Staring up at the ceiling was as about amusing as the recent tests she'd taken just to please her doctors. At the moment, Anna didn't care whether she lived or died. The news she had just recieved from her doctors, she knew without a doubt now in her mind that it wouldn't be long before this disease took over her whole body.

        She felt like she was living a lie. Everyone that cared about her kept on telling her that everything was going to be fine, that she would be out of here by next month.

        This isn't fair.
       
        Anna looked down at the ground and sighed. Why is this happening to me? she wondered to herself. Life threatening diseases weren't supposed to be given to people like her. How many times have people told her that she was going to make a difference in the world? That she would make it better because that's the type of person she was?

        Visiting hours were over, considering it was almost two a.m. JC had stopped by earlier in the afternoon. They were on much better terms after he had cried to her, confessing that he was afraid he was going to lose her. After he apologized countless times for going to clubs, instead of coming to see her. She had held him in her arms, and she could feel the weakness in his limbs. He was falling apart. And she was afraid. She was afraid that when she died, he wouldn't move on. Anna knew deep in her heart that she wasn't going to be around much longer, and when Elizabeth had stopped by later that night, Anna had made her promise to make sure JC moved on. Elizabeth told her she would, but doubted very much that he could.

        But she didn't mention that to Anna. She had enough to deal with.
 
        Anna glanced over at the phone beside the bed that held her captive. The doctors told her she was already too weak, so she wasn't allowed to leave the bed.

        Should I call him to see if he's okay? He's really starting to worry me.

        She decided against calling JC, considering it was early in the morning. Knowing JC, he was asleep like a baby in their bed. Their bed. She had waited all of her life to find the man of her dreams, and now that she had, they couldn't be together.
 
        Tears spilled over her dark eyes. She felt so fatigue and weak that she could barely breathe. She tried to breathe, but her emotions were overcoming her. She kept on trying to breathe, and when she couldn't, she pushed the button for the nurse.





        She had been offered the job of her dreams, but Elizabeth turned it down. She knew it was the right thing to say the moment it came out of her mouth. A few months ago, she had applied for an internship at Mercy General, where her own mother had interned when she was a young doctor. Elizabeth had only applied because Anna had. They both wanted to work together in the same hospital.

        Elizabeth ripped up the acceptance letter and threw it in the trash. She was in her private office in their apartment. Justin had gone out a few hours ago, and she had been researching on the computer, trying to figure out ways that could save Anna's life. The letter had been sitting on top of her desk for the last few days, and just now she had opened it.

        As a young girl, the only thing Elizabeth had even wanted to do was save people's lives. She had even given CPR to some guy in her homeroom class in high school when he had choked on something he had been eating, and saved his life.
 
        Now, being a doctor mattered to her, but not as much as it used to. Right now she just wanted to concentrate on trying to find a cure to the disease that was taking over her best friend's life. Elizabeth had gotten back from seeing JC a few hours ago. He looked worse than she'd ever seen anyone. He hadn't slept, she knew, because when you looked in his eyes, you could see by the lines on his face. And he admitted it too. He spent most of his time at his and Anna's brand new house, sitting on the couch staring into space. The other guys tried to help him, but everytime they tried to talk to him, he would hiss at them to just leave him the hell alone.

        But JC could talk to Elizabeth. She seemed to be the only one who understood how he was feeling. Not just because she loved Anna as much as he did, but she had been through this pain before countless times. JC had lost a few friends before and hated feeling so helpless. He remembered losing one of his best friends to AIDS a few short years ago. He hated knowing he was never going to see Anna again when she died. Sometimes he spent countless hours in the den, trying to write a song to describe all of his feelings.

        But words were never enough. There was something missing everytime he tried to put his feelings down on paper. Usually it was so easy to explain how he was feeling, but not this time.

        This time the pain was too strong and too deep. He was going to lose the love of his life, and there was nothing he or anybody else could do. At least that what the doctor had told him this morning.

        Elizabeth gave up when she found nothing that would be able to help Anna. Out of frusturation, she hit her fist on the kitchen table. Before she knew it, she was crying. And it felt good. It was so hard for her to show her emotions in front of people, but when she was alone she could let it all out. And now she wasn't crying for herself, but for her best friend. Then, she prayed that a miracle would happen and change everything.


        “I feel a little better today.” Anna sat up so the doctor could examine her. It was only 7 am, but she felt better than she had in a long time.

        The doctor finished his examination of her, then smiled at her. “I know it sucks being stuck here all day long. If there's anything you need, just let me or one of the nurses know.”
 
        Anna's small smile faded, showing no expression at all. “I just want my life back. And nobody can give that to me.”
 
        “We're trying all we can to make sure you don't lose your life. Anna, there are miracles out there.”
 
        “Thanks, but right now I don't think that's going to happen. Trust me, I've faced the fact that I'm dying. And I'll deal with it. It's just my husband I'm worried about.” As if on cue, JC stuck his head in.

        “Can I come in or you in the middle of something?”
 
                    “No, come on in,” the doctor said. “We were just talking.” He put his stethescope back around his neck, then exited the room.

        JC and Anna just looked at each other. She broke before she put a handle on it. She fell into his arms and sobbed. He held her tight, trying to be strong, but seeing her falling apart like this, made him feel more helpless than he'd ever been. Anna was such a strong person that seeing her fall apart like this almost killed him.

        “Baby?” he said softly. He didn't want to say the wrong thing. Not when she was hiding her head against his shoulder and still crying softly.

        “I'm so scared,” Anna sobbed. “I don't want to die. I don't want to leave you.” She held him tighter, afraid that if she let go, she would lose him. “I love you so much. I just want you to know that. I don't want to leave without you knowing how much you've brought to my life.”
 
        Damn it. JC held her closer, trying not to cry himself, but he couldn't stop it. He had finally found his soulmate, and it looked like he was going to lose her. He tried his best to keep his hopes up, but every time she talked about after she was gone, it was harder to keep so positive.

        “Do you know how much I love you?” JC said, brushing kisses all across her face. “Do you know how long I've waited for you? You're not going to leave me. You're not. We're going to be together forever. And I don't want you to think any different.”

         He knew he was talking in desperation, but he was so scared. He was scared that this could be the last time he talked to her. What if he forgot to tell her how much she'd brought to his life? Or how much he loved her? Or that he'd do anything for her. He'd even die for her?
 
        “JC.” She touched his arm gently with her hand that wasn't hooked up to the damn machine. “We have to face things, here. I'm dying.”
 
        “Stop being so negative,” he said, trying to be strong, but failing miserably. “We're going to get through this.” But as he was speaking these words, tears were now forming in his eyes. When Anna noticed this, she pulled him into her arms again and held him tight.

        “I love you,” she whispered into his ear. She didn't know if he needed to hear it, but she needed to tell him. She needed him to know how she was feeling. How her love for him always seemed to overwhelm her. “I love you so damn much it hurts. If I had to die tomorrow, I'd die happy knowing I was loved by you. But if I make it through this, I'll be happy knowing you were by my side the whole time. I just....need you to promise me that if I don't make it, you'll move on.”
 
        He held up his finger to silence her. “I don't want to talk about that. Please? It's stupid to discuss.”
 
        “Okay.” She nodded slowly and laid her head down on his shoulder. The pain in his eyes was evident when she brought it up, so she closed the subject for now. They just sat there and held each other, worries both going through their minds

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