It had taken less than a second to speak those words, but once they slipped out of her mouth, Hannah wanted to hide her head and disappear into the night. But he would find her.

She wished she’d never said those words. Hannah wasn’t a hundred percent sure that she was ready to take the next step in her relationship with Lance. Yes, she loved him, but she wasn’t sure that them taking that next step would make their situation any easier.

She had never been with a man before. She’d been so afraid after she had discovered that an ex boyfriend of hers, Rob, like to prey on innocent woman and use them to be his sex slave. It was after that horrible experience that Hannah had sworn off men.

Rob, at the time, seemed like that prince that every girl dreams about. He was sweet, sensitive, and said he was willing to wait for her till she was ready to take the next step with him. But what Hannah hadn’t been aware of at the time was that Rob only said he would wait because he was sleeping around with other women. All Hannah had been to Rob was a distraction, a boost to the man’s ego.

But she hadn’t given into her inner emotions. When her heart had told her it was time to consumate their relationship, Hannah had walked into his house and into his bedroom, only to find him in bed with another woman.

She had run from the scene and never saw Rob again. It was then that Hannah discovered that she couldn’t trust anyone but herself. She only had herself to look after, and after a while it got pretty lonely, but Hannah managed to do just fine on her own. She didn’t need anyone, especially a man. They were just a waste of breath, she had thought at a time.

That was until she walked on this ship and found this man, and this overwhelming feeling she got that told her that it was time to let someone in. At the beginning, Hannah had assured herself that Lance just wasn’t the man. He made himself look just like Rob. He slept around with women who didn’t mean anything to him. That was the one and only thing Hannah did not like about Lance.

But he had been through exactly what she’d been through. He’d been cheated on by someone that he thought he loved, who he thought was his soul mate. It isn’t easy to accept a relationship’s over, especially when it seems the relationship was nothing but a fraud.

But Hannah still couldn’t quite understand why Lance had to sleep around so much. It was true that he could have anyone he wanted. He had the money and the looks to keep women coming around his way, trying to get their way into his heart. He had accepted that as the best he could do. He didn’t want to be in another relationship, anyway. Not after the way Janine had hurt him.

Once was enough for any heart to be broken. At first, Hannah had just assumed that Lance had a really cold heart. But the more she got to know him, the more she realized that he actually had a pretty soft heart, he just didn’t like to show it. But somehow, someway, Hannah had brought that softness out into the sunlight, so everyone could see that the old Lance they knew before Janine, was still in there somewhere.

Hannah watched him out of the corner of her eye. He was trying to avoid her gaze. He was flattered and somewhat surprised by her announcement a few minutes earlier. Well, so was she. She hadn’t expected the words to come out. She hadn’t even realized she’d spoken them until she heard them herself.

She covered her mouth and stood there, embarrassed. Her face was a little red, but slowly turning back to it’s original color. “I’m sorry,” Hannah said, trying to get him to look at her. He was still staring at the floor.

He couldn’t look at her. If she saw how unsure he was about them taking a step forward in their relationship, she might hate him.

“It’s okay.” Calming himself down, Lance raised his eyes and they met hers. She was smiling, but she looked a little bit ashamed of her earlier words. “I don’t want to jump into this relationship,” he said. “I made that mistake with Janine, and a few other girls. We jumped into bed, and from there the relationship was pretty much over.”

“I totally understand what you’re saying.” She nodded. “I don’t want to jump into bed with you. I would feel a little dirty, you know?” Hannah walked over to the window and watched the sun come up. “I hope you don’t take this to offence, but…”

“I think I can take it.”

“I would feel like just one of those women you slept with, you know?” she said. “You rushed into bed with women because you thought that relationships were just a waste of time. And at a time, I felt the same way.”

Lance looked surprised. “Really?”

Hannah nodded, and in a quick version, replayed the story about her and Rob, including how badly their relationship ended. When she’d finished, she took a step towards him and took both his hands.

“That’s why I don’t want to rush this. I need to know for sure that what I’m feeling is real. I need to know that you’re feeling it, too.”

He was still trying to compose himself. The story Hannah had just told him had totally shocked him. But it wasn’t that surprising. It let Lance in on a few more of her secrets. It helped explain a lot of Hannah’s issues, how she found it so hard to trust anybody. It wasn’t just her parent’s marriage that made Hannah so vulnerable to trusting people. But her relationship with Rob and his betrayl had only made things worse.

“I know what I’m feeling is real.” He tightened the hold on her hands. “And I’m sure what you’re feeling is real, too. What we have is real.”

She just nodded, unable to speak. There was no doubt in her mind that what they felt for each other was real. It was honest, true love. That much she knew, there was no mistaking it.

“We don’t have to rush anything,” he said. “We can go at whatever pace you want.”

Hannah took that as her cue and on impulse, kissed him hard. It was unlike any of the other two kisses they’d shared so far. It was so intoxicating, she almost lost her balance. She wrapped her arms around his neck to keep from falling to the ground. That wouldn’t look too good, she thought.

At first, Lance was too surprised by her course of action that he just stood there, his eyes closed, his lips pressed against hers. Hannah seemed to be doing all the work, but soon she demanded that he kiss her back. She didn’t say the words, but the way she was pressing up against him, the way her fingers were tickling the back of his neck.

She’d been waiting what seemed like her whole lifetime to feel like this. The feeling was too overwhelming to be ignored. The intensity of their kiss was now going beyond when he began kissing her back, as eager and excited as she was. His hands had different intentions then his mind did. His head kept screaming at him, telling him to stop this before it went too far. But his hands had a totally different idea.

His hands roamed her back, over the dark blue sweater she was wearing. The sweater itself was old and was beginning to fall apart slowly. And Lance’s actions weren’t helping the old piece of clothing. His hands were moving anywhere they could touch.

They both broke away from the kiss, breathless. Hannah spoke first, but not until her breathing calmed down.

“Shit. I can’t believe I just did that.”

Lance was just grinning from ear to ear. “Me either.”

She just started laughing, and soon he was laughing along with her. Neither could believe how long it took for them to share a kiss like that.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” she whispered.

Their eyes met. They both smiled. Hannah took a step closer till they were barely apart. She touched his arm.

“I have, too.” He felt the shock waves her touch sent through him. “I have, too,” he repeated in a soft whisper.

Hannah used her other hand and touched his other arm. “Are we crazy?” she said. “Didn’t we just say we were going to take this slow?”

“When you look at me like that, I can’t remember anything we’ve said.”

“When I look at you like what?” she asked, but she knew what he meant. She was aware that she was looking at him with pure desire and love in her eyes. She’d been walking around like that for days, he just hadn’t been paying enough tension before to notice.

“Like that.” He touched her cheek. “You’re driving me crazy here. And you’re doing it on purpose.”

Hannah smiled. “So?”

Suddenly the nervousness was gone and was replaced with something different. She was ready to reach out and give Lance what she’d been waiting to give. Her heart was already in his hands. He just had to take it.

It wasn’t the thought of being with Hannah that was troubling him. He just didn’t want them to sleep together then regret it later. Correction, he didn’t want her to regret it later. After all the women he’d been with, Lance knew when there was something beyond desire there. And with Hannah, there’d been a hell of a lot more than that from the moment they met. He just didn’t want her to regret them going over the line of friendship.

She’d seen him with women before. What if she felt like just one of those women that meant absolutely nothing to him? She had to know first that without a doubt he loved her, and she was the world to him.

If only JC was here, Lance thought. He was always good with words. Always knew the right words to say. He would know how to fix this. Lance, on the other hand, wasn’t very good with words. He had learned that speaking from the heart only left the heart in deep trouble. He had stopped trusting his heart a long time ago.

“You know I love you, right?” he said. “Like really love you, right?”

Hannah realized he was scared, afraid that she wasn’t aware of his true feelings. But she knew. She’d known for a quite a while now.

“I know you do,” she murmured. “If you didn’t, we wouldn’t be here. Lance..” She kissed him softly, letting her words sink into his head. “Don’t be worried. From what I can tell, you want exactly what I want.”

So what if it had taken a while for her to realize he wanted the same thing? It all would work out at the end.

“And what do you want?” he whispered.

“A future with you.” She sounded so sure that he wanted the same thing. He liked that. He liked that a lot.

“I want that, too.”

“I know.”

“I want to grow old with you,” he said.

“You will,” she promised.

“I want to have a family with you.”

“You will,” she promised.

“I want to die with you next to me.”

“You will,” she promised.

Desire filled his eyes now, along with love. “I want to make love to you tonight.”

“You will.”

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