In My Life...MulderIn My Life...Mulder 
By Megan Greytak 
starbuck_trinity@yahoo.com 



Classification: MSR...definitely

Rating: PG, maybe a little PG13ish, but if you're reading fanfic, it's nothing
you haven't already heard.

Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to the almighty Chris Carter
and 1013 Productions, as well as Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny, as well
as all others who play the roles. I'm not making any money off of this story,
so don't sue me. I'm just a poor college student; I wait tables when I'm on
vacation, so I have very little money. All my money has been tied up in X-
Files stuff, so that's all you'll get if you sue! Oh, yeah. Any song or movie
or other trademarked product mentioned within belongs to whomever made
it/produced it/acted it/sang it, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Feedback: Yes, please. I would very much like! I'll do my best to respond
asap. Any flames will be used to crucify those who send them. Criticize me,
but make it nice!

Distribution: Any where, just leave my name and addy and disclaimer stuff with
it!  Oh yeah, let me know, too.

Spoilers: Anything up thru midseason 5, but specifically Memento Mori, Small
Potatoes, Redux/Redux II, and Christmas Carol/Emily.

Author's notes: I apologize to anyone who gets this twice, but if it's the
first time, read it, please!! Other notes are at the end......so on with the
show!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In My Life...



The day I found out that Dana Scully had cancer was the worst day of my life.
I thought I'd had bad days before, but nothing compared to the agony those
three words, "I have cancer," brought to my heart. It felt like someone had
ripped out my still-beating heart and tap-danced all over it.



Not even Samantha's abduction compared to this pain. Don't get me wrong; I
love my sister dearly, but, after all, I was just a kid when it happened. I
now know that there wasn't anything I could have done to prevent it, that it
wasn't my fault. Not this time, though.



It was my fault Scully got sick. Because she was with me. Because I was too
selfish to give her up. If only I hadn't let her in. Maybe if I hadn't told
her the Samantha story so early on, things would be different. (Everybody has
20/20 hindsight, don't they?)



But despite how suspicious I was of her and her motives, I trusted her. I
trusted her with my life, with my beliefs, my fears, and my deepest, darkest
secrets. I trusted her with everything about me, and I trusted her to keep me
safe.



But back to that fateful day. I wallowed in my self-pity for a while, only
thinking about me, how this was going to affect me. But then I realized
something. If this...death sentence, if you will, had this effect on me, if it
made me feel like this, then it must be a billion times worse for Scully. I
mean, she's the one with cancer, who's dying.



So, I became determined. Determined to make her happy, to make her
comfortable, to make her well. But she wouldn't let me. She wanted to be
strong, and independent, not to lean on anyone for strength. But I did all I
could, all that she would let me do. I supported her, and I was always there
when she needed someone, whether she needed someone to talk to, or to help her
out of bed in the morning when she was too weak to walk, or to hold her hair
back when she started throwing up her food.



Then I learned that her cancer was spreading quickly, that she was dying. I
was ready to die, too, if she left me. I absolutely could not live without
her. I wouldn't live without her. She's my heart. If someone takes away your
heart, you can't live.



And the guilt. Oh, God, the guilt. I couldn't help feeling that this was all
my fault. What was worse was that I knew it was my fault. I never should have
let her got involved. But, like I said before, I was selfish. No matter how
hard I tried, I couldn't give her up. Not even in the beginning, before I knew
her. I guess I knew she was the one. The "one" what, I wasn't quite sure. Just
the one.



So, I searched high and low, heaven and earth, for a cure for her, formal or
not. And with a lot of help, I found it. Or what may have been it. I still
can't be sure. No one knows exactly what it was that saved her, but at that
point, it didn't matter.



When she told me that her cancer had gone into remission, I got down on my
knees and thanked anyone was listening. I cried my eyes out in happiness.
Scully joined me in my tears. (Or maybe I joined her, but I suppose it doesn't
really matter, does it?) Then I went over and hugged her harder than I've ever
hugged anyone in my entire life.



Finally, Scully was safe. She wasn't sick any more. The relief I felt was
amazing. But the guilt wasn't gone (I guess that's the trouble with a Jewish
upbringing; you never have a problem with feeling guilty. It's just sort of in
the genes). I still felt responsible. I still felt that so much had been taken
away from her because of me: her sister, her health, her ability to have
children. That was the worst of all. She'd never be able to have children and
it was all my fault.



But Scully...she seemed to know what I was feeling. The day I brought her home
from the hospital, I was very quiet. Of course, I was ecstatic that she was
better, but I was wallowing again. When we pulled up in front of her building,
she took my hand, smiled and said, "I'm okay, Mulder, and it's not your fault.
Don't blame yourself." Then she hugged me. Some of the guilt left, but not all
of it.



Things started to get back to "normal." We started working on the X-Files
again and despite a few visits to the doctor for check ups, everything was
good. Then came Emily.



God, Scully loved Emily. I loved her, too. She was so sweet and innocent, and
so undeserving of what had been done to her, of her fate, of how she came into
this world. She should have been Scully's child. Not some poor little creature
created (that's a bit redundant) by people who just wanted to use her for
their own evil purposes.



Then Emily died (we think) and Scully's heart completely shattered. And I had
no idea how to fix it. I couldn't stand the pain in her eyes when she looked
at Emily's little coffin. But she didn't wallow in it. She mourned, then
carried on, though Emily will always live in her heart.



But Emily made Scully think. Made her think about children and how much she
wanted one. And all that guilt came back to me. More than anything else, I
wanted her to be happy. But once again, she told me it wasn't my fault. I
tried to argue with her, but she wouldn't allow me to take the blame for it.
But she just kept telling me, it wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault, it
wasn't my fault. And she told me that if I blamed myself, she'd kick my ass.
So I shaped up. Or tried to.



Even though Scully said she was "fine" (typical Scully), I could tell that she
was really bummed about Emily. So, in an attempt to make her feel better, I
took her to see "Titanic." Poor thing cried her eyes out during that movie.
That's how I could tell she really liked it: she cried and let me see her cry.
Very rarely does she let anyone see her cry, so the movie really must have
gotten to her. For a while after that, just seeing or hearing a commercial or
advertisement that had something to do with "Titanic" would make her tear up.
I thought that it was a very good movie, myself. I wouldn't say the best, but
still really good. But for some reason, the theme song, "My Heart Will Go On,"
really affected me.



Every time I hear it, I think of Scully. Actually, I'm always thinking about
Scully, so I guess I just thought about her even more. So being glutton for
punishment, I bought the soundtrack. Scully loved the song, too; she got me to
make a copy of it for her and played it constantly. So one day, I went to buy
the soundtrack for her, but I couldn't find a single copy of "Titanic," so I
bought the other album it's on, that new Celine Dion CD, "Let's Talk About
Love."



Anyway, I'm off the subject. About three months after we saw the movie, we
talked. I mean a real conversation. We were just down in our office one day,
working on a case when we just...got off the subject and started talking. I
really don't remember what it was that got us so distracted, it was probably
something simple, but I guess that doesn't matter. We talked about everything
and anything. We even wound up telling each other where we lost our
virginities. We haven't had a conversation like that in, well, maybe we'd
never had a conversation like that before, unless you count the one with Eddie
Van Blundht, but since I technically wasn't a part of that, it really doesn't
count.



Eventually, we realized that it was extremely late, and that we should
probably go home, so we reluctantly ended our little talk. But before she
could leave, I decided to bring up one more interesting topic. I told her I
loved her. And before she could say anything, I kissed her (sounds like
something from a movie, I know. Where do you think I got my inspiration?).



I figured that within one second, she'd pull away and smack me, so imagine my
surprise when she kissed me back. And kissed me, and kissed me, and kissed me.
I was only too happy to respond in kind. I think we kissed for about five
minutes straight. And it was the most wonderful, fantastic five minutes of my
life. In my whole life, I'd never experienced anything that beautiful. Just
thinking about the passion, and tenderness, and sincerity, and honesty in that
first kiss still sends chills down my spine.



Then she pulled away and said, "I love you." Those three words brought a joy
to my heart that was equivocal to the pain the three words, "I have cancer,"
brought to it. Then we kissed again, better, much, MUCH better than the first
time (though how that was possible I'll never know). But there was more
passion, more tenderness, more sincerity. The love and electricity were
tangible in the air. I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her up so that
she was level with me, and so we wouldn't have to strain as much to kiss. But
I guess she didn't like dangling in mid-air like that because she wrapped her
legs around me and held on for dear life.



We pulled away...God, I don't know how many minutes later, and we realized
that not only were we making out at work, but the door was wide open, so
anyone who ventured down to the basement might see us. It wasn't likely to
happen, but you could never be too careful.



I gently put her back on the floor, then we agreed to meet at her place in two
hours. And it was destined to be the longest two hours of my life.



I went home to shower and shave, and change into some clothes that were easy
to get out of (in case of an emergency, like a fire or something. Safety
first, you know). All that, driving home, showering, shaving, and changing,
all that, only took me forty-five minutes, so I decided to jump the gun and
drive to Scully's apartment.



I intended to wait outside until the time was up, but my heart got the better
of me (Okay, fine, it was my hormones, all right? There was a lot of blood
pumping, but it wasn't in my heart, if you catch my drift). So I hurried into
her building and knocked on her door. She answered promptly.



Within two seconds of her opening the door, we were in each other's arms. All
that existed, all that mattered, was us. That's all that we cared about. I
just wanted to make her happy.



But I was nervous. Actually, I was terrified. I'd never been with someone I
really loved before. Sure, I'd cared about them, but not like this. I was so
afraid of hurting her, I was actually shaking.



She pulled away from what one might call a smoldering embrace (which it
actually was) and looked me straight in the eyes. She was shaking, too. Then
she smiled at me. Not some big, crazy, demonic grin, but a soft, gentle smile
that let me know that let me know that everything would be all right. I
returned the smile, then we went at it again.



I wasn't sure what she wanted to do or how far she wanted to go, and I sure as
hell didn't want to push her. I just let things take a natural course. She
pulled my jacket off, then managed to pull my shirt over my head without us
hardly even breaking apart. So I pulled off her shirt (in the same manner).
Then I had to stand back and take a look.



Maybe it sounds perverted, but I wanted to see her chest. I'd never really
seen it before, so I wanted to see it now that I had the opportunity. And it
was beautiful. The most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my entire life (up to
that point, that is).



And she didn't seem to mind. She just waited patiently for me to stop
drooling, then we were back in each other's arms.



So we started working on each other's pants. Very quickly, we were standing
before each other in nothing but underwear. We each drooled a bit this time,
but not too long because we were eager to see what was actually under the
wear.



We kept our eyes on each other as we undressed these last few steps. I put my
arms around Scully to unhook her bra, then slid it off in a way which I hope
didn't come across as too eager. Then we just did the rest ourselves.



I just stared at her. Seeing her naked was truly the most incredible,
beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my entire life. I'm not quite sure how she
felt about seeing me in my nothingness, but the look on her face seemed to be
very appreciative.



I know my attraction to her was obvious (in more ways than one), and seeing
her standing there like that, looking at me like that, didn't do my condition
any good (or a lot of good, depending on your point of view). I needed to do
something about the situation.



I took her in my arms again and kissed her. Then we both started moving toward
the bedroom. I was amazed at how comfortable I felt about being naked with
her. The whole situation was like a dream come true.



We reached the bed and fell onto it together. I pulled away before anything
else could happen, and asked if she was sure wanted to do this. She just
smiled at me and pulled my head down to hers, and kissed me. The rest of the
night, well, it's fairly easy to imagine what happened after that.



It was amazing. And extremely extended. We kept going until we were too
exhausted to continue. Maybe it sounds impossible, but it's the truth. And I
know that it sounds stereotypical to just jump into bed with someone when you
say that you love them, but it felt different this time. I really love her.
And I knew that we'd be together forever, so why not start the rest of our
lives as soon as possible?



I have to admit, I wasn't too sure what would happen after we'd...well, you
know, done the deed. I figured there might be some discomfort, or awkwardness,
and I was scared stiff that she'd regret it. But none of that happened. When
it was over, we just lay there in each other's arms, in a comfortable, albeit
tired, silence.



I wanted to say something, preferably something deep and profound to describe
what I was feeling, for her and at that moment, but nothing came to mind. It
felt like it was on the tip of my tongue, but for the life of me I couldn't
spit it out. But then she looked up at me with those big blue eyes of hers and
said, "I know," then hugged me. And with that, we fell asleep in each others
arms, feeling, at last, complete.



We continued on like that, going to work every day, acting normal, then going
home together in the evenings, for several months. We never let our personal
relationship interfere with our working one. If anything, I'd say our work got
better. I don't why we started to work even better together. Maybe the sex (or
"lovemaking," as Scully liked to call it, and I guess that's what it was
because it wasn't cheap; it was deep and meaningful) loosened us up and got
rid of the frustration we were constantly feeling. It is a lot easier to work
without all that sexual tension.



The only bad thing about our relationship was that we had to keep it private.
We couldn't tell anyone about it, not even our families. We couldn't even go
out in public together and act like a couple; we always had to be Agents
Mulder and Scully. More than anything else, I wanted to let the world know
that I was in love with Dana Scully. But since I couldn't, I had to let her
know in private, time and time again. I told her I loved her at every
opportunity I got.



Then, one day, I decided to move on. We were at her (well, actually, by that
point, it was our) apartment, eating pizza when I decided to tell her. I was
worried about her reaction, but I knew that the time had come.



Anyway, we were on the couch, facing each other, eating pizza, when I reached
down into the cushions of the couch to retrieve what I had hidden there. I
pulled it out, then, with my heart pounding, asked her to marry me.



I don't think she was expecting it because she stopped chewing on her pizza
and stared at me, her eyes as big as saucers. Then she started to
hyperventilate, and very nearly choked on her food, but managed to swallow
without killing herself. She continued to stare at me like I was growing a
second head as I blurted out how much I loved her, that I wanted to be with
her forever, yadda, yadda, yadda. I think I just wanted to get it all out
before she laughed in my face and/or said no.



But she didn't do either. She just swallowed again (I guess out of
nervousness), took the little velvet box out of my hand, and asked in the
sweetest, cutest voice I've ever heard, "Is this for me?"



I smiled and said, "Duh."



She was about to put the ring on her finger when I grabbed it from her and
told her she had to say, "yes," first.



She just looked at me and said, "Duh." But I waited. I wanted to hear her say
it. So finally, after several long, drawn-out moments, she just said, "YES!"
Then I slid the ring on her finger. Scully then proceeded to cry, saying how
much she loved me and how beautiful the ring was.



The ring. It screamed "Scully." I'd actually had it for a long time. Okay,
years. Yes, I know it's sad, but the first time I saw it, I knew that it
belonged on Scully. So I bought it. It's not like I have to really worry about
finances, though, because my father left me an amazing amount of money (blood
money, I suppose) when he died. And the expression on her face when she saw
the ring was absolutely priceless.



Then she grabbed my shirt, pulled me toward her, and kissed me better than
she'd ever kissed me before. In no time, I was lying on top of her on the
couch, knowing where the evening was heading when I pulled back and said that
her brother wouldn't be too happy. Her response to that kind of shocked me.



"Screw my brother," Scully said adamantly.



"No thanks," I said. "He's not my type. I'll stick to you."



She laughed at that (dear God in heaven, I love to hear her laugh) and just
held me in her arms, a humongous smile across her face. 



Several days later, Saturday, we decided to go to her mother's house to drop
the bomb. As fate would have it (damn Murphy), when we pulled up to the house,
Bill's car was already there.



Immediately, I was nervous. More so than I already was. But Scully just
squeezed my hand and told me not to worry because she was going to marry me
whether or not her brother approved. That made me feel better, but I was still
nervous. I know how Bill felt about me; the man hates my guts. He felt that
everything bad that had happened to his family since Scully started working
with me (aside from their father's death) was my fault. I was not looking
forward to telling him that I was going to marry his sister.



I was a bit nervous about telling Scully's mom, too. Hell, I knew she was
crazy about me because I took care of her "baby-girl Dana," but she also
probably felt a little wary about me none the less.



I considered telling Scully that maybe we should just hold off on telling her
mom (at least until Bill went home), but by that point it was too late; we
were already knocking on the door. Within a minute, Margaret had thrown open
the door and had her arms around Scully in a giant bear hug. Then Bill came to
the door and hugged Scully while she was still wrapped in her mother's arms.
It took a full two minutes before they realized that I was standing behind
her. Of course, her mom hugged me; as tight as she'd just hugged her daughter.
Bill gave me a weak hello.



Anyway, we were ushered into the house. We'd barely taken our coats off when
Scully said she had an announcement to make. Her mother and brother gave her
looks that said, "What the hell is going on?" but let her speak her piece.



I can't remember exactly what she said, but it went something along the lines
of, "I probably should have told you sooner, but circumstances beyond my
control sort of prevented it. Anyway, for the past five months, I've been
involved with someone. (Their mouths gaped open) I know, I know. And on
Wednesday, he asked me to marry him...and...I said, 'yes.'"



Margaret immediately jumped up and hugged her daughter, babbling happily about
how she'd finally found someone, or some deliriously happy, motherish
something. Bill hugged her, too, congratulating her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Then it seemed to occur to them that they didn't know who she was going to
marry. So her mother started begging to know who the "lucky man" was,
practically jumping up and down.



Scully looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, then stepped forward to take
her hand. That gesture took several seconds to register with her family, but
when it finally did, her mother was all over me and Scully, babbling something
about how it was meant to be, she'd been waiting for this day, yada, yada,
yada.



Meanwhile, Bill was gaping at us as if we had antlers sprouting out of our
heads. He was not happy, to put it mildly.



After her mother had finished smothering us, Bill dragged his sister into the
kitchen, leaving me alone in the living room with my soon-to-be mother-in-law.
I wasn't quite sure what to say to her (I think the fact that I was doing her
daughter would not make a good conversation piece), but she seemed to have
enough to day for the both of us.



She started telling me how happy she was that Dana had picked me, that we were
perfect for each other, that she knew I'd take care of her baby, that Dana had
been in love with me for years (and vice versa!). It was very amusing to
listen to her excitement about the situation.



Her excitement was temporarily drawn to a halt when we heard a door slam. We
looked up and Scully calmly walked into the room, her face neutral. Bill
followed her several seconds later, his expression unreadable.



Without saying a word, Scully walked up to me, stood on tiptoe, put her arms
around me and kissed me. Maybe "kiss" is too mild a word. Tried to suck my
spleen out may have been more accurate. But, hey, I'm not complaining. I love
the way she kisses me. And I knew that it was partially to irritate her
brother.



She pulled back several minutes later, told me she loved me, then gave Bill a
dirty look. Her mother, who had been watching us in surprise, caught the look.
She looked at Bill, and sat that he was shooting daggers at me. He stopped and
looked down, almost embarrassed, when he saw that his mother had noticed the
look. Margaret took him by the arm, as if he were still a little kid, and
dragged him off to the kitchen.

I asked Scully what had happened between her and Bill, but all she would say
was that it didn't matter, Bill was just a jerk. Before I could question her
further, though, Tara walked downstairs, carrying baby Matthew in her arms. I
never did find out what happened between Dana and Bill.



Anyway, Tara had been upstairs bathing Matthew and didn't even realize we were
there until she came downstairs. So Scully stuck her left hand in Tara's face,
wiggling her ring finger around and said, "Mulder and I are engaged!" The two
of them started jumping up and down, which Matthew enjoyed thoroughly, and
screaming like little kids.



After they'd settled down and Tara had hugged us both, she wanted to know
where her husband and mother-in-law were. 



Scully told her that Bill was in the kitchen getting lectured about the proper
etiquette for treating a new family member.



Tara apologized for the way her husband was acting, but I told her not to
worry about it because we didn't need his approval to be together. All we
needed was each other.



All Scully could do was nod in agreement before her mother and brother came
out of the kitchen. Bill wouldn't look at either of us, and I'm not sure if
that was good or bad. But Maggie just smiled at us and said that we needed to
celebrate. So we ordered in Chinese take-out, and sat around in the living
room for a few hours, talking.



We talked about how Margaret and Bill, Sr. had met, and how Bill and Tara met.
They all knew how we met, so we told them about how we wound up being
together. Of course, the females thought the story was "awww" worthy.
Obviously, I love our story; I think it's the ultimate romantic adventure, but
I didn't start crying about it the way Scully, Maggie, and Tara did (no, I
waited until I was in private to do that).



Tara seemed absolutely amazed at the hell we'd been through together. She had
no idea that we'd been shot, kidnaped, death-threatened, shot at, separated,
nearly frozen to death, shot at, attacked by little green bugs, nearly killed
by a man who ate human liver to survive, cannibal, and a wide assortment of
other psychopaths. Tara said that we'd earned the right to be together. I had
to agree with that.



We all (with the exception of Bill) mutually agreed that Scully and I should
tell Skinner to go feel himself if he tried to tell us that we couldn't be
together or tried to separate us and stop us from working together. It's not
like our relationship was affecting our work. We very rarely even talked about
our personal lives at work, even before we were together. If we ever mentioned
anything, it was where to go for dinner, and we've always done that. But maybe
we could even convince him that it'd be a good thing because we'd actually be
saving money because we'd only need one hotel room when we travel. Okay, it
was a long shot, but we needed something.



Bill sat there most of the time and pouted. He did not want his sister to
marry me. Hell, he didn't even want her to be associated with me. He continued
to pout until Tara told him to knock it off. She told him that Dana had a
right to marry anyone she wanted to. She said if Scully loved me and I loved
her, there was nothing he could do about it. She also pointed out that I treat
her like a goddess and I always put her ahead of me (though it may not be
obvious to the casual observer, when I ditch her, I only do so because I don't
want her to get hurt), and I never force her to do anything that she doesn't
want to (I had a feeling that Tara would make a good advocate to us). After
that, Bill tried to join in the conversation, but he still wouldn't look at
either of us.



Maggie invited us to stay at the house for the night, and we would have,
except we didn't have any clothes for the next day or that night. So she made
us promise to visit her again soon because we had "a wedding to plan, you
know."



Before we left, though, Scully and I decided that we needed to talk to Bill.
We managed to corner him upstairs after he'd checked on Matthew.



We didn't know exactly what to say to him, or how to convince him that I
wasn't a threat to his sister, but we had to try. 



Bill didn't seem too anxious to talk to us, but we literally had him in a
corner and he didn't want to make too much noise because he didn't want to
wake Matthew. He basically had no choice but to listen to us.



We started talking very calmly and rationally. We explained that we loved each
other, rules and regulations be damned. We explained that we were involved
with each other too deeply, in every way, shape, and form, to back out now.
What's more, we didn't want to back out. We wanted to be together more than
anything else. Scully told Bill that everything that had happened to their
family was not my fault; she chose to stay with me, to become my partner; that
I never forced her to do anything.



I wasn't sure what he was feeling, but I knew what Scully was. She started to
cry and turned to me to hold her. That did something to Bill. I guess it was
kind of symbolic, her turning away from her brother. A lot of body language.
Bill looked kind of panicked, like he was already losing her.



So he started to apologize profusely, saying that he'd try to be more humane
to his future brother-in-law, that he didn't want to lose his sister. He knew
perfectly well that if he didn't accept me, accept us, that Dana would never
speak to him again.



But since he was cornered, he decided to explain a few things to us from his
point of view. He explained to us exactly why he hated me, hated us being
together. It was, of course, for the reasons we had suspected, but it felt
different hearing it come from his mouth. The emotions in his eyes really
helped us to sympathize with him. I'd never really heard it from his point of
view, so this gave us a whole new perspective.



So Bill promised that he'd try. And that's all we could ask of him, that he
try. And I promised to try to keep his sister out of trouble, but considering
I can't control her mind, that promise would be very difficult to keep. Bill
still had trouble looking me in the eye, but the fact that he was trying made
it bearable. And we were so glad to have that out of the way. We were going to
have so many hoops to jump through at work, that we really needed the support
of our families.



Of course, then the shit really hit the fan. Bill paid us a little visit at
work, and suffice it to say, he and Scully had a fight. A really bad one. But
she tells it so much better than me. Her mom called a family meeting after it,
too. But things mellowed out a whole lot after that.



A couple of weeks after we told Scully's family about the engagement, we went
to my mom's house to tell her about it. I was kind of nervous going to see
her, but that was mainly because I hadn't seen her in over a year, and the
last time I had seen her, I'd accused her of having an affair, so I figured
that things might be a little tense between us.



But she seemed happy to see me. She hugged me and told me she loves me and
welcomed me into the house. She seemed happy to see Scully, too, hugging her
as well. Then we told her that we were engaged. As simple as that. I swear her
jaw scraped the floor. Well, I guess it would be kind of shocking, not seeing
your son for a year, then having him pop up out of the blue and say he's
getting married.



She gaped at us for several moments before a wide grin spread across her face.
Then she hugged us both again, congratulated us, etc., and told me how proud
she was of me. I teared up at that. I couldn't help it. After all I had done
to my mother, she was still proud of me. Mom was crying, too. And I could tell
that Scully was slightly uncomfortable, because Mom and I were having a
mother-son bonding moment, and she didn't know what to do. But then Mom turned
her attention on my fiancee (I love saying that).



She told Scully how happy she was that I had found someone like her to take
care of me and love me the way I deserved to be loved. And she was happy that
Scully was going to be part of the Mulder family.



"Well," Scully said, "you're both going to be part of the Scully family, you
know. My mom wouldn't have it any other way."



"I'm still happy that you're going to be my daughter."



"I'm happy, too. Your son makes me very happy."



Mom smiled and hugged her. "You're an angel."



Scully laughed. "I'm no angel."



"Yes, you are. You're an angel to me. You're my son's guardian angel, and I
will always be grateful to you for saving Fox...in more ways than one."



And that's how Scully got the nickname of "Angel." Mom insisted on calling her
that, despite how embarrassed it made Scully. Her face would turn bright red,
and she'd always insist that she wasn't one. I started calling her that, too.
And I think that, no matter what she said, she liked it.



We stayed with Mom for the weekend, then we brought her back with us to D.C.
to start planning the wedding. She and Maggie really hit it off. I hadn't
realized that they hadn't met before that. You'd have thought that they
would've with all the hospitals Dana and I had been in.

Anyway, she wound up staying with Maggie for the duration of the wedding
planning.



Scully and I were so busy with everything, though, that over the next few
months, we hardly saw each other. Which is ironic, since we were together all
the time. But we were doing so much, you know, color schemes (that always
cracks me up; color schemes. Don't ask me why), food, music, invitations and
such, that we hardly ever got to just talk to each other anymore. And I missed
that. We've always had such great conversations.



So we took to staying up later just to be able to talk. We had some really
interesting conversations, too. One that kind of sticks out in my mind was one
time when we were lying in bed, and she was humming. Naturally, I wanted to
know what it was that she was humming. She told me it was a song that reminded
her of me, and therefore it was her favorite (she said it; I'm not being
arrogant). And I asked her to sing it for me. Obviously, she said no. She
hates her singing voice, and is too shy to sing in front of people. I know
that the only reason she sang for me in the forest that night was because I'd
been hurt and she was kind of humoring me. So I sort of begged her to sing. I
really wanted to hear the song, but I thought it would mean more if I heard it
from her, not Celine Dion. Finally, she agreed,



"But," she said, "if you laugh at me, I won't marry you. I'll probably kill
you, too."



I said, "I would never laugh at you, Dana. Especially not about something like
this."



So she used the remote to turn on the stereo, and started to sing for me. She
didn't look at me for the first verse of the song, and what I could see of her
face was deep red. When the chorus started, I tilted her face up so that she
was looking into my eyes. By the end of the song, I was actually crying (the
song and her voice had moved me that much), and so was she. I told her that
not only was she an angel, but she had the voice of one as well.



Then she asked me to sing for her. Actually, she told me I had to. I didn't
mind too much, though. Not that I think that I can sing or anything, but
because I love her and if she wanted to hear me sing, then by God, she was
going to hear me sing. I sang, "My Heart Will Go On," obviously. She told me
that I have a very good singing voice.



"You only think that because you love me," I said. 



"Maybe," she said. "But you still sounded good to me."



Okay, not really a pertinent memory, but it meant something to me.



The next few months went by in a kind of blur, what with all the preparation
and setting a date, and all the rest. We mainly let our two moms make most of
the plans, because they got such a kick out of it, though we did get our two
cents in every now and then. Basically, everything was going along
smoothly...except for the fact that we hadn't told Skinner yet. But with only
a couple of months until the wedding, we knew that the time had come.



So, we made an appointment to talk to Skinner. He had no idea what we wanted
to talk to him about, so when we came into his office and announced we were
engaged, I think he nearly had a heart attack. But before he could say
anything, we started telling him the whole story. And to give him his own due
credit, Skinner let us tell the whole thing before exploding. And actually, he
didn't really explode. He just told us everything that we already knew
(relationships are against the rules, blah, blah, blah). But we pointed out
that nothing in our work relationship had changed and that he'd had no idea
until we told him. Skinner had no response for that.



Finally, he told us that, even though it went against his "better judgment,"
he'd let us continue to work together (because we'd always worked well
together and because we weren't the only ones in the bureau that had more than
just a professional relationship with his or her partner), on the condition
that we not let our personal relationship interfere with our professional one.
In other words, leave the sex and fights at home. Then he asked if he could
come to the wedding. Scully told him that his invitation was already in the
mail (in fact, he received it that day).



We got married on June 21 . It was an outdoor ceremony, and the most perfect
day possible for a wedding. It was the first full day of summer and it wasn't
too hot and fortunately it didn't rain. In fact, there wasn't a cloud in the
sky. So we were surprised later that day, during our reception, it started to
pour. But I heard that it was good luck if it rained on your wedding day.



The wedding ceremony was absolutely perfect. But, to be honest, the only parts
I remember with any sort of clarity were how beautiful Scully looked and the
two of us saying, "I do." (Fortunately, we had the whole thing videotaped.)



The ceremony was relatively short, but not so short that it was like one of
those TV weddings that months of preparation are put into and lasts for a
grand total of five minutes, so before we knew it, we were married. Then we
were off to the reception. That was outside, too, underneath a huge tent in
the middle of a field that we had rented for the day.



Instead of hiring a band to play, we hired a DJ. That way, "our songs" would
be played the way we knew them. One of the most difficult things we had to
decide, though, was the first song we should dance to as husband and wife. We
finally agreed to find one song that was our song, then we'd dance to Scully's
and then mine. The song we finally agreed on was "Walking After You," by the
Foo Fighters. Neither of us thought that the Foo Fighters sang anything like
that. But we were listening to the radio one day when we heard it and knew
that it was the song. We made a list of the songs we wanted played and the
order, that way we could dance to our favorites together.



As we were dancing together on the "dance floor" with everyone watching us, I
felt at peace, and a happiness that I had never before thought to be possible.



We kind of broke the laws of tradition; instead of one dance then switching
partners, we danced for three songs before we switched. We didn't care,
though, and our guests didn't seem to mind, either. I guess they understood.



After our three songs, Scully danced with Bill, whom I can't believe actually
showed up, and I danced with my mother, the poor woman. She wouldn't stop
crying. She just kept telling me how proud she was of me (which didn't help my
ego any. It was already pretty swollen because Scully had married me and
thought that I must be okay if she agreed to marry me). Then I danced with
Maggie, which was pretty much an instant replay of my mother, and Dana danced
with Charles. Then I danced with Tara, and Dana with Skinner, who looked as
proud as any father. Of course, there were a few more dances apart, the most
memorable being when Scully danced with the Lone Gunmen , especially Frohike,
who looked somewhere between crushed beyond repair at the fact that she was
married and happy that he actually got to dance with her. And how we got the
Gunmen to come to the wedding and reception is another story. A lot of it was
Scully's feminine charm. Finally, though, we were back in each other's arms,
and pretty much stayed like that for the rest of the day.



About midway through the ceremony, we cut the cake. Of course, it was huge
because of all the guests we had. Not long after that, though, we noticed that
there were a few pissed off looking people wandering around who apparently
hadn't known there was going to be a wedding reception there. So we invited
them in. Hell; the more, the merrier.



And the party definitely got merrier. Lots more people showed up. Apparently,
lots of people had planned some big-ass picnics to celebrate the beginning of
summer. But that was okay, because we had more food now (regular food, I
should say; hotdogs, hamburgers, chips, dip, salsa, which Scully refused to
touch) instead of the semi-fancy food the caterer made, and some beer, and
soda, and a few other "mixed" beverages.



I have no idea who caught the bouquet. I think it was one of the picnickers.
Frohike caught the garter belt, but that didn't really surprise me. He's such
a pervert.



The party went on forever. Even when the DJ left, everyone stayed because
several people had brought their own CD players, and CDs (though I guess
that's obvious; bring a CD player, bring CDs), so the music continued. Even
when the down pour started, everyone stayed. We just crowded under the tent.



At some point, close to midnight, we realized that we had a few presents to
open (from the people who'd forgotten to send them in advance), and about a
billion cards. All the cards held either money, or gift certificates to
furniture stores, or appliance stores or whatever. And as far as wedding gifts
go, we'd been given some pretty nice stuff. Bill and Tara gave us a really
beautiful set of China (that surprised both of us), and our moms gave us this
gorgeous old oak four poster bed that we'd both mentioned that we like and
absolutely couldn't believe they'd bought for us.



Very early in the morning, we went back to the apartment (officially ours by
that point because I had moved out of out of my old apartment and we were both
paying the bills for this one), and I could tell that Scully was nervous (to
be perfectly honest, so was I). I guess it was because we were married and
everything just seemed so different now. So I suggested that we talk for a
while.



Right away, she told me that professionally, she was going to keep her maiden
name. She'd still be Agent Scully, or Dr. Scully. But for all other purposes,
she wanted her last name to be Mulder. I had no idea where this train of
thought was coming from. I'd never even considered her changing her name; I
was just happy that she'd actually married me. It didn't matter to me what
last name she had. I guess I figured I'd always call her Scully. But knowing
that she had thought about it made me happy.



Anyway, that's where we spent our first night as a married couple. The next
day we were off to Hawaii (honeymoon capital of the world) for two weeks. We'd
come to the decision of Hawaii fairly easily because neither of us had ever
been there, and we'd both always wanted to go, so it was the logical choice.



We had a great time there, too. But someday, I'd like to take a trip there so
I can find out what it looks like OUTside of the hotel (hee hee hee).



We've been married for exactly six months now. This will be our first
Christmas together. Well, married, anyway. It seems like everything we do is a
first for us. I love Dana more every day. I love her more than I ever thought
possible for anyone to love anyone. The best part is that she loves me just as
much. She tells me everyday how much she loves me (and vice versa). I know it
sounds sappy, but we've learned to take nothing for granted, so we appreciate
every day we have together because we know that each one is a blessing.



I know Scully is worried about the fact that we can't have children, that we
won't be able to "carry on the Mulder name," as she puts it, but I'm not
worried about that. She's all I need. Besides, if we want kids, we can always
adopt. And, you never know, miracles can happen.



Scully. She's a miracle. She's an angel. She's my angel. She's more than I
ever could have dared hoped for. She's so perfect. I love to watch her sleep.
That's what I'm doing now; she's curled up in my arms, a small smile on her
lips, and I can't help but wonder what she's thinking about.



I know that my heart will go on because Scully IS my heart, and she will
always go on. Hard as they try, they've never been able to keep her down
(knock on wood). And I know that miracles can happen. Just look at us.









Author's Notes: I know it's long, but I hope it was worth it. And for the
record, yes I am a sap. I like happy endings...SUE ME!! We get enough unhappy
stuff in life, why not be creative in writing? I know it's not the best story
in the world, but it's the first fanfic I've really finished. Please read the
other part, In My Life...Scully. It's pretty much the same, but the other side
of it. Another part will be coming along as soon as I finish it. I don't care
if no one wants to read it, it'll be here (I hope). Many thanks to the people
who believe in me; "Donna," first of all, because she was one of the first to
read it and she loved it. She's been supportive of me the entire time I've
known her and I love her for it! Thanks to Krissy (the greatest person alive)
just cuz she's her and she's the best. Thanks to Paola, who read it and liked
it, and she's my friend. Thanks to anyone else who has been there for me
through it all (you know who you are!). LOVE YOU ALL!! And for the record, I'm
not some big Celine Dion fan or a Titanic freak, but that's just the way the
story came out.





visit my website!!



http://www.angelfire.com/nm/meggiesuniverse/welcome.html