In thinking about video and sound which has been the focus of the week, I have spent the week looking at different video compositions in my search to find my own composition.  What I feel as an author of poetry, which I feel is similar to being a creator of art, is that when your creating something like video, audio, or even written word a part of you is changing.  The act of creation itself does something to the person creating it.
   As a writer, I remember as a child when I first would write a poem, how powerful you feel after writing something.  This creation at first seems amazing and powerful.  Then, the self doubt comes in and you critique your work and you worry about how the world will see you or your work.  The perception of audience changes your work and you begin to cut away at what you once believed to be perfect.  Then, time passes and you might look back and see the work as flat or unemotional, or you might see the spark of genius that was you.  Another possibility is that the work you created marks a time for you, and you get to see that how ever warn you are now a spark of your essence is captured in the act of creating.
    A question was posed at some point about why do we teach multimedia, what is valuable about it.  I think this is the same question that we have been asking about art since the beginning of time.  Why is art valuable?  It can't be based on a standardized test.  It is not something that can be measured or dissected without losing something beautiful about it.
   As I am making my journey of discovery, and once again discovering for myself why do I want to be a teacher.  I imagine in my mind the moment that I felt creation, or the reflection and the depth that I have gained over my short life, and I realize that the part of me that loves to learn is also the part of me that longs to teach.
   I feel like some of me wants to give up on teaching.  I thinkthis is because when I woke up to the harsh reality that teaching had become robotic preparing students for exit exams, my dream faded.  I hadimagined myself inspiring, and found myself to be a joke.  Luckily,my students passed their exams and did it well.
   I look at the video I did last time and I see an overweight teacher awkwardly trying to be professional with an idea.  This sounds harsh, but in truth I feel this probably accurate for what my students will feel and see as they go on film.  I feel my goal this year is to feel more confident on film.  I want to feel like I do when I first write something confident and inspired.  I think a great deal of the learning experience of multimedia is for students to go beyond what the audience perceives and perceive themselves differently.
   Out of what I viewed this week, I enjoyed the topper tv, because even though I know those students criticize themselves on many levels like I did when I first saw myself on film.  I truly believe confidence comes from practice, and if I  look at myself as a public speaker a year ago, and I look at myself after this video I am expecting to see growth and more competence as well as confidence.
Poem of the week
My hands now show wrinkles and veins.
My fingers are faster as they slide across the keyboard.
The quiet of clacking keys verses the hammering of my old humming type calms me.
I write in the dark hoping for insight and courage.
Can I put behind me what did not work and create again?
What will the next school bring?
Danielle Earley

Page Author: Danielle Earley
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