Chapter 07


When they reached the door, they stopped. Joel hauled himself out of his chair.

"Jo..." Benji started. Joel cut him off.

"Please, Benji, I need to tell her that I love her, and I need to do it alone; now."

Benji nodded, understanding his twin better than anyone ever could. Joel pushed open the door and walked in. The doctor looked up at him.

"Are you Joel?" Joel nodded.

"She's very ill," continued the doctor, "but she's been asking for you, so... Just make it quick." Ignoring the doctor, Joel walked up to Serrie's bedside.

"Ser... my... I..."

"Shut up Joel." Every word spoken seemed to cause Serrie pain. She was breathing in an uneven, jagged way.

"Joel... I love you... I always will. I... I couldn't live without you... but I couldn't live in sin with you either... this seemed the... the only way out. I'm sorry..."

Serrie took a deep breath, then her eyes closed and her body deflated. A machine started beeping; two doctors rushed in and frantically started trying to revive her. Joel was frozen to the spot; his mouth unable to scream out the words he needed Serrie to hear. They had never told each other, "I love you," before.

It all happened so quickly. One of the doctors said, "I'll pronounce her death," and he did. He left the room and the other doctor said to Joel, "You'll have to come with me, now." Joel turned and ran, bursting out of the door and nearly knocking poor Billy over. However, he was still weak and collapsed halfway down the corridor. When Benji caught up with him, he was still sobbing, "I love you... I love you... I love you and you never got to hear it, you died not knowing..."

Benji pulled his twin to his feet and held him tight, letting him sob it out, like Billy had done for Benji.

Benji felt so guilty. Had he inadvertedly wished for this? And now his twin was in pain, and Benji felt it too, but he knew he had to be strong, he had to be the older twin and support Joel just like Joel had always supported him in the past.

Joel just felt regret; regret, tinged with sadness and pain. If only he could have told Serrie how much he loved her before she died... if only he hadn't been so demanding...

Joel felt as if he couldn't go on... how could he go about his life as though nothing had happened, how could he get up on stage when GC support Lit in a week... he didn't know if he was going to manage.