I feel I had an exciting breakthrough this week with technology.  I am realizing that I am finally multitasking and moving less linearly with my technology and reading on the web.  I found myself reading and taking notes without having to print the document off the web.  I feel like I am more interactive and confident with my ability to multitask with technology.

I read the article this week about the SIF program and it made me realize how dependent we are as educators on our systems working together.  Even as humans it is so easy to get caught in the belief that our way is the only way.  The real progress it seems is coming from a group saying lets collaborate on what would be the most effective way to look at our technology systems.  What if that same principal could be applied to the classroom?  What if teaching became more of a collaboration of ideas and an integrated blueprint of systems working together?  What if I was limiting myself in the past by not being willing to be part of a collaboration, but stuck in the tug of war between you doing it your way and me doing it my way?  I feel that part of the maturity I am moving through is in realizing the value of my contribution as valid, because now I realize that if I valued my own contribution then it would have created less friction.  It is so interesting to me the power of our own insecurities.  You can have two people that do the same work and the same quality of work but their inner worlds are so different.  There fore how they experience their life is different.  It seems this creates separation.  Is this not like two softwares that can not interact because of the way they seem themselves as isolated.  In a sense, I am looking for ways to merge myself with the world in a more compatible way.  I have always felt isolated because of my own uniqueness of expression.  I feel that the core of what I am seeing now is what I believed to be true is not.  At the beginning of this course I felt fragile and incapable when dealing with technology.  What I am finding now is that I am not only capable of completing something valuable, but that I have a part of the blueprint for education, and without my vote on what is important and without my valuing myself education will lose.  I need to understand that I am a valid contributor to my community, but this is an internal thing and as long as I am seeking outer validation, I will not find what I am looking for.  I feel a little sad at the way this year has turned out, because in many ways I have isolated myself, but the same time I am a stronger, healthier, wiser person and that is a valuable thing.    

Page Author: Danielle Earley
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