(Scene fades in, to an overhead shot of a greasy pizza joint. Overweight foreign workers slave away at the fast food, slicing vegetables and meat, blending tomato sauce, and shredding cheese. The camera zooms down towards one man who is kneading pizza dough. His hands overpower the carbohydrate sculpture into a variety of abstract shapes.) VOICE OVER: Tonight, a great quest will be undertaken. A quest for gold. A quest for respect. A quest for revenge. (The camera zooms in on the dough, which suddenly takes the shape of two human faces. As the pizza dough heads tighten into detailed forms, we recognize the heads as those of the DCWL Grand Champion Tawny Blake, and the Number One Conteder to that same title, Dale 'The Mirror' Stanwycz.) VOICE OVER: One man's quest is to silence the critics. To be recognized as the greatest in his field. To bring honor and respect to the holy grail he seeks. Another has a quest of her own. To humiliate her foe with a decisive victory. To hold the same grail above her head and out of his reach. (Suddenly, the muscular hands of the pizza worker mashes down on the dough, crushing the heads of Tawny and Stanwycz in the process. After flattening the dough into the perfect shape of a pizza crust, it is passed along to another worker, who adds sauce and cheese, and then proceeds to place slices of pepperoni onto the in-progress pizza. As each pepperoni slice lands, it takes the shape of a face, until eleven faces are seen on the pizza ... Guido the Great, Skye Ashner, Haplo the Vagabond, Naja Takemara, Dontre Nero, Ahmed Mullah Akbar, Jess Bollinger, Naoki Yoneyama, Crimestarter Jim, Jackson Hunter, and Mark Haley. The competitors involved in the PlunderQuest Tournament.) VOICE OVER: Eleven men all share one identical quest. To climb a mountain of brutality and crimson. To leave ten challengers in a pile of broken flesh. To claim a tropy on an undefended pedestal. To be celebrated as the first of a new generation. (Suddenly, the faces disappear beneath another application of mozzerella cheese, and other deliciously appealing toppings. The pizza is ready for the oven, and passed along to another worker, who thrusts the unbaked creation into the firey abyss, which our camera follows. Flames lash out and lick the crust and toppings, causing a roasting steam to rise up from the pizza. The steam takes the shape of two faces, recognized immediately as Bedrock and Jack Ketch.) VOICE OVER: Two men share a similar quest, for different reasons. One man wishes merely to inflict pain and destruction. To break the spirit of great warriors forever. To break the body of a lifelong warrior. One man seeks to extract revenge. To restore many lost affections. To change a life history with fists of granite. (Moments later, the pizza is whisked out of the firey oven, and just as quickly placed into a cardboard box. A metal slicer turns the pizza into eight equal parts, before the cardboard box is closed, and ready for delivery. The top of the box reads as follows...) ~~~~~~~~~~ D ~~~~~ C ~~~~~ W ~~~~~ L ~~~~~~~~~~ DEMENTED QUEST II December 27th, 2003 ~~~~~~~~~~ D ~~~~~ C ~~~~~ W ~~~~~ L ~~~~~~~~~~ (The camera cuts from the psychotic pizzeria skit, to a fully-packed Fleet Center in Boston, Massachusetts, where over 20,000 fans have crowded together, and are wildly cheering for the beginning of a highly anticipated evening of exciting wrestling action! Panning down towards the ringside area, we find two individuals seated at the broadcast table. The first is play-by-play announcer Rich Manning, with neatly-combed short hair, and dressed in a navy blue suit with a white shirt and black DCWL tie. Beside him is the always flamboyant color commentator, Hollywood Panzerotti, wearing a snakeskin cowboy hat over his bushy hair, along with a black spandex v-neck sleeveless shirt, which allows plenty of his stringy chest hair to pop out into view.) RM: "Welcome fans, to the Fleet Center in Boston! Welcome to the DCWL's temporary home away from home! Welcome ... to DEMENTED QUEST TWOOOOO!!!" HP: "Last year, it was a damn tournament to decide the first DCWL Grand Champion ... and this year, it's PLUNDAH! A freaking PLUNDERQUEST TOURNAMENT! HA!" RM: "Yes, for his first Supercard booking effort as Commissioner, he's put together a pretty exciting lineup, Hollywood!" HP: "Everyone gets lucky one time in their life ... well, maybe not you, Manning! HA HAAA!!! And don't give any lip back, or Ol' Panzerotti is gonna shove his snakeskin boot up your pathetic ass, dammit!" RM: "You have matching boots for your hat? Weird... Folks, let's hit the ring for our opening match of the night!" **DING DING DING** PA: "The following contest is the MAIN EVENT of DEMENTED QUEST II!!! It is for the DCWL GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP, and is the first of three matches, with three guest referees! Please welcome the first of those referees..." [With that the lights go out in the arena and with the crowd in complete darkness the speakers come to life.] #Guess who's back, back again# #Johnny's back, tell a friend# #Guess who's back,Guess who's back,Guess who's back# #Guess who's back....# [And then there is a loud explosion as one by one golden pyros go off around the complete surroundings of the entrance ramp and then back again causing a great deal of smoke to cover the entire entrance way. As the lights slowly come back to life the silhouette of a man can be seen making his way out. The man just stands there letting the smoke clear from the area. As the smoke dies down the appearance of the man is soon shown to be...] PA: "... from Hollywood, California ... standing 6-foot-3, and weighing 248 pounds ... here is the former WWA World Champion ... making his DCWL debut tonight ... please welcome ... 'THE BLOCKBUSTER' JOHNNY DEEEEEETSOOOOOOOON!!!" RM: "Unbelievable! Johnny Detson is in the DCWL! How on earth did KrackerJak pull this one off?! Detson hasn't been seen in the industry since well before the WWA closed its doors! What a shocker!" HP: "Another WWA World Champ?! Dammit, do they give those out as a signing bonus or what?!" [Indeed the form is that of former WWA superstar Johnny Detson. He stands on the ramp posing to a huge surprise return pop from the crowd. Dressed in a standard wrestler sleeveless ref shirt, a pair of designer jeans, and Ray Bans resting on his face he smiles for the crowd. Motioning with his hand he tells the crowd to keep the applauses coming, a notion which the crowd is wholeheartly behind. As Detson makes his way to the ring a lyrically-altered version of Eminem's "Without Me" begins to play.] #You've wanted a legacy, cuz nobody wants to see# #The same old boring way the DCWL use to be# #Well you want entertainment and that's what I'll give ya# #Faster than the Vindicator got dumped by Veronica# #I'll be climbing right to the very top of that title scene# #Quicker then Prejuduice can get done with his bottle of Jimmy Bean# #While still convincing social workers that he's sober and clean# JT: "I'd like to know why Detson decided to take this referee job for his debut ... it sure doesn't seem to be a glamorous position." RM: "But it IS on one of the most prestigious events, in one of North America's most celebrated sports arenas, in front of a world-wide audience!" [Detson tugs at his shirt making reference to the referee job he pulled tonight before stopping in front for several good looking ladies in the front row. He lowers his shades and smiles at the girls before flexes and showing off for them which the crowd eats up as well. Doing no wrong for the moment Detson continues to make his way towards the ring. Climbing the ring steps he stops and poses for the crowd again before flinging his glasses into the crowd and climbing in the ring.] #You waited this long now stop debating cuz I'm back, sexy and devastating# #The greatest person to acting, wrestling and now a god to officiating# #Now I'm not back here to make a new friend# #Cuz that title belt will be with me in the end# #So come one, lace thse boots and try to test me# #And you'll be hearing on your back as the ref yells THREE!!!# #Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me# #Cuz we need a little something entertaining# #And that just simply DE-fines me# [Detson stands in the middle of the ring and raises his arms in the air to the roar of the crowd. Loving every minute of the crowd's applauses he flashes a cocky smile that has been a trademark of his over the years. He snataches the mic away from the ring announcer and puts it to his lips.] Detson: You weren't expecting someone else were you? [Detson smirks again as the crowd pops.] Detson: Well it's finally happened, Johnny Detson is here in the DCWL. Now some of you know me... hell unless you've lived under a rock for your entire life ALL of you know me! [Crowd pop again.] Detson: And let me just serve notice to all those people in the back who haven't stepped in the ring with me, you soon will know me too! See a ref gig is cool every once in awhile... [Detson shows off his ref shirt again to the crowd eating up their love.] Detson: ...but wrestling is what pays the bills, and I make a living just fine so I must be doing something right. But now I'm here to officiate this Grand Championship match and when I got the invite to return in this capacity I jumped at the chance. The reason is two-fold... [Detson holds up a finger.] Detson: ...first, I'm no stranger to the rule book. Hell I've broken every single rule in the damn thing, so if I broke them all I damn sure know them all! [Detson smirks again and holds up a second finger.] Detson: Second, and the most important of all is that it puts me smack dab in the middle of the Grand Championship. A championship that I am serving notice to right now because sooner rather than later it will be around my waist. People like to be humble upon first arriving on the scene, but I've done too much for too long to serve that everloving line about starting from the bottom. Plus being humble just ain't my style. [Detson smiles at the crowd again soaking in their applause.] Detson: Now I know that people have been, pardon the pun, getting their panties in a bunch over this stipulation, but let me just tell you two something, not ONE thing will happen in this match with Johnny Detson as the referee. Anyone coming down to ringside who does not belong will get a head start at seeing what this God given talent can do. [Detson points to himself as he says that getting a big pop from the crowd.] Detson: And this is one ref that you two jack-o's don't need to worry about because I get no advantage from screwing either of you two. Quite frankly neither one of you pose much of a threat to me so I could care less who wins. So get on down here and let's see if wither one of you can impress me into thinking otherwise. [Detson looks at the crowd shrugs and then tosses the mic to the announcer. He then climbs to the second turnbuckle milking more love from the crowd.] PA: "And now, the competitors ... introducing first, the challenger..." (The lights go out as the wild opening riffs of "Superstar" by Saliva start blaring through the sound system, bringing the DCWL fans to their feet in a collective cheer!) § Now has come the day, that I take the lead § § and I make you follow § § toast your champagne, cuz I came for greed § § and I fought tomorrow § § if it feels good, then it feels good, and I do it all day § § you want me to play § § you best bring your brain, you best bring your money! § PA: "... hailing from Grand Rapids, Minnesota ... and weighing 248 pounds ... here is the Number One Contender ... DALE 'THE MIRROOOOOOOR' STAAAAAAAAANWYCZ!!!" § Yeah, make me a Superstar § § Yeah, don't matter who you are § § Yeah, make me a Superstar § § Yeah, no matter who you... § (The video wall pops to life revealing an image of various mirrors floating whimsically on a background of black nothingness. The mirrors are then focused upon individually, each one showcasing various highlights from a well-known individual, mainly high-risk maneuvers. As the lights begin to flicker on and off faster now, a lone figure steps through the curtain. He appears to wear a long robe, as we can see its shiny, mirror-like parts flicker with the lights. As he raises his arms up, the scene on the video wall shows only one solitary mirror now. As the screen focuses in on that one mirror, it suddenly explodes into the phrase "TAKE A GOOD LOOK!" in bright gold. Perfectly symmetrical red and blue pyros go off at both sides of the ramp as the lights turn on, and there appears DALE "THE MIRROR" STANWYCZ. As the song's riffs continue to tear the space, the crowd lets out another shatteringly loud face pop.) § and all of my pills § § and all of my drags § § is making me, making me, making me § § and all that I feel § § and all that I see § § is fakin' me, fakin' me, fakin' me § (Dale walks down the ramp and around ringside, leaning a bit on his side to allow fans to touch his shiny, bald head. Stanwycz is muscular and cut, much like Kurt Angle. He also sports a huge smile and his deranged brown eyes cast an unusually wild, almost hypnotic stare to his fans. A seemingly-permanent gigantic scar crosses his entire chest, and sports numerous, smaller scars all over his body as the result of his many hardcore battles in the ring. Dale wears his classical split tights, one leg in blood red and the other in a bright blue. He also wears white wrestling boots with white laces and soles that match. Dale climbs the ring steps, but before entering the ring, he turns out and strikes out into 'The Mirror Stance', sending the crowd into another huge round of wild cheers!) PA: "And his opponent ... hailing from Manhattan, New York ... weighing in at 139 pounds ... here is the reigning DCWL Grand Champion ... 'THE FIRST LADY' TAAAAAWNY BLAAAAAAAAAKE!!!" # After all you put me through, you think I despise you. # # But in the end, I want to thank you # # cause you made me that much stronger# (Silver fireworks soar through the air and pyro pots explode as Christina Aguilera's "Fighter" blares over the speakers.) # When I, thought I knew you # # Thinking, that you were true # # I guess I, I couldn't trust # # Called your bluff, time is up # # 'Cause I've had enough # # You were, there by my side # # Always, down for the ride # # But your, joy ride just came down in flames # # 'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm # (As the curtains part, the crowd explodes into a riotous chorus of jeers, while the athletic, lithe form of Tawny Blake steps out into view. The young blonde wears a white, tank top and silver tights. She completes the look with silver, platform boots, her long, blonde hair falling straight down her back. With the DCWL Grand Championship around her waist, Tawny ignores the fan reaction, and begins her trek towards the ring.) # After all of the stealing and cheating # # You probably think that I hold resentment for you # # But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong # # 'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do # # I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through # # So I wanna say thank you # (Suddenly, her gaze turns towards the ring and her face turns serious and determined. She descends the ramp and walks down the aisle of the Fleet Center, trying to burn a hole through Dale Stanwycz's head with her eyes.) # 'Cause it makes me that much stronger # # Makes me work a little bit harder # # It makes me that much wiser # # So thanks for making me a fighter # # Made me learn a little bit faster # # Made my skin a little bit thicker # # Makes me that much smarter # # So thanks for making me a fighter # (Tawny climbs onto the ring apron, and lifts herself onto the turnbuckles, before hoisting the DCWL Grand Championship belt into the air! The fans loudly boo her grandstanding, as Stanwycz patiently waits for her to enter the ring. The referee, Johnny Detson, looks up at the Grand Champion, rolling his eyes in an unimpressed manner. Tawny hops over the ropes and into the ring, before handing the title belt to Detson, who takes a moment to admire his reflection in the gold plate, before passing the belt off to the timekeeper.) **DING DING DING** Standing in their respective corners, glaring at each other mere seconds after the bell. The Grand Champion smirks as she and the Challenger, begin to circle one another. The Mirror quickly lunges forward at Tawny, but she takes a step back, preventing an opening for Stanwycz. RM: "Folks, this is the first time in wrestling history that the main event of a major Supercard was the opening match of the night! Can you remember anything like this before, Hollywood?" HP: "Only when the WWF pulled the retarded-ass move to put their main events in the freaking MIDDLE of the show ... but then again, if the Ultimate Warrior had to carry matches in the DCWL, they'd probably put him in the damn middle too." The two continue to circle, as if in a some kind of twisted dance. This time it is Tawny moving in for a quick high-kick, but Dale gets his neck out of the way by stepping back. Quickly Tawny becomes the aggressor again, throwing a snapping roundhouse kick, but she only catches Dale’s forearm as he shoves it aside. The 'dance' continues-- Grand Champion and Challenger, neither one showing an opening. Neither one wanting to take the first risk. RM: "I think we're in a for an epic tonight, Hollywood. I can't see this match ending any time soon." HP: "Yeah, they're fresh now, but both have to conserve some damn strength for the following two matches." Circling still, the crowd becoming restless for action... And the competitors decide to give it to them, as they finally lock up! The grapple lasts a few seconds, with both competitors trying to gain an advantage, But they break the lock-up and take a few steps back. The tension in the air as the two glare at each other, is amplified by the noise of the crowd. Again, the two lock up with a collar-in-elbow tie-up! But quickly the Mirror gets advantage with a strong headlock! He begins grinding his forearm into Tawny’s cranium... But The First Lady quickly whips her arms around Dale’s, Pulling him from a headlock and twisting his arm behind his back, Into a hammerlock hold! Dale quickly throws an elbow, and although it doesn’t connect, Tawny releases the hold and slaps the back of Dale’s bald head. HP: "They both have been in that ring before, Manning ... but they're still taking their sweet-ass time with a feeling out process here." RM: "Neither wrestler wants to make a risky move early on, because an early mistake could come back to haunt them, even in the second and third matches." The champion laughs at the challenger, while Detson just rolls his eyes in boredom. Dale and Tawny go at each other again, and but Tawny comes out on top, with a quick thumb to the eye and a follow up sleeper-hold! Stanwycz gasps for air as he is caught by surprise, but not for long, a single elbow releases the hold, and Dale quickly uses the opening, to bounce off the ropes, coming in for a big clothesline on the Champion. But Tawny ducks under the clothesline, and brings Dale to the mat with a hiptoss, Quickly the First Lady follows it up with an armbar! But as soon as she can lock in the hold, Dale uses his power advantage, And physically lifts Tawny’s legs off the mat and rolls her up! Surprised by the cover, Detson rolls in and counts on the mat: ONE! . . TWO! . . Tawny quickly kicks upwards, sending Dale falling back toward the ropes. RM: "Whoa! Johnny Detson with an excessively fast count!" She then begins complaining to Detson about a fast count. All she gets is a shrug and a smirk, as she quickly turns back to Dale. HP: "That's not a quick count in Ol' Panzerotti's book. If you're good enough, you don't let your shoulders to be pinned to the mat, even for one damn second." The Mirror comes back in at Miss Blake and before she knows it, Dale forcefully whips her into the ropes, and she bounces off of them, coming back into a back body-drop! But she lands on her FEET! Dale turns to see Tawny bouncing off the ropes And coming at him with a running spinkick! Dale sidesteps the kick, and Tawny lands on her back... But she rolls through and gets to her feet quickly, stopping Stanwycz in his tracks The two competitors begin another stalemate... This time, a solid, stone-cold glare, between the Bald Wonder and the High-Maintenance Princess... But only for a moment! Dale is quick to strike back again, with a solid right hand! Tawny blocks it and swings one of her own, blocked by Dale... Who in turn headbutts the first lady, stumbling her back! Dale then punches Tawny in the gut, setting her up for a gutwrench suplex! But as Dale lifts her into the air, Tawny rolls through and lands on her feet! RM: "The pace is picking up, but there's still no decisive advantage on either side, Hollywood!" HP: "You wanna go in there help one of 'em get one?" RM: "Certainly not, but..." HP: "THEN SHUT THE HELL UP, MONKEY HUMPER! HA!" The challenger rushes in at the First Lady, and dumps her over the top with a clothesline! But Tawny holds onto the ropes the entire time, and pulls herself back up! Dale rushes in again but Tawny ducks down, pulling the top rope down, Causing Dale to flip over the top, and crash to the floor on his shoulders. The Champion wastes no time in pulling Dale off the concrete... And whipping him back first into the railing! Dale’s eyes fly open as he yelps a moment. But he rushes from the rail at Tawny, trying to catch her by surprise. Instead, he catches a mouthful of superkick, and crashes back to the concrete! Tawny turns to yell at Detson, who hasn’t begun a 10-count. But again, the referee shrugs if off with a cocky smirk. Irritated, The First Lady rips Dale off the stone, and rolls him back into the ring. RM: "Johnny Detson sure is a Son of a Gun." HP: "Bitch, Manning. The phrase is 'Son of a Bitch'." RM: "Not my mother's house, Hollywood." HP: "Bitch, Manning. Not in my old Bitch's house." Rolling into the ring herself, Tawny smiles as she knows she is in control, and the crowd showers her with jeers, as he lifts Dale from the mat once more. Dale fights back, locking Tawny in a headlock! He grinds his forearm into her temple aggressively... but not for long as he finds himself midair, and to the mat on his back, as the First Lady executes a text-book belly-to-back suplex; Stanwycz's back arches off the mat, as he holds the back of his neck. And Tawny is quickly to her feet with a knee in Dale’s back, as she wrenches his arm back in a somewhat unorthodox-looking armbar. Detson smirks as he somewhat mockingly asks if Dale’s going to give up. The Mirror's bald head shakes as Dale responds "NO!" Tawny wrenches back further on Stanwycz, getting a grunt as Stanwycz tries to power out of the painful hold. RM: "There's no way Dale Stanwycz would give up, and put himself 1-0 behind in this best-of-three event. he's too great of a fighter." HP: "Too stupid, is the words you are looking for, Rich. Dale Stanwycz is _too stupid_" Stanwycz knows that he won’t get a break from Tawny, but as she wrenches back again Dale shifts his weight, causing Tawny to roll off of him and Dale to get on his back. Tawny still grips his arm, however, and locks on an armbar. Detson moves in and counts Dale’s shoulders down ONE! . . . TWO! Dale puts his leg on the ropes, forcing a pin and hold break. But Tawny doesn’t want to let go! Detson begins a DQ count... ONE . . TWO . . THREE . . FOUR . . FI-Tawny breaks the hold and rolls to her feet. RM: "Tawny Blake is tempting fate by pushing that five count! It would be an embarassment to drop the first of three matches by disqualification! Remember, Stanwycz needs two falls, but only one by pinfall or submission to win the Grand Championship!" Quickly, before Stanwycz can even get up, Tawny kicks the base of his neck with her heel Dale falls on the middle rope, trying to get up still.. Tawny grabs Dale by the waist and pulls him off the middle rope... And slams him to the mat with a German suplex! Detson is in position for the pinfall! ONE . . . . TWO! . . Dale kicks out.. Tawny quickly begins yelling at Detson, complaining about a slow count.. This enables Stanwycz to roll her up! Johnny Detson drops into postion for the cover! ONE! . . . . TWO! Tawny kicks out, then kicks herself up to her feet. Dale uses the momentum of the kickout, to get back up and bounce off the ropes. The First Lady ducks his elbow, but Dale comes off the other side, bouncing from the other set of ropes and comes at Tawny. Tawny this time leaps in the air, twisting her body with a backbrain kick! Stanwycz goes into the ropes holding the back of his neck. HP: "Does anyone else feel that Detson wants to get this over and done with, so that he collect his paycheck and go back to his hotel?" The First Lady runs in, and the Mirror backdrops her over the ropes, But Tawny holds on and quickly spins herself around, And before Dale gets turned around, Tawny springboards herself off the top rope, NAILING Dale in the back of the neck with a dropkick! The Mirror doesn’t fall! He stumbles forward, holding his neck in obvious pain As Tawny rushes in to try and capitalize on his stumbling state... But STANWYCZ GETS HIS FOOT UP! Tawny takes a big boot to the face, sending her to the canvas, She gets up quickly and kicks at Dale, who blocks with a forearm. Tawny spin kicks at Dale with her next blow, but finds herself falling to the mat As the Mirror ducks the kick and dropkicks Tawny’s left knee! The Grand Champion’s face slams into the mat hard As the crowd erupts for the second-winded Mirror! RM: "Yes, the Mirror is back, folks!" HP: "We're supposed to be partial whilst commentating. That's what you've been telling me since day one, you hypocritical monkey humper!" RM: "Yes, but I'm sick of Tawny Blake and her Elemental Disturbance trickery." Dale wastes little time and quickly gets Tawny in an anklelock, Causing Detson to ask Tawny if she wants to give up. Tawny simply glares at Johnny D, and begins to power herself up off the mat. Shifting her weight, Blake flips herself over... but Dale holds onto her left leg— And he comes crashing down on it with an elbow drop! RM: "The Mirror is clearly beginning to focus his attention on the leg of Tawny Blake, which is a very intelligent strategy, in my books!" Tawny yelps out in pain, and tries to lock a sleeperhold on Dale, But he twists her leg around his, causing her to release quickly. Detson again asks her, and she looks annoyed at him, Opting to take that aggression out on Dale, she punches his cue-ball head, causing Dale to lift himself up off her, but he does not let go of the leg! Instead he starts right in on a spinning toe-hold! Tawny yelps out in pain and kicks at Dale with her other leg.. But the Mirror is quick to Blake’s game. He grabs her other leg, and latches it under the first, and he drops to the mat. Locking Tawny in a FIGURE FOUR! HP: "Sure, it's a menacing hold, but no one actually taps to the freaking Figure-Four leglock!" RM: "You ever heard the name Ric Flair before, Hollywood?" HP: "Why, did he tap out in the figure four?" The First Lady screams out as Dale applies pressure to her leg. Detson goes to ask Tawny if she’ll give up once more... But before he can, he gets spit at by the champion! Johnny laughs it off, and takes a step back, dropping down noting Tawny’s prone shoulders... ONE! . . . Tawny kicks out, and begins yelling at Detson, but is quickly shut up with another painful screech, as Dale again presses down on her leg with all his might! The Champion flails her arms around, in pain and anger, and begins trying to turn the hold over... But her shoulders hit the mat again! ONE! . . . She picks her shoulders off the mat again... and begins rocking the hold back and forth... Dale however rolls with her, and uses the momentum not only to roll the figure four over once--but TWICE, and they come out in the same position as before! HP: "Give me your leg, Manning." RM: "What?" HP: "C'mon, gimmie your damn leg! I wanna see if I can make you tap out in the figure four." RM: "No, Hollywood. Focus on the match, please." Detson smirks, asking Tawny in a mockingly way to submit, But the First Lady shuts her eyes, trying to fight through the pain. She looks down at Dale and begins to bounce her back on the mat, trying to rotate the hold... and she does... AND TAWNY GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE! Detson asks Stanwycz to break the hold, Which immediately he does, and gets to his feet, basking in the cheers of his fans! Tawny picks herself up by the ropes, hobbling to her feet. Stanwycz places her in a double hand chokehold, lifting her off the mat! Tawny suddenly begins walking up Dale's torso quickly, before wrapping her legs around his head, and countering with a stunning hurricanrana! Dale hits the mat hard on the back of his neck, and Tawny rolls forward, holding her leg. RM: "Brilliant counter by Tawny Blake! But it looks like everything has taken its toll on that left leg of hers." Tawny is the first to her feet and hobbles over to Dale, pulling him up to a vertical base. As she hooks Dale in a front chancery, and lifts him in the air for a brain buster... But as she comes down, her leg gives out for a moment, causing Dale to land on top of her with a lateral press! Detson is right there for the count: ONE! . . . . TWO! . . . . Tawny kicks out, as Dale goes to hook a leg! RM: "Johnny Detson's counts are slowing a bit, but they're still faster than the average DCWL official, which is keeping these two on their toes!" Dale pulls Tawny up to her feet, and sets her up for a DOPPLEGANGER DDT! The First Lady knows what’s coming, and musters all the strength she has, to counter with a northern lights suplex! Blake holds the move, bridging her back, as Detson drops for the cover! ONE! . . . . TWO! . . . . THR-Dale kicks out! RM: "So close!" HP: "Yet so far. Story of your damn life, hey Manning?" Tawny holds her leg, and pounds the mat in anger, before picking herself up Dale gets up as well and Blake responds with a dropkick! This stumbles the challenger into the ropes, but the champion crashes to the mat, legs first! With an angry look on her face, Tawny bites her lip through the pain and pulls herself up. She comes at Dale as fast as her legs can carry her, and leaps into a cross body block! But Dale catches her! Tawny squirms to get away, but he lifts her up into a gorilla press... And drops her belly down to the mat, both her knees crashing to the canvas! RM: "The legs again! Tawny Blake may have some serious swelling to deal with before the second match begins!" The Mirror is quick to strike as he grabs Tawny’s leg, and begins to let it have a few stomps. Tawny screams with each stomp, and lets out a long, painful sound that could’ve only come from a dying banshee, as Dale leaps high in the air and drops an elbow on her knee! Dale senses victory and pulls Tawny to her feet... And he lifts her up like a belly-to-back suplex, but instead drops her down knee first. Then, he keeps hold of the leg and signals for a figure four! Jubilation on Dale’s face turns to pure pain, as he finds Tawny’s free leg in his crotch... HP: (sloppy Brittish accent) "Not the Mommy-Daddy button." Dale slumps to the mat as the Grand Champion, begins to pull herself to her feet; Using the ropes to pull herself up, she begins to move toward the turnbuckle. Still down, Stawnycz holds his "little mirror' in pain, as he kicks his feet on the mat. Tawny however, begins to climb the top rope, to position herself for a high-risk move! Finally she gets to the top, but only after wasting valuable time! Dale meets her on the top rope for the other side! The First Lady and the Mirror exchange blows, as if the person on the top, would be the only person, even making it to the next match tonight... It’s Dale Stanwycz who wins the fist fight, as he finally nails Tawny with three or four shots to the face, and then hooks her for a suplex! But Tawny realizes what’s about to happen, and punches Dale in the kidney! Dale nearly falls off, but Tawny hooks his head and spins her body off the top rope. DRIVING DALE TO THE MAT WITH THE BLAKE BOMB! Tawny hooks the leg: ONE! . . . . TWO! . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** PA: "Here is your winner of the first of three matches ... TAAAAAAAAAWNY BLAAAAAAAAAKE!!!" (The reigning Grand Champion rolls off of Dale Stanwycz's body, and uses the ropes to pull herself to her feet. She motions for the referee to raise her hand in victory, but Johnny Detson just laughs at the demand, before hopping out of the ring and heading to the backstage area, posing for a few ringside photo opportunities before disappearing to the backstage area.) RM: "Even it was a consistently fast count, Tawny Blake finally pinned Dale Stanwycz cleanly in the middle of the ring, after a top rope Blake Bomb DDT!" HP: "And by Ol' Panzerotti's count, that's three in a row for Tawny over Dale's ass! HA!" (The Champion frowns at Detson's disrespectful gesture, before she stumbles through the ropes and out to the floor. Tawny limps away towards the backstage area, stopping halfway to look back at the ring, where Stanwycz has risen to his feet, with a clear look of disappointment on his face. Tawny cracks a slightly pained smile on her face, before walking with her damaged left leg to the backstage area.) RM: "It definitely looks like Tawny Blake is the worse for wear after this first match, Hollywood. Getting this opening win over The Mirror may have cost her dearly." HP: "BAH! You just pop some damn ice on that leg, and she'll be fine in an hour from now, dammit. And besides, she's only gotta win one more damn match to leave Demented Quest the Champ!" RM: "You're absolutely right, Hollywood. Dale Stanwycz is in the hole now, and needs to win two matches in the next two hours in order to become the Grand Champion. The odds are definitely not in his favor. Well, folks, we've got a brief clip to watch, before we get started with the first round PlunderQuest Tournament matches!" (Cut to black. Fade in.) *YESTERDAY....* (Camera opens to a shot of DCWL Head of Security Noah Prejudice in his apartment as he prepares to catch a plane to Boston for Demented Quest II. He is dressed casually for the flight in jeans and his 3/4 length leather jacket. He looks agitated, which in truth has been a constant state of affairs as of late.) (He continues to scramble around the apartment gathering belongings for the trip when the security intercom buzzes signifying that there is someone waiting at the door.) Noah:"Who is it?" (A distinctly female voice over the intercom responds) Voice: "It's me Noah... sorry I'm late." (A frustrated look crossed over his face as he pushes the button to "buzz" his guest in. As he waits, he moves over to a table where he picks up a letter.) (His face grows flush with anger as he reads. While he has been reading this letter over and over again for weeks, the anger is still fresh in his mind.) (A knock on the door.) (Noah puts the letter down and opens the door to find his ex-wife standing in the hall. The woman known to the world only as Lady Justice has long kinky red hair and is in all honesty a knockout. He instantly recalls just how good it was when they were married but just as quickly the recollection is replaced by the anger of the situation.) Noah:"So you decided to do me the honor of seeing me 1 last time before you leave to Europe with my daughter. My cup runneth over. Where is Taylor?" LJ: "She's outside with the nanny, I wanted to see you alone before she came up." Noah: "Why? Afraid I met let on that her mother is responsible for stealing her from her father?" LJ: "Look Noah, I didn't have to come here you know. The court order says...." Noah: (dripping with sarcasm)"Oh.. well let me bow down before the Patron Saint of Divorced Mothers the world over. I know I am not worthy to be in your presence. Were it not for the fact I am father to my beautiful 4 year old daughter, I would be a worthless fool unworthy of even the smallest of blessings." LJ:"Are you finished? Look, we are not leaving forever. I have a temporary job in Spain and then I... we will return. This is just something I have to do." Noah:"Like hell you do! I give you almost all the money I make from the DCWL security job and that should be plenty to keep you both in good shape... you took everything else I have. This is just another way for you to turn that knife in my back just one more time. Just how much did you pay the judge to completely ignore my rights as a father and allow you to leave, huh? Tell me the truth LJ, you won't be happy until you take my soul will you?" LJ:"Can it Noah. You have no one to blame but yourself in all of this. Look I can see this isn't such a good idea. Maybe I should just leave." Noah:"Maybe you should." LJ:"Well aren't you going to at least say goodbye to Taylor?" Noah:"Right...and give you the satisfaction of feeling like a martyr. All so you can "do your good deed". Forget it. You set it up to take my family away... you and your shyster lawyers and that crooked judge. All of you have it in for me. So fine... I'll let you have your way! it's what you wanted from the beginning." (The gorgeous red head turns away, knowing it's a lost cause to discuss this any further.) LJ:"You know, you have always been a lot of things in your life. Obsessive, opinionated stubborn and yes even a bit paranoid. But the one thing I could always say is that you were a loyal and loving father who would do anything to see his loved ones happy. I don't see that in you anymore... you have changed Noah and not for the better." Noah:"No LJ... I have just opened my eyes... for the first time ever I am seeing things the way they have always been. And I won't be fooled any longer." (LJ looks puzzled, frustrated and disheartened all at once. Yes, she even feels pity for the man she once loved more than anything in the world. She sighs and then walks down the hall as Noah slams the door shut.) (Noah turns around and leans against the door with a tear welling in his eye.) Noah: "My eyes are open LJ...and soon the whole world is going to see things MY way..." (Fade to black.) (Camera cuts back to the broadcast table.) RM: "I'm not sure what to say about what we just witnessed, Hollywood. The Noah Prejudice I remember from the WWA was a strong family man, and would have done anything for extra time with his daughter." HP: "It's that damn wife of The Vindicator! Anyone smart enough to dump that bag of crap must be able to knock some sense into a bonehead like Noah Prejudice! If we were meant to see our children, God wouldn't have invented the Daycare! HA!" RM: *sigh* "I should have just kept my mouth shut." HP: "As always!" RM: "Let's head back to the ring, folks!" **DING DING DING** PA: "The following contest is a first round match in the PlunderQuest Tournament, with a 15 minute time limit, and will be contested under FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE rules! Victory can be obtained by pinfall on any reasonably flat surface, or by points decision at the expiration of the time limit! Three points are earned with any small weapons successfully used in attack, Five points for a medium sized weapon, and Ten points for large weapons! And now, introducing first ..." ## Italian Brothers, Italy has awakened, She has wreathed her head With the helmet of Scipio. Where is Victory? She bows her head to you, You, whom God created As the slave of Rome. ## PA: "... hailing from Milan, Italy ... weighing in at 245 pounds ... here is the former DCWL Grand Champion ... GUIDOOOO THE GREEEEEEAT!!!" (Out from behind the curtain emerges former DCWL Grand Champion Guido Milano, aka Guido the Great. Guido the Great walks out from behind the curtain to a series of jeers, taunts and unimaginative boos from the crowd. Sneering, he keeps on walking – albeit slowly. Whilst not overly bound with muscle, Guido is a fine specimen of the human race, and the closest thing to a Greek God. His skin is a golden/light olive, and covered in light hair, but not to the effect that it takes the attention away from his fine physique. His silky, dark brown hair runs down to his neck, and tied back with a thin black headband.) RM: "Guido the Great is a pure technical wrestler, Hollywood, and I'm not sure a Falls Count Anywhere match will prove to be in his favor." HP: "BAH! Compared to the pansy-ass fairy he's fighting, you might as well call Guido a freaking hardcore deity! HA!" (Guido the Great wears black tights with small red diamonds running down the side of his legs. Over his knees are light kneepads, which follow the same colour design as his tights. His boots reach slightly lower than his kneepads, and are black with red laces and soles. Whilst he wears no articles of clothing on his torso, he does wear a pair of sheer black elbow pads and fingerless gloves. The most notable piece of Guido's is his knee brace, which provides the Italian with the confidence to give 110% every match and not have to worry about his knee giving way, again. His tattoo’s include; the Italian flag tattooed on his left pectoral; "Inno di Mameli" tattooed across his shoulders; across his chest is ‘RESPECT’ in large letters, and again on the inside of his left forearm.) ## Let us band together, We are ready to die. Let us band together, We are ready to die. Italy has called us. Let us band together, We are ready to die. Let us band together, We are ready to die. ## (As the music gradually fades out to its finish, Guido rolls into the ring, and makes pulls himself upright with the aide of the ropes. After adjusting his knee brace and pads, he looks up at the referee and gives him a nod to show that he is ready for the match. As the ref turns his back Guido makes his to the outside and grabs a chair.) PA: "And his opponent..." -[The lights in the arena go out, and in tthe complete blackness, some camera flashes are seen. The video wall then lights up with the words, in an elegant font "The New Classic" as a very soothing melody plays over the loudspeakers. It is an elegant piece by Mozart, and it is interrupted by the whispering voice of "The New Classic" himself, Skye Ashner, as correspondingly a semi-transparent view of his face appears on screen.]- "It will be in a sense... CLASSIC!" -[Suddenly, as POD’s "Alive" begins to pllay over the DCWL arena sound system, the strobe lights on the ramp way illuminate the arena and sends the fans to their feet. The video wall shifts from just the plain writing to video clips of amazing acrobatics by Ashner. Strutting out from behind the curtain comes Skye, wearing a black and gold silk shirt. The shirt is unbuttoned, exposing his chiseled abs, and stunning features, and also bears Japanese kanji all over it, including a large symbol on the back subtitled with "CLASSIC." The gold kanji on the shirt is in a metallic style, and reflects the flashing lights as Skye stands on the ramp in a confident pose. His tights match the shirt, with the same metallic gold kanji around the waist and a large kanji also subtitled "CLASSIC" on each thigh. As the lyrics start, Ashner points down the ramp with his index fingers with a smirk and a nod and begins to walk down it. And as he walks down the ramp, a sole spotlight follows him.]- # Every day is a new day! # # I’m thankful for every breath I take! # # I won’t take it for granted, (I won’t take it for granted) # # So I learn from my mistakes # # It’s beyond my control, sometimes it’s best to let go # # Whatever happens in this lifetime # # So I trust in love, (So I Trust in Love...) # # You have given me peace of mind... # PA: "Introducing… on his way to the ring... hailing from Kyoto Japan, weighing in at 170 lbs... here is "THE NEEEEEEEEW CLASSIC"... SKKKYEEEE AAAAAAAAASSSSHHNEEEEEERRR!" -[Skye gets about halfway down the ramp, tthen he starts reaching over the guardrails slapping the hands of the DCWL fan base, smiling as he walks down to the ring. As he finishes his strut down the ramp, he jumps up on the apron and runs along it pointing out to the fans, who respond with generous ovation.]- # I... # # I feel so ALIVE! # # For the very first time, I can’t deny you. # # I feel so alive... # # I... # # I feel so ALIVE! # # For the very first time, (for the very first time) # # ..and I think I can FLY! # -[Leaning back, Skye goes backwards over tthe top rope, and lands on his feet, only to be met with a chair shot to the back of the head knocking him to the ground!]- HP: "HA! Guido starting this match immediately going for the damn points!" RM: "But the ref hasn’t started the match yet and therefore those points don’t count!" **DING DING DING** As the ref calls for the bell, Guido again crashes the chair down on the back of Ashner, scoring the first offical points of the match. Guido then laughs as he measures his opponent, for yet another shot with the chair. He then turns and mocks the crowd, biting his thumb to the crowd, in true Italian fashion. He then waits in the center of the ring, for the New Classic to get up to his feet, and Ashner does; slowly at first, but eventually with confidence- *! THWACK! * only to get a chair shot right to the skull! *! THWACK !* *! THWACK !* Two more shots come down on the back of Ashner, flattening him to the canvas, as Guido triumphantly stands over his opponent’s body, pointing at his toned, but not-so-chiselled abs. RM: "Guido getting the early advantage here." HP: "Yeah! At 5 points a pop, Guido is already up 20-zip in the first few minutes, showing all the monkey humpers in the world why he is great!" Guido drops the chair and covers Ashner, hooking both Skye's right leg and cradling his neck: ONE . . . . TWO . Ashner kicks out with resilience, and Guido angrily yells at the ref, as he picks the chair up for another attack on Skye Ashner. Turning the chair he tries to jam it in the throat of Skye, but Ashner rolls out of the way, before the shot comes down. Guido, frustrated, continues to slam the chair down, trying to nail Ashner anywhere on his body. Ashner continues to roll out of the way, finally landing a leg sweep! Guido crashes down, dropping the chair, as Ashner kicks up to his feet and the crowd is wild! Ashner grabs the chair, but Guido immediately rolls to the outside. RM: "Guido is wanting no part of that chair." HP: "You’re so damn great at stating the obvious, let me state something else for you. Guido is ahead on points with the early chairshots ... he doesn’t have to do a single thing for the rest of this match and he’ll go on to the next round." RM: "Guido could indeed play it that way, with the fifteen-minute time limit, the clock is against Ashner right now." HP: "Could play it that way?! What other way is there to play it? It's pure freaking genius!" Guido taunts Ashner from the outside, showing no indication that he’ll re-enter the ring, so Ashner wastes no time in going out after him, chair in hand. Guido takes off around the ring, with Ashner giving chase; Guido slides back into the and waits for Ashner to follow, who does, sliding into the ring upon his stomach, and Guido plants a boot, right to his temple! Guido kicks the chair out of the ring, and then puts a Reverse Chinlock to Ashner! Showing his ring experience, Ashner climbs back to a standing position, and throws Guido into the ropes. Guido bounces back and throws a shoulder into Ashner, sending him down to the canvas with a thud. Guido then drops down to reapply the Chinlock, to the dismay of the crowd. RM: "Guido is going to stick with this plan of running the time out on Ashner." HP: "It’s the simplest of strategies, and that way the ring rust starts to come off for the former champion, making the second match that much easier!" Ashner again struggles to his to feet, with the hold still applied, but manages to land a series of elbows to the midsection of Guido, who breaks the hold and Ashner immediately charges into the ropes. Guido swings wildly at the returning New Classic, and misses with a clothesline attempt. Ashner charges off the opposite ropes, and hits the former champ with a Flying Elbow! Both men get up quickly, and Ashner sends Guido down with a Clothesline! Ashner stalks Guido measuring him up, as Guido begins to get back up. Ashner grabs his head, using the corner to plant him down in a Tornado Bulldog! Ashner back up with the momentum, as Guido slides to the outside again. RM: "For the first time, Ashner has control of this match-up against Guido, and now the former Grand Champion is on the outside trying to recover." HP: "Well the monkey humper may have the advantage, but Guido still has the lead in damn points! And time is ticking away for that stupid little fairy!" Guido gets to his feet on the outside, checking his mouth for blood; he is visibly upset with the current events that have transpired. Ashner waits impatiently in the ring as Guido stays outside. Guido then ducks out of view under the ring, Ashner makes his way over to the ropes, and then launches himself to the outside. Guido is right there and meets his opponent, with a trash can lid to the head! He tosses the lid aside and then drops down for the cover, the ref still in the ring hurries out and finally positions himself: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . TH-SHOULDER UP! RM: "Oh, thank God! I don't think I could see Guido the Great win through to the Plunderweight Tournament finals." HP: "Why? The better man would have won. He is a former DCWL Grand Champion, and what is Skye Ashner? An acidental Plunderweight Champion who was stripped of the title in under a freaking week?!" Guido pulls Ashner up, and throws him in the ring in disgust. Then he grabs the garbage can and the lid, and throws them into the ring as well. HP: "That was some short lived control there, huh Manning?" RM: "Well Ashner is getting desperate, time is running out and he still hasn’t managed to score any points yet!" HP: "Yeah, his holiday season isn’t going to be too plunderful it looks like. Too damn bad! HA!" Guido himself climbs back into the ring, and grabs the trash lid again, as Ashner makes his way back up to his feet, Guido spikes the lid down on his head; Ashner drops down on both knees, and Guido nails him again with a huge swing! Guido starts to taunt the crowd again, as he flings the lid to the outside. The former DCWL Grand Champion then drops down with a lazy cover: ONE . . . . TW-KICK OUT! Guido takes his time adjusting his knee brace, as he continues to stall the match as long as he can. Then he casually approaches the trashcan and picks it up, tossing it from one hand to another, as he walks over to Ashner. Slowly, Guido lifts the can over his head- -but Ashner leaps up and lands a dropkick to the can; both men fall back down to the canvas, Guido with a face full of can! RM: "Ashner finally tallying a score of 5 points here in the match, plus the fact that he manages to survive the onslaught from Guido a little longer." HP: "Too little too late for this former champion of plunder. He's down 29 to 5 right now, the stupid little bastard!" RM: "Well the only reason he’s not champion right now is that Guido managed to convince KrackerJak to vacate the title, stripping Ashner." HP: "Man, all you do is make excuses for your favorite wrestlers. I find that so freaking pathetic. You know that, Manning?" Both men now struggle to get top their feet, with Guido getting up first. He makes his way over to Ashner, and greets him with a right hand, however, Ashner manages to block the attempt, as well as several others! Ashner then begins hammer away on Guido himself, knocking him backwards, towards the turnbuckles; Guido slumps into the corner, with a glazed over look, when Ashner whips him to the opposite side; the former champion crashes in the turnbuckle, and then staggers out like a drunk man, right into a can shot from Ashner! Ashner places the can on Guido, heading for the top rope and leaps off the top rope for a Splash- but at the last second, Guido moves the can off him, but takes the full force of the move! Ashner hooks the leg for the win: ONE . . . . . TWO . . . . . THRE SHOULDER UP BY GUIDO! RM: "Ye-NO! So close! We almost witnessed a great victory for Skye Ashner!" HP: "How smart is Guido the Great? He managed to push the can off of him, and negates any points that Ashner was going to get!" Ashner regains control of the can and sets it up in the corner. Guido starts to get to his feet as Ashner moves over to him, sending a boot right into the midsection of the Italian, and then launches him head first into the trash can! Ashner slides right over and follows up with a School Boy: ONE . . . . . . TWO . . . . . . SHOULDER UP! Ashner can’t believe it, as Guido working on pure instinct! Skye picks Guido up and drops him back with a DDT! Placing the garbage can on Guido again, he climbs to the top rope, motioning to the crowd which gets a huge pop and leaps off- but Guido manages to completely move this time around, and Ashner hits the canvas with a sickening crash!. HP: "Guido just saved the match for himself with his cunning and intelligence, something Ashner is completely lacking." RM: "Ashner did need that move, as still with only 15 points to Guido's 29, the time is severely against Ashner now, and with him down it seems unlikely that he will be able to capitalize on anything." HP: "It's over put it in the books! Stick a fork in him and all that other good stuff! Bottom line, Ashner is out!" Guido severely struggles to pull himself up, but does so with the aide of the ropes. Ashner begins to crawl around as well, but is met with a soccer-style kick to the ribs; Guido has a full return of his confidence, as he signals for the end. He picks Ashner up and with a hard shove, sends him in the nearby corner. He then picks Ashner up, putting him on the top rope, and then slapping his face, purely to piss the Asian off. Guido climbs up with Ashner and hooks Ashner’s arm around his head, but Ashner begins to desperately fight off the Superplex attempt, with a series of fists to the right side of Guido's ribs. Guido begins to falter a bit as Ashner, continues to pound away on his foe, and then Ashner hooks his own leg to the ropes, then with tosses Guido over the top rope! Guido lands on the announcer table, but it does not break. Ashner balances on the ropes and then suddenly leaps down… HP: "LOOK OUT!!!" *! CCRRRAAAAAAAASSSHH!* [Dead air] RM: "Are we back on?" HP: "Who cares! Is my face okay? My face, dammit!" RM: "I don’t believe Ashner leaped off the top with the Life’s Velocity right through our announce table!!! The thing is completely shattered!!!" HP: "I have to work here for the rest of the night! Thos monkey-humpers in the back better bring me a new workstation!" RM: "Ashner right in front of us with his arm draped over the former Grand Champion! The ref slides out for the cover!" ONE! . . . . . . TWO! . . . . . . THR-…….. **DING DING DING** HP: "No three count! Guido wins on points! HA HAAA!!!" RM: "Ref signaling on a two count, and now several people getting together talking things over with the announcer." (Several people talk around the ring announcer who nods his head in agreement before making his way inside the ring.) PA: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ... the final score for the match is 29 to 25 in favor of the winner ... GUIDO THE GREEEEEEEEAT!!!" (Large boos eminate from the crowd, as one of the officials on the floor is waving instructions at the announcer.) PA: "Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen ... the officials have made mention that bonus points are to be awarded for top rope plunder attacks, which were not added to the scores ..." (Crowd pop in anticipation!) PA: "Therefore ... tallying the bonus points, the winner of the match based on a decision of 30 to 29 ... SKYE AAAAAAAAASHNEEEEEEER!!!" *! CROWD POP !* HP: "I don’t freaking believe it! Those damn blind judges! I had Guido ahead on points by a score of 80 to 30!!" RM: "That last move saved Ashner and moves him to the next round! I don’t think either realize it though, as both men have hardly moved in front of us! While this mess is being cleaned up, let's check in backstage right now!" (Camera cuts backstage to Head of Security Noah Prejudice who is talking with a couple of his staff.) Noah: "Alright Shane... Trevor, heres the deal. I am making you both my assistants tonight as I am not going to be able to oversee everything that goes on. These damned plunderweight matches are out of control at the best of times, but then make it a tournament? That idiot KrackerJak has no idea what he is dealing with." (His staff members are a little taken back by the new responsibility however they seem to look as though they are welcoming the opportunity.) Noah: "So here it is guys... I am allowing you to make decisions as to the way security is handled tonight in every match except the Bedrock/Ketch match. THAT order comes from on high. KrackerJak says he wants Ketch to "get his" tonight and since it's an "I Quit" match, he says there isn't anything that will happen that will require us to get involved. So try to keep everything in order until that match and then let all hell break loose. After tonight, I'll reassume my duties by myself again. If you do a good job...who knows what could happen. Trevor, are the rest of the guys trained in the use of their new "equipment"?" Trevor: "Yes sir." Noah: "Good. Don't be afraid to use them to get control of things if they get out of hand. Now get outta here and keep an eye on things in the back okay?" (The pair nod and split up. Camera cuts back to the broadcast table.) RM: "We're back here at ringside, and the crew has worked quicker than ever before! As you can see, we've got a new broadcast table, and they have also propped an extra table around each side of the ring, which can mean only one thing..." HP: "TABLES MATCH! YES! One of my absolute freaking favorites, Manning! Let's go, dammit!" **DING DING DING** PA: "The following contest is a first round match in the PlunderQuest Tournament, and is a TABLES MATCH! The match ends either by pinfall, or points at the expiration of the 15-minute time limit, as explained in the previous match. And now, introducing first..." # IT'S ABOUT TO GET PERSONAL! # (The crowd erupts in a huge face pop. A huge pyrotechnic explosion goes off from the ring posts and the entranceway simultaneously. "The Price to Play" by Staind blares through the arena speakers. An intense strobe light shines on the entrance ramp but nobody emerges from the back just yet. The word "Vagabond" shows up on the arena speakers.) #We fail to see# #How destructive we can be.# #Taking without giving back# #'Ti the damage can be seen# #Can you see?# #Can you see?# (Haplo walks out through the curtain, blinking through the strobe. He's wearing a new pair of wrestling tights. They are red, pant-like tights. Down the side of each leg is a large black "H." The word "Vagabond" is written on the buttocks. A new barbed-wire tattoo wraps around his left bicep. The right has a large, intricate "H." The DCWL tag belt hangs around his shoulder.) PA: "... from Thessoloniki, Greece ... weighing in at 319 pounds ... here is 'THE VAGABOND' HAAAPLOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" #The more you hurt# #The more you strain# #The price you pay to play the game# (Haplo climbs the apron and walks the length of it, looking at the crowd and basking in the cheers. He climbs in the ring.) #And all you seek and all you gain# #And all you step on with no shame# #There are no rules, no one to blame# #The price you pay to play the game# #Apathy, the chosen way to be.# #Blindly look the other way # #While you waste away with me.# #Can you see?# #Can you see?# (Haplo suddenly throws his arms out in a crucifix position as the chorus hits. Another explosion goes off from the ring posts and the entrance ramp to a huge pop from the fans.) #The more you take# #The more you blame# #But everything still feels the same.# (Haplo walks to the corner and climbs the turnbuckle, looking around at each of the four tables, set up on the outside.) PA: "And his opponent..." (A single, haunting note played from a reed flute sounds through the PA. Slowly, a melody begins to form: a simple melody reminiscent of an elegant, serene Buddhist shrine. Letters begin to pop onto the screen, big and bold and bright red: N A J A PA: "... accompanied to the ring by Mistress Dandelion ... from Los Angeles, California ... weighing 220 pounds ... here is NAJAAAAAA TAKEMAAAAAARAAAAAAA!!!" (The crowd begins to boo and jeer. Naja Takemara comes to the entryway dressed in black Adidas track pants with a pair of white stripes up the side of the leg. He stands at the top of the ramp and holds his arms out to his sides. Tattooed on each wrist is the I-Ching symbol for pain. Holding his arms out, Naja drinks in the crowd's hatred for a moment, then, he raises his arms above his head and points to the side of the entry. A shrill guitar whine blasts through the reed flute melody and heavy chords announce the arrival of Mistress Dandelion. The buxom blonde stalks through the door in skin-tight Adidas shorts with a pair of black stripes on the side and black, knee-high leather boots. She wears a tight, black Adidas sports bra that pushes her assets to their best possible advantage. She carries the Purebreed Championship belt.) RM: "I don't know how Naja Takemara can exude so much confidence as he heads into this match ... he was trembling like a frightened child not too long ago!" HP: "BAH! Mistress Dandelion has ways of making men forget about their troubles, Manning. I've forgotten my cares in the company of Dandelion on MANY occasions! HA!" (Standing at the edge of the ramp, Naja Takemara and Mistress Dandelion, cautiously approach the ring apron, but are stopped, as an uber-pissed Haplo charges, and lunges at Naja, only missing by a matter of inches. Naja cowardly jumps backwards, falling flat on his behind, much to the delight of the crowd. MD bends over and whispers something into Naja's ear, which causes him to nod and smile in arrogance. The two split up, and slowly approach the ring from opposite sides. Haplo stands in the middle of the ring, watching both of the mischievous cohorts climb onto the apron, and slip into the ring.) HP: "This is a classic battle plan, Rich; attack the prey from opposite sides, and blindside them." (Naja darts forward, straight for Haplo, but as he approaches, he slides down on his knees, and under the Vagabond's arms. Suddenly, Mistress Dandelion charges at Haplo, and jumps on his back, locking on a sleeperhold! The referee calls for the bell.) **DING DING DING** As Naja looks on with a smirk, Haplo sways about, trying to get rid of the pesky Mistress Dandelion. Reaching back over his head, Haplo grabs two hands full of MD's hair, and pulls her over his head, slamming her into the canvas, which causes Naja to jump back in shock! With no mercy, Haplo pulls MD to her feet, and hoists her high above his head in a military press, before throwing her slight body forward... *! CRRAAAASSH !* ...and through a table on the outside of the ring! HP: "Although, that tactic is not for everyone; not Naja Takemara and especially not Mistress Dandelion." Haplo looks down at the unconscious Mistress Dandelion, and smirk a little as the EMT's rush over to the valet. Suddenly, Haplo is attacked from behind again, this time by the crafty Naja Takemara, who locks on another sleeperhold, but Haplo is on fire, running backwards, and slamming Naja's body into the turnbuckles, causing him to let go of the sleeper and slump into the turnbuckles. RM: "Naja Takemara won their first match on a technical battlefield, but I don't think Naja has a hope in Hades for this one!" HP: "At least his freaking Purebreed Championship isn't on the line in this damn match!" Haplo drags Takemara's body our from the corner, and applies a bearhug on the hapless Naja, before tossing him lengthways across the ring, with a huge Overhead Belly-to-Belly Suplex, ending up on the outside of the ring, lying on the apron only inches from a table. As Naja stands up, and attempts to shake the cobwebs away, Haplo charges from the other side of the ring, and knocks Naja into the barricades, with a huge boot to the face! HP: "Dammit, Naja! You gotta duck when a big monster is coming at you with his big-ass foot!" RM: "I think the Purebreed Champion might be in a state of shock! He's completely out of his natural element!" Haplo slowly leaves the ring, but his eyes never leave Naja Takemara, who, with wobbly knees, stands with the help of the barricade. Naja lashes out with a clothesline, but the Vagabond blocks it, and punches Naja square in the jaw, rocking him backwards. Haplo places Naja in a front facelock, and hoists his body into a vertical Suplex position, holding him there as he walks towards the nearby table. Haplo quickly shifts Naja body forward, and grabs around Naja waist... *! CRRAAAASSH !* ...and sends Naja through the table with a Suplex Powerbomb! Naja's body is twisted wreck amongst the debris, but Haplo is a man on a mission. He picks up Naja, kicking and screaming for help in desperation, and tosses him onto his shoulder, as he walks around the corner, stopping in front of the next table. RM: "I'm amazed that Naja is still conscious after that first table spot, Hollywood!" HP: "The little dude is a lot tougher than your monkey humping ass gives him credit for, dammit!" Haplo slips Naja's body off his shoulder, and catches him in a gutwrech position. Naja's face goes white from fear, as he knows he doesn't have a chance. In a display of brute strength, Haplo lifts Naja's body up... *! CRRAAAASSH !* ...and Powerbombs him thorugh another table head-first! RM: "Naja Takemara is out cold from the punishment, but I don't think Haplo is finished." HP: "There's only one freaking table left to break, dammit! Who decided that a PLUNDAH match should be limited to four tables?! BAH!" Haplo ruthlessly drags Naja's body, around the next corner by the arms; through the splintered pieces of the tables, before stopping at the final table. The crowd begin to rise to their feet, chanting "HAP-LO! HAP-LO!" as the former WWA Champion rolls Naja onto the ring apron. RM: "This isn't looking good for Naja ... not at all!" HP: "But even if it's my buddy Naja, it's gonna all look good to Ol' Panzerotti! HA!" Haplo climbs on the apron himself, and pulls Naja to his feet, before placing him in a Standing Headscissors. Grabbing Takemara around the wait, Haplo raises Naja up, high into the air... . . . *! CRRAAAASSH !* "HAP-LO! HAP-LO! HAP-LO!" ...and sends him crashing down with the Nexus Bomb, through the table, from atop of the arpon! Piece of table explode everywhere, and a bloodied Naja Takemara lies still in the middle of the debris. RM: "MY GOSH! Haplo has destroyed Naja's body!" HP: "He'll recover, dammit ... that's why he's a freaking Champ in the DCWL!" Haplo casually drops down from the apron, and rolls Naja back into the ring, bathing in the continuous chanting of his name, as he walks up the steps and into the ring for the final time. Placing one foot onto the chest, on the fallen, bloodied and beaten Takemara, Haplo flexes as the referee counts: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** PA: "Here is your winner ... advancing to the PlunderQuest Finals ... HAPLOOOOOOO THE VAGABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOND!!!" (The crowd lets another big cheer soar out through the Fleet Center, as Haplo rises up from the body of his foe, hardly having broken a sweat. The referee raises his arm in a token of victory, and Haplo dusts off his hands before exiting to the backstage area.) RM: "We've just witnessed the most decisive victory of the night, folks! Haplo advances to the finals, and Naja goes home with more scrapes and bruises than he bargained for!" HP: "BAH! With Mistress Dandelion to 'nurse' him back to health, he'll heal up in no damn time at all." RM: "Folks, we've got more happening backstage, so let's send our cameras there now!" (The ring crew and EMTs are on their way to the ring, the cameras cut to the Fleet Center's staff parking garage, where the camera shows The Vindicator walking towards the arena with his gym bag.) Vindicator: "Tonight is the night...I get to see Tawny and Dale beat each other to a bloody pulp. I don't care who wins as long as they both end up pushing up daisy's with Cap." (The camera cuts to the back, where a beat up blue Ford Escort is pulling into the parking garage. It pulls up to a spot next to the prominent maroon Dodge Viper. While turning into the spot, the car grazes the Viper and takes out the rear tail light.) (Vindy turns around and sees the aftermath of what just happens. He drops his bag and sprints down to his car. Seeing that the blue Escort did this, he stomps over to the driver's side. Rather than waiting for the suspect to come out, he grabs a nearby pipe and just smashes the window open. He reaches in the car and pulls out the driver. Much to his surprise...) Vindicator: "D'Amico!" (It's Dr.Dale D. D'Amico himself.) Vindicator: "You're not Tawny, but I've got a hell of a lot of history with you and now a good reason to kick your ass!" (D'Amico tries to land a punch on Vindy, but he'll have no part of it. He ducks the swing and literally throws Dale headfirst into the door of the escort.) Vindicator: "Wrong place, wrong time, wrong reaction...You're not taking me out today." (Vindy just begins stomping the hell out of D'Amico.) Vindicator: "You know what? I'm going to make an example out of you. I will show the world why I should be next in line for a DCWL title shot." (The Metropolitan MEGAstar lifts D'Amico on the car and performs a realy stiff power slam on the roof! The impact causes the roof to collapse and Dale to start to bleed. Vindy is smiling as he stands over the barely conscious D'Amico.) Vindicator: "When I'm done with you, D'Amico, you're going to be sharing a coffin with Cappy at the morgue, you freakin' rectum ranger. Got that, brother?" (Vindy hears no response from D'Amico.) RM: "Someone's got to stop this...The Vindicator is going too far." HP: "No, I want to see him get arrested!" Vindicator: "Get up, wimp! " (Vindy mockingly kicks D'Amico.) Vindicator: "You can't nap now...you're going to miss the big finale." (The Vindicator drags D'Amico off of the car and lifts him on his shoulder. He spots an 18 wheeler and gets an idea...He puts D'Amico on the hood and climbs up it. Once again, he picks up D'Amico and gives the V symbol to the camera.) RM: "Don't do it, Vindy..It's not worth it!" HP: "Do it, wuss!" *THUD* (A sickening thud can be heard as D'Amico's head hits the ground from the TOTAL VINDICATION that Vindy hits him with. He lays there motionless in a pool of blood as an ambulance pulls up. After a few moments, the paramedics put Dale D'Amico on a stretcher and are about to put him in the ambulance when Vindy interferes. He gets a few shots in on Dale and puts the stretcher in front of the ambulance. All of a sudden, the Vindicator gets in the driver's seat and starts pushing the stretcher with the ambulance! He's going about 20 miles an hour and just sandwiches the stretcher into a wall!) *CRASH* RM: "Oh God..." HP: "Whoa." (Vindy walks over to the fallen body of D'Amico to see he's still breathing.) Vindicator: "Hey, you're still alive...consider that an early present from me to you. I'm letting you leave this arena with your life. Merry Christmas, D'Amico and have a happy rehab!" (Vindy chuckles before security moves to separate Vindy from Dale. The Vindicator nonchalantly walks towards the arena and picks up his bag. Just then a scrawny young teenager dressed in a DCWL sport coat for too big for him, comes up to the Vindicator as he is walking.) Interviewer: "Mr. Vindicator, my name is Kenny Peterson and I'm the new interview correspondant for the DCWL! I just wanted to get your thoughts on the vicious beating you just gave D'Amico and to try and find out why you're here tonight." (Vindy smiles and pats scrawny Kenny on the back.) Vindicator: "Yeah, that was great, wasn't it? Somebody has got to set the example around here...and who better than me? I'm the benchmark that the others should follow." Kenny: "Ok...that being said, can you shed any light as to why you are here?" Vindicator: "Shed some light? Where would the fun be if I put my cards on the table? I'll say two things...Tonight will be a very good night for the Metropolitan MEGAstar and the DCWL will never be the same after tonight...Now I'll be on my way now because I've got some business to attend to. If you want to interview someone, why not go visit Cappy? I hear he's his promos now are better than ever. The sound of the maggots eating his flesh makes more sense than he ever did." (Vindy closes the door behind him, leaving skinny Kenny in the garage alone, trying to keep the seemingly-massive coat on his bony shoulders.) Kenny: "Back to you, Mr. Manning!" (Camera cuts to the broadcast table.) RM: "I have no idea why Dale D'Amico was coming to the Fleet Center tonight, but it looks like he won't be staying long, unfortunately." HP: "He didn't even get the chance to call Vindy his brother, dammit!" RM: "Folks, it's time to move on to our next match. Naoki 'Suga Sweet' Yoneyama is coming off an impressive victory over The Red Phoenix at the last Total Dementia, Hollywood." HP: "Who knew the little mutant had it in him?" RM: "But he looks to be the extreme underdog in this first-round Plunderquest match-up, against Crimestarter Jim." HP: "What's not to love about CSJ, Manning? He's big, and not to mention stupid! HA!" RM: "Their match up will be, as stipulated by the commissioner, a Ladder-Flag match! A twelve-foot fiberglass ladder is erected outside the ring. Fifteen feet above the ring, a flag hangs from the end of a cable. The first man to literally capture the flag is the winner. There are no other rules, there will be a fifteen-minute time limit, though! If neither man has the flag at the end of fifteen, neither man will advance!" HP: "Ever seen what happens to a sandwich that falls twelve feet, Manning?" RM: "Can't say that I have." HP: "You will today." **DING DING DING** PA: "The following contest is a first round PlunderQuest Tournament match, and will be contested as a LADDER-FLAG MATCH! The only ways to win are by retrieving the flag hanging above the ring, or on points at the expiration of the 15-minute time limit! And now, introducing first..." ("Little Busters" by Japanese indie rock band The Pillows plays over the PA and Naoki "Suga' Sweet" Yoneyama runs out from behind the curtains and jumps in place for a few seconds waving his bag around then runs down the aisle pointing to one side of the crowd then the other as he goes along.) PA: "... hailing from Sendai, Japan ... weighing in at 245 pounds ... here is NAOOOOOOKI 'SUGA SWEET' YONEYAAAAAAMAAAAAAA!!!" (Naoki sticks his bag underneath the ring then he leaps onto the ring apron when he gets to the ring, grabs the top rope and attempts to leap over the ropes and into the ring but his feet catch the top rope and he falls in a heap inside the ring. He scrambles to his feet twirls around inching his way to the middle of the ring and then he points to all sides of the crowd one after the other and then he jumps in place three times and raises his fists in the air and goes to his corner.) PA: "And his opponent..." (The Lights go out in the arena as the crowd gets silent. Red spotlights begin flowing around the arena as the jumbotron lights up and the letter “C” flies to the left of the screen. The letter “S” flies to the center of the screen and the letter “J” flies to the right of the screen. The letters begin to move together and the word “CSJ” is lined up in the middle of the screen as “Killing in the name of” by Rage against the machine begins to play throughout the arena to a cheer from the fans.) PA: "... hailing from Santa Monica, California ... weighing in at 286 pounds ... here is CRIMESTAAAAAARTER JIIIIIIIIIM!!!" (A lightning bolt flashes through the “CSJ” letters and the letters shatter as Crimestarter Jim steps out from behind the curtain. Crimestarter steps out and raises his arms immediately into the air as red fireworks shoot up from the stage area.) (Crimestarter Jim is a tall muscular man. Jim always makes sure he has a good tan. He has bleached blond curly hair that goes down just past his shoulders. He has a tattoo of himself on his left bicep and a tattoo of what appears to be a world title on his left forearm. Jim comes down to the ring in a black t-shirt with the words “Crimestarter Jim” in red on the front and the letters appear to be dripping in blood with a bullseye layered underneath the words. On the back it reads “If you're not with me, you're against me”. Jim also wears a pair of black athletic tear away pants with a red stripe down each leg along with his black and red wrestling boots to the ring. Underneath the pants he wears a pair of black wrestling trunks with the words “Legend” across the butt in red. Most of the time, Jim wears his athletic pants in his matches and just takes off his shirt.) (Jim begins to walk down the ramp, and climbs up on the ring apron, slapping a few hands along the way. Jim steps through the ropes and stands in the middle of the ring looking around at the crowd. Jim quickly raises his arms into the air as the letters “CSJ” show up behind him in fireworks, lowered from the ceiling. The referee wastes no more time, and calls for the bell.) **DING DING DING** CSJ walks over to Yoneyama, who smiles and offers out a hand. Jim grabs his hand and yanks his arm, nearly ripping it out of the socket! CSJ yanks again, this time sending the Sammich master across the ring, and into the turnbuckles. Jim quickly flies across the ring, and powers through Yoneyama with an elbow! Yoneyama slumps to the floor. Jim puts a boot on his neck and presses down hard. Yoneyama tries to kick away, desperately screaming "NO! DON'T WANT TO SEE THE WHITE ONION!" but after a few moments, he lies still. HP: "Well that was pretty freaking quick." RM: "What was that about a white onion?" HP: "Don't bother asking, Manning. You ain't gonna find a logical answer from that fruitcake." CSJ climbs out of the ring and pushes the ladder over, leanning it against the ropes. He quickly climbs back into the ring, and drags the ladder over the ropes, setting it up in the middle of the ring. CSJ starts to climb up the ladder. Yoneyama stirs. The plucky little fighter gets to his feet, and lurches to the ladder, grabbing CSJ's ankle. Jim kicks his ankle free and looks down. A big smile crosses his face. RM: "Crimestarter Jim may have changed his ways, but he's still ruthless inside the ring! He wants to win the Plunderweight Championship!" He climbs down far enough to grab a big handful of Yoneyama's hair. Then, he starts to lift Yoneyama. Sammichy grabs Jim's wrist with both hands, trying to keep his hair from being ripped out. Jim climbs halfway up the ladder, and begins to shake Yoneyama about like a rag doll. Yoneyama is screaming in pain. CSJ climbs another couple steps of the ladder, then swings Yoneyama out like a fish, letting him fly from his grip and fall hard to the canvas. RM: "Yoneyama is defintiely having a hard time dealing with the wiley veteran, Hollywood!" HP: "Any why wouldn't he? Jim's bigger, heavier, stronger, uglier. Well, ain't neither one pretty, that's for damn sure. Ever notice how Yoneyama looks like the asian version of 'Moe'?" CSJ climbs back down the ladder and lifts Yoneyama into a fireman's carry, holding him across his back. Jim climbs the ladder, step-by-step, moving all the way to the second-to-last step. RM: "The flag is certainly within Crimestarter Jim's reach now, Hollywood! I think he's going to take the flag with Yoneyama on his back in order to humiliate the youngster!" HP: "Hard to humiliate someone without humility." Jim stops climbing and looks out at the audience. He holds up one finger and shakes it at the audience. Then, like a demented angel, Jim simply turns and falls backwards off the ladder, Yoneyama held to his upper back! The two men plummet to the mat and practically shatter it. The impact knocks over the ladder. Yoneyama connects with the mat first, bouncing off of it, arms and legs akimbo. CSJ uses Yoneyama to break his fall, but even he felt the impact of that one. RM: "Oh no! Oh no! That was a twelve-foot fall, Hollywood! If you add Crimestarter Jim's height in there, that was eighteen feet to the canvas for poor Naoki Yoneyama!" HP: "Flat as a sandwich, eh, Manning?" Jim rolls to his side and gets to his hands and knees. He's shaking his head, trying to clear the pain away. He crawls over to the lowest rung of the ladder and starts to climb. Each step is painful for him. CSJ climbs to the second rung. The referee is checking on Yoneyama. CSJ climbs to the third rung, then the fourth. Yoneyama seems to be out cold! CSJ climbs to the fifth rung, then the sixth! RM: "He's half-way up the ladder, Hollywood!" HP: "Half-way don't count, not even in losing your virginity, Manning!" CSJ makes it to the seventh rung. The referee is signaling for EMT help for Yoneyama. CSJ makes it to the eighth rung! Suddenly the lights go out in the arena, and eerie, but majestic Gregorian chants begin to sound out! Red and green lasers form a V at the entranceway, while the words "Metropolitan MEGAstar" scroll across the video screen. RM: "It's The Vindicator! He's done with Dale D'Amico, and now he's here to ruin Crimestarter Jim's night as well!" CSJ's eyes go wide. He climbs to the ninth rung! Vindicator sprints out from the backstage area. The crowd is going nucking futs! Vindicator hits the ring! Vindy delivers a wicked drop-kick to the ladder, sending it shooting out from beneath CSJ's feet. Jim falls to the canvas, landing hard on his back. Like a tornado, Vindy grabs his head and throws him from the ring, sending him sprawling on the mats below. Vindicator slides out of the ring and falls on CSJ with an elbow; he straddles him, and begins punching his face with repeated, solid right hands. Vindicator drags CSJ to his feet, and whips him into the guard rails around the ring. Jim flips over the rail and into a crowd of cheering fans! RM: "The Vindicator has hit the ring like a ton of bricks, spoiling CSJ's near win over Naoki Yoneyama!" HP: "Ain't completely spoiled yet, Manning! Sammich-boy is still out cold!" The EMTs rush out of the back with a stretcher and a kit. A large black man follows them out, in beat-up carpenter jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. RM: "It's Dontre Nero!" HP: "What does Nero have going on with Yoneyama, anyhow?" RM: "Mutual respect?" HP: "For doing what? My aunt Gertrude has a better win record than these two monkey-humpers!" The EMTs begin tending to Naoki Yoneyama. Nero pushes them away, screaming for them to get away from the Sammich master. CSJ starts to climb back over the railing. Vindicator locks him into a headlock, then lifts him into the air; suddenly, Vindy brings him down hard again, straddling the guardrail! CSJ lands goody-bag first on the rail. His eyes go wide and roll backwards in his head. He slowly slides to the side and falls off the guardrail, landing on the ringside concrete. The crowd is groaning in pain along with him. Dontre Nero gently picks up Naoki Yoneyama in a fireman's carry. Quickly, he walks over to the ladder and sets it back on its base. Nero starts to climb up the ladder. RM: "Dontre Nero is taking Yoneyama to the top of the ladder! The little fellow might actually win this thing!" HP: "He sure as hell won't be able to take any damn pride in it, Manning! What a load of crap!" Outside the ring, Vindy sits on CSJ's back and simply holds him there. Jim is too concerned with finding his balls again, that he doesn't seem to notice. Nero ascends the ladder, getting to the top with Yoneyama on his shoulders. Nero yanks down the flag and stuffs it into Yoneyama's hand. The referee calls for the bell! **DING DING DING** PA: "Here is your winner, advancing to the PlunderQuest Finals ... NAOOOOOOKI YONEYAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAA!!!" (The fans rise to their feet in wild cheers, as Nero descends the ladder and helps hold up a groggy, barely conscious Yoneyama. Nero holds his arm aloft and points to him. The crowd is going crazy with cheers for Naoki!) HP: "I don't freaking believe it! How did the DCWL ever come to a point where a worthless piece of trash would be fighting for the Plunderweight title on a Supercard?!" RM: "It's without question the biggest upset of the PlunderQuest Tournament ... Naoki Yoneyama, with help from Dontre Nero and The Vindicator, has won this match!" (Vindicator gets off of Jim's back and starts to walk up the ramp. Crimestarter Jim drags himself to a standing position, though still bent over and holding his sack, and glares at the rampway where Vindy just disappeared.) RM: "If The Vindicator shows up anywhere later tonight, Hollywood, something tells me that Crimestarter Jim won't be far behind!" HP: "And hopefully that Noaki dumpheap won't be anywhere at all, dammit! That dude is gonna get creamed in the Finals!" RM: "We've got an incident arising backstage folks, so let's go check it out!" (We cut backstage, near to the entrance gates, where we see one of Noah Prejudice's burly security guards having a heated argument with another man.) SECURITY GUARD (SG): "Leave at once. This is my last warning." (The guard is in his usual garb of a black T-Shirt, boots and pants; a billy club dangles from his belt and a pissed-off look complements the whole. Our guard is like, six-feet-five, and certainly dwarfs the other guy standing next to him as he only stands about 5'8". He looks everywhere but where the guard is standing.) STRANGER: "I want some popcorn." (rubs his pot belly.) (He certainly hasn't listened a single word, as all he can think of right now is a tub of warm, buttered popcorn. We don't know for certain how long has this man stayed around the backstage area in search of his favorite snack, but the angered, frustrated look in the face of the guard reveals it must've been a friggen lot.) SG: "Sir, you can't stay here. Please understand, I must escort you out of the premises." STRANGER: "Ha! The premises. PREMISES! MUAHAHAHAHA!!" (The puzzling intruder is a caucasian wearing a red windbreaker with the Boston Red Sox printed on the front, a pair of ordinary blue jeans, and white sneakers. He is also wearing a Red Sox baseball hat and a pair of shades, despite the fact it's late in the evening. However, under the sunglasses, we identify the distinctive features of a senior, especially a lot of wrinkles and messy gray hair. The man must be somewhere in his 70's, so his advanced age could justify his madness.) STRANGER: "Sonny, I wish you were the one who could understand, but I have already noticed you kids won't listen. You like to play tough guys these days, when you don't really have a damn idea of what toughness is about. All I want to do is stay around and check how them boys do their thing. If you think that can do harm, then someone must've eaten your penis." SG: (very frustrated) "Shut the hell up! I'm just doing my job. Besides, my boss won't be pleased when he learns you are snooping around." (The man now listens, but the truth is he simply doesn't give a rat's ass for our random guard's job, duty, or sense of responsability. You can feel a strange force emanating from this mysterious individual. He hasn't revealed his identity and doesn't even hold a ticket, but he has made his way into the arena, his motives shrouded in mystery. the man points to the billy club, still hanging from the guard's belt.) STRANGER: "Are you going to use that on me?" (The guard tries to keep his cool, but he hesitates. We can now notice his... nervousness?) STRANGER: "Kid, have you ever been at the wrong end of an M-16?" SG: "..." (clinches his teeth, shivers, his hand still grasping the weapon.) STRANGER: "Oh, c'mon! Look at yourself, that's just pathetic. I mean, you don't even have the testicles to use your damn billy club and beat the crap out of an old man... or maybe you're trying to give your truncheon a hand job! You are no man, you are a pansy! I don't like pansies, so you'd better stay the hell out of my way. I can't afford to dawdle." (The guard's face is red like a tomato. How could this old fart trash-talk him this way? Not that he feared to beat him to a pulp... nor that he feared to do his job, that's what he gets paid for. However... there is a horrific presence following this man, something our senses don't seen to perceive entirely. Small minds might think of it as some cheap gimmick, but we know those old school days are over. Old school? Hmmm...) (Our trusty guard gets a hold of his walkie talkie as the old man approaches him. He's surely going to call for backup! Backup? It's just a crazy old man! Still, he never manages to say a word as the device slides out of his shaky hand. Our big bad ass is now visibly jumpy.) STRANGER: "Son, there was a time when I was greatly acquainted with all of this. The smoke-filled arenas. The long trips. The sound of bone and sinew breaking and tearing apart. All, minus the crappy merchandise and the pansy ass guards who pretend to know everything, of course. Now, if you excuse me. I want to see what I've missed all these years... AND I STILL WANT POPCORN, DAMMIT!!" (The old man backs off, and picks a dirty backpack he was carrying. He then starts walking away, and disappears through one of the many halls of the Fleet Center. We see the sweaty guard, following him with his eyes, before catching his breath and muttering something...) SG: "You... you'll regret this." (Cut back to the broadcast table.) RM: "We are set to continue with the PlunderQuest matches, Hollywood, and up next is one of your favorites!" HP: "YES! The Strap Match! HA!" RM: "This one should be a good one, Hollywood. There's definitely no love lost between these two competitors." HP: "You know, for once, Rich, I agree with you. This one is going to be pretty damn good. It's going to be GREAT watching Akbar tear that criminal Nero apart! Bring on the PLUNDAH, baby!" **DING DING DING** PA: "The following contest is a first round match in the PlunderQuest Tournament, and will be contested as a LEATHER STRAP MATCH! The only ways to win are by dragging one's opponent to all four corners consecutively and without interruption, or by points at the expiration of the 15-minute time limit! The one exception to the points system in this match is that the Leather Strap CANNOT be considered in the scoring! And now, introducing first..." (The lights dim as torches are placed along side the entrance way. The Arabic sounds of the techno version of "Habibi Ya Nour Alin" plays over the speakers as the crowd bellows boos. Out steps Ahmed Mullah Akbar, wearing his notorious black Saudi Style Abaya with a red arabic symbol in the center of his chest, which stands for "BLOOD." and the DCWL tag titles drapped across his shoulder. His once shining black boots, are torn all up to signify the many battles he has been through in his twelve year career. He wears a black velvet Kufi with diamonds around it, each one signifying a muslim country.) PA: "... making his way to the ring ... hailing from Doha, Qatar ... at 345 pounds and 6 feet and 7 inches... AHMED... MULLAH... AKBAAAAR!" (You can see scars accoss his forehead, from his many battles in Japan with barbedwire. He is half Black, and half Middle Eastern, with light blue eyes, which make him look very strange, yet evil. He slowly makes his way down to the ring, ignoring the fans. He slips through the ropes, pulls his Abaya and Kufi off and tosses it to the ring. He impatiently waits for his opponent, clenching his fists with hatred.) RM: "It looks like Akbar's in a hurry to get this match started." HP: "Who can blame him? I'd be in a hurry to get my hands on that punk too!" (An impressive, harmonic chorus of guitars wails from the PA as Devin Townsend's "My Life" begins to kick from the speakers. The arena goes black and the screen lights up with large block letters: N E R O.) #My life is all that I've known...# #And it's all that keeps me here...# PA: "And his opponent... hailing from New Orleans, Louisianna, and weighing in at 260 pounds... here is DONTRE NEEEEEEERO!!!" (A succession of pyro cannisters fire and Dontre Nero walks out from the back. He is a striking 6'6", 260lbs. black man with large, powerful arms and thick thighs. He wears a pair of dirty, ripped blue jeans and a bright orange T-shirt that says 'Department of Corrections' on the back and has a seven-digit number on the left breast. His head is shaved and his skin glistens in the blue-black spotlight.) #My time is all that I own...# #So I won't let it slip away...# (The chorus to the song kicks in, filling the arena with harmonic, powerful vocals.) #How long can this life go on# #Who we are, What we are# #I'll see you on the other side# (Nero stalks to the ring, shaking out his fists. He calmly ascends the ring steps and climbs the ropes, standing at the second turnbuckle. Nero glares around the arena, then drops back to the ring apron and steps into the ring.) RM: "With the added stipulation that the strap cannot be counted for points, the competitors are going to have to work extra hard to earn them in order to win this match!" HP: "Sounds fine to me! Of course, it shouldn't take too long for Akbar to make quick work of Nero, so they won't need the damn point system anyway." Nero and Akbar stand just feet away from each other, each appraising his opponent with narrowed eyes, as the referee ties the leather strap to their wrists; Akbar's right and Nero's left. Both do not take their eyes from each other, wary of a surprise attack, even under the referee's watchful gaze. RM: "Both of these men don't trust each other one bit, and that's probably with good reason." HP: "Well, I guess it's good they're wrestling each other, then, instead of rock climbing together or something, huh?!" **DING DING DING** As soon as the referee signals, and the bell rings, Akbar wastes no time, and charges at Dontre Nero, spearing him to the ground! He begins punching the ex-con in the face, with hard lefts and rights, causing Nero to cover up in defense, as they roll about the ring, and eventually out onto the concrete! RM: "Akbar getting right down to business, taking Nero to the floor early on in this match." HP: "That's where all the plunder is, Rich! Get under that ring, Akbar, pull out a chair or something!" Akbar is the first to get to his feet, and gathers the slack of the leather strap, attempting to wrap it around, and choke the exposed neck of Donre Nero, but the ex-con rolls to his right, and away from the evil Ahmed Mullah Akbar. Both men rise to their feet somewhat slowly, with Akbar still holding onto the slack. RM: "Nero narrowly avoiding a choke hold with the strap there, that could've put an end to this match early." HP: "Akbar's just toying with him right now, Rich. Just wait." Then, with a speed that's surprising for the big man, Akbar rolls back into the ring, releasing the slack and quickly standing up. He yanks on the strap hard, and subsequently pulls Nero's arm into the ring. Akbar jumps into the air, and stomps down on a defenseless Nero's arm, causing the ex-con to wince in pain, as he rolls into the ring to avoid further damage. HP: "HA! What'd I tell you?" RM: "Akbar definitely has the advantage so far in this matchup, and he's making full use of the Strap stipulation." As Dontre holds his arm, with a look of concern on his face, Akbar gathers the slack of the leather strap once more, with a devilish look upon his face... *! CRAAAAACK !* Akbar lashes the leather strap across Nero's back, causing the ex-con to let out a horrible scream... *! CRAAAAACK !* *! CRAAAAACK !* *! CRAAAAACK !* RM: "And Akbar's just tearing into Nero with that leather strap!" HP: "Now THAT'S what I like to see! PLUNDAH!" Akbar lets loose with three more shots, all across Nero's exposed back, and blood begins to seep from cuts, amongst the quickly developing welts on the ex-con. Nero has no choice but to stand up, and protect his back from the shots. RM: "He's bleeding pretty badly now. This can't be good for Dontre Nero, who certainly wants to join his buddy Naoki Yoneyama in the Finals!" HP: "Maybe Nero wouldn't be looking like such a weak-ass if he hadn't wasted his time helping that sad-sack earlier on ... on the other hand, nah, Akbar was gonna kick his damn ass either way! HA!" Quickly, Akbar slides the strap through Nero's legs, and grabs a hold of Nero's right arm. Spinning 90-degrees, Akbar throws Nero across the ring with ease, in a modified strap-assisted Pumphandle Suplex. Nero lands hard on his back, and immediately winces in pain. Akbar begins to approach his fallen opponent, But Nero pulls down hard on the strap, Pulling himself to his feet and extending Akbar's arm. The crowd begins to cheer as Nero lays into Akbar, Pounding the Muslim with punch after punch, And then wraps the strap around his neck, And begins to apply a leather-enhanced Hangman's choke! RM: "And Dontre Nero making a comeback now, with these fans doing their best to get him back into the match!" HP: "They're too stupid to recognize it's a lost cause, of course." The Crazy Muslim powers out and whips Nero into the ropes, and upon return, Akbar hiptosses Nero over the top rope, but the ex-con lands on the apron, with a brilliant show of agility. Suddenly, Akbar wraps the strap around Nero's neck, and kicks out his legs, causing th ex-con to fall from the apron, and onto the conrete below. The saddistic Arab leans backwards, pulling Nero to his feet, and choking him with devastating effect! Nero kicks about, trying to escape the deathtrap, but soon his thrashing slows, then ceases. HP: "What'd I tell you, Rich?" RM: "Well, you're right about one thing, Hollywood, Akbar is definitely taking Dontre Nero apart in a very methodical and calculated manner." Satisfied, Akbar loosens to the strap from around Nero's throat, and Nero coughs and gasps for breath. Ahmed Mullah Akbar walks over to the nearby corner, and begins to rip off the padding, exposing the metal rigging underneath. Nero slowly climbs back into the ring, over the top rope, only for Akbar to slip the strap under Nero's arms, and lifts him up over his head, sending Nero crashing down into the canvas, with a devistating Overhead Belly-to-Belly Suplex, Unrelenting, Akbar picks up Nero, and whips him into the corner, where the ex-con slams hard into the exposed turnbuckle. Akbar charges at the dazed Nero, but the ex-con craftily ducks down, causing Akbar to crash face-first, into the exposed top turnbuckle! RM: "And a smart move by Nero sends Akbar into the turnbuckle! And now AKBAR is bleeding!" HP: "Hey ... does an exposed turnbuckle count for points?" RM: "I have no idea, Hollywood! If it does, Dontre Nero is ahead!" With his second wind, Nero scoops up the stunned Akbar, and slams him upside-down, locking his legs around the ropes in a tree-of-woe. Sliding out of the ring, Nero wraps the strap around Akbar's neck, and around the ring post, before sliding back into the ring, creating a rather devilish trap for the Muslim. Nero slides back into the ring, And begins to lay into him with kicks and punches, as Akbar struggles to free himself in vain. RM: "It looks like Akbar's the one who's in trouble now!" HP: "He can't do that to Akbar, that's not fair! Come on, Akbar, get yourself out of that thing, dammit!" The crowd is going nuts as Nero pounds the Muslim, With vicious strikes from his feet and fists alike. Then he smiles wickedly, and narrows his eyes, Before leaning back and pulling hard on the strap, Causing the leather to tighten around Akbar's neck. Akbar's struggles intensify sharply, as he struggles to break free of the ropes, and to maintain consciousness as well. But his fighting begins to slow and his eyes begin to close, the crowd roaring as the Muslim nears unconsciousness. RM: "It looks like Nero's going to choke Akbar out!" HP: "NO! DAMN IT! COME ON!" RM: "Nero may have this thing won! He just needs to drag Akbar to the four corners, and it will be all ov..." **DING DING DING** The referee is signalling for the bell, and the crowd quiets to a curious buzz. After rolling out of the ring, he quickly hurries to the announcer's table, and explains something to the announcer. Then the announcer explains the call. PA: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! The 15-minute time limit has expired, therefore this match has ended in a DRAW!" (The crowd explodes into a chorus of boos as Dontre Nero growls in frustration, while Akbar remains upside down in the corner.) RM: "Dontre Nero was so close to putting Akbar away, Hollywood!" HP: "YES! Saved by the bell! HA!" PA: "The official judges at ringside have declared that NO POINTS have been scored by either wrestler ... therefore, both men are eliminated from the Plunderquest Tournament!" HP: "Wait a damn second, that's not fair!" (The crowd would seem to agree, judging by their boos of disapproval. The referee ignores them and slides back into the ring, and begins motioning for Nero to untie Akbar. He refuses, at first, but the sight of security coming down the ramp causes him to cease any ideas about continuing the attack.) RM: "And the referee is removing the strap from Nero's wrist, trying to get these two men separated." HP: "He's trying to keep that convict from getting any cheap shots in on Akbar, that's what he's doing!" (The boos turns to a cheer, though, as Commissioner KrackerJak steps through the curtain and onto the stage, a smile on his lips.) KJ: "Not so fast, gentlemen." (Nero turns and walks to the ropes nearest the ramp, looking out at KrackerJak as the referee works to release Akbar from the rope-and-leather web.) KJ: "Now, I don't think it's fair for either of you to be kicked out of the tournament... or to deprive these fans from seeing the two of you continue to beat the living crap out of each other." (The fans roar their approval, but the commissioner waves them off with a grin.) KJ: "But it's also not fair to let both of you go to the tournament, and give you an equal footing with everyone else who's actually legitimately won their match. So. Here's the deal. Both of you will participate in the tournament finals--and you'll be wearing that strap while you do it!" (The announcement causes the cheers to redouble in volume, and KrackerJak laughs as he begins to step backwards towards the curtain.) KJ: "Good luck. You'll need all the help you can get." (The crowd is going nuts, as Akbar--newly freed from the ropes--and Nero turn and stare at each other with disdain.) RM: "Neither one of these men look very happy about being stuck with each other again, but it will definitely make things interesting for the final match later this evening!" HP: "Well, that's the first semi-intelligent decision KrackerJak's made as Commissioner, dammit." (The two men exchange words before Akbar rolls out of the ring and heads for the back, leaving Nero to celebrate moving on in the tournmanet with the crowd!) RM: "Folks, we have just one match remaining in the first round of the PlunderQuest Tournament, and while the ring crew sets up the Steel Cage for that final match, let's get your thoughts on what so far has been an extremely entertaining series of matches!" HP: "You got it, numb bum. Looks like we've got five dudes heading to the finals ... Skye Ashner, Haplo, Naoki Yoneyama, and now Akbar and Nero tied together by a damn strap!" RM: "We can't forget about Jess Bollinger, Hollywood, who was scheduled to face The Capitol in the first round, but in the wake of his untimely death, Bollinger is receiving a bye into the finals as well!" HP: "It woulda been a damn fine fight, too, Manning. Bollinger has been kicking some serious ass, to the point that he and Akbar are the freaking Tag Champs now!" RM: "You make a great point, Hollywood. And I think that..." # BRINGING THE VIOLENCE! # [Manning is interrupted, as "Keep Away" fires up over the PA and the fans immediately start to boo.] RM: "It looks like our conversation was burning the ears of Jess Bollinger backstage! He isn't scheduled out here, Hollywood!" HP: "Hey, the dude deserves some freaking airtime! Let him have it, dammit!" [ Bollinger parts the curtains and steps out onto the ramp. He is in his gear and has a smirk on his face. The ring crew continues to set up the Steel Cage, as Jess walks to the ring in a timely fashion paying no attention to the fans. Taking the mic, Jess stands amid a semi-erect cage and waits for them to quiet down.] Jess: A few short weeks ago, we lost a legend in the wrestling business. More importantly, we lost one of the most popular men in DCWL/WWA/IWL history. Whether you loved him or hated him, everyone respected The Capitol. [ The fans give a respectful cheer for the fallen superstar.] Jess: I've seen all the reports about his death. Everyone is claiming that it was a simple accident. I however have it on good authority that those beliefs are false. If you stop and think real hard, the true meaning for his death will hit you harder then Skye Ashner choking in the big matches. [ Fans boo loudly.] Jess: Ladies and gentlemen... I will now reveal to you the true reason for The Capitol's death... He was afraid to face ME! [ A tremendous heel pop shakes the whole arena.] RM: "What an absurd suggestion! The Capitol never backed down from any fight in his entire career!" [ Jess smirks at the displeasure of the fans.] Jess: It's not that difficult to imagine. You all know that ever since my return, I've been making waves in the DCWL. The Capitol has been around a long time and his career was winding down. It was kind of like Rocky. He knew he didn't have a prayer against Tommy Gun in Rocky 5. Although in the movie he won. This is not Hollywood and Capitol knew this. He knew that he could not beat the much stronger, younger, and more talented performer, which is yours truly. So what does he do? The pussy runs out in front of a car and let's himself be hit. It's a shame really. I wouldn't have minded ending that old man's career for him, and... *! THUMP !* *! THUMP !* *! THUMP !* (Bollinger's rant is interrupted by the sound of a slow, methodical drum beat pounding throughout the area. Ringside fans stand to their feet, as a massive figure passes through the entranceway.) RM: "IT'S JACK KETCH! Ketch has apparently heard enough of Bollinger's trashing of his old stablemate!" HP: "YEAH! Let's see these two big boys get it on, dammit!" (The black lycra lenses of Ketch's mask are solely focused on Bollinger, who drops the microphone he was holding, and begins to back away from where Ketch is approaching. The fans are wildly cheering this imprompty confrontation, as they stand on their feet in excitement!) RM: "Jack Ketch is going to be facing off against Bedrock in an absolutely HUGE rematch later tonight, but right now he's going to shut the loud mouth of that young Bollinger!" HP: "Don't be so sure of that, Manning! Bollinger is a tough kid, and has stood up to anyone that he's crossed!" (As Ketch climbs the ring steps and onto the apron, Jess Bollinger continues to back up, and backs right into a wall of the Steel Cage! He looks around, and finds that three of the four cage walls have been erected now, trapping him in the ring with Jack Ketch!) HP: "YES! We're gonna have a cage match before the cage match!" (Bollinger steps away from the cage wall, his fists clenched and his mouth frowning with a fighting spirit. Jack Ketch is in the cage now, and stands near center ring, when Bollinger hocks up and spits down at his feet!) RM: "Jess Bollinger is showing no respect to Jack Ketch at all!" HP: "But he's also showing no FEAR now either! HA!" (Suddenly, Bollinger lashes out with a wild punch, which Ketch takes across the cheek without much reaction. Bollinger lets another haymaker loose, which Ketch also absorbs easily. Jess winds up for another punch, when Ketch's own hand lashes out and grasps him around the throat! The fans are cheering wildly, as Ketch lifts Bollinger with one arm and delivers a chokeslam that shakes the cage walls in its impact!) RM: "Bollinger is down! He's going to wish he had never even thought about speaking ill will towards The Capitol!" (Ketch reaches down and yanks Bollinger up to his feet, who is too dazed from the chokeslam to fight back. Ketch runs with him towards one of the cage walls and tosses Bollinger into it face-first! Bollinger shrivels to the canvas, trying to cover his head ... but it does no good, and Ketch quickly has him on his feet again, before lifting Jess into a fireman's carry.) HP: "DAMN! You know justice is being served cold when Ketch picks you up like that, Manning." RM: "The Widowmaker is coming up, folks!" (Ketch runs quickly towards the corner, scaling up the buckles to the top, spikes sideways to smash Bollinger's head into the cage again, and then leaps back into a Super Death Valley Driver!) *! THWAM !* RM: "Stick a fork in Bollinger, he's done!" (The crowd is on its feet cheering, as Ketch stands up from the fallen form of his foe, and then calmly exits the ring. Jess Bollinger is left on the canvas, the shadow of the steel cage hovering over him as he remains motionless.) HP: "Well, if you're gonna dish out the hot stuff, you've gotta take some licks every now and then ... not sure that this was the smartest damn time to be taking some licks from Jack Ketch, tho!" RM: "You're exactly right, Hollywood! Jess Bollinger had a free ride into the finals of the PlunderQuest Tournament, and would have been the most rested of all the grapplers. Now he may be in worse shape than anyone else!" HP: "Ah well ... even if he wound up on his damn back, you can't even buy attention like that on a DCWL Supercard! Jess Bollinger is gonna be a name on the lips of the humanoids after this show, no matter how his ass fares in the finals of the damn tournament!" RM: "Speaking of which, let's get the Steel Cage match underway!" # JUST WATCH ME! # [And with that, the video wall blacks out, and it's the slow twang of "Goin' Out West" by Tom Waits on the PA. Our blue-haired friend parts the curtain, and one can recognize him by the omni-present smirk, and with his entrance a feedback entrenched electric guitar breaks in. This is Jackson Hunter. The video wall displays images of frog-splashes, chair-smashes, and other wholesome family-friendly images.] ## Well I'm goin' out west ## ## Where the wind blows tall ## ## 'Cause Tony Franciosa ## ## Used to date my ma ## ## They got some money out there ## ## They're giving it away ## ## I'm gonna do what I want ## ## And I'm gonna get paid ## ## Do what I want ## ## And I'm gonna get paid ## **DING DING DING** PA: "The following contest is a first round match in the PlunderQuest Tournament, and will be contested as a STEEL CAGE MATCH! The only ways to win are by escaping the cage, or by points at the expiration of the 15-minute time limit! Introducing first ... from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada ... weighing in at 236 pounds ... here is JACKSON HUUUNNNTTTEERRR!!!" [Jax slowly struts his way down to the ring, happily ignoring the entirety of humanity surrounding, adjusting his black elbow pads. He has matching boots and-- undoubtably very expensive-- black tights with iridescent silver snakeskin patterning.] # Little brown sausages # # Lying in the sand # # I ain't no extra baby # # I'm a leading man # # Well my parole officer # # Will be proud of me # # With my Olds 88 # # And the devil on a leash # # My Olds 88 # # And the devil on a leash # [As Jax reaches the end of the aisle, he dashes, and runs through the cage door. He mounts the middle turnbuckle, but facing AWAY from the crowd, and raises his arms, seemingly to himself.] # Well I know karate, voodoo too # # I'm gonna make myself available to you # # I don't need no make up # # I got real scars # # I got hair on my chest # # I look good without a shirt # HP: "He might think he looks good without a shirt, but he's got nothin' on Ol' Panzerotti!" RM: "I sure don't want to see you without a shirt on, Hollywood." HP: "Aw, come on! It's not like I'm a chubby Pillsbury Doughboy like you! I'm about as ripped as they come, dammit!" RM: "I'll take your word for it." (All of the lights cut out, blanketing the arena in total darkness. The intro to Creed's "What If" begins to flow over the crowd, a guitar and a bass playing counterpoint to each other, causing the fans to go into a frenzy. The music builds, with both instruments building in volume, until a short drum roll and a sharp guitar lick suddenly break the steady rhythmic tide.) PA: "And his opponent..." # I can't find the rhyme in all my reason # # Lost sense of time and all seasons # # Feel I've been beaten down # # By the words of men who have no grounds # (Heavy, percussive guitar chords grind methodically over the arena's sound system, as blindingly bright silver and white fireworks explode around the entrance. The smoke fades, and a soft silvery blue light fills the arena, revealing the muscular form of Mark Haley standing on the stage and sparking a huge roar from his thousands of fans. His head is down, arms down and out to his sides, and he wears a white towel over his head.) # Can't sleep beneath the trees of wisdom # # When your axe has cut the roots that feed them # # Forked tongues in bitter mouths # # Can drive a man to bleed from inside out # (Mark Haley is an athletic, muscular man, six and a half feet tall, his body the product of a single-minded pursuit of physical perfection. Despite the hardness of his facial features, there is a shadowy handsomeness to him, punctuated by his strong, clean-shaven jaw. He wears black wrestling tights, made out of some kind of shiny, leather-like material that reflects the blue- silver light, along with black boots and fingerless gloves. His torso is covered by a black T-shirt with an image of the sun's corona on the front; over that, he wears a black leather duster that comes down to mid-calf. He also wears a pair of his trademark thin black sunglasses, and carries his black metal bo staff in his right hand. The towel on his head is draped over his hair and shoulders, masking his face in shadows from the already low lights.) # What if you did? # # What if you lied? # (As the crowd continues to cheer for Mark, he simply soaks in their reaction, slowly looking from side to side, his gaze drifting from one end of the arena to the other.) # What if I avenge? # # What if eye for an eye? # (Suddenly, in one quick, fluid motion, he reaches up and tugs the towel down and off, whipping his head back violently. The swift movement reveals his face, stony and stoic, as well as his long, wavy mane, once bright and blond, now jet black. He looks from side to side again, quickly this time, sending his dark hair flying from shoulder to shoulder.) PA: "... Hailing from Los Angeles, California ... weighing in at 263 pounds ... here is MARK HAAAAAAAAALEEEEEEEEEY!!!" (After gazing around the arena for a few moments longer, looking over his thousands of cheering fans, a small smirk comes to Haley's lips. He slowly raises both arms in acknowledgment of them, and then violently brings them back down, setting off another group of silver and white fireworks all around him, before he starts down the ramp, the duster billowing out behind him as he walks.) # I've seen the wicked fruit of your vine # # Destroy the man who lacks a strong mind # # Human pride sings a vengeful song # # Inspired by the times you've been walked on # (Haley stalks down the length of the ramp, his dark brown eyes narrow and cold behind his sunglasses. He doesn't even seem to acknowledge the fans on the way down, not even giving them a single high-five; however, as Mark nears the bottom of the ramp, he roughly flings the towel into the audience, showing that they aren't completely forgotten... just secondary, right now, as his focus is directed elsewhere.) # My stage is shared by many millions # # Who lift their hands up high because they feel this # # We are one, we are strong # # The more you hold us down, the more we press on # (Haley reaches the bottom of the ramp and drops his bo staff there, before dropping down and looking under the ring for something. He pulls out a few items--a concrete block, a steel chair, a 2x4--and tosses them all up and over the cage wall, and into the ring.) HP: "What does that idiot think he's doing?" RM: "Hey, this is a cage match. Anything goes!" HP: "Oh well, at least it adds to the PLUNDAH!" RM: "I've never met anyone who loves to say a word as much as you love to say that one!" HP: "You mean, PLUNDAH? Come on, what about people who incessantly scream 'PUPPIES' or 'SLOBBERKNOCKER'?" RM: "Good point. Anyway, it's well-known that Haley wants to destroy Hunter in this match, especially because of Hunter's actions at this past Total Dementia!" # What if you did? # # What if you lied? # # What if I avenge? # # What if eye for an eye? # (With a hard smile on his lips, Haley stands, turns, and faces the audience, raising his arm in the air to the cheers of his fans. Then he removes his sunglasses and flings them into the crowd, where several people scramble to try and catch them before one lucky person ends up with the treasured shades. As the thick, almost industrial guitar break begins, he removes his duster in a flowing, circular motion, and tosses it aside. The T-shirt is next to come off, drawing some high- pitched cheers from the DCWL's female fans, and it too is thrown off to the side with the duster. Both the duster and shirt are retrieved by the ring crew as the lights come back up and the music fades, while Haley adjusts his elbow pads and gloves, then picks up his bo and walks around to enter the cage.) RM: "One thing about Mark Haley — he knows how to make an entrance." HP: "Sure, whatever. Ol' Panzerotti says he knows how to eat up air time. HA!" (Mark Haley is set for battle armed with the bo, but is kept from moving in by the speaking of Jackson Hunter's voice into a handy microphone.) JAX: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Marky. Now I know you're a little mad at me because you couldn't get Tawny's hands in your throat, but I had to do what I had to do. I don't like Tawny, either-- I suspect she's seen more shaft than Richard Roundtree-- but remember that cliche of 'enemy of my enemy'. Listen, man, I'm in no shape to compete here, but if I could, I would not hesitate, how shall I put this, eclipse you. But since I can't, there's only one option. I'm gonna have to ask you to forfeit the match to me." (Mark Haley raises an eyebrow, but no other reaction can be detected from the bo-weilding grappler.) JAX: "You're the one who injured me, you're the one who should be punished. Why should I be the one punished for you being an ass? It's only right that you go home and never cross my path again, Dolph." (Haley looks out to the crowd, which is peppering the ring with moderate jeers for Jackson's gum-flapping.) JAX: "And what business do you have facing me anyway? You're just some pretty boy who's here for a quick buck and easy fame. I wager dollars to Timbits that the only reason that you've gotten anywhere in the business is that you were a B-movie star. Listen, you're a barely sentient member of the roster who most of Hollywood barely tolerated and whose very existence embarasses me to the core. So I'm telling you again: forfeit the match to me." (Mark Haley responds to the demand with a sharp swing of his bo, just reaching shy of Jackson Hunter's chin! With that, the referee calls for the bell!) **DING DING DING** The two men circle each other, and Hunter eyes Haley warily because of the bo. He quickly tries to grab for the 2X4, but Haley smacks his arms with the bo. Haley jabs the bo into Hunter's stomach, causing him to bend over. Hooking his arm around Hunter's head, and dropping him down with a DDT! RM: "A vicious DDT from Mark Haley to open the match!" HP: "Yeah, he's off to a good start thanks to the damn bo, but can he keep it up? Ol' Panzerotti thinks Haley is gonna choke!" Haley hooks the bo around Hunter's neck and begins to pull upward, using the bo for extra leverage in the hold. Hunter cries out in pain, but throws an elbow to the stomach of Haley. Haley is undaunted by the elbow at first, but two more cause him to break the hold. RM: "Looks like Jackson Hunter is going to try and turn the tide here!" Hunter backs up, then rushes at Haley to attempt a clothesline. Haley, however, still has the bo, and ducking out of the way, he cracks the bo across Hunter's back, sending Hunter sprawling to the mat. RM: "An attempted clothesline by Hunter is thwarted by Haley's bo!" HP: "Well, you know what they say. 'Bo knows clotheslines'!" RM: "Har, har! Thanks for that trip back to the early 90's!" Haley's bo attack sent Hunter down by the 2X4's resting place. Hunter reaches out and grabs it after he climbs to his knees. Haley hasn't seen this, and he approaches Hunter, who suddenly cracks the 2X4 across the right knee of Mark Haley. Haley crumples to his knees, and Hunter slams it across his forehead! RM: "Uh-oh! Haley brought those weapons into the ring, and he's paying for it here!" Hunter throws the 2X4 away, and he locks a sleeper hold on the fallen Mark Haley. Haley is in obvious pain, but he uses his strength advantage, and manages to pull himself to his feet. Reaching up behind him, he is able to grab Hunter's head, and drops down in a sort of neckbreaker. Both men struggle to their feet, and the crowd goes crazy as Haley uses an armdrag takeover. Hunter climbs back to his feet, but Haley uses a drop toehold to send him down again. RM: "Haley is fighting like a man possessed! Hunter has only had the momentum a couple of times in this match!" HP: "You think he'd do something exciting, though. After all, he's not going to score any points using arm drag takeovers!" Haley forces him to his feet, then sends him down with a swinging neckbreaker. He then sends Hunter reeling into the corner with an Irish whip. Hunter crashes into the turnbuckle, and stumbles right into a kick to the midsection. The crowd gives a huge pop, as Hunter's head is then placed between Haley's legs! RM: "Haley setting Hunter up for something here! What could he be doing? He's going for a powerbomb!" Haley, indeed, delivers a powerbomb, but he's so close to the corner, that Jax's head crashes into the bottom buckle on his way down. Hunter crumbles to mat and lies motionless. RM: "What a vicious shot from Haley! I think he could possibly have won the match right there with that move! He needs to go for the door!" HP: "The only question I have is will he be smart enough to go for the door right now, or is he going to get cute and try to finish in dramatic fashion by going to the top of the cage?" Almost as if on cue, Haley begins to scale the sides of the cage. A sound is heard, almost as if Hollywood has slapped his hand to his forehead. HP: "I hate to quote the movie Spaceballs, but I have to. 'So you see, evil will always triumph because good is DUMB!' Oh well, I hope he wastes a lot of time. Saves me from having to see Haley win a match!" Haley reaches the top of the cage, in the corner across from where Hunter is lying. Hunter is stirring a bit. Haley simply climbs up on the cage and turns and looks down. The crowd, sensing what Haley might be doing, suddenly begins to give a big bump pop! RM: "Oh my gosh! He's not going for the win!" HP: "What's that idiot doing? Doesn't he want to win the damn match?!" RM: "I think he does, but I think he wants to destroy Hunter as well. He's not going to go for the quick win, Hollywood! He's going to go for the throat!" Haley raises his hands above his head, then leaps from the cage and attempts an elbow drop. Sensing danger, Hunter rolls out of the way and Haley crashes on the mat, sixteen feet below where he started! RM: "He missed! Haley missed! After a fall like that, Hunter might be able to finish everything off right here!" HP: "Come on, Hunter! You need to go for the door right now! Hunter seems to agree. He grabs the ropes and slowly climbs to his feet." He heads for the door, which a referee on the outside of the cage opens. But Haley, digging deep, is also able to climb to his feet. He grabs his bo, rushes over to the door and hits Hunter with it. Both men crash to the mat, the desperation move leaving Haley gasping for air. RM: "Haley's crash from the top of the cage took a lot out of him, and Hunter is the first to his feet. Hunter knows his opponent isn't finished yet, and he's going to have to wear him down some more." HP: "He'll take care of it! I have a feeling that Haley sealed his own fate by taking that damn crazy-ass dive!" Hunter pulls Haley to his feet, but sends him back down with a vertical suplex. Being close to a corner, he quickly springs to the middle turnbuckle, and comes down with a leg drop across Haley's neck. Wasting absolutely no time, he pulls Haley up again and drops him with a DDT. After a couple of quick stomps, Haley hooks Haley into a chinlock. RM: "The momentum has certainly shifted here, and Haley is slowly being worn down by Hunter." HP: "This match might not last too much longer. I think Haley is still shaken up from that nasty fall!" Haley tries to fight back. Once again, some elbows to the gut force Hunter to break the hold. However, as Haley tries to shift the momentum with a clothesline, Hunter ducks the attempt, and catches Haley in the forehead with a spinning heel kick. Rushing to a corner, he tries to climb the cage. HP: "What?! Now Haley's going to try and climb out? Use the door, STUPID!" RM: "I think he figured he was too far away from the door, Hollywood. The door's clear on the other side of the ring!" Hunter doesn't make it far. Haley, possessed to not let Hunter get away, forces himself up. He grabs Hunter and pulls him down. Hunter lands on his feet with his back to Haley. Haley locks him up in a full nelson, and the crowd gives a pop. RM: "Haley used this 'Total Eclipse' to take out Jackson Hunter at the last episode of Total Dementia! It may work for him again right now!" HP: "Idiot! No submissions! It's a cage match!" Haley lifts Hunter in the air, and once he reaches the apex, Haley pushes down forward. He drives Hunter's down, face first, into the canvas! RM: "What a great facebuster variation of the Total Eclipse!" HP: "Dude, this guy has more finishers than anyone I've ever seen. How can you know enough names to tell them apart?" RM: "It's called doing my research." HP: "Blah, I haven't done research since the third grade. You don't need to waste time with that sort of stuff. All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten!" Haley climbs the corner of the cage again. He only goes a few feet from the turnbuckle however, before swinging his feet outward. He lets go and lands on top of Hunter with a body splash. RM: "What an innovative move by Haley! That's something I've never seen before!" HP: "That was kamikaze! You have to appreciate a move like that, even if it comes from Mark Haley!" Haley, however, is also a bit winded. In fact, it takes serious time for him to climb to his feet. By that time, a groggy Jackson Hunter has used the ropes, to rise up as well. Haley rushes at him and tries to spear him, but Hunter trips him with a drop toe hold. Both men get up at the same time, and Hunter quickly grabs Haley's head, and hurls it into the cage. He then throws Haley back first into the cage. Haley rebounds from the unforgiving steel, and walks right into a superkick from Jackson Hunter. Hunter makes a throat slashing motion, then points tauntingly at Haley as the crowd boos. RM: "Haley could be in trouble. I think Jackson Hunter might be trying to end this! He's trying to set up for his patented finisher, The Broken Arrow!" Hunter sets up Haley in what looks like a Pedigree. He grabs both legs for a double underhook, and gets ready for his version of the Rocker Dropper. But Haley stands up as soon as Jackson gets his leg over his neck, forcing Hunter to let go of Haley's arms. Haley suddenly counters the move into a fireman's carry, and plunges Hunter into a death valley driver! RM: "He's unable to hit it! Mark Haley has countered his way out of the Broken Arrow!" HP: "Yeah, but does he have anything left to let him make a break for the door?" RM: "It doesn't look like it! Both men are down!" Haley crawls over to the ropes and pulls himself slowly to his feet. He rushes over and grabs Hunter's head, pulling him to his feet. He tries to slam Hunter's head into the cage, but Hunter blocks it and suddenly jabs him in the midsection. In a sudden turn of events, Haley is doubled over, and Hunter again sets him up for the Broken Arrow! Hunter gets the double underhook, and goes for a Rocker Dropper. This time, Haley doesn't have the energy to counter it, and Hunter drives him into the canvas! RM: "What a turn! Unbelievable! The Broken Arrow out of nowhere, and this time he hits it!" HP: "Yes! I think it's over! I think Jackson Hunter has won the damn thing! I think he did it!" RM: "He's crawling toward the door! He also might not have much left in the tank! We've already had a string of upsets in the tournament, and this could be yet another!" HP: "Upset? I'd only be upset if he lost, dammit!" Taking an excruciating amount of time, Hunter slowly pulls himself toward the door. The referee opens it, and Hunter reaches out and grabs the ropes to pull himself up. HP: "Why didn't he just slide out?" RM: "I'm not sure. Maybe he just wants to leave on his feet. It might be some sort of triumphant exit! By the time he reaches his feet, and makes another throat slashing taunt, Haley has pulled himself to his feet. Running on sheer fumes and effort (as well as anger), he reaches out and grabs the ropes and is able to get up. He sees his bo near his feet. He grabs it and throws all he has into a sudden rush at Hunter. RM: "I think Hunter's going to make it! He's going to win! Haley is making a mad dash!" He swings the bo, but Hunter has heard him coming and has turned. In a quick defense, he manages to back body drop Haley, sending him over the top rope, falling between the cage and the ropes, and accidentally falling out the cage door, stumbling down to the concrete floor! **DING DING DING** PA: "Here is your winner, advancing to the PlunderQuest Finals ... MAAAAAARK HAAAAAAALEEEEEEEY!!!" (Hunter stares out the door in utter confusion, as a referee pulls Haley to his feet and raises his hand! Hunter shouts in fury and spits toward Haley, who is stumbling groggily towards the aisleway. As the referee lets go of the door, it comes swinging back, and Hunter kicks it viciously in his anger.) RM: "I don't believe it! Mark Haley stole this one from Jackson Hunter! Out of nowhere, he sort of accidentally won this match!" HP: "This is unfair! Haley was sent out there in a defensive move! He didn't even TRY to leave, dammit!" RM: "It doesn't matter! The rules don't say you have to try to win. They simply state you must be the first to touch the floor outside!" (Jackson Hunter is pacing around inside the cage, clearly trying to sort out everything that just went down. Suddenly, a familiar figure hops over the guard rail, and is heading towards the cage door.) HP: "Hey, that's Maurice Henri! That monkey humper used to be in the IWL and OWC, but now he's bringing his crap to the DCWL! BAH!" RM: "I recall his appearance on War of the Words not so long ago. He made a lot of bold claims!" (Maurice Henri steps into the ring, and brandishes a microphone from his pants. Jackson Hunter, an old foe of his from the OWC, stares in disbelief at the figure before him.) Henri: "Just another example of how a wrestler should recognize when they are past their prime ... I've sat in the back and watched on the monitor ... and all I see is old faces." (Maurice Henri hobbles around the ring, pretending he needs a walker to move. The crowd begins to jeer at him, defending the veteran superstars they love. Jackson Hunter crosses his arms over his chest, clearly growing impatient.) Henri: "I've had it. The day where aging stars who roam the ranks of DCWL wrestling are over. Wrestlers who should have hung up their ring attire long ago ... some of them are young enough to wrestle - sure, but this ring doesn't give a rat's ass about mathematical equations. There is no formula to say when a guy should stop coming to work, that's the job of the fans!" (The fans give a moderate response, as most enjoy being mentioned as an important part of the business.) Henri: "But lately it seems that anyone who comes to watch the DCWL - they don't know their brain from a can of spam. And that's why guys like Jackson Hunter, The Vindicator & JT Damon are all still employed! I'm sick of it. Today is a fresh start, nobody's job is safe! I'm going to crean house in DCWL and I'm starting with the dead meat ... the king of defeat ... Jackson Hunter!" (Henri suddenly gets cut off, by a swift kick to the gut, courtesy of Jackon Hunter! With Henri doubled over in shock, Hunter easily applies a double underhook, and drops Henri to the canvas with The Broken Arrow!) RM: "The Broken Arrow! He used it on Mark Haley moments ago, and now we've seen it again on Maurice Henri!" (Jackson Hunter receives a moderate cheer from the crowd as he stands over Henri's body. Suddenly, Henri lashes out with a low blow uppercut, sending an already exhausted Jackson crumbling to the canvas! Maurice Henri staggers up to his feet, and then moves in with a series of stomps to the ribs of Hunter! However, Hunter spins into a leg sweep, taking Henri back down to the mat again! Jackson leaps onto Henri's body, applying a double fisted choke on his old foe! Just then, a flood of security officers flood the steel cage, and begin pulling the two wrestlers apart!) HP: "Henri is a pansy! He talks a strong-ass game, but when the guns get pulled, he's the one laying flat on his damn back!" RM: "I think we've just witnessed the re-igniting of an old feud, Hollywood! This won't be the last battle between these former Champions of the old guard!" HP: "I'm not gonna waste Supercard time gabbing about these two old fogeys who still ain't proved much to Ol' Panzerotti in the DCWL." RM: "Folks, while the ring crew takes down the steel cage, let's check in backstage, where our cameras have caught up with Mark Haley!" (The video screen cuts to show Mark Haley walking through the hallways backstage; the sight of the dark hero draws a loud, mostly positive reaction from the crowd. Still in his ring gear from his match from Jackson Hunter, he tugs on his fingerless gloves and works out some of the soreness in his neck muscles when a bass voice calls out to him.) VOICE: "Mark!" (The camera rotates around Haley to get a glimpse over his shoulder, as Mark looks up to see the identity of the man speaking to him. There, leaning against a door that, apparently, leads to Mark's dressing room--as evidenced by the 'MARK HALEY' nameplate across it--is Mark's younger brother, the man who wrestled under the name 'Orion' and won championships in two companies doing it. Darien Haley.) DARIEN HALEY (DH): "Hey, bro. Great work in that match, man." (Mark just shakes his head and continues walking towards his brother, and the door he leans against.) MARK HALEY (MH): "I don't have time for this, Darien." (Darien stands up straight and tilts his head slightly.) DH: "Time for what?" (Mark sighs and comes to a halt right in front of Darien.) MH: "For your usual blabbering about what I'm doing wrong, and why I need to stop it." DH: "That's not why I'm here, Mark. I wanted to come help you celebrate your win." (That gets an eyeroll from the older Haley.) MH: "Uh huh. Right. Well, there's nothing to celebrate yet, Darien. I still have another match to win." (With that, Mark brushes by his brother, and starts to open the door to his dressing room.) DH: "But Mark, I brought a surprise for you--" (Darien follows Mark into the dressing room, who stops in his tracks as he sees the surprise his brother speaks of. There, sitting on the bench, is the raven-haired object of Mark's affection, Samantha Torlay. She's even wearing his new shirt, the black one with the image of the sun's corona on the chest, tucked into her jeans. While Mark is speechless, Samantha speaks softly, her green eyes betraying a sea of emotions. Sorrow. Hurt. Love.) SAMANTHA TORLAY (ST): "Hello, Mark." (Mark stands there in silence for a moment or two, before whirling about to go nose-to-nose with his brother and shouting in his face.) MH: "Damn it, Darien. I told you I didn't want her to see me like this! I *told* you I didn't want her to see what I've become!" (Darien's voice is soft when he speaks, like Samantha's own.) DH: "You also told me to tell her that you hoped she was doing well. That you hoped she would love you again when this was all over. And when I told her that, she couldn't have been kept away. She wanted to see you, Mark. She loves you." (Mark turns away and storms a few feet away, back to both Darien and Samantha.) DH: "You say you didn't want her to see what you've become? All she had to do was turn on the television to see that. She's known for a long time now what all of this has done to you, Mark." (Mark closes his eyes and bows his head as he replies to that, his voice soft like theirs now.) MH: "Maybe *I* didn't want to *see* her see what I've become." (There is a pause, a pregnant moment full of meaning, before Samantha breaks the quiet.) ST: "Mark, I can't watch you like this. I love--" (On that word, Mark turns on his heel to face both Samantha and Darien, interrupting her with his voice growing louder again.) MH: "Sammy, I can't deal with this right now. Alright? I've got another match I have to wrestle tonight. You were both here, you've seen how brutal all of these first round matches have been. This is going to be tougher than any of those were." (The older Haley snorts out a derisive laugh.) MH: "Hell, you saw the Plunderdome match at Cornerstone Revolution. And there's not a doubt in my mind that Krackerjak's come up with a way to top even that." (The concern on both Darien and Samantha's faces indicate that, yes, indeed, that thought has crossed their minds as well. Mark simply shakes his head and frowns.) MH: "No. No, I don't have time for this. Not right now. You know how I feel about you, Sammy, but this... no. I can't do this." (Mark turns and starts for the door to leave his dressing room.) MH: "If I can't get some peace and quiet in here to prepare for my match, I'll go somewhere else where I can. Celebrate my win if you want. I've still got one more fight to get ready for tonight." (He brushes past his brother for the second time in a matter of minutes, and exits the room, leaving a pained pair of onlookers behind. Samantha closes her eyes, and buries her face in her palms.) ST: "Fight hard, Mark. Fight for me..." (She begins to cry softly, leading Darien to walk over and sit beside her, and pat her gently on the shoulder, as the video screen cuts away, back to the broadcast table.) RM: "Mark Haley is taking everything a little too seriously, Hollywood. It's like he's become a character from one of his own movies!" HP: "He's a freaking loon, Manning. Bottom line, end of discussion." RM: "If you say so! Let's head back to the ring!" **DING DING DING** PA: "The next match of DEMENTED QUEST II is the MAIN EVENT of the evening, and is the second of three matches for the DCWL GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, the challenger ... from Grand Rapids, Minnesota ... weighing 248 pounds ... here is DALE 'THE MIRROOOOOOOOR STAAAAAAAAAANWYCZ!!!" (The opening riffs of "Superstar" by Saliva once again blare through the sound system, as the fans rise to their feet! Dale 'The Mirror' Stanwycz emerges from the back in his wrestling gear, minus the Mirror Robe, with a purely focused look upon his face. Stanwycz does a few neck rolls while walking to the ring, before rolling under the bottom rope and rising back to his feet.) RM: "It looks like Stanwycz has a bit of a stiff neck from Tawny Blake's work on it during the first match of the night." HP: "And you know it was Dale's weak neck that allowed her Blake Bomb to keep his ass down for the count too! If Tawny has half a brain in that sexy head of hers, she'll keep working on it!" (Stanwycz continues to stretch his neck, not even bothering to give the fans a "Mirror Stance" pose. Dale bounces off of the ropes a few times; to make sure his body is warmed back up, as the announcer continues his introductions.) PA: "And his opponent ... from Manhattan, New York ... weighing in at 139 pounds ... here is the DCWL Grand Champion ... TAAAAAWNY BLAAAAAAAAKE!!!" (Once again, Christina Aguilera's "Fighter" blasts throughout the arena, as Tawny Blake emerges to another chorus of boos from the fans. She is limping much less than when she left the ring earlier, but is clearly showing favor towards her left leg.) RM: "You know, it was quite a brilliant move for Dale Stanwycz to work on that left leg of Tawny Blake in the first match. It not only slowed her down in that first match, but it's also going to limit her quickness in this match as well!" HP: "Stop trying to kiss ass, dammit! Working on Dale's neck was just as brilliant a move, Manning, and she's one fall richer for it!" (Tawny Blake slowly climbs up the ring steps, each one making her wince from the lingering pain in her leg. The Grand Championship is still at the timekeeper's table, leaving Tawny's waist bare as she steps through the ropes and into the ring. Locking eyes with Stanwycz, it's very clear that both have an even more dedicated focus for this second match.) HP: "Hey, Manning ... you notice anything missing in there?" RM: "Hmmm ... something doesn't seem right, indeed, but I can't put my finger on it." HP: "You stupid monkey humper ... the freaking REFEREE, dammit!" (The video wall has a black background. A red blood circle draws itself and about 2 seconds later a Silver sword slams thru the middle as "Locked and Loaded" by Jackyl kicks in thru the speakers. Matt Cole walks up and starts to head towards the ring, to a HUGE cheer from the fans!) PA: "From Crossroads Mississippi ... Our Special Referee for this match ... MATTTTTT COOOOOOLLLLLEE!" (Cole is dressed in a black T-shirt with the Bloodcircle Motorcycles logo on the front and He looks a lot more cut than the last time DCWL fans had seen him. Cole's once long mane of black hair has been shortened to a more mullet type cut. He is also wearing a faded pair of blue jeans and his knee high marine jump boots. His right hand is in a glove like hand brace. He is half way to the ring as the chorus kicks in.) LOOCCKKKED AND LOADED Primed and ready! LOOOCCKKED AND LOADED Feelin nasty,seein red! LOCKED AND LOADED! LOCKED AND LOADED! LOCKED AND LOADED Aimin` for yer soul! LOCKED AND LOOOAAAADED! (Cole enters the ring and looks around to the fans then thrusts his left fist in the air to their cheers then calls for the microphone.) Cole: "Looks like a few of you missed me." (The crowd cheers for the return of the DCWL'S working class champion. Cole smiles a little then the all business expression returns to his face when he turns to speak to Dale and Tawny in the ring. Tawny sneers at Cole, but Dale smiles. Cole cuts them but off with a cold hard stare.) Cole: "KJ wanted me to come back here... to make sure this match is called right... and I am not going to play favorites. I am going to be fair..." (Both nod and turn to go to their corners but Cole stops them.) Cole: "The is one more thing I want make make clear... it is real simple... you lay a hand on me.." (Cole stares into Dale's then Tawny's eyes..Cole making no attempt to shield his hatred of her, and speaks the last words before the match gets started.) Cole: "I will (Bleep)in kill you." **DING DING DING** Tawny Blake backs away from Matt Cole slowly, and turns back to center ring, ready to square off against Dale Stanwycz again. She quickly glances over her shoulder, again checking on Cole with an untrustworthy peek, before locking up with Stanwycz into a tie-up. Stanwycz quickly applies a side headlock, rolling around into a reverse Armbar, this causes Tawny to immediately move towards the ropes. Matt Cole moves in to call for the rope break, which Stanwycz obeys before backing off, leaving Tawny to look at Cole suspiciously. RM: "The addition of Matt Cole as the guest referee to this match is really throwing Tawny Blake off of her game right now!" HP: "Hell, can you blame her?! Do you even remember what she and Elemental Disturbance did to Cole and Cousin Cletus a few months back?" Locking up once more, Tawny slips behind Stanwycz with ease, dropping down to her knees, tripping up the Mirror, and sending him flat onto his stomach, but as she does so, she grimaces as she jars her injured leg. Ignoring the pain, Blake slides her sleek frame forward, applying another reverse Armbar on Stanwycz, but the once-UWAC champion rolls forward, onto his back, and counters the submission attempt, with a modified headscissors takedown on the way through, sending Blake across the ring and allowing Stanwycz to get to his feet. Tawny uses the momentum of the takedown, to roll out of the ring and gather herself, with is met with a series of boos and jeers from the crowd. HP: "Smart move by the Champ! She's gotta pace herself and let Dale burn himself up trying to get that fall back, so she can put the final nail in his ass! HA!" Blake paces up and down the rear side of the ring, testing out her injured leg as she delays the match. Stanwycz follows her every more from inside the ring, which causes Tawny to yell at Cole, who in turn reluctantly makes Dale move back, so that Tawny can enter the ring. Slowly, the DCWL Grand Champion climbs onto the apron, with her eyes locked on the jittery Stanwycz, before ducking under the top rope, and recomposes herself. Cole releases The Mirror, who isn't happy, about having to back off Blake in the middle of the match. RM: "Matt Cole clearly wants to see this match fought inside the ring, and nowhere else! It's all about the respect for the fight when it comes to Matt Cole!" Suddenly, Dale makes a charge at Tawny, and engages in a collar-and-elbow tie-up, but the nimble vixen slips under the Minnesota-native's arms, and goes behind him, locking on a rear waist lock, before quickly slipping downwards and taking down Stanwycz, with a spear to the small of his back. With Stanwycz on his stomach, Blake locks on a crossface facelock, but Dale uses his strength to pull her arms outwards, and breaks the hold, then locking on a pair of side Bodyscissors. Blake rolls out of the move with the greatest of agility, and flips up to her feet, into a fighting stance, as does Stanwycz, who then quickly grabs Blake’s' arm, and whips her across the ring with an arm drag, but the DCWL Grand Champion rolls through the move, and then floors Stanwycz, with an arm drag of her own. Tawny follows up with a cover and Cole counts: ONE . . . . . TWO . . . . . Stanwycz kicks out of the rather adventurous pin-attempt, and the two kick up to their feet, again in their fighting stances. RM: "It could be easily said that no two wrestlers in DCWL history have been as evenly matched as these two. Tawny has the grace and quickness, while Stanwycz has toughness and technique on his side." Dale Stanwycz shadow boxes on the spot; trying to shake some of the stiffness he has from his last matches, as The First Lady takes a step backwards, into the corner, and stretches out her abdominal muscles, using the ropes as an aide, then checks her knee for the upteenth time. The crowd senses that what they just saw, is only the tip of the technical wrestling-spectacular-iceberg. Cole encourages the two to get back to the match, and they acknowledge with a simple nod. HP: "C'MON! Someone just needs to land a big-ass punch! Let's get it started already!" Tawny, still in her fighting stance, walks slowly towards Stanwycz, who takes a few steps backwards and circles her opponent. Stanwycz then charges at Blake, knocking her down with a Back Elbow, and then heads to the ropes. Returning at a high speed, he swings at now-standing Tawny, with a clothesline, but she ducks under, and Stanwycz rebounds off the opposite ropes. Blake lashes out with a Spinning Back Fist, but this time Stanwycz ducks under the attack, and he quickly locks on a rear waist lock. He lifts up the slender 190lb Blake high into the air, slamming her onto the back of her head and neck, with a Belly-to-Back Suplex; holding on to bridging the Suplex for the cover: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . . KICKOUT! RM: "This is a remarkable match, Hollywood. Only once have we seen these two faced off in a single match, and that was a true spectacle of technical wrestling." HP: "This reminds me of the movie I made back in 91': ‘WrestleWhores XXX’." Both wrestlers scramble to their feet, and Blake then takes a few steps backwards, with her eyes locked onto Stanwycz, showing him she means business. As they have done for much of the match, the two circle each other to survey the best avenue for attack. Tawny Blake makes the first move, lunging and sliding at Dale Stanwycz, with a single leg take down, this time connecting with the DCWL legend, and he hits the mat with a dull clunk. After stomping away at Dale's spine, Blake stands in the back of the Stanwycz’s knees, locking her ankles behind his legs, then grabs both the Stanwycz's arms, pulls back and sits down, bringing Dale upwards so that she can apply a chinlock. Stanwycz flails his arms around, in an attempt to break free of the hold, but to no avail. Blake rocks backwards even further, applying more pressure to the chin and neck of Stanwycz, whose actions are becoming weaker and slower, his face turns a shade of red as the blood supply is slowing, as does Blake's, as she is using all of her might, to make Dale Stanwycz submit. Then, in an act of desperation, Stanwycz flings his arms backwards, and grabs the arms of Blake as uses the last ounce of his strength, to break the hold on his chin and force her arms outwards. RM: "I can't remember a chinlock ever bringing an opponent so close to defeat, Hollywood!" HP: "I did it once ... made six dudes give up in a chinlock way back in the day. Want me to show ya?" RM: "No ... that's quite alright." Stanwycz then lets go and Blake falls backwards onto her back, releasing the lock on Dale's legs and the two lie on the mat exhausted; their chests rising and falling with a rapid pace, as each is trying to breathe in as much air as possible. Blake, with distant look on her face, gets to one knee, and slumps on top of Stanwycz, with a cover: ONE . . . . . . TWO . . . . . . . . . THR-SHOULDER UP Blake rolls off Stanwycz and lies next to him, her chest rising up and down as she gasps for precious air, as she grabs hold of her injured leg, and whinces in pain. Stanwycz slides along the mat and uses the ropes, to pull himself up and onto his feet. HP: "She's got one hell of a fighting spirit, dammit!" RM: "But I'm not sure how long that bad left leg can hold out!" Blake slowly staggers to her fighting stance, and her eyes light up as she sees the exhausted Stanwycz, leaning forward over the ropes, using them to hold himself up. Without wasting time, the two lock up once more, but Stanwycz brings her to the mat, in a whiplash-like effect, with a deep arm-drag, and follows up with fluid Crucifix Armbar, but the nimble Grand Champion bridges her back from the canvas, whilst only using her good-leg in the bridge, and she rolling backwards and out of the hold. Quicky hooking both of Stanwycz's exposed legs, stomping down below Dale's beltline. Dale, and every male in the audience, lets out a collective, sorrowful groan, as Blake stomps down once more with vigor. RM: "Tawny Blake needs to be more cautious with her attacks! Blatant low blows of that sort can be grounds for disqualification!" Having slowed down the pace of the match, Blake begins to methodically stalk Stanwycz, kicking him in the ribs as he crawls to the ropes, which he uses to help himself to his feet. Signs of Tawny's injured legs decrease, as adreniline rushes through her body. Tawny grabs the hair of Stanwycz and whips him to the opposite ropes, and positions herself in the middle of the ring, awaiting his return. Rebounding off the ropes, Dale is picked up by the smaller Blake, and dropped back down on her knee with a Reverse Atomic Drop; Stanwycz bounces from Blake's knee and slumps against the ropes, holding his prized... testicles in his hands, as Tawny parades around the ring, mocking the Mirror by holding her crotch, before stopping, and shaking her injured left leg, in a bid to promote bloodflow to the shin. HP: "Don't rub them Dale, count them!" RM: "I think Tawny Blake will have to rethink her arsenal, Hollywood. It seems everytime she uses her left leg in an attacking move, she's forced to pause and check the injured limb." HP: "Who cares, Manning? She's only got to worry about two things. Her booty and those puppies." Tawny turn to Dale, and smiles at the Mirror who is gritting his teeth and swallowing the pain. Both move in closer and circle around their foe, looking for a brief moment of weakness. Like a bullet, Dale dashes forward, and reaches out with his left hand, but Tawny shoots backwards, and Stanwycz misses the legs of Blake by inches. Sliding back up to his feet, Dale looks up at Blake, and again, she smiles like she's enjoying herself. RM: "Tawny Blake is trying to play mind games with The Mirror!" HP: "Hell yeah, you gotta use every damn tool to your advantage when the Grand Championship is on the line, dammit!" Dale feints forward, but Blake doesn't move; she just continues to smile. They continue to circle each other and suddenly Dale nips forward, taking Blake to the mat with a double leg takedown, and quickly wraps his arms around Blake's neck, locking on a reverse facelock. Blake squirms around, trying to break the hold, but the Mirror has his arms locked tightly. Blake uses her good leg to push herself upwards, bridging her body, and edging towards the ropes. But Dale gets to his feet, and quickly jumps up, locking his legs around the injured leg of Blake creating a vicious leg scissors combination submission! RM: "Brilliant move by Stanwycz! He focused on that leg extensively in the first match, and now it could pay off for him!" Stanwycz wrenches backwards on the neck of Blake, whilst pulling the leg scissored leg of Blake away form her body, trying to force Tawny Blake to submit either way, but Blake uses her ring knowledge, and rolls to her left, causing Dale to roll with him, forcing the two to crash into the nearby ropes. Cole forces Dale to break the lock, allowing Blake to gasp for air under the ropes. Dale rolls away and fluidly gets to his feet, as Blake rises to one knee, and rests against the ropes. Dale shouts at Tawny to get to her feet, but she pauses, buying her time, as she rubs the shin of her rapidly deteriorating leg. Finally, Cole intervenes, forcing Blake to get to her feet. HP: "What the hell is that, Cole?! If the Champ needs a moment to collect herself, you give it to her, dammit! This is a crooked ref if Ol' Panzerotti ever saw one!" Tawny steps forward to tempt Stanwycz and in an instant, Dale shoots at Blake, but the attack is sidestepped, as Tawny lashes out with a brutal shin kick, connecting flush to the side of Dale's chest! Stanwycz rolls with the kick, and falls backwards, whipping Tawny down with a Dragon Whip, sending her into the corner of the ring. Tawny lets out a scream as she holds the shin of her bad leg once more. Sensing this, Dale grabs both ropes, launching himself up, and bounces off the turnbuckle, somersaulting up and over, for the Split-Legged Moonsault! However, Tawny raises one knee at the last second, and Stanwycz lands squarely onto the knee with his exposed stomach! Dale slumps over Tawny, gripping his midsection with discomfort. Blake is still showing the effects of Dale's onslaught, as she slowly rolls over towards Stanwycz’s, and drapes her arm over Dale’s body. Cole falls into position, and counts: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . . . . . . FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE! RM: "I thought it was all over, Hollywood!" HP: "I tell ya, this is Dale's last chance at the big gold ... if he drops two straight falls to Tawny Blake, he ain't getting a rematch in a very long time, dammit!" Cheers echo through the air, as Dale Stanwycz rolls away from Blake, and sluggishly gets to his feet, roughly at the same time Blake does. The two slowly move towards each other, with glazed looks over their eyes, when suddenly Dale lets loose with a right hand, rocking Blake with a massive haymaker, and then following up with another. Blake sways about, as Stanwycz runs and rebounds off the ropes, leaping into the air, knocking the "First Lady" down, with a massive Flying Forearm. RM: "The Mirror is building up some momentum now! He could be trying to put the match away now! He NEEDS to try and put this match away now!" Mounting his smaller foe, Dale begins to punch Blake, in the temple with a series of short, once inch punches, as the "First Lady" squirms about, underneath her larger opponent. Using her agility, Blake kicks upwards with her right leg, and connects flush with the spine of Stanwycz, causing him to wince, and stop punching Blake, and allowing the Grand Champion to strike Dale, square below the belt with an uppercut! Stanwycz slumps to the side, allowing Tawny to shove him off her chest, and they both sluggishly get to their feet, Blake albeit slightly quicker than the now high-pitched Stanwycz. The two lock up, with Blake amazingly winning out, she wenches the arm of Stanwycz, with a text-book Arm Wringer, bringing the man to one knee, allowing her to apply a front Facelock, on the Mirror’s cranium, cutting the air supply. HP: "YES! They're both freaking tired at this point, and a good choke-out kinda move could easy make Stanwycz pass out! Brilliant!" Stanwycz thrashes about, blindly reaching for the ropes, but to no avail as Blake continues to apply the hold. Reaching inwards, Stanwycz scoops up Blake's legs, bringing her to the mat with a Fireman's Carry, and breaking of of the sleeperhold, quickly following up with a Kneebar IV, yet before he can lock the hold in place, Tawny quickly kicks outwards and hits Stanwycz in the stomach, but cannot free herself from the submission attempt. Amazingly, Blakes rises on one leg, hopping about, thne the Grand Champion quickly drops to her knee, and reverses, with a Fireman's Carry of her own, before applying another Arm Wringer on Stanwycz. Frustrated, Stanwycz powers to his feet, and Blake quickly switches the Arm Wringer into a Wristlock, but Stanwycz reverses with a Wristlock of his own, before locking on a Side Headlock, and levers Tawny to the mat with a Takedown. Blake applies a pair of Headscissors on Stanwycz, pinning his shoulders to the mat, but before Cole can count to "one", the Mirror kicks out and jumps to his feet, as does Tawny Blake. Immediately, Blake shoots forward grabbing Stanwycz’s legs, but Dale blocks the attempted Double Leg Takedown, and grabs the smaller Blake by the waist, driving her body into the mat with a high-impact DDT! The move grinding Tawny's cute little face into the canvas, slamming her chin into her chest upon impact. Hooking the leg of Blake, Stanwycz goes for a pin: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . . . . . . Blake kicks out of the pin attempt and kicks up to her feet, but Stanwycz doesn't give her a second to collect her thoughts, or check her injured left leg, as he locks up with Blake, forcing her head downwards, and jumping up with a double knee to the face. With Blake momentarily stunned, Stanwycz quickly ducks behind Blake, applying a rear waist lock, and tossing her high into the air, and into the turnbuckle, with a Release German Suplex! Blake folds up like an accordion upon impact, as Stanwycz hooks her legs: ONE . . . . . TWO . . . . . . . THR- NO! RM: "No, Blake grabbed the ropes with her free hands, breaking up the pin! It was a near-fall, but Tawny's ring awareness saved her!" Both Stanwycz and Tawny Blake are now on their feet, doubled over, trying to regain their breath, as the DCWL Arena crowd cheer their efforts. Stanwycz is the first to move, shuffling over to Tawny Blake, and striking her with a right hand, rocking the Champion backwards, and into the ropes. Stanwycz shuffles backwards, winds up his right arm, and lunges forward with speed, but Blake ducks under and spins around Stanwycz, cracking him in the face with a spinning backfist, and then following up with an Irish Whip into the far corner. Dale collides into the turnbuckles with a sickening thud. RM: "How are they still going at this pace, Hollywood? They've already wrestled well over 25 minutes in the first match, and this match has just passed the 30-minute mark!" HP: "It's the gold, Manning! They both want that shiny gold belt!" Running across the ring, Blake grabs Dale’s neck in a facelock, running up the first rope as she spins him around, before scaling the second rope without braking stride, and spinning Stanwycz once more, but Dale grabs Blake’s top in mid-air, bringing her down to the mat, and breaking the facelock with flailing arms, then quickly kicking Tawny in the gut, doubling over the Grand Champion. Stanwycz leaps into the ropes for a springboard, and then soars backwards at Blake, but the Grand Champion tosses Stanwycz over her head, and amazingly he lands on his feet. Blake spins around, and cracks Dale, with an elbow to the jaw in the process. The Mirror staggers backwards, Tawny ducks down and heaves up Dale, flipping him over with a Northern Lights Suplex, but Stanwycz's legs hit the top ropes and he rebounds back to the mat, countering with a Fisherman's Buster; slamming Blake's head straight into the canvas once more, and hooking her leg for the cover: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . . . . . . THR-NO! KICKOUT! Dale rolls away from the desperate Blake, and gets to one knee, looking across the ring at the oxygen-heaving Blake. He stands up and makes his way over to Blake, pulling her up by the base of her neck and right arm, before spinning her slowly around, then locking on an iverted facelock. Taking a deep breath, Stanwycz hoists up the slight frame of Blake, for a rare suplex: The Xelpus, but Blake wriggle free, and drops to her feet and lands behind Dale. The Mirrors spins around, but is caught with a boot to the mid-section, and Blake grabs Dale’s neck in a facelock, running up the nearby first rope as she spins him around, before scaling the second rope and spinning Stanwycz once more, but Dale grabs Blake mid-air for a second time, and quickly kicking Tawny in the injured shin, doubling over the Grand Champion one more. Stanwycz grabs one of Blake's arms and bends it behind her back, then sticks his head under her free arm, and hooks her injured left leg, before lifting Blake up, staggering backwards from the weight, and falls backwards, dropping Tawny Blake on her back and arm. RM: "Holy Mother Mary. A never seen before, Belly to Belly Hammerlock Cradle Suplex." HP: "I swear, you sit and read Death Valley Driver's Big Book of Wrestling Moves all night, Manning. You're suck a geek." Blake is one her back, in the middle of the ring, and a groggy Dale stands to his feet, as the crowd chant "STAN-WY-CZ!" Stanwycz grabs Balke's injured leg, and bends it sideways behind one of his own own legs, and on top of the Blake's better leg leg, forming a "4" with the her legs. Smiling, Dale holds Blake's straight leg, falls backwards to the mat and secures the her bent leg in place, completing a figure-four leglock! Tawny screams out in pain as her face turn white; Dale rocks backwards, trying to appy more pressure to her legs. RM: "The Mirror had this move locked in for a very long time during the first match, which is likely what put her leg in such bad shape to begin with!" Cole casually walks over to a howling Blake, and bends down, asking Blake if she wishes to submit. "YES! YES!" screams Blake, but Cole cups his ear, pretending he didn't hear her submitive shreaks. "YES! I GIVE UP!" she cried once more, and a satisfied Cole signals for the timekeeper to ring the bell! **DING DING DING** PA: "Here is your winner ... evening the contest at one match apiece ... DALE 'THE MIRROOOOOOOOR' STAAAAAANWYCZ!!!" (Stanwycz releases the lock, rolls away from Blake, and continues to rolls out of the ring. As the crowd chant "STAN-WY-CZ!" Dale pumps the air in delight, before scrambling up the ramp, and disappering behind the curtain.) RM: "Wow, Dale is wasting no time; he's off to his dressing room to recover as much energy as he can." HP: "I wouldn't blame him. The decider is going to be one hell of a match. But, for now, what the hell is Matt Cole doing?" (As Blake awkwardly makes her way to her feet, holding her severly injured left leg, as Cole stalks her from behind; perched down low, ready to strike at any moment. As Blake finally stands up straight, Cole swoops; ducking his head down, between Blakes legs, picking up the 190lb lightweight with ease, and hoisting her onto his broad shoulders. As Tawny waves her arms about, pleading for mercy, Cole moves toward the corner of the ring.) RM: "Here's Cole's new finisher. I think it's called the 'One Percenter'." (Cole ducks his head down, throwing Blake's body forward, from high above his shoulders, and straight down onto the turnbuckle; Blake's face rebounds off the pad and she slumps down onto the canvas, looking more like a car-crash victim than a wrestler. Cole, with a look of content across his face, dusts off his hands, before waving to the crowd, and getting a huge ovation.) HP: "Actually, that's called 'payback', Manning." RM: "At least Cole had the decency to wait until the match was over to extract it." (Cole leaves the ring, as the camera zooms in on Tawny Blake; blood trickles from her forehead and a glazed look in her eyes shows that she's got a fight on her hands.) RM: "Folks, I understand we've got something going on backstage, so let's send our cameras back there right now!" (Mistress Dandelion is in a rage. Chairs are strewn about, vases are broken, food trays are turned over. Naja Takemara is standing in a corner holding a towel to his face to staunch the bleeding from a split lip.) MD: "God dammit, Naja! Do you not understand that I have plans! Do you not understand that if you screw up a simple plan, you throw the rest of my plans out of whack? All I asked you to do was to put Haplo away! Crush him! Finish him! This was hardcore rules! You could have driven a truck over him, then pushed his carcass through a damn table!" NAJA: "Look, Princess--you weren't a whole lot of help on this whole fiasco! I told you that I don't do hardcore!" MD: "Well, you had better flippin' learn, Buster!" NAJA: "I don't take orders from you, Agatha!" MD: "How dare you use my given name!" NAJA: "I'll use whatever I damn well please! Do you think I like losing? Do you think I liked having that Greek greasemonkey put me through THREE frickin' tables? Do you think that was in some little plan of mine? Hell no! Naja is the pinnacle of perfection! Naja is the Master of Submissions!" MD: "Naja is a braying ass! Do you know how stupid you sound speaking in the third person?" NAJA: "As stupid as a whiny little bray bitching over a loss that she could have helped with!" (Mistress Dandelion whirls around, grabbing Naja by the shoulders and slamming him back up against the wall. She brings her face into his, lip curling in a violent snarl.) MD: "This is not over, Naja. He is not out of the building and you're still walking. I want you to go mess him up." NAJA: "What?" MD: "You heard me! Some of my plans might still be salvageable. Go mess him up. Fix him!" NAJA: "You've gone mental." MD: "Either you fix him, or I will. And I would hope that your 'pinnacle of perfection' bullshit isn't just talk. Have some god damned pride in yourself and fight fire with fire for once in your life. Stop flapping your lips and do something!" (Mistress Dandelion shoves Naja once more and storms out of the room. Naja tugs on a pair of jeans and a silk shirt and walks out of his dressing room. In the hallway, hanging near some tools, he spies a crowbar. A sly smile creeps over his face. Camera cuts back to the broadcast table.) RM: "Mistress Dandelion has lost it! She didn't get to see how easily Haplo manhandled Naja Takemara inside the ring earlier tonight!" HP: "BAH! Naja is the smartest wrestler in the whole damn fed, Manning! He can accomplish anything that Dandelion sets his mind on!" RM: "Folks, up next is a match that the entire world has been waiting for ... so let's not wait any longer!" **DING DING DING** PA: "The following contest is an I QUIT MATCH! Our referee is equipped with a body microphone for this match, so that there is no doubt when one wrestler utters the words 'I QUIT'! In this match, there are NO COUNTOUTS, NO DISQUALIFICATION, and NO TIME LIMIT!" (The crowd is wildly cheering the no-holds-barred stipulations, when a slow methodical drum beat begins to fill the arena. Those cheers quickly change to boos, as the announcer continues to speak.) PA: "Introducing first ... hailing from The Gallows ... standing 6-feet-8-inches tall ... and weighing 310 pounds ... here is JACK KEEEEEEEETCH!!!" (Jack Ketch slowly passes through the curtain and stops at the top of the stage. This is a massive man who seems completely oblivious to the crowd.) RM: "It was less than an hour ago that Jack Ketch completely desimated Jess Bollinger inside the ring, to a loud cheer from these same fans that are already back to jeering him!" HP: "Ol' Panzerotti has always said how damn fickle the humanoids are, but those earlier cheers, Manning, had a hell of a lot more to do with respecting the legacy of The Capitol, more than supporting Jack Ketch." (Jack is wearing black leather pants and boots with a black lycra sleeveless muscle shirt. Hie massive arms are marked with a pair of tattoos. On his left arm is a phoenix wrapped in fire with 3 chinese symbols in a triangle around it. On is right arm is the yin/yang symbol surrounded by 6 other chinese symbols.) HP: "This is the moment Ol' Panzerotti has been waiting for, Manning. The two meanest and toughest sons of bitches in the damn sport, beating the hell out of each other." RM: "I hope the DCWL has paid for additional satellite time, because with the I Quit rules, this match could be going for a very long time!" (The drum beats continue as Ketch makes his way to ring side. As he steps into the ring the beat quickens to a roll. The drumroll stops abruptly as Ketch removes his black hood. Underneath is a black mask with a hole in the back to reveal a short black ponytail. The eyes of the mask are black reflective lenses. Ketch moves to the corner and waits with a frightening sense of peace.) PA: "And his opponent..." **! BLAAAAAAAM !** [The crunching riff’s of Ozzy Osbourne’s “Gets Me Through” grind out of the speakers, as the fans in the Fleet Center all rise to their feet in a collective erupting cheer!] PA: "... hailing from London, England ... standing at 6-feet-7-inches ... and weighing 475 pounds ... here is BEEEEEEEEDROOOOOOCK!!!" [The cheers continue to shake all of Boston, as Bedrock strides out onto the stage, forsaking his trademark roar for a loose-armed image of a man too exhausted to even lift his own head. The crowd respose does nothing to lift the big man's physical energy, as he paces to the ring slowly, like a man headed to his own funeral.] RM: "Hollywood, I don't even recognize this Bedrock ... it seems like even the last love he has remaining - the love for blood and carnage - has left his heart along with everything else." HP: "Well, if he values his damn hide, he'll get his ass in a different frame of mind, and in a damn hurry!" [Despite his sullen state of mind, Bedrock's frame still looks as though he has been hewn from a mountain of granite. Titanic shoulders and a bull-neck give him the appearance of a giant bulldog while his torso is powerful and thick. The slabs of muscle on his mighty body are not shapeless but actually well defined and rippled. This massive physique is mounted on legs that would befit a rhinoceros and his hands are broad and callused. Thick, deep scars run the breadth of his back as though he had been flogged with a bullwhip and all over his body are the signs of many lacerations and injuries including a surgical scar from a shoulder reconstruction. Atop his thick, powerfully muscled neck sits a most horrible cranium. Brutal, ugly scars are strewn across his shaven head with thick arteries bulging at his temples and his face speaks of a vast capacity for cruelty and a long history of violence. His irises are blood red and his incisors are pointed within a heavy jaw. Bushy, black eyebrows and a thick, black beard flecked with grey define a face weathered and creased by a long life of hardship.] HP: "Dammit, if we could see Ketch's face right now, I bet his ass would be laughing like a bowl full of freaking jelly!" RM: "Santa Ketch ... now there's an image no child wants to have dancing in their heads along with the sugarplumbs!" [Bedrock climbs the ring steps slowly, and steps through the ropes into the ring. The referee moves in to check on Bedrock, as the original Man Mountain Rock lifts his head, and finally locks eyes with Jack Ketch for the first time since their battle in Hawaii, when Ketch abducted Wendy, his estranged wife.] RM: "Bedrock can't possibly compete with Jack Ketch in this mental condition, and ... wait a second ... look at the eyes of Bedrock!" [The defeated look has faded, as Bedrock's bushy eyebrows have begun to furrow with a hatred of atomic proportions. His shoulders begin to raise like those of a charging bull, and his fists clench into a pair of fleshly anvils. The referee steps back in fear, and then calls for the bell!] **DING DING DING** Ketch is unphased by Bedrock's growing intensity, and begins to move towards center ring. Bedrock's chin dips to his inflated chest, his eyes peering up at Ketch with sleepless, bloodshot eyes. Ketch brings his gloved hands together, ringing them with a daring intensity, before taking another step towards Bedrock. Suddenly, Bedrock is out of the corner like a rocket, as he spears Ketch to the canvas without a running start, catching Ketch by surprise! Bedrock mounts his foe, knees to shoulders, and begins assaulting Ketch with a flurry of fists, one after another smashes into Ketch's face, as the masked gladiator is pinned to the canvas! RM: "Bedrock's attitude has definitely changed now! All it took was a look into the heartless eyes of Jack Ketch!" HP: "Ketch is giving up over 150 freaking pounds to Bedrock, and with that much extra weight pinning his shoulders down, Ketch is just gonna have to wait until Bedrock tires to pulverizing his damn face!" But Bedrock shows no signs of tiring, as his punches continue to swell in their intensity of impact, right after left crushing various points of Ketch's skull! Ketch attempts to lift his knees to fight off Bedrock, but the head trama has already taken place, and his legs limply fall back to the canvas, while Bedrock's punches continue to multiple dozens. Lifting his right arm high into the air, it plummets into the side of Ketch's face for one final punch, before Bedrock finally relents, and rises off of the motionless body of Jack Ketch. HP: "Holy crap! It might already be over, Manning! Ketch is in another world from that freaking assault, and Bedrock is fresh as a daisy, dammit!" The referee leans down to check on Ketch, lifting the right arm of the masked beast, which limply falls back to the canvas again. REF: "Ketch, whaddya say? Do you want to quit?" KETCH: "... *gasp* ... *gasp* ..." Shrugging his shoulders quizzically, he rises up from Ketch's body, and shakes his head at the timekeeper, who already has his hand on the bell hammer. RM: "If Jack Ketch is unconscious, he can't say I Quit! This match will continue at least until Ketch has regained his senses enough to speak those words to the referee!" Bedrock is examining his right knuckles, which are raw and bloodied from the repeated punches, but quickly shakes off the discomfort, and moves in again on Ketch. The referee tries to step in Bedrock's path to explain, but Bedrock shoves him aside, before dipping down to grasp the masked head of Ketch. Suddenly, a cross-wristed double chop thrusts upwards, stabbing Bedrock in both sides of the throat, causing him to cough violently, and stagger backwards! HP: "Was he playing freaking possom?! Not after that many damn punches, dammit! It's gotta be desperation!" Jack Ketch slowly rolls towards the ropes, using them to pull himself up to his feet, in a clearly unsteady vertical position. Bedrock moves in again on Ketch, but the masked man greets him with a wild right fist! Bedrock takes the blow in stride, and strikes back with one of his own, sending Ketch falling back-first into the corner. Bedrock moves in to follow up, but Ketch lashes out with a kick to the gut, that only serves to slow Bedrock down, as the 475-pound giant grabs either side of Ketch's mask, and smashes his cranium towards it with a massive headbutt! The impact sends Ketch crashing back into the corner, and falling to his posterior on the mat. RM: "Jack Ketch is trying his best to fight back in this match, but Bedrock's opening assault clearly has left him in a shaken state, as Ketch's offense is barely registering with the larger grappler." HP: "In this kinda match, Manning, you can't call either of these dudes a grappler ... fighters, ass-kickers, assassins even ... but there ain't gonna be any grappling in this one, dammit!" With Ketch slumped against the turnbuckle, Bedrock takes a few steps backwards, and charges back in at full steam, nailing Ketch's masked head with a field goal kick, the force of which rocks Ketch's body, sending it through the bottom and second ropes, and down to the concrete floor below! Bedrock turns out to the crowd, bellowing loudly with an animalistic roar, that sends the fans into a wild frenzy of cheers! RM: "At On Location, the fight between Jack Ketch and Bedrock was an absolute stalemate, but this one has been completely one sided so far!" Ketch is laying crumpled on the concrete floor, in a near-fetal position, as Bedrock climbs through the ropes, and drops down to the concrete perpendicular to Ketch. Bedrock moves in on his prey once again, reaching down to grab hold of Ketch's ponytail, when suddenly... *! WHOOOSH !* ... a flash of fire flares from Ketch's hands, directly into Bedrock's face! HP: "FIREBALL! YES! KETCH JUST UNLEASHED A DAMN FIREBALL!" The fireball meets its target perfectly, as Bedrock's bushy facial hair begins smoking from the impact! The London giant staggers backwards, temporarily blinded, taking wild swings into the air, before falling backwards into the guard rail, and smashing the back of his head against it! Jack Ketch slowly crawls away from where Bedrock is, pausing to pull up the bottom of his black mask, and spit out a large deposit of blood onto the floor. Ketch immediately replaces the mask, and groggily clings to the outer turnbuckle, struggling to pull himself up to his feet. RM: "Jack Ketch has bought himself a much-needed rest break with that fireball, but as evidenced by the spitting of blood, Ketch may already be suffering from internal injuries!" The referee moves in towards Bedrock, checking on his facial burns, before dropping to one knee and speaking. REF: "Bedrock, do you want to call it quits?" Bedrock does not verbally respond to the question, instead lashing out with his massive fists, latching onto the shirt of the referee, and tossing him out of the way, which sends the referee crashing into the steel ring post, knocking him completely unconscious! HP: "No disqualifications, dammit! HA! Manning, you could monkey hump that referee right now, and he wouldn't be able to do a damn thing about it!" The eyes of Bedrock slender with an inner rage, as he returns to a vertical base, with his gaze fixed on Jack Ketch, who is on his feet with the help of the ring apron. As Bedrock approaches, Ketch makes a desperate dash towards him, lifting his leg for a big boot on Bedrock, only to have it caught by the paws of the Londoner! However, Ketch suddenly leaps into the air, and counters with a back brain kick! The impact drops Bedrock to his hands and knees, where Ketch clutches his hands together, and delivers a double-ax handle smash to the back of the head, followed by a second and third, finally sending Bedrock face-down on the concrete. RM: "Jack Ketch had to stray from brawling to turn the tide of this match, showing off his agility with that spinning kick to Bedrock's head!" Ketch moves onto the back of Bedrock, and reaches under his chin for a camel clutch, instead pulling on Bedrock's shaggy beard, making his weathered face krinkle from the pain. Ketch waits for the referee to ask Bedrock for an I Quit, but is nowhere to be found! Ketch grows impatient, and proceeds to slam Bedrock's face into the concrete, before rising up and seeking out the official. HP: "DAMN! I don't think anyone else would even DARE yank on Bedrock's beard like that ... but there sure as hell ain't anyone else like Jack Ketch! Hell, any other man would still be laying for dead after Bedrock's punching bag act!" Ketch finds the referee laying on the concrete, groggily struggling with his arms to move. Ketch reaches down and yanks the ref to his feet by his shirt, pulling him up to face-to-face level, with the ref's legs dangling above the concrete. The semi-conscious ref tries to explain Bedrock's attack on him, but Ketch doesn't let him finish, before tossing him overhead with ease, making the referee's body land awkwardly on the guard rail, and then crumple into a pile on the concrete floor. RM: "Our referee is taking a beating like no official before! We may need a replacement referee out there, Hollywood!" HP: "Lord knows we got a damn stack of referees hanging around tonight, dammit!" Ketch looks down at the referee for a moment, and then turns back towards Bedrock, to find the big man charging with a fist cocked for destruction! Ketch ducks the fist at the last second, and quickly counters with one of his own, nailing Bedrock in the side of his head. Bedrock absorbs the blow, and wildly swings around at his masked opponent, which Ketch ducks under again, countering with a waistlock, before using his might to lift Bedrock up, and slam him spine-first into the steel ringpost! RM: "What a feat of strength! After all the punishment he's taken in this match, Jack Ketch has turned it completely around, and is now dominating Bedrock!" As Bedrock winces from the pain of impact, Ketch begins pummelling him with a flurry of punches to the face, each making Bedrock's head slam back into the post! Bedrock's legs begin to get rubbery, as his massive body begins to slump to the concrete floor! HP: "It's a complete freaking role reversal, dammit! Now it's Ketch with the non-stop punches, and Bedrock looks like he's heading into Teletubby land! Dammit, I hate that baby sun thing." The referee is still down and out, as Ketch moves from punches to kicks, stomping at the chest of Bedrock, who is succumbing to the power of Ketch's assault. With Bedrock down and seemingly immobile, Ketch steps back and brings his hands together, looking to set up another fireball attack, when the crowd suddenly explodes, as Matt Cole makes his way down the aisle, still dressed in his referee attire from the previous match! RM: "It looks like Matt Cole is going to take over as the referee of this match, Hollywood! What a turn of events!" HP: "This ain't one bit fair, dammit! We've already seem that Cole is out for revenge against Elemental Disturbance, and he's all buddy buddy with Bedrock! It's a freaking set-up!" Ketch turns to see Cole approaching, and releases his hands from the fireball position, tilting his head at the sight of Cole. The crowd is wildly cheering, when Cole suddenly stops in his tracks, looks down at his shirt, before shaking his head with defiance, and yanking the striped shirt from his torso, tossing it into the crowd, to another loud pop! HP: "DAMMIT! He ain't here to referee at all! Cole wants to fight Ketch right now in the middle of his freaking match against Bedrock!" RM: "It's Matt Cole's first night back in the DCWL following his brutal injury at the hands of Elemental Disturbance, and now that his officiating obligations have been fulfilled, he's moved on to his own agenda!" Ketch understands the gesture completely, and moves in to take Cole's challenge! Cole charges in towards Ketch, attacking with his untaped left hand, delivering a series of punches and chops, which appear to have no effect on Ketch! Ketch reaches up to strike Cole, when Cole suddenly dashes his head forwards, nailing Ketch square in the nose with a headbutt! The blow sends Ketch staggering backwards, as he clutches his face, clearly showing the effects of Bedrock's initial attack to the area! RM: "There's no telling what kind of damage Jack Ketch has sustained under that mask, Hollywood! He could be fighting with a number of broken bones at this point!" HP: "Dammit, Cole needs to be arrested for assault! He doesn't belong out here, no matter what Ketch did to him and his country hick bed buddy!" RM: "You know, Hollywood, I'm quite sure that KrackerJak brought Cole back as a referee tonight knowing full well what he'd be looking for revenge! We all know about KrackerJak's history with Jack Ketch!" Ketch's fists clench together, trembling with rage, as he moves towards the timekeeper's table, scooping up a folded steel chair into his hands! Cole braces himself for attack, as the enraged Bedrock raises the chair above his head, only to have it snatched away from behind by Bedrock! A smile crosses onto Cole's face, as Bedrock stabs the blunt end of the chair forwards, smashing it directly into Ketch's throat! a muffled gasping sound is heard underneath the mask, as Ketch falls to his knees, clutching his throat! HP: "SON OF A BITCH! This match is turning into a two-on-one fight! I can't believe that Bedrock would ever need the help of another ass to get the better of Jack Ketch, dammit!" Matt Cole moves in to join in on the attack, but Bedrock looks up at him, and tosses the chair at Cole's feet, before pointing to the backstage area, making his orders clear with a glace from his bloodshot eyes. Cole is clearly frustrated at having his revenge stifled, but understands Bedrock's own need for a fair fight, and begins backing away from ringside. RM: "Bedrock is rejecting Matt Cole's help in this match! He doesn't want any doubts about who the better man is, Hollywood!" HP: "It's too freaking late for that, dammit! Ketch would have already finished off Bedrock if it hadn't been for Cole's damn interruption!" Bedrock turns his attention back to Ketch, yanking him up to his feet, and then slamming his head towards the edge of the ring apron. However, Ketch throws his hands out to block the attempt, and then counters with an elbow to Bedrock's midsection. The elbow seems to have no effect, as Bedrock strikes right back with a roundhouse punch, smashing Ketch across his masked cheek, which sends Ketch back to his knees, again showing the damage to his facial area. Ketch does not stay down, however, as he lashes out with an uppercutting low blow! The wind can be heard leaving Bedrock's lungs, as he staggers backwards, leaning against the ringpost. Ketch charges in for a shoulder tackle on Bedrock, but the Londonder sidesteps, and Ketch smashes his right shoulder into the steel post! RM: "The pace of the action is starting to pick up now!" HP: "It don't matter, dammit! The whole fight has been tainted by Matt Cole's ass-head interference!" RM: "One of these men still has to say those magic words, Hollywood ... I QUIT! Matt Cole's brief appearance can't possibly be the difference-maker with that stipulation!" Bedrock moves in on Ketch, delivering a series of powerful forearm smashes, all landing on or around the shoulder of the masked giant. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, the referee finally begins to stir, and the fans give him a cheering boost to get back into the match! Bedrock tosses Ketch back into the ring, and re-enters as well, while the referee slowly pulls himself up. Bedrock delivers a heavy stomp to the shoulder of Ketch, making Ketch writhe on the canvas from the pain. RM: "It looks like Bedrock is starting to target that shoulder Ketch slammed into the ringpost moments ago!" Bedrock grabs hold of Ketch's weakened arm, twisting it into an arm wringer, and then dropping a 475-pound elbow into the shoulder! Bedrock holds the position, locking onto the elbow of Ketch's arm, and pulling up into a Wakaigatame armbar submission! The still-groggy referee sees the submission in the ring, and slowly rolls back inside, crawling over towards the wrestlers. HP: "It can't be! Ol' Panzerotti isn't seeing the fight of the century turning into a damn submission match, is he?!" RM: "I think so, Hollywood! Bedrock is trying to make Jack Ketch say I Quit in the middle of the ring!" The referee checks his body microphone, and then approaches Ketch, asking him that ever-important question: REF: "Whaddya say, Ketch? You want to call it quits?" Ketch doesn't respond to the referee's question, instead trying to push up with his free hand, in an attempt to power out and alleviate his pain. Bedrock is allowing no slack in his armbar submission, bridging up with his massive legs to intensify the hold, quickly stifling the comeback attempt by Ketch! RM: "Jack Ketch is trapped in the middle of the ring in that armbar, Hollywood! He may have no choice but to say I Quit, just like his stablemate Tawny Blake did in the previous match!" Ketch is slamming his fist into the canvas, trying to deal with the pain of Bedrock's painful submission, as the referee moves back in, asking again: REF: "You can end it right now, Ketch. Just say the words I Quit!" Again, Ketch has no response to the referee, but instead reaches up with his free hand, desperately grasping at the black mohawked hair of Bedrock, and yanking for all he's worth! Still, Bedrock shows no signs of releasing the hold, as he grunts through the pain of his pulled hair. Ketch makes one final swing of his arm out of Bedrock's hair, and manages to reach Bedrock with an eye poke! Finally, Bedrock releases the hold, as the stinging pain to his eye causes a knee-jerk reaction. HP: "YEAH! Ketch is out of that damn hold! Now get back to the PLUNDAH, baby! HA HAAAA!!!" Ketch rolls away to a far corner, clutching his damaged right arm. Bedrock rolls out of the ring, and quickly retrieves the steel chair he used earlier! Ketch uses his left arm to pull himself up, as Bedrock re-enters the ring with the chair. Ketch shows no fear of Bedrock, moving in towards the London monster again, only to receive a chairshot to the face! Ketch falls to the canvas quickly, and Bedrock acts just as quickly, opening the folding chair slightly, and setting it up around the right arm of Ketch! RM: "I think Bedrock is going to try and break the arm of Jack Ketch right now! Jack Ketch may have no choice but to say I Quit with a broken arm!" Bedrock looks around at his surroundings, before his eyes lock on the nearest top turnbuckle. Marching his massive frame towards the corner, Bedrock steps out between the ropes, and begins a labored ascent of the corner! HP: "HOLY CRAP! When Bedrock goes to that top rope, it's for one thing only ..." RM: "... THE EARTHSHAKER! If he hits that top rope splash onto Jack Ketch's chair-pinned arm, it's going to snap like a twig!" Ketch is still prone on the canvas, the referee has taken cover in the opposite corner, as Bedrock reaches the top rope. Letting loose a roaring war cry, Bedrock leaps from the top rope . . . . . AND KETCH ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! *! CRRRAAAAAAASH !* Bedrock's body collides with the canvas, and the impact sends his body bouncing back upwards, before settling back down in a devastated heap! RM: "KETCH LIVES! And Bedrock is in serious trouble now!" Jack Ketch slowly rises up from the canvas, holding the steel chair in his hands. The crowd is stunned into silence, as Bedrock is clutching his ribs in agony. Ketch's chest is heaving from near-exhaution, as he stalks towards Bedrock, raising the steel chair over his head, and... *! THWACK !* ... smashes it down upon Bedrock's upper back! The huge Londoner is flattened to the canvas, as Ketch raises the chair again, and... *! THWACK !* ... brings the chair down on Bedrock's left shoulder, causing him to emit a loud grunt from the impact. Again, Ketch raises the steel chair, and... *! THWACK !* ... slams it down upon Bedrock's right shoulder, leaving Bedrock writing on the canvas. HP: "YES! GIVE ME THE PLUNDAAAAAAAH!!!" RM: "We could be witnessing the beginning of the end of Bedrock, folks! It may not take much more to make this fallen monster of a man say I Quit!" Jack Ketch tosses down the chair, and slowly lifts his masked head upwards, before lifting an arm and pointing towards the ceiling. Ketch then drops his rear down on Bedrock's back, and grabs hold of either arm, before pulling the arms of Bedrock together, and then crossing them in the wrong direction! RM: "Wait just a second, Hollywood ... this isn't just another means for Jack Ketch to torture Bedrock ... he's applying CAPITOL PUNISHMENT!" HP: "Holy crap, you're right! Ketch is giving us an homage to The Capitol right here in the middle of the damn ring!" Ketch continues to pull the arms in opposite directions, as Bedrock's bearded mouth is gaping open, loudly groaning from the immense pain of the hold! The referee gets down in front of Bedrock's face, and poses the miked question to him... REF: "Bedrock, do you want to quit?" BEDROCK: "FOOK YOOOOOOOOU! AHHHHHHHHH!" The pain of Capitol Punishment is clearly extreme, as Ketch continues to apply the submission hold, arching his own back to increase the pain intensity. Tears of agony are welling up in Bedrock's eyes, as he is in a helpless position in center ring. HP: "Bedrock is gonna quit, dammit! You can see it in his weak-ass eyes! He's a beaten man!" Bedrock is gasping for air to fight off the pain, taking short breaths into his constricted chest, with his eyes becoming heavy and weary. The referee again moves in and asks... REF: "Do you want to say I Quit, Bedrock?" BEDROCK: "Ugh ... *gasp* ... 'Ah ... 'Ah ..." Suddenly, Jack Ketch releases the hold, keeping Bedrock from responding to the referee! Bedrock's body crumbles to the canvas, as Ketch wrings his palms together, obviously wanting to finish Bedrock for good. RM: "I think Bedrock was read to say I Quit, but Jack Ketch released the Capitol Punishment submission hold before the words left his mouth!" Ketch exits to the concrete floor, lifting up the ring apron to peer underneath, before emerging with a small canister, marked with the label "XXX GASOLINE"! Ketch re-enters the ring, and begins pouring the gasoline over the nearest turnbuckle. After a few moments, he tosses the can away, and turns back to Bedrock, who is still in a fleshly heap on the canvas. HP: "Dammit, I think I know what Ketch has in mind, and it ain't gonna be pretty!" Ketch returns to Bedrock's body, straining to muscle up the larger man, and then shoving him into the gas-soaked corner. The crowd is on its feet with nervous anticipation, as Jack Ketch takes a few steps backwards, and begins pulling his hands together, in preparation for another fireball throw! RM: "NO! With the corner soaked in gasoline, a fireball right now would be deadly! Someone needs to stop this NOW!" Ketch pulls his arms back for the throw, and then thrusts them outwards violently, as the third fireball of the match leaves his hands! *!!! WHOOOOOOOSH !!!* The corner of the ring erupts into flaming brightness, but when the initial explosion clears, Bedrock is no longer in the corner! Ketch looks slightly confused, when Bedrock suddenly comes from behind, catching Ketch in a cobra clutch! RM: "Bedrock escaped another fireball! And now he has Jack Ketch in that classic submission hold!" Bedrock easily muscles the startled Ketch forwards, and while firmly holding the cobra clutch, smashes Ketch's face into the flaming turnbuckle! However, Bedrock holds Ketch's masked head in the flame, as a muffled scream is heard within! HP: "Ketch is caught in his own damn firey trap!" Bedrock yanks Ketch's head out from the flames, revealing a steaming mask, still trapped in the cobra clutch. Suddenly, Bedrock slams Ketch forwards again, driving his face into buckle again, and again holding the position, as the fire engulfs the head of Jack Ketch! RM: "Bedrock wants to burn Jack Ketch alive!" After a few moments of extended screaming from Ketch, Bedrock pulls up Ketch again, and the lycra lenses of the mask have begun to melt! Still in the cobra clutch of Bedrock, Ketch is approached by the referee... REF: "Jack Ketch, do you want to quit?" KETCH: "UUUUGH! AHHHHHHHH! N...AHHHHhhh..." Before Ketch can even finish responding, Bedrock drives his face back into the flaming buckle, to which Ketch's arms begin flailing, as the referee cautiously moves in, while Bedrock still holds Ketch into the flames! REF: "Ketch, just say the w..." KETCH: "ARRRRGH! I QUIT! I QUIT!!!" The crowd absolutely explodes into frantic cheers, as Bedrock yanks Ketch out of the corner, and throws him down in the middle of the ring, while the referee calls for the bell! **DING DING DING** PA: "Here is your winner ... BEEEEEEDROOOOOOOOOOOOCK!!!" (As the bell rings, a ring maintenance team rushes to ringside to cope with the turnbuckle fire, to keep it from spreading throughout the ring. The referee raises Bedrock's arm, as Ketch is down on the canvas, clawing at the steaming mask that is clearly continuing to burn the face beneath!) RM: "What a dramatic victory for Bedrock! Jack Ketch is left on the canvas, soundly defeated!" HP: "But Manning, Ol' Panzerotti can't help but think that Bedrock has been changed forever by Jack Ketch. It's pretty damn clear that he's lost his family, and no amount of revenge is gonna change that fact." (Bedrock is finally allowing the impact of the whole match settle in, as he leans against a non-flaming corner to rest his aching body. He looks down at the canvas, realizing that Jack Ketch is pulling off parts of his mask to ease the burning pain. The crowd is also paying attention, and the masses rise to their feet, as the flesh underneath the mask of Jack Ketch is being revealed!) HP: "Wait a damn second, Manning! Ketch is taking off the freaking mask! He not only just spoke his first damn words in DCWL history, but now he's unmasking too, dammit!" RM: "We are witnessing DCWL history in the making, folks!" (Ketch is crawling over to the far corner, peeling away the last bits of his mask, as an attendant hands him a wet cloth to comfort his facial skin. Bedrock continues to look on from the opposite corner, as Ketch's shoulders fall in a sudden sigh of relief. Holding the cloth to his face, Jack Ketch slowly rises to his feet, while the fans are all on their feet, but in complete silence. Suddenly, the hands gripping the wet cloth to his face begin to tighten and clench with furious trembling. Jack Ketch suddenly turns towards Bedrock, and whips the cloth to the canvas...) HP: "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" RM: "It can't be, Hollywood! It just can't be!" HP: "The real freaking man behind Jack Ketch is... . . . . . . . . NOAH FUCKING PREJUDICE!!!" (The crowd collectively gasps in horror, as Noah Prejudice glares at Bedrock with deeply hateful eyes. Dried blood is all around and below his nose, along with several red welts on his face. The skin underneath his eyes is singed in the shape of the mask's lenses, clearly from the burning turnbuckle. Bedrock looks on at Noah Prejudice in complete disbelief, although the dark cloud of irony hanging over his head seems to be settling into his brain.) RM: "I don't even know what to say, folks ... too many questions are popping to mind, and I have no clue which one to ask first." (Prejudice takes a labored step towards Bedrock, and the giant Londoner braces himself for another fight. However, Noah begins shaking his head, his frowning mouth filled with many words that cannot yet be spoken. Prejudice backs away from Ketch, before staggering out of the squared circle, walking backwards up the aisle, while mouthing the words "IT'S NOT OVER" in Bedrock's direction. Noah Prejudice finally turns and disappears into the backstage area, leaving the crowd shocked into complete silence. Bedrock's eyes are blinking in disbelief, as he stands stunned inside the ring.) HP: "DAMMIT! Noah Prejudice is Jack freaking Ketch! How the hell did he keep a secret for so damn long?!" RM: "We could ask these questions all night long, Hollywood, but we'll have no satisfying answers until we can get an interview with Noah Prejudice ... and I'm not sure that's going to happen tonight. We'll try to track him down, but after this brutal match, neither Prejudice or Bedrock may be willing to speak publically." (Suddenly, the camera cuts to the backstage area, where the blonde-haired, skinny, geekish form of DCWL backstage correspondant Kenny Peterson stands with a mic with in his hand. The DCWL jacket he is wearing looks to be a couple sizes too big and he shifts uneasily as some of the other road crew mills around backstage.) KP: "Mr. Manning, what a great match we just witnessed! I am now back here looking at the great effort being put on by our great road crew..." (He motions behind him at the ring workers having a coffee break. The crew doesn't look pleased being interrupted. A few seconds later Matt Cole, dressed in his street clothes, walks by the crew, knocking knuckles with one of the biker-friendly workers. Peterson moves quickly to intercept the returning star.) KP: "MATT!!! WAIT UP!!!!" (Cole turns to face Peterson. Kenny looks a little uneasy. His voice cracks a little as he engages Cole.) KP: "Kenny Peterson, new backstage correspondant with the DCWL! A lot of fans are shocked to see you return to the DCWL...where have to been for the last few months?" *Cole stares at this geek...and drops his saddlebags.* Cole: "Nosey little bastard aren't ya?" KP: "The fans would like to know." *Cole pauses and composes himself slightly.* Cole: "I have been around." KP: "That isn't an answer." *Cole begins to sneer at Peterson..Peterson backs down. Cole takes the mic out of Peterson's hands.* Cole: "You know... people have been shoving these things in my face for years..let's see how you like it." *Cole starts to interview Peterson.* Cole: "So when is the last time you kissed a girl?" *Peterson stammers for an answer.* Cole: "Ok...A man?" *Peterson looks real uncomfortable at that question.* Cole: "How in the (bleep) you get this job?" *Peterson starts to answer but Cole cuts him off.* Cole: "Do you know asking me dumb ass questions are the quickest way to get an asswhippin round here?" *Peterson look like he is going to pass out..Cole hands the mic back to him.* KP: "Misterrr Coolle?" *Peterson is shaking as he tries to ask Cole a question. Cole calmly replies.* Cole: "Yea?" KP: "W-Why are y-you b-back?" *Peterson holds the mic up to Cole and looks away, praying not get hit. Cole pauses then answers.* Cole: "I have unfinished biz." *Cole pauses but continues.* Cole: "I am not going to talk about what happened in the past...but alot has been took from me.." *Cole looks down at his braced right hand then up, as to heaven.* Cole: "I have got soft..I lost what made me who I am. I had to change..and not be tied down by my past. That is what I did." *Cole looks at Peterson cringing. Cole continues.* Cole: "Payment is due on some old debts...and I am going to collect...bank on it." *Cole walks away,, As Kenny composes himself* KP: "Back to you, Mr. Manning." (Camera cuts back to the broadcast table.) RM: "It seems pretty clear that Matt Cole did not watch the conclusion to the Ketch-Bedrock match, and did not see the shocking unmasking of Jack Ketch! Matt Cole holds a lot of respect for Noah Prejudice, but all that may change once news comes down to Cole!" HP: "Yeah, well as long as Cole has that damn Heart Punching hand trapped in a brace, he ain't much to Ol' Panzerotti, and I don't much care about what he thinks about Noah Prejudice until I see him kick some serious ass in the ring!" RM: "Well, then ... let's move along! The finals of the Plunderquest Tournament have arrived, Hollywood! All the first round winners will meet in what is certain to be the most violent, bloodiest, nastiest combat ever witnessed in the DCWL arena, thanks to...THE PLUNDERTRAP!" HP: "Gawd, I love this...The Mad Bastard himself, KING of the Plundermatches, our esteemed Commissioner KrackerJak, sought the darkest recesses of his mind for this one, folks. The Plundertrap is a massive roofed cage with thick, iron bars. It will sit over the ring like a standard cage match. However, in the middle of each of the five exposed sides of the cage are sliding doors that will open for THIRTY SECONDS every EIGHT MINUTES! Falls count anywhere, so at any time, you could have action inside, outside, or on top of the cage!" RM: "In addition to these doors and the cage--you will have SEVEN men in competition--with the only way to win being to score a pinfall over each of the other six men in the match! The winner of this contest will be the ultimate Plunderweight Champion of the World, proving not only his strength and stamina, but his ability to utilize various objects and show the mental prowess to outlast the other six hungry competitors." HP: "Any let's not forget the best part, Manning--THE PLUNDAH!!! Any object, anything goes, anytime! Objects may be brought to the ring, they may be collected from the crowd, they may be pulled out from under the ring, dropped from the ceiling, run in by other DCWL wrestlers--THERE ARE NO RULES TO THE PLUNDAH!!!" RM: "Skye Ashner will be the first man in the ring--straight from his victory over Guido the Great. Remember that Ashner has nearly won the Plunderweight title before and technically beat KrackerJak for the title, in a Broken Coconut match at On Location this year. However, a minor technicality robbed him of the title and forced the Commissioner to organize this tournament!" HP: "Technicality my sweet Aunt Gertie's fanny. Ashner was never supposed to be the Plunderweight Champ. It was God's Mandate." RM: "Also in action, Haplo ‘the Vagabond’ defeated Naja Takemara to earn a place in the ring. Mark Haley, a crowd favorite, scored a big win over Jackson Hunter to make his way to the ring, and you had better believe he's looking forward to a reunion with Skye Ashner! Also in action, the Sammich lover himself, Naoki 'Suga Sweet' Yoneyama scored the biggest upset of the day, defeating Crimestarter Jim with assistance from The Vindicator and Dontre Nero!" HP: "Assistance? They handed him the damn thing on a silver platter!" RM: "In a strange Commissioner's decision, Dontre Nero and Ahmed Akbar, two men with nothing but hatred for each other, battled to a TIE during their strap match...so the Commissioner has advanced BOTH men to the Plundertrap--on the condition they they remain tethered together!" HP: "If those two sheep-lovers can get it through their thick knuckle-heads to work together on this match, that strap can actually become a very nice asset to both of them--but it will require teamwork!" RM: "And the favorite for this match--simply because of his first round-bye, 'The Outlaw' Jess Bollinger came out here earlier in the night dished some dirt on The Capitol, and found himself on the receiving end of a Widowmaker from Jack Ketch! Still, he's the only one who didn't have to fight a complete match to get here." HP: "And add to that the fact that Bollinger was recently crowned as one-half of the tag-team champs and his partner--although tethered to a large, bald, black ex-convict, is in the ring with him. I don't know how lovey-dovey Bollinger and Akbar are, but if they can work together on this match, they stand a better-than-good chance at coming out of this thing with some new gold to add to their collection." RM: "All the contestants are in the Plundertrap! The doors are sealed for the next eight minutes! Let's start the match!" **DING DING DING** For the first half-instant, there is nothing – no motion, no noise, not even a grin or a smirk. Then, like an F-5 tornado touching down on a small Kansas farmstead, everyone bursts into action, a blur of color, power, and aggression! Akbar and Nero clothesline Mark Haley with their strap, taking him to the canvas with vigor. Akbar mounts an attack and begins punching away on Haley's face, while Nero busies himself with Haplo the Vagabond; the two men trade right hands, with neither having much effect on the other. Skye Ashner elbows Jess Bollinger, who retaliates immediately, with a punch to the stomach that doubles Skye over. Bollinger capitalizes quickly, snapping a knee into Ashner's mouth, that sends the former champ flying backwards into the ropes. Naoki Yoneyama runs up to Jess Bollinger, and begins slapping his belly while screaming, "Moooo! Mooooo!" Bollinger grabs Yoneyama by the top of his head, dragging him in a wide circle, throwing him through the ropes and into the steel cage! Yoneyama falls out of the ring and into the narrow walkway, between the ring apron and the cage itself. Mark Haley is able to grab Akbar's fist, and uses a twisting Armbar to drag the big Arab off of him. The strap between Akbar and Nero tightens and suddenly, Nero is off-balance. Haplo capitalizes quickly, rushing Nero, with a spear and driving him into the ropes. Haplo lifts Nero into a high Spinebuster and turns away from Akbar, driving Nero down into the canvas with authority! The strap snaps Akbar back and he trips over Mark Haley, crashing into Haplo's legs, buckling them under the big Greek. Ashner comes off the ropes and delivers a clothesline, to the back of Bollinger's head, who dives face-first into the canvas. Ashner stomps on Bollinger's back, grinding his heel into the Outlaw's spine, but Bollinger twists out from under Ashner's foot, and rolls to a crouching position, where Ashner charges him, and is met with a flat-hand strike to the solar plexus. Ashner's breath shoots from his lungs and he is stunned! Bollinger picks Ashner up on his shoulder, and drives him into a reverse atomic drop! Ashner bounces off of Bollinger's knee, holding his crotch. HP: "Anyone who permanently sterilizes Ashner during this match can have the keys to my BMW." Haplo gets to his feet and rushes Mark Haley, But Mr. Showtime ducks Haplo's punch, and counters with his own roundhouse left. The punch catches Haplo in the gut, but it only knocks him off-course for a second. Haplo spins around behind Haley, and grabs a handful of hair, yanking backwards and Haley smashes to the mat. Elsewhere, Nero and Akbar are yelling at each other. Akbar yanks hard on the strap, unbalancing Nero, and Nero falls into the ropes. Akbar leaps onto Nero and chokes him, with a sitting guillotine whilst against the ropes. Suddenly, there is motion from the ring apron. Naoki Yoneyama appears from under the ring apron, having crawled under the entire ring and appeared on the other side. Yoneyama has a fire extinguisher in his hands. He opens it full-bore on Akbar, blasting him backwards. The crowd cheers for the first bit of PLUNDAH introduced. Yoneyama throws the discharged extinguisher into the ring, and dives back under the ring to look for more. Ashner is picking himself off the mat, looking for Bollinger. The Outlaw has gone to engage Haplo, but The big Greek sees the Outlaw coming and leaves Haley on the mat. The two big men lock up with a collar-and-elbow tie-up, and both try to outmuscle the other. Suddenly, Bollinger dips a shoulder, and yanks Haplo over the top of him, sending Haplo crashing towards Ashner, and amazingly, the New classic sees him coming and is able to react, catching him in a dragon-screw leg takedown. Haplo is whipped hard into the ropes behind Ashner, and Bollinger follows Ashner's move, clubbing Haplo on the neck with a hammer punch. Bollinger and Ashner stomp Haplo while he's down, unloading massive boots to the Greek's head. Bollinger lifts Haplo to his shoulders, and then falls forward to his knees! RM: "The Outlaw Crusher! Bollinger has already delivered a patented move!" Ashner suddenly grabs Bollinger by the back of the head, and throws him through the ropes. Bollinger creases the cage, and falls between the cage and the ring. Quickly Ashner scurries across and covers Haplo: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Skye Ashner has scored the first pinfall of this contest!" HP: "Without doing a lick of work for it, too." Nero picks himself off the ropes and goes looking for Akbar, who is sitting in the ring, clawing CO2 out of his eyes. Nero wraps the strap around Akbar's neck and chokes him with it, pressing a knee into the Arab's back. Elsehwere, Mark Haley picks up the empty fire extinguisher, and slams it into Dontre Nero's head, and the ex-con falls to the canvas like a rag doll! Haley goes for a pin: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Mark Haley records his first pin on Dontre Nero!" HP: "And I don't think that will be the last pin on Nero!" Akbar quickly moves into a cover over the still-prone Nero. He hooks the leg: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** Haley creases Akbar's skull with the extinguisher, knocking the smelly Arab out. Haley covers Akbar: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Mark Haley is on a rampage! He already has TWO pinfalls!" Naoki Yoneyama emerges from under the ring once again, this time dragging a wooden table. Suga'Sweet slides the table into the ring, and gophers under the mat once again. HP: "That kid is nuttier than a squirrel." Bollinger crawls back into the ring, and attacks Skye Ashner, kneeing him in the stomach, then drives an elbow into the back of his head. As the Outlaw Drags Ashner to his feet, a horn suddenly blasts! RM: "Eight minutes have elapsed! The Plundertrap doors are opening!" A sly smile crosses Bollinger's face, and he punches Ashner with a closed fist in the jaw. Skye slumps forward against the ropes, in the middle of one side of the ring. Bollinger delivers a swift kick to Ashner's backside, and Ashner flips over the top rope, landing on his feet, and falling through the Plundertrap door outside the ring! Bollinger follows Ashner out of the ring, and through the Plundertrap door! Meanwhile, Mark Haley and Haplo lock up, with Haplo powering through Haley, and shoving him into the corner of the ring. Haplo holds Haley in the corner with a ham-like fist, and punches his head with clubbing blows. Haley is trying to dance away, but Haplo is holding him in place, relentlessly pounding away. Naoki Yoneyama comes out from under the ring, with a giant, metal spring: a thick, heavy spring, like something from under a playground horse. Yoneyama sees the door open in front of him and walks through. A horn suddenly blasts again and the Plundertrap doors slide closed. RM: "Yoneyama, Bollinger, and Skye Ashner are trapped outside of the Plundertrap, leaving Akbar and Nero, Haplo, and Mark Haley inside the ring!" Akbar and Nero are slowly getting to their feet, and immediately, Akbar goes after Haplo, grabbing him around the waist from behind. Haplo stops punching on Haley and tries to break Akbar's hold, but Akbar lifts Haplo into the air, then spins and drives Haplo to the canvas. Nero steps in to punch Haley, swinging a big left... ...and having his punch stop just short of Haley's face, because of the leather strap tethered to Akbar! Haley smiles and drives his own punch into Nero's ribs, just below his left arm, doubling Nero over, allowing Haley to drive big forearms into his back, driving Nero down to the canvas. Haley gets Nero in a standing headscissor, then picks him up, spinning him into a powerbomb, and dropping him on the back of Akbar, who was just getting to his knees! Outside of the ring, Bollinger drags Ashner to his feet, and whips him into the cage. Ashner is able to stop the whip, stepping into the rungs of cage, taking two steps up the side, and backflipping over Bollinger's head, landing on both feet. The new Classic spears Bollinger in the back, crushing him against the side of the cage, then slips his arms through the cage, under Bollinger's arms, and forces a sort of full-nelson through the cage; Bollinger is getting choked out against an iron bar! Outside the cage, Yoneyama seems to be in his own world. He drops the spring and laughs as it bounces. A fan is holding out a sandwich, which Yoneyama graciously accepts, bowing lowly and sitting down, cross-legged, to happily eat it. Nero gets off of Akbar and tries to retaliate against Haley, but is clipped from behind by Haplo, who drives Nero across the ring like a train, and smashes him into the far turnbuckle. The wrist tether yanks Akbar's arm, and drags him towards Nero and Haplo, preventing him from getting to Haley. Haley headbutts Akbar and knocks him to his knees, and then drives a knee into the side of the Arab. He grabs Akbar's head and suddenly swivels, falling down and dragging Akbar with him. Akbar's head bounces off his shoulder, and Haley springs back to his feet, getting behind Akbar and putting him into a full-nelson. RM: "Mark Haley has Akbar in a full-nelson--perhaps no other wrestler is able to utlize that hold as effectively as Haley does!" Haley lifts Akbar and releases one hand, swinging Akbar around and drives Akbar's head into the canvas, blithely executing his Total Eclipse DDT; Akbar is out cold, as Haley hooks the leg: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** Haplo has Nero in a double-underhook hold, and he snaps out from the corner, sending Nero flying in a release suplex! Nero flies a short distance, but the wrist tether cuts his flight short and he crashes hard! Haplo gets up and sees Haley celebrating the pin, and Haplo grabs Haley's head and tucks it under his arm. He spins and drives Haley's head into Akbar's stomach, with a DDT of his own! Haplo covers Akbar: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Haplo is on the board with his first pinfall! But he's not done!" Haplo drags Haley to his feet, kicks him in the stomach, then quickly locks him into a standing headscissors! He lifts him into a Jackknife Powerbomb, and DRIVES him into the still-folded table, in the corner of the ring! Haplo covers Haley: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THR-KICKOUT! RM: "Haley kicked out at the last second! Haley kicked out of the Nexus bomb! A damn Nexus bomb onto a table!" Anger crosses Haplo's face, as he drags Haley up again, and puts him in a standing headscissors. He lifts Haley up into position once more, and then brings him down hard on the canvas! Haplo picks up the table and lays it flat across Haley's body! Haplo crosses the ring and grabs the still groggy Akbar. He drags Akbar to his feet, kicks him in the stomach and lifts the big smelly Arab! He turns and Powerbombs Akbar onto the table, which promptly cracks, but doesn't break over Haley's body! Haplo rolls Akbar off the table and lies across it, effectively pinning Haley beneath the table. The ref counts: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Haplo scores his second pinfall with a quick display of sheer power against two very good opponents!" Outside the ring, Bollinger has been choked out. Ashner finally releases the hold, and the Outlaw just falls away from the cage. Ashner walks over to the announcer table, and grabs a stray folding chair. He walks back and lays it over Bollinger's head, then suddenly takes a running step, leaps to the announce table, then falls away in a guillotine leg drop; His leg connects with the chair with a sickening thud! Grinning, Ashner covers Bollinger: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Skye Ashner is on a major roll early in this match-up, Hollywood! He has already scored a pinfall on Haplo the Vagabond and Jess Bollinger, two of the biggest threats of this match!" Ashner stands over Bollinger and struts for a second; making the sign of a belt over his CHISELED ABS! A horn sounds and the doors to the Plundertrap roll open. Ashner dives inside the ring, and slides to a stop near Dontre Nero, who, having just gotten to his feet, lays a few kicks into Skye Ashner. As Ashner gets to his feet, Nero whips the strap around Ashner's neck, and begins choking out Ashner. Suddenly, Haplo charges and he bores right into them, sending both men through the ropes, out of the Plundertrap! Akbar is dragged along, falling out of the ring, but landing within the Plundertrap! Haley is crawling out of the wreckage of the table. He is shaking his head and clutching his side. Haplo grabs Haley and runs him out of the ring, throwing him through the door on the far side! Suddenly the horn sounds and the doors close! Haplo is trapped inside the cage! He doesn't see Akbar, who is lying at the base of the cage, on the ring side opposite Haplo! He grabs the bars of one of the doors, and shakes them in frustration. RM: "Well this is a development! Ahmed Akbar and Dontre Nero are trapped on opposite sides of the cage! Outside the cage, Haley and Bollinger, are both getting to their feet near the announcers table; Both men are visibaly hurting. They size each other up and immediately lock up. Bollinger is able to control Haley, pushing him into the announcers table, and laying into him with a few cross-chops to the chest. Bollinger levels Haley across the table, turning to get a folded table, which he throws onto the top of the Plundertrap cage. He gets a pair of folded chairs and tosses them up there, too. HP: "What is that psychopath doing?" On the side of the cage where there is no action going on, Naoki Yoneyama is still in his own world; he's playing with the metal spring he found, bouncing it, bouncing on it, running around with it, and bouncing into things, then laughing as he bounces off of them. Basically, he's turned into a semi-maniacal, sandwich-loving Tigger. On the ramp side of the cage, Ashner and Nero are brawling; Nero is confined to a small area near the cage. Ashner rolls away from Nero, who is stopped by the leather strap! Nero tugs, pulling Akbar against the side of the cage, but he only has a small area. Ashner smirks and heads up the ramp. He disappears behind the entrance curtain for a moment, but then suddenly appears with a large, rolling dumpster. Ashner gives the dumpster a shove at the top of the ramp, and it rolls, getting a nice head of steam. Nero can't avoid it... *! SSMMMAAAAASSSHH!* ...and the dumpster SLAMS into Nero, smashing him into the cage, and pinning his head and right arm above the dumpster! Ashner jogs down the ramp and leaps into the dumpster. He starts hauling out all manner of Plunder: golf clubs, bats, and hockey sticks; trash cans, sheet pans, and barbed wire; hammers, rulers, and staple guns; old computer hard-drives, street signs, bottles; busted guitars, crowbars, and sledgehammers. HP: "THAT'S IT, BABY! BRING ON THE PLUNDAH!!!" Ashner is literally coating the area, on one side of the Plundertrap, with Plundertastic, Plunder-orgasmic weaponry. Eventually, he stops throwing stuff out of the dumpster, and emerges from the green refuse container, with a large, sectioned lunch tray. He shows the camera the bottom, which it plainly reads: "Property of Mississippi State Corrections". RM: "Why, that's a tray from the prison where Dontre Nero was confined for seven years!" Ashner shows the tray all around, then crushes it into Nero's head several times, before throwing it to the top of the cage. Ashner bails out of the dumpster, and runs around the side of the cage, just as Naoki Yoneyama accidentally launches the spring. Ashner can't bail in time, and the heavy, metal spring chunks him in the forehead, ripping a nasty gash in the middle of his melon, causing him to spurt blood like a fountain. HP: "BLOOOOOOOOOOD!!! BLOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!" Ashner staggers for a second, stumbling like a drunk, then falls backwards, knocked out. Yoneyama looks terrified for a moment. The crowd is urging the wacky youngster to go for the pin... and after a moment, he does: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Naoki Yoneyama has scored his first pinfall against SKYE ASHNER!" HP: "Did this Sammich kid cut a deal with the devil or what?" Yoneyama goes back and looks at the spring with reverence. He holds is aloft to the crowd and shouts, "BOI-OI-OING!!!" Yoneyama runs around the other side of the cage, where Haley is still laid out on the announce table, and Bollinger is throwing more folding chairs to the top of the cage. Yoneyama cruises around the side of the cage, and shouts, "BOI-OI-OI-OING!!!" Bollinger turns around to look at him, just in time to see Yoneyama throw the spring at the ground. The spring ricochets upwards, and clocks Bollinger right in the chin. The velocity of the spring actually lifts Bollinger off his feet, and sends him sprawling, dazed, to the ground. Yoneyama runs over and puts a foot on Bollinger's chest, like Tarzan standing over a beaten foe. The referee counts: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** HP: "I don't freakin' believe it!" RM: "Yoneyama scores his second pinfall--this one over Jess Bollinger!" Yoneyama screams again, "BOI-OI-OING!" energized by two pinfalls, and the screams of the crowd. He runs in place for a moment, but notices Mark Haley getting off the table "BOI-OI-OI-OI-OING!!!" The spring flies again, whacking Haley broadside against the temple. The sharp end of the spring carved into the side of Haley's head, opening a nasty flap of skin. Haley spins where he stands, and blood sprays out from the side of his head! Yoneyama covers: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "His third! His third pinfall!" HP: "I've died and gone to hell!" Yoneyama runs in place, then watches as someone, from some where, throws a four-foot long submarine sandwich, wrapped in plastic, to the top of the cage. Yoneyama just catches its graceful arc, and he is drawn in. Like a moth to flame, Yoneyama starts climbing the cage. The camera catches a glimpse of the Red Phoenix, rubbing his hands gleefully, darting through the crowd. Haplo is pacing the cage like a tiger, and finally he catches sight of Akbar, trapped with his arm pinned, next to the base of the Plundertrap door. Haplo crawls out of the ring, and begins lacing kicks of frustration into Akbar, who is helpless to defend against them. RM: "Haplo has already scored a pinfall over Akbar--this assault won't do him any good." HP: "Keeps him happy, though, doesn't it?" Dontre Nero is able to finally shove the dumpster away from him, and he slumps to the ground painfully. He can't go anywhere, still tethered to Akbar. Ashner is rolling to his feet, blood still flowing freely from the nice hack in his grill. He stumbles around to the side of the cage, where Bollinger and Haley are just staggering to their feet; all three men shaking out the cobwebs. Haley lurches towards Ashner and both men tie up. Bollinger catches sight of Yoneyama, sitting on top of the cage, happily unwrapping the sub sandwich, with a sort of reverence. He starts the long climb up the metal rungs. Haley drags Ashner to the ground with a hip toss, and kneels on the side of Ashner's neck. He pins Ashner's arm out of the way with a side Armbar, then laces a few left-handed punches into Skye's ribs. The horn sounds again and the Plundertrap doors open! Haplo wastes no time in diving out of the Plundertrap. He quickly scoops up a mess of plunder, and runs around the side of the ring. With the help of a two-by-four, Haplo lays into Mark Haley's back, cracking the two-by-four across his upper body. Haley just crumbles, falling forward face-first and lying still. Ashner rolls away from a hockey stick attack. Haplo cracks down again, but Ashner, purely on survival instinct, rolls away again. Haplo cracks again--this time too fast for Ashner to roll away, and he puts up a forearm to block the shot. The stick cracks across Ashner's wrist and he howls in pain! The horn sounds and the doors close; NO ONE is inside the Plundertrap! RM: "I think Haplo may have just broken Skye Ashner's wrist!" Nero drags Akbar out of the Plundertrap ring. He stands the Arab up and levels him with a big right hand; Akbar flies backwards, into the cage. Nero grabs a nearby trashcan, and swings it in a high, arching swing, crushing down on Abkar's head and he crumples. Nero covers his strap-mate and hooks the legs into a cradle: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Dontre Nero records his first pin of the contest!" HP: "Where are we at now? Bollinger hasn't pinned anyone! Nero has pinned Akbar. Akbar has pinned Nero. Haley has pinned Nero and Akbar. Ashner has pinned Haplo and Bollinger. Haplo has pinned Akbar and Haley. And in the lead...Naoki 'Monkeywhumpus' Yoneyama has pinned Skye Ashner, Jess Bollinger, and Mark Haley!" Bollinger gets to the top of the cage, and sees Naoki 'Suga Sweet 'Yoneyama; The Sammich Master has set up a folding chair, on top of a flat table. He is happily smiling and munching on his sandwich. Seeing Bollinger crest the cage, he tears off a section of sandwich and holds it out for him. Bollinger smacks it out of his hand, and hauls back, leveling him with a right hand, causing Yoneyama's sub goes flying into the crowd. From the edge of the cage, sprawled on the iron bars, he forlornly watches it go. Bollinger picks up a folding chair, and cracks it across Yoneyama’s back. He follows it with a loud, sharp crack to the back of Yoneyama's head; Yoneyama goes limp. Bollinger rolls Yoneyama onto the flat table and covers: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Bollinger is in the game!" HP: "We're nearly at the thirty minute mark in this contest--and can you believe that we've seen ELEVEN pinfalls so far? Just outstanding! Even for a bunch of one-nut monkey-humpers." Bollinger picks up Yoneyama, by the back of his pants, and the scruff of his shirt, and FLINGS him over the side of the cage! Twenty feet in the air, Yoneyama plummets down, and lands on Dontre Nero and Ahmed Akbar! Both men act as a landing pad, for the flying Sammich, and all three go sprawling to the ground; Yoneyama is actually lying across both Nero and Akbar, who are flat on their backs! A referee maneuvers into position to count: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** The crowd explodes! RM: "A DOUBLE PIN: Naoki 'Suga Sweet' Yoneyama jumps WAAAY out into the lead in the PLUNDERQUEST MATCH! He has pinned EVERYONE EXCEPT HAPLO THE VAGABOND!" HP: "I...cannot...believe...this." Haplo is abusing Ashner on the other side of the cage, albeit, one-handed and holding his possible broken wrist, close to his body for protection. Meanwhile, his head wound is still bleeding. Haplo sets Ashner in a standing headscissors, he lifts Ashner for the Nexusbomb, and brings Ashner down on the announce table... ...but it doesn't break. Ashner's back is bent, at a horrible angle across the table, and he groans in pain. Haplo slaps a strong hand across Ashner's throat, and throws Skye's arm behind his head, then lifting Ashner into the air for a Chokeslam, bringing him down on the announce table once again... ...but the table refuses to give! Angry, Haplo drags Ashner off the table and to the floor. He covers Ashner, hooking the leg: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "He's got it! Haplo has pinned Skye Ashner!" "Whaddya want?" [The children’s voices ring out across the arena, singing a joyful ditty to a face POP.] "Candy-coated Popcorn, Peanuts and a prize... That’s what you get in KrackerJak-Jak-Jak-Jak." HP: "The Commissioner is here?" KrackerJak's face appears on the giant monitor screen: KJ: "We're at the thirty-two minute mark, boys...Here's a little surprise for you all!" Suddenly, a horn sounds, the balloons on the ceiling all pop, and THUMBTACKS - MILLIONS of pointy litle thumbtacks - rain down from the ceiling over the Plundertrap like rain, making a glorious noise as they coat the entire ring. The crowd is going absolutely berserk! Atop the cage, Jess Bollinger is bent over, protecting his head with his arms, as the thumbtacks contuniue to rain down. The Plundertrap doors suddenly open, and Jess Bollinger is standing in the middle of the Plundertrap! He looses his balance and falls backwards through the door, crashing to the mat of thumbtacks, bouncing them into the air like snow; He screams out in pain. Dontre and Nero roll Yoneyama off themselves, and head back into the ring through the Plundertrap door. Haplo leaves Ashner rolling on the ground ringside, and heads back into the ring area. The horn sounds and the doors close again, Bollinger, Haplo, Nero, and Akbar in the cage; Ashner, Haley, and Yoneyama all outside the cage. Ashner and Haley start to lace into each other, with punches and deft kicks; Haley is doubled-over by a powerful side kick, to the stomach from Ashner, but it gives Haley a chance to grab, a chunk of busted two-by-four from the floor, and come up in a hard arc, that catches Ashner in the jaw; Ashner is flipped backwards by the force of the blow, and he crashes to the mats. Haley staggers over and goes for the cover: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THR-KICK OUT! RM: "NO! Ashner was able to kick out just in time! Where did he find the strength to do that?" HP: "Couldn't tell you, Manning. This kid is going on pure guts!" Inside the cage, Bollinger is literally coated with thumbtacks; they stick in his skin and his clothes; there are a few in his hair; even one smack bang in the middle of his chin. He is slowly getting to his feet, just as Dontre Nero and Akbar run past him, their leather strap catching him about the ankles, and knocking him flat on his back. Haplo the Vagabond follows quickly, dropping a knee onto Bollinger's chest. Nero and Akbar lace a few kicks into Bollinger's legs, slamming thumbtacks deeper into his skin. HP: "Those three are taking it to Bollinger like he's the slowest Yak in the herd, Manning! They are predatory animals and there is blood in the water!" Haplo drags Bollinger to his feet. Nero and Akbar stretch their leather strap tight between them, as Haplo lifts Bollinger into the air, then falls backwards, creasing Bollinger's neck, across the leather strap. Nero and Akbar yank the strap tight again, and Bollinger is flung backwards; He is coughing blood. Nero starts to go for the cover, but Akbar yanks him off of Bollinger, and tries to cover himself. Nero yanks Akbar off Bollinger, and they start trading punches between themselves once again. Undaunted, Haplo goes after Bollinger and covers: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "That's a pin! Haplo has four of the six pinfalls needed to win!" Skye Ashner rolls away from Mark Haley, and starts climbing the Plundertrap cage. Haley drags himself to his feet shortly thereafter, and starts following the New Classic. Ashner gets to the top and beckons Haley to come after him. Using the folding chairs as a base, Ashner erects the folding table, in the middle of the Plundertrap. Haley gets to the top of the cage, and stands to meet Ashner's flurry of punches; Ashner scores two punches, for every shot Haley is able to get off, but Haley's punches count more, connecting with the gash on Ashner's head and opening it further. Both men are bleeding like dying animals. Akbar and Nero see Haplo with the pin on Bollinger, and they stop punching each other. Nero points at Haplo and tugs on the strap. Akbar slowly nods, grimly setting his jaw. The two men run at Haplo and deliver a double clothesline, that sends the big Greek crashing to the thumbtack-covered mat. Akbar is quick to grab Haplo's hair, and drag him back to his feet. Then, Nero runs a tight circle around Haplo, and he pulls the leather strap tight, ensnaring Haplo's legs, and sending him back to the canvas, unbalanced, landing flat on the bed of thumbtacks. Nero yanks backwards on the strap, and he and Akbar both fall onto Haplo's arms, lifting Haplo's legs in a sort of cradle with the leather strap, and pinning each of his shoulders to the mat! The ref counts: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Another double pin: Finally using teamwork, Dontre Nero and Ahmed Akbar are both able to score a pin on Haplo the Vagabond!" Suddenly, Bollinger is there! He lifts the cracked folding table, that was still in the corner of the mat from before, and brings it down across the heads of Nero and Akbar! *! CCRRRUUUNNNKK!* A sick noise grinds out from beneath the table, and both men fall backwards, knocked out. Bollinger falls on Akbar: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Another pin for Jess 'The Outlaw' Bollinger!" Atop the cage, Skye Ashner and Mark Haley are trading shots; Haley ducks a shot and suddenly Ashner's off-balance. Haley capitalizes, lifting Ashner to his shoulder from behind, and then attempting to drop Ashner through the table, in the middle of the Plundertrap! Ashner, like a cat, somehow gets one foot under himself, and he is able to leap off the table, to the bars of the Plundertrap, however he is badly off-balance, and in full-forward motion. He somehow barely catches himself at the edge of the cage, off-balance and flailing his arms madly! He bends low forward, nearly falling off the cage, but then suddenly turns and nearly falls backwards off the cage! Mark Haley grabs a folding chair, and wings it at Ashner like a Frisbee! It cracks Ashner in the chest, and both the chair and Ashner fly off the edge of the cage, crashing into the dumpster Ashner rolled to ringside earlier! The crowd starts chanting: "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" The horn sounds again and the doors to the Plundertrap open. Mark Haley rolls himself into the cage from above, dropping into the cage by holding onto the bars, and somersaulting in, unlike the Outlaws ungraceful fall. But, Jess Bollinger is there to meet him, catching him in a wicked spear, before Haley even touches the mat, driving him to the canvas in a spray of thumbtacks. Nero and Akbar drag each other from the ring, and leave the Plundertrap, both eyeing the dumpster, that Ashner recently made his own private airstrip. Haplo tries to roll out of the ring to go after them, but the horn sounds and the door closes before he can get there. Outside the ring, Yoneyama has regained consciousness, and is crawling on his hands and knees. Occasionally, he mumbles, "Boi-oi-oi-oing..." Nero and Akbar both roll into the dumpster, where Skye Ashner is just painfully getting to his feet; The chair that knocked him off the top of the cage is in his hands. As Nero and Akbar near the dumpster, Ashner swings for the fences, catching Akbar square in the side of the head; Akbar goes down like a lead sinker. Ashner raises the chair again to hit Nero, but Nero ducks and counters with a right hand, that spins Ashner around 180 degrees; Blood sprays off of Ashner's head. Nero tries to leap over the edge of the dumpster, but the tether only allows him to get so far. Ashner has a clear shot and he takes it! *! CRRRAAAAAAAASSSHH !* Ashner bends the chair over Nero's skull, and Nero falls to the ground. Ashner covers Nero in the dumpster: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Ashner has recorded another pinfall!" Inside the ring, Haplo has vaulted into the ring. Bollinger and Haley are brawling in the corner, Haley on his back, trading punches with Bollinger who is on top of him. Haplo lays a kick to the back of Bollinger's head, and he falls into the sea of thumbtacks. Haplo drags Haley to his feet, then sets him into a reverse standing side-headlock. Haplo salutes the crowd, then lifts Haley into the air, and delivers a reverse Falcon Arrow onto Bollinger's back, pressing both of them into the thumbtacks. HP: "Ain't that pretty? Bollinger and Haley all decorated for Christmas." Ashner gets to his feet, Nero still out on the bottom of the dumpster, when Akbar cracks a golf club across the back of Ashner's melon; Ashner falls dead away. Akbar salutes the crowd, then turns towards the camera, and shows that the club was a nine-iron. RM: "A tribute to the Capitol, perhaps?" Akbar climbs into the dumpster, and drags Ashner to his feet. Akbar tucks Ashner's head under his arm, and throws Ashner's arm behind his neck. Akbar lifts Asher straight into the air, holding him aloft for a second, and then falling backwards! Ashner lands back-first, across the thin metal edge of the dumpster; His back bends at an unholy angle. He falls out of the dumpster, screaming in agony. RM: "My god! I think Ahmed Akbar just broke Skye Ashner's back! I think he may have paralyzed him!" Akbar drags Nero to his feet, and pushes him out of the dumpster. Nero crawls over to Ashner's body, and turns him over, flat on his back. Nero falls on Ashner and hooks the leg: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Dontre Nero has recorded a pinfall on Skye Ashner!" Akbar climbs out of the dumpster and hooks a leg on Ashner, as well: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Skye Ashner isn't moving! He's flat on his back! I think he may be hurt badly!" HP: "Well, no duh! Akbar snapped him like a damn twig!" Inside the ring, Haplo goes for a cover on Haley: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE-KICKOUT! Haley rolls away from Haplo, and struggles to his feet, fists clenched. Haley launches forward like a panther, and clotheslines Haplo square in the throat. Haplo is stunned, falling backwards, through the ropes and to the mat. Haley kicks a bunch of tacks at Haplo, then turns his attention back to Jess Bollinger. Bollinger is getting to his feet, and is met with a round-kick to the head from Haley, that knocks him back to his hands and knees. Mr. Showtime snakes in behind him and laces him into a full-nelson. Haley drags Bollinger to his feet in the full-nelson and then lifts, spinning around and slamming Bollinger face-first, to the thumbtack-covered mat in the full-nelson! RM: "A Total Eclipse belly-to-back full-nelson slam!" HP: "Say that six times fast." Haley rolls Bollinger to his back and hooks a leg: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Haley has recorded another pinfall!" HP: "That makes three for Haley! He only needs Ashner, Haplo, and Yoneyama!" The horn sounds suddenly and the doors open. Nero and Akbar see Bollinger, still down in the ring and set after him. Haplo crawls out the door looking for Yoneyama, and Haley staggers after him! Yoneyama crawls into the cage and underneath the ring. The horn sounds again! Bollinger is just getting to his feet. Akbar charges him with a shoulder-block, that spins the unprepared Bollinger around, and forces him into the ropes. Nero comes up behind Bollinger, and delivers a solid forearm to the back, that causes Bollinger to bend back just far enough, for Nero to throw an arm across his chest, and another one under his leg! Nero picks up Bollinger and drops him back-first, across his bended knee. Nero falls onto Bollinger and goes for the cover --But Akbar yanks him off and falls on Bolllinger for the cover. Nero grabs the leather strap, and throws it around Akbar's neck, dragging him backwards, punching his head at the same time. Akbar and Nero start trading blows, and Akbar knocks Nero through the ropes --Nero lands on the floor outside of the rring, and uses the leather strap to drag Akbar through the ropes, to the floor outside the ring. Bollinger rolls out of the ring and flips the ring apron up --he reaches under the ring,. and pulls out an aluminum baseball bat, and a length of barbed wire. Wrapping the wire around the bat, he goes after Akbar and Nero; Neither of the two strap-mates seem him coming. Bollinger creases the back of Nero's head, cutting him open badly across the crown. Akbar ducks the first shot, but Bollinger is too quick for him to duck the second. Bollinger delivers a vertical butt-stroke to Akbar's chin, gashing him badly and sending him to the floor. The Arab tries to get up quickly, but Bollinger whacks him across the back, carving him like a turkey; Blood gushes from the wounds. Bollinger covers Nero: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "That's another one for Jess Bollinger!" HP: "Ain't none of the boys in this match-up gonna be pretty no more." Outside the ring, Haley is tracking Haplo, who in turn, is desperate seeking Yoneyama. Haley grabs a length of steel chain, and starts twirling it above his head. He calls out Haplo's name, who turns just in time to catch the chain in the temple. He spins away from the chain, holding his face, which is now bleeding from the corner of his eye. Each time Haplo blinks, his eye are streaked with blood; His left eye is now, essentially worthless to him for the time being. Haley throws out the chain again, and it wraps itself around Haplo's neck, yanking back hard on the chain, and Haplo is jerked off his feet; He falls to his back, grasping at the chain, clawing for precious air. Haley climbs a few rungs up on the Plundertrap and leaps off, dropping a leg onto Haplo's chest. He rolls off, wipes the blood from his cheek, and picks Haplo up, locking in the full-nelson once again. RM: "We've seen this before! The Total Eclipse! From that hold, Mark Haley can do practically anything!" Haley jerks Haplo hard right, then brings him back hard left, swinging Haplo's legs out from under him. Haley drops to one knee, slamming Haplo's back across the point of his knee. Haplo screams; Haley crumples, holding his leg. RM: "I don't think Mark Haley realized how much weight Haplo has! Dropping him across his knee like that could have broken Haley's kneecap!" HP: "Haley's knee? Think about Haplo's back! Give the man some worth, dammit!" Haley is favoring his right knee, but he drags himself over Haplo's body and holds Hap's shoulders to the mat: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "That's four pins for Mark Haley! He needs Ashner and Yoneyama!" Dontre Nero is holding his head, as he is trying to get to his feet, just as Bollinger is just rolling, off of Ahmed Akbar after the pin. Bollinger goes to pick up his barbed-wire bat, but suddenly, Nero lunges, and stomps down on the end of the bat. Bollinger's fingers are pinned to the floor! Nero smirks, then pushes all his weight down on the bat! Bollinger screams out as the fingers on his left hand, break under the weight. Nero keeps the weight on the bat, and Bollinger desperately tries to pull his hand out. Akbar slowly gets to his feet, and drops a double-axe handle, clobbering on Bollinger from behind. Bollinger falls forward, but doesn't go down all the way. Akbar yells something at Nero, then backs up a few feet. Akbar launches himself forward, arm extended, and Nero steps off the bat. Akbar connects a huge clotheline to Bollinger's neck, driving him backwards into the metal steps ringside. Nero picks up the bat and goes after Bollinger. With Bollinger's head still leaning against the steel steps, Nero hauls back and... *! CCRRRAAAAACCCKK !* ...the shockwave of metal-on-skull-on-metal, seems to silence the arena for a second. Bollinger just lolls to the side, unmoving. Blood is seeping from his forehead. Nero throws the bat down. Akbar covers Bollinger: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "That's another pin for Akbar!" Nero covers Bollinger with a foot to his chest, flexing as the referee counts: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "And another pinfall for Dontre Nero!" Skye Ashner is stirring, moaning loudly. He rolls over and clutches his lower back. Haplo pushes Haley off of him and rolls to his side. Haley leans back against the ring, holding his knee. Haplo staggers to his feet, leaning heavily against the Plundertrap. Suddenly--there's movement from the crowd, a figure in jeans and a silk shirt, leaps over the guardrail with a crowbar! RM: "That's Naja Takemara!" Takemara runs up behind Haplo, and creases his skull from behind with the crowbar; Haplo drops like a ton of bricks. Naja laces Haplo's hands between the rungs of the Plundertrap, and handcuffs him to the cage! Naja pulls a key out of his pocket and shows it to the camera, then, he hauls back and flings the key to the farthest rafters. Naja cracks Haplo once more with the crowbar, opening a fresh cut on Haplo's head, then dives back into the crowd, to a mixture of boos and cheers. RM: "Naja Takemara has handcuffed Haplo to the cage, most likely in retribution for the beating he took against Haplo earlier!" HP: "Never piss of that man, that's all I can say." RM: "Haplo still needed pinfalls on Dontre Nero and Naoki Yoneyama!" HP: "I think it's safe to say that he ain't gettin' them." The horn sounds again and the doors open. Nero and Akbar leave the ring, both going after Mark Haley. Bollinger slowly crawls out, but once outside the door, simply falls, he is barely moving. Like the proverbial groundhog, Naoki Yoneyama emerges from one side of the cage, looks around to see if anyone's there, then darts out of the ring just, as the Plundertrap's door close. No one is in the ring! Nero and Akbar converge on Mark Haley like rabid dogs. They both set to stomping Haley's legs. Haley spins on his side, and tries to protect his injured kneecap, against the side of the cage, leaving Akbar and Nero stomp away at his back and head. Nero grabs Haley's hair and forces Haley to stand up. Akbar grabs Haley's feet and yanks backwards; Haley cries out as his knee is straightened. Nero grabs Haley under his arms, together, Nero and Akbar lift Haley high into the air, then both slam him back, to the mats outside the cage, flat on his back; Both men fall on Haley, holding him down: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "A double-pin from Dontre Nero and Ahmed Akbar!" Akbar and Nero roll off Haley, just in time for Skye Ashner to swing a sledgehammer, into Ahmed Mullah Akbar's knee; Akbar falls and clutches his kneecap. Nero rushes Ashner, but Ashner spins out of the way, and slams the head of the sledge into Nero's lowerback; Nero falls to the ground. Ashner falls to his knees, and clutches his back again. RM: "How does Ashner find the strength to come back?" HP: "Must eat his Wheaties. I'll bet his chiropractor is already shopping for a new car. He's gonna make a fortune off of Skye Ashner." Ashner grits his teeth, and uses the head of the sledge, to thump Akbar across the forehead; Akbar slumps and lies still. allowing Ashner drapes himself over Akbar for the cover: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "That's four for Ashner! He needs Mark Haley and Naoki Yoneyama, yet!" HP: "Get up, dummy! Haley's ripe for the pickings right next to you!" Ashner can't seem to find the strength to get over to Haley, who is trying to drag himself to a standing position, by using the rungs of the Plundertrap cage. Jess Bollinger, bloody and barely conscious, crawls over to the equally barely conscious Haplo, and rolls him over onto his back: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "That's four for Jess Bollinger! He still needs Mark Haley and Skye Ashner!" Naoki Yoneyama finds his metal spring! He starts bouncing it again, and it bounces to the side of the ring, where Haley, Ashner, Nero, and Akbar, are milling around in various stages of agony. Naoki Yoneyama runs after his spring, and finds himself in the proverbial Lion's Den! Haley grabs at him, but Yoneyama ducks and starts to climb the cage! Haley starts after him, practically one-legged, using his arms and good leg to climb the cage. RM: "Dontre Nero and Ahmed Akbar only need Naoki Yoneyama for the win! If they should pin him, it will finally be over!" Ahmed Akbar starts to get to his feet. Dontre Nero is clutching his lower back, but is trying to get to his feet. Skye Ashner screams out in pain, with each and every movement, but he rolls to his feet. All three men start to climb the Plundertrap, after Haley and Yoneyama. Haley gets to the top and drags himself over the edge. Yoneyama is darting to the far side of the cage, but only sees Ashner's dumpster twenty-feet down. Nero and Akbar crest the cage, and Ashner follows, slowly, with a rectos of pain marked on his face. Haley limps across the top of the cage after Yoneyama, who starts to climb down the cage. Haley dives and grabs Yoneyama by the hair, preventing him from descending farther. Jess Bollinger is slowly starting to climb the cage, while Haplo just seethes in frustration. Bollinger is moving one rung at a time, then stopping and resting. He's obviously suffering from a serious concussion. Haley is pulling Yoneyama back to the top of the cage by his hair. Akbar dives to the edge of the cage, and tries to help Haley pull him up. Yoneyama is trying to run, but he's held tight. Haley and Akbar drag him over the lip of the Plundertrap. Ashner crests the cage and lies still; blood is dripping from his head, to the thumbtacks below. Haley and Akbar get to their feet, holding fast to Yoneyama. Haley and Akbar double-team Yoneyama, lifting him into a suplex. They fall backwards and smash Yoneyama to the cage. Nero checks to see if Yoneyama is all right, then makes a cover: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! NO! Akbar yanks the leather strap and Nero is pulled off of Yoneyama! RM: "We almost had a new champion, ladies and gentlemen!" Haley turns and pushes himself over to Yoneyama. Haley goes for a cover: RM: "Will it count on top of the cage?" HP: "Why not?" ONE . . . . TWO Akbar drags Haley off of Yoneyama by his bad leg, and Akbar wrenches Haley's knee to the side for good measure. Haley cries out in pain and clutches at his knee. Nero goes to cover Yoneyama again: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THR-NO! Once again, Akbar drags Nero off of Yoneyama. Jess Bollinger gets to the top of the cage! He drags himself over the edge and grits his teeth, struggling to get to his feet. Yoneyama rolls to his side, and tries to run to the other side of the cage. Ashner sees him coming and somehow is able to vault forward, snagging him with a forearm to the shins. Yoneyama trips and falls forward, grabbing the cage to keep himself from flying off the edge. Akbar clubs Nero with a ham-fist to the temple; Nero falls to his knees, with a glazed look in his eyes. Akbar tries to drag him across the Plundertrap to Yoneyama, but Nero locks into the rungs on top of the cage, and won't let him get there. Jess Bollinger gets to his feet, and lunges across the top of the cage. He falls heavily onto Ashner, with an elbow drop to the lower back; Ashner is in agony. Bollinger covers him on the top of the cage: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "That's five for Jess Bollinger! He only needs to get Mark Haley!" HP: "Every man on top of that cage is one pinfall from becoming the Plunderweight Champion!" The horn suddenly sounds and the doors open! Chaos breaks out on top of the cage. Mark Haley finds his legs and grabs Naoki Yoneyama, lifting him high into the air for a backdrop. At the same instant, Jess Bollinger goes after Mark Haley, slamming into his stomach. Haley looses his balance and falls backwards, Yoneyama falls, hitting the table, erected over the doorway to the Plundertrap! The door breaks in half and Yoneyama plummets to the mat, splashing down in a hail of thumbtacks. Haley lurches after him, rolling into the cage, he hangs for a moment, and then drops to the mat, landing on his feet--but his knee buckles, and he crumples, howling in pain. Skye Ashner, barely able to stand, slithers towards the door, and simply falls into the cage, crashing to the mat in a heap. Bollinger, near the edge of the cage, tries to go after Ashner, but is blocked at the entrance by Ahmed Akbar. Akbar punches Bollinger; The Outlaw punches Akbar, both men swing at the same time, connecting with mammoth head shots. Bollinger falls backwards, to the top of the cage, and Akbar lurches and falls into the cage, but just before he hits the mat, the leather tether to Dontre Nero snaps back, yanking both Akbar and Nero's arms in severely uncomfortable ways; both men are screaming, their shoulders look dislocated. The horn sounds and suddenly--the doors close! RM: "I do not believe what I'm seeing. I cannot comprehend this scenario! Naoki Yoneyama is unconscious in the middle of the ring, having survived a fifteen-foot fall through a table to a thumbtack-covered mat! Mark Haley--the one-legged wonder is on the side of the ring, clutching his knee in agony! Skye Ashner is just lying there, having dropped almost head-first into the ring from fifteen feet in the air! And Ahmed Akbar, still tethered to Dontre Nero, is dangling like a worm on a hook in the middle of the ring, his toes barely touching the canvas! Dontre Nero is stuck above the cage, his arm yanked through a rung on the door, and Jess Bollinger is barely alive on the top of the cage! Every single man in or above this ring is bloodied and injured! This is insane!" HP: "And I'm lovin' it, Manning! Haley needs to pin Yoneyama and Ashner! Ashner needs to pin Yoneyama and Haley! Akbar needs to pin Yoneyama, but it looks like that's not gonna be able to happen for at least another eight minutes! Yoneyama needs to pin Haplo, but he' handcuffed outside the cage! Bollinger needs to pin Haley! Nero needs to pin Yoneyama! Haplo needs to pin Yoneyama and Nero--but like I said, he ain't comin' into the ring!" Mark Haley drags himself through the thumbtacks, towards the motionless Naoki Yoneyama; His leg is dead weight. Unbelievably, Skye Ashner starts to move. Ashner starts to crawl towards Yoneyama, just as Haley drapes himself over Yoneyama's neck: ONE! Ashner pulls himself onto Yoneyama's legs! TWO!! ONE! All three men are motionless! THREE!!! TWO!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Mark Haley has pinned Naoki Yoneyama!" THREE!!! **DING DING DING** RM: "Skye Ashner has pinned Naoki Yoneyama! Ashner and Haley only need to pin each other to win!" No one moves for the longest of moments, and then Mark Haley rolls off of Yoneyama, and drags himself to the ropes. Ashner slowly brings his knees under his chest, and tries to round out his back. Haley uses the ropes to get himself to his feet. Ashner struggles to get a leg under himself. Haley is one-legged, using the ropes like a crutch, to maneuver himself closer to Ashner, who is barely getting to his feet. Haley lunges forward, hopping, and tackles Ashner into the mat. Haley rolls Ashner to his back, and goes for an adventous pin: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE!!! NO! SHOULDER UP! RM: "Somehow, Skye Ashner found a way to get his shoulder up! No pin:" Haley rolls to his side, looking frustrated as hell; Ashner rolls to his side, blood still streaming, his jaw set in a grimace of pain. Haley drags himself towards Ashner, and laces his arms through Ashner's arms, trying to get his lethal full-nelson locked in! Ashner spins and lands his weight on Haley's kneecap; Haley goes taut in pain, falling back against the canvas, allowing Ashner to grab a fist-full of thumbtacks, and rakes them down across Haley's face! New wounds start streaming blood down Haley's cheeks and lips. HP: "How much blood does a human body hold? These two are about out!" Ashner somehow finds the strength, to force Haley's shoulders to the canvas: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . THREE-SHOULDER UP! RM: "Mark Haley was able to roll to his side at the last moment; Skye Ashner not having the ability to lock his leg!" Haley rolls over to the ropes, and starts the arduous task of pulling himself up again. Ashner does the same thing, bent over like an old man, unable to stand up straight. Haley's eyes are searching for any sort of weapon. Ashner struggles to force himself to stand; but he does, screaming out in pain every inch of the way. Ashner staggers across the ring, and falls into Haley with a few weak punches; every motion sending shockwaves of pain down his spine. Haley twists away, and launches a solid right hand of his own, that catches the gash on Ashner's head, and opens it further, causing Ashner to stagger backwards a few steps. Haley looks around the ring, but can't find a weapon to use! Ashner points to his leg and looks around at the crowd! RM: "This could be the Superkick that Skye Ashner favors! If he lands it, it could be the end of the match!" HP: "How the hell is he gonna get a Superkick high enough with a broken damn back?" Ashner takes a hop step forward, and starts to raise his leg; Haley moves to block the high kick, but suddenly Ashner changes direction, and comes down to Haley's knee, connecting straight-on with the injured joint; Haley cripples to the canvas, howling in agony. Ashner falls forward, into the ropes,clutching his lower back. Haley can't move, as the pain is too much. Ashner forces himself to slide over to the turnbuckle! He starts to climb! RM: "This is ridiculous!" HP: "Ain't it great?" Ashner get to the top turnbuckle and slowly, painfully, grunting with exhaustion and fatigue, groaning in pain, gets himself to stand upright. He holds his arms aloft... AND FLIPS BACKWARDS OFF THE TURNBUCKLE! RM: "LIFE’S VELOCITY!" Ashner crashes on top of Haley, landing flush on his chest! Ashner isn't moving! Haley isn't moving! The referee swivels in for the count: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** PA: "Here is your winner ... and NEEEEEEEEW DCWL PLUNDERWEIGHT CHAMPIOOOOOOON ... SKYEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHNEEEEEEER!!!" (The crowd EXPLODES into wild cheers! Skye Ashner rolls off of Mark Haley, gasping for air with a faint smile on his face! The referee obtains the Plunderweight Championship, and brings it into the trembling hands of Ashner!) RM: "I don't believe it! I don't believe it! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" HP: "Ashner wins clean at a pay-per-view! Hell has frozen over!" RM: "Against all odds, with a possible broken back, SKYE ASHNER HAS WON BACK THE PLUNDERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!! (The wrestlers on the outside of the cage begin their disappointed trek back to the dressing room, as Ashner celebrates with a pained grimace on his face! Mark Haley rises up to his knees, shaking his head at his own inability to kick out of Life's Velocity. He struggles up to his feet, and offers Ashner a hand to shake. The crowd is loudly cheering, as Ashner accepts, and Haley raises his arm into the air to a HUGE pop from the fans!) HP: "DAMMIT! Kick his ass, Haley! Don't shake his hand! BAH!" RM: "A great show of sportsmanship, just as the crew is raising the PlunderTrap cage back to the roof of the Fleet Center! Folks, we are almost ready to roll with our final match of the night!" HP: "YES! How long has this damn thing been going on?!" RM: "One final battle for the Grand Championship ... let's go!" **DING DING DING** PA: "The following contest is the MAIN EVENT of DEMENTED QUEST II, and the third and final match for the DCWL GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first ... our third special guest referee ..." (Red and green fireworks blast out from the entranceway, sending the fans into a wild mix of cheers of boos!) PA: "Please welcome ... from New Jersey ... THE VINDICAAAATOOOOOOR!!!" (No longer do we hear the 7-year-old Gregorian chants.... The deep and mysterious song that once echoed through the DCWL halls, has been replaced with a harmony of soprano female singers... a sound so pure that it sends chills down your spine. This harmony is then followed by a electronic techno beat, which happens to blend perfectly with the sounds. A blinding white light shines from behind the backstage. This light is so bright that you can't see the stage area, just the light. The words Metropolitan MEGAstar flash across the screen in a second, followed by words, "The Vindicator".) RM: "I don't like the smell of this, Hollywood." HP: "Yeah ... green fireworks always seem to have that monkey crap stink to them, dammit." (Various profile shots of the Vindicator are shown, as fresh scenes from the Vindicator's latest wins are shown. Trademark grins and smirks on the face of the Vindicator are shown on the screen as well. After a long and dramatic intro, a black silhouette appears in the entrance way. The figure emerges from the light, revealing that it is the 6'4, 275lb chiselled champion himself. The Vindicator is sporting a slightly new look as well. His long, wavy, and dark brown hair has a few light streaks through it. He is dressed in black jeans and a zebra-striped sleeveless shirt. The only thing more securely fastened to the Vindicator is the huge ear to ear smile tattooed on his face. He holds his two hands in the air and then joins them to make the famous or infamous 'V' symbol in the air. Making his way down the aisle and around the ring, The Vindicator stops at the broadcast table, and scoops up the DCWL Grand Championship! Many fans are jeering the move, as Vindy then straps the title around his waist, and hops on the apron, and then flips over the ropes into a flex for the crowd!) PA: "And now, introducing the challenger ... from Grand Rapids, Minnesota ... weighing in at 248 pounds ... here is DAAAAAALE 'THE MIRROOOOOOOOR' STAAAAAAAANWYCZ!!!" (The Fleet Center is yet again filled by the sounds of Saliva's "Superstar", as the fans rise to their feet a third time for Dale Stanwycz! However, the Stanwycz that emerges from the backstage area looks absolutely enfuriated, clearly from the indentity of the guest referee. Shaking his head at the sight of The Vindicator in his striped shirt with the Grand Championship around his waist, Stanwycz stops in his tracks, fists tightly clenched. Looking around at his cheering fans, one of Dale's eyebrows lifts, before he raises a hand, holding up one finger as a gesture to "hold on". Suddenly, The Mirror turns around and disappears into the backstage area!) HP: "HA! Stanwycz is quitting before the match even begins! He's just too damn tired, and he knows he can't beat Tawny Blake twice in a row! I love it! HA HAAA!!!" RM: "I really don't think that's what The Mirror has in mind, Hollywood." (Suddenly, the crowd explodes again, as Dale Stanwycz re-appears into the Fleet Center, pulling DCWL Commissioner KrackerJak behind him! Kracker is clearly not approving of this forced appearance, as one hand is clinging to a half-eaten Twinkie, while the other is holding a rolled up hooters magazine!) RM: "The Mirror is dragging Commissioner KrackerJak to the ring to keep an eye on The Vindicator's job as a referee!" HP: "Great ... then we'll have four incompetent eyes handling things!" (Stanwycz and KrackerJak approach ringside, as Vindy looks on with a careless expression, far more interested in the title belt around his waist. The Mirror sets up a steel chair, and motions for the Commissioner to take a seat, which he begrudgingly does. Stanwycz climbs the ring steps and enters the ring, glaring with distrust at The Vindicator.) PA: "And his opponent ... hailing from Manhattan, New York ... and weighing 129 pounds ... here is the DCWL Grand Champion ... TAAAAAAAAWNY BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!" (Christina Aguilera's "Fighter" blasts overhead once again, and Tawny Blake emerges from the backstage area limping, with her left leg heavily taped around the knee. Her face reveals a great deal of pain, and also shared anger over the appearance of The Vindicator as referee, on top of the fact that he wears her Championship belt in the middle of the ring. She rolls under the bottom rope, and pulls herself up to her feet slowly with the ropes. Vindy laughs at the sight of Tawny, and then calls for the bell.) **DING DING DING** Tawny Blake remains close to the ropes, as Stanwycz moves to center ring, looking to lock up with the Champion. The Vindicator shouts at her to leave the ropes, and she responds by giving him the finger! Suddenly, Stanwycz grabs her outstretched arm, and whips Tawny towards the opposite ropes! Dale follows in closely behind, and as Tawny hits the ropes, Dale nails her with a stiff clothesline, sending the Champ over the top rope to the floor! RM: "The Mirror is taking an aggressive approach to this final match! Tawny Blake is definitely the weaker of the two, and Stanwycz wants to pounce and become the new Champion!" Dale follows her out to the floor, and immediately grabs the taped leg of Tawny, but is quickly greeted by a thumb to the eye! Stanwycz staggers back, as Tawny crawls the other direction, while wincing in pain from her fall to the concrete. HP: "It takes a tough broad to hit the ground like that, and come right back to poke your damn eye out, though, Manning! Tawny ain't gonna let this one go without a monkey humping fight!" Tawny drags herself back into the ring, while Stanwycz climbs up to the apron, and as he steps through the ropes, Tawny makes a mad dash towards him, dropping down into a baseball slide, and nailing Dale in the one ankle still on the apron, which sends him flipping back into the ring, landing on his head! Tawny quickly unwraps a portion of her leg, and then whips it around the throat of Dale, choking him out with it! RM: "Hey! That's not right! The tape around Tawny Blake's leg should only be there to prevent further injury, not to be a weapon against her opponent!" HP: "Shut the hell up, Manning! It's a brilliant move!" Suddenly, The Vindicator moves in on them, grasping two handfuls of Tawny's hair, and tossing her into the middle of the ring, leaving her stunned from the impact of the powerful throw! HP: "What the hell was that?! The Vindicator has no business attacking the Champion, dammit!" RM: "I think he was just trying to break up that illegal chokehold, Hollywood!" Vindy stands over the dazed Stanwycz, but then backs off into a corner, allowing the match to continue. Tawny shakes off her cobwebs, and immediately looks up at Vindy with piercingly hateful eyes. She rises up to her feet, and begins to make a move towards him, when she is tripped up by the felled Stanwycz! Dale quickly grasps her ankle, rising up into an anklelock submission on Tawny's bad leg, making her scream out in pain! RM: "This could be it, Hollywood! Tawny Blake tapped out to finish the second match, and now she's trapped in a similar situation!" The Vindicator grins to himself, and instead of asking for a submission, Vindy begins polishing the gold on the title belt around his waist! Stanwycz looks up at Vindy, and screams out, "ASK HER, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Vindy looks up at Stanwycz with a sneer, and suddenly charges forward, nailing him with a boot to the face, breaking up the anklelock on Tawny Blake! HP: "YES! Here's your chance, Tawny! Pin that humanoid-loving monkey humper, and let's go celebrate at the nearest cheap hotel! HA!" RM: "The Vindicator is a crooked referee, Hollywood! KrackerJak needs to step in and replace him immediately!" The camera cuts to ringside, where KrackerJak is slumped down in the steel chair, fast asleep with Twinkie crumbs on his chest! Back in the ring, Tawny is rolling on the canvas in pain, holding her leg tenderly, while Dale is laid out on the canvas, Tawny slowly begins crawling towards her foe, as The Vindicator looks on with a smirk. She drapes an arm over Dale's chest, and The Vindicator quickly drops to the canvas, lifts one arm into the air, and then begins doing one-armed push-ups! HP: "What an ass-face! Count the damn pin and let the Wookie win! Err, let the woman win ... sorry." RM: "I think The Vindicator is trying to keep this match going on for as long as possible! He wants these two to completely destroy each other all night long!" Tawny looks up at Vindy again, just as Dale Stanwycz kicks out of the pinfall attempt! The Vindicator quits doing his push-ups, and as he looks up with a grin on his face, he's met with a flurry of double punches! RM: "Dale Stanwycz and Tawny Blake have had enough! They're double teaming The Vindicator!" HP: "Shoulda been their first damn move! Get this idiot out of the ring, dammit!" Dale and Tawny yank the stunned Vindy up to his feet, and then whip him into the ropes. On the rebound, they deliver a double clothesline, taking Vindy down to the canvas! Tawny Blake slowly moves towards the corner, climbing up to the top rope, as Stanwycz lays into Vindy with a series of stomps! Suddenly he moves towards the corner, and throws Tawny off of the top rope, where she crashes onto Vindy, as they execute a perfect Rocket Launcher on him! HP: "Dammit ... it almost seems like they expected something crappy like this happening! They didn't even talk about that double team move, Manning!" RM: "With The Vindicator not scheduled for a match on Demented Quest II, they must have anticipated him being one of the referees!" Stanwycz yanks a completely dazed Vindicator, and whips him into the ropes. On the rebound, Tawny and Dale catch him in a double hip toss, sending him soaring over the top rope, and crashing down onto the concrete floor below! The crowd ERUPTS into wild cheers for the double team, as Tawny and Dale turn to look at each other, both smiling. Suddenly, Tawny lashes out with a low blow kick, nailing Stanwycz squarely between the legs, and immediately dropping him to the canvas! HP: "YES! Tawny Blake is freaking brilliant, Manning! She used Stanwycz for what he was worth to get rid of The Vindicator, and now she's going to finish off this monkey humper and go home with Ol' Panzerotti! HA!" Tawny runs into the ropes, and comes back with a leaping elbow drop, nailing Dale in the back of the neck, and flattening him out on the mat. Tawny is grasping her damaged leg again, but she struggles to her feet, and begins her trek towards the corner. As she slowly climbs the turnbuckles, all eyes begin turning towards the entranceway, where Johnny Detson has appeared at the top of the aisle! RM: "Unbelievable! Johnny Detson must have been watching backstage, and he must have been sent back out here to continue this match as the referee!" HP: "It sure as hell wasn't by KrackerJak, though ... that ass goblin is still snoring away out here on the floor, dammit!" Stanwycz is slowly rising to his feet, as Tawny leaps from the top rope, diving towards him with a flying cross body block! She lands it perfectly, but Stanwycz uses the momentum to roll it over, and hooks a leg for the pin! Detson slides into the ring, and makes the count: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . . . . . KICKOUT BY TAWNY BLAKE! RM: "Now we've got a REAL match on our hands, Hollywood!" Stanwycz rolls away from Tawny, and rises up slowly, showing his own exhaustion, while Tawny limps up as well. She moves in on Dale, going for a kick to the gut, but Dale catches the foot, only to have the block countered with a enzugiri kick, nailing Dale sharply in the back of the head with smacking sound, as he drops face-first to the canvas, landing with a thud! HP: "Remember, Manning, it was in that first match that Tawny was working on Dale's damn neck!" RM: "Indeed! The Mirror could be ripe for the pickings now!" Tawny struggles up to her feet, and then runs towards the ropes, leaping straight into them with agility, and springboarding off into moonsault legdrop, which lands right on the back of Dale's neck again! She rolls him over onto his back, hooking a leg for the pin! Johnny Detson again drops into position, and counts the fall: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . . . . . . THRE SHOULDER UP BY DALE STANWYCZ!!! RM: "Two and seven-eigths! Tawny Blake was a millisecond away from walking away with her Grand Championship reign still intact!" Tawny slams her fists into the canvas, but quickly begins rising up again, and limping back towards one of the corners again. Tawny slowly climbs up to the top turnbuckle, waiting for Dale to be in just the right position. Stanwycz begins stirring on the canvas, and slowly begins rising up from his felled state. Dale just reaches a vertical base, when Tawny leaps off the top rope for a hurricanrana! She lands perfectly with her legs wrapped around Dale's neck, when he suddenly begins running forwards, heading straight for the turnbuckles she leapt from. Dale throws her body downwards, smashing her back upon the top turnbuckle, making Tawny's head snap back and crack against the ring post! HP: "HOLY CRAP! What a freaking counter! DAMMIT!" Stanwycz yanks Tawny's body out of the corner, and then spins around into a sit-out powerbomb, holding the position for the pinfall! Johnny Detson drops into position: ONE . . . . TWO . . . . . . . . . THREE!!! **DING DING DING** PA: "Here is your winner ... and NEEEEEEEW DCWL GRAND CHAMPION! DAAAAAAAAALE 'THE MIRROOOOOOOOR' STAAAAAAAAAAAAANWYCZ!!!!!" (The crowd erupts louder than ever before on this evening, as the fans celebrate the clean victory for Dale Stanwycz! An exhausted smile passes across Dale's lips, as Johnny Detson raises his arm in a token of the biggest victory in his DCWL career! Tears are welling up in his often-psychotic eyes, as the fans are offering him a standing ovation for this monumental effort!) RM: "HE'S DONE IT! Dale Stanwycz is the DCWL Grand Champion at long last! And he had to defeat Tawny Blake in two consecutive matches in order to accomplish this feat! The Mirror has overcome all the odds in the world, and now is the world's greatest wrestler by virtue of the DCWL Grand Championship!" HP: "I gotta hand it to his stupid ass, that double powerbomb counter woulda kept anyone in this building for a three-count ... except Ol' Panzerotti, of course." RM: "Well, that just about wraps things up for us here at the Fleet Center in Boston! Thank you for ... hey, wait a second! The Vindicator is re-entering the ring!" (With the DCWL Grand Championship belt off of his waist and in his hands, The Vindicator is climbing back into the ring, behind the back of the new Champion! Suddenly, the crowd erupts, as Crimestarter Jim hauls out from the backstage area, and darts into the ring!) RM: "The Vindicator cost Crimestarter Jim his match against Naoki Yoneyama earlier tonight, and he's not going to let him spoil Dale's moment too!" (Crimestarter spins Stanwycz around to face The Vindicator, and The Mirror immediately brings up his exhausted fists to defend himself! However, The Vindicator backs off, and instead of trying to attack, he holds out the Grand Championship belt to Dale, offering it to the new Champion!) HP: "BAH! This is turning into a lame-ass softie moment! I can't freaking take it!" (Stanwycz moves in suspiciously towards The Vindicator, before snatching the title belt out of his hands! Vindy shrugs and smiles, before backing away some more, as Stanwycz raises the title belt into the air for another big cheer!) *! THWACK !* (Suddenly, Dale Stanwycz crumbles to the canvas, as Crimestarter Jim stands over him with a steel chair in his hands!) RM: "NO! It can't be! IT CAN'T BE!" (The Vindicator looks up at Crimestarter Jim, and wide smiles suddenly creep upon their faces! Crimestarter drops the chair, and joins with The Vindicator in stomping on the new Grand Champion!) HP: "HA HAAA!!! It was a setup! That idiot Stanwycz was expecting The Vindicator to attack him, when all along it was Crimestarter Jim getting ready to lower the freaking boom! HA!" (Crimestarter Jim yanks the over-exhausted Stanwycz up to his knees, where The Vindicator begins laying in with a flurry of punches to the face! Both are laughing at the attack, when suddenly, Johnny Detson darts back into the ring, and scoops up the chair dropped by Stanwycz! The crowd is cheering as Detson raises the chair and chargest threateningly towards The Vindicator!) *! THWACK !* (However, he turns at the last second, and plasters Stanwycz directly in the face with the chair! The crowd is rising up in wild jeers, as Crimestarter lets Stanwycz fall to the canvas, and The Vindicator grabs the arms of Jim and Detson, raising them into the air!) RM: "MY GOSH! It's a conspiracy, Hollywood! Johnny Detson, Crimestarter Jim, and The Vindicator are all working together! I think we're witnessing the birth of a new faction in the DCWL!" HP: "And not a damn moment too soon! Elemental Disturbance is all but dead now after The Capitol's death, the unmasking of Jack Ketch, and Tawny's loss of the Grand Championship! HA!" (The Vindicator drops the arms of his newfound friends, and turns his attention towards the defeated form of Tawny Blake. Vindy points down at her, which makes Detson and Crimestarter move into action, yanking her up to her knees just as was done to Stanwycz moments ago. The back of Tawny's head is a bloody mess from the earlier ringpost powerbomb, and can barely hold her eyes open as The Vindicator spits into his hand, and slaps her across the face with offensive force!) RM: "Crimestarter Jim has duped us all! He said he had changed, when in truth, he was just waiting for the biggest stage of all to show his true colors!" HP: "You idiot, Manning. If he had intended to show any different colors, he would have changed his freaking name! He's a CRIMESTARTER, you monkey humping miniature beefstick!" (Jim and Detson toss Tawny's body down, and once again share in a three-way arm raising celebration with Vindy, to another riotous chorus of boos from the fans.) RM: "What a terrible way to spoil one of the greatest displays of sportsmanship in the history of the DCWL! Folks, we are completely out of time, and must sign off the air now. Thank you for joining us for Demented Quest II, and after all this, you KNOW you won't want to miss the next episode of Total Dementia!" HP: "You're nothing but a freaking shill." RM: "What was that?" HP: "I said you're a monkey humper, Manning." RM: "Ah, okay ... good night, everyone!" (Camera fades out, as The Vindicator, Johnny Detson, and Crimestarter Jim all stand over the bodies of Tawny Blake and Dale Stanwycz, to a continuously loud shower of jeers.) © 2003 - Demented Creations, Inc.