(October 2, 1999)

April Summers slammed her book shut with a frustrated sigh.  This is too confusing.  Why did I ever choose to major in Neurology?  Oh that’s right.  I HAVE epilepsy.  Should I fell honored?  Why am I talking to myself?  This is so stupid.  I can’t believe I am actually carrying on a conversation with myself.  SHUT UP."  April stood up from her and walked into her kitchen.  "Just keep telling yourself that you want to reach out to them."

April violently opened her refrigerator and bent down, causing her long dark brown hair to fall over her shoulders and outline her face.  April’s brown eyes looked frustratingly over the shelves looking for some sort of edible item.  When she couldn’t find something she closed the door and stood up, pushing her fallen strands of hair behind her ears.

April walked out of her kitchen and back to her bedroom once again to try reading from her medical book once again.  After all, she would be having her midterm test and it was already Saturday.  That’s what April majored in college; Neurology. 

Ever since the age of six, she had seizures.  They went away after she was put on medication and when everything stopped, the medication stopped.  When she was in sixth grade, she had a grand mal seizure; the worst seizure there is.  That was when she was diagnosed with Epilepsy.  April had learnt to deal with it and control it so she could live a normal life.  April was at the age of twenty-two and still carried this disease with her.  It didn’t bother her living with it as much as LEARNING it.  She found it quite interesting to say the very least.  She dwelled in the fact that she was learning about this common disease and it fascinated her how Epilepsy worked.  She wanted to help people with their Epilepsy and she would be able to know where they are coming from, because after all, she’s living it.

April lived a small and quiet kind of life.  Living up in New Jersey wasn’t all that bad, quite cozy as she put it.  April had her friends, her family, her LIFE in Somerset, New Jersey.  She didn’t care if she lived in a small populated town in which gave her in return having not as many friends as people in the city would have.  To her, Somerset was small.  Then again, she did live in a smaller town of Somerset.  Did April care? 

Not one bit.

She had her friends, her TRUE friends, and that was all she needed.  She carried a skill that she never figured out she had until she was thirteen.  That skill was painting.  Her mom had signed her up in a class and it came to her as natural.  Ever since, she painted.  It calmed her nerves just as writing did.  She cherished in the fact that she held that skill as well.  Many people commented her on her abilities and she, in return, said her ‘thank you’s’, but she brushed it off.  It was until she was fifteen that she realized she had those two special skills.  Her writing abilities went way back when she first held a pencil in her hand and a piece of paper on her desk.  Her words flowed out of her and came down on her paper.  She realized that she had that skill when she was but the age of eleven.

SHE carried the gift.

"I’m going to BOMB this test!"  She groaned and ran a hand through her hair when she heard the telephone ring.  She jerked it up to her ear.

"HELLO?"

"Woah, bad time April?"

April sighed when she recognized the voice.  It was the voice of Ann, April’s best, but annoying, friend.  "Why hello Ann.  How good of you to call at a BAD TIME."

"Let me guess…you’re studying for midterms and you are bored out of your MIND.  Well, Ann Tastles has the cure for you."

April held up a hand even though Ann couldn’t see her.  "Stop right there.  I am NOT…I repeat…NOT…going out.  I have to study and I’m going to…"

"Lock yourself up in your bedroom until you have every word in the book memorized."

"How did you…"

"It’s come out of your mouth fourteen times in the last forty-eight hours."

"You’re wast…"

"Wasting my studying time and I need to go."

"I’ll call you…"

"You tomorrow morning.  I promise.  April, that’s all you’ve said whenever I’ve called."

"Aren’t YOU supposed to be studying as well?"

"Why should I?  I know EVERYTHING."

April’s eyebrows raised and she laid her book down on her desk.  "Really?  Let me see…you’re majoring in art, hmm?  Well…um…I know.  What was Pablo Picassos’s first painting named?"

"Umm…"

"What are the five detailed forms of art and name the categories they fall under."

"I’m at a loss of words."

April smiled triumphantly.  "Goodbye Ann."

"But how do you know this stuff?"

"Goodbye Ann."

"But how do you know…"

"GOODBYE Ann."  April hung up the phone without letting Ann speak another word.  April would call Ann her close if not best friend.  They had been in the same class ever since kindergarten but they became friends in the third grade.

This was both their third year of college and while April was studying medicine, Ann was studying Art.

"This just isn’t coming to my brain at ALL.  What can get my mind off of Neurology for a while?"

April threw her book across the room thinking that no matter what she would do or what she would study could help her.  The only thing April knew what to do when tests or BIG TESTS came up was study.  When there were big tests April locked herself in her bedroom until, like Ann had said, she had every word in the book memorized.  April really didn’t know any better.

Her whole family pushed her to strive for what she wanted and by the seventh grade she became immune to it.  She didn’t mind the studying as much as the test that always came with it.  Yeah she studied, yeah she got straight A’s, but there was still room left for her to be nervous.  Her parents helped her get through everything she had accomplished and now it was her turn.  It was her turn to make her parents proud.  And if all hell broke loose she would still stand tall for her family.

Being the youngest wasn’t always easy.  Out of three children April was the youngest right before her sister who was two years older than she.  She had an older brother who was four years older and the three of them together held a special bond.  They turned to one another and being the youngest was just an extra because even her brother came to her for help.

A knock sounded on April’s door and she looked up from her book on her bed to the door.  "Come in."

April’s brother who was eighteen at the time opened the door and came in.  "Hi Apri."

April rolled her eyes.  "That was my baby name.  Apri doesn’t mean anything anymore to me.  I’m fourteen and my name is April."  April sighed exhaustedly and put her book on the side if her bed.  "Now what did you want?"

He cautiously closed her door and walked slowly over to her bed.  He played with his hands while he tried to figure out how to word what he wanted to say.  "I have a question."

April sensed his nervousness.  "What is it?"

"Well you ARE a girl…"

"Gee you’re a quick one."

Jake rolled his eyes.  "It’s Leslie’s birthday tomorrow and…"

"And you want my advice?"

Jake sighed and smiled.  "Yeah.  What would you want for your birthday?"

"ME?  What if I want something that your GIRLFRIEND doesn’t?  Don’t forget I AM four years younger than her."

Jake dropped his head and whispered, "Yeah, I know.  I’m totally clueless though."

"I think what ANY girl would want…"

Jake looked up at her with a bright smile.  "Yeah?  What does any girl want?"

"Do you have any classes together?"

Jake looked at her as if she were from another planet.  "Yeah.  First period, Music."

April sat up and clapped excitingly.  "Perfect!  This is what you should do.  Before anyone is in the classroom grab some different colored chalk, if they have it, or else white.  Write ‘I Will Always Love You Forever Leslie Sanders’ in huge letters on the chalkboard.  Go to the store tonight and buy tons of different colored roses and bring them to school without anyone seeing them.  Scatter them everywhere and tape some to the chalkboard."

Jake was looking more and more excited and April let everything soak in.

"Do you have a song?"

"Yes it’s called ‘Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love’ by Barry White."

"Okay…so when she walks in…wait, do you have a sound system and microphone?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Play the song and sing it to her when she walks into the room."

Jake’s eyes lit up and he ran to her bed and hugged her.  "You are a GENIOUS!"

April smiled.

"I owe you big time!"

"SO BIG time.  Just kidding.  Glad I could help."

Jake walked to her door and when he was out he peeked his head around it with a grin on his face.  "Apri will always be your nickname for us.  You just wait and see…I’ll prove it to you."

April rolled her eyes.  "That will be the day."

Jake winked.  "Thanks again."

"When did you ever say thanks?"

"You are so pigheaded."  Jake closed the door and she could hear his footsteps running down the stairs.  "Mom!  I’m going to the store!  I’ll be right…"

April laughed and returned to her book.  She grew serious and whispered to herself before reading it.  "I wish a guy would do that for me.  I’m telling you Leslie, you are one lucky girl."

April drummed her fingers on her desk and smiled tenderly remembering one of the MANY memories she had had over the years.  To her she had a wonderful life and the way she grew up was the only was she knew how to live.  Of course she had changed a bit over the years but she held on to the wisdom her parents and siblings had given to her.

April looked at the clock and noticed it was getting pretty late.  She was so overtired because she didn’t know how tired she really was.  The test was coming up, she knew everything, yet she picked up her book turned on her desk light, and started scanning through the words in the book.

She yawned and her mind was elsewhere while she read and after a short hour April fell asleep with her head on her book. 

(October 5, 1999.  Day of test)

It was now two o’clock in the morning and April had been living on caffeine for the past twenty-seven hours.  She slammed her head onto her text book and groaned.  She knew the materials and she knew that.  The thing was that she wanted to refresh her brain every twelve hours.  So only memorizing it once wasn’t good enough for her. 

"I am never going to be ready for this stupid test.  My brain is on overload right now and this is already my third year.  I should be immune to this."

April rambled and it was caused from nervousness like this for the next fifteen minutes thanks to the caffeine flowing through her blood system before she passed out.  Her bed was her chair, her book on her desk was her pillow, and her clothes were her blanket.  The lamp on her desk was the early sunlight, but April was too tired to notice it.  She was out like a flash of lightening and nothing would be able to wake her up now.  She had sixteen hours of sleep in the last three days and it was catching up to her now.

One minute of sleep and she would fall asleep right away, five minutes and she would be thankful, several hours before a major test…heavenly.  Sleep was what she day dreamed of while she studied.  Now that she had it, she was too tired to notice.  Sleep was at the bottom of her list when, in April’s life, she had something that NEEDED to be done.  Sleep was what the very good day dreams were made of while she was doing what made her life even more precious.  Sleep was almost to precious and delicate that she had to think of it without living in it.  Sleep…sleep…sleep.

"I can’t sleep now."  April groggily rubbed her eyes as she sat up and groaned when her back ached from sitting in an awkward position in her chair.  She stood up and stretched her tired muscle while April looked down at her bed.  "Maybe five minutes won’t hurt.  I won’t totally fall asleep."  She nonchalantly walked over to her bed, covered herself, fluffed her pillows, slid her hand under her head, reaxed, and yawned.  She did this slow because of two reasons.  She was tired and she wanted to take in this pleasure piece by piece.

As April climbed in her bed she repeated the same words over and over.  "Just five minutes.  I promise."  Her words were muffled and finally silenced when she fell asleep as she laid her head on the pillows and as her body leaned into the comfort of the covers.

"You don’t understand at all."  April’s eyes were full of yearning and needing and at the same time, frustration.  "I feel like I’m the only one that understands what I want most in life."

"I’m trying to understand April.  You aren’t being that clear."

"Have you ever heard of ‘Wide Open Spaces’?"  When Ann still looked lost April sighed and started to softly hum the Dixie Chicks song.  "She needed wide open spaces…room to make her big mistakes…she needs new faces…she knows the high stakes."

"Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!  That Dixie Chicks song."  Ann turned from serious and confused to jumpy.  She started moving her arms aimlessly as she sang loudly.  "She traveled this road as a child!  Wide eyed and grinning she never tired!  But now she won’t be coming back with…the…rest."  Ann trailed off and her movements stopped when she saw April’s dead serious stance and appearance.  "What?  You don’t like my voice?"

"I need my OWN spaces Ann.  I need to make my own mistakes.  And I certainly didn’t mean for you to start singing that song."

Ann cleared her throat and positioned herself in a more comfortable position.  "Silly Ann.  You know how she acts up at times."  Ann crossed her arms over her chest so that she was comfortable.  "You were saying?"

"I want to go out and…Ann!"

Ann looked up.  "What?"

"You are singing…the…song."

"I was HUMMING.  WAS.  WAS HUMMING.  You have the talking stick.  Go ahead."

"I don’t know why I even bother talking about this with you.  You’re making a huge joke out of this whole thing while I’m trying to be serious."

April shifted on the bed and got into a more comfortable position.

"It’s my job to lighten up the crowd and make your life hell.  I guess I’m doing that well but I can’t help it.  Boss’s orders."

"Whatever.  I’m in college, I have a great life in Newport, I know what I want to do, my head is being held up high, but there’s still something missing."

April coughed and pulled the covers tighter around herself.

"And what is that?"

"Freedom.  Everywhere I turn there’s another one of my friends, professors, family member, even an old person with false teeth saying hello!  I want to leave here and start on my own.  Start on a new sheet of paper."

"Hellloo?  Start on a fresh page in Newport.  Everyone will support you…"

"That’s exactly what I mean.  I don’t want anybody supporting me.  Do you know why my life is the way it is?  Do you know why my life turned out the way it is?  Do you know why I live where I live?"

"Why?"

"Because of my parents.  I never had any say in the matter…until now."

"So you’re saying you’re just going to pack up and leave?  Just leave Newport behind and…"

"That’s not what I’m saying at all.  I have to have a reason to go somewhere and it has to be a GOOD reason.  I NEED to start over and I want to carry on what I love most somewhere else."

Ann couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  This was a close friend and she just wanted to leave?  This is what she really and truly wanted?  Everyone moved on at some point in their lives, but Ann never realized the harsh reality that came with the package.  "So you want to leave Newport and the life you’ve blossomed here?"

That’s not the way April wanted to have to ear it, but it was said and guilty or not, that’s what she really wanted.  She looked down and her voice was soft as she whispered.  "Yeah."

When April looked at her alarm clock groggily and realized the time, her eyes widened and she flung the covers of the side of her bed and scrambled to get up and over to her dresser.  "Damnt!"  While she had no time to think of the previous night’s dreams, she would definitely think them over sometime soon.  All she was worried about now was getting on something comfortable to wear and get her ass over to class to take the test that would see if she was worthy of this career or not.

April looked over her room to make sure she had everything before grabbing her book, throwing it in her bag, and running out the door.  She knew that you shouldn’t take a test on an empty stomach so she stood outside her door before debating whether she should grab something small or not.  The cautious side of April got to the best of her so she unlocked the door as fast as she could and ran to get something before running all way out to her forest green Jeep.

She was trying to eat her banana as fast as she could possibly devour it while drinking from her water bottle.  At every red light she looked over her book on the passenger seat and read as much as she could.  Her brown eyes scanned over the words on her textbook as her long and brown hair constantly fell across her shoulders.  She pulled into a parking space and locked at the clock on her dashboard and realized she still had fifteen minutes before she had to get out of her car and start walking to class to the test.  She pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head and pulled the book to rest on the steering wheel while she read over the words again and again and again. 

Every five minutes she looked at the clock and this time when she looked at it, she pushed her sunglasses higher on her nose, grabbed her bag, and opened her car door before getting out and slamming it behind her.  As she walked to class she quickly threw her hair up in a ponytail loosely to get it out of her face.

All April knew as she walked to class was that she was nervous, suffered from anxiety over this test, and worried how she would do, not to mention her nerves were on edge.  Part of her felt relieved because after the test she didn’t have to study anymore, she could catch up on much needed sleep, and she would finally know if this was the path for her.

When she was a little girl she remembered playing with a plastic doctor’s kit and she would torture her dog even though at the time she didn’t realize why he was groaning and grunting. She figured he was sick and she would be the one to help him.  She always played with her friends and she would be the doctor and her friends would come to her with their make believe problems.  They would all sit in the lobby, the living room, and she would wait in her office, the family room, till one of them came in her ‘office’ to be cured.  One after the other and when she was all done, they would do it all over again. 

If she passed this test, if she would go out in the medical world, she would have her own doctor’s kit to fiddle around with.  Not some Fisher Price plastic kit made in Taiwan, a real kit.

As April walked into the building she threw her sunglasses in her bag and headed for the right classroom.

As the tests were being passed out she was either biting on the eraser of her pencil or tapping her pencil on her desk.  Once she actually started the test, she relaxed some because she knew all of this material.  She pushed aside her tiredness, anxiety, nervousness, and worries for the moment as her knowledge flowed to the front of her brain in order to ace this test.  She knew she could do it, her brain knew she could do it, her confidantes knew she could do it, her professor knew she could do it, heck, everyone she knew, knew she could do it.

After April finished writing the last word for the last question she dropped her now warm pencil and rubbed her aching hand.  She looked up at the clock on the wall and realized it only took her two and a half hours to do the test.  She still had forty-five minutes to check it over and relax.  Maybe even take a nap if she really wanted. 

Memories of a bed…her bed.  Those warm covers that lay on the bed and the two down pillows were calling out April’s name.  She wanted to give in to sleep so badly, but she wanted to wait until she was home so she could rest peacefully.  Then again, Professor Stamens said when a student is finished, they could sleep.  April didn’t know if she should.  Maybe she should check her test over…for the third or forth time.  She knew she did well enough, but well ENOUGH didn’t mean she tried her hardest.  Well enough only meant she had just passed the level that had to be reached.  She needed to make sure.  Just one last check over.  She had to make sure.  She had to get a good grade.  She needed sleep.  Much needed sleep. 

Too much sleep, April thought to herself dreamily.  She put her head over her crossed arms on the desk and she immediately became lax.  I’ll just close my eyes for… April yawned and closed her eyes tightly before putting her head back in her arms.  Just for a…a moment, April finished her thought to herself.

"You need sleep April Lauren!"

"I’m…I’m just fine," April managed to say through a yawn.  "I’m not tired…not tired at…at all.  I swear it."

"April, I’m telling you to get in that bed!"

"But Mommy I’m…I’m not tired at all."  April let out another loud yawn.

April’s mom carried her up the stairs while April kicked furiously against her.  "You need sleep April."

"But I’m just fine.  I promise Mommy."

April’s mom stopped midway up the stairs and held her seven year old daughter in front of her.  She smiled warmly as April rubbed her sleepy eyes and let out a small yawn before putting April’s head back on her shoulder and began walking again. "Don’t swear or promise anything.  You just worry about getting to bed.  You have been up and running the entire weekend and you have school tomorrow.  You also spent many extra hours doing your project for school and that drained you out even more.  I will not tolerate this temper anymore.  You…need…sleep.  It’s almost nine o’clock."  April’s mom placed her child on the bed before covering her.  She giggled softly noticing April had fallen asleep.   She stood up and looked over April thoughtfully.

"But Mommy I’m not tired.  I…I promise…really I…" 

April’s mom sighed in frustration.  "Hush, April.  You’re going to bed and that’s final.  You hear me?"

"Yes, Mommy."

"That’s what I thought."  April’s mom leaned down and kissed April’s forehead before standing up and patting the covers.  "Goodnight."  April’s mom walked out the door, flipping the switch off her way out the door.

April started the ignition on her car and pulled out of the parking space to head back home.  Not only had she felt confident when she was taking the test, she knew she was more than ready for it.  It almost seemed to her as if she studied to hard.  She lightly chuckled when that came across her mind in the classroom.

When she was walking to her car April smiled warmly about the dream she had had.  It was one of those Mother-daughter moments that for some reason she remembered so well.  It would seem like it wasn’t important and just some silly old memory to anyone else, but she wasn’t part of that ‘anyone’ else group.  That exact memory showed how much they cared for each other and April was happy she remembered her childhood like that.  Those moments are what dignified her and gave April more detail of what kind of person she really was.

April didn’t want to sound conceited, arrogant, or like a low-life scum, but she knew that she aced that test.  Now she could sleep and not have to worry about a thing.  When you looked at things in detail you would know that she aced her test, she knew that for a fact that she did, she didn’t need to study anymore, she could be relieved, so that all added up to some much needed sleep.  Right?

Yeah RIGHT.  Now she had something new to worry about.  She had to worry about how she did on the test, if she made it, if she could go on and blossom in that career…if she found a new light that would light up her wall of her life.

I was only a matter of time.  IF she made it, then she could be happy, joyful, grateful, could rest knowing she did it, and cry of happiness.  What if she didn’t make it?  Well, if that sort of thing happened, then her life would be in shambles.  She wouldn’t know what she could possibly do.  Her heart would be broken, this would be a waste, she’d cry tears of sorrow, part of her life would be taken away from her, and most importantly, that new light that was fixtured in her hallway that needed to be turned on in her hallway would fall and shatter in every way possible.  She didn’t know if she could live with that sort of thing. 

April’s thoughts were interrupted when her cell phone rang.  She knew who was calling without a doubt.

"Hi Ann."

"How did you know it was me?"

"Kind of obvious, don’t you think?  Every time something big occurs in my life you just have to be the first caller to know.  I did very well."

Ann breathed a sigh of relief.  "That’s great.  I told you that you didn’t need to study that hard."

"It’s kind of funny, actually.  I was thinking the same thought when I was finishing up my test.  But at least I know that I finished it, did well, and it’s over.  Now all I have to do is wait."

"And let me guess about that new course you have to go through.  You aren’t going to sleep because you are going to be too worried about it, right?  You’re going to bite your nails, chew on your fingers, and stare at the TV like a zombie."

"That’s not true and you know it."

"The first SMALL test you had to take, you went without sleep for about two weeks.  Only catnaps here and there.  This is a MAJOR test and you think that I’m wrong?"  Ann hmphed over the phone.  I’m right and you know it.  You know yourself that this is going to happen, so don’t worry about denying it because it IS going to happen.  Riiiiigght?"

April sighed over the phone.  "You know me too well."

Ann clicked her tongue and smiled knowingly.  "Yes indeed.  Well, hate to break it to you, but I have to go."

"I thank God for small favors."

Ann snickered.  "I have to meet my parents at a restaurant up in North New Jersey.  They want me to visit.  Pray for me."

April laughed over the phone.  "Goodbye Ann.  Hope you have a very, very, VERY boring time."

"Thanks for the wonderful support."

(Three weeks later)

April shifted gears as she sped down the street.  She couldn’t help but feel excited because this was when she would finally find out if her special light would be turned on or not.  Hopefully it would, but she would have to wait a good ten minutes before even entering the building.  Then she would have to go to her professor’s office and that was where they would talk about her final grade. 

Professor Stamens was a great professor and the way she helped her students amazed April.  She was caring, helpful, and most of all, ready to give help for those who needed it no matter what the problem was.  Someone could come to ask her a brainy math question or a quest student in Literature that wanted to understand Shakespeare’s talents and she would undoubtedly give them their undivided attention.  April came to her for Literature and Professor Stamens was even able to help her in art.  April looked up to her middle aged professor and wasn’t hesitant whenever she needed help because April knew that she could always could confide in her teachers. 

Teachers of all kinds that were willing to help.  Her mother was a teacher, because after all, who taught April the proper way to set the table?  Her mother used to own a bakery and she taught April how to knead the dough.  Now April’s mother, Lauren, was a designer.  Owning a bakery was just for fun that she knew would only last a while until she had gotten bored of it and move on to what she would forever enjoy.  Lauren had a degree in designing so it was all ready for her.

Her father was a surgeon who worked at a hospital close to where her mother and he lived.  Her father, Christopher, taught her how to use her play doctor’s kit and she also remembered playing doctor with him as well.  When he was at the hospital doing what he had worked so hard for, she used her stuffed animals and she even played doctor with her barbie dolls when she was in the bathtub. 

Barbie, as she referred to it, was someone who always got her blonde hair stuck in the drain or whose hair was ‘accidentally’ chopped off.  No matter where she went, she had her doctor’s kit with her.  She brought it to preschool and instead of eating playdough she sat by herself totally entertained by what she was doing.  When she was in kindergarten she didn’t eat glue that all the children pasted their projects with, she drew doctor’s instruments.  And when it was nap time she held her stethoscope close to her kit right beside her.

April pushed her sunglasses onto the top of her head before walking into her professor’s office.  Before opening the door she said a quick and silent prayer before sighing.  "This is it."  She took a deep breath and knocked on the door before coming in.

Professor Stamen looked up from what she was reading and took her reading glasses off so she could smile warmly at April.  She waved a hand towards a chair in front of her desk and April sat down.  "Hello April.  I’m so glad to see you.  Have a seat because I really would like to talk to you about your test results.

April’s face was full of dread.  Her smile fell along with her spirits and hope.  This could be bad or good.  Bad meaning she bombed it totally and Professor Stamens was not only upset at her, she was upset WITH her.  Then again, it could be good.  She did well and Professor Stamens would like to talk to her about her talents and future.

Uh oh.

"I know that there are many ways to think of what I have just finished telling you, but I’m going to lay it all out on the table for you and I’m going to be as blunt as I possibly can."  She paused and searched for a sign of understanding April’s face.  “Is that okay with you?"

"Uh, certainly.  How did I do?"

"You scored way above average."

April couldn’t help the beaming smile that crept across her relieved and stress free face.  "How well…above average?"

"April, you scored a ninety-seven on your final and I couldn’t be prouder of you.  I knew you carried the knowledge and I knew you could do it easily.  I wanted YOU to figure that out on your own because after all, you will be making your own choices in the future.  Am I correct?"

April managed to wipe away her dreamy expression and pushed her excitement aside.  Most of it for that matter, and focused on what Professor Stamens was saying.  "Yeah, you’re one hundred percent correct."

She smiled at April.  "I know from experience if I must say.  Now, about the test."  She cleared her throat and continued.  "I was highly impressed by your writing skill that you used on the essay and writing parts of the test and was even more impressed by the way you answered the questions in a dignified way…even if you weren’t talking.  People have a voice, April, and yours shines through like the afternoon sun.  I know you study hard and I know you try your best and it has all paid off.  What I say next is of great importance and you have to understand this.  If you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask because like I said, you must know what I’m about to say."

April cleared her throat.  "Go ahead."

"Everyone’s tests and scores were sent to professors around the country.  To go in greater detail, higher professors than us which means one thing and one thing only.  People are going to call you, people are going to call you constantly.  They will ask and interrogate you about your ability to learn, what kind of knowledge you contain, and YOU.  They will get in touch with you and I will give you a piece of advice.  You can always tell what someone is like, you will always have a first impression of someone even if it is over the phone.  Pay attention to the way they present themselves, the way they talk, and the way they interact.  If you go along with someone, even if they teach at Harvard or Yale, and they turn out to be arrogant, you will be left in a sticky situation.  You will have turned down others and you would be stuck in the middle tightly.  Take to heart what I have just told you and this meeting is dismissed if you have no further questions."

"Well, I think I have a couple, but they are just to reassure me."

"Ask away and do NOT be shy."

"I will get calls to go to different colleges?  Better ones?"

"Yes."

"And they might be in other states or areas?"

"Other states without a doubt."

"And I am free to accept them?"

"Most positively."

"And it will cost a great deal to move and attend the school?"

"You will be relocating and whoever you have chosen to go with, you have an academic scholarship. You won’t have to do a thing or pay besides packing and let the movers do the rest."

"Okay, I think I’m getting this."

"Good.  This meeting is now over and I wish you the very best luck because April, to tell you the truth, you deserve it.  You don’t deserve the luck, you deserve what you are capable of doing and being asked to fulfill that dream."

"Thank you very much and I will get going now."  April collected her belongings and heading for her car.  "Now it’s only a matter of time."

Professor Stamen’s sat back in her chair as she watched April close the door behind her.  "That girl has just been accepted into a new light.  She has no idea what is coming her way and I’ll be damned if she gets less then what she deserves.  She has worked too long and too hard.  All I’m asking is for a little bit of hope and help.  That is the very least of what she deserves."

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