He used to live recklessly. They used to wonder if it was the thrill of having every woman that crossed his path, or if he just couldn’t be alone. But back then, he absolutely refused to be tied down to just one woman.
        He had one night stands, not long term relationships. On the outside he was always smiling, but that was just for the cameras. Behind the scenes, he was miserable. This image that he had played out for so long was now his life. Everyone told him often that they would give to live his life.
        Sometimes he thought about ending it. Sometimes it just wasn’t worth it.
        His love for singing and writing had suddenly turned into something totally different. No one was concentrating on the real reason anymore. They didn’t care if his album went number one, or the fact that he had contributed in many ways by his lyrics to put out great songs.
        Out of the blue it became about the fame. He didn’t mind being in the spotlight, but when they all seemed to just care about who he was seeing, where he was living, and what he was doing outside of the music business. No one seemed to care anymore about the music.
        So naturally, he threw himself at many different women when things weren’t going his way. His love for the music didn’t disappear. All he had wanted to do his entire life was make music, and that didn’t change. Not even when thousands of reporters were hounding him wherever he went, just to see who he was dating. But after a while, it started to get so bad that he threw a rock through one of the reporter’s car windows.
        But they still didn’t get the message. No, they had to get their story on who the famous pop star was seeing now.
        That’s when Justin started to get fed up. Fed up with what his image had turned into, Justin turned to many different women for comfort. He had a few affairs with a few of his dancers, but they ended badly when they wanted a bigger commitment from him. He couldn’t give one. His heart had been broken once before and he wasn’t going to let that happen ever again.
        Then came all those late nights at clubs. Wherever the group was travelling, Justin demanded that they go to all the popular night clubs. JC often went with him because he knew how bad Justin’s moods would get. If Justin needed to be told to back up and just have a good time, JC could do it.
        Justin began having one night stands with women he met in a club. The good thing about them, he realized after a few one night stands, was that they didn’t expect a commitment. They only wanted what he did---a good time and great sex. Another body to satisfy the hurt, the pain.
        The more time that passed, the more time Justin spent at clubs. When they weren’t on tour or recording, that’s where he spent most of his time. The sex was never boring, no matter who it was with. He was getting exactly what he wanted, without the emotion usually involved.
        The thing was, the press still seemed to think he was the pop prince who was still a virgin. On TV and in interviews, Justin still referred to himself as a virgin.
        “I want to wait till I find the right girl,” was his usual response when asked why.
        He kept his clean cut image the most he could. But when the group got so popular that they were considered one of the best in pop history, then his reputation started to go down the drain as the sweetheart of the group. The world soon discovered that Justin was no longer a virgin, and that he liked to have sex whenever he had the opportunity, no matter who it was.
        That all changed one night after returning back from a concert. His world was changed completely the moment he met her. He just didn’t know it then.




        She was just an ordinary girl. But the moment he stepped into the elevator he saw her, and decided to make his move.
        She shot him down when he tried to make the moves on her.
        Shocked and totally taken a back, Justin had pressed the button for his floor and took off his sunglasses. “Don’t you know who I am?” he had asked her.
        Of course she had known. She did watch television. But she was not at all impressed. She thought what he did was wrong, but soon began to realize why he often did what he did.
        Neither knew exactly how it happened, but they became fast friends. Justin understood that she wasn’t going to sleep with him. But when she looked at him, he wanted more than anything to get her to. Deep inside his head, he had this master plan to get to her. When his charm and wit didn’t do it, he tried something else.
        When everything failed, Justin had realized that this woman was someone he could really trust. He soon found himself sharing his deepest secrets with her, things that even his mother didn’t know.
        Her name was Kassidy, and soon Justin found himself falling, and falling hard.




        Justin continued to sleep around, despite Kassidy’s pep talks and warnings.
        She just doesn’t understand. She acts like she knows me. She doesn’t know what it’s like to be me.
        Kassidy caught him one day in bed with one of her own best friends. Standing in shock at the sight, she covered her eyes and went to exit Justin’s hotel room.
        “Kass?” Kassidy’s best friend, Tara, sat up and pulled the sheet up with her. “What are you doing here?” She had no idea that Kassidy knew Justin. No one knew, really.
        Though she was suddenly feeling jealous and protective of Justin, she pushed those thoughts away. Her best friend had slept with her other best friend. She was absolutely furious.
        “The question is,” Kassidy said, “what are you doing here?” Justin was still fast asleep beside Tara.
        “Umm.” Tara tried to think of an explanation, then she shrugged. “I met this amazing guy last night at the club. And well, he invited me back to his hotel room.”
        Justin had lied to her, Kassidy suddenly realized. She thought back to his words earlier that night on the phone.
        “Yes, I promise I won’t go to a club tonight.” He sighed as he heard her on the other side of the phone giving him another ‘pep talk.’ “Yeah, and I won’t bring a girl back here to my hotel.” He had rolled his eyes, Kassidy was sure.
        “Damn it,” Kassidy muttered, her voice raising.
        “What is it?” Tara asked. “Do you know this guy or something?”
        “No,” she said quickly. “I’m just worried about you. That’s all. You can do so much better than this jerk.” She said jerk a little too loudly on purpose. She knew Justin was awake because she could see his eyes slightly open.
        “Look, just because you want to wait to have sex, doesn’t mean I have to,” Tara said in a harsh tone. She hated when Kassidy acted all saint like. It got annoying very quickly. “And he’s not a jerk. He’s very sweet.”
        Kassidy snorted. “He acts like that just to get you in his bed.”
        Hadn’t he done that to her too last year when they’d met? But she hadn’t fallen for it. Now, after a year of friendship, Kassidy was starting to realize that he was never going to change. She just couldn’t understand why he always had this urge for intimacy.
        “Get out of here,” Justin growled. He was still lying down, but had turned his head and looked Kassidy in the eye. “Stay out of my business. How many fucking times do I have to tell you to stay out of my personal life?”
        Tara glanced quizzickly at her friend. “You know him?”
        “I thought I did,” Kassidy said sadly. He had never talked to her like that before.
        “God, I can’t believe this,” Tara said. She grabbed her clothes from the floor and headed to the bathroom to change, the sheet still around her body.
        She had come all the way from Florida just to surprise him with a visit. And look what she had found. She had been lied to. That was she hated the most, when friends, people she trusted most, lied to her.
        Justin dropped the sheet from his body and watched carefully as Kassidy turned her head and headed for the door.
        “Where are you going?” he asked, sounding once again like the best friend that he always considered himself to be. He was possessive that way with Kassidy. He hated to admit it, but he hated when other guys were around her. He would get jealous and would say whatever he had to to let people know that she was his. Though he would deny it if anyone asked him.
        “Back home.”
        “But you just got here,” he said. “Come on, stay for a while. We’ll go downstairs and grab a bite to eat or something.”
        “No thanks.” She wasn’t in the mood to eat. She wasn’t in the mood to see his face right now. She was so angry.
        He saw the hurt in her eyes, and he suddenly wished he could take last night back. It was the first time he’d felt guilty about sleeping with anyone.
        “I’m sorry,” he said. “But she was just a fuck. Nothing else.”
        Kassidy’s eyes turned to ice. He was talking about one of her best friends. “Everyone’s just a fuck to you. If I had slept with you that first night, you would have thought of me as just a fuck, too. The difference is I have enough self control and respect for myself. All those women that sleep with you don’t have one bit of respect for themselves or their bodies.”
        “You wouldn’t have just been a fuck,” he said quietly, slipping his shirt over his head. “You know that. You’re my best friend, Kass.”
        She hated when he talked sweet like that. Whenever he did, she would forgive him for whatever he had done.
        “If I was,” Kassidy said, “you wouldn’t keep sleeping around. God Justin, don’t you have any respect at all for yourself?”
        He snarled. “I have plenty of respect for myself, thank you.”
        “Then why can’t you stop this?” she demanded. “You could have anyone you want to. It’s time you started being serious and find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with.”
        Can’t you see that I’m that person? I love you, Justin. Not for your fame, not for your money. I love you.
        “No way.” Justin emerged from the bed and put on his jeans. “I’m not meant for that forever type of shit.”
        Kassidy shook her head. “Of course you are.”
        “I know you want me to be happy, but I am. Can’t you see that?” He grabbed his wallet from the table and put it in the back pocket of his jeans. “My life is fine the way it is. There’s no need to get my heart involved.”
        “Because you’re afraid you’re going to get hurt again.” Don’t you know that I would never hurt you? I would never leave you like Sarah did. I love you.
        Justin did what he always did when she brought up the subject of him getting in a serious relationship. He rolled his eyes and kissed the top of her head.
        “That’s not for me, Kass. Just let it go, okay?”
        “No,” she said stubbornly. “Not until it gets through that head of yours that you could be happy. Don’t you want to be happy, Justin?” She tugged on his hands.
        “I am happy.”
        Kassidy pulled at his hands again, hard. “Don’t lie to me, Justin.”
        “I’m not.”
        Damn, she was looking at him again in that way. She was offering him her heart, though the words were not spoken out loud. He knew it in the way she gazed at him, and the way her fingers were running softly on his skin. She wanted him to give his heart to her, but he just couldn’t do it.
        Tired of trying, Kassidy let go of his hands and gave into defeat. “Fine,” she said. “You want to be miserable and just spend your life fucking people, fine.”
        As she was walking to the door, something was pushing at Justin to make her stay.
        “Please stay,” he begged. He needed her, and it was evident in his voice.
        God, if you only knew what I was feeling. Damn it, I think I’m in love with you. When the fuck did this happen?



        It was several weeks until Kassidy saw him again. After the incident in the hotel, Kassidy and Justin decided not to contact each other for a while. But the moment Kassidy got back to Florida, she was already missing him. All she wanted to do was pick up the phone and call him. But she held herself back, reminding herself that by their pact not to talk to each other till he came back to Florida would be the last chance for Justin to finally realize what’s been in front of him all along.
        But when he returned to Florida, everything seemed the same. Justin acted no different. Kassidy heard from his mother that Justin was seeing a girl named Tiffany that he had met on tour in Detroit. They were very serious about each other, according to JC. And according to Lance, Justin was a brand new man. He had given up on sleeping around. Now he was a one woman man.
        Kassidy hid her pain the best she could. It was hard when she realized she had lost her chance. She should have told him that she loved him. But she knew he would have just shot her down. If not, they would have had one romp in the hay, then that would have been it for Justin. She would have just been a fuck.
        Out of the corner of her eye, Kassidy watched Justin and Tiffany cuddling from her spot on the couch. The two lovebirds were across the room on the floor watching some old movie. He was whispering things into Tiffany’s ear, and Tiffany was giggling.
        Kassidy rolled her eyes and tried to keep herself from throwing a pillow at each of them.
        After the movie was over and Justin was turning off the VCR, Tiffany took the spot beside Kassidy. “It’s nice to finally meet you,” Tiffany said. “Justin’s told me so much about you.”
        “I don’t see why he would,” Kassidy said.
        “You’re a great friend, he says.” Tiffany seemed confused. “Aren’t you like best friends?”
        “I’m far from his best friend. We’re just friends. We barely see each other.” Better to cut those ties now, she thought.
        “Well, it’s good to meet you anyway.”
        “Are you with Justin for his money?” Kassidy asked out of the blue. She just had to know. She wanted Justin to be happy if nothing else.
        “Of course not,” Tiffany said. “I like him a lot. I had no idea that he was a celebrity until a few months ago.”
        “You’re really not after his money?” She was sort of relieved, but it also made her angry. Kassidy was so sure that she would be the one in the end that held Justin’s heart. Now she knew that she had been very wrong to consider that.
        “No.”
        The conversation stopped quickly when Justin came over and gave Tiffany a short kiss.
        “I’m going to go help mom with dinner,” he said. “I was thinking after we could go to that club you were telling me about.”
        “Sure,” Tiffany said. “It’s not too far from here. As long as we’re not out late. I have an early class tomorrow.” Apparently, Tiffany was an art history major.
        Justin stole one glance at Kassidy, then retreated to the kitchen to check on his mother.
        “I don’t think taking Justin to a club is such a smart idea,” Kassidy said.
        “Why not?” Tiffany asked. She obviously knew nothing about his past.
        When Kassidy realized this, she changed the subject.
        Though her heart was aching when later that night she could hear him moaning from the room just down the hall, Kassidy tried to let it go.
        Sleep didn’t come until much later that night.
        As long as he’s happy, she tried to convince herself.



        Kassidy found out the next day that Justin had broken up with Tiffany. She guessed he got scared and broke it off. She watched as Tiffany slammed the front door. Justin, leaning against the closed door, didn’t seem to care.
        “What the hell happened?” Kassidy asked him. “You guys seemed so happy.”
        Justin shrugged as if it was nothing. He was going to go back to his old ways. As Justin always told her, nothing lasts forever.
        “It just wasn’t right,” he said. “She wasn’t right for me.”
        “She wasn’t right for you?” What the hell did that mean?
        Justin held the door open and held out Kassidy’s jacket. “Can we go for a walk? I could really use one of your talks right now.”

        “Are you telling me that you broke it off because she slept with you last night?” Kassidy sat down on the grass in the park. They had been walking for almost an hour and her feet were tired.
        “She gave in too easily,” Justin said, taking a seat next to her. “I didn’t want us to sleep together. I told her I wanted to wait. She said why wait. She wanted me, and she wasted no time.”
        “You’re really ready to settle down, aren’t you?” She was surprised, but he seemed more happy now that he had no plans to go back to sleeping around.
        “Yes. You were right. There is someone out there that’s right for me. I just haven’t found her yet. Maybe I would have already if I hadn’t fucked up my life by sleeping with anyone that would have me.”
        Kassidy gave his arm a small squeeze. “You’ll find her. Don’t rush things.”
        “I think I already have.”
        She felt like dying when he said that. Here she thought she still had a shot of winning his heart. That just went down the drain.
        “That’s great.”
        “She’s the most amazing person that I’ve ever met,” Justin said. “She always is looking out for me. She made me believe in love again. Without her, I think my life would have been miserable. She made life bearable for a long time.”
        Who the hell is he talking about? Doesn’t he see that I love him?
        “And I’m so in love with her that I sometimes I can’t think. I thank God that she refused to sleep with me that first time I asked her in the elevator.”
        Kassidy’s eyes went wide, and she was sure that she was smiling. “You asked me to sleep with you in an elevator. Who else have you asked that I don’t know about?”
        “Only you. Only you,” he said softly. “Don’t you see? I’m in love with you.”
        “Shit. Oh shit.” Kassidy covered her mouth. “You’re in love with me?”
        Justin rolled his eyes the way he always did with her, and that made her laugh.
        “Yes, I love you. Is there something wrong with that? I know you felt the same a long time ago, but I’m not too sure after what I put you through,” he said.
        “You knew I was in love with you?”
        Had she been that obvious?
        “Everyone kept telling me to go after you. They all said you were the best thing that ever happened to me. And you know…” He let his lips touch hers for the first time. “They were right. So right that it scares me to death to know that you love me. It scares the shit out of me because I have all this love for you inside, and it’s been there for a long time.”
        “You love me?” She couldn’t quite yet believe it.
        “Didn’t I just say that?” He guessed she wanted to hear it again. “I love you.”
        “Oh, damn.” Kassidy was smiling again, and she wanted him to kiss her again. It felt so good and it felt so right. It was like they really did belong together. “You know I still love you, right? I’ve never stopped.”
        “Thanks for telling me. Thought I lost my chance.” He took her hand in his, and interlocked their fingers.
        “I’ll always love you.”
        “And I’ll always love you.” He leaned in again to kiss her. “Thanks for sticking by me, baby.” The kiss lasted longer this time, and it reminded him of what kissing someone you love felt like. He’d been missing that for a long time.
        “You have a good heart, Justin. Never doubt that. Now I’m giving you mine. You have the key. I swear to you that I’ll never leave you.” She knew he was worried that she would one day, and she had to reassure him that she wasn’t going anywhere. This was forever, and he had to know that. There were no escapes this time.
        “Promise?”
        “Promise,” Kassidy said.
        “I think you’ve had my heart for a long time,” Justin said minutes later after a long silence.
        “I know.”
        Justin wanted to laugh at that, but he didn’t. He was just sorry it took him so long to realize it. So instead of dwelling on the past, he pulled her in for another kiss and decided it was much better to think of their future.
        It looked so bright.