Chapter 04


Benji was driving- he'd turned the volume up so loud that Billy couldn't hear himself think. He didn't dare ask him to turn it down- Billy had never seen Benji in such a mood before. It was halfway between angry and depressed, very volatile; Billy felt that if he breathed in the wrong way Benji would either cry or scream. He hoped that this party would cheer Benj up.

Suddenly Benji jerked the van into a lay-by and pulled out the keys. "I can't... I can't go on, Billy." He began to cry.

Billy was shocked. He had never seen Benji break down like this before, and he had no idea what to do.

"Benj, what is it? I'm sure it'll be OK..."

Benji lifted his face and looked at Billy. His eyeliner was smudged everywhere.

"He doesn't love her, I know it, he just thinks he does, it's just lust, Billy, and he's wasting his time, and, and..." Benji gulped for air. Billy slid along the seat at the front of the van and held Benji tight in his arms, stroking his hair, as he sobbed it all out, all his pain, all his anger towards Joel and Serrie.

"He used to be mine, y'know, I know that sounds horrible but it was and now it's like she's possessed him and Billy, I know it's evil but sometimes I wish she would die, or just leave, you know, and it's ruining the band as well..."

"Sssh, Benj, sshh. GC'll be alright. We'll make it, you'll see. I'm sure Joel will see sense soon. How long can it go on? Not long, right?"

Suddenly a torchlight beam broke in on them, and they heard jeering voices. Billy froze, recognising one as the voice of Sam Cartland, a particularly vicious jock who only last week had beaten up one of Billy's friends, Steve.

Sam poked his head through the open window, on Benji's side. His eyes widened maliciously, as he yelled out, "Hey guys! We got a couple of gays!"

Billy realised that he was still holding Benji, and he let him go. Benji kept his head turned away from the window so that they wouldn't see his tears. "Fuck," he muttered, under his breath.

Unexpectedly, the door on Billy's side opened- Benji had left the door unlocked!- and Sam Cartland slid in, seeing Benji's face with his eyes all swollen from the tears. Sam wolf-whistled.

"Oh! I think I interrupted something here! I think Mr Martin was breaking up with the ugly twin! Am I right, ugly twin?" Sam asked in a high falsetto voice, addressing Benji.

Benji turned his hardest glare on Sam. "Get the fuck outta my van," he snarled, throwing every inch of venom he could into it.

"Ah, but it's not your van, is it now, ugly twin? I heard your mommy lent it to you. So, you see, I'm going to stay here. Aww, are you going to cry? No, wait! You've already done that over Mr Martin here, haven't you? Oh, he's heartless, dumping poor little ugly twin. I wonder why he went out with you in the first place. Maybe the other twin rejected him. Still, no excuse for being a faggot with you, ugly twin."

Billy turned around, even though he was more scared than he had ever been in his life- Sam Cartland was bigger, stronger and older than him, and people usually didn't mess with him. "Don't talk to Benji like that, he's worth ten of you," Billy stated, trying to keep the quiver out of his voice.

Sam laughed loudly, then his face suddenly set in a frown and he slapped Billy.

"I would punch you properly, but I don't hit girls," he taunted.

"I've had enough of this," Benji muttered, so that only Billy could hear. He leant over Billy and punched Sam in the mouth, hard, before shoving him roughly out of the van and slamming the door. He pushed the keys into the ignition and revved up, causing all the jocks to scatter for fear of being run over. Benji set the car in line for home and drove off.

"Little fuckers," Benji growled.

"Little?! They weren't little, Benj, they're two years older than me!"

"I know." Benji looked over at his younger friend. "You were brave back there."

"So were you," said Billy, and they drove on home in silence.