Till You Let Go
Chapter 9
After spending the next few days trying to locate Anna, Elizabeth finally
found her the last place she expected to find her. In the hospital, the
same hospital where Anna had spend the most grueling four months of her
life. That's where Elizabeth had found Anna...sitting in the waiting room,
the same waiting room where Anna's family and friends had sat night after
night after she had one of her relapses. Anna, curled up into a ball in
the chair watching some old comedy show, surrounded by the people that
were in the waiting room waiting to hear news about their loved ones.
"What are you doing here?" Elizabeth didn't wait to say something. She
feared that if she waited, she wouldn't know what to say. From the look
on Anna's face, she knew about JC and his new girlfriend. And she didn't
just look upset, but she looked pissed off. Elizabeth had never seen Anna
pissed off at all. This was a side of Anna she wasn't sure she liked.
Anna turned her head away from the tv and stared at Elizabeth. She hung
her head and sighed. "I didn't know where else to go," she said.
"Why didn't you come to the house? I've been worried sick about you. Everyone's
worried about you," Elizabeth corrected. Wouldn't knowing that people were
worried about her bring maybe a hint of a smile to Anna's dark features?
Anna's dark brown hair was tied up as it normally was, but her blue eyes
looked more like a dark shade of brown. Elizabeth could see the tear stains
on her face; Anna had been crying. That had confirmed it; Anna knew the
truth.
Anna just shrugged. "I just wanted to be alone." She expected Elizabeth
to ask why she wanted to be alone, but when she asked nothing, Anna knew
that she knew. Maybe she had talked to JC, or maybe the look in her eyes
was way too revealing. Elizabeth had always been able to tell when something
was wrong. Right now, she needed a friend. She needed someone to tell her
that everything would be alright, though deep down she wasn't sure if anything
would be anymore.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Elizabeth asked. She was still standing a few
feet from Anna, so she took a step forward. And to give a little comfort
to her friend, placed a warm hand on Anna's shoulder.
Anna was quiet for a minute as she contemplated why she hadn't told Elizabeth.
When it finally came to her why she hadn't told anyone about what JC had
done, she realized that she didn't want to look back on the past. The last
six months had been pure hell, and the recent disaster to occur in her
life, she just wasn't ready to talk about yet.
"I don't want to talk about it," Anna snapped, causing Elizabeth to pull
her arm away. "I'm sorry." She put her face in her hands and cried. She
hardly ever cried, but she felt so lost now that she had lost JC that she
didn't know what to do. "I just...God, I can't believe this is happening.
Just when they tell me I'm cured, this shit has to happen."
"Why don't we go somewhere and talk privately?" Elizabeth suggested. From
the looks of Anna's body as she got up slowly from the chair, she hadn't
eaten in the last few days. "We'll stop on the way home and pick up something
to eat."
"Okay," Anna replied, too tired to argue.
"That bastard." Anna had just finished explaining the note and the flowers
JC had left her, just a few days before she was released from the hospital.
And Elizabeth wasn't pleased. If she expected anything out of JC, this
certainly wasn't what she expected. She had always thought of JC as a good
husband. The thought of him cheating on Anna never would have crossed her
mind. Until now. "I can't believe he would just send you a note instead
of telling you in person."
"He did what he thought was best," Anna said, chewing on a french fry.
She hadn't eaten since she had received JC's "little gift". And she was
starving. "I hope the asshole's happy with his new barbie doll," she said
bitterly.
Just when things were looking up for Elizabeth, things seemed to be going
wrong for Anna. And when things were going well for Anna, things were going
terribly for Elizabeth. More than anything, Elizabet hated seeing her friend
going through this pain, especially after all the hell she'd just been
through with her disease. If she ever saw JC again, Elizabeth promised
herself she'd give him a punch just to show him what a jerk he was. She
just prayed the divorce would be quiet, then the two could just go their
seperate ways.
"He sent the divorce papers this morning," Anna said quietly. "That's why
I ran off this morning. I found them this morning in the mail. I've had
all my mail forwarded to my new house. Just when I thought that JC was
going to change his mind and come back to me, I got the papers."
Elizabeth could tell she was devestated. For good reason. Anna and JC had
been together almost four years, and he had betrayed her in the worse possible
way. If Justin ever did that to her, she didn't know what she would do.
"If there's anything I can do----"
"I know." Anna managed a small smile. "Thanks." She hugged Elizabeth. The
next few months would be hard, but she knew with all the support she had,
that she would get through it. She could forget JC. She had to if she wanted
to move on.
JC looked across the room at his four best friends. His four best friends
that were pissed at him, and refused to talk to him. But they had to cut
a few songs, so they all agreed to get along and play nice, just for today.
JC didn't blame them for being angry at him. He wasn't very happy with
himself at the moment, either. Leaving Anna that note hadn't been the most
manly thing to do, but at the time he had felt he had no other choice.
Why keep lying to Anna and hurt her more? Didn't she deserve to know the
truth? If only he had known how much he needed her when he had started
the affair with Amy.
At first, the affair had been casual and somehow it helped him to deal
with the possibility that he might lose Anna to her disease. So he and
Amy started seeing each other a little more, keeping JC from spending time
at the hospital with his wife, who was slowly starting to recover. JC was
still fearing the worst and found comfort in someone else's arms. But now
looking back, he wished he could go back and change his actions.
He had sent off the divorce papers last night. He knew that by now she
had probably already gotten them. He had ended his relationship with Amy
last night, too. He didn't love her. He couldn't go on seeing her when
he knew that Anna was the only one in his heart. He didn't want to hurt
Amy as he had hurt Anna. For a while JC had considered going back to the
house he and Anna shared. He had contemplated getting on his hands and
knees and asking for forgiveness.
But instead, after he broke up with Amy, he had gotten into his car and
drove all night, trying to take the pain away with the wind in his face,
and liquor to drown his sorrows. But that hadn't worked, either. Now here
he was, getting ready to cut the song he had written for Anna, and he was
drunk. Well, sort of.
Hung over was more like it. How could he have done this? He had not only
hurt Anna, but himself and the four guys staring back at him as he sang
those words like he still meant them. They glared at him as if to say 'how
dare you say those words after what you've done?'
After they were done cutting the songs, JC grabbed his jacket and headed
for the door. He wasn't wanted; it wasn't hard to see. The sour looks and
the glares were enough to convince him. He stopped dead in his tracks when
he heard Joey's voice.
"Don't go, man."
Then he heard Lance's.
"Yeah, come over here. Let's talk."
Then Chris' voice rang through his ears as JC looked back at his bandmates
and friends.
"Do you want some water? You look like you could use some."
JC smiled and walked back to them and sat down next to Justin, who still
refused to talk to him. "Thanks," he said, accepting the glass of water
from Joey. He took a long gulp, then put the glass down.
"We know you got drunk last night, JC," Lance said. "Why did you do it?
You never have more than one drink."
JC scowled. "I haven't been myself lately. I don't know what got into me."
He hadn't meant to snap, but it was eating him up inside that Justin, his
best friend, wouldn't even look at him.
"I'm proud of you for ending things with Amy," Chris put in, putting a
comforting hand on JC's shoulder. "You did the right thing, man."
"I know." JC nodded. "It was stupid even getting involved with her in the
first place."
"No shit," Justin muttered. That was the first time he'd said a word since
JC had walked into the studio this morning. But Justin still refused to
even look at JC.
"What do you want me to say, Justin?" JC snapped. "If I could take it all
back, I would. I never would have left with Amy that night at the club.
What can I do to make you look at me? You can't even stand to look at me,
can you? You're so ashamed of me. Believe me, you're not the only one.
How do you think I feel? I cheated on my wife. I lost the best thing that
ever happened to me."
Suddenly, Justin looked up and glanced over at JC. "I just don't understand
how you could be so stupid!"
"Believe me, I don't know either. The doctor's told me that Anna wasn't
going to make it through the week. I rushed out of there as soon as possible,
and went to the closest club. I didn't know what else to do. I felt so
lost. But now, I wish I could go back. I wish I had gone to Anna's room
instead of the club. I should have been there comforting her, telling her
that everything would be okay. That she was going to fine. But I can't
go back, Justin. I can't go back!" JC had never been so ashamed of his
actions, because normally his actions had never resorted to anything this
bad. He usually was able to control his emotions, and approach his problems
with ease. But not this time. Not when his wife's life had been in the
balance.
"Are you going to go and try to work things out with Anna?" Joey asked.
"I think she would just slam the door in my face if I tried," JC said.
"Maybe I'll wait it out a while, then try to talk to her."
"Why did you send the divorce papers if you wanted her back?" Lance asked.
"I don't know," JC admitted. "But I'm not letting her go without a fight,"
he said as he got up and headed for the door.
"Where are you going?" Justin called just as JC turned the knob.
"To get my wife back," was the reply they receieved before they heard the
door slam.
Chapter
10
Index
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