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| POOR LITTLE BITCH GIRL - CJ SLEEZ MANOR HOUSE PUBLISHING (2006) Book Review by Diane Wells |
| CJ Sleez is not quite 30 years old yet, but she�s been raising hell for at least half that period of time. Her title as �Queen of Raunchy Rock�n�Roll� is a bit of a misnomer, as she herself admits, �Some kids were into sex, I inclined towards (and still do), drugs and alcohol�. Still, she takes these vices to the limit, including a full-blown addiction to heroin, the withdrawal from which is thought-provokingly and poetically described in the chapter entitled �Prisoner�. Her curious attitude that prostitution would be �my definitive rock bottom� denotes a sense of morality that belies her otherwise uncensored approach to living life to its fullest.
This �unapologetic memoir� is a quick and easy read, but if you are looking for heavy-duty confessions (other than her deliberate attempt at suicide), you will most likely be disappointed. Her misadventures as a teenager consist of harmless misdemeanours such as under-age booze bashes, decimating a wine cellar, a joyride in a borrowed car, skinny-dipping in a fenced-off public swimming pool, and consuming assorted illicit drugs. Since I haven�t exactly lived a sheltered life myself, the only incident I found particularly raunchy was the �bathroom� incident at the El Mocambo. Now, that�s what I call �toilet love� � yeesh. While trying to pump her chosen career as a punk rock-oriented singer-songwriter, she takes on an alternate sideline as an exotic dancer, providing a brief but hardly mind-shattering glimpse into that pathetically sordid existence. There is also an episode concerning a drug-smuggling incident, but I found her narration of this tale to be a bit confusing. Many women of differing ages will relate very well to her guilt-ridden conscience at having had an abortion. While, in most cases, a woman�s decision to have this operation is made on an intellectual basis (taking her own current physical and mental state into consideration), the inherent and often overriding emotional aspects usually end up doing more damage than the operation itself. There�s a local historic element to the book, as well, as CJ mentions connections with many Hamiltonian musicians and bands, such as High School Hookers, The Sinisters, Riotstar, Teenage Head, and her long-time partners Marc (no last name provided) and Stacey Stray (now with Red Light Rippers). The chapters on Toronto�s infamous El Mocambo, when it was booked and promoted by �bad boy� Dan Burke, and a club called �Fleur du Mal� are sure to bring back fond memories for anyone who frequented those clubs in the '90s. Toronto punk band The Viletones are also implicated in the rock�n�roll shenanigans. Her travels across North America also give nods to U.S. bands like Vixen, Temptress and Bubble. CJ�s determination to succeed as a musician (especially in atonement for her abortion) results in a fairly hysterical music tour in Spain, but her experiences as a freelance model (and later with the Wilhemina Agency) in Manhattan, during the height of her heroin addiction, tragically echo those of �Gia�, a true-life film that made Angelina Jolie a star. It takes a hell of a lot of self-confidence, especially as a live performer, to do and say exactly as one pleases, but it was only a matter of time before the self-destructive nature of her public persona began to encroach on her repressed emotions as a private individual. In her song, �Blame Me� (in the �CJs Songbook� section), these specific lines seem the most revealing and yet most curious: �I�ve lost control and screwed it up; But what didn�t kill me made me tough; Got nothing left but my bad luck�I am my own worst enemy; I lose control without reasoning; I�ll take you down, I�ll make you bleed; I�ve got nothing left but my disease.� |
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