Claudia ran towards
Josh’s apartment building, covering her head with her arms in an attempt
to keep some of her body dry in the pouring rain. She dodged mud puddles
and mounds of snow that had not yet melted as she approached the cement steps.
She pulled open the door and let herself inside the small corridor. Wiping
rain drops off of her face she reached to press the intercom for Josh’s apartment
when she noticed him standing a few feet in front of her.
An amused smile crossed his face when
he saw her wet form. “Is it a little wet outside this evening?” he teased.
“You look like you could have used an umbrella.”
“Josh, we have to talk,” Claudia said.
His smile faded when he detected the
seriousness of her tone.
“Sure, what’s up?”
What’s up. Now what do I say? How
do I tell him this?
She bit her lip and wrinkled her brow
as she watched him stand before her. His face showed concern for her, but
he couldn’t hide his amusement at the sight of her soaking wet clothes and
dripping hair that was matted down to her head.
“Jacob proposed to me,” she blurted,
her heart pounding.
Josh’s face fell at her words his amusement
disappearing suddenly. His eyebrows lowered with confusion and his face grew
pale. “He what?” Josh repeated.
She let out a long breath and repeated
it calmly. “He asked me to marry him.”
A long silence filled the small space
between them. The only sound was the heavy rain pounding against the glass
behind them.
“I don’t believe this,” Josh muttered.
“I can’t believe this is happening again.”
Now it was Claudia’s time to be confused.
“Again?” she repeated. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I have
to tell you something.”
He looked at her with pain in his eyes.
“So that’s your decision? You’re going to marry him and forget all about
me?”
She rushed to finish. “No, Josh. Just
let me explain-”
“I’ve already heard this explanation
once, I couldn’t bear to hear it again!” he declared, the anger rising in
his voice.
“Josh, I don’t know what you’re talking
about. What do you mean you’ve already heard this explanation once?” she
cried.
He paced in front of her for a long
moment and then finally stopped and glared into her hazel eyes. “Remember
when we first met I pushed you away and wouldn’t let you in?”
She didn’t understand where this was
going, but she nodded anyway.
“And remember how I said that I would
have a hard time trusting you but that I was willing to try?”
She nodded again.
“The reason I was so afraid to trust
you is because of my ex-girlfriend.” He hesitated and sighed. “I guess I
might as well tell it from the beginning.” He paused for a long moment before
continuing.
“It was about two years ago. My girlfriend
and I were going to celebrate our ten-month anniversary. So I made her favorite
dinner, lit candles all over the apartment and bought her a beautiful present…”
he paused, his eyes distant as if he were reliving the moment. “I loved her
so much, I just wanted to try to express it to her. I wanted to tell her
that she meant the world to me…but when she got there, she came to me with
a ring on her finger and told me that she was in love with someone else.”
Claudia’s eyes widened with surprise.
“Ten months together and she had been
cheating on me the whole time. And on top of that, she was pregnant with
his kid.”
(Flashback)
“Okay, you can open your eyes now,”
he told the beautiful blond in front of him.
She opened her eyes and found the apartment
decorated with candles, soft music playing and a beautiful candle lit dinner
just for her. “JC, this is…it’s really…nice,” she said half-heartedly.
“What’s the matter, don’t you like
it? I made your favorite; prime rib and pasta,” he told her with a smile.
“No, it’s great…it’s just…it’s just
that I have something to tell you.”
He came closer to her and held her
face in his hands. “What is it, baby? You know you can tell me anything,”
he soothed.
“This is really hard to say…”
The look on her face was worrying him.
“I love you and whatever it is, we can handle it together,” he assured her.
“Josh, I’m pregnant,” she blurted.
“Pregnant?” he repeated. “Are you sure?”
She nodded. “I went to the doctor yesterday.
I’m positive.”
A smile spread across his face. “Baby,
that’s great!” he exclaimed, pulling her into a hug.
She pulled away from his embrace. “No,
JC. You don’t understand.”
“Understand? What’s there to understand?
We love each other and we made a baby together.” Seeing the uncertainty on
her face he rushed to continue. “Don’t worry about a thing, baby. We can
handle this. We can take on anything!”
“It’s not your child.”
His face fell with disbelief at her
shocking words. He stood in shock for a long time, not knowing what to do
or say. Unable to find the words. “What?” he whispered.
She held up her left hand, with tears
gleaming in her eyes, and showed him the diamond on her ring finger. “I’m
getting married next year.”
At that moment, his heart fell to the
floor and shattered into thousands of tiny pieces as he stared at the ring.
“Getting married?”
“I’m so sorry JC, I never meant to
hurt you. I never meant for any of this to happen.” She searched his eyes,
hoping to find understanding or forgiveness. “I’ve been juggling my feelings
for months now, but I’ve made my decision. He’s the one for me and I’m going
to spend the rest of my life with him.”
His mouth was so dry he wasn’t sure
he could speak. He swallowed hard. “You mean this has been going on the whole
time?”
“I wanted to tell you so badly, but
I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“The whole time?” he repeated. The
room was spinning and he felt dizzy and nauseous. He wasn’t sure if he was
going to scream, cry or throw up. “So this is it?” he asked. “You’ve chosen
him and now it’s over? You’re going to throw away all the memories we’ve
made, all the beautiful moments we’ve shared… just like that?”
“I’m sorry JC, but this is the way
it has to be.” She stepped forward and kissed his cheek gently, then stepped
back and looked into his eyes one last time. “Bye, JC.”
She turned and reached for the door,
let herself out and closed the door behind her.
“No. Diana, you can’t go,” he pleaded
into the empty apartment. “I love you. You’re all I’ve got left!”
She left him standing there alone in
his apartment and alone in the world. He had nowhere to run or to hide; no
one to turn to or confide in. No one but himself.
Nothing.
(End Of Flashback)
“She broke my heart so badly
I couldn’t let anyone else into my life without fear that they would hurt
me or betray me in some way. I turned into a lonely, bitter man…until you
came along.”
Until you came along…there were those
words again.
“Innocent, sweet, charming, Claudia.”
he recalled, a bittersweet smile tracing his lips. “You were so persistent.
The strange interest you had in me slowly began to break down my barrier.
Remember when I said I couldn’t be your friend anymore and I didn’t tell
you why? Well this is why. Not only was I afraid of being hurt but I was
afraid of falling for you too.”
Claudia was speechless. All this time,
she had wondered what his reason was and now she knew. “That was your reason?
You were afraid of falling for me?”
He nodded. “When I found out you were
with Jacob, I just knew I’d end up getting hurt. I knew I’d fall for you
and that I wouldn’t be able to have you. And guess what? That’s exactly what
happened. I got hurt in the same way as before except this time I knew about
it. I let myself fall into the trap.”
Neither of them spoke. The sound of
a harsh wind banging against the door filled the silence between them. Claudia
was shocked at the new information. It made so much sense she couldn’t believe
she hadn’t figured it out sooner. Whaddya know, she thought, Nicole was right
all along.
“I tried so hard not to fall for you,
Claude. I fought it with everything I had because I didn’t want to end up
with a broken heart again. But you reached the side of me that I’ve hidden
for so long. You brought that out and reminded me of all the good things
in life that I’d been missing out on. You introduced me to the world in a
whole new perspective…and I began to find you irresistible. I could be a
complete jerk to you and push you away but that didn’t stop you. You didn’t
give up on me like everyone else. And when I could see that really cared
about me, I finally started to let my guard down. Slowly I began to gain
trust in you. I could see in your eyes that you were falling for me too,”
he continued. “While my head told me that it was too good to be true, my
heart had faith.” His voice turned icy and he looked at her with cold eyes.
“But I was wrong to trust you and I ended up getting hurt again.”
By this time, tears collected in the
corners of Claudia’s eyes. She knew he was hurt but he still hadn’t let her
explain.
“Josh, I-”
“Get out,” he interrupted.
“What?”
“Get out. Leave. Leave me alone. I’m
hurt and I’m angry and I don’t want to start saying things that I don’t mean.
For your own sake, please just go.”
“Josh, please-” she tried.
But he refused to listen. “I don’t
want to hear your apologies. I let you in and you let me down. I trusted
you and you broke that trust. That’s all there is to it. I…don’t…want…to…be…hurt…anymore.”
His pain and his anger were more than
she could stand. He had the same look on his face as he did the first time
she walked into the studio and found him. It had disappeared for so long
and now he was heartbroken and his anger resurfaced. And she was the cause
of the shattered expression on his face.
The horrible memories of his past,
of the woman he loved who had hurt him so badly, came flooding back to him
as he was being hurt again in the same way. Never, had Josh imagined that
he would be betrayed just as he had before, that he would let himself fall
in love with a woman who was only leading him on all along.
He was angry with Claudia, but also
angry with himself. How could he be so stupid? How could he let someone into
his life again, knowing he could get hurt? Now all he wanted was for her
to be as far away from her as possible. He could hardly bear to look her
in the eyes any longer.
Josh wasn’t oblivious to the tears
that were wetting her cheeks but it didn’t change his anger towards her.
She had broken his heart and if she was going to cry…so be it.
“Before I go, I just want to say what
I came here to say,” she said quietly, her voice shaking.
Josh wasn’t interested in hearing what
she had to say, but he waited impatiently for her to continue anyway.
“I came here to tell you that Jacob
proposed to me… and that I turned him down.”
Josh’s head jerked up at her words
in surprise. Claudia held up her ring-less hand.
“See?” she said. “No ring. I also came
here to tell you… that I’m falling in love with you.”
Josh’s eyes finally met hers.
“I don’t love Jacob, I love you. I
finally realized that Jacob has been treating me horribly and that I’ve been
falling for you all this time.” Her voice cracked with a sob and more tears
slipped down her cheeks. “I’m sorry if she broke your heart and I’m sorry
if I did that too. But I’m not leaving you for Jacob because I know that
my feelings for you are more real that anything I’ve ever felt.” She sniffled
and wiped her face. “I realize that you’re really hurt right now and if you
want me to leave, I will.”
She stared at him through her tears,
waiting for him to respond. But he was speechless. He hadn’t expected her
to confess her feelings for him and he certainly hadn’t expected for her
to say that she had turned down Jacob’s proposal.
As her words slowly began to sink in
his anger slowly began to fade away. She hadn’t been leading him on. She
had loved him all along. Now he felt like an idiot and didn’t know what to
say.
Claudia mistook his speechlessness,
thinking that he had nothing to say to her and wanted her to leave.
“I’m so sorry, Josh,” she whispered,
remorsefully. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I can see that’s exactly what
I’ve done. I haven’t been fair to you. I understand if you never want to
see me again.” She stared at him with sad, guilt stricken eyes for a long
moment before finally, she turned to the door and let herself out.
Claudia ran into the pelting raindrops,
welcoming the storm. She couldn’t tell the difference between the rain drops
and the tears on her face.
I’ve been so unfair to him. I’ve
been leading him on all this time and I finally just hurt him too much.
She ran harder, desperate to get away.
Her heels sunk into the mud that covered the ground, forcing her pace to
a quick stride. Thunder crashed in the distance, lighting up the sky for
a brief moment.
Her head jerked up quickly at the sound
of a yell in the distance. For a split second, she thought it was Josh calling
for her, but she knew it couldn’t be true. He would never chase her down
after being hurt by her so badly.
But she heard it again and slowly she
turned around to find Josh several yards in front of her. His dark hair was
already dripping wet and had flattened to his head. His clothes were getting
soaked by the minute and began clinging to his body.
They stood, out of breath in the pouring
rain, staring at one another for what felt like hours. Finally, Josh took
a few steps toward her.
“Do you mean it? What you said?” he
called to her over the rain that smacked against the pavement.
She nodded quickly. “Yes. Every word.”
He moved closer until he was only inches
away from her. He studied her pleading eyes, raindrops clinging to their
lashes, searching them for the truth. His eyes explored her face, taking
in her beauty as if seeing her for the first time. Even then, soaking wet
in the pouring rain, she was beautiful.
“Did you know you look beautiful no
matter what you do?” Josh reached out and cupped her cheek with his hand
and grazed his thumb over her bottom lip. Just like last time, she closed
her eyes and leaned into his touch. “Claudia,” he breathed.
She opened her eyes to look at him.
And suddenly, he had no idea what to
say. All words and thoughts had escaped his mind. So many emotions stirred
around inside of him that he couldn’t form them into words.
So he did the next best thing and covered
her mouth with his.
The kiss was unexpected and Claudia
was surprised by his action, but she didn’t object. She relaxed against him
and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer.
This kiss was even better than the
first. It was electric and passionate; kissing in the pouring rain. Finally
everything was falling into place and that made this kiss even more wonderful.
His lips felt just as perfect as they
had before and he kissed her just the way she liked; slow and romantic.
Finally, breathless, Claudia pulled
away, panting heavily. Josh leaned forward and rested his forehead against
hers, looking into her eyes while trying to catch his breath.