just wanted to talk to my only son!" retorts Dad, hurt. Good. Whatever, I don't care anymore.
"Yeah, your only son, who you love so much that you left him to shack up with some slut!" I scream, hurting so bad inside that I feel like I could shatter into a thousand pieces.
"Don't talk to me like that, William Martin. I did not leave you. I love you, I wanna be a part of your life and..."
His calmness only serves to infuriate my jangled nerves even further.
"No, you were always a crap father! I would never leave my children, I'm gonna be a great father. I'm gonna stick with my kid all the way through, I'll be there for it from the second it's born! I..."
"Billy, what are you saying? Are you... is your girlfriend..."
I hang up on him and call Jessica to stop him calling me back. Her mother, who thinks I'm wonderful, answers the phone.
"Jessy's not in, honey. I actually thought she might have been with you. She came home early from school and ran out again. I can't reach her on her cell and I'm getting kind of worried, I've been ringing everywhere and I can't find her. You've been engaged and I... I just don't know where she is, honey, I..."
It takes me a while to get Mrs Abbott off the phone. I finally accomplish this by promising to look for Jessica. I hang up on Mrs Abbott and try Jess's cellphone. It's turned off, which is really unusual. Her mom got it for her as a special present and it's usually not very far from her.
Dammit. I should go look for her, right? But I can't walk around Waldorf in this freezing weather. So I ring the twins- they've got a rusty old van which I'm sure they'll lend me.
Five minutes later, Joel drives up outside the house.
"Hop in, lil' Billy!" he calls.
"Oh, Joel! I only wanted to borrow the car. You don't have to drive me," I say.
"Yeah, but you only have a provisional licence. I don't want you getting hurt. And, uh, Benji promises death if you scratch it. So it's probably best this way."
"Okay, then. Where do you think she'll be?" I ask, getting in.
"Try the mall?" suggests Joel.
So we search there. And the playground (where we come across Paul and one of our friends, Susie. Neither of them have seen Jess). And we search the cinema. And everywhere Jessica could possibly be. Eventually we have to admit defeat.
"Thanks anyway, Joel. You're my new best friend. I can't believe you actually gave up your evening to do this for me."
"I'd do anything for you, dear, anything!" Joel carolls as he drives off.
I rush up to the front door and, in the dark, stumble across something lying on the doorstep.
The dark figure looks up at me. The motion-sensitive porch light snaps on.
Jessica. Her jeans are smeared with blood and she looks more frightened than I have ever seen her.
