(Fade in, to the middle of a seemingly endless body of water.  The wind
creates small waves in the water, rippling the reflection of the sun on
its surface.  The whole scene has a feeling of genuine calm.  Almost
too calm.)

TONIGHT, CHANGE IS IN THE AIR.

(The water begins to stir in one area, clearly taking the shape of a
large square just beneath the surface, as the water ripples almost as
if there is a rumbling taking place underneath.)

AT LONG LAST, THE ARK SETS SAIL AGAIN.

(Very slowly, a DCWL wrestling ring begins to emerge from the water,
covered in seaweed and looking like it rose from the bottom of the
ocean!)

THE APOCALYPSE WILL LEAVE ONE STANDING...

(The camera begins to pull away, leaving the aged water-ring slowly in
the distance.)

AND 29 OTHERS FIGHTING TO KEEP THEIR HEADS ABOVE WATER!

(The ring begins to fade into the foggy distance, as the camera
continues to zoom out, before slowly fading to black.)




~~~~~~~~~~ D ~~~~~ C ~~~~~ W ~~~~~ L ~~~~~~~~~~

DCWL SUPERCARD EXTRAVAGANZA

ARK OF APOCALYPSE 

MAY 30th, 2004

LIVE FROM THE ICE PALACE
IN TAMPA, FLORIDA

~~~~~~~~~~ D ~~~~~ C ~~~~~ W ~~~~~ L ~~~~~~~~~~


(Cameras fade into the popular Tampa arena, where over 20,000 fans have
packed the Ice Palace to its full capacity!  At the top of the
entranceway, a series of multi-colored fireworks blaze up into the air,
bringing the crowd to its feet!  Fans are wildly screaming to celebrate
the beginning of the Supercard Extravaganza, and desperately waving
their signs for the camera to pick up as it scans through the crowd...)

[ LIGHTNING RULES, FLAMES DROOL! ]

[ ELITE PLAYERS CLUB - R.I.P. 2004 ]

[ HOLLYWOOD PANZEROTTI IS THE FATHER OF MY BABY! ]

[ BRING BACK THE PLUNDERDOME! ]

[ EPC 4 LIFE - CUZ 'CLASSIC' ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH! ]

[ DONTRE NERO ATE MY SAMMICH!  YOU BASTARD! ]

[ AOA IS A PALENDROME!!! ]

[ CAUTION : APOCALYPSE MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH! ]

(The camera begins to pull away from the ecstatic fans, and begins
fading down to the ringside area, to an Apocalypse-Themed broadcast
table, with post-nuke decorations to make the table look especially
grungy.  Rich Manning sits in a black DCWL sports coat over a green
turtleneck, with his short brown hair properly combed and his face
clean cut.  Hollywood Panzerotti is taking the theme to another level
with his long curly hair hidden beneath a Riot Gear Helmet, and a
camouflage-colored leather jacket, under which his bushy chest hair
springs into view.  Manning is nearly hopping up and down in his seat,
as he begins to speak.)

RM:  "WELCOME!  THE ARK OF APOCALYPSE IS BOARDING!  Folks, you are in
for one of the greatest nights of action in the history of modern
sport!  Tonight, the DCWL presents four matches of gargantuan
importance, topped off by the 30-competitor Apocalypse Match!  And if
that weren't enough, one of the greatest feuds in all of wrestling
history comes to a head tonight, as Skye Ashner meets The Vindicator
inside of a Steel Cage!"

HP:  "Are you freaking SERIOUS?!  Way to set the damn bar, Manning. 
The greatest night in the history of modern sport?!  Hell, to say that
in Tampa, where their hockey team is in the middle of the Stanley Cup
Finals?!  Damn, your monkey humptiness never ceases to amaze me."

RM:  "Can't a man be excited about a history-making night of sports
entertainment, Hollywood?"

HP:  "Never mind, Manning.  Just hype your ass up like a bowl of cool
whip, dammit."

RM:  "Well, we've got a long night ahead of us, so let's not waste
another minute ... let's hit the ring for our first match of the
night!"


**DING DING DING**

PA:  "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the
DCWL Tag Team Championships!  Introducing first, the challengers..."

(All of the lights cut out, blanketing the arena in total darkness. The
intro to Creed's "What If" begins to flow over the crowd, a guitar and
a bass playing counterpoint to each other, causing the fans to go into
a frenzy. The music builds, with both instruments building in volume,
until a short drum roll and a sharp guitar lick suddenly break the
steady rhythmic tide.) 

# I can't find the rhyme in all my reason #
# Lost sense of time and all seasons #
# Feel I've been beaten down #
# By the words of men who have no grounds # 

(Heavy, percussive guitar chords grind methodically over the arena's
sound system, as blindingly bright silver and white fireworks explode
around the entrance. The smoke fades, and a soft silvery blue light
fills the arena, revealing the muscular form of Mark Haley standing on
the stage and sparking a huge roar from his thousands of fans. His head
is down, arms down and out to his sides, and he wears a white towel
over his head. Beside him, is his tag team partner, and girlfriend,
Evelynn, who poses atthe top of the ramp, looking out, with her palms
skyward, her right knee turned in, and her heel slightly off of the
ground.) 

# Can't sleep beneath the trees of wisdom #
# When your axe has cut the roots that feed them #
# Forked tongues in bitter mouths #
# Can drive a man to bleed from inside out # 

(Mark Haley is an athletic, muscular man, six and a half feet tall, his
body the product of a single-minded pursuit of physical perfection.
Despite the hardness of his facial features, there is a shadowy
handsomeness to him, punctuated by his strong, clean-shaven jaw. He
wears black wrestling tights, made out of some kind of shiny,
leather-like material that reflects the blue-silver light, along with
black boots and fingerless gloves. His torso is covered by a black
T-shirt with an image of the sun's corona on the front; over that, he
wears a black leather duster that comes down to mid-calf. He also wears
a pair of his trademark thin black sunglasses, and carries his black
metal bo staff in his right hand. The towel on his head is draped over
his hair and shoulders, masking his face in shadows from the already
low lights.

Evelynn is a very attractive and muscular young Caucasian woman.
Usually her skin carries a nice tan. The only thing marring her skin is
a small tattoo of the Eye of Horus centred on the back of her left
shoulder.  Her brown hair hangs loose down to her hips, although she
normally places it in a ponytail or a braid. Her eyes are only a
slightly darker shade of brown than her hair. She wears a navy blue,
skin-tight catsuit that stretches from ankles to half-way up her
neck.  Along the outsides of her arms and legs are cut-out circles
ringed with a dark shade of yellow.  There is a similar, slightly
larger cut-out on the front of the suit, above her breasts.)

# What if you did? #
# What if you lied? # 

(As the crowd continues to cheer for Mark and Eve, they simply soak in
the reaction, slowly looking from side to side, their gaze drifting
from one end of the arena to the other.) 

# What if I avenge? #
# What if eye for an eye? # 

(Suddenly, in one quick, fluid motion, Mark reaches up and tugs the
towel down and off, whipping his head back violently. The swift
movement
reveals his face, stony and stoic, as well as his long, wavy mane, once
bright and blond, now jet black. He looks from side to side again,
quickly this time, sending his dark hair flying from shoulder to
shoulder. Evelynn fakes surprise, before laying a kiss on his cheeck.) 

PA: "Hailing from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 252 pounds...
here is MARK HAAAAAAAAALEEEEEEEEEY!!! ... and ... from Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania ... standing 5-feet-8-inches, and weighing 139 pounds ...
here is EEEEEEVELYN!!!"

(After gazing around the arena for a few moments longer, looking over
the cheering fans, a small smirk comes to Haley's lips. He raises both
arms in acknowledgement of them, and then violently brings them back
down, setting off another group of silver and white fireworks all
around both he and Evlynn.)

# I've seen the wicked fruit of your vine #
# Destroy the man who lacks a strong mind #
# Human pride sings a vengeful song #
# Inspired by the times you've been walked on # 

(Haley stalks down the length of the ramp, his dark brown eyes narrow
and cold behind his sunglasses. He doesn't even seem to acknowledge the
fans on the way down, not even giving them a single high-five; however,
as Mark nears the bottom of the ramp, he roughly flings the towel into
the audience, showing that they aren't completely forgotten... just
secondary, right now, as his focus is directed elsewhere. Meanwhile,
Evelynnn acts the complete oppisite, waving too all fans as she walks
behind Mark.) 

# My stage is shared by many millions #
# Who lift their hands up high because they feel this #
# We are one, we are strong #
# The more you hold us down, the more we press on # 

(As Haley slides under the ring ropes and heads for the nearest
turnbuckle, Evelynn rolls into the ring, and starts blowing kisses to
all the crowd. Haley climbs the turnbuckle quickly, and whips his head
back, sending his hair flying as he throws his right arm up into the
air, drawing another loud cheer from the crowd.) 

# What if you did? #
# What if you lied? #
# What if I avenge? #
# What if eye for an eye? # 

(As the thick, almost industrial guitar break begins, he removes
his duster in a flowing, circular motion, and tosses it out of the
ring. The T-shirt is next to come off, drawing some high-pitched cheers
from the DCWL's female fans, and it too is thrown out of the ring with
the duster. Both the duster and shirt are retrieved by the ring crew as
the lights come back up and the music fades.)

HP:  "Rich, are you still awake?"

RM:  "Yes Hollywood, I'm still here. I wouldn't be complaining, since I
heard you could make love to a women twice before Maerk Haley and
Evlynn had made it into the ring."

HP:  "Huh? What? Who told you that?"

(As the screen lights up 'EPC', the boos begin to pour down from the
rafters to the floor.  Three rotating profiles are shown on the video
screen, one of Johnny Detson, one of Crimestarter Jim, and one of the
Vindicator.  The video screen then shows shaking hands with the three
and joining the group, followed by a profile shot of Guido.  Vindy,
CSJ, and Detson are each dressed in suits and standing side by side at
the entrance.)

HP:  "HA! Now here's an entrance everyone can enjoy."

("Killing in the name of" by Rage against the machine begins to play
throughout the arena to a deafening heel pop. Then, from behind the
curtain, walks out Crimestarter Jim and Johnny Detson.

Crimestarter Jim is a tall muscular man. Jim always makes sure he has
a good tan. He has bleached blond curly hair that goes down just past
his shoulders. He has a tattoo of himself on his left bicep and a
tattoo of what appears to be a world title on his left forearm. Jim
comes down to the ring in a black t-shirt with the words “Crimestarter
Jim” in red on the front and the letters appear to be dripping in blood
with a bullseye layered underneath the words. On the back it reads “If
your not with me, your against me”. Jim also wears a pair of black
athletic tear away pants with a red stripe down each leg along with his
black and red wrestling boots to the ring. Underneath the pants he
wears a pair of black wrestling trunks with the words “Legend” across
the butt in red.Drapped aross his shoulder is one of the DCWL Tag title
belts.

Detson is a typical actor type. White, well built, blonde hair that's
always in place, blue eyes, and very good looking. Detson knows how
good he looks and it shows with his appearance. Detson wears a pair of
stunning long golden trunks with a pair of black boots. As always, he
wears a pair of dark shades. Wrapped around Detson's waist is the other
DCWL tag title. Detson rubs it with his hand, boasting to the crowd
about his achievement.

Jim and Johnny walk down the ramp taunting the fans, who in turn try
and boo them out of the arena.)

PA: "Arriving first ... the DCWL Tag team champions ... from Hollywood,
California ... at six foot three inches and 248 pounds ... JOOOHHNNYYYY
DEEETTSSOOONNN!!! ... and ... his partner ... from Santa Monica,
California ... at six feet five inches and 286 pounds ... C ... S ... J
.... CCRRRIIIMMEEESTARTER JJIIIMMM!"

(The announcement is met with more booing, and fans throwing debris
into the ring, but the EPC members shurg that off, as they both
casually roll into the ring, and adjust their ring gear, as the referee
takes their title belts, and holds them high into the air, for all to
see.)

RM:  "Everything looks set ... the referee is signalling for the match
to start."

HP:  "Prepare to have your ass handed to you, Haley. HA!"

**DING DING DING**

All four competitors are in the ring,
with eyes locked on their opponents.
Haley points at Johnny Detson,
who hides behind Crimestarter Jim,
and teasingly bounces back and forth,
daring Haley to make a move.
Evelynn holds back Haley from doing anything foolish,
pulling him back into their corner,
whispering some final words into his ear,
before slipping back out of the ring and onto the apron.
Looking on with smug grins on their faces,
Detson and Jim hold their thumbs to their foreheads,
motioning that Evelynn has Mark Haley under her thumb.
Detson then exits the ring, and walks down the ring steps,
to stand beside the Equalizer and Guido Milano.

RM:  "Look at all the backup Johnny Detson and Crimestarter Jim have
out here!  This is ridiculous!"

HP:  "Hey, we all know how much of a cheater Haley is, dammit!  I mean,
he cost The Vindicator the Platinum Championship against that idiot
hick, Matt Cole!"

CSJ motions to Haley for a lock-up, and the LA-native obliges.
They quickly lock-up, without any hesitation,
but Jim knees Haley in the stomach, catching him off guard,
and slips behind Haley, locking on a rear Waistlock.
Rolling his eyes, Haley grabs both wrists of CSJ,
and twists out of the waist lock,
before reaching under and grabbing Jim's head,
then slinging him over with a Snapmare takedown,
linking up by slipping his arms under CSJ's,
into a Full Nelson-but Jim is wary of any attempt,
and wriggles his way to the ropes,
making the referee force Haley to let go.

RM:  "Mark Haley has shown us that he can hit the Total Eclipse out of
nowhere, so Crimestarter Jim is wise to have scouted the move."

Jimbo slowly rises to his feet,
and shakes off the dust that has accumulated on his attire.
He turns to Detson, who is laughing at Crimestarter,
along with the Equalizer and Guido.
Haley stands on the other side of the ring,
smiling at CSJ, slapping one hand upon the other,
which catches Jim's attention,
as he motions that Jim will tap out to the Total Eclipse.
Haley turns, and tags in Evelynn,
who jumps the top rope as she enters the ring.
Suddenly, Detson rushes up the steps,
and slaps CSJ on the back, tagging himself into the match.
Evelynn shrugs her shoulders, as she shuffles from side to side,
watching an annoyed Crimestarter Jim leave the ring.

HP:  "Yeah, you keep shuffling for Ol' Panzerotti, Evelynn ..."

RM:  "C'mon, Hollywood!  This is the DCWL Tag Team Championships, not
some Tampa Bay Hooters location!"

HP:  "Hey, I just call 'em as I see 'em, Manning ... and I see boobies
jiggling!  WOO!"

Evelynn and Detson circle each other,
before reaching and locking up.
Detson spins out to the side of Evelynn,
locking a side headlock onto the vixen.
Adjusting his feet, Detson take Evelynn to the mat,
with a modified Hiptoss,
but the nimble Evelynn rolls through the attack,
and quickly grabs Detson by both wrists,
before planting both feet onto his chest, and rolling backwards,
tossing Detson across the ring with a Monkey Flip.
But Detson lands nimbly on his feet,
and spins around, just as Evelynn kicks back up,
giving him enough time to pull her into an Irish whip.
Evelynn bounces off the ropes,
but before she can orientate herself,
she knocked to the canvas with a back elbow to the head by Detson

Detson stands back up, pulling Evelynn up by her long hair.
He twists Eve’s right arm around,
causing her to cringe slightly in pain.
Haley screams at Detson to fight like man,
Which causes the EPC veteran looks across cautiously,
and walks to his corner, pulling Evelynn along,
by the arm and he tag CSJ in.
Jimbo enters and lands a quick boot to the gut,
and Detson releases his hold of Evelynn’s arm,
and steps out to the ring apron.
CSJ pulls Evelynn into a front face lock,
and lifts her into the air, but Eve wiggles free,
and lands on her feet behind the ex-WWA Champion.
Quickly, she leaps up into the air,
thrusting out her legs, drop kicking CSJ in the back,
and pushing him into the ropes chest first.
Jim rebounds backwards, allowing Evelynn to reach between his legs,
and pulls down CSJ downwards, with a School Boy Cradle:

ONE
..

..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

KICKOUT!

RM:  "Evelynn almost stole the match, and the titles from EPC, in one
swift action."

HP:  "Bah! You have to do more than that to defeat the EPC."

Crimestarter scrambles to his feet in shock,
and locks his eyes onto the giggling Evelynn,
who stands in a neutral corner, upon the second turnbuckle.
Quickly, CSJ charges, but Evelynn leaps,
and soars up and over the body of Jim,
before landing, rolling, and jumping to her feet,
and then tagging in a jubilant Mark Haley.
Haley immediately enters the ring, and mocks the out-witted CSJ.
Sneering, CSJ moves across to Haley, and the two lock up once more.
This time, Haley is the one who wins,
and slips behind CSJ, locking on a rear Waistlock.
Determined, Jim grabs an arm of Haley,
and twists out of the waist lock,
locking Haley's arm behind his back with a Hammerlock,
wrenching the arms into the middle of his shoulder blade.
Quickly, Haley uses his right foot to sweep CSJ's legs,
and they fall to the mat. 

HP:  "I don't think anyone is gonna be able to see another hammerlock
in the DCWL without thinking about that stupid monkey humper, King
Karnage!"

RM:  "Hey, George Steele used a flying hammerlock as his finisher for
years, Hollywood!"

Fluidly, Haley applies a side headlock to CSJ, who powers to his feet,
and sends Haley into the ropes with an Atomic Whip.
As Haley returns, Crimestarter lashes out with a clothesline,
but Haley slides under the attack, and through CSJ's legs.
Quickly, he rises up, and slams his forearm into Jim's back,
before locking on a rear Waistlock.
Jim quickly reaches down to grab Haley's arms in a counter,
when Haley suddenly thrusts his arms upwards,
catching Crimestarter in a full nelson!
CSJ quickly begins to panic,
but can't react soon enough, as Haley lifts him upwards,
and then spikes his body backwards,
delivering a full nelson overhead Suplex!

RM:  "TOTAL ECLIPSE!  Crimestarter Jim gets knocked into the middle of
next week, completely out of nowhere!"

Haley maintains a bridging full nelson,
as the referee slides into position, and makes the count:

ONE
..

..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

Johnny Detson charges into the ring,
charging in to break up the pinfall.

..

..

..

but he is cut off by a flying forearm from Evelynn,
knocking him back into his own corner again!

..

..

..

THREE!!!


**DING DING DING**

PA:  "Here are your winners ... and NEEEEEW DCWL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS ...
EVELYNN and MARK HAAAAAALEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!"

(The crowd is briefly silent, disbelieving this quick fall, before they
suddenly EXPLODE into cheers!  Elated beyond description, Mark Haley
jumps up from the fallen CSJ, and rushes straight to a surprised
Evelynn, where the two embrace on the ring apron, celebrating with the
nearby crowd.) 

HP:  "What the hell just happened?!"

RM:  "Mark Haley and Evelynn just became the DCWL Tag Team Champions,
and in record time!"


HP:  "No freaking way!  Did you see how fast that count dropped?!"

(A shocked Crimestarter Jim sits up from the canvas, confused by the
pinfall, before turning his attention to Johnny Detson, who is hanging
his head in shame from the quick loss. Jim then quickly turns his
attention to Guido, looking desperately at the DCWL Commissioner for
some form of intervention, but Guido looks unhappily back at Jim. The
entire crowd cheers, as it means one more nail in the EPC coffin. Haley
and Evelynn are handed the DCWL Tag Team belts by the referee, and they
celebrate by climbing opposite turnbuckles and holding the belts high
into the air, for all the fans to see. Elsewhere, a dejected Johnny
Detson, Crimestarter Jim and Equalizer begin their slow trek back to
the dressing rooms, while Guido paces back and forth outside the ring.)

RM:  "It just goes to show you, folks ... ANYTHING can happen in the
DCWL!  The crowd barely got a chance to get warmed up for this one, let
alone the wrestlers, and it's already over!"

HP:  "BAH!  I bet it's a freaking ploy.  The Elite Players are heading
into the Apocalypse match well rested now, and will easily humiliate
Haley and Evelynn, and reclaim the Tag Team Championships, dammit!"

(Mark Haley moves behind Evelynn, and then hoists her onto his right
shoulder, as she holds both Tag Team Championship belts up in
celebration of their victory!  Suddenly...)

"WAIT! WAIT ONE GOD DAMN MINUTE!"

(Quickly, the camera focuses on a smug-looking Guido Milano, who stands
with microphone in-hand.  Adjusting his tie, the Italian emigrant
shuffles across to the foot of the entrance ramp, catching the
attention of the three Elite Players Club members.)

Guido:  "Come back here boys, I've got something that you might want to
hear."

(Crimestarter Jim, Johnny Detson and the Equalizer all walks to the
foot of the entrance ramp, flanking Guido.)

Guido:  "Being a man of the people, I have decided that we can't have
this match end in less than ten minutes, because it's not best for
those _real_ fans out there. Therefore, with consideration to the theme
of tonight pay-per-view, I will use my power as DCWL's best ever
Commissioner, and change this match into a best-of-three falls, so that
we know that the best _men_ win. Ring that damn bell."

(The camera focuses on an irate Mark Haley, who begins to shower Guido
with abuse, which is only slightly picked up by the microphone. Guido
replies with a wide mouth grin, which only further angers Haley, who
jumps the ropes, spring-boarding from them, and landing on all four EPC
members with a cross-body block!  The referee scrambles to call for the
bell.)


**DING DING DING**

Haley is the first to his feet,
and begins to pummel away on Guido Milano,
with a series of right hands to the face,
of the former DCWL Grand Champion.
Elsewhere, a groggy Equalizer rises to his feet,
fuming at the previous Haley attack.
He pulls both Detson and CSJ to their feet,
before pointing them to the solo Evelynn,
and pushing them both towards her, and they slide into the ring.

RM:  "This is an outrage, Hollywood ... it's an abuse of power ... a
.... travesty."

HP:  "Bite your tongue Bitch Manning, and just enjoy the freaking
match, because I think things are about to heat up for Mark Haley and
that luscious babe, Evelynn."

Inside the ring, Evelynn begins to take on both members of EPC,
one-on-two, knocking them down,
with a series of Martial Arts kicks and strikes.
Outside of the ring, the Equalizer slowly makes his way across,
to a raging Mark Haley, and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE~!
Haley slumps off Guido Milano,
and falls to the floor beside the commissioner.
The Equalizer helps up the bloody Italian,
showing him the action inside the ring,
before turning his attention back to Mark Haley,
who has now risen to be on all fours.

Back to the legal action inside the ring,
Evelynn is still holding both member of the EPC off,
where she turns and rushes to the far ropes,
rebounding and-is tripped over by a bloody Guido Milano,
with a handkerchief up his nose.
The DCWL Vixen falls flat on her face,
allowing both members of the EPC to refocus,
and catch their breath.

HP: "Ha, this is a classic, and not that kabuki fairy style of classic,
I mean real classic. Guido Milano has made things work his way, with
his own pure genius."

RM: "You mean he's cheating, right Hollywood."

HP: "Yes. Did I have to spell that out for you?"

Detson is first to recover,
and quickly moves over to the upright-and-stumbling Evelynn,
whose bottom lip has begin to bleed,
and swell up to look a lot like Courtney Love.
He scoops up the should-be champion, kneels down,
and drops Evelynn shoulder first on his knee,
in a wicked Shoulder Breaker.
Outside of the ring, the Equalizer has Haley over his shoulder,
and rushes towards the steel ring posts
AND TOSSES HIM INTO IT HEAD FIRST~!
Haley slumps to the floor, and immediately,
blood begins to weep from the forehead of Haley.

Satisfied, the Equalizer moves his attention to the action in the ring,
where Crimestarter Jim has now regained his focus,
and has scooped Evelynn up and over his head,
holding her there in the Press Slam.
Detson scales the nearby turnbuckle.
As CSJ drops Evelynn onto the canvas,
Detson leaps off the top rope, and collides with her mid-air,
slamming her into the ground with a sickening spear.
CSJ puts one foot on the chest of Evelynn,
shouting at the referee to get the match over and done:

ONE
..

..

..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

..

But Crimestarter Jim takes his foot off the chest of Evelynn,
and points to Detson to make one more trip up the turnbuckle.
Outside of the ring, The Equalizer is standing over,
a crawling and desperate Mark Haley,
slamming clenched fists down onto the sides of Haley's neck,
knocking the former movie star down to the ground,
and then letting him back up, in a sick game of God.
Inside the ring, Crimestarter picks up Evelynn,
and drapes him over his knee in a backbreaker position,
as Johnny Detson heads to the top rope once more, facing the crowd.
The crowd is loudly jeering, as Detson leaps back with a Senton Bomb,
crashing down onto Evelynn's upper body and head,
crunching his back into Crimestarter's knee!

RM:  "NO!  THE SHOWSTOPPER!  The Elite Players have used the modified
Showstopper, in a brutal double team move!  I'm sorry to say, but it's
all over now, folks."

HP:  "You said it, Manning!  EPC ARE CHAMPIONS, BABY!"

CSJ places his foot back upon the chest of Evelynn,
and again, yells at the referee to get the match over and done with.
The referee reluctantly gets into position, and makes the count:

ONE
..

..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

..

THREE!!!

**DING DING DING**

(Boos and jeers shower the team of Johnny Detson and Crimestarter Jim,
who begin to high-five each other, and motion for Guido and the
Equalizer to join them in the ring. Guido rolls into the ring, and
begins to hug both men, and then high-fiving the Equalizer, as he
finally makes it into the ring, handing the tag team belts to Detson
and Jim. Haley, bloodied and shattered, slides into the ring, and
overlooks a still Evelynn. He looks up at the four members of EPC, and
grits his teeth. Suddenly, his attention is taken elsewhere, as the
referee comes in waving his arms. He leans over the top rope, and
shouts at the previously battered ring announcer. Slowly, Haley and
Evelynn slide out of the ring, as they work out what is about to
happen. Meanwhile, EPC continue to celebrate, oblivious to anything
happening around them.)


PA: "Due to the stipulation, created by DCWL Commissioner Guido Milano,
this match is tied at one fall a piece. The final fall decided who will
be the DCWL Tag Team Champions."

**DING DING DING**

All four EPC members snap out of their celebration,
and spin around to the referee, who shrugs his shoulders,
and mouths that it was their stipulation.
Furious, Guido and the Equalizer storm out of the ring,
as CSJ and Detson look for Haley and Evelynn.
They turn around and...


*!! CCRRAAAAACCKK!!*



Both Evelynn and Haley hit dual Superkicks on Jim and Detson!
Haley covers CSJ, as Evelynn covers Detson,
and the referee drops into position:

ONE          ONE
..            .

..            .

..            .

..            .

..            .

TWO          TWO
..            .

..            .

..            .

..            .

..            .

KICKOUT!     KICKOUT!

RM: "Both men are hit with Superkicks, and both kick out with a
fraction before three. They could have lost this match twice."

HP: "I doubt it, fool. There is some sort of technicality!

Both Haley and Evelynn kick up,
and Haley motions that they should both hit the ropes and attack.
So both Haley and Evelynn rush towards the ropes with speed,
but the Equalizer and Guido are on either side of the ring,
and pull down the top rope.
Haley tumbles over the top rope,
landing at the feet of the Equalizer,
as Evelynn falls to the concrete beside Guido.
The Equalizer raises his foot, over the bloodied face of Mark Haley,
the referee slides out of the ring, and waves his arms about.

HP: "What the freakn' hell?"

RM: "Yes! The referee is ejecting the Equalizer from the match... but
why not Guido?"

HP:  "Possibly because Guido can fire his ass."

RM: "Well, either way, the Equalizer has no option but to leave, or
he'll lose the match for his EPC stable-mates."

As Rich Manning finishes talking,
Crimestarter Jim crawls over to the Equalizer,
and points to backstage apathetically.
Furious, the Equalizer trudges backstage, waving his arms about.
Elsewhere, Guido rolls the fallen Evelynn into the ring,
and shouts at Detson to make the cover.
JD slowly crawls across, and drapes his arms across the neck of
Evelynn.
The referee gets into position, and makes the count:


ONE
..

..

..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

..

THREE-KICKOUT!

RM: "Woah, so close. EPC almost retained the belts."

Detson pulls Evelynn to her feet,
and quickly locks up with the DCWL Vixen.
Cunningly, Detson knees her in the midsection,
and follows it up with an boxer-styled uppercut,
leaving Evelynn staggering around the ring.
Detson going for another uppercut, but Evelynn blocks it.
She cocks back her arm, and lays a hard right hand,
on the face of Detson, backing him into a neutral corner.

Evelynn begins to drive her shoulder into Detson's midsection,
pushing all of the air from the man's lungs.
She pulls him out of the corner and locks on a front facelock,
before snapping him over with a Suplex.
Relentlessly, she pulls Detson up to his feet,
backing him into the ropes, before firing him off with an Irish whip.
Returning, Evelynn lashes out with a clothesline attempt,
only for Detson to duck under, and continue into the opposite ropes.
Rebounding, he leaps at a turning Evelynn,
colliding into her with a flying cross-body block,
but Evelynn rolls through the move,
and holds onto both of Detson's legs,
for the small package pin:

ONE

..

..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

KICKOUT!

Both roll away form each other, and Detson gets to his feet first,
where he quickly kicks Evelynn in the face as he rises from the mat;
her head whiplashing backwards at impact!
As Evelynn checks her mouth, Detson grabs her by the hair,
dragging her to her feet against her will.
Detson locks his arms around the waist of Evelyn,
standing side on to her, and takes her over his shoulder,
driving her into the mat with a callous T-bone Suplex.
He bridges the Suplex, and the referee makes the count:

ONE

..

..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

KICKOUT!

RM:  "Wow, Johnny Detson is not holding back now. He's really putting
in the hard yards."

HP:  [mocking Rich Manning]  "He's giving 110% Going for the extra mile
.... HA! You're a book of Cliches"

Detson pulls Evelynn up again,
but knocks her back on her backside with a looping European Uppercut.
Satisfied, Detson turns and tags in Crimestarter Jim.
As Detson turns back to Evelynn,
he's surprised him with a kick to the midsection,
then taken down with a Spinning Neckbreaker.
As she recovers on the floor, CSJ lays in the boots on Evelynn,
allowing Detson to roll out of the ring,
and be attended by Guido Milano.

CSJ pulls Evelynn to her feet, before whipping her into the far ropes,
dropping to one knee due to the sheer force he sent her.
As the vixen returns, CSJ bends down,
and reaches around the Evelynn's body,
lifting her up, and spinning her face-up.
Quickly, CSJ kneels down and drops Evelynn down back first,
across his knee, with a devastating Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker!
Unsatisfied, CSJ pulls Evelynn to her feet once more,
and applies a front face lock.
He grabs Evelynn's tights and lifts her straight up in the air,
holding her as the blood rushes to her head.
Stepping forward, Jim falls backwards,
completing the Hanging Vertical Suplex.
The ring shudders, with the sheer force of the Suplex,
which leaves Evelynn holding her back in pain.

RM:  "A very tried-and-tested method of attack, Hollywood. CSJ is going
old-school on Evelynn."

HP:  "Hey, you can't say 'old-school'. You're not cool enough."

Content, Jim jumps to his feet,
and tags in a smiling Johnny Detson,
before turning to Evelynn, and pulling her to her feet by her hair.
Locking on a front facelock, CSJ hooks a leg of Evelynn,
and hoists her above his head,
holding her as he hooks the second of Evelynn's legs.
With Evelynn suspended on top of his shoulders firmly,
CSJ drops to his knees, impacting Evelynn's neck on his shoulder,
with a Japanese-styled Muscle Buster.

CSJ legs go of Evelynn, dropping her flat in the middle of the ring.
Detson pats Jim on the back as he retreats to the apron,
before turning his attention to the fallen Evelynn.
Pacing around the still vixen, Detson considers his options.
Suddenly, he snaps, seemingly coming up with an idea.
He grabs one leg of Evelynn's and bends it sideways,
behind one of his own legs, before placing it back,
and on top of Evelynn's other leg, thus forming a "4".
As Detson holds Evelynn's straight leg,
he falls backwards to the mat, completing the Figure Four Leglock.

HP:  "Yes, break that bicthes legs, Johnny. That way she can't run away
from me."

Evelynn suddenly comes to life, as he face lights up with pain.
She looks about, but finds that she is in the middle of the ring,
with nowhere to go and nowhere to hide.
She looks out to Haley, who looks empathetically at her.
She grits her teeth, as does Haley, who begins to cheer her on.
Slowly, Evelynn begins to roll onto her stomach,
trying to reverse the leglock, but Detson holds firm.
The referee drops down in front of Evelynn,
and asks her if she wishes to quit, but is pushed aside,
as Evelynn begins to crawls towards Mark Haley.
Mark cheers her on, as she inches closer and closer.
Detson grits his teeth, trying to stay put,
and giving 110% but Evelynn is gaining momentum,
and ... finally ... tags Haley in,
before collapsing on the mat in pain.
Haley leaps over the top rope,
as Detson scrambles to release the Figure Four!

RM:  "Detson is scared of Mark Haley."

HP:  "BAH! NO he's not. He's just smart enough to know that if you mess
with a mans bitch, that you better run when he find you."

RM:  "Know this from experience?"

HP:  "Ye-NO!"

Quickly, Detson removes the leglock,
and scurries over to Crimestarter Jim,
who ducks under the top rope and rushes towards his opponent,
but Haley side steps the big man, and whips him away.
Coming off the ropes, CSJ rushes at Haley with a clothesline,
and Mark ducks under, but Jim stops,
expecting his attack to be ducked under.
He turns, only to be kicked in the gut,
as Mark sets him up for a Powerbomb,
but Jim lifts him up with his back, flipping over him,
but Haley lands on his feet!
Haley charges, knocking CSJ down,
with a huge running elbow to the base of CSJ's neck,
and immediately goes to work on CSJ,
pounding him with right hands to the back of the head!

HP:  "What a coward! Hitting a man from behind is the cheats’ way of
doing things."

RM:  "You never protested when Crimestarter Jim or Johnny Detson hit
someone from behind."

HP:  "Yeah, but that's different."

RM:  "How?"

HP:  "Because they’re the champions, and they do what they want."

RM:  "Well, if CSJ can't shake Mark Haley off his back, he won't be a
tag champion for much longer."

Satisfied, Haley locks around Jim’s waist,
and uses all of his strength to pull CSJ to his feet,
against the tag champions will.
CSJ struggles for a counter,
but a quick forearm to the back of the head,
from Mark Haley causes Jim to stop struggling about.
Haley lifts him up, and SLAMS him to the mat with a German Suplex,
and holds to bridge:

ONE

..

..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

THREE-DETSON BREAKS UP THE BRIDGE!
KNEEING HALEY BELOW THE BELT WITH A FLYING ELBOW!

RM:  "How could the referee miss that blatant low-blow by Detson?"

HP:  "Maybe it's because he's too focused on that fine booty of
Evelynn?"

Holding his valuables, Haley rolls over to Evelynn,
tagging her in, before rolling out of the ring,
and slumping to the concrete.
Evelynn leap frogs the top rope,
and pulls Jimbo to his feet, but is met with a poke to the eye.
As she staggers about the ring, CSJ stumbles to Johnny Detson,
and tags the WWO legend in.
Johnny Detson springs up to the ropes,
catching Evelynn as he comes in with a dropkick.
Rising again with speed, he is in time to spot Evelynn,
slowly struggling to get back up to her knees.

Johnny Detson again goes for a rebound off the ropes,
and he comes in with kick aimed at Evelynn's head,
but Evelynn suddenly snaps up,
grabbing Johnny Detson's leg and whipping it around,
slamming him knee-first into the mat,
then pulling his leg up for a Half Crab.
Evelynn wrenches on the half crab, as Detson reaches out,
grabbing the pants of the referee.
Trying to pull himself closer to the ropes, but to no avail.
Crimestarter Jim drops from the apron,
and positions himself in front of Detson,
pushing the ropes closer to his team mate.

RM:  "Come one referee. Why can't you see that?"

HP:  "Rich... booty. I tell ya it's da booty."

Detson reaches, and finally grabs the ropes, 
and Jim moves back onto the apron,
as the referee sees Detson holding the rope,
and forces Evelynn to let go of the Half-Crab.
She reluctantly released the hold, and backs off,
allowing Detson to slowly rise to his feet.

Evelynn moves back towards Detson,
but it met with a lightening jab to the mid section,
doubling the WWA Women’s legend over.
Detson grabs her in a belly-to-belly Waistlock,
lifting Evelynn up, before pivoting 180 degrees,
and driving her into the mat back first, with a classic Spinebuster!
Detson pulls Evelynn up to her feet,
and lock her into an inverted facelock,
but Evelynn reaches back and Snapmares Detson to the mat.
With lightening fast reflexes, Evelynn hits a seated dropkick,
to the back of Detson's head, and then grabs his right arm,
and drives his knee into it repeatedly.

Evelynn pulls Detson back to his feet and wrings the arm out,
before driving her elbow into it and sending Detson down to one knee.
Evelynn keeps the arm locked, and then lifts Detson up,
swinging his body in mid-air, into a Canadian back rack!
Detson quickly flips out of it though, landing behind Evelynn.
He quickly drops Evelynn with a dropkick,
to the back of the knee, and then bounces off the ropes.
He runs towards Evelynn, and steps up off her bent knee,
before swinging his free leg around,
and kicking her into the back of the head,
with a devastating Shinning Wizard.
Dazed, Evelynn slumps to the canvas,
allowing Detson to hooks the leg for a cover:

ONE
..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

KICKOUT!

Agitated, Johnny Detson goes for another cover:

ONE
..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

KICKOUT!!

Again, Detson doesn't let up,
and hooks both legs as he covers Evelynn:

ONE
..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

KICKOUT!!

RM:  "I think Johnny Detson is begining to get angry at the fact he
can't finish off Evelynn."

HP:  "Come one Johnny. Show that bitch what ya got."

Detson is just astonished by Evelynn being able to kick out,
and shakes his head as the fans get behind Evelynn.
Johnny Detson again pulls Evelynn up to her feet,
only to allow Evelynn to trip him up with a sweeping kick,
buying herself enough time to reach in a tag into Haley,
who leaps over the top rope, and goes straight for Detson!
They exchange blows back and forth, with neither backing down.

RM:  "Finally, the moment that we have been waiting for."

HP:  "Yes. The chick with the see-through blouse has come back?"

Haley gets the upper hand on the exchange,
and whips Detson into the ropes with velocity.
Detson rebounds off with high speed,
and his face smashes into Haley lunging foot,
knocking Detson to the mat with one sudden movement.
Haley is now on a roll, and whips Detson into the corner,
climbs up to the seconds turnbuckle,
and punches him with devastating right hands,
to the temple of Johnny Detson.
The Crowd shouts:

ONE..

TWO..

THREE..

FOUR..

FIVE..

SIX..

SEVEN..

EIGHT..

NINE..

TEN-OOW!

Detson, blindsided to the referee,
low blows Haley in the most blatant way,
but the referee couldn't see it.

HP:  "HA! Classic move there by Johnny Detson. Haley won't be having
any kids by the end of this match, and that can only be a good thing."

Haley, still on the second rope, but folded over, reels in pain.
Detson pushes the 252 pounds frame of Haley to the mat,
and hoists himself up to the tope rope with little effort.
Without any fanfare, he leaps of the turnbuckle,
flipping in the air, hitting the show-no Haley gets both knees up,
and Detson lands back-first in Haley's knees!
He buckles upon impact, before slumping onto his stomach, motionless.

Haley wastes no time and loops both of his hands,
under Detson's arms and into a Full Nelson.
JD flails his arms about, as Haley pulls him to his feet,
trying to wriggle free of the picture-perfect Full Nelson,
but Haley has the submission hold locked on tightly.
Detson continues thrashing about, knowing that he must break free,
or he is going to fall victim to the Total Eclipse.
Guido realizes this too, and leaps up onto the apron,
trying to grab Haley's hair, only to get knocked back down by Evelynn,
who drives her elbow into the jaw of the Commissioner!

HP:  "NO! Ref, they're cheating."

RM:  "It was fine a minute ago for Detson to cheat."

HP:  "Yeah, but he's cool."

Crimestarter Jim rushes into the ring, heading straight for Evelynn,
and knocks her down with a brutal clothesline!
Just as Haley lifts Detson in the air,
and drives Detson down, face first, into the mat,
with his Total Eclipse Facebuster!
Detson lies in the middle of the ring, motionless,
and Haley turns his attention to CSJ,
who is digging his boots into a fallen Evelynn.
Haley charges across the ring, knocking CSJ in the corner,
before hitting some _STIFF_ elbows and forearms to the face and jaw,
sending CSJ into dream land.
Haley shuffles out of the corner, and CSJ fumbles about,
walking out from the corner along the ropes.
Mark Haley rushes across, and knocks CSJ, and himself, out of the ring,
as he clotheslines the three-time WWA Champion over the top rope,
and they both crash awkwardly into the concrete.

RM:  "Mark Haley is really putting his body on the line for the
championship."

HP:  "Ha! He's just stupid, Manning. Why knock yourself out of the
ring, when you could be pinning the legal man for the win?"

Inside the ring, both Evelynn and Detson begin to stir,
as the referee begins the standing ten-count:

ONE
..
..
..

TWO
..
..
..

THREE
..
Detson rolls onto his stomach...
..

FOUR
..
....and pushes himself onto all fours...
..

FIVE
..
.... finally, Detson gets to his feet,
with blood oozing from his forehead.
 
SIX
..
Suddenly, Evelynn springboards up off the mat,
and the crowd are crazy-go-nuts.
She scurries across to Detson,
slumping on top of his body for the cover:

ONE
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

THREE!!

RM:  "YES-NO! Kick out by Johnny Detson. How on earth did he manage to
kick out?"

HP:  "One word: Creatine."

Evelynn sits up and looks to the sky,
wonder what her and Mark will have to do to win the championship.
Outside of the ring, Haley on his feet, pulling CSJ up,
from the concrete-only for CSJ to hit him with a low-blow!

HP:  "Ha! The referee is still focused on the action inside the ring,
and hasn't seen a thing!"

RM:  "If the match goes down to that _incident_ being the reason why
EPC wins, I.. I.. I don't know what I might do."

HP:  "You could throw a bitch-fit, like usual."

CSJ wraps his large arms around the waist of Haley,
and charges forward, driving Haley's spine into the ring apron,
which is met with a sympathetic groan from the Tampa crowd.
Haley slumps to the concrete, holding his back as he writhes in pain.
CSJ grabs Haley's legs and steps in between them,
before quickly crossing them over,
and stepping across, turning Haley over on his stomach.

RM:  "OH MY! JUDGEMENT DAY SHARPSHOOTER! Crimestarter Jim has that move
locked in, and he has no where to go."

HP:  "Break that little monkey-humper's back, Jimbo. Break it in half.
Ha!"

As Haley claws at the concrete, trying to escape,
CSJ sits down on the back of Haley,
further wrenching the submission hold.
Inside the ring, Detson and Evelynn are trading blows,
in the middle of the ring.
Detson knees Evelynn in the stomach, doubling over the maiden,
and locks on a front facelock,
before scooping her up with his free hand.
Swinging her body around, Detson falls down with a Falcon Arrow-
but Evelynn slips behind Detson, and lands gracefully on her feet,
and Detson slams into the mat butt-first, jarring his spine.
Evelynn sits on Detson's shoulders, and rolls forward,
hooking Johnny's shoulders to the mat, with a modified Victory Roll:

ONE
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

Detson rolls to his left,
reversing the pin, with his own Victory Rolls:

ONE
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

Evelynn kicks out, and in one motion,
hooks both of the legs of Detson.
Flipping over, she pins JD's shoulders to the mat,
and holds them with a bridge:

ONE
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

Detson slips out to the side, and Evelynn falls onto her back.
JD hooks both legs and grabs a handful of her tights:

ONE
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

KICKOUT!

RM:  "Wow, the match almost ened four time in the space of ten seconds,
Hollywood."

HP:  "Which makes you think that the referee is counting fast."

Both competitors rolls away from each other,
and quickly scurry to their feet,
where Detson lunges forward with a flying forearm,
but Evelynn ducks under it,
and kicks Detson in the stomach as he spins back around.
Evelynn reaches out and grabs Detson by the hair,
and drops down, slamming Detson's face into the canvas,
with a desperate X-Factor!

RM:  "MAIDEN'S KISS! EVELYNN HAS NAILED THE MAIDEN'S KISS!"

Hurriedly, she staggers up the turnbuckles, and perches herself there,
as Detson gets to his feet, and sways about the ring.
Evelynn holds her right arm out to the side and her left up in the air.
Flashbulbs go off in greater quantity,
as she Moonsaults off the top turnbuckle,
clotheslines Detson, catching his neck, pulling him into the canvas!

RM: "SSNNAAAPP DDRRAAAGGOOONNN!"

Evelynn holds on, leaving her arm across the chest of Johnny Detson.
The referee slides into position:

HP:  "Jimbo. Where are you?"

ONE
..

..

..

CSJ turns, and sees Detson being pinned,
releasing the Sharpshooter on Mark Haley.

..

..

TWO
..

..

CSJ rushes towards the ring

HP:  "Come on Jim!"

..

..

but is stopped by Haley, who holding onto one leg,
CSJ reaches out, tugging on the leg of the referee,
trying to pull him out of the ring!

..

..

..

THREE!!!

HP:  "NOOOOOO!!!"

**DING DING DING**

PA:  "Here are your winners ... and NEEEEEEEW DCWL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS
.... MARK HAAAAAAAALEY AND EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVELYNN!!!"

(The crowd EXPLODES into wild cheers, the fans rising in unison to
celebrate with the new Champions!  Commissioner Guido Milano stands at
the foot of the entranceway, staring at the fruitless result of his
devious efforts, before he staggers off towards the backstage area.)

RM:  "Revenge is sweetest when it's clean!  Evelynn just pinned Johnny
Detson, and we've got NEW Tag Team Champions!"

(Crimestarter Jim finally enters the ring, just as Evelynn is handed
both of the DCWL Tag belts and scurries from the ring. CSJ grabs Detson
by the collar, and hauls him to his feet, before yelling at him, "What
happened?" But all Detson can do is look at Jim with glazed over eyes
and shrug.)

HP:  "BAH!  Guido should never have re-hired that idiot monkey humper
Mark Haley, dammit!"

(Outside of the ring, Evelynn helps the battered Haley to his feet, and
the two walks around the ring and stop at the foot of the ramp. They
hold the DCWL Tag team title above their heads, which is met with a
thunderous cheer from the crowd, and an even bigger one when they
embrace in a passionate kiss. CSJ and Detson look on, helpless, as the
two love-birds trudge up the ramp, and behind the curtain.)

RM:  "What a way to kick off Ark of Apocalypse!  New Champs, and the
Elite Players Club has suddenly been stripped off all its gold!"

HP:  "SHUT THE HELL UP, MANNING!  It's only temporary, dammit!  Both of
these puke-inducing lovebirds are in the Apocalypse Match, and those
damn Tag Titles will be on the line!  And hell, don't forget that
Vindy's got his shot against Skye Ashner, and inside of a Steel Cage,
that Kabuki fairy bitch ain't got a hope in hell of surviving!"

RM:  "Well, the Elite Players will certainly have an opportunity to
regain some Championship gold tonight, but as of this moment, their
prestige has been stripped away!"

HP:  "BAH!  Wrong again, ya dinkosaurus.  The EPC prestige lies in
their veteran reputation, dammit!  No title belt can hold a candle to
the great careers of Detson, Vindy, CSJ, and Guido the Great!"

RM:  "Anyways, I understand our cameras have caught up with
Commissioner Guido, who is likely not in the best of moods at this
moment.  Let's check it out before we get the next match underway!"

(Just as the EPC members, Crimestarter Jim and Johnny Detson, begins to
walk up the ramp, dejected, the camera cuts backstage, where
Commissioner Guido Milano is holding a bag of ice against the side of
his head, while heading towards a set of double doors marked 
"CATERING".  Clearly, the Commissioner is in need of some comfort food
after the EPC's disappointing loss.  Guido walks through the doors,
licking his lips ... and suddenly stops in his tracks, standing there
in incredulous shock.  His mouth is agape, jaw nearly hitting the
floor.  His eyes are wide open saucers.  Then the camera pans over to
the catering tables ... the now-empty catering tables.)

Guido:  Ma ... MA NO!  DIO MIO!  The show's only been on for twenty 
minutes!  Who could have done such a thing?!

(The tables _are_ empty, scattered crumbs and remnants of the food the 
only thing left.  Just empty trays... plates... a mess really.)

Guido:  I bet it was Naoki and his damned sammiches!  MORTO, IL DICE!

Voice:  *belch*

(Slowly Guido turns his head.  He stares for a minute, his jaw dropping
once more!  The camera pans over to follow his eyes ... and man alive
what a sight.  A behemoth of a man stands there, licking his greasy
fingers one by one.  Though only around six feet tall, the Japanese man
absolutely dwarfs the room, enshrouding it in his bulk.  A black mohawk
crowns his otherwise shaven head, scars litter his body, his arm
covered in criss cross silver scars, a burn mark wrapping around an
elbow and up his tricep.  He wears large sweat pants and an even larger
t-shirt but the giant mound of flesh is one of a kind.  A big... fat...
sweaty... obviously full... Japanese man.)

Guido:  Did YOU eat ALL of that?!

(The man doesn't even bother looking up at him, wiping crumbs off his 
gargantuan chest with a half-smile of bloated content.)

Man:  Mmm-hmmm.

Guido:  ...

(He stands speechless.)

Guido: ALL OF IT?!  YOU ATE EVERYTHING?!

(The man looks up, nodding.)

Man:  Yup.

Guido:  ON YOUR OWN?!

(The big man seems to actually be getting annoyed.)

Man:  Yes.

Guido:  ...

Man:  ...

Guido:  Do you want a job?

(The gargantuan Japanese Jabba-like eyes light up over the offer coming
from Guido's mouth.)

Man:  Eating?!

Guido(stammering):  N...n... no.  Wrestling.

Man:  Oh.

(The man belches again, wiping the spittle from his mouth with a thick 
hand, before shrugging his shoulders.)

Man:  Sure.

Guido:  YOU GOT IT!

(The man looks around, searching.)

Guido:  What's your name anyhow?

(In a thick Japanese accent, tempered by ravenous hunger.)

Man:  Mad Hayashi.

(Guido can't help but smile.)

Guido:  I will get papers for you right away!

(Hayashi looks around.)

MH:  I'm still hungry.  Where's catering?

Guido:  ...

(Chuckling briefly, Guido smiles at the big man, before the realization
sets in that Hayashi is not kidding.  Again, Guido's jaw drops, as he
shakes his head in a stunned disbelief.  Before he staggers back out of
the room like he just saw a ghost.  Cut back to the broadcast table.)

HP:  "Holy crap!  Did you see that thing?!  It looked like a Fatter,
Shorter, more Japanese version of Bedrock, dammit!"

RM:  "And Commissioner Guido has agreed to a verbal contract with this
.... Mad Hayashi.  Come to think of it, what's stop someone from asking
this newcomer to join them in the Apocalypse Match later tonight?!"

HP:  "DAMN!  Who the hell would get that ass over the top rope?!"

RM:  "Folks, let's head back to the ring for our next match of the
night!"


**DING DING DING**

PA:  "The following match is a Tag Team contest, scheduled for one fall
with a 30 minute time limit!  Introducing first..."

(The lights dim and heavy, crunching guitars accompanied by a brutal
blast beat on drums fill the arena. The song is "Breed" by the metal
band, Embodyment. Unexpectedly, throaty, screamed vocals echo over the
crowd.) 

# CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT, # 
# THE TRUTH REMAINS THE SAME... # 

(Cameron Williams enters through the entranceway to a chorus of boos
before stopping and staring up toward the Heavens with outstretched
arms.) 

# I AM BRANDED CHRISTIAN!!! # 

(Behind him, walks out Ryan Abate. They turn and nod to each other and
continue their walk to the ring.) 

#Remaining in my faith, I do not stand alone. #
#Standing by my Father's side, #
#As I watch this world return to Sodom and Gomorrah. #
#I bow down to only one God - Christ who died and arose,# 
#And to see you wallow in your shame and to deny His love and grace? #

PA:  "... from New York City ... and weighing a combined 543 pounds ...
here are RYAN ABAAAAAATE AND CAMEROOOOON WILLIAAAAAAAMS!!!"

(Red and white lights begin to flash around the arena. Cameron Williams
glares over his shoulders, due to his constant paranoia, then begins to
walk, slowly, to the ring. Ever so often, he looks over his shoulders.
He is always turning his head from left to right, staring at each and
every crowd member.) 

#I hate to watch you fall. #
#Pride yourself, unholy one. # 
#Never grasp the throne of God. #
#Receive your fate you prideful pig. #

(As Cameron reaches the ring, he grabs the second rope, and pulls
himself up on the apron. He looks once to his left, and then to his
right, and then crawls through the ropes into the ring. Behind him,
Ryan Abate jumps up on the apron as well and enters the ring.) 

#I will not be deceived! #
#I will not give into your temptations!#
#I am bought by the Blood of Jesus!# 
#The power of Heaven protects me!# 

(Cameron and Ryan make their way to the corner and kneel in front of
each other, obviously praying. Their prayer is suddenly interrupted . .
.. ) 

#WHEN IT'S TIME TO PARTY, WE WILL PARTY HARD!!!# 

(Abate and Williams climb to their feet, and look up the entrance ramp
in fury and annoyance) 

HP: I can’t believe this! It’s rude enough to come back to the DCWL
when nobody was sad to see you go, but to interrupt a solemn moment
like a prayer? That is just plain vile, dammit!

(The heavy guitar cords pound away through the speakers, as a large
majority of fans begin banging their heads along with the music!) 

#HEY!!!# 

(Suddenly out of the arena walkway, appears The Two Dudes. The Dude
With Long Hair and The Dude with Short Hair Pop out, banging their
heads along with the fans! A fiercely loyal and supportive DCWL crowd
Runs to them with High Fives and Beers!!! The Dudes Gladly accept the
beers pounding them with their mouths wide open. Williams and Abate
shake their heads in disgust, muttering about riotous living and moral
decadence.) 

#ALL RIGHT!!!# 
#YOU!# 
#YOU WORK ALL NIGHT# 
#AND WHEN YOU WORK YOU DON'T FEEL ALL RIGHT# 
#BUT WE...# 
#WE CAN'T STOP FEELING ALL RIGHT# 
#AND EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT# 
#CAUSE WE WILL NEVER LISTEN TO YOUR RULES!!# 
#WE WILL NEVER DO WHAT OTHERS DO# 

(As the music continues to play, and the Dude With Short Hair continues
to Pound beers and give High Fives- The Dude with Long Hair pulls out a
microphone from the small of his back.) 

LH: DUUUUUUUUUUUUDESSSSSSS-AH!!!! 

[LOUD POP] 

#WE DO WHAT WE LIKE# 
#WE LIKE WHAT WE DO!!!# 

PA: Their opponents, fresh off the local party circuit, the Dude with
the Long Hair and the Dude with the Short Hair, THE TWO DUUUDDDDESS!

(The Two Dudes Start to run down to the ring together. Abate and
Williams are staring at them with increased agitation As the verse
kicks in, the crowd starts to bang their heads again...) 

#SO LET'S GET A PARTY GOIN'# 
#LET'S GET A PARTY STARTED# 
#NOW IT'S TIME TO PARTY AND WE'LL PARTY HARD# 

(The Crowd pumps their fists in unison in the air.) 

#PARTY HARD!!!# 
#LET'S GET A PARTY GOIN'# 
#LET'S GET A PARTY GOIN'# 
#NOW IT'S TIME TO PARTY AND WE'LL ALWAYS PARTY HARD!!! 
#PARTY HARD!# 
#PARTY HARD!# 
#PARTY HARD!# 
#PARTY HARD!# 

[The Dudes reach the ring, sliding under simultaneously. They each
climb a turnbuckle and throw their hands in the air, then turn and face
their opponents as the pounding music fades out. Cameron is giving Ryan
a sort of "pep talk" which is picked up the nearby cameras.] 

CAMERON: "OK, Ryan. It's time to make the masses remember the power of
Christ and God's ultimate presence everywhere!" 

RYAN: "You bet, Cameron. This won't even be a contest!" 

CAMERON: "And that's exactly why you don't need to tag me in. We need
to save our full power until it is absolutely necessary for the sake of
the advancement of the work of God." 

RYAN: "Yeah, yeah, I think that's the best plan." 

CAMERON: "Good. Now let's do what we came here to do. 'The Lord is my
light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord...'" 

RYAN: "'...is the strength of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid?'" 

CAMERON: "Exactly. Remember that. And remember why we do this. God
bless you, Ryan." 

RYAN: "God bless."

[Suddenly, the lights in the arena shut off. They remain off for close
to thirty seconds.]

HP:  "What the hell?"

RM:  "Folks, I don’t think this has ever happened before. I think the
power is out."

HP:  "Listen stupid, if the damn power is out then the idiots at home
can’t hear you. It’s a perfect opportunity for Hollywood to say how
much he hates your bony asses..."

RM:  "I just got word from our production truck. I guess the power is
still on."

HP:  "Dammit! Then turn the damn lights on, somebody!"

[The arena lights don’t come on, but finally some light comes from the
jumbotron. We see a wild forest fire burning out of control, consuming
every tree on the screen. 

HP:  "What the fff -"

RM: (Interrupting him)  "Hollywood, we’re still on the air!"

HP:  "Sorry.  Not really, but whatever."

[The camera zooms in to the flames and on the screen we see a large
black eye surrounded by a reptilian head. The flames are reflected in
the large eye and the hue of the eye begins to change. It slowly fades
to a dark blood red. Suddenly, “Out of Control” by Hoobastank pulses
through the arena speakers.]

#I’ve done everything as you said#
#I’ve followed your rules without question#
#I thought it would help me see things clearly#

[The eye is suddenly replaced by words which come forward through the
flames.]

“Tag Teams”

#But instead of helping me to see#
#I look around and it’s like I’m blinded#
#I’m spinning out of control#
#Out of control#

“The DCWL Has None”

#I’m spinning out of control#
#Out of control#

“No true tag team champions . . . “

#Where should I go#
#What should I do#
#I don’t understand what you want from me!#

“. . . Exist in the DCWL”

[The jumbotron shows quick face shots of the past year’s tag team
champions, Cousin Cletus and Matt Cole, Haplo and Celestial Warrior,
Ahmed Akhbar and Jess Bollinger, Team Sammich and the EPC.]

#’Cause I don’t know#
#If I can trust you#
#or all of the things you’ve said to me!#

“The DCWL only has singles wrestlers . . .”

#And I may never know#
#The answer to this endless mystery#

“. . . Thrown together as a team . . . 

#Where should I go?
#What should I do?#
#I Don’t understand what you want from me#

“. . .  to save their pathetic careers”

#I feel like I’m spinning out of control#
#Try to focus but everything’s twisted#

“But now, a true team emerges . . . “

#and all along I thought you would be there#
#to let me know, I’m not alone#
#but in fact that’s exactly what I was#

“. . . forged in the fire of true teamwork”

#I’m spinning out of control#
#Out of control#
#I’m spinning out of control#
#Out of control#

“The only true tag ‘team’ in the DCWL”

#Where should I go#
#What should I do#
#I don’t understand what you want from me!#

“EPC and other DCWL Tag teams . . . “

#’Cause I don’t know#
#If I can trust you#
#or all of the things you’ve said to me!#

“If you can’t stand the heat . . . “

#And I may never know#
#The answer to this endless mystery#
#Where should I go?
#What should I do?#
#I Don’t understand what you want from me#

“GET OUT OF THE FIRE!”

[The music fades out, and the flames disappear from the screen. The
arena remains in darkness for about 20 seconds, but then slowly the
lights come back on.]

RM:  "Hollywood, what’s this?  A new tag team coming into the DCWL?"

HP:  "BAH!  Johnny Detson and Crimestarter Jim are true champs, titles
or not, in whatever division they apply themselves to, dammit!"

RM:  "That may be Hollywood, but in any case, the DCWL Tag Team
Division is finally growing. We already have the EPC, and now the
Saints and the Two Dudes have returned. Add this new team into the mix
and we will have a real tag team division! I’m excited, Hollywood!"

[The Saints and the Two Dudes are both looking angrily at the screen,
furious that their moment of glory on this PPV has been stolen by this
promo.]

RM:  "Both teams are understandably upset. All of the momentum and
emotion generated by their entrances has ebbed here because of this
promo."

HP:  "Momentum? I’d hardly call bouncing your head to annoying music
building momentum, Manning. The Saints may have been ready for a match,
but the “Two Duds” just come out and act like idiots, wasting precious
energy."

RM:  "That’s Two Dudes, Hollywood. Not Two Duds."

HP:  "I’m well aware of their name, Manning. Trust me. They’re a couple
of freaking Duds."

[The Dude with the Long Hair suddenly climbs to the middle turnbuckle
and points up the entrance ramp, shouting.]

HP:  "Now what is that Dud saying?"

RM:  "I think he’s demanding that the Two Dudes’ music be played again.
It looks like the Two Dudes want to get their adrenaline pumping again
before the match starts!"

#WHEN ITS TIME TO PARTY, WE WILL PARTY HARD!#

[The crowd gives a huge face pop as the Dudes’ music starts back up.
The Dudes begin to bang their heads to the music again, but the music
suddenly cuts off as Williams and Abate attack the Dudes from behind.]

HP:  "Finally! Some WRESTLING. This is, after all, a WRESTLING event,
not a mosh pit-infested punk concert!"


**DING DING DING**

Williams is beating the Dude with the Long Hair,
With hard fists to the face,
Sending DLH careening to the mat, 
His head banging backward against it.
Abate, meanwhile, whips Dude with the Short Hair into the ropes.
DSH rebounds, and is leveled with a big boot to the face.
Both of the Dudes are lying on the mat,
As the crowd gives the Saints major heel heat.

RM:  "The fans gave nostalgic cheers to the Saints on the last edition
of Total Dementia, but the crowd is not appreciating them tonight."

HP:  "They actually want to see more idiocy from the Duds. I can’t
believe we have to watch these guys on television again."

RM:  "At any rate, this is a rather unsportsmanlike way to open a
match."

HP:  "Manning, there’s nothing wrong with gaining a little advantage
early in the match."

The Dudes are picked up,
and whipped simultaneously to the ropes.
Rebounding, DLH is sent flying over the top rope to the floor,
by a back body drop from Cameron Williams.
He crashes to the floor on the outside, rolling up the ramp,
then clutching his back in pain.
DSH rebounds and is driven through the mat,
by a devastating spine buster from Ryan Abate.
He shudders a moment, then lies still.
The referee, tired of the mayhem,
forces Cameron Williams to the Saints’ corner.
As he leaves, drawing away the attention of the referee, 
it allows Ryan Abate to choke DSH.

RM:  "Now look at this! For somebody who claims to be really religious,
that is a blatant cheating tactic! Ryan Abate is choking the Dude with
the Short Hair!"

HP:  "How does the saying go from that movie?"

RM:  "What movie?"

HP:  "That one movie. I think I watched it a couple of months ago."

RM:  "Well that certainly narrows it down."

HP:  "It’s the Count of Something. Like the Count of Montgomery Burns
or something."

RM:  "The Count of Monte Cristo?"

HP:  "That’s the one! Anyway, something like 'I’m a priest, not a
saint?" 

RM:  "They call themselves the Saints!"

HP:  "Well ...  Nobody’s perfect, Manning. Besides, there’s nothing
wrong with bending the rules when the end justifies the means. The
Saints simply want to win the match so they can be more famous and
spread their message. They’re doing the world a favor, Manning."

RM:  "By cheating?"

The referee finally turns around,
and sees the choke applied by Ryan Abate.
He administers a five-count,
and Abate finally breaks it,
shouting at DSH and telling him to never interrupt a prayer again.

HP:  "You tell them, Abate! Teach them respect! Maybe the Saints will
beat the Dudes senseless, they’ll see their evil ways and become Monks.
"

RM:  "Why would you hope for that?"

HP:  "Well, that way, we’ll never have to see them and their stupid
antics, music and party nonsense again!"

RM:  "At any rate, the Saints are showing they mean business. Ryan
Abate, in particular, appears furious that the prayer was interrupted
by head-banging, thrash music."

Abate pulls DSH to his feet, then hooks him in a pump handle,
then lifts him up and sends through the canvas with a pump-handle slam,
Delivering more pressure to the back of DSH, he goes for a cover:

ONE
..

..

..

..

..

TWO.

..

..

..

..

KICKOUT!

RM:  "Already a near fall for the Saints."

HP:  "I hope the Saints get this over with quickly. I’m really excited
about the Vindicator’s coronation as Grand Champion tonight. I can’t
wait for it!"

RM:  "It’s a little early to be talking about that, Hollywood.
Especially because he has to go through Skye Ashner tonight."

HP:  "Bah. Ashner can’t win the big one. We all know that. He wouldn’t
even be champion if Dale Stanwycz had been 100 percent. And if you
can’t beat Dale Stanwycz, what does that say about you?"

RM:  "I think Ashner is a true champion."

HP:  "Trust me, after tonight, Ashner can hit a bar with the Two Dudes.
They’re all gonna need something to drink tonight. It’s gonna be a
disappointing night, trust me!"

Abate grabs DSH’s right leg, and turns him over into a half crab,
evelavting to focus the ressure on the neck of DSH.
He drives his knee into DSH’s back and DSH cries out in pain.

RM:  "Ryan Abate is really working on the back of the Dude with the
Short Hair here."

Abate shouts for DSH to give up.
Williams, from the ring apron, also shouts at DSH, 
But he is saying something else:

Williams:  "It’s time for you to give up your evil ways, to tell Jesus
you accept him as your Savior! REPENT, for his hour will soon come!"

DSH seems to have already reached a breaking point,
after the beating he has already taken to his back.
To a loud chorus of boos,
he reaches out his hand and moves to tap out.

HP:  "It’s all over, baby! We can move on to something much more
important than the Two Duds! Somebody tell the roadies to get the
Metropolitan Megastar’s entrance music ready!"

The crowd gives a huge face reaction,
as, suddenly, the Dude with the Long Hair slides into the ring,
and delivers a dropkick to the face of Ryan Abate,
causing him to break the hold on DSH.

RM:  "A save from the Dude with the Long Hair! This match is not over
yet! Ryan Abate is furious. He had this match won, but the Dude with
the Long Hair breaks the hold before his partner could tap out!"

Abate falls backward,
as DLH rushes to the Saints’ corner,
and knocks Cameron Williams down off the apron.
DLH then rushes at Abate,
who has staggered back to his feet.
DLH knocks him down again with a cross body block,
and begins to shower Abate with left and right soupbones.

HP:  "That is blatant interference. The referee should disqualify the
Two Dudes, and he should do it now!"

RM:  "Why? It’s not like the Saints haven’t cheated already!"

HP:  "Dammit, Manning, this is different! This isn’t bending a rule,
this is just a plain disregard for justice! It’s blatant cheating, and
the referee needs to get the Dud with the Big Ass out of there right
now!"

The referee tries to pull DLH off of Abate,
but DLH is now driving mad fists into Abate’s forehead.
Williams climbs into the ring,
rushes at DLH, and kicks him in the back of the head.
DLH crumples to the mat, and rolls out of the ring to the floor.
The referee then turns to Williams,
who is stomping away viciously at DSH,
and threatens to disqualify him,
if he doesn’t return to the Saints’ corner.

RM:  "Now it’s the Saints with an illegal man in there!"

HP:  "HA! What goes around comes around. The Duds are getting a taste
of their own medicine right now!"

Williams obliges, and climbs under the rope.
Abate pulls himself to his feet, and heads over to DSH.
DSH, however, quickly pokes him in the eye,
sausing Abate to stumble backwards.
DSH, in a surge of adrenaline,
hops to his feet to a huge crowd reaction.
He rebounds off the ropes,
and flails his long, thin body in a spinning heel kick,
but Ryan Abate, unwittingly, drops to his knees,
still clutching his eyes. 
DSH crashes to the mat clearly missing his target.

RM:  "The Dudes have changed the momentum, but it would appear that a
lucky break for Ryan Abate has given him a chance to make a tag here!"

HP:  "It is a lucky situation for the Saints. They can get the fresh
man in here Manning, meanwhile the Dud with the Short Nose is still
stuck out there."

Ryan Abate pulls himself to his feet near the Saints’ corner, 
but instead of making a tag to Cameron Williams,
he walks back to DSH, rubbing his hands togther with glee.

RM:  "Well he certainly had the opportunity to tag Cameron Williams. I
remember at the beginning of the match, Williams said not to tag him
in. I guess Ryan Abate is going to follow that strategy here, at least
in the early going."

The two lock up with authority,
and DSH gains the advantage,
Cinching a side headlock on his opponent,
but Abate manages to hurl him into the ropes.
As DSH rebounds, he spears Abate,
but Abate catches him, stumbling backwards with the momentum,
but he somehow manages to maintain his balance.
He places DSH in a standing head scissors,
and quickly lifts him up for a sit-down power bomb.
Abtae holds on for the cover:

ONE
..

..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

THREE! NO!
The Dude with the Long Hair makes the save!

HP:  "Dammit! Get him out of there!"

The referee comes over and shoves DLH, 
telling him to go to the Dudes’ corner.
DLH turns and leaves, just as Ryan Abate gets up,
and finally makes a tag to Cameron Williams!

RM:  "Well, Williams is in now. The first tag of this match has been
made, and the Saints are still in control here. The Two Dudes
definitely need a fresh man in here."

Williams comes into the ring,
and DSH has climbed to his knees, and crawls across the ring,
reaching out to tag DLH.
He leaps forward to try and make the tag,
But comes up a foot short.
Williams delivers a double axe handle blow,
to the injured back of DSH.

HP:  "This _Dud_ is going to have his back broken tonight by the
Saints. You know what that means? No more mosh pits for him!"

RM:  "The Dude with the Short Hair is really in a tight spot. He needs
to make a tag, but he’s clear on the other side of ring from his
partner. And now it looks like Williams is going to continue to work on
that back of the Dude with the Short Hair!"

Williams, looking to add to the injured back of DSH,
grabs his legs and locks on a sharpshooter.
DSH, already close to the ropes, reaches out for them,
but Williams manages to pull him away.
DLH begins to stomp his foot on the ring apron,
and the crowd begins to clap its support for DSH.
DSH places his hands on the mat,
and pulls himself a foot closer to the ropes.
The crowd goes nuts as his hand is inches away from the rope.

RM:  "He’s almost there!"

HP:  "But how much longer can he last, Manning! This thing is over, I’m
telling you!"

Williams pulls him away again,
and starts shouting for DSH to give up.
He leans back, applying more pressure to DSH,
and DSH slams his hand on the canvas

HP:  "He’s tapping out! It’s all over! The Saints have won, and we can
move on to more important matches!"

But instead of tapping out, he quickly picks it up again.
He pulls himself another couple of inches,
and reaches for the rope again.
His finger graces the edge of the rope.
He appears to be running out of energy,
Crying out in obvious pain.

RM:  "What awesome fortitude from the Dude with the Short Hair! What
guts and courage! A lesser man would have tapped out a long time ago -"

HP:  "And a better man wouldn’t presume to waste my time!"

RM:  "Like him or hate him, Hollywood -"

HP:  "Hate him."

Yet, with utter determination,
He pulls himself another half inch,
Reaches out and grabs the rope to a thunderous ovation.

RM:  "I don’t believe it! He has reached the ropes! The Dude with the
Short Hair refuses to give up, and the Dudes are still alive!"

Williams also appears to be in disbelief.
He holds the Sharpshooter for the entire five count.
DSH shudders with pain,
As Williams, threatened with a DQ, 
Finally releases the hold.
He glares at the referee,
Then walks over to tag Ryan Abate.

HP:  "He may have survived that hold, Manning, but it doesn’t matter.
The fresh man is in, and the Dude with the Short Hair has been in for
the whole match."

Abate walks over to DSH,
Who has indeed been in for the entire match thus far.
He makes a throat-slashing gesture,
Then lifts DSH up in a fireman’s carry.
He falls backward with a Samoan Drop.
Abate looks to Williams and nods his head.
Williams nods back, shouting his approval.
Abate goes for the cover:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

The Dude with the Long Hair with yet another save!

HP:  "I’m getting tired of this blatant obstruction of justice!"

Abate gets up angrily and tries to move toward DLH.
The referee, however, has already moved between them.
He turns his back on Abate and sends DLH over to his corner.
Abate turns back toward DSH.
Abate’s eyes suddenly widen with pain,
And he clutches at his groin after a low blow from DSH!

HP:  "Look at that! A low blow! Come on, ref! That’s a
disqualification!"

RM:  "Come on, Hollywood. He waited until the referee’s back was
turned! That’s right up your alley, isn’t it?"

Abate drops to his knees,
His eyes watering 
because of the forcefulness of the low blow.
Williams is absolutely livid,
Marching up and down the apron,
Shouting at the referee
Who has finally turned back to the action.
The referee can’t speculate, however
And he definitely didn’t see anything.
Abate is crawling to Williams.
DSH, meanwhile, is trying to tag DLH in for the first time.

The crowd is throwing it’s support to the efforts of DSH.
Abate is two feet away from Williams.
He stretches out his hand, and makes the tag.
Williams climbs through the ropes and rushes to stop DSH.
DSH, however, manages to leap forward and make a tag to DLH.

The crowd gives a huge face pop
As DLH springboard’s to the top turnbuckle,
Leaps and delivers a missile dropkick.
Williams drops hard to the mat,
Holding his face.
DLH rushes across the ring,
And clotheslines Abate,
Sending Abate flying backwards,
His back crashing against the steel guardrail.

RM:  "Abate crashing to the outside! The Dude with the Long Hair is on
fire here!"

HP:  "This is what I was afraid of! He’s been anxious to get in, and
now that he is he has all sorts of energy to explode in a wave of
offense."

Williams stands up,
And is met by a cross-body block from an airborne DLH.
DSH rolls out onto the ring apron,
Trying to catch his breath.
DLH, meanwhile is punching Williams savagely in the forehead.
before grabbing Williams by the hair and pulling him up.
He whips Williams into the corner.
Williams’ back crashes into the turnbuckle with a thud,
DLH walks over and delivers a hard knife-edged chop ala Ric Flair.
Instead of shouting “Whoo,” the crowd shouts something else.

Crowd: DUUUUUUUDDE!

DLH delivers another hard chop.

Crowd: DUUUUUUUDDE!

Another.

Crowd: DUUUUUUUUDDE!

DLH kicks Williams in the midsection,
Then, hooking Williams’ head under his arm,
He ascends to the top rope,
Spins and drops a Tornado DDT,
Driving Williams headfirst to the mat.
DLH goes for a cover:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

THR - KICKOUT!

The crowd gives a groan of disappointment,
That he only got a near fall.
DSH has pulled himself up in the Dudes’ corner,
And is resting against the turnbuckle.
He shouts a few words of encouragement,
As DLH locks on an armbar.
The pain is twisted on Williams’ face.
Ryan Abate climbs the apron,
And comes into the ring.
He kicks DLH in the back to break the hold.

RM:  "Ryan Abate has managed to break the hold Hollywood, but the Dudes
still have the momentum."

HP:  "But for how much longer? Seriously, you know they’re going to
screw it up somehow. This guys are always so kamikaze about everything.
The Duds will find a way to squander this advantage."

The referee forces Abate out of the ring,
Meanwhile, DSH climbs to the top rope.
DLH puts Williams in a in a standing headscissors.
He lifts Williams up in a piledriver position,
And DSH leaps from the top rope,
Helping to deliver a spike piledriver.
The referee turns to see DSH in the ring.
He shoves DSH in the chest and points to the corner.
DSH goes back, while DLH goes for a cover.

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

KICKOUT!

RM:  "The Dude with the Long Hair waited too long to make the cover
there. That spike piledriver might have finished this match if the
referee hadn’t been so occupied with getting the Dude with the Long
Hair out of the ring. If he could have made the count right after the
move, it definitely would have been a three."

HP:  "That’s why cheating is a fine art, Manning. You have to know when
to cheat and when not to. You have to be ready to duck and cover and
get out of the way so the ref can’t see you did it."

DLH grabs Williams by the arm,
And drags him to the Dudes’ corner.
He tags in DSH,
Then, dragging Williams to his feet,
He sends him back down with a DDT.
Williams’ head hit’s the mat,
And he rolls over on his back.
DSH ascends to the top rope, to a huge pop from the crowd.
He leaps delivers a flying guillotine leg drop,
Dropping his leg across Williams’ neck.
He hooks Williams’ leg and covers:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

THREE! NO!

Right before his hand hit the mat,
The ref looked and saw that Williams’ leg was on the rope.
Quickly, DSH gets up and tags in DLH.
Abate, apparently tired of waiting,
climbs in the ring and rushes at the Dudes.
DSH turns just in time to see Abate,
Lowers his shoulder and back body drops Abate to the outside.
Abate manages to land on his hands and knees,
And climbs to his feet.
DSH, meanwhile, springboards into a plancha to the outside,
Landing across the top of Abate!

RM:  "The Dudes are on FIRE!"

Back in the ring, DLH picks Williams up,
and whips him into the farside ropes.
He then rushes at Williams,
Trying to clothesline him on the rebound.
Williams, however, manages to stop his momentum.
He tries to back body drop DLH to the outside,
But DLH lands on the ring apron.
Williams, unaware that DLH is still on the apron,
Turns around and is caught by DLH’s hands.
He drops down to the floor, 
dragging Williams’ neck across the top rope.
As Williams’ head hit’s the mat,
DLH pulls him to through the bottom rope.

RM:  "The Saints just can’t seem to turn the momentum! They had it for
the first ten minutes of this match, but the Dudes turned the tide and
now this match has turned into mayhem."

HP:  "As much as I hate the Duds, it really is good to see some
Plundah-type action with the Plunderweight Title dead and gone."

On the other side of the ring,
DSH and Ryan Abate are trading blows up the entrance ramp.
Abate blocks a punch,
And catches DSH with a thumb to the eye.
He then places Abate’s head under his arm,
And lifts him up into a suplex,
But then he throws him straight down on his face
Onto the entrance ramp.

RM:  "Hide Neck Cracy! That’s Ryan Abate’s finishing move! Ladies and
gentlemen, I think this might be the turn of the tide for the Saints!"

HP:  "It might be. Unfortunately, neither Ryan Abate nor the Dud with
the Short Nose are the legal men. However, maybe Ryan Abate can help
out against the Dud with the Long Ass with some sweet double-team
action!"

Abate turns in time to see 
that DLH has placed Williams on his back on the guard rail.
DLH ascends to the top rope.
He leaps and attempts a full body splash,
But Williams is pulled off the guard rail 
by Ryan Abate at the last second.
DLH misses Williams by inches,
And lands on the guard rail on his stomach.

HP:  "HA! I told you the Duds would blow it! Give Ryan Abate credit for
the heads-up move there. After taking care of one Dud, he saw the other
was about to try a stupid move. See, this is why risk-takers never go
anywhere in wrestling, Manning. They invariably take too big of risk
because they get carried away."

Williams throws his arm over his partner’s shoulder,
And helps him leap to the ring,
Then helps him climb in.
He then walks over to the Dude with the Long Hair,
Who is holding his injured stomach.
He rolls him into the ring.
Williams is on his feet now.
DSH, meanwhile, is still lying on the entrance ramp.

DLH is whipped into the ropes,
And he flips over into a tree of woe.
Williams drive his knee into DLH’s neck.
The referee gives him a five count,
And Williams breaks the hold.
He tags in Ryan Abate,
Then starts choking him with his knee again.

RM:  "The mayhem has finally died down here, Hollywood but there will
be much more mayhem to come. And I don’t need mean in this match."

HP:  "I know exactly what you’re talking about, Manning. The Apocolypse
Match is coming up later. I can’t wait! Remember how awesome it was
last year? I have a feeling it will be even better this year!"

The referee tells Williams to get out of the ring again,
But Williams just kicks DLH in the face.
The referee gives him a final warning of disqualification,
And Williams climbs out of the ring.
Abate picks up where he left off,
Choking him with his knee.
After a five count, the referee pushes him out of the way,
But the ref’s back is to DLH and Cameron Williams’ backs.
Williams drops down to the floor, grabs DLH’s head,
and starts pulling backward.

DLH’s loud screams of pain cause the ref to turn and look at him,
But Williams let’s go in time.
The ref eyes him, 
but Williams just give a 'I didn’t do anything' shrug.

HP:  "See, the ref didn’t see anything. Williams knows just how long to
cheat and when to quit. The Saints are good cheaters. The Duds are
pretenders."

Abate grabs DLH’s legs,
And hurls them down to the mat.
He then picks him up and places him in a standing head scissors.
He grabs DLH’s arms in a double underhook,
Then delivers a double underhook piledriver,
Sending DLH down to the mat.
DLH’s face crashes down,
Then he rolls over on his back.

RM:  "A version of the Vindicator’s Total Vindication here from Ryan
Abate!"

HP:  "Manning, that’s just a preview of what we’ll see in the Grand
Championship match tonight! It just ended this match, and it will end
this one! Even this crowd is giving Abate props for using such a
high-class move!"

The Crowd gives a huge face pop.
Abate is as confused as Hollywood, 
obviously thinking the pop is for him.
He gives the crowd a thumbs up, 
then drops down and makes the cover.


ONE!
..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

THREE!!


NO!

The pop had come as DSH rushed from the entrance ramp,
And ascended the top rope,
He leaps all the way across the ring,
With a swan dive head butt across the back of Ryan Abate,
Breaking the pin!

RM:  "Another save from the two Dudes, and this one in exciting
fashion! What a move from the Dude with the Short Hair!"

Abate angrily shoves DSH.
DSH stands his ground, 
Then delivers a knife-edged chop.

Crowd: DUUUUUUUUDDE!

A punch from Abate is absorbed,
And DSH delivers another chop.

Crowd: DUUUUUUDDE!

The referee finally steps between the two of them,
Then he starts pushing DSH back to his corner.
Abate tags in Williams, 
Then holds DLH in a full nelson.
While the ref’s back is still turned,
Williams gets in a couple of cheap shot punches.
Then Abate lifts DLH off the ground,
And delivers a full nelson slam.

HP:  "That has to be it! This match is OVER!"

RM:  "Williams hooks the leg, and goes for the cover."

ONE!
..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

KICKOUT!

RM:  "Another near fall, but this match is still not over! The fans
earlier were showing their appreciation for the fortitude shown by the
Dude with the Short Hair. Now the Dude with the Long Hair is doing the
same thing, and now the crowd is getting behind him!"

As DSH starts hitting the top turnbuckle,
The crowd is starting to pound its feet on the floor,
And chanting “LET’S GO DUDES! LET’S GO DUDES!”
Williams tags in Ryan Abate.
Before the referee forces him out,
He lifts DLH to his feet,
Then drops back with a Russian Leg Sweep.

RM:  "The Saints are doing a good job of keeping the fresh man in the
match here. I really don’t know if the Dudes have enough to beat the
Saints. Though frustration is showing from the Saints at not being able
to finish the Dudes, they have mounted furious offense and great
teamwork throughout the match."

HP:  "Exactly, teamwork. I hope that mystery team from the earlier
promo is watching. There is teamwork here in the DCWL."

RM:  "This is all the kind of exciting action we can expect from the
newly invigorated tag-team division, Hollywood! The DCWL Tag Team
Division is no longer a mix and match spot for various singles
wrestlers. It’s all about real teams, now."

HP:  "Listen to you. You sound a lot like that stupid promo at the
beginning of the match!"

DLH is obviously almost finished.
He is breathing hard and is obviously running on fumes.
Abate locks a sleeper hold,
And it looks as though he can’t take anymore.
Abate cinches his arm to add more pressure.
DLH’s eyes close.

HP:  "Night-night, Dud! Go to sleep. This match has lasted a lot longer
than it should have!"

The referee walks over
And grabs DLH’s hand.
He lifts it up,
But it drops listlessly to the mat.

HP:  "There’s one!"

The ref does it again to the same result,
It simply drops to the mat.
The referee holds up two fingers.

HP:  "There’s two!"

RM:  "If the Dude with the Long Hair’s hand drops one more time, this
match will be over!"

The ref grabs DLH’s arm and lifts it up.
He drops it again.
DLH’s eyes suddenly flash open.
His hand stops inches from the mat.
A wild look is in his eyes,
And he lifts his hand and begins to shake it, ala Lex Luger.

RM:  "He’s not finished yet! The Dude with the Long Hair is running on
determination, he’s still alive!"

The crowd is throwing its support,
but not in the usual “Stomp the feet to give momentum.”
Instead, the crowd has begun singing.

HP:  "What is going on here . . . The crowd isn’t singing these idiots’
.. . . "

RM:  "That’s right! They’re singing the lyrics to the Dudes’ Entrance
music."

CROWD: PARTY HARD!!! 
	 LET'S GET A PARTY GOIN' 
 	 LET'S GET A PARTY GOIN'
	 NOW IT'S TIME TO PARTY AND WE'LL ALWAYS PARTY HARD!!! 
	 PARTY HARD! 
	 PARTY HARD! 
	 PARTY HARD! 
	 PARTY HARD! 

DLH’s hand is shaking violently,
As he manages to get himself to his feet.
He throws a hard elbow to Abate to break the sleeper.
Abate manages to keep the hold on.
Another elbow is absorbed by Abate.

CROWD: PARTY HARD!!! 
	 LET'S GET A PARTY GOIN' 
	 LET'S GET A PARTY GOIN'
	 NOW IT'S TIME TO PARTY AND WE'LL ALWAYS PARTY HARD!!! 
	 PARTY HARD! 
	 PARTY HARD! 
	 PARTY HARD! 
	 PARTY HARD!

Both of DLH’s hands are shaking now.
He draws his elbow back,
And jabs it viciously into Abate’s side.
The crowd gives a huge face pop as Abate is forced to break the hold.
He staggers backward a moment,
Then back toward DLH.
DLH suddenly drops him to the mat with a ¾ turn neck breaker
to the biggest pop the Dudes have gotten all night.

RM:  "Out of nowhere, an explosive move from the Dude with the Long
Hair! If he can make a tag to get the fresh Dude in, the Dudes might
still win this thing!"

HP:  "I don’t know, Manning! It seems that was a last-ditch effort from
the Dud with the Long Ass."

But all of this seems to have taken DLH’s last energy.
Both men are on the mat.
Williams starts shouting to Abate.

Williams: Don’t give up, Ryan! Make a tag! The Lord is with you!

DSH makes a few “Raise the roof” signs, 
And the crowd starts to sing the music again.

HP:  "Dammit, how can the crowd support these idiots? And if support
wasn’t enough, to sing this lame-ass song? STOP!"

RM:  "They like the Dudes! The Dudes are fun, Hollywood!"

Crowd: ALL RIGHT!!! 
	 YOU! 
	 YOU WORK ALL NIGHT 
	 AND WHEN YOU WORK YOU DON'T FEEL ALL RIGHT
	 BUT WE...
	 WE CAN'T STOP FEELING ALL RIGHT 
	 AND EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT 
	 CAUSE WE WILL NEVER LISTEN TO YOUR RULES!!
	 WE WILL NEVER DO WHAT OTHERS DO!!

Abate has begun to crawl toward his partner.
He reaches out his hand,
He’s a foot away.

RM:  "The crowd has managed to energize the Dude with the Long Hair,
Hollywood! He’s almost reached his partner!"

HP:  "I don’t think he has enough left to make the tag, Manning!"

DLH manages to crawl toward DSH, 
But he collapses still three feet from the Dudes’ corner.

HP:  "See! I told you! He just doesn’t have enough left to make the
tag."

Abate, however, makes the tag.
Cameron Williams is in. 
He tries to rush to DLH,
But Abate has rolled over,
His legs in the air.
He inadvertently trips his partner,
And Williams stumbles to his hands and knees.
He looks up to see DLH inches away from the tag.

RM:  "He’s almost there! He’s literally inches away!"

Williams is back on his feet,
And he rushes at DLH.
DLH gathers all of his strength together,
And jumps toward DSH.
DSH’s hand grazes his partners.
The crowd explodes,
As DSH springboards over the rope and his partner.

RM:  "He did it! The Dude with the Long Hair did it! He made the tag,
and the fresh Dude is in! I think we’re headed for an exciting finish,
Hollywood!"

DSH rushes toward Williams
Leaps, and delivers a spinning heel kick
To Williams’ forehead!
Williams crashes to the mat,
His arms and legs spread out.
DSH throws his arms up in the air in celebration.
Williams grabs the ropes and pulls himself up.
DSH climbs to the top turnbuckle,
Leaps, and throws his legs around Williams’ neck,
And executes a hurricanrana.
He hooks Williams’ legs for the pin!

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..
Abate makes the save!

RM:  "A near fall there, but Ryan Abate managed to make the save!"

Williams rolls to the outside by the Saints’ corner.
His face clouded with fury and desperation,
He reaches under the ring, and pulls something out from under it.
Abate, meanwhile, tries to whip DSH into the ropes.
DSH manages to reverse it, 
rushes at Abate and jumps on him with a Lou Thesz press.

RM:  "The Dude with the Short Hair just won’t be stopped! He is on a
roll, and he is pounding Ryan Abate with a vengeance."

HP:  "Unfortunately for the Duds, Ryan Abate is not the legal man!
Cameron Williams is, and he’s biding his time and gathering his
strength!"

The referee pulls DSH off Abate.
He kneels over the fallen Saint,
And starts rolling him out of the ring.
Williams slides back into the ring, 
Standing behind DSH.

RM:  "Williams is back in the ring, and he has something in his hand?
What is that?"

HP:  "It looks like . . . Like a nail? This is great, the Dud with the
Short Nose doesn’t see Williams. Not only that, but the referee’s back
is turned! Finally, the Saints are going to finish off the Duds!"

RM:  "I think that’s actually a passion nail! You know, one of those
novelty items from Mel Gibson’s “Passion of the Christ.” 

He slams the foreign object across DSH’s forehead,
Busting him open,
And sending him spread-eagled to the mat.

RM:  "Why? Why end such a great match on such a big night as this in
this way? You’re cheating the fans, Williams! I can’t believe you would
do this!"

Williams tosses the nail out of the ring,
As the referee turns from Abate 
to see Williams dropping down to cover DSH.

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

THREE!!!


**DING DING DING**

PA:  "Here are your winners, as a result of a pinfall in a time of 19
minutes and 45 seconds, Cameron Williams and Ryan Abate, the
SAIINNNNTS!!!"

(The crowd is booing the roof off at the announcement.  Abate,
realizing his team has just won, enters the ring, throws his arms in
the air, and begins to celebrate.  Williams stares at the Dude with
Short Hair, who is lying in a puddle of his own blood.  He looks at the
Dude with Long Hair, who has rolled out to the floor.  He turns to Ryan
Abate.)

Williams: Focus, Ryan. We need to focus!

(Abate nods.)

Williams: Let’s go.

(The Saints quietly step over the Dude with Long Hair, and they walk up
the entrance ramp, to a continued floor of jeers from the crowd.)

HP:  "Finally! No more Duds!"

RM:  "This is an injustice, Hollywood! This was such a great match!
Cameron Williams had to ruin it!"

HP:  "Ruin it? They finally put it away! They obviously were too
frustrated that they couldn’t put the Dudes away fairly, so they
cheated. I did it all the time!"

RM:  "I wouldn’t doubt it.  Folks, we've got a medical team working on
the Dude with Short Hair, and things are more or less under control out
here now.  Let's check back in backstage again, as our ring crew begins
to set up the Steel Cage for the Grand Championship match!"

[The camera switches backstage where we see Steve Francis standing next
to one of DCWL's newest recruits, Greg Allocca.  Greg is in his usual
wrestling attire.  The black army boots, cut-off olive cargos, black
fingerless glove, and elbow pad on opposing arms.  He's also sporting a
Slayer logo shirt with the sleeves cut off.]
 
Steve Francis: "Well, Greg you had an interesting debut on the most
recent edition of Total Dementia, but what does the Angel of Violence
have planned tonight?  Are you gonna be involved in the Ark of
Apocalypse match as someone's partner?"
 
Greg - "Well, I'm not scheduled to be involved but if the circumstances
are right, I might get involved the same way I did at Total Dementia."
 
Steve Francis: "It's been made known that you were one of the
competitors from the old days of DCWL what have you been doing since
the closing of that organization?"
 
Greg - "Well, I think everyone here is aware that it came at a bad time
for me.  I was getting set for a big shot at the DCWL championship. 
Things only got worse from there, I had some rough troubles with drugs
and the like.  But I managed to wade through the sea of fecal matter
that was my personal life, and here I am.  Ready to make my way through
the ranks of the DCWL for my...."
 
Steve Francis: "What's the?"
 
[Allocca is suddenly knocked to the floor by a massive man with
olive-colored skin and wild, unkempt hair. After the initial shock, we
here the crowd in the background giving a huge heel pop as "The
Vagabond" Haplo is kicking Allocca viciously in the head.]
 
RM:  "Unbelievable!  Haplo is here, and he's attacking Allocca.  Talk
about unprovoked!"
 
HP:  "What do you mean, unprovoked? Allocca should have been minding
his own business last week!"
 
[Christian Marquardt comes into the picture, a wicked grin on his
face.]
 
Marquardt: Not so nosy now, are you, du doofes Arschloch? Haplo,
Verletz ihn! Er muesst doch etwas lernen!
 
[Haplo picks Allorca up, and places his hand around his neck. He lifts
him up and chokeslams him to the floor.]
 
Haplo (To Allocca): From now on, mind your own [BLEEP]ing business, you
washed-up pile! And remember, you don't want to make things personal
with me! Because if you [BLEEP] with the bull, YOU GET THE HORNS!
 
[Haplo turns and sees Steve Francis, who has a
deer-in-in-the-headlights look in his eyes.]

Haplo: What the hell are you looking at?
 
Francis (stammering): "N - Nothing."
 
[Francis suddenly hits the floor, as Haplo decks him with a roundhouse
punch. Haplo and Marquardt walk away from Allocca, who is stirring.]
 
HP:  "There you go Haplo, teach them a lesson!"
 
RM:  "I can't believe you're actually condoning this.  Attacking a man
from behind?  Haplo continues to demand respect from his peers, yet
refuses to show any in return!"

HP:  "BAH!  Instilling fear is a perfectly acceptable form of respect,
Manning!"

RM:  "Hollywood, you seem to be able to make an excuse for any action,
no matter how reprehensible.  Anyways, the ring crew is nearly set for
the Steel Cage match, but still has a bit more work to do, so let's
head elsewhere in the backstage area for a moment!"

[Scene cuts to a dressing room, quite normal in appearance. There is an
open locker and a little bench and a table in the corner with some
chairs around it. In the room, we see Alexander Hawkins III along with
his trainer, Luke "The Chainsaw" Seegmiller.]

[Hawkins is tieing up his black wrestling boots. He finishes and stands
up straight and leans back, stretching out his back.]

HAWKINS: Man, I'm still sore from last week's shenanigans with
Bollinger running in and getting in my face again.

LUKE: Yeah, well you better watch your back tonight.

HAWKINS: I really don't think I'll have much to worry about. After all,
I enter late in the match... if Bollinger is in early, I'll let Jeb
handle it, if he even makes it up to the point where Jeb enters. And if
he is in later, well... with my spot, chances are he doesn't come in
after me. So he'll already be tired.

LUKE: Yeah, well, let's not throw out the weapons here. You gotta keep
that in mind.

HAWKINS: Meh, there's going to be so many weapons lying around the
ring, I could easily grab something nearby and beat him down with it
since I won't have anything of my own.

LUKE: Now, don't get all focused in on Bollinger. I know you want your
revenge and all, but there are more things at stake here than just
beating the crap out of Bollinger.

HAWKINS: Yeah yeah, I know. But really, all I want to do right now it
smack him around. Twice now, he has come in and messed up my chances at
winning. And I haven't done anything to him at all. I don't know why he
decided he wanted to try and pick on me, but he obviously made the
wrong choice.

LUKE: Yeah, seeing as how you already beat him once in a singes match.
He's no match-up with you.

HAWKINS: Yet he still insists on trying to beat me and get his cheap
shots in. First he eliminated me from that battle royale after he had
been eliminated already, then he cheap shots me after I fairly beat
him.

LUKE: Yeah, sounds to me like he is just a cry baby.

HAWKINS: No joke. And then last week, I was trying to help out King
Karnage, when homeboy runs in and got me counted out! I lost to
freaking KING KARNAGE? Can you believe that?

LUKE: Yeah, we'll get KK back sooner or later.

HAWKINS: Nah, I'm not so concerned with that. I know I could have
beaten him had it not been for Bollinger. King is a good guy... just
needs some guidance.

LUKE: And you being such a nice guy are going to give it to him?

HAWKINS: Maybe, maybe not. I'm just saying. But anyway, why don't you
go check up on Jeb make sure he's doing alright.

LUKE: Sounds good.

[Luke walks to the door and exits, closing it behind him. Hawkins sits
down in one of the chairs and rotates his arms to loosen up.]

HAWKINS [to himself]: I hope I get a chance to meet Bollinger in the
ring. He's got another thing coming...

[A knock at the door interrupts Hawkins.]

HAWKINS: What the... come in!

[The door opens, and standing there, face to face with Hawkins, dressed
from head to toe in a yellow outfit so bright, it makes the sun
jealous, is King Karnage. Quickly realizing the situation, the royal
one says what's on his mind in a very succinct fashion.]

KK: ... oh, shit.

HAWKINS: Hey, KK, what's up?

[Without thinking, the King flops to the ground, and cowers into the
fetal position!]

KK: LOOKI'MSORRYITWASN'TMYFAULTIDIDN'TKNOWWHATWASGOINGONDON'TKILLME!!!

[Hawkins looks at the King with a sort of look of pity. After shaking
his head a few times, Hawkins bends down and grabs King Karnage,
lifting him to his feet.]

HAWKINS: Whoa, man, take a pill. Chill out, I'm not going to kill you
or anything. I'm not really even mad or anything. Well, not with you
anyway.

[Peeking his head out from his hands, his majesty speaks, in an uneasy
tone.]

KK: ...you're.... not....?

HAWKINS: Well, it was kind of embarrassing to lose to you... no offense
to his Majesty, of course, but you know you aren't the most able
wrestler here. But yeah, don't worry about it. I know it wasn't your
fault that Bollinger came down... that is unless you told him to...

[Hawkins gets kind of a skeptical look on his face, and grips KK's arm
tighter.]

KK: ow!

HAWKINS: Just to be sure... you didn't tell Bollinger to come down...
did you?

[Double K shakes his head, and actually looks disgusted by the
thought.]

KK: God no, why would I talk to him!? 

[Hawkins releases King karnage's arm, and slaps him on the back.]

KK: ow!

HAWKINS: Great then! no hard feelings after all. So, I hear you are
going out with your mom as your partner.

[The King leaps back, absolutely shocked at what Hawkins just said!]

KK: Whoa, whoa! Am I strange, yeah. Am I pretty much a tool, yeah. But
am I dating my mom!??! Absolutely not, you sick f--k!!!

HAWKINS: What? No! I didn't mean that! Even I don't think you would
stoop to that! That's something inbreed hicks like Bollinger do . . . I
mean you are teamed up with your mom for the AoA match.

[The King sighs.]

KK: Yeah. Not QUITE what I had in mind. 

HAWKINS: Yeah, that pretty much sucks. Well maybe you can get like the
sneak victory or something... you know, bulldog someone from out of
nowhere and get the pin... just a suggestion.

[A "matter-of-factly" look comes on the face of the royal one.]

KK: Well, as a matter of fact, I've been training! 

HAWKINS: You have? With whom, if I may ask?

[Still proud as ever, the King responds.]

KK: JT Damon!

HAWKINS: That's great!... who's that?

KK: He was one of the premiere superstars back in his day! ... Mind
you, uh, time hasn't been, er, too kind to him, butthat'snotthepoint!
Point is, he showed me a buncha cool moves and stuff!

HAWKINS: Well, in that case, who am I to judge His Majesty's choice of
trainer. I'm sure you'll do great. So, you are all ready then?

KK: Hell yeah! I even got a FINISHER!

HAWKINS: Really? What is it? What's it called?

[The king turns his head half-around in a bashful manner.]

KK: Wellll... I really shouldn't say.... 

HAWKINS: Come on... I won't tell anyone... that is before you unleash
it on some poor sap...

[A big smile comes over the youngster's face.]

KK: Well, I won't tell you WHAT it is.. But it's called the Devestating
Attack Making Opponents Numb!

[Hawkins starts to laugh, but quickly covers it up by having a fake
coughing fit.]

HAWKINS: ***cough*** Wow, Your Highness... ***cough*** ahem... that's
definitely something I don't want to have put on me... hey wait a
second, doesn't the first letter of each word spell out DAMON?

[Mr. Karnage rolls his eyes as if to say "Duh!"]

KK: Duh!

HAWKINS: Oh, right... well anyway, that sounds pretty powerful. You
must be a quick learner to pull off something so big so quickly.

[Clenching his fists, and gritting his teeth, the King responds with an
angry tone of voice.]

KK: Yeah, and I can't WAIT to unleash it on that douchebag Haley!!!

HAWKINS: Whoa there, still pretty ticked off at Haley, huh?

KK: Damn right, I am! And that slut girlfriend of his, too!

HAWKINS: Hold on there, Your Grace... I would be a little more careful
about saying stuff like that about Haley and Evelynn. I mean, you gotta
admit they are very capable people when it comes to wrestling.

[The King quickly shoots back a response, ever so full of wit.]

KK: Yeah, and they're also pretty capable people when it comes to being
douchebags.

[Hawkins laughs, but quickly replaces it with a serious look.]

HAWKINS: Yeah, well, hope you don't come across them if they are having
a bad day...

[The King takes a deep breath before his response.]

KK: Look, HAWKINS... Despite what you say, I'm not scared of that
self-centered prick Haley, and I'm CERTAINLY not scared of that wench
he hangs around with.

[Another deep breath.]

KK: Sooooooo.. If you wanna lecture me about the dangers of wrestling,
no need.. Haley and Evelynn were quick to let me get hospitalized.

[Hawkins is taken aback somewhat.]

HAWKINS: Hey, I was just lookin' out for ya'. Despite what you may
think, I am not on their side really. Sure, everyone loves Haley and
everyone drools over Evelynn, but you know what, who cares? It's the
guys like me and you who are out there working our butts off, trying to
get somewhere, while they are sitting around picking their noses and
crap. We deserve the praise. You and me. *But* you might be forgetting
something.

KK: What's that?

HAWKINS: You say Haley hasn't won a match since January, but you could
say technically he *did* beat you...

KK: GAH!!

[With that, The King throws his hands up in disgust, pivots 180°, and
storms out of the room.]

[Hawkins moves to the door.]

HAWKINS: But hey, King, we're still friends, right... right? ...King?

[Hawkins moves back in, chuckles, and shuts the door, before the camera
cuts back to the broadcast table.]

RM:  "Folks, we're inching closer and closer to the Apocalypse Match
with each passing moment!  Alexander Hawkins hasn't had the most
stellar record in the DCWL, but tonight could be his breakthrough
performance if he can seize victory in the Apocalypse Match!"

HP:  "Let's just say that Hawkins ain't even on Ol' Panzerotti's radar
as a potential winner.  If the dude even makes it to the top ten, I'm
gonna be one surprised, yet still incredibly sexy dude."

RM:  "The Steel Cage is completely assembled and secured now, and we're
set for the big title match!  Let's head to the ring!" 


**DING DING DING**

PA:  "The following contest is a STEEL CAGE MATCH, and is for the 
DCWL's GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP!  Introducing first, the challenger..."

(The lights go out in the arena.  As the screen lights up 'EPC', the 
boos begin to pour down from the rafters to the floor.  Three rotating 
profiles are shown on the video screen, one of Johnny Detson, one of 
Crimestarter Jim, and one of the Vindicator. The video screen then
shows Guido the Great shaking hands with the three and joining the
group, followed by a profile shot of Guido.  The video screen then
says, "Metropolitan MEGAstar", followed by 'The Vindicator'. Red and
green lasers form a very intricate V design at the entrance.)

PA:  "... from Parts Unknown, New Jersey, and weighing in at 275
pounds ... the Metropolitian MEGAstar, THE VINDICAAAAATOOOOOOOOR!!!"

(Vindy appears at the entranceway, wearing his PPV wrestling tights,
gold vinyl pants with maroon and green V's down the sides.  His hair is
tied up in a braid and he's all oiled up and ready to go.)

HP:  "My savior has arrived!"

RM:  "This terrible excuse for a human being has proven that he'll do 
anything for the Grand Championship, and I find little reason to doubt 
he'll behave any differently tonight, Hollywood."

HP:  "And that's just the way it *should* be, monkey humper!  I want a 
champion who values that title more than anything else, and Vindy 
definitely fits that description!"

(He makes his way down to the ring with a confident smirk on his face, 
and then the Metropolitan MEGAstar climbs up one side of the cage and 
poses for the fans before climbing back down into the ring.)

PA:  "And his opponent..."

(The lights in the arena go out (again), and in the complete blackness,
some camera flashes are seen. The video wall then lights up with the
words, in an elegant font "The New Classic" as a very soothing melody
plays over the loudspeakers. It is an elegant piece by Mozart, and it
is interrupted by the whispering voice of "The New Classic" himself,
Skye Ashner, as correspondingly a semi-transparent view of his face
appears on screen.) 

- "It will be in a sense... CLASSIC!" - 

(Suddenly, as POD's "Alive" begins to play over the DCWL arena sound 
system, the strobe lights on the ramp way illuminate the arena and
sends the fans to their feet. The video wall shifts from just the plain
writing to video clips of amazing acrobatics by Ashner. Strutting out
from behind the curtain comes Skye, wearing a black and gold silk
shirt. The shirt is unbuttoned, exposing his chiseled abs, and stunning
features, and also bears Japanese kanji all over it, including a large
symbol on the back subtitled with "CLASSIC." The gold kanji on the
shirt is in a metallic style, and reflects the flashing lights as Skye
stands on the ramp in a confident pose. His tights match the shirt,
with the same metallic gold kanji around the waist and a large kanji
also subtitled "CLASSIC" on each thigh. As the lyrics start, Ashner
points down the ramp with his index fingers with a smirk and a nod and
begins to walk down it. And as he walks down the ramp, a sole spotlight
follows him.)

RM:  "Well, if you want to talk about a man who values the Grand 
Championship, I'd say you have a pretty good candidate here in Skye
Ashner."

HP:  "Are you kidding me?  Not only is this idiot more concerned about 
being nice than winning matches, but he didn't even really *earn* the 
title he's wearing.  Hell, King Karnage could probably be the Grand 
Champion if he'd gotten a match against Dale that night!"

RM:  "I'm not *quite* sure about that, Hollywood... although I will 
admit that he didn't face Stanwycz while he was at the top of his game.
 But there isn't a doubt in my mind that he's going to make the DCWL
proud during his first defense of the title this evening."

HP:  "Yeah, proud when he drops the belt to a champion we can *really* 
be glad about!"

# Every day is a new day! # 
# I'm thankful for every breath I take! # 
# I won't take it for granted, (I won't take it for granted) # 
# So I learn from my mistakes # 
# It's beyond my control, sometimes it's best to let go # 
# Whatever happens in this lifetime # 
# So I trust in love, (So I Trust in Love...) # 
# You have given me peace of mind... #  

PA:  "... hailing from Kyoto Japan, weighing in at 189 pounds ... He is
the DCWL GRAND CHAMPION . . . here is 'THE NEEEEEEEEW CLASSIC'... 
SKKKYEEEE AAAAAAAAASSSSHHNEEEEEERRR!"

(Skye gets about halfway down the ramp, then he starts reaching over 
the guardrails slapping the hands of the DCWL fan base, smiling as he 
walks down to the ring. As he finishes his strut down the ramp, he jogs
around the cage, pointing out to the fans, who respond with generous
ovation.)

HP:  "See what I'm talking about? Instead of running around wasting 
energy on these stupid fans, he should already be inside that ring and 
taking it to Vindy! THAT, Manning, is why he's not going to be wearing
the Grand Championship when this match is over.  His priorities are
screwed up."

RM:  "I beg to differ with you there, Hollywood, but this is definitely
going to be a brutal match on both sides; cage matches naturally have a
higher level of violence, and considering the history between these
two, I think this one's going to be particularly nasty."

HP:  "It'd *better* be!  That's what I'm here for, dammit!"

# I . . . # 
# I feel so ALIVE! # 
# For the very first time, I can't deny you. # 
# I feel so alive . . . # 
# I . . . # 
# I feel so ALIVE! # 
# For the very first time, (for the very first time) # 
# ..and I think I can FLY! # 

(After reveling in the crowd's ovation for a few more moments, Skye 
finally turns and enters the cage through the door.  Ashner strips off
the belt and hands it to the referee, who holds it up in the air before
handing it off to an attendant at ringside, and calling for the bell!)


**DING DING DING**

As soon as the bell rings, 
the Vindicator charges Skye with a clothesline,
But Ashner ducks under the arm and slides around behind Vindy,
And as Vindy stands back up and turns around to face Ashner,
Skye lays into the Vindicator's chest with some stiff karate chops!
The EPC member hisses with pain, 
as his pectorals begin to glow red from the abuse,
With the crowd giving a loud "WHOOOO!" for every smack Ashner makes.
Then Ashner grabs the Vindicator by the arm, 
and flings him at the ropes,
Hitting the self-proclaimed MEGAstar upon his return with a dropkick.
Vindy quickly scrambles back up to his feet, 
with frustration on his face,
But Skye immediately takes him right back down, 
with a spinning heel kick,
And drops down to the mat to climb on top of the Vindicator,
Putting his fists into the face of the number one contender!

RM:  "Ashner off to a quick start in this one, and the crowd is going 
crazy for him!"

HP:  "Damn it, Vindy, stop playing around with this idiot!"

After he gives a few more punches to the head of the Vindicator,
Skye Ashner gets to his feet, 
and pulls his slightly-dazed opponent up as well,
And then he shoves Vindy into the nearest wall of the cage,
The metal clanging loudly, 
as the Vindicator slams into the unforgiving links of steel.
With an uncharacteristic expression of fury on his face,
Ashner grabs Vindy by the hair and rakes his face across the cage,
Drawing the first blood in the match, 
far earlier than one might have expected.
As the early makings of a crimson mask begin to flow,
Skye sends him careening into the opposite ropes with an Irish whip,
Then as the Vindicator comes running back to him,
Pulls him up and over with a snap suplex, and goes for a quick pin.
The referee counts:

ONE!

...

...

...

...

...

TWO--KICKOUT!

RM:  "A quick two-count there, but it's clear that this match might be 
quite a bit rougher than the Vindicator expected.  Skye's fighting with
an edge that I'm not sure I've seen in him before."

HP:  "Of course it was quick, Manning.  There's no *way* he's going to 
pin Vindy, especially this early in the match!  He may be a little more
vicious than usual, but that just means he's fighting like a rat 
instead of a mouse.  He's out of his league with a lion like the
Vindicator!"

Not wasting any time complaining about the speed of the count,
Ashner immediately gets back up to his feet, 
and begins to ascend the turnbuckle,
Pulling himself up with the rings of the steel cage walls,
Which allow Skye to climb up the corner far more quickly than usual.
By the time Vindy has gotten to his feet, 
Skye's poised and ready,
Waiting for the Vindicator to turn around and face him directly.
After wiping some of the blood from his face, 
Vindy does just that,
And Ashner leaps off the turnbuckle and grabs the EPC member's head,
Twisting on the way down, 
to bring him down with a reverse tornado DDT,
Stiffly spiking the Vindicator's head right into the mat.
The crowd roars for Skye's early string of success in the match,
While Ashner climbs right back up to his feet to press the advantage.

RM:  "We're a good five minutes into this match, and Skye Ashner is 
still firmly in control, far moreso than even I expected of him."

HP:  "Don't you worry about a thing, Manning, that won't last long.  
It's only a matter of time before--ah, there we are!"

Motion at the top of the entrance ramp draws the attention of the fans,
And their cheers turn to jeers, 
as two figures emerge from the curtain,
Their identities becoming clear: 
CRIMESTARTER JIM and THE EQUALIZER.
Boos rain down as the two men saunter down the ramp towards the cage,
Heckling the crowd and taunting the fans the entire way there.
Skye Ashner easily notices the shift in the crowd's reaction,
Which causes his own gaze to drift over towards the ramp.
He eyes both men warily, 
with an understandable amount of suspicion,
And the smile on his lips fades into a very distinct frown.

RM:  "This is terrible!  The last thing we need is to have another
Grand Champion crowned by the virtue of cheating and outside
assistance!"

HP:  "Hey, that's life, Manning.  You get it however you can, 
and--HEY!!"

The crowd roars once more, 
as TAWNY BLAKE comes charging down the ramp,
And stops both Crimestarter Jim and The Equalizer at the bottom,
Showing no fear at all as she starts yelling in their face,
Telling them not to get involved nor to interfere with the match!
The two EPC members bristle at the fiery blonde's words,
And for a moment it looks like they're about to gang up on her,
But then MATT COLE comes strolling down the entrance ramp,
And the cheers are redoubled, 
as the odds are suddenly evened up.
Jim and the Equalizer turn away and head down to the ringside area,
As both Tawny and Matt follow them down to keep an eye on them.

RM:  "And it looks like the unlikely pair of Tawny Blake and Matt Cole 
will keep an eye on Crimestarter Jim and the Equalizer, and make sure 
Ashner doesn't lose the belt because of any shenanigans on their part!"

Tawny gives Ashner a quick wave, 
before she and Cole settle in at ringside,
Keeping an eye on Jim and Equalizer as they get comfortable too,
Setting up steel chairs on the opposite side of the cage and sitting.
Confident in Tawny and Matt's ability to keep an eye on the EPC,
Skye turns back around to focus his attention on the Vindicator,
Who has just gotten back up to his feet, 
and is still a bit wobbly.
Ashner grabs Vindy's arm to Irish whip him to the ropes once more,
But this time the Vindicator twists under, 
and grabs Skye by the waist,
And pulls Ashner up and over his head in a quick German suplex,
Planting the New Classic's head into the mat without remorse.

HP:  "HA! Now THAT'S what Ol' Panzerotti is talkin' about!"

RM:  "Well, his EPC allies might not have directly attacked Skye, but 
they definitely distracted him long enough for the Vindicator to catch 
his breath there, and it looks like he's back in this match!"

Without releasing Ashner's waist after the first German suplex,
The Vindicator rolls himself back up to a standing position,
And lifts Skye once more, 
taking him back over in a second suplex.
This time, though, he releases Ashner's body halfway through,
Sending Skye flying into the metal walls of the cage, face-first!
The impact busts open Skye's face, and he begins to bleed;
Within a few moments, his face is as bloody as his opponent's.
Not letting up, Vindy grabs the legs of the fallen New Classic,
And begins to turn him over into a Boston Crab submission,
Pulling back hard on the hold to secure it in,
His sneer clearly visible through the blood on his face.

RM:  "The Vindicator has firmly taken control of this match now, and 
Skye Ashner's in a world of hurt right now!"

HP:  "You know, normally, I'm not a big fan of submission wrestling,
but anytime that kabuki fairy is writhing in pain, it's a good thing, 
Manning."

Skye cries out in pain through his own red mask of blood,
As Crimestarter Jim and the Equalizer watch on with amusement,
While Tawny Blake clearly displays her concern for the champion.
The Vindicator holds the submission for a few more seconds,
Then stands to his feet, 
but continues to hold Skye's right leg.
Vindy lifts the leg back up, high above his own head,
Pulling Ashner almost entirely off the surface of the mat,
Before slamming the leg back down to earth,
Plowing the right knee into the ground as hard as he can.
Skye lets out another cry through clenched teeth,
But Vindy doesn't show any mercy as he lifts the leg once more,
And begins grinding the knee against the steel cage wall.

RM:  "It looks like the Vindicator is targeting Ashner's right knee, 
which probably STILL hasn't fully healed from the relentless abuse he
gave it at Elite Tradition!"

HP:  "Of course he is, Manning!  Helen Keller could see that!"

As the Vindicator continues to shred Ashner's right knee,
Skye's desperately flailing left boot kicks him in the face,
Causing Vindy to release Skye's leg as he falls to the mat.
Ashner starts to stand but flinches with pain halfway up,
Wincing as his knee refuses to hold his weight fully.
He uses the ropes to pull himself back up to his feet,
Favoring his left leg in the process of doing so,
But the Vindicator brings him right back down with a drop toe hold,
And floats over Skye's body to secure an STF on the New Classic,
Putting pressure on his neck and that right leg at the same time.
Ashner clenches his hand into a fist as he wriggles and writhes,
Trying to fight the pain and escape the submission hold.

RM:  "With that knee slowing him down, it's going to be hard for Ashner
to get back in this one, folks!"

HP:  "He was NEVER in this one, Manning!  Vindy was just toying with
him before, and now Skye's realizing just how far in over his head he 
really is!  He's *never* been good enough to compete at this level, and
that's not going to change now!"

The concern on Tawny Blake's face grows more pronounced,
And even the impassive Matt Cole displays a bit of unease,
As Skye cries out again, 
blood dripping from his face to the mat.
Hatred and malice is clearly visible on the Vindicator's own face,
Even through the now-thick mask of blood that he currently wears.
His rage causes him to quickly grow impatient with the submission,
And he releases the hold and gets back up to his feet,
Pulling Ashner back up to a standing position in the process.
Vindy puts the Grand Champion in a standing headscissors,
But before he can do anything else to Ashner,
Skye stands straight up as quickly as he can,
Dumping the Vindicator over his back in a back body drop!

RM:  "Ashner manages to put a stop to the Vindicator's string of 
offense!"

HP:  "You and these fans are just kidding yourselves, Manning.  You 
really think Skye's in any shape to do ANYTHING to Vindy now?"

For once, Hollywood's words prove to have a bit of wisdom in them,
As Ashner immediately stumbles from the pain in his right leg,
Desperately clinging to the ropes to keep from falling over again.
The Vindicator stands back up to his feet far more quickly,
And Skye lunges at his nemesis as best as he can,
With something that looks like a half-clothesline, half-stumble,
Refusing to go down just yet but clearly in severe pain.
Vindy easily catches Ashner and flips him up and over,
Taking him down to the mat with a quick armdrag.
He spends a couple of moments flexing and posing,
Which gets a big laugh out of Jim and the Equalizer,
Before the Vindicator cockily puts a foot on Skye for the pin.

ONE!

...

...

...

...

...

TW--KICKOUT!

Ashner brings his shoulder up off the mat with authority,
Getting out of the pin before the second count even arrives.
Angrily, the Vindicator reaches down and flips Ashner over,
And then seats himself on the small of Ashner's back.
He puts both of his legs under the New Classic's arms,
Then wraps them around the back of Skye's head,
Pushing down on the neck of the Grand Champion.
Both of his own arms reach down to grab Ashner's own,
And he pulls both of Skye's arms back and around,
In something very closely resembling Capitol Punishment.
Once more, Skye finds himself trapped in a painful submission.

RM:  "And the Vindicator has put the Vindi-Lock on Skye Ashner!  He may
be in trouble here!"

HP:  "Manning, you monkey-humper, have you not heard a thing I've said 
this whole time?  He was in trouble as soon as he stepped into the 
ring!"

Vindy holds the submission on Ashner for a number of seconds,
But when it becomes clear that the champion isn't going to tap,
A furious Vindicator again loses his patience and releases the hold.
He pulls Skye back up to his feet and forces his head down,
Putting the New Classic into a standing headscissors,
And this time, he doesn't waste any time in finishing the move.
The Vindicator lifts Skye high over his head and then charges forward,
Taking a few steps before dropping him with a running powerbomb,
Causing the blood-stained mat to shake with the force of the impact.
Jeers continue to rain down as the Vindicator goes for the pin.

ONE!

...

...

...

...

...

TWO!

...

...

...

KICKOUT!

Shaking his head in disbelief, the Vindicator slowly gets back up,
Both men growing a bit sluggish now from the loss of blood.
Quickly, he waves at his EPC partners and shouts something to them,
To which they nod, and then the two of them split up,
With Jim going one way around the cage and the Equalizer the other.
Tawny and Cole quickly take notice, and do the same,
With Matt heading around to stop the Equalizer's advance.
The Vindicator drags Ashner towards the cage door,
Motioning for Jim to slam it shut on Ashner's head,
But before he gets to the door, Ashner shoves the Vindicator off,
And plants the self-styled MEGAstar with a sharp superkick!

RM:  "The Vindicator is DOWN!  And this crowd is going crazy for its 
Grand Champion!"

HP:  "Damn it, how the hell did he DO that?"

It would seem that Skye is in a similar state of disbelief,
As is Crimestarter Jim, as well as the DCWL's First Lady.
Ashner slumps over the ropes and begins making his way to the door,
But Jim reacts first and grabs a nearby steel chair,
Slamming it into the metal door and breaking the mechanism,
Which results in jamming the door shut, cutting off Skye's escape.
Just as quickly, CSJ backs away from the inoperative door,
Holding the chair defensively as an angry Tawny Blake approaches.
Her gaze drifts over to the other side of the steel cage,
Where Cole and the Equalizer stand toe-to-toe, nose-to-nose,
Neither man willing to budge an inch for the other,
And then--to Skye, who's somehow finding the strength to climb.

RM:  "I don't believe this!  In spite of all that damage to his right 
leg, Skye Ashner is still willing himself up the side of this cage!"

HP:  "Damn it, Vindy, get up! GET UP!"

Ashner is beginning to make his way up toward the top of the cage,
Although it's with a lack of speed as agonizing as the pain in his leg.
Tawny, Cole, Jim, and the Equalizer can do little more than watch,
As the Grand Champion fights the sting in his right knee,
And the loss of blood from the open wounds on his face.
His hand slips as he reaches for one of the steel links,
Covered as it is by his own blood, and that of the Vindicator,
Causing him to fall a foot or so before he catches himself,
And continues to climb once more, defying his body's aches.
But now the Vindicator is beginning to stir on the mat below,
With Skye three-fourths of the way up the wall of the cage.

RM:  "He's nearly there, Hollywood, but I don't know if he's going to 
make it before the Vindicator spots him!"

HP:  "Don't let HIM beat you, for crying out loud!  How the hell am I 
supposed to respect you if you lose to freaking Skye Ashner?"

Tawny Blake spots the Vindicator getting to his feet inside the cage,
And shouts a warning upwards to the New Classic,
Who glances down at his opponent, clenches his teeth,
And then continues to climb, keeping his eye on the top of the wall.
But Crimestarter Jim and the Equalizer shout warnings of their own,
And when he spots Ashner nearly at the top of the cage,
He quickly begins to climb the steel cage wall himself,
Moving at a rate that easily triples that of the champion.
Skye reaches the top of the wall first, and puts one leg over,
But he has trouble putting his weight on the injured knee,
And before he can get himself out of the ring completely,
The Vindicator has already reached the top of the wall as well.

RM:  "The Vindicator's caught up to Skye Ashner, and it looks like the 
first one to get over the top will win the DCWL Grand Championship!"

HP:  "It's going to the EPC, baby!  I can feel it!"

The crowd is going beserk as both men straddle the steel cage wall,
Desperately using their arms to push and shove off each other,
Each trying to force the other to tumble back into the ring below.
The referee observes the two combatants atop the cage,
As do the other four DCWL superstars at ringside,
Watching them pull and nudge each other back and forth,
Jostling for better leverage from their precarious position.
An overly aggressive shove from the Vindicator puts him off-balance,
And the New Classic capitalizes by tugging him to the side,
But Vindy puts his full weight into Ashner's body,
Causing them BOTH to spill over the side and out of the cage,
Falling together to the ground below!!

...

...

...

...

...

...

*! CRRAAASSH !*

RM:  "Who landed first?  Who hit the ground first?  I couldn't tell, 
Hollywood, it was so close!"

HP:  "Are you kidding me? Of COURSE it was the Vindicator!  Didn't you 
see the way he adjusted himself mid-fall to get lower than Ashner!  
Brilliant!"

RM:  "That's not even physically possible, Hollywood.  At any rate, it 
looks like the referee has walked to the side of the cage to announcer 
the winner to the ring announcer, and we'll have the answer here in
just a second... here we go."


**DING DING DING**

PA:  "Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has ruled that both men touched
the ground at the SAME time, and therefore, the result is ... A
DRAAAAAAW!!!"

(Both Asher and the Vindicator start to climb to their feet, looking at
each other with disgust, as boos rain down for the decision.)

PA:  "HOWEVER ... this contest MUST have a winner, by order of the 
Commissioner, and thus, both men must return to the cage to continue
the match!  Neither man is eligible to win until he has entered the
cage and touched the mat with both feet!"


**DING DING DING**

RM: "Unbelievable!  The match is still going!"

HP: "No freaking way!"

The crowd gives a huge pop for this surprise announcement,
And realization appears on the bloody faces of both men!
Quickly, the Vindicator makes a run for the cage door,
Planning to hurry in and out before Ashner can even get there,
But the evidence of Crimestarter Jim's dirty work remains:
The door is still jammed shut, and Vindy can't force it open.
Meanwhile, Skye, aware of the door's current inoperative state,
Has already begun scaling the wall of the cage to get inside,
A good bit more quickly than he did to escape the first time.
But the Vindicator starts to climb right behind him,
And he's still ascending quite faster than the New Classic.

RM:  "Ashner's almost at the top of the cage, but the Vindicator is 
right behind him once again!"

HP:  "Vindy's mad, now... this time, there's going to be no question 
about who's the winner, you can count on that much."

Once again, Ashner is the first one to get a leg over the wall,
But once again, the Vindicator is right behind him.
Again, the two combatants shove back and forth,
Each of them trying to get better positioning on the other,
This time attempting to force the other out of the cage,
To prevent him from entering the ring again.
An angry Vindicator puts too much of his weight into a push,
And Ashner again makes the best of it,
Twisting him around and dumping him off the cage wall,
But he falls INTO the cage instead of out of it,
And lands with a loud crash on the mat below!

HP:  "YES! Vindy's the first man back inside the ring!"

RM:  "He hasn't won yet, Hollywood.  Either he beats Ashner in the
cage, or he's the first one to escape, and right now, it doesn't look
like he's going anywhere."

Indeed, the Vindicator lies prone on the mat below,
As Ashner looks down on him from the top of the cage.
He starts to climb over and down, but stops himself.
The New Classic's eyes light up as he starts to stand,
Holding the corner support beam of the cage,
And balancing himself on the narrow top of the wall.
The crowd is going nuts, and he looks out at them,
Giving his fans a smile and a jaunty salute,
Before giving his elbow a good solid tap.
Flashbulbs go off around the arena in bulk,
Capturing the moment as Ashner goes airborne.

...

...

Ashner cocks his elbow, aiming for the Vindicator's heart...

...

...

...

*! CRRAAASSH !*

RM:  "NO!"

HP:  "YES!!! HA!!!!"

RM:  "HE MISSED!  The Vindicator rolled out of the way at the last 
minute!  And the New Classic is DOWN!"

The Grand Champion bounces off the canvas forcefully,
And his body curls into a heap in the middle of the ring,
As he holds his ribs and winces from the incredible pain.
The Vindicator continues to roll until he reaches the ropes,
And then he uses them to pull himself back up.
Somehow, Ashner manages to get back to his feet as well,
And the two men give each other a cold, hateful gaze;
Both of them are obviously weary, but giving no quarter.
Their bodies are covered in both blood and sweat,
As is the surface of the mat they both stand upon.
Neither Ashner nor the Vindicator moves for a long moment,
As they use this desperately-needed break to catch their breath,
The calm in the eye of the hurricane.

RM:  "With both men back inside the cage now, it's anybody's match to 
win!"

HP:  "Yes, monkey-humper, if by 'anybody,' you mean 'the Vindicator,' 
then you would be right."

RM:  "Both of these men have put up a hard fight, Hollywood, but one of
them has to want it more here!"

Both combatants sense the end of the short respite from battle,
And they charge each other at the same time.
Ashner and the Vindicator trade punches back and forth,
Fighting exhaustion as vehmently as they fight each other.
Vindy grabs Skye by the hair and quickly locks up with him,
Before transferring his weight and slipping behind Ashner.
But the New Classic violently kicks his leg up and back,
His boot slamming right between the Vindicator's legs.
The Cosmopolitan Castrati doubles over behind Ashner,
Holding his prized Vinditestes in his hands.

HP:  "OUCH!  Don't rub 'em, Vindy, count 'em!"

Quickly, Skye spins around to face the Vindicator,
And pulls his opponent down into a standing headscissors.
After securing a double underhook on Vindy's arms,
He lifts him and slams him back down to the mat, back-first.

RM:  "Tiger driver on the Vindicator, and this may be it, folks!"

ONE!

...

...

...

...

...

TWO!

...

...

...

...

...

THR--KICKOUT!

A clearly drained Vindicator barely kicks out of the pin attempt,
And rolls off to the side, still clutching his crotch,
His face scrunched up in excruciating pain beneath his mask of blood.
Ashner lies on the red-stained mat, rapidly gasping for air,
Looking up at the lights as the crowd begins to chant his name:
"ASH-NER!  ASH-NER!  ASH-NER!  ASH-NER!  ASH-NER!"
After only a moment more of rest, Skye kicks himself up onto his feet,
The crowd cheering as Ashner looks across the ring at his opponent,
Who has used the ropes to pull himself to his feet once more,
And glares back at Skye with an equal amount of malice.

RM:  "These two men have to be running on empty, Hollywood, but their 
hatred for each other is even stronger than their exhaustion!"

HP: "Hey, when Skye Ashner's involved, it's pretty easy to hate that 
much!"

Ashner charges the Vindicator and hits him with a vicious spear,
Slamming him back into the cage at a rather awkward angle.
Vindy coughs blood down onto the back of the Grand Champion,
Writhing from the spear's impact, shredding his back on the cage.
But he digs down deep and ignores the pain as best as he can,
And he manages to lock his arms around Ashner's waist.
Gritting his teeth, and groaning with exertion,
The Vindicator hoists Skye upwards, over his head,
And holds the New Classic across his own shoulders;
Once again, Ashner finds himself looking up at the lights,
But this time, Vindy's holding him in a torture rack.

RM:  "I don't know how the Vindicator found the strength to pull Ashner
up, but this doesn't look good for the champion!"

HP:  "Because Vindy has the *heart* of a champion, Manning.  Something
YOU won't ever understand."

The Vindicator stumbles around the ring as he tries to gain control,
Now fighting a struggling Ashner as well as his own pain.
He wobbles about a bit, 
like an Olympic weightlifter going for the gold,
And once it seems that he's gotten his feet under himself,
He charges at the nearest wall of the steel cage,
And shoves Ashner's head right between the metal bars,
Causing Skye's shoulders and neck to slam into the cage itself.
Then he pulls the New Classic back out of the cage wall,
And he spins halfway around before falling to his side,
Bringing Ashner's neck into the canvas with an inverted DVD!
Bruised and bloodied, the Vindicator rolls Skye onto his back,
And hooks a leg, not taking any chances with THIS pinfall.

RM: "This has to be it, folks."

HP: "New champion!  New champion!  EPC brings home the gold!"

ONE!
..

..

Vindy puts one leg up the cage for extra leverage...

..

..

TWO!

..

..

The Vindicator hooks his other leg, for insurance...

..

..

THREE!!

NO!!! SHOULDER UP!

HP:  "What the... How the HELL did he do THAT?"

RM:  "How's THAT for a heart of champion, Hollywood?"

Frustrated beyond belief, the Vindicator rolls off Skye Ashner,
And slams his fist down upon the bloodied canvas violently.
After a moment, he begins to slowly pull himself to his feet,
Once again using the ropes for support as he starts to stand.
He looks down at the New Classic, who's bleeding even more now,
With a heavy stream of blood coming down from his brow,
The thick red fluid seeping into Ashner's left eye.
Vindy seizes his opportunity and begins to climb the cage wall,
Rung by rung, moving so slowly that it seems like slow-motion,
Unable to ascend any faster in his current state.
Skye slowly begins to stir, but he's only barely moving now.

HP: "One step at a time, Vindy.  That kabuki fairy is on his back like
a two-dollar hooker, and I don't think he's getting up for a LONG
time."

RM: "You may be right, Hollywood.  Ashner doesn't look like he's
getting up from that devastating Inverted Death Valley Driver, and even
if he does, that blood in his eye will make it nearly impossible for
him to see well enough to stop the Vindicator now."

The crowd senses that the Vindicator, and as a result, the EPC,
Is only a few moments away from capturing the Grand Championship,
And they begin to chant for the New Classic once more:
"ASH-NER!  ASH-NER!  ASH-NER!  ASH-NER!  ASH-NER!"
It only spurs the Vindicator to climb even more quickly,
But as he chances a glance down to the mat below him,
He sees his opponent responding to the cheers of his fans.
Skye Ashner is beginning to climb to his feet once again.
The champion moves slowly at first, but he picks up speed,
And soon he's managed to pull himself back up.
Anxiously, the Vindicator begins to climb more quickly,
But his bloodied hand loses its grip and slips off the bar,
Causing him to dangle from the cage, using only one arm.

HP: "NO! DAMN IT! Climb, Vindy, CLIMB!"

RM: "I don't believe it!  Skye Ashner is back on his feet and he's
beginning to climb the steel cage!"

As he ascends the cage wall, Ashner begins to gain on Vindy,
Just as the Vindicator did to him twice earlier in the match.
The self-titled MEGAstar manages to get both hands on the cage,
And he begins to climb once more, racing Skye to the top.
But just as Vindy reaches the apex of the cage wall,
And begins to pull himself over and out of the steel structure,
Ashner manages to get ahold of his boot, and begins tugging.
The Vindicator desperately tries to kick Skye away,
But the Grand Champion doesn't let up his grip one bit,
Actually using Vindy's own leg to pull himself up.
Skye's full weight is too much for Vindy to handle,
Especially considering the condition he's currently in,
And he slips off the cage, tumbling back down to the mat,
landing with a massive thud onto the canvas!

HP: "NO!  THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!"

RM: "That's it!  Skye Ashner has this match won!  All he has to do
is--wait..."

HP: "What the hell?"

Ashner looks down over his shoulder at the unmoving Vindicator,
Laid out in a broken, bloody mess at the center of the ring.
He climbs to final two feet to the top of the cage,
But instead of swinging himself over the edge and climbing down,
He uses the corner support beam of the cage to pull himself up,
Balancing himself on the narrow top of the cage wall.

RM: "He's not going down the cage!  He's getting to his feet!"

HP: "I can't believe it!  That MORON is going to try to jump down on
Vindy AGAIN?"

The crowd's chant reaches a deafening pitch as he turns around,
Facing his fans, and smiles through his thick mask of blood,
His left eye nearly swollen shut from the irritation.
"ASH-NER!  ASH-NER!  ASH-NER!  ASH-NER!  ASH-NER!"

HP: "He must have taken one too many hits to the head.  We saw how well
this worked for him before!  He could win the match right NOW if he
wanted, and he's jumping back down there?!  Is he INSANE!?!"

The referee, Tawny Blake, Matt Cole, Jim, and the Equalizer,
Along with the thousands of DCWL fans in attendance,
Can do nothing but watch as Ashner raises his arms,
And then springboards off the top of the cage.

RM: "HE JUMPED!"

Flashbulbs go off all around the arena once more,
And the light is blindingly bright this time,
As Ashner backflips through the air,
And twists himself around as he falls to the mat,
Extending his left leg and aiming it for Vindy's chest.

RM: "LIFE'S VELOCITY!  LIFE'S VELOCITY OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE!!!"

HP: "Damn it... no..."

..

..

..

..

..

..

*! WHHAAAAMMM !*

HP: "NO!"

RM: "HE CONNECTS!!!  ASHNER ROLLS OVER FOR THE PIN!"

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..


THREE!!!


** DING DING DING **

PA:  "Here is your winner ... and STILL the DCWL GRAND CHAMPION ...
'THE NEW CLASSIC' SKYEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAASHNER!!!"

(The crowd erupts into cheers, while both wrestlers remain motionless
on the canvas.  As the referee retrieves the Grand Championship belt,
Ashner slowly rolls off of The Vindicator's body, his body clearly
aching from this second drop from the top of the cage.  Vindy remains
physically stunned on the canvas, still unable to move from his
defeated position.)

RM:  "Skye Ashner has FINALLY defeated The Vindicator!  No excuses, no
interference, just a clean pinfall!  If they didn't believe it before,
now the whole World knows ... Skye Ashner is the real deal!  The Grand
Champion of the DCWL!"

HP:  "I swear, Manning ... I watched the footage, and I'm freaking
POSITIVE that Vindy touched the floor first during that double drop
earlier in the match!  Again, The Vindicator has been robbed by the
crooked referees of the DCWL, dammit!"

(Several referees are now out at ringside, trying to release the cage
door from its jammed state, as the in-ring official returns with the
title belt, handing it to a groggy Ashner.  Looking up and out to the
crowd, he holds the belt aloft to another deafening cheer!  Ashner sees
the door being unjammed, but instead begins to climb the steel cage
wall for his exit route!  The crowd is on its feet as Ashner holds up
the title belt at the top of the cage!)

RM:  "What a defining moment in Skye Ashner's career!  With the dark
cloud of his Supercard losing streak looming overhead, Ashner had a lot
more to prove than The Vindicator, and he overcame the odds to score
the victory!"

HP:  "As great as the EPC is, they're gonna have to do some serious
regrouping before their participation in the Apocalypse Match.  But I
got faith in Crimestarter Jim and Johnny Detson, dammit!  The Elite
Players will not leave Tampa without Championship Gold!"

RM:  "Folks, our ring crew needs to disassemble the Steel Cage before
we can begin the Apocalypse Match, so let's head backstage briefly, one
last time!"

[ We cut backstage.]

[ The camera opens up in the locker room. Jess Bollinger has just
finished lacing up his boots. He notices the camera and turns around, 
his features taking on a completely focused nature.]

JB: Here we are. Merely hours away from perhaps the most insane match 
in the DCWL...

The Ark of Apocolypes!

[ The fans in the arena pop at the mention of the big match.]

JB: This will be my second time taking part in this crazy match. Now 
let ol JB give ya a little history lesson. Remember last year? No one
expected me to walk out of that match a winner. Hell Wu or Jam 
probably had better odds then me. The expectation was that I'd at least
put up a good fight.

Did I?

_HELL NO_!

I was a waste. A piece of trash. I went out there with some sissy ass
weapon and got my ass handed to me. I could blame my partner for the
loss. Dez Carter is a worthless bastard...

But JB doesn't blame others.

[ He smirks.]

JB: My life was in a shambles at that point and time. I was off my 
game.

So here we are yet again. Jess Bollinger is entering the Apocolypse, 
one more time.

[ Jess Frowns.]

JB: I was all set to make some waves. I hade a great partner lined up.
Some guy who wanted to make an impact for his debut. So naturally he
asked me to let him be my partner. What better way to turn some heads?
It's no surprise the kid wanted to team up with "The Rage." I may
flounder a bit. I may have some bad times out but...

When I'm on, I'm on!

[ He chuckles.]

JB: So everything was set. However once again the Apocolypse curse hit 
in full force. This man decided to go MIA. He didn't return my calls or
emails. So now JB is left without a partner.

The DCWL brass assures me that they'll be sending someone out there to
cover me.  But the fact is I don't care if they send out a former world
champ or just a curtain jerker. JB doesn't need a partner. It's every
man for themselves in this match. 

[ Jess places his elbow pads on.]

JB: Jess Bollinger is not in this match to win. All I'm looking to do 
is break some bones and bust some jaws. Titles don't mean a damn to me.
 I'm here to fight and win or lose, I'll give it my all. Just like I do
in every match.

Old JB isn't the flashiest or the most technically sound man in the 
DCWL. What I am is bar none one of the strongest men you'll ever see.
No matter the outcome, rest assured I'm going to make an impact.

[ JB smiles apparently just thinking of something.]

JB: Oh and Alexander Hawkins?

I'm looking forward to meeting you in this match. We've got a lot of
unfinished business, boy.

[ Fade as Jess exits the locker room.  The camera cuts back to the
broadcast table.]

RM:  "Amazing!  The Apocalypse Match is about to begin, and Jess
Bollinger has been deserted by his partner!"

HP:  "Who the hell can depend on a freaking partner in this kind of
match, anyways?!  There's only one thing you can trust in ... and
that's the PLUNDAH!!!"

RM:  "And on that note, let's hit the ring!  IT'S TIME!"


**DING DING DING**

PA:  "Ladies and Gentlemen ... it is now time for the APOCALYPSE MATCH!
  All thirty participants have been assigned entrance numbers, of which
fifteen have drawn random weapons to bring into the match.  Elimination
can occur either by pinfall, or being thrown over the top rope with
both feet touching the floor below.  And now ... the entrant who was
assigned NUMBER ONE in the Apocalypse Match ... here is One Half of the
NEW DCWL Tag Team Champions ... MARK HAAAALEEEEEEY!!!"

(The intro to Creed's "What If" begins to flow over the crowd, a guitar
and a bass playing counterpoint to each other, causing the fans to go
into a frenzy. The music builds, with both instruments building in
volume, until a short drum roll and a sharp guitar lick suddenly break
the steady rhythmic tide.) 

# I can't find the rhyme in all my reason #
# Lost sense of time and all seasons #
# Feel I've been beaten down #
# By the words of men who have no grounds # 
# Can't sleep beneath the trees of wisdom #
# When your axe has cut the roots that feed them #
# Forked tongues in bitter mouths #
# Can drive a man to bleed from inside out # 

(Emerging from the backstage area, Mark Haley appears in just his
wrestling tights, gloves, elbow and knee pads, with no other
paraphernalia, to an explosive cheer from the capacity crowd!  Haley
barely recognizes the crowd reaction, as he walks to the ring with a
slight limp, showing some signs of a weakened back from the earlier Tag
Team match with Evelynn.) 

# What if you did? #
# What if you lied? # 
# What if I avenge? #
# What if eye for an eye? # 

(Haley rolls into the ring with no further fanfare, and immediately
heads to a corner and adjusts his elbow pads and gloves, mentally
preparing for the potentially long haul that awaits him.) 

PA:  "And now ... the wrestler who drew NUMBER TWO!"

(The video wall has a black background.  A red blood circle draws
itself and about 2 seconds later a Silver sword slams thru the middle
as "Locked and Loaded" by Jackyl kicks in thru the speakers.) 

PA:  "Here is the second entrant in the Apocalypse Match ... the
reigning DCWL Platinum Champion ... MATT COOOOOOLE!!!"

(Matt Cole walks up and starts to head towards the ring.  Cole is
dressed in a black T-shirt with the Bloodcircle Motorcycles logo on the
front.  Cole's once-long mane of black hair has been shortened to a
more mullet type cut. He is also wearing a faded pair of blue jeans and
his knee high marine jump boots. His right hand is in a glove-like
hand brace.  In his other hand, Matt holds a black nightstick, which he
holds loosely at his side as he walks towards the ring, with a look of
total focus as he stares at Mark Haley.)

RM:  "Unbelievable!  Matt Cole draws number two in the Apocalypse, and
now we've got two of the three Champions involved in the match starting
out!"

HP:  "Ol' Panzerotti's got a feeling that neither of these idiots are
gonna make it out of the match with their titles!  YEAH!"

(Cole enters the ring and looks around to the fans, then thrusts his
left fist in the air to their cheers.  The referee calls for the bell,
and Cole turns to face off against Haley.)


**DING DING DING**

Cole and Haley circle each other once,
Cole twirling the nightstick in his hand.
The new DCWL Tag Tam champion looks across the ring,
at the dangerous Cole with his nightstick...
Haley takes a step forward, and Cole shrugs,
tossing the nightstick aside!
And the two lock-up in an old school collar-and-elbow tie-up!
Quickly Haley sends Cole to the mat with a Hiptoss!
However, Cole quickly gets to his feet and runs in for a clothesline...
Mark quickly takes him to the mat with an Armbar takedown,
But, quickly both men get back to their feet and lockup again!
This time, Cole shoves Haley back...
And quickly floors the Tag Champion with a shoulder tackle takedown!
As Haley and Cole crash to the mat,
Haley wraps his legs around Cole with a leg scissors!
And he hooks the head, 
locking on a front facelock and leg scissors hold!

HP:  "Wha-what the!? This ain’t no plunder! The hell is this, Manning?"

RM:  "We’re witnessing a great exchange between half of the DCWL Tag
Champions and the DCWL Platinum Champion, and it is amazing!"

HP:  "APOCALYSPE IS ABOUT PLUNDAH!  NOT THIS FAIRY SUBMISSION CRAP!"

Cole winces in pain, but quickly slams his hands to the mat,
pushing himself out of the facelock!
He lays into Haley with a flurry of lefts and rights,
and a chop to the chest!
Haley releases his leg scissors..
But quickly Cole finds his shoulders on the mat with a quick roll up!
The referee drops to the mat:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO
..

..

..

..

..

Cole kicks out, 
and both men rush to their feet...

RM:  "Amazing opening moments of this long haul! Wait! What’s that!?"

HP:  "That, my friend is the PLUNDAH I’ve been waiting for!"

*! CRAAAASSSHHHH !*

Cole suddenly slumps to the mat,
as he his hit in the back of the head with a soap box!
Kreslyn stands over the Platinum Champion,
smirking as Haley comes rushing in...
He receives a boot to the face for his troubles,
as Kreslyn drops for a pin on Cole:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

Haley makes the save with a forearm smash!
Kreslyn quickly gets to his feet, and locks up with Haley!
He shoves Haley out of the hold,
but Haley uses the momentum to bounce off the ropes...
Kreslyn clotheslines Haley in a counter, sending him over the top!


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


HP:  "HAHA!  That two-bit humanoid humper Haley was the first in and
he’s going to be the first out!"

RM:  "This isn’t fair at all, Hollywood... Kreslyn came out way too
early to get an advantage ... and wait! Here comes Cole!"

Cole makes Kreslyn regret coming down to the ring,
as he sends him down with a neckbreaker!
Kreslyn’s head bounces off the mat as Haley re-enters the ring...
And both he and Cole put the boots to Kreslyn!
Haley yanks Kreslyn from the mat, and sends him in with an Irish Whip.
With a head of steam Kreslyn comes back...
Cole steps in front of Haley and lifts Kreslyn up with a flapjack...
And Haley leaps in the air, dropkicking him forward...
Leaving Cole to fall forward instead of backward,
in a elevated spine buster!
Cole hooks the leg:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

Kreslyn kicks out!

HP:  "This isn’t FAIR, Manning... that redneck hick and his girlfriend
movie star are double teaming Haplo's partner, Kreslyn!"

RM:  "You weren’t complaining when Kreslyn was cheating!"

HP:  "This is the Apocalypse Match!  This is the epitome of PLUNDAH!"

Haley pulls Kreslyn to his feet, locking on a side headlock,
Which he then turns into a go-behind Waistlock..
Haley nails Kreslyn with a release German Suplex!
Kreslyn crashes on the back of his head...
But before he can even see what is going on Cole drops an elbow! 
Matt Cole drops down for another cover:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

T-Kickout!

Cole gets to his feet as his opponent rolls away.
Kreslyn stumbles to his feet and shakes the cobwebs,
Only to see Haley and Cole rushing in at him for a double clothesline!
Kreslyn ducks the double team attempt...
AND LEVELS THE TWO WITH A JUMPING TWO-ARMED CLOTHESLINE!
Kreslyn covers both men!

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..


..

..

..

..

THRE

DOUBLE KICKOUT BY HALEY AND COLE!

RM:  "OH MY GOSH!  Kreslyn almost became half the Tag Champions AND the
Platinum Champion!"

HP:  "It’s all because he’s using that PLUNDAH!  Not like those two
sissies Haley and Cole!"

Kreslyn quickly gets to his feet, looking to gain an advantage.
He quickly drops an elbow on Cole,
but as he gets up he finds Haley standing.
Haley wastes no time with a drop-toe-hold,
which he quickly grabs the leg...
Locking on a half Boston Crab, much to Kreslyn’s dismay!
Kreslyn pounds his fist on the mat,
looking up to see Cole dropping a leg on the back of his head!
Kreslyn goes limp for a moment,
but his eyes go wide as he tries to power out of the hold.
But another leg drop from Cole flattens him,
and Haley releases the hold.
Both Haley and Cole lift Kreslyn up to try and eliminate him...
They lift him over their heads,
and with a running start go to dump him over the ropes!
Kreslyn drops off their backs and shoves the champs into the ropes.
Haley and Cole stop themselves from dumping to the outside quickly!


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


The crowd lights up with jeers,
as Noah Prejudice comes running out from behind the curtain!
He picks put the nightstick at ringside,
and makes a b-line for Matt Cole!
Cole sets his feet, ready for Noah,
but isn’t ready for the nightstick between his eyes!
Matt Cole’s body hits the ground and he begins to pull himself up,
but a boot to the back of the head keeps him down.
Haley rushes in to give Cole a hand,
but Kreslyn locks him with a hammerlock!
Haley quickly spins around with a back elbow,
Quickly he applies a half nelson, with a chicken-wing hold!
Kreslyn reaches back and grabs a handful of Haley’s hair,
to release the hold.
But Haley throws himself to the mat, pulling Kreslyn down..
And he locks on a leg scissors,
locking his hands together behind Kreslyn’s head,
Holding him tightly in the half nelson chicken-wing hold!
Meanwhile, Noah has the nightstick across the neck of Cole,
chocking the life out of him.

HP:  "WOOO!  Finally this is getting good!  Enough of that goodie 
two-shoes crap!"

RM:  "We may see a new Platinum Champion already, folks!"

Haley continues to apply pressure on Kreslyn as Cole finds the
nightstick across the back of his head again!
Prejudice pulls Cole from the mat and takes another swing...
No! Cole blocks the Nightstick with his forearm,
and then backs off, holding it in pain.
Noah hoists the nightstick over his head and comes down..
To a kick in the gut... AND A DDT!!!
Cole holds his forearm and slams a fist to the mat, blocking the pain.
He drapes an arm across Noah:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO-Noah forcefully SHOVES the arm off his chest.
Haley still has the hold locked in on Kreslyn,
but he finds Kreslyn shifting their weight toward the ropes..
And he grabs the bottom rope, and screams out "BREAK!"
Haley instinctively releases the hold,
as the referee reminds him that no break was necessary!

HP:  "HA!  What a monkey humping idiot!  Mark Haley is still playing by
the damn rules, even when there are none!"

Kreslyn quickly pulls himself up by the ropes,
his body clearly aching from the submission hold,
when Haley suddenly leaps up with a standing dropkick,
sending a gasping Kreslyn up and over the top rope!

RM:  "Kreslyn has just been eliminated by Mark Haley!"

HP:  "Not so fast, Manning, Kreslyn’s still on the apron!"

Kreslyn quickly springs himself forward over the ropes,
and into a clothesline on Haley!

Haley moves, and drops Kreslyn to the mat with a faceplant!
The ring shakes as Kreslyn crashes to the canvas with momentum.
Cole and Noah both get to their feet,
and Cole rips the nightstick from the mat!
He jabs Prejudice in the gut, doubling him over...

*! CRAAAAACCK !*

The nightstick breaks in two as Cole snaps it over Noah’s back.
He tosses both pieces out to the crowd, and...

*! WHAM !*

Noah is planted face right into the canvas with a bulldog!
Cole throws his arms up in the air under cheers,
and then puts the boots to Noah!
Haley pulls Kreslyn off the ground and places him in a side headlock.
Kreslyn musters up all his strength and lifts Haley up,
Trying to backdrop him over the top rope!
Haley kicks his feet off the top rope however,
and rolls backward over Kreslyn’s back.
And he wraps Kreslyn up from behind, with a rollup!

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


RM:  "Kreslyn’s on the verge of elimination!  Haley’s got him down for
sure this time!"

HP:  "Bah... hey wait... is that who I think it is!?"

Kreslyn kicks out... to heavy cheers?
NO! The fans cheer wildly for the man coming down the aisle...
He’s got a sledgehammer in his hands and a smirk on his face!
It’s former three time DCWL Plunderweight Champion...
..
..
..
REX CREED!

RM:  "OH MY GOD!  REX CREED HAS RETURNED TO THE DCWL!"

HP:  "YESSSSS!!  BRING THE PLUNDAH, MY MAIN MAN!"

Creed rushes to the ring, 
and pushes past Haley, bringing his Sledge up..

*! THWAAAP !*

Without warning he levels Cole,
with the hammer to the side of the head,
And he begins to provoke Noah to stand up!
The former Grand Champion gets his balance,
and stands face to face with his former foe.

HP:  "Here we GO!  Ol’ Panzerotti’s been waiting for Creed to come
back!  Where are the Plunderboots?  The Plunderbra?!"

Creed viciously swings at Noah with the sledge hammer, 
but Noah has enough wit to move out of the way!
Quickly Noah lunges forward, locking his grip around Creed’s neck.
Noah’s eyes go wide with hate... and then pain.
Creed swings the sledge up right between Noah’s legs,
then brings it up...
And just as Prejudice looks up, the lights go out for him,
Creed brings the hammer right down between Noah’s eyes, 
Blood gushes from Prejudice’s head as he falls to his knees...
Trickling down his face like crimson tears, 
And as he looks up at Creed,
He only sees the unforgiving hammer,
as it crashes in across his cheek bones,
Sending him to the canvas in a heap!
Haley looks on at Creed viciously beating Noah,
and takes a step forward to stop,
But Kreslyn comes up behind him with a sleeper hold!
Haley reaches up and sends Kreslyn over his head with a snap mare..
And then locks on a dragon sleeper himself!
Cole lies stirring on the mat,
recovering slowly from the hit he took earlier.

HP:  "Holy crap Manning!  Creed is beating the piss out of Noah
Prejudice!"

RM:  "Well, it was Noah Prejudice under the mask of Jack Ketch that
seemingly ended Rex Creed’s career at Cornerstone Revolution, nearly
nine months ago!"

HP:  "How the hell you remember all this useless trivia!?"

Creed continues his domination of Noah,
this time bringing the Sledgehammer across his knee!
Noah yelps in pain as Creed raises the hammer once more..
And he brings it down yet again across Noah’s chest,
knocking the wind out of his lungs.
Kreslyn meanwhile forcefully stands, picking Haley up...
Haley releases the dragon sleeper,
but finds himself in a running Powerslam!
Mark Haley holds his back as Kreslyn lies breathing hard,
unable to capitalize.
Creed drops his sledgehammer and yanks Noah to his feet,
Blood spews down the former champion’s face as,
He takes a swing at Creed like a drunkard in a bar fight,
But Creed easily blocks it, and leaps into a headbutt!
Noah stumbles back to the ropes,
and Creed scoops up the sledge again...
And he runs in using the handle to clothesline Noah..
He goes over the top to the floor!

PA:  "NOAH PREJUDICE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

RM:  "What a turn of events!  Who would have ever predicted that Noah
Prejudice would be the FIRST wrestler eliminated from the Apocalypse
Match?!  And at the hands of Rex Creed, no less!"

Creed looks down at Noah with a smirk, 
who pulls himself up slowly from the concrete floor.
Turning to focus on the match, Creed turns to see Matt Cole.
Cole has recovered from the sledge to the side of the head,
And before Creed can react, 
Cole dropkicks him up and over the top rope!
Creed crashes to the concrete next to Noah Prejudice!

PA:  "REX CREED HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


The crowd looks anxious to the entrance,
but no one seems to be coming out...
Cole yells down at Creed, who gets up on the apron in his face...
But no!  Noah Prejudice comes from behind Creed,
and yanks him off the apron!
Creed stumbles as Noah hits him with a right hand!  And ANOTHER!
Stumbling back, Creed begins to stumble up the ramp,
Noah musters up strength and swings away with a clothesline..
But Creed ducks, and begins to turn the tables, with rights and lefts,
Sending Noah back-pedalling up the ramp..
As HAPLO THE VAGABOND EMERGES AND BEGINS TO RUN DOWN THE RAMP!

RM:  "Haplo and Kreslyn are the first team to be together in this
match!"

HP:  "HELL YEAH!  Now we won’t be seeing M&M, Mark and Matt much
longer!"

Sliding in the ring, Haplo immediately goes after Haley,
attempting to help his partner!
Haley takes a flying shoulder tackle, 
and it sends him back to the mat.
Kreslyn and Haplo nod to each other, 
and begin to put the boots to Haley!
Haley covers his head, trying to defend himself,
as the two stomp a mudhole in him!
Matt Cole sees what is going on and rushes in for the save!
He nails Kreslyn with a flying forearm smash...

But Haplo makes him quickly regret it,
with a powerful elbow to the back of the head!
Cole collapses to his knees, and finds Kreslyn’s boot in his chin,
As Kreslyn runs in with a kick,
that would make a field goal at 50+ yards!
Cole lands back first on the mat,
and Haplo orders Kreslyn to pick him up!
Kreslyn follows orders and yanks Cole up by his hair.
He sends Cole into the ropes with an Irish whip...
Cole comes bouncing off the ropes back to the duo..
And Haplo levels him to the mat with a running spear!
Kreslyn comes running in for an elbow drop...
But Haley hits a drop toe hold!

RM:  "Mark Haley and Matt Cole are desperately trying to fight together
to overcome the well-oiled unit of Haplo and Kreslyn!"

HP:  "Bah!  That’s freaking impossible!  Haplo and Kreslyn are going to
dominate this match!"

Haley quickly applies an STF to Kreslyn,
but Haplo makes sure he has to let go!
Mark backs away as he sees Haplo stepping toward him!
Haplo rushes in, and Haley makes a sidestep,
using Haplo’s momentum to send him over the top rope!
Haplo grabs the ropes and gets on the apron!
Haley comes rushing in, certain to eliminate Haplo...
But he finds it hard to do so as Kreslyn trips him up,
and he goes face first into the mat!
Haplo uses the ropes to catapult himself over into a legdrop,
across the back of Haley’s head!
The duo rolls Haley over and Kreslyn go for the cover!

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

Cole DIVES off the top rope,
seemingly out of no where,
and breaks the pin with a flying splash!

HP:  "What the hell is Cole doing up there?!  First a dropkick, now
this flying kabuki crap?!"

RM:  "Matt Cole and High Risk are definitely not synonymous terms!  He
could’ve been easily eliminated while on the top!"


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


The crowd looks to the entrance ramp, 
to see the gleeful visage of Naoki Yoneyama!
In his hands is a red and white jump rope!
And he happily skips his way to the ring, but he trips!
His legs get tangles up in the rope,
and he screams out, trying to get free,
but he starts ravelling himself up in the rope even more!
Now stuck, he begins to inch down the ramp like a worm.

HP:  "Damn ... this monkey humper's a bigger idiot than I had
imagined!"

Meanwhile, in the ring, Haplo rips Cole from the mat.
Cole fights back with a forearm to the side of the head,
But Haplo quickly sends him down with a thunderous headbutt!
Cole begins to stir back up, 
but he finds himself prone and set up in a standing headscissors!

RM:  "If Haplo can nail Cole with the Nexus Powerbomb, there's going to
be a new Platinum Champion!"

Haplo wraps his arms around Cole waist and..
NO!  Haley uses Cole as a springboard, 
and leaps into a flying body block!
He crashes down on Haplo!

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

Haplo forcefully kicks out!

RM:  "Amazing move by Haley! Now, if he and Cole and only eliminate
Haplo or Kreslyn..."

HP:  "Hell would freeze over, dammit!"

RM:  "No, they’d have a chance of standing and winning this match!"

HP:  "Like I said, hell would freeze over."

Haplo stands up quickly and Haley is waiting for him!
Kick to the midsection from Mark Haley...
And... a DDT! Haplo goes down, and Haley goes to make the cover!
Kreslyn dives onto him, 
shoving him off before a cover can take place.
Haley quickly rolls Kreslyn through and locks on an ankle lock!
Cole quickly falls on Haplo for the cover!

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

Haplo kicks out forcefully again, 
and pulls himself up, shaking off the cobwebs.
With a look of anger he glances at Cole...
But instead he kicks Haley in the back of the head!
Haley drops to the mat, releasing the ankle lock.

RM:  "Haplo not letting his anger get the best of him for once.  Very
smart move."

HP:  "Nah, he’s just more than content kicking the crap out of both
those humanoid humpers."

Down the ramp, Naoki has managed to entangle himself further, 
to the point where he’s moving half speed, crawling down the ramp.
He shrieks for "HEELP!!", 
as the action continues in the ring.
Kreslyn is back up and he pulls Haley to his feet by the hair,
And across the ring Haplo does the same to Matt Cole,
The team mates nod at each other,
and Irish whip Matt and Mark toward each other.
Haley and Cole stop from running into each other by an inch...
They turn back toward their targets...
And are sandwiched with a Haplo/Kreslyn flying body splash sandwich!

HP:  "BAM!  HA!  Did you see that?!  What a freaking great move!"

On the ramp, still crawling Naoki screams out "SAAAAMMMMIIICHHH!!"
Stumbling back in the ring are Haley and Cole,
dazed as Kreslyn charges forward,
And he drops Cole with a Superkick!
Haplo hooks Haley in a front chancery and lifts him up vertically...
And... CRASH! He brings Haley down with a Brainbuster!
Haley’s head rocks off the mat as suddenly...


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


Jess Bollinger emerges from the entryway,
carrying a loaf of crusty French bread in his hands.
The Outlaw slowly walks down the aisle,
He cocks his head bending down to Naoki,
who smiles looking up at his one-time tag partner.

RM:  "Finally, someone is here to help poor Naoki Yoneyama!  Remember,
Naoki and Bollinger nearly won the Tag Team Championships together at
Elite Tradition!"

The fans cheer as he begins to unravel Naoki’s rope...
But they turn to jeers as he begins to choke the Sammich Master!
Naoki gasps for air, and with his mouth open,
it leaves Jess stuffing the crusty bread in!
The fans jeer this action heavily,
as Jess shoves Naoki’s head into the ramp!
He grabs Naoki by the hair,
and begins to repeatedly slam his head into the metal ramp!
Naoki yelps out, 
as his face is hammered again and again into the steel.
Jess quickly hops off and begins to tie Naoki’s feet together!
Naoki tries to crawl away,
but Jess brings an elbow drop down on the back of his head!

RM:  "What a travesty! Naoki has been betrayed again!"

HP:  "Maybe he’ll cry himself all the way back to Japan and stop
wasting our time!  Thank you Jess Bollinger for bringing the
violence... or at least the PLUNDAH!"

Back in the ring, Haplo and Kreslyn have a dominate advantage.
They lay waste to Haley and Cole with a series of stomps!
Kreslyn  rips Haley to a vertical base,
and lifts him over his head with a scoop.
He dumps Haley over the top rope!
But Haley holds onto the ropes...
He flips over and touches with one foot... and ano-NO!
Haley begins to pull himself up, facing elimination. 
Suddenly Haplo reaches over the ropes and grabs Haley by the throat.
And he... pull him back in?
Kreslyn looks to Haley with immense irritation,
and shoves him, asking "WHY?"
Haplo shakes his head and makes the motion around his waist...
Signalling that Kreslyn could win half the tag titles!

HP:  "Brilliant!  Kreslyn and Evelyn are going to be the new Tag
Champions if Haplo has his way!"

RM:  "Dangerous move by Haplo, Haley was nearly eliminated, and this
could come back to haunt Haplo."

Haplo swings at Haley, but Haley ducks... and he sets Haplo up..
T-BONE SUPLEX ON HAPLO!
The crowd goes wild, but Kreslyn comes after Haley...
Matt Cole jumps in the way with a dropkick..
Cole leaps atop Kreslyn, 
and begins to hammer away with lefts and rights!
Meanwhile, Bollinger continues to choke the life out of Naoki.
He rams his knee into Naoki’s neck, and pulls back on the jump rope,
Naoki tries prying his fingers between the ropes,
and his throat for breathing room.
Screaming, gasping for air,
the Sammich Master hammers his hand on the metal.
The crowd lets out a thunderous jeer as Bollinger leans back, 
He pulls the jump rope back, and begins to move it back and forth,
Attempting to give Naoki rope burn while choking him!
Naoki’s vital signs begin to fade, as...


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


A large metal spring appears from behind the curtain.
And atop it, bouncing down the ramp is JEB!

HP:  "DAMMIT!  NOT THIS IDIOT!"

RM:  "Ladies and Gentlemen.. JEB IS BACK IN THE DCWL!"

Jeb bounces down toward the ring, while Haley and Haplo duke it out!
Haley ducks a big swing from Haplo, and locks a waist lock!
He shoves Haplo forward, bouncing him off the ropes and...

*!CRASH!*

Jeb’s spring crashes into the ring,
launching him from the outside to the inside..
And he lands on top of Haley from behind,
and the two slam into the canvas.
Haplo comes running back, and he bends down,
lifting Jeb off the mat.
He sets him up..
NEXUS POWERBOMB TO JEB TO THE OUTSIDE!
Jeb crashes to the outside of the ring from Haplo’s Nexus Powerbomb!

PA:  "JEB HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

HP:  "HUMANOIDS! JEB HAS LEFT THE DCWL!  HAHAAAAAA!"

RM:  "Hopefully this isn’t the last time we’ve seen Jeb!"

HP:  "JEB?  HA!  Hopefully we never see him again, Manning.  What a
freaking joke."

Bollinger continues to pound away on Naoki on the outside.
Haplo acts like he’s dusting his hands off...
And has he turns around, he finds a Haley dropkick!
Haley quickly rebounds and rushes over to Haplo, applying a hammerlock.
He pulls Haplo to his feet, holding the hammerlock..
And he nails Haplo with a hammerlock Suplex!
Cole and Kreslyn continue to exchange blows
As Cole stand up, and begins to stomp a mud hole in Kreslyn!
Meanwhile, on the outside Bollinger has choked Naoki out,
and he now drags him down toward the ring,
by the neck with the jump rope.
He stops as he reaches the metal spring,
and begins to try to drag Naoki into the ring,
but can’t send to get him up.
The DCWL fans cheer as Haley nails Haplo with a rocker dropper!
He makes the cover:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

Haplo kicks out!

RM:  "We almost had another elimination right there!"

HP:  "Oh, stop it, Manning. A wimpy move that used to be used by Marty
Jannetty wouldn’t keep Haplo down."

Cole quickly lifts Kreslyn up, with a Vertical Suplex...
Kreslyn’s back slams hard against the mat as Cole springs back up..
And quickly delivers a kneedrop to the forehead!
Cole wastes no time, he picks Kreslyn off the mat once more and quickly
places his head between his legs...
And lifts Kreslyn up by the waist...
COLE PILEDRIVES HIM IN THE MIDDLE FO THE RING!
Kreslyn’s head bounces off the mat hard,
as Cole goes for the cover:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

Kreslyn kicks out!

Meanwhile, Jess Bollinger has given up trying to pick Naoki up,
and instead stomps him some more!
Naoki has come to life however, and is trying to block the stomps.

RM:  "Naoki’s trying to get up and defend himself here, Hollywood."

HP:  "Sammich-boy shouldn’t even be here, he’s got NO CHANCE!  Hell,
King Karnage’s mom has better odds at pulling this off."

Haley and Cole both to their feet.
Mark Haley quickly begins to apply a camel clutch to Haplo,
And he does, sitting on the back of Haplo, wrenching on his neck!
Cole, however pulls Kreslyn up by the face,
and then drag him to the turnbuckle.
Kreslyn finds Cole hammering his head into the turnbuckle repeatedly...
And now, Cole begins to drag Kreslyn’s face across the rope.
He polls Kreslyn’s head back and glares out to the crowd..
And he brings Kreslyn down with a reverse DDT!

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

THR-Kickout my Kreslyn!

RM:  "Another near-fall in these opening moments, I thought the
Platinum Champion was about to score his second elimination."

HP:  "That was pretty close, Manning. Ol’ Panzerotti isn’t liking Haplo
and Kreslyn’s chances right about now."

Haplo screams out, bringing his arms up,
trying to get out of the camel clutch.
Haley tells him to "give it up", but Haplo spits and replies "NEVER!"


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


All eyes focus on the ramp...
As DARIEN HALEY walks down to the ring.
The fans go nuts as he slowly marches down, past Bollinger and Naoki.
He rolls into the ring, and Mark releases the hold on Haplo.
He walks right up to Darien and begins to argue with him,
wondering what he’s doing.
Mark and Darien stare at each other,
their eyes locked as Haplo comes rushing in..
And the Haleys turn... and double clothesline him!
But Darien and Mark again give each other a cold glare,
Mark shakes his head, and turns from Darien,
and begins to put the boots to Haplo!
Meanwhile, Naoki is fighting for his life,
as Bollinger pulls him to his feet.
Naoki hops forward and head butts Jess, sending him stumbling back.
He then leaps up for a dropkick!
He nails Jess, sending him back first into the ring post,
but Naoki struggles to get up, his feet still tied together.

RM:  "Naoki hasn’t even gotten in the ring yet, which may or may not
work to his advantage as this goes on."

HP:  "Until now it’s been the freakin’ Outlaw’s advantage!  He’s been
smart, beating the crap out of Naoki and staying away from the
carnage!"

Cole pulls Kreslyn to a vertical base,
and sending him into the turnbuckle. 
Kreslyn bounces off the turnbuckle chest first,
Matt rushes in for a splash, 
but Kreslyn hits him with a spinning elbow.
Cole slumps to his knees,
and Kreslyn quickly capitalizes with a leaping inverted bulldog!
He makes the cover:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

THREE!

HP:  "NEW FREAKING PLATINUM CHAMPION!!"

RM:  "NO! NO! THE REF IS SIGNALING THAT COLE GOT HIS SHOULDER UP!"

HP:  "DAMMIT!"

Kreslyn begins to argue with the referee,
as Cole begins to stir back up.
Mark Haley continues to beat on Haplo,
driving a fist into his throat with a fist drop!
Darien rushes over with a leg drop across Haplo’s chest,
and Mark shoves him away,
Telling him to "stay out of the way"
Darien doesn’t listen and instead drops an elbow, 
and goes for a pinfall:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

Haplo kicks out!
On the outside, Naoki’s eyes light with nostalgic passion up,
as he picks up the metal spring.
With a smile he hoists it over his head!
Bollinger runs over to try and stop him...

*!WHAM!*

Naoki slams the spring over Bollinger’s head to heavy cheers.


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*) 


Ratt Klyczofvski emerges from the entryway, 
with a large metal ball attached to the end of the chain.
The diminutive Ratt is struggling to carry the weapon.
He looks terrified; his big weasel eyes searching left and right. 
He seems to be trembling from head to toe.
He is taking tiny steps, 
each one a struggle because of the weight of the ball and chain. 

RM:  "Ratt Klyczofvski has drawn entrance eleven!" 

HP:  "Aw hell...what's this monkey humper gonna prove with that?  He
can't even lift it!" 

RM:  "Jackson Hunter is truly a cruel partner, sticking Ratt with both
the early draw and the heavy weapon!"

Mark Haley is trying to force Darien to leave the ring,
both men's tempers are high, 
and neither seems to be listening to the other. 
Mark keeps pointing towards the back. 
Darien keeps pointing to the ring.
Suddenly, as voices rise, Darien slaps Mark hard across the cheek.
Mark rolls with the shot in stunned disbelief.
As if that slap was a cue, 
Haplo and Kreslyn sprint over, hands clasped together, 
and they level both Haleys with a double clothesline!
Mark is whipped completely off his feet, 
and he smashes against the ropes and bounces to the canvas.
Darien has the unfortunate happenstance, 
to be caught up in Haplo's massive arms. 
Kreslyn grabs Darien's feet, 
and the two partners lift Darien into the air, 
spinning him hard and dropping him into a double backbreaker.
Darien screams out in true pain and suddenly lies quite still.
Mark pops to his feet, eyes burning with rage,
and grabs Kreslyn, both men immediately trading huge punches.
Haplo moves in to help Kreslyn, 
but two hands grab him by the shoulders and yank him backwards! 

RM:  "Matt Cole in for the save! The Platinum Champ has Haplo!" 

Cole yanks Haplo backwards into a Reverse DDT position, 
Then suddenly lifts up the big Greek, 
and slams him back first to the canvas!
Moving quickly, Cole spins over into a straddle over Haplo's body,
and begins pummelling away with hard right hands. 
Haplo can't seem to block them. 

HP:  "Isn't that illegal? That's got to be illegal." 

RM:  "In the Apocalypse Match?" 

HP:  "Isn't there something that says Do Unto Others ... as ol'
Panzerotti says you should do Unto Them?" 

Meanwhile, Kreslyn and Mark Haley are trading wicked shots,
each punch sending the target to his knee, 
only to have the man pop back up to his feet, 
and crush the other with a roundhouse.
Kreslyn finally breaks the cycle, 
by dodging under one of Haley's punches, 
and throwing both his hands around Haley's neck.
He forces Haley to the ropes, 
and starts to bend him backwards over the top rope, 
digging his thumbs into Haley's windpipe.
Darien Haley suddenly stirs, holding a hand to his lower back.
He forces himself to his feet, 
struggling, using the ropes as a ladder almost.
He rests against the corner for a second, gathering his breath,
then he turns and leaps onto Kreslyn's back, 
wrapping his arms around Kreslyn's neck with a sleeper.
Kreslyn, eyes wide, reaches up to grab Darien,
but leaves himself open, 
to a HUGE right hand to the midsection from Mark Haley!
Kreslyn is doubled-over by Haley's punch, 
and Darien hops off Kreslyn's back, 
and delivers a solid kick to Kreslyn's exposed rear.
Kreslyn lurches forward into Mark, 
who quickly bends and absorbs Kreslyn on his back, 
then stands and flips Kreslyn over the top rope.
The impressive German is caught open and he can't grab the ropes.
He flails helplessly as he crashes to the floor. 

RM:  "Kreslyn is eliminated!" 

HP:  "That'll lengthen the odds on Haplo!  With his team mate gone,
he'll be easier prey to anyone smart enough to work as a team!" 

Naoki Yoneyama shakes himself free of the last tangles of the jump
rope,
and he holds the metal spring aloft, triumphantly.
As he starts to speak, 
the entire arena seems to say it along with him.
The noise is deafening and practically stops the entire match, 
as all the wrestlers turn to look: 

"BOI-OI-OI-OING!!!" 

Naoki drops into a ninja stance, the spring raised like a sword;
the crowd pop is deafening;
and the Sammich Master rushes into the ring. 


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*) 

 
RM:  "Our next competitor is going to be--" 

(Manning waits for a long moment, but no one appears.) 

HP:  "Someone chickened out! That's okay, though ... Ratt still ain't
even ringside." 

RM:  "Well, it seems there is no entrant for the number twelve spot ...
strange." 

Ratt Klyczofvski is now sitting on his ass, 
pushing the metal ball with his feet like it's a leg press, 
then scooting forward and pushing it again.
He's almost to the mats that surround the ring. 
In the ring, Naoki pops to his feet, 
and sends the metal spring bouncing.

"Boi-oi-oi-oing!"

The spring bounces up and catches Darien Haley in the chin,
sending him backwards into Mark; 
this seems to spark their argument all over again, 
neither man seeming to pay attention to the match around them. 
Haplo finally tosses Cole off him and sits up, 
trying to shake away the cobwebs, 
that Cole's punches implanted in his head.
The big Greek looks for Kreslyn, 
and sees his partner slinking toward the back, eliminated. 
Haplo grits his teeth and grabs Cole,
bending Cole over and locking his arms through Cole's, 
and behind Cole's back. 
He lifts Cole, spinning him, and slams him to the canvas!

RM:  "Double-arm Powerbomb!" 

Jess Bollinger hauls himself to his feet outside the ring,
and staggers over to Ratt, who is completely exhausted, 
from the exertion of simply trying to get his weapon to the ring.
Bollinger grabs the front of Ratt's Hawaiian shirt, 
and picks him up like a bag of potatoes. 
With a mighty swing, he tosses Ratt into the ring, 
up and OVER the top rope!
Ratt bounces and lies still, falling unfortunately, 
onto the same place where Naoki's spring is hurtling!
The spring smashes directly into Ratt's face. 
He curls into a foetal ball and lies there trembling.
Bollinger climbs the side of the ring, 
and enters the ring for the first time.
He is directly behind Haplo, 
and capitalizes by dropping to one knee, 
and bringing his arm up fast between Haplo's legs.
Haplo's eyes roll back into his head, 
and he dances in place for a moment, clutching his goody bag. 

HP:  "Aw hell ... that'll haunt you ... makes ol' Panzerotti feel like
puking just seeing it, dammit!" 

Bollinger slips one hand between Haplo's leg, 
and grabs Haplo's thigh, lifting him on his shoulders, 
his other hand grabbing Haplo's neck. 

RM:  "Torture Rack!" 

Bollinger falls forwards onto his knees, 
practically snapping Haplo over his back. 

RM:  "THE OUTLAW CRUSHER!  He just nailed the seven-footer with his
signature move, and Bollinger may have just eliminated Haplo from the
Apocalypse Match!" 

Bollinger goes for a cover! 
The referee counts:

ONE! 
..
 
..
 

..
 
..

..

TWO!!! 
..
 
..
 
..
 
..

..

..

..

THRE-- 

Naoki's spring suddenly catches Bollinger in the side of the head,
sending him spinning off of Haplo's prostrate form.
The crowd is a mixture of cheers and groans over that one.
Naoki doesn't seem to notice.

"Boi-oi-oi-oing!"  


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*) 


RM:  "Our next contestant in the Apocalypse Match is Simon Anders,
Tawny Blake's personal trainer!  Simon appeared in the 2003 Apocalypse
Match and made a very strong showing for himself!" 

HP:  "Lucky number thirteen, Manning.  Looks like he's packing a pair
of nunchucks.  Let's hope he knows how to use them!" 

Simon leaps to the ring apron and starts to climb into the ring.
Haplo rolls to his feet right in front of Simon.
Simon is welcomed to the ring warmly, 
by a massive European uppercut from Haplo, 
that sends him back into the ropes.
Haplo bends down and picks up Ratt Klyczofvski from the mat. 
Ratt looks like a doll in Haplo's hands.
Haplo uses Ratt like a battering ram, 
jamming Ratt's head into Simon's stomach. 
Simon drops the nunchucks into the ring,
where they come to rest near Jess Bollinger.
Haplo lifts Ratt above his head, 
and brings Ratt down on top of Simon's back. 
Simon falls to his knees.
Simon tries to batter away at Haplo's stomach, 
but Haplo only seems to get angrier. 
He lifts Ratt above his head, 
and brings Ratt down hard, head-on-head, to Simon. 
Ratt goes completely limp and Simon is rattled. 
He rolls to his side holding his head. 

HP:  "What the hell kind of Piledriver was that?" 

RM:  "I think Ratt Klyczofvski may be hurt badly. He doesn't seem to be
moving." 

HP:  "If you got your noggin knocked like he just did, you wouldn't be
moving much, either!" 

Jess Bollinger rolls to his feet, 
head bleeding mercilessly from the spring attacks, 
and his hands find the nunchucks Simon dropped. 
Bollinger clutches them, gives them an expert spin,
and turns his attentions to Matt Cole, 
who is just getting up from Haplo's double-arm Powerbomb.
Bollinger creases the side of Cole's face with the 'chucks, 
and then jabs the end of the handle into Cole's face.
Cole reels back, clutching his left eye.
Bollinger smashes Cole with the 'chucks again and drops them,
grabbing Cole with two hands.
Bollinger whirls Cole around with a hammer throw whip, 
and Cole's body crashes into Naoki Yoneyama, 
both men sprawling to the canvas. 
Mark and Darien Haley are still arguing, 
about Darien's involvement in the match. 
Their voices are loud and angry, both men red in the face, 
but neither seems to be giving ground. 
Bollinger rushes over and grabs a handful of Cole's hair, 
and a handful of Yoneyama's hair, 
and with a mighty shot, smashes their foreheads together!

HP:  "A double coconut knocker!  I haven't seen one of those in
freaking ages!  Kick some ass, Outlaw!  HA!" 

Haplo has lifted Simon into the air, 
and seems to be trying to hurl him over the ropes.
Simon has clutched the top rope, 
and doesn't seem to be willing to let go, 
but his position is definitely precarious.
Simon brings a knee to the side of Haplo's head with authority,
and Haplo drops Simon. 
Simon is able to land on the apron outside the ropes. 
He quickly goes low and shoulder blocks Haplo.
but the attack doesn't even move the massive Greek. 
He deftly reaches down, 
grabs Simon around the waist, and yanks him up, 
spinning him into the air. 

RM:  "NO!  Someone stop him!" 

HP:  "YES!  DO IT, HAPLO!  BREAK HIS ASS!  WOO!"

Haplo slams Simon to the ground outside the ring, 
with a mighty Nexus Powerbomb!
Simon lays motionless on the concrete floor,
as the referee signals to the Ring Announcer.

PA:  "SIMON ANDERS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

The trainer lies outside the ring, clutching his chest, 
and desperately gasping for breath. 

HP:  "Easy come, easy go, Manning.  Lucky number thirteen..." 

Jess Bollinger lifts Naoki Yoneyama to his shoulders, 
setting him up for the Outlaw Crusher, 
but Yoneyama starts to flail like a trout and Bollinger stumbles, 
Yoneyama awkwardly falls forward, 
and Bollinger crashes to the mat, 
Yoneyama landing on his head and driving his face into the canvas. 


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*) 


A shadowy pair of figures walks out of the entranceway.
The spotlight hits them and reveals Crimestarter Jim, 
standing with a cocky smirk,
alongside the massive African American form of The Equalizer! 

RM:  "Wait just a second, Hollywood!  If those two are coming to the
ring together, one of them must have been the number twelve entrant! 
This isn't right at all!  One of them should be disqualified from the
Apocalypse Match!" 

HP:  "Aw, shut the hell up, Manning!  EPC is in the house, baby!  Now
let's get some of these losers out of the ring!" 

Crimestarter Jim and The Equalizer approach the ring,
rushing around to the side of the ring, 
where the Haleys are still arguing, 
and both men attack Mark Haley from behind! 
The Equalizer gives Darien a mighty shove,
and Darien goes flying to the other side of the ring. 
Both The Equalizer and CSJ start stomping Haley into the canvas, 
with a flurry of hard kicks.

HP:  "YES!  And remember, Manning, Mark Haley can't fight back against
any member of the Elite Players Club!"

RM:  "The Elite Players could easily regain the Tag Team Championships
under these crooked stipulations!  Mark Haley is finally a Champion in
the DCWL, but it may not even last to the end of the night!"

Haley is thrashing on the ground, trying to protect himself, 
but the kicks are too much.
Matt Cole staggers to his feet and lurches over to help Haley.
CSJ sees him coming and grabs Cole's wrist. 
He throws Cole into the corner, 
and begins pummelling him with punches.
Suddenly, CSJ reaches into his back pocket, 
and there's a flash of silver.
With a practiced move, 
Cole is quickly handcuffed to the rope in the corner. 

RM:  "A pair of handcuffs!  Crimestarter Jim had a weapon hidden in his
pants!" 

HP:  "... if that wasn't Crimestarter Jim, you know Ol' Panzerotti
would be all over that remark, dammit!" 

CSJ backs away from Cole, hands raised in a look of surrender,
and Cole lunges at him, only to be held back by the cuffs.
Cole's face grows red with fury and he yanks at the cuffs, 
but they don't relinquish.
Cole screams in rage, 
and CSJ suddenly kicks up with a straight kick to Cole's chin, 
that sends him back into the corner. 
Meanwhile, Haplo sees The Equalizer in the ring, 
the only man in the ring who matches Haplo's physical size. 
The Equalizer seems to be engrossed in stomping Mark Haley down.
Haplo reaches down to the mat and grabs Ratt by the ankles,
then, swinging poor Ratt like a bat, 
he connects Ratt with The Equalizer's head!
The Equalizer is launched backwards into the ropes, stunned.
Haplo, mocking him, dangles Ratt upside down, 
and uses Ratt's head to knock imaginary dirt off imaginary cleats. 
He holds Ratt's feet between his legs and spits on his hands,
then swings Ratt back again, aiming for The Equalizer.
At the last second, 
Equalizer ducks and launches forward, towards Haplo's stomach.
Haplo releases Ratt in order to protect himself, 
but the featherweight fighter soars out of the ring, 
and into the audience! 
The ringside fans all get out of the way,
and Ratt crashes into a gaggle of chairs before crumbling to the floor.

PA:  "RATT KLYCZOFVSKI HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

The unconscious Ratt slumps to the floor, 
in front of the audience members in the third row, 
bleeding profusely and twitching.
Several EMTs rush from the back to lend aid. 
The Equalizer and Haplo begin trading punches, 
neither man seeing anything else going on around them.
Darien Haley picks himself up, 
and delivers a dropkick to Haplo's back!
Haplo is knocked forward.
The Equalizer, seeing his chance, lifts Haplo and spins him around,
slamming him to the canvas in a spinning Powerslam!
The entire ring seems to creak, 
and threatens to break with the force of the impact.
The impact seems to even stun the rest of the wrestlers. 

HP:  "DAMN!  Ain't that often ya get to see two seven-footers wrecking
on each other in the freaking ring!  WHEW!"

Crimestarter Jim turns his attentions back to Mark Haley,
who has just gotten himself to one knee. 
CSJ drives a knee into Haley's chest, 
spinning him back against the ropes.
CSJ quickly slides a leg over Haley's right shoulder, 
and forces weight down onto Haley's back, 
choking him against the ropes. 
Matt Cole tries to help Haley, but he's just out of reach, 
helplessly handcuffed to the ropes.
Jess Bollinger picks himself up from the canvas, 
and sees Cole's back turned to him. 
Bollinger storms into the corner, 
and begins taking advantage of Cole's handicap. 
Bollinger starts to beat Cole down with repeated forearms,
while Cole tries to block them with his free arm. 


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*) 


Johnny Detson walks out to the entryway, 
a smug look on his face, dragging a wooden table.
He slides it down the rampway, 
drinking in the crowd's hateful reaction,
and sets up the table on the floor outside the ring, 
pushing it flush with the ring. 

HP:  "WOO!  PLUNDAH!  PLUNDAAAAAAAH!!!" 

RM:  "Johnny Detson is the fifteenth entrant to this match!  And his
weapon is obvious--a wooden table!" 

HP:  "What a coincidence!  The Elite Players coming out here together,
almost as one unit?  HA!" 

RM:  "There's not a chance that this is a coincidence, Hollywood!  The
Elite Players have been granted more shortcuts than anyone in DCWL
history!" 

Johnny Detson makes a big show of limbering up for the match, 
going through stretches and flexes.
He yawns and starts to slowly climb into the ring. 
CSJ releases Mark Haley from the choke hold for a moment,
long enough to walk over and shake Detson's hand.
The two joke for a second and CSJ walks back over to Haley.
Haley suddenly whirls just as CSJ puts a hand on him, 
as Mark tries to punch him, 
but CSJ jumps back and shakes a finger at Haley.
Dejected, Haley looks for another way. 

HP:  "HA!  Look at this!  Other than Vindy, ALL of the Elite Players
are out there, and Mark Haley can't hit any of them!"

RM:  "I'm sure this was the scenario Guido was hoping for when he
rehired Haley at Total Dementia, and I think it's disgusting!"

Detson leaps over the top rope and drives a knee into Haley.
He starts to slip Haley into a hold, possibly for a high spot move,
but Haley reverses it and lifts Detson into the air, 
allowing Detson to fall from his back to the canvas.
Detson lands on his feet and staggers into the corner, 
where Matt Cole grabs a handful of Johnny Detson's hair, 
and suddenly uses him as a shield, 
to block one of Jess Bollinger's punches!
Detson crumbles to the canvas and lies still.
Jess Bollinger recoils, holding his hand.
Suddenly, the crowd roars. 

"Boi-oi-oi-oing!" 

Naoki Yoneyama is there! 
He swings his spring and smacks Bollinger in the cheek, 
snapping his head to the side. 
Bollinger sinks to his knees and falls over onto his side. 
The Equalizer gets to his feet, 
and sees Detson and CSJ both down on the canvas.
The Equalizer goes after Mark Haley.
He levels Haley with a big roundhouse punch, 
and follows that by grabbing Haley, 
and literally throwing him into the corner turnbuckle. 

HP:  "I'd hate to be Haley right about now ... hell, what am I talking
about?!  I'd hate to be Haley ANY time, dammit!" 

Haley whirls back on The Equalizer,
dodging the shoulderblock he was trying to hit Haley with, 
and dances away from him.
Suddenly, a hand snakes between Haley's leg and grabs his thigh;
another hand grabs Haley's neck. 
He's lifted high into the air on the shoulders of... 
..
..
..
His brother, Darien Haley! 
Darien struggles for a moment, 
then exerts himself to press Mark Haley into the air,
as the crowd is shocked into silence!
Mark's struggle is frozen, as he stares in disbelief, 
but suddenly Darien throws Mark over the top rope, 
and THROUGH the table that Johnny Detson had just set up! 

PA:  "MARK HALEY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!" 

The crowd breaks out of their silence,
beginning to rise up with a chorus of boos!
Mark Haley, groaning in pain, rolls away from the wreckage,
and looks up, back to the ring, towards his brother. 
Johnny Detson and Crimestarter Jim both approach,
and throw an arm over Darien's shoulders, 
and the three of them laugh at Mark Haley!

RM:  "Darien Haley is a member of the Elite Player's Club!  NO!" 

HP:  "That makes it four-on-anyone in that ring!  The EPC is taking
over the Apocalypse Match!" 

Detson and Darien Haley crawl through the ropes, 
and leap to the floor in front of Mark Haley.
The crowd is erupting with jeers,
as they begin abusing the dazed Mark Haley with kicks.
Then, Darien grabs Mark's legs and Detson moves back a few feet. 
Darien rocks back and launches Mark with a slingshot.
Haley, off his feet, 
flies back and meets Johnny Detson's running clothesline full-force.
The lariat sends Mark literally spinning like a top, 
and crashing to the ground where he lies still.
Detson and Darien Haley high-five each other,
and point and laugh at Mark Haley's limp body.  


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*) 


Tawny Blake comes flying out of the back like a freight train.
She launches herself into a flying cross-body, 
and knocks both Darien and Detson to the ground!
The crowd's pop is deafening. 

RM:  "Tawny Blake hits the ring at number sixteen!  TAWNY IS NUMBER
SIXTEEN!" 

HP:  "Dammit, Manning ... are your nipples hard?  You're screaming like
a schoolgirl!" 

Blake leaps to her feet, 
and crushes Darien with a right hand as he gets to his feet.
Detson leaps to his feet and meets another right hand,
staggering him backwards.
Blake attacks Detson, 
whipping him around in a circle and throwing him at the ring.
At the last second, Detson leaps, 
sliding into the ring under the bottom rope.
Darien Haley hits Blake from behind, 
sending her forward into the ring steps.
Darien straddles Blake's back, 
and starts to lock in a recliner submission. 
Suddenly, there's a huge crowd pop.
Darien looks up and looks around.
Naoki Yoneyama is leaning through the ropes.
A silly smile on his face.

"Boi-oi-oing!"

He snaps his metal spring forward, 
and it catches Darien fully in the face!
Darien flops to the ground next to Blake. 

RM:  "A quick save from Naoki Yoneyama keeps Tawny Blake from suffering
at the hands of the turncoat, Darien Haley!" 

HP:  "But look at the ring, Manning...look at the ring.  All three
members of the EPC are in the ring now!" 

The Equalizer is holding Jess Bollinger in a full-nelson,
while CSJ and Detson work over his chest and ribs, 
with a series of punches and kicks.
Bollinger's legs have gone limp, 
and he seems to be just absorbing every blow.
Cole watches helplessly from the corner, 
and Haplo has dragged himself into another corner, 
in order to watch the carnage.
Finally, after what seems like minutes,
The Equalizer releases Bollinger and he slumps to the canvas.
Detson grabs his wrists and CSJ grabs his ankles.
With a one-two-three, they swing Bollinger back and forth,
and throw him helplessly over the top rope!

PA:  "JESS BOLLINGER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*) 
 

Suddenly, Dontre Nero rushes from out of the back.
Naoki Yoneyama sees him coming and his eyes narrow.
His lip curls in a scowl of hatred.
Nero starts to climb through the ring and Yoneyama spins, 
whirling around with the spring, 
and connecting it full-force, to Nero's face!
Nero falls backwards off the apron, 
into the wreckage of the broken table.
The crowd is going crazy.
Yoneyama leaps through the ropes and shouts, "Boi-oi-oing!" 

RM:  "Nero has hit the ring, but it seems that Naoki Yoneyama isn't
going to allow his old partner to get there gracefully!" 

Yoneyama propels himself through the ropes like a torpedo,
and lands on Nero in a whirlwind of activity. 
He hits and kicks, screams and bites. 
It's all Nero can do to refrain from seriously hurting Yoneyama, 
while still trying to protect himself! 
Meanwhile, Jess Bollinger's body remains on the floor,
still not stirring from the beating and fall he took earlier.

HP:  "The EPC has control of the ring, though!" 

Tawny Blake has sprinted around the side of the ring, 
desperately trying to free Matt Cole from the handcuffs, 
that have him at a severe disadvantage. 
With her head down, fingers working a bobby pin frantically, 
she doesn't see the EPC walking towards her.
The Equalizer extends a massive hand, 
and snakes it full of Tawny's golden locks. 
She drops the pin and looks up, her eyes wide. 
She tries to twist away from The Equalizer,
but he clubs her in the neck with a closed fist. 
She drops to her knees on the apron.
Detson slinks through the ropes and drags Blake to her feet.
CSJ and The Equalizer grab her arms, 
and weave them through the first and second ropes, 
tying her there crucifix-style.
Darien Haley emerges from the other side of the ring,
dragging Ratt Klyczofvski's huge metal ball-n-chain.
He steps through the ropes and starts swinging the ball.
Crimestarter Jim holds Blake's head up so she can see the hit coming.
Darien Haley gives a mighty swing and connects solidly,
sending the ball crushing into Blake's stomach.
The impact is audible to the rafters. 
Blake collapses and goes limp. 

RM:  "NO!  Tawny Blake may have serious internal damage!" 

CSJ releases the ropes, 
and Tawny Blake's body falls from the apron to the floor. 
She crashes to the mats as if she were dead.
Meanwhile, Matt Cole has used Blake's distraction, 
to free himself with her bobby pin. 
He rips the cuff from his wrist and turns to the EPC.
Cole rushes The Equalizer, 
but quickly all four members of the EPC swarm him, 
and despite his best attempts,
Cole becomes the target for a barrage of violence. 

 
(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*) 


A blast of music and a puff of smoke, 
signals the next entrant to the Ark of the Apocalypse.
A slow-moving shadow emerges at the mouth of the entryway.
King Karnage's Mom walks out to a massive pop,
carrying a sandwich on a plate.
She steps over the still-brawling Naoki Yoneyama and Dontre Nero, 
and walks into the ring, 
holding out the sandwich to the four members of the EPC, 
as a peace offering.
The Equalizer smacks the plate out of her hand,
and takes a threatening step towards her.
With surprising agility for someone of her advancing years, 
Mrs. Karnage leaps over the top rope, 
and to the safety of the floor outside the ring. 

PA:  "THE KING'S MOM HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

She looks up at the ring in shock,
disbelieving that these young men could treat her with such disrespect.
King's Mom storms off to the backstage area,
full of rage and motherly frustration.

RM:  "As quickly as she entered, King Karnage's mother is eliminated!" 

HP:  "I wouldn't tussle with The Equalizer.  I think that woman has
more sense than everyone in this league combined." 

Johnny Detson drags Matt Cole, bloodied and beaten, to his feet. 
He puts Cole into a standing headscissors, 
and lifts the Platinum Champion upside down. 
The Equalizer grabs one of Cole's feet, and CSJ grabs the other.
Suddenly, the three members of the EPC leap into the air as one, 
and all three execute a sit-out drop.
Matt Cole is the recipient of a devastating Triple Spike Piledriver,
one that practically sends his skull THROUGH the canvas!
He lists for a moment on his knees, then slumps to the mat.
Johnny Detson rolls him over on his back, 
and puts one foot on his chest, calling for the referee.
The referee moves in for the count,
as the fans loudly boo them all.

ONE!! 
.. 

..

.. 

..

..

..

TWO!!! 
..
 
..
 
..
 
..
 
..
 
..
 
..

..

..

..

THREE!!!


**DING DING DING**

PA:  "Here is the NEEEEW DCWL PLATINUM CHAMPION ... JOOOOOHNNY
DETSOOOOOOOON!!!"

Cole remains motionless on the canvas,
as the Elite Players celebrate around him,
Darien Haley raising Detson's arm as the new Champ.

RM:  "Johnny Detson scores an uncontested pinfall on Matt Cole, the
DCWL Platinum Champion!" 

HP:  "YES!  I LOVE the Apocalypse Match, dammit!  WOO!"

The Equalizer scoops Matt Cole up, 
dragging him to his feet by his hair.
The massive giant stands Cole by the ropes, 
and blasts him with a straight kick, 
that sends Cole tumbling to the canvas,
and then rolling out under the bottom rope,
where he falls to the ground next to Tawny Blake and lies still. 

RM:  "The Champion's advantage states that Matt Cole can re-enter this
ring and compete!  Detson's pinfall victory does not take him out of
the match!" 

HP:  "But, is he gonna be able to get back up and fight?  I don't
freaking think so ... he looks like six miles of bad road." 

Tawny Blake stirs, and gets to her hands and knees.
Darien Haley laughs at her, slips through the ropes,
and delivers a guillotine leg-drop from the apron,
smashing Blake's face back into the cement.
The members of the EPC applaud him and he walks back into the ring, 
to a massive heel heat from the crowd. 


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*) 


A Japanese flag flashes on the video monitor, 
but before music can even start, 
a figure shoots from the backstage area like a gust of wind. 

RM:  "Naja Takemara has entered the Ark of the Apocalypse at number
nineteen!" 

Naja sprints to the ring, 
slides under the bottom rope,
and pops to his feet with blazing speed.
The Elite Players hardly have time to react.
Naja unloads a right hand on Johnny Detson, 
that sends him spinning. 
He ducks under a punch from Crimestarter,
and counters it with a straight chop to Crimestarter's neck.
The Equalizer grabs a hold of Naja in a bear hug,
but Naja slips straight downward out of The Equalizer's grasp,
and rolls between his legs.
Naja delivers a double kick to the back of The Equalizer's knees,
and collapses the giant to a massive cheer!
Johnny Detson streaks back in and tackles Naja.
The two flail to the ground, 
and Naja quickly wraps his legs around Detson, 
and bends one of Detson's arms backwards in a wicked Armbar.
Detson is screaming in pain.

Quickly, though, Crimestarter Jim comes to his partner's rescue,
by dropping a big leg on Naja's neck.
Naja releases Detson and rolls to his side, 
trying to grab a hold of Crimestarter Jim.
The Equalizer grabs Naja's legs, 
and drags him out of the corner to the center of the ring. 

RM:  "The numbers seem to be too much for Naja Takemara!" 

HP:  "There's only so much he can do with these freaking odds ... this
isn't his type of fight, dammit!" 

The Equalizer spreads Naja's legs, 
and stomps down on his crotch. 
Naja is doubled-over, lying on his side on the mat.
Johnny Detson comes behind him and wraps his arm around Naja's neck, 
twisting his head down.
Crimestarter grabs one of Naja's arms and holds it out to his side, 
twists it, then pushes his knee against the elbow joint. 

HP:  "It looks like the EPC is going to give Naja a taste of his own
medicine!  There ain't anyone left in the Apocalypse Match who can
stand up against the Elite Players!  HA!" 

The Equalizer grabs one of Naja's legs and puts him in an ankle lock.
Darien Haley climbs back into the ring, 
and slips Naja's other arm into a Chickenwing submission. 
The four members of the EPC start to really apply the pressure.
In the corner of the ring, 
Haplo the Vagabond is laughing hysterically and applauding.
Naja Takemara is screaming in agony, 
as though they're wrenching his soul from his body. 

RM:  "Someone needs to put a stop to this!" 

Suddenly, there's a huge crowd pop.
As if he's heard Manning, Mark Haley re-emerges from the backstage,
and rushes the ring, 
a trail of black-and-white referee shirts tailing him!
Haley flies through the ropes and stumbling, tackles Darien Haley.
The Equalizer releases Naja's foot and goes to help Darien.
Just as he bends down to grab Mark Haley,
Matt Cole staggers to his feet, rolls into the ring,
and kicks The Equalizer straight in the knee!
Crimestarter drops Naja's arm and rushes over to assist.
Tawny Blake rolls into the ring, clutching her stomach,
and trips CSJ by grabbing his ankle as he tries to rush past. 

RM:  "Tawny Blake and Matt Cole have re-entered this match!  Mark Haley
is in the ring!  Chaos is breaking out all over the ring, as Mark
Haley's anti-EPC team has sprung into action!" 

HP:  "DAMMIT!  Get that idiot Mark Haley out of here!  He's attacking a
member of the Elite Players!  Guido can fire his ass again for this
kind of crap!" 

Darien Haley has managed to free himself from his Mark's grasp, 
and with the fear of self-preservation flowing,
he quickly vaults over the top rope, 
and sprints towards the backstage, a sly grin on his face.

PA:  "DARIEN HALEY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

Mark Haley attempts to roll out of the ring after him, 
but referees swarm him, falling on him, 
and pinning him to the floor mats. 
Haley's face is a mask of frustration, 
and he is beet red and cursing loudly. 

RM:  "Darien Haley has eliminated himself from the Apocalypse Match,
rather than risk the wrath of his brother!" 

The members of the EPC have been separated,
each dealing with his own battle. 
Naja Takemara forces his way out of Johnny Detson's sleeper, 
and quickly knocks Detson back, 
against the ropes with a straight kick.
Tawny Blake rushes past Naja and delivers a clothesline to Detson, 
that practically spins him over the top rope! 

RM:  "Johnny Detson just narrowly avoids being eliminated from the
Apocalypse Match!  He's clinging onto those ropes for dear life!"

Matt Cole drags Crimestarter Jim to his feet, 
and levels him with a kick to the stomach. 
Cole quickly grabs CSJ and locks him into a reverse side headlock.
Cole falls backwards, 
and drives CSJ's head into the canvas with a DDT! 
The Equalizer climbs to his feet and focuses on Naja Takemara.
He throws a lumbering punch at Naja, 
but Naja quickly sidesteps it, grabs his wrist, 
and whips him back towards the ropes.
The Equalizer reverses the throw, 
and pins Naja against the ropes, bending him over the ropes, 
and trying to muscle him over.
Naja loops his foot around the bottom rope, 
to give himself some leverage against the beast.
Suddenly, from across the ring--rested and refreshed--
Haplo charges Naja, too.
Naja sees him coming at the last second, 
and throws himself to the left, away from Haplo's big boot.
The move shifts The Equalizer and he takes Haplo's kick,
directly in the head, throwing him off-balance,
and plunging him over the top rope, 
which Naja was holding down at a lower level!

PA:  "THE EQUALIZER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

Outside the ring, 
Dontre Nero has finally taken enough of Naoki Yoneyama's abuse. 
The Sammich Master has been relentlessly kicking, punching, 
and biting Nero since Nero's entrance.
Nero looks like he's been in a fight with a cat.
With a tremendous heave, he launches Naoki off of him,
and staggers to his feet, feeling his bleeding lip.
Naoki leaps to his feet and charges Nero.
Nero lifts him high into the air with ease, spins,
and slams Naoki to the ground with a Spinebuster slam!
Tawny Blake is pounding away on Johnny Detson,
dropping heavy chops across his chest, 
each one threatening to lift him right over the top rope.
Suddenly, Detson wheels away from her chop
and she swings wildly, falling into the ropes.
Detson grabs her from behind and lifts her straight up into the air,
manoeuvring her over the top rope.
Kicking wildly, Tawny suddenly rocks backwards, 
and falls behind Detson.
She leaps to the corner turnbuckle to her left,
vaults off it, springs onto Detson's shoulders, facing him,
flips backwards and to the side,
and drags Detson over the top rope in a Hurricanrana!
At the last second, Blake grabs the bottom rope and
tucks her legs to her chest, releasing Johnny Detson.
Detson slams hard into the ground,
and with phenomenal strength, 
Tawny pulls herself back up to the apron, 
and rolls back into the ring,
neither foot ever touching the ground! 

PA:  "JOHNNY DETSON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

Detson staggers to his feet,
walking past the just-beginning-to-stir Jess Bollinger,
with a smile on his face despite the pain.
Matt Cole looks on, shaking his head at the sight,
with the knowledge hitting him,
that his chance to regain the Platinum Championship just slipped away.

RM:  "Just when you think you've seen it all!  Tawny Blake shows the
skills that have made her a Grand Champion by almost eliminating
herself to get rid of Johnny Detson!" 

HP:  "DAMMIT!  It's all the fault of that jackass Mark Haley!  Now
Crimestarter Jim is the only Elite Player left in the ring!  It ain't
right, dammit!  IT AIN'T RIGHT!" 


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


Alexander Hawkins III rushes out from the backstage,
and slides into the ring, confronting Haplo the Vagabond,
who was just about to turn his attentions to Naja Takemara! 

RM:  "Alexander Hawkins III is in the Apocalypse Match as the twentieth
entrant!" 

HP:  "This ain't good news for Haplo, dammit.  He's got his two most
hated enemies in the ring with him right now!"

Hawkins nails Haplo with a standing dropkick,
that snaps Haplo's head backwards, 
and sends him stumbling back to the ropes.
Hawkins pursues, leaps to the ropes, 
plants his feet on Haplo's thighs, 
loops his hands behind Haplo's head,
and rocks backwards, flipping Haplo over him with a Monkey Flip!
Quickly, before Haplo can recover, 
Hawkins pops to his feet and dives on Haplo with an elbow drop. 
Adding to the assault on Haplo,
Naja Takemara joins in the fun with a series of stomps,
landing all over Haplo's massive upper body.
Matt Cole is driving massive forearms into the back of CSJ, 
who is doing his best to counter, 
by ramming his shoulder repeatedly into Cole's stomach. 

RM:  "Cole may no longer be the Platinum Champion, but if he wins the
Apocalypse Match tonight, he could claim a shot at both the Platinum
title AND the Grand Championship!"

HP:  "So the winner gets TWO title matches.  If you can get two shots
at the Grand Championship, why waste them on any other freaking
title?!"

Outside the ring, 
Dontre Nero is doing his best to keep the crazed Naoki at bay, 
while trying to manoeuvre himself toward the ring,
hoping to take his frustration out on someone else.
Back in the ring, Tawny slowly rises to her feet,
and staggers over to Cole and Crimestarter,
helping Matt to work over the sole remaining EPC member.
Meanwhile, Naja grabs the legs of Haplo,
twisting them into a pretzel,
and turning over into a Sharpshooter!

RM:  "THE RISING SUN!  There's no submissions in this match, but if
there were, Haplo would be just about finished in the Apocalypse
Match!"

Haplo grunts from the awkward pain of the hold,
as Alexander Hawkins runs into the ropes,
returning with a jumping leg drop,
which slams down onto the back of Haplo's head!
The crowd cheers on the beating of both Haplo and CSJ,
as Hawkins runs into the ropes a second time,
only to be tripped from outside the ring,
and then dragged outside by a recovered Jess Bollinger!

HP:  "HA!  Bollinger took a badass beating at the hands of the Elite
Players, and no one bothered to get his ass away from ringside ... and
now, Hawkins is in there, and reading for an Outlaw beating, baby!"


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


Hawkins is dazed from the fall to the concrete,
allowing Bollinger to stomp him in the face several times!
Meanwhile, Joseph Parminter Junior saunters out into view,
dressed in his County Police uniform,
and wearing the DCWL Plunderweight Championship around his waist!

RM:  "The Plunderweight Championship?!  Where the heck did this
Parminter fellow get that from?"

HP:  "Barney Fife must have drawn it as a weapon!  Naoki is gonna be in
for a world of pain now, dammit!  With the Pigman out here to help
Dontre Nero, you can say goodbye to ol' Sammich-nuts!"

Parminter removes the golden belt from his waist,
and cocks it as a weapon, moving in behind Naoki!
Yoneyama can't see him coming, as Junior rears up,
just as Nero tosses Naoki aside with great force,
causing Joe to smash the gold place into Nero's head instead!
Dontre falls backwards towards the ring apron, 
smacking the back of his head against the edge of the ring.
Naoki looks up, and immediately spots Parminter,
and his eyes suddenly light up with a new hateful fire.
Junior cusses a few racial slurs at Naoki,
calling him on for a fight with a smile on his face.
However, Parminter isn't prepared for Naoki,
who launches himself at Joe with a Thesz Press,
while swishing his arms around in a chopping motion,
knocking the Plunderweight Championship out of his hands,
taking Junior down to the concrete,
and repeatedly slapping him in the face!

RM:  "Naoki Yoneyama remembers how it was Parminter calling the shots
to Dontre Nero at Total Dementia, Hollywood!  And he took his fair
share of cheap shots on Naoki during that match as well!"

HP:  "Still, Manning, that idiot is assaulting an officer of the law,
dammit!  Lock this moron up and throw away the damn key!"

Back in the ring,
Haplo has managed to crawl to the ropes,
clinging onto them with his arms and screaming for a break,
but Naja isn't required to release the hold!
On the opposite side of the ring,
Cole and Tawny each lift a leg of Crimestarter,
trying to double team him over the top rope,
as Jim clings to the top rope for all he's worth.
On the floor, Hawkins tries to rise up to his feet,
as Jess Bollinger pummels him with a flurry of body blows.
Meanwhile, Parminter kicks Naoki off of him, 
and uses the guard rail to rise up to his feet.
However, Naoki is relentless,
coming at Junior with wild uppercut swings,
which Parminter backs away from,
leading both wrestlers closer towards the ring.


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


The crowd lets loose with a medium-strong cheer,
as Greg Allocca bursts out from the backstage area,
his eyes locked on the helpless frame of Haplo the Vagabond!

RM:  "What is Greg Allocca doing out here?!  He told Steve Francis
earlier tonight that he wasn't involved in that match at all!"

HP:  "I bet this little sparkplug was thrown in to replace Jess
Bollinger's missing sack of crap partner!"

Allocca charges around the ring,
to where Haplo is still clinging to the top rope,
trapped still in Naja's Rising Sun submission!
Allocca delivers a series of punches to the face,
before he leaps onto the apron,
slingshots himself over the top rope,
and nailing Naja with a leg lariat to the back of the head,
finally freeing Haplo from the hold!
Allocca turns his attention right back to Haplo,
leaping onto the Greek's back,
grabbing a handful of hair, and slamming his face into the canvas!

RM:  "Greg Allocca took exception to Haplo's words towards him earlier
tonight, and now he's getting some payback!"

Meanwhile, Parminter backs himself right against the ring,
as Naoki approaches with his drunken master swings,
which causes Junior to slide into the ring to avoid Yoneyama.
Naoki follows Parminter into the ring,
only to be greeted with a series of stomps to the back.
Naoki quickly counters by grabbing the leg of Joe in mid-kick,
and then biting the calf of Junior as if it were a Sammich!
Parminter screams out from the pain,
and raising his other leg for a stomp,
only to have Naoki swing up with an arm,
applying a clawhold onto the testicles of Parminter!
Junior begins screaming in a high-pitched wail,
as Nero looks up from the floor,
and can't help chuckling at the sight.
Naoki shuts up Parminter with a headbutt to the face,
causing blood to trickle out from Junior's nose.

HP:  "DAMN!  Naoki means freaking business here, Manning!  He's gonna
make Barney Fife bleed from both heads, dammit!"

RM:  "I think it's safe to say that no one has ever been more
passionate about a tag team than Naoki Yoneyama was about Team
Sammich!"

Naja Takemara comes from behind Allocca,
yanking Greg off of Haplo by his blue hair,
and as Allocca turns around, Naja delivers a slap to the face!
Greg fires off a punch to Naja's face, 
and it gets immediately returned.
At the other side of the ring,
Cole and Tawny grow tired of their stalemate with CSJ,
and together yank him out of the corner,
where his head slams against the canvas.
Meanwhile, Naoki has his lower abdominal clawhold locked on Junior,
and follows up with three more headbutts,
turning Parminter's face into a sobbing mask of crimson!


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


Joe Junior has his hands free, 
but seems positively helpless against Naoki's rage.
Suddenly, Parminter manages to spin Yoneyama against the ropes, and...

*! BLAM !*

.... pulls out his pistol,
firing a shot directly into the left shoulder of Naoki!
Yoneyama immediately releases his holds on Parminter,
before falling limply into the ropes,
where his body flips over the top rope,
falling roughly on the concrete floor below.

HP:  "Ho ... ly ... shit."

RM:  "I can't believe what we've just seen.  If someone is listening in
the back, we need some medical assistance out here IMMEDIATELY!  Naoki
Yoneyama has been SHOT!"

The arena goes completely silent over the actions of Parminter,
and every wrestler stops in their tracks to look at the officer,
who looks around with a self-righteous sneer.
On the floor, Dontre Nero's mouth hangs open in shock,
as the medical team rushes towards the ring.
Following the arrival of the medics,
is a massive frame at the entranceway,
appearing to be carrying an Electric Guitar with him.
Stepping into the lights, the figure is revealed to be Jack Ketch,
fully masked and brandishing the guitar like a baseball bat.

RM:  "Naoki Yoneyama appears to be breathing fine, and is being taken
care of by the medical team.  He's been eliminated from the Apocalypse
Match, but that hardly seems to matter."

HP:  "What matters now, Manning is that Jack freaking Ketch is on his
way to the ring!"

Ketch is slowly marching towards ringside,
taking some of the attention away from Parminter,
who has a grin on his face like he's gotten away with this.
However, he turns around,
staring right into the chest of Dontre Nero,
whose shock has given way to rage and fury!
Junior throws a few idle threats at Nero,
but his voice is cut off by Nero's hands wrapping around his throat!
As Nero backs Parminter into the corner,
Jack Ketch steps onto the ring apron,
eyeing his targets inside of the squared circle.
Matt Cole wastes no time charging the massive demon,
as Ketch raises the guitar for an attack.
Ketch swings, but Cole ducks the attempt,
and then counters with a jabbing shoulder thrust,
only to have Ketch sidestep him,
and deliver a knee lift to the face,
sending Cole sprawling back into the ring,
falling backwards onto his back.
Outside the ring, Bollinger and Hawkins are resuming their battle,
as Jess slams his head into the guard rail,
opening a small gash on Hawkins' forehead!


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


In the corner, Nero holds onto Junior's throat with one hand,
while the other repeatedly smashes fists into his face!
Parminter's already bloodied face becomes even more disfigured,
as his arms and legs go limp from Nero's assault,
yet his body is still held upright by Dontre's hand around his throat.
With tears streaming down his cheeks,
Nero has finally had enough, 
and tosses Parminter over the top rope like a garbage bag.

PA:  "JOSEPH PARMINTER JR HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

RM:  "I've never seen Dontre Nero so possessed with revenge, Hollywood.
 Something tells me there's more to this Nero-Parminter relationship
than we know about."

Meanwhile, Mistress Dandelion has emerged from the backstage area,
carrying a hockey stick in her hands,
to a strong cheer from the crowd!
Inside the ring, Allocca has Naja backed into a corner,
delivering a series of knife-edge chops,
when Dandelion strikes from behind with the hockey stick!

*! CRACK !*

Allocca screams out in pain,
as he spins around to see Dandelion blowing him a kiss,
right before she gets shoved aside,
leaving Allocca staring up into the face of Haplo!
Before Greg can recover from Dandelion's attack,
Haplo has a single-fist chokehold applied,
then lifts him up into a Gorilla press!

*! CRACK !*

Dandelion strikes Haplo with the hockey stick,
sending him staggering towards the ropes,
where Allocca falls out of his grip,
and down to the concrete floor below!

PA:  "GREG ALLOCCA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

HP:  "I don't care where his ass has been before; this Allocca kid is
in way over his head by messing with Haplo!"

Haplo spins around to face his attacker,
and instead receives a double Superkick from Naja and Dandelion!
Haplo tumbles over the top rope,
but manages to land on the apron!
Naja and Dandelion run in to finish off the massive Greek,
but are suddenly caught in a double chokehold,
Haplo catching them each with one hand,
and lifting them off their feet from the ring apron!
Haplo tosses both opponents over the top rope behind him,
sending Dandelion crashing to the concrete below,
while Naja clings to the top rope with his legs,
leaving him hanging upside down!

PA:  "MISTRESS DANDELION HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

Jack Ketch has Matt Cole pinned onto the mat,
where he's got the fat end of the guitar jammed into his throat!
With no disqualifications, the referee looks at the situation,
and begins to count a pinfall!

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

Tawny Blake soars across the ring,
nailing Ketch with a flying forearm to the head,
knocking him backwards and off of Cole to break the pinfall,
as well as the guitar-laden chokehold.


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


Crimestarter Jim rolls under the bottom rope,
landing on his knees upon the concrete to take a breather.
Just then, a MASSIVE torpedo-shaped object begins stumbling into view,
walking to the ring on four off-balance legs.

HP:  "What is that thing?!"

RM:  "Careful, Hollywood ... you're treading on Demented Creations
trademarks there."

HP:  "Oh ... What the hell is that thing?!"

RM:  "Much better.  I haven't a clue, but it kind of ... just a bit ...
resembles ... a Sammich?"

Indeed, as the light catches the four-legged thing,
it appears to be an eight-footlong submarine sandwich,
with a small trail of smoke emitting from the front!
Fans are looking on with immense curiosity,
but it hasn't caught the attention of Bollinger and Hawkins,
who continue to beat the tar out of each other on the floor.
Bollinger goes to whip Hawkins into the guard rail,
but Hawkins reverses the attempt,
causing Jess to crash right into the massive Sammich!

SAMMICH:  "Watch where you're going, dude!"

Just then, the front portion of the Sammich pops off,
revealing the Dude with Long Hair,
bent over to fit into the big Sammich,
with a half-smoked doobie hanging out of his mouth!
Bollinger sneers at the Dude,
and lashes out with a haymaker to the side of the head,
knocking the Dude down and breaking the Sammich in half,
where the Dude with Short Hair is revealed,
glaring at Bollinger with frustration over their ruined prank.

RM:  "Well, if I were to take a guess, I'd say the Dudes are out here
as the Apocalypse Partner of Naoki Yoneyama, who is on his way to a
Tampa hospital as we speak."

Bollinger moves in to attack the Short-haired Dude,
only to be attacked behind by Hawkins,
who staggers into the Dude with Long Hair,
where the lit doobie gets planted between his eyes!

LH:  "GAH!  You ruined my hit, dude!"

SH:  "Hey, I ain't even had a hit yet, dude!"

LH:  "Let's get him for this, dude!"

SH:  "YEAH!"

The Two Dudes toss aside their massive Sammich costume,
and begin stomping and pounding on Jess Bollinger!
Hawkins wipes some blood from his eyes,
looking at the scene and laughing to himself.
Bollinger is holding his head from the doobie burn between his eyes,
as the boots of the Dudes rain down on him!
Finally, Jess has no choice but to retreat,
heading off to the backstage area,
as he is repeatedly mocked by both the fans and Hawkins.


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


Bollinger takes a few threatening swings at nearby fans,
before he turns and points at Hawkins with a frown.
Suddenly, he's knocked down from behind,
by clothesline from a charging Evelynn!
Bollinger slams his fists down in frustration,
as Evelynn runs right past him to the ring,
leaving Jess to finally stumble to the backstage area.

RM:  "Evelynn drew number 26 for the Apocalypse Match!  She's fresh,
and could be a dark horse favorite at this point!"

HP:  "Oh, she's fresh alright ..."

The Two Dudes charge into the ring,
looking to deliver some righteous violence on the most deserving.
They spot Tawny Blake,
who is fending off Jack Ketch's guitar strikes,
with careful dodging and striking back with kicks to the legs.
The Dudes fearlessly charge in on Ketch,
double teaming him with a flurry of punches,
taking his attention away from Ms. Blake.
The Dude with Short Hair takes a moment to wink at Tawny,
hoping to score a date later in the evening,
but his moment of chivalry allows Ketch to swing the guitar,
nailing Short Hair with an uppercut motion,
sending him soaring over the top rope and into the crowd!

PA:  "THE DUDE WITH SHORT HAIR HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

The Dude with Long Hair looks on in disgust,
but after wiping away a bit of blood,
Short Hair rises up within the crowd,
and then begins a mosh pit with them!
Long Hair gets a look of jealousy,
which is wiped away by a backhand strike from Ketch,
sending him down into the middle of the ring.

RM:  "The Two Dudes suffered a loss to Cameron Williams and Ryan Abate
tonight, but it hasn't affected their morale one bit!"

HP:  "That's because they're a couple of dim-witted idiots, dammit! 
They've probably already forgotten they had a freaking match!"

Meanwhile, Naja is still hanging upside down from the ropes,
as Haplo stands on the apron,
trying to stomp Naja's head and send him to the floor!
However, Mistress Dandelion grabs one of his ankles,
and yanks him down with her to the concrete floor!

PA:  "HAPLO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

RM:  "Wait, Haplo isn't out of this match yet!  He only landed on one
foot!  Unbelievable!"

With his long-armed reach,
Haplo hangs onto the bottom rope while on one foot,
then uses his raised leg to kick Dandelion aside!
Naja uses the opportunity to scramble back into the ring,
as Haplo begins dragging himself back in under the bottom rope.
Naja charges into the opposite ropes,
looking to force Haplo out of the match for good,
when his attack is intercepted by a Jack Ketch clothesline,
turning Naja into a crazy flip,
before he lands awkwardly on his head and neck.
Meanwhile, Crimestarter Jim spots the Plunderweight Championship,
on the concrete floor where Parminter left it,
and crawls over on his knees to obtain it,
while trying to keep out of sight from those in the ring.


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


Haplo rolls back to safety in the ring,
as Ketch glares down at Naja like wounded prey.
Suddenly, Dontre Nero's powerful boot soars across the ring,
smashing Ketch across the side of the head,
and sends him spinning around and down to his knees.
Evelynn is helping Matt Cole back to his feet,
as they and Alexander Hawkins begin to target Haplo,
who backs himself into a corner in a defensive position.
Just then, a new figure runs out from the backstage area,
pumping his arms up and down like the Ultimate Warrior!

RM:  "It's THE KING!  King Karnage has joined the Apocalypse Match!"

HP:  "Oh great ... the human volleyball is here for his weekly ass
kicking.  How freaking nice."

King Karnage dives under the bottom rope,
sliding way too far into the middle of the ring,
and smacking his head right into the thigh of Jack Ketch!
The King quickly rolls away from Ketch,
and before the masked beast can remove the King's spine,
Dontre Nero follows up on him with a stiff knee strike,
sending Ketch down to the canvas on his back.
Karnage looks around for an easy fight,
and sees the triple team on Haplo in the corner.
He approaches with great stealth,
and then reaches up, grabbing two handfuls of Evelynn's hair,
before yanking her backwards and down to the mat!
The crowd lets loose with a jeer over the King's tactic,
as he follows up with an elbow drop to the chest!
Matt Cole turns his head to see who attacked Evelynn,
and the distraction allows Haplo to lash out with a headbutt,
sending Cole staggering out of the corner.
Haplo then easily overpowers Hawkins,
spinning him around into the corner where he just was.

RM:  "What is King Karnage doing?!  If he had joined in the attack on
Haplo, that big threat would probably be out of the Apocalypse Match
now!"

HP:  "BAH!  The King sees Evelynn for the tramp she is, dammit!  Anyone
who would hook up with that fool Mark Haley deserves to get her ass
whooped!"

King Karnage flips Evelynn onto her stomach,
and then mounts her back, to apply a rear chinlock!
Meanwhile, the Dude with Long Hair begins to rise,
seeking revenge on Jack Ketch,
who is pinned in the corner by Dontre Nero,
trading punches and trying to fight back to his feet.
Long Hair doesn't think twice about charging into the corner,
then leaping up for a skinny-man vertical splash.
Nero sees the Dude soaring out of the corner of his eye,
and quickly spins to counter with a swinging double ax-handle,
knocking the Dude off-course and over the top rope!
Long Hair crashes onto the concrete floor,
where he briefly lays motionless.

PA:  "THE DUDE WITH LONG HAIR HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

The counter attack by Nero allows Ketch to rise up,
and then strike out with a double chop to the throat,
causing Nero to cough violently, 
and stumble into the middle of the ring.


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


King Karnage remains sitting on Evelynn's back,
locking up her chin with one arm,
while delivering a series of punches to her forehead,
a small gash has opened above her eyebrow,
as the crowd is shocked by the King's brutality towards her.
Suddenly, a smallish man in pleated grey slacks emerges,
charging towards the ring with a leather jacket on his back.

HP:  "Who the hell is this idiot?!"

RM:  "My gosh ... that's THE RAT!  A WWA legend has entered the
Apocalypse Match at number twenty-eight!"

The Rat dives under the bottom rope and into the ring,
immediately rising to his feet,
before grabbing the back of King Karnage's head,
and delivering three stiff knees to the skull!
The King slumps forward to the canvas,
allowing The Rat to attend to Evelynn,
and sitting her up against the ropes.

HP:  "Wait just a damn second ... we've already got a Ratt in the DCWL,
dammit!  Mind you, this monkey humper has already proven himself to be
about fifteen thousand times tougher than Klyczofvski, but that's not
the point!"

In the corner, Haplo is beating on Hawkins,
delivering a mix of forearm and elbow smashes to his old rival.
Haplo scoops up his groggy foe into a fireman's carry,
and looks set to eject Hawkins from the ring,
when Matt Cole moves back in on Haplo,
and begins delivering a flurry of body blows,
while Haplo is unable to fight back with Hawkins on his shoulders!
Suddenly, Cole rears back,
and explodes into Haplo's chest with a left-handed Heart Punch!

RM:  "Matt Cole just nailed the Heart Punch with his good hand!  But
will it have the same power as his right hand used to?!"

Haplo staggers backwards a few steps,
but suddenly falls backwards,
as Naja Takemara is on his hands and knees behind him,
tripping Haplo down to the canvas!
At the same time, Hawkins begins struggling,
and pulls Haplo into a crucifix pinfall!
From the outside the referee counts:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

Haplo braces his legs to kick out,
when Naja rises up to secure his legs and double up the pinfall!

..


..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

Haplo's face contorts,
as he uses all his strength to try another kick out,
just as Matt Cole leaps on top of Naja,
turning the pinfall in a triune effort!

..

..

..

(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  

..

..

THREE!

*! WHAM !*

Tawny Blake's body suddenly soars across the ring,
courtesy of a throw by Jack Ketch,
smashing into Naja and Cole, knocking them away from Haplo,
and allowing him to kick out at the last possible second!

RM:  "Jack Ketch just accidentally kept Haplo from being eliminated
from the Apocalypse Match!"

HP:  "That freaking monkey humper has got a freaking horseshoe up his
ass tonight, dammit!"

Jackson Hunter emerges from the backstage area,
a cocky grin on his face as he sees so many fallen bodies,
but still walks at a leisurely pace,
offering to sign some autographs for aisle way fans,
but getting very few takers.
King Karnage is trapped in the middle of the ring,
looking at both Evelynn and The Rat approaching him.
Suddenly, Matt Cole comes from behind,
trapping the King's arms in a double Armlock,
allowing Rat to move in with a flurry of body blows,
as Evelynn looks at her former friend, shaking her head.

RM:  "King Karnage is being triple teamed!"

HP:  "Why the hell does it take three people to beat the crap out of
this bench warming monkey humper?!"

Cole cinches his hold on the King,
making the King's head jump up, his mouth quivering in fear,
trying to eek out words to beg for mercy,
as Evelynn winds up and slaps the King hard across the face,
bringing about a small cheer from the fans!
Suddenly, all eyes turn to the entranceway,
as the King's Mom re-emerges from the backstage area,
pointing a finger at the ring and shaking it condescendingly.
Even through his pain, the King rolls his eyes,
not wanting his mother to get involved again.
Jackson Hunter can't help but chuckle at the sight,
as King's Mom rolls under the bottom rope,
scolding Evelynn and The Rat for their actions against her son.
Both don't know how to react,
and are suddenly caught off-guard,
as the King's Mom lashes out with a kick to The Rat's groin!
She quickly follows it up by tossing The Rat over the top rope,
only to have him land on the apron,
but King's Mom suddenly lashes out with a Superkick,
knocking The Rat down to the concrete floor!

PA:  "THE RAT HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

Upon rising up from the Superkick,
King's Mom's hair falls down to the canvas,
revealing the head of JT DAMON!
King Karnage suddenly begins laughing and jumping,
but still unable to escape from Matt Cole's grasp.


(*! HOOOOOOOOONK !*)  


Evelynn looks at Damon with disgust,
who begins backing away from the real female,
only to suddenly be tripped up,
and dragged out to the floor by The Rat!
Damon doesn't have a chance to rise back up,
as a series of stomps from Rat keeps him down on the floor.
The King suddenly swings his leg up,
nailing Cole with a low blow to free him, 
and allowing the King to run towards his mentor for the save,
only to be caught by Evelynn in a hip toss,
which sends The King over the top rope,
and crashing down on top of Damon in the process!

PA:  "KING KARNAGE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

Just then, the crowd EXPLODES into wild cheers,
as none other than Cousin Cletus emerges from the backstage area!
He stops at the top of the ramp in his barefeet and overalls,
smiling at his mass of adoring fans,
and he begins stomping his foot for a little ho-down!
Jack Ketch catches sight of the man whose neck he broke,
and steps towards the ropes, letting Cletus know where he is.
Seeing Ketch immediately brings his return celebration to a halt,
and Cletus begins stomping towards the ring,
with the goal of vengeance filling his eyes.

RM:  "UNBELIEVABLE!  Cousin Cletus has returned to the DCWL, and he's
on his way to the ring for a long-overdue showdown with Jack Ketch!"

HP:  "And dammit, he's number thirty!  Talk about a big freaking
letdown for the last big surprise!"

Cletus continues his determined march to the ring,
when suddenly, Rex Creed emerges from within the crowd,
charging into the ring to another crowd cheer,
and along with Matt Cole, they charge behind Ketch,
dumping the distracted monster over the top rope to the floor!

PA:  "JACK KETCH HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

Ketch immediately springs up, glaring back into the ring,
when Cletus attacks from behind with a double ax-handle!
Ketch immediately retaliates with a chokehold,
just as Creed leaps over the top rope,
crashing down onto Ketch's back, and dropping him to the concrete!
Creed and Cletus begin double teaming Ketch,
as Cole can't help but crack a smile at the sight.

RM:  "Jack Ketch has paid the price for all the DCWL wrestlers he's put
on the shelf in the past!  Now his chance of regaining the DCWL Grand
Championship has been dashed!"

Jackson Hunter finally slides into the ring,
and immediately sneaks up behind Cole,
delivering a forearm smash to try and send him over the top rope.
Tawny Blake sees Cole in trouble,
and charges into the opposite ropes to get a head of steam,
when Crimestarter Jim suddenly pops up out of nowhere,
pulling down the top rope,
and sending Tawny falling over the top rope,
but manages to cling onto the top strand and swing her legs,
kicking Crimestarter in the face,
and swinging back onto the apron!
Just then, Naja Takemara runs in to lend a hand,
only to use that hand to wave good-bye to Tawny,
before delivering a dropkick that sends her off the apron,
and down to the concrete floor!

PA:  "TAWNY BLAKE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

HP:  "HA!  Naja is a freaking genius!  He beats Tawny one-on-one, and
then eliminates her from the Apocalypse Match!  Naja owns Tawny,
dammit!  WOO!"

RM:  "We're down to nine wrestlers left in the Apocalypse Match,
Hollywood!  Matt Cole is still in there as the number two entrant,
Haplo is still hanging on after entering sixth ... we're just realized
that Crimestarter Jim is still in there after hiding out for the better
part of twenty minutes ... also remaining are Dontre Nero, Alexander
Hawkins, Evelynn, Jackson Hunter, Naja Takemara, and if he ever
finishes with Jack Ketch, Cousin Cletus is still legal in the match
too!"

Still, outside of the ring, Ketch is now down on one knee,
covering his head from the brutal double-teaming,
of surprise entrants Cousin Cletus and Rex Creed.
Ketch powers his way to both feet, as Cletus and Creed,
continually shower him with overhand punches,
but they seem to be taking no effect.
Suddenly, Ketch lashes out a both hands,
grabbing Creed and Cletus by around their throats,
and begins to choke the life out of them.

HP:  "YEAH!  We've got a battle royal inside and out of the freaking
ring!  Bring on the PLUNDAH, baby!"

RM:  "Remember, Cousin Cletus is still a legal participant in the
Apocalypse Match!  He needs to leave Ketch for now and try to win this
thing!"

Nearby, King Karnage observes the one-on-two beat down,
from behind the shelter of the ring steps,
and begins to turn red in anger,
clenching his fists and slamming them against the steps.
Cletus' face begins to turn purple, and he flays his arms about,
trying to break the death-like grip of Jack Ketch.
Suddenly, in a sacrificial deed, KK runs at the monster,
swinging his arms around like a windmill and begins to pummel Ketch,
who in turn releases both Cletus and Creed by their throats,
and they drop to the concrete, gasping for air.

RM:  "King Karnage has lost his mind!  He's taking the fight to Jack
Ketch!  Evelynn eliminated him from the Apocalypse Match, and now the
King is trying to vent some frustration!"

HP:  "He's gonna be venting some freaking crimson if he keeps this up,
dammit!"

As Ketch looks down at the pint-sized King, 
he shakes his head slowly.
KK quickly turns and runs like a school girl, up the ramp to safety.
Suddenly, Ketch is jolted, as a recovering Creed,
slams a forearm between Ketch's legs, doubling over the mammoth.
Creed yells at Cletus to get to his feet,
as he slams Ketch's head into the guard railing several times.
But just as Cletus makes it to both feet,
he is knocked down by Crimestarter Jim,
who has the Plunderweight title wrapped around his waist now.
Jimbo grabs the lofty Cletus by the overalls,
and flings him into the ring like a bale of hay.

RM:  "Noah Prejudice was the first man eliminated from the Apocalypse
Match after a brutal sledgehammer beating from Rex Creed, and now as
Jack Ketch, Noah is taking another beating at the hands of Creed! 
These two must have the longest standing feud in the history of
professional wrestling!"

Creed shrugs as he sees Cletus begin man-handled by CSJ,
and turns his attention back to a still Ketch,
who is draped throat-first across the railing.
Grabbing the monster by the ponytail,
Creed drags Ketch onto the foot of the ramp,
only for Ketch to break Creed grip on his hair,
and lash out with a fist to Creed's jaw,
spinning Rex around 360-degrees.
Meanwhile, The Rat continues to brawl with JT Damon,
whose Mrs. Karnage costume is beginning to tear and fall apart,
from the rough-housing going on at ringside.
The Rat ducks into a shoulder tackle,
shoving Damon backwards into the guard rail,
where the momentum takes them over it and into the crowd!

RM:  "The Rat has certainly made a splash into the DCWL, and has
spoiled Damon's attempt to help King Karnage win the Apocalypse Match!"

HP:  "Hell, even Giant Gonzales couldn't help the King win this one,
Manning."

RM:  "Giant Gonzales?  He's never won a battle royal, Hollywood."

HP:  "My point exactly, El Super Dorko."

Damon is first to his feet, and lunges forward,
with a snapping front kick, hitting The Rat in the face,
as he struggles to stand on both feet.
Damon follows up with a spear, but Rat manages to keep his feet,
and they both fly backwards through the crowd,
brawling throughout the masses of cheering fans, 
until their brawl fades into the distance.
Elsewhere, Ketch has Creed draped across his shoulder,
and the ex-grand Champion begins to trudge up the ramp,
pointing at King Karnage with his free hand.

HP:  "YES!  It's judgement day for King Karnage, Manning!  Ketch is
gonna put this idiot in the hospital for good, dammit!"

KK trembles, looking side to side, as Ketch gets closer and closer.
Suddenly, Creed comes to life, and wriggles his way free,
falling behind Ketch, and landing cleanly on his feet.
Instantly, Creed pushes Ketch forward, straight at KK,
who acts quickly, dashing to his side,
and diving from the side of the ramp, into the crowd.
The crowd holds KK aloft, as the King 'surfs' his way to safety.

RM:  "Did you see that dive, Hollywood?!  If the King could learn to do
that from the top rope, it could be pretty effective!"

Ringside, CSJ leans on the railing, watching a groggy Cousin Cletus,
struggle to climb to his feet, and begins to chuckle to himself.
Pushing off the guardrail, CSJ casually strides up to the apron,
and rolls into the ring, propping himself up, right next to Cletus.
But, before Jim can resume his assault on Cletus,
he is greeted with a kick to the face, by a sneaky Evelynn.
CSJ is taken back by the surprise attack,
and quickly sets about rectifying it by charging Evelynn,
but Evelynn dodges to one side, grabbing Jim's arm in the process.

RM:  "Crimestarter Jim is FINALLY back in the ring, Hollywood!  Talk
about ducking the competition!"

HP:  "BAH!  Ol' Jimbo is a freaking genius, dammit!  He's well rested
now, and ready for anything these monkey humpers can throw at him!"

Tawny Blake remains on the concrete floor,
showing some clear frustration over her comparatively early exit.
Meanwhile, Evelynn holds Jim's arm in an armbar,
while delivering a trio a stiff knees to the ribs,
before preparing to whip him into the ropes.
Tawny sees her chance for revenge,
and immediately goes to pull down the top rope,
but doesn't see Jim reverse the Irish whip,
resulting in Evelynn tumbling over the top rope instead,
where she crashes down to the concrete floor!
Tawny looks down in shock, seeing the bad turn of events,
as Crimestarter looks down at both women with a look of pride.

PA:  "EVELYNN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

Evelynn quickly leaps to her feet, 
and gets into the face of Tawny Blake,
who points at Crimestarter Jim, and screams back in defence.
Evelynn raises her hand, poised to strike Ms. Blake,
as Crimestarter can't help but laugh at the bickering ladies.

HP:  "Did you see that wench Tawny Blake?!  She couldn't stand that
Evelynn outlasted her in the match, and set up this little plot to
cheat her out of the win!  What a jealous little whore!"

RM:  "You know perfectly well that wasn't Tawny's intention,
Hollywood!"

Neither woman is backing down from the confrontation,
each ready to unleash their collective frustration,
when they both look up at Crimestarter Jim,
who is no longer laughing at them,
as his body soars over the top rope,
crashing down to the concrete between them!

PA:  "CRIMESTARTER JIM HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

CSJ turns around in anger, and looks into the ring,
where Cousin Cletus and Matt Cole are looking down at him.
Crimestarter kicks the ground with his feet in frustration,
adjusting the Plunderweight title still around his waist,
when he's tapped on the shoulder.
Slowly, he turns around, 
and is met with two vicious punches to the jaw,
both knocking him two weeks from Saturday!
Evelynn and Tawny Blake pull CSJ to his feet,
but he pushes them aside, and begins to scramble up the ramp.
Evelynn turns to Tawny, who silently nods in reply,
and they chase after the cowardly CSJ,
who has now exited behind the curtain. 

RM:  "The former DCWL Tag Team Champions, Matt Cole and Cousin Cletus,
come together to eliminate Crimestarter Jim from the Apocalypse Match! 
Wait a second ... what's the chances of Cletus being out here as Cole's
partner for the match?!"

HP:  "I think that chance is pretty damn high, Manning."

RM:  "We've only got seven wrestlers left in the match, and there's
just one team still intact!"

In one corner of the ring,
Dontre Nero and Alexander Hawkins are double-teaming Haplo,
while Naja Takemara and Jackson Hunter trade chops in another.
Cole and Cletus take survey of the ring,
discussing where they should strike next,
before moving in to join in on the assault on Haplo!
Cletus moves in behind Dontre Nero,
but Nero doesn't recognize the hillbilly,
and immediately launches a back elbow strike into his face!
Cletus staggers backwards into the middle of the ring,
as Cole whips Nero around from Haplo,
and nails him with a European uppercut!
Nero strikes back with a hard right punch to the face,
when Dontre is suddenly kicked in the gut by Cletus,
followed by a double front chancery,
as Cole and Cletus lift Nero into a double vertical suplex,
before suddenly falling into a double brain buster!

HP:  "BAM!  What a move!  Hell, if Cole and Cletus can keep up this
crap, Matt Cole might very well walk away from this one the winner!"

RM:  "Dontre Nero is in some trouble here, and Cousin Cletus is going
for the pinfall!"

Cletus hooks a leg on Nero,
as Matt Cole stands guard to defend his partner.
The referee counts:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..


THREE!!

NERO BRINGS THE SHOULDER UP!

The referee signals that it was only a two count,
as the crowd mildly jeers the call.
Cletus goes to pull Nero to his feet,
when Dontre suddenly lashes out with an eye poke,
and then rolls away to safety,
as Cole helps his partner to his feet.
Meanwhile, the chests of Jackson and Naja are bright red,
as their chop-fest has come to a stalemate.
Naja raises his hands to call for a truce,
as he points out Cletus and Cole strategizing together.
In the other corner,
Hawkins is trying to lift one of Haplo's trunk-like legs over the top,
when Haplo reaches out to grab Hawkins in a chokehold.
Hawkins tries to back away, allowing Haplo to free his leg,
but just as he does,
Hawkins spins into Haplo's body and out of the choke,
at the same time applying a 3/4 chinlock,
and running into a chinbreaker bulldog!

RM:  "CHA-CHING!!!  Alexander Hawkins just hit Haplo with his finishing
manouver!"

HP:  "BAH!  I hate the name of that damn move!"

Hawkins lays face-up on the canvas for a moment,
completely winded from the duration of the match.
The brief pause is broken,
as Cole and Cletus suddenly charge across the ring,
crashing down with a double elbow drop on Hawkins!
They each hook a leg on him,
and the referee counts the double pin:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!!
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

THREE!!!

Hawkins simply doesn't have the strength to kick out,
and the referee makes the call to the ring announcer.

PA:  "ALEXANDER HAWKINS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

Cole and Cletus rise up off of their victim,
and Hawkins rolls out under the bottom rope,
receiving a strong cheer from the crowd as he rises up,
and staggers off to the backstage area in dejection.
The former champs share a victory handshake,
when suddenly, Jackson and Naja charge across the ring,
and attack the fan favorite duo with a double flying forearm!
Cletus manages to sidestep Naja,
and counters by planting his head into the canvas!
Cole cannot avoid Jackson Hunter, however,
and crumbles to the canvas,
his body clearly growing more and more exhausted.

RM:  "Matt Cole is fortunate that Cletus is in there with him, because
he looks to be running on empty now!  Remember, Matt Cole started the
match as the number two draw, and has probably been in the match for
close to two hours now!"

Cletus is quick to come to Cole's aid,
knocking Jackson Hunter to his knees with a forearm smash,
before grabbing onto his blue hair,
and hurling him over the top rope!
Hunter blocks the attempt by hooking his ankle on the bottom rope,
and then rebounds with a backhand strike to the face!
Cletus takes the blow and comes right back,
charging at Jackson with a clothesline,
which Hunter ducks and then spins around into a reverse waistlock,
trying to use Cletus' momentum to get him over the top rope.
At that moment, Haplo comes from behind,
and scoops up both wrestlers,
throwing Cletus and Jackson up and over the top rope,
where both land on the ring apron!

HP:  "Hey, ya gotta give credit to Haplo too, Manning.  That big ogre
showed up at number six, and has nearly been eliminated more times than
you've been laid!"

Haplo moves in for the kill,
when Matt Cole leaps up from the canvas,
and takes Haplo down with a lower abdominal spear!
On the apron, Jackson goes to kick Cletus off and into elimination,
but Cletus catches the foot of Hunter,
to a loud pop from the crowd!
Jackson Hunter is begging for mercy,
as Cletus cracks a big hillbilly smile, 
over the position he's got Jackson in at this moment.
Suddenly, Naja darts out from the canvas,
swinging his legs into a leg sweep,
which connect with the ankles of Cousin Cletus,
knocking him off the apron and to the concrete floor!

PA:  "COUSIN CLETUS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

The crowd loudly jeers the announcement,
but some cheers are still ringing,
as Cletus has not released Jackson Hunter's foot!
Jackson clings to the top rope,
as Cletus tries to pull Jackson down to the floor with him.
Jackson reaches out one arm to Naja for help,
and Takemara obliges, grabbing Hunter's wrist with both hands,
as Cletus continues to pull on his leg as well,
causing Jackson to groan out in pain over the awkward stretching.

RM:  "Jackson Hunter is on the verge of elimination, being pulled in
two directions by Cousin Cletus and Naja Takemara!"

HP:  "I thought Cletus was all about fair play and that fairy tale crap
.... so what the heck is he doing with Jackson Hunter like this,
dammit?!"

RM:  "Cletus is trying to help Matt Cole become the new Number One
Contender!"

Clearly the stronger of the three, 
Cletus appears to be winning the tug-o-war with Jackson's body,
and Hunter senses it, 
reaching out with his other arm to get a double grip on Naja.
Right at that moment, Naja releases Jackson's arm,
and he goes soaring off the apron, 
and crashing onto Cousin Cletus on the concrete floor!

PA:  "JACKSON HUNTER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

Naja Takemara only grins at the chaos he created briefly,
before spinning around to focus on the action in the ring.
Dontre Nero is crouched in one corner,
while Matt Cole is mounted on Haplo's torso,
throwing some very weak punches at the Vagabond,
who is equally weak in trying to block them.

RM:  "We're down to the FINAL FOUR!  One of either Matt Cole, Haplo the
Vagabond, Dontre Nero, or Naja Takemara will walk away the winner of
the 2004 Apocalypse Match!  Any predictions, Hollywood?"

HP:  "It's hard to go against Naja, Manning.  The dude has been sneaky
and brilliant throughout the match, and he's been in there less time
than any of the other three."

Nero slowly rises to his feet,
as Naja approaches center ring.
The two circle each other briefly,
when Dontre glances over at Matt Cole.
Suddenly, both Nero and Naja charge in on Cole,
yanking him off of Haplo's winded frame,
and delivering a series of punches to Cole,
backing him into the ropes.
Nero and Naja whip him into the opposite ropes,
and go for a double backdrop on Matt,
but Cole manages to swing his boot up and kick Naja in the face,
knocking him down and away from the action.
Cole begins throwing desperate punches at Nero,
who absorbs each of Cole's weakened attacks,
before countering with a knee to the midsection.

RM:  "I think Matt Cole might be running on empty now ... his assault
on Dontre Nero isn't having any effect!"

Nero muscles Cole around and back against the ropes again,
pressing his forearm into Cole's upper chest,
and slowly overpowering Matt's body,
forsing his torso to lean over the top rope.
Cole continues to fight back with punches and knee strikes,
but his weakened state limits their potency,
as Nero continues to slowly muscle Cole over the top rope.
Cole needs to stop punching to grasp onto the ropes,
as his body now straddles the top rope helplessly.
Cole grips with all his might,
but a solid Nero knee lift to his spine makes his arms limp,
allowing Dontre to easily shove Cole down to the concrete floor.

PA:  "MATT COLE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

Cole's body remains motionless on the concrete floor,
as he has used every ounce of strength to remain in the match,
with none remaining to stand up again.

HP:  "Look at the freaking hick!  He gave up!  He spent all this damn
time staying in the match, only to quit at the end!  What pansy-ass
monkey humper!"

RM:  "Matt Cole fought this match with honor and integrity, and after
the longest match he'll likely ever compete in, he simply ran out of
gas, Hollywood.  There's no quit in Matt Cole, as we all know!"

HP:  "BAH!"

Dontre Nero is breathing heavily after the struggle,
and he slowly turns back to center ring,
when suddenly...

*! THWACK !*

Naja Takemara nails Nero in the face with a superkick!
Nero drops flat out onto his back,
and Naja falls on top of him for the pinfall!

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!!
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

KICKOUT BY DONTRE NERO!

The crowd is re-energized by Nero's kickout,
as Naja rolls away into the ropes, shaking his head.
Nero rises up to one knee, shaking off the cobwebs,
when he suddenly gets yanked up to his feet by Haplo,
and shoved into a standing headscissors!

HP:  "We're gonna see the Nexus Powerbomb on Dontre Nero, dammit! 
Knock his ass into the middle of next week, Haplo!"

Haplo's head seems a little wobbly on his shoulders,
as he reaches down for the waistlock,
and then grunts loudly as he picks Nero up for the powerbomb,
only to drop him back down again halfway!

RM:  "He can't do it, Hollywood!  Haplo, like Matt Cole, has run out of
power!  He can't hit the Nexus Powerbomb!"

Haplo cinches down for another lift attempt,
when Nero suddenly tenses his knees and goes for the backdrop counter,
only to have a Haplo forearm smash keep him in place.
Haplo takes a deep breath,
and lets out a massive war cry:

HAPLO:  "GYAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

Haplo lifts up again for the Nexus Powerbomb,
but looks to be failing again,
when Naja Takemara suddenly dives into the scene,
helping Haplo to lift Nero into the air!
Haplo quickly plummets Nero's body back down into the canvas,
when Naja spiking Nero's head into the mat at the same time!

RM:  "Who in the world would have predicted that Haplo and Naja
Takemara would EVER do any kind of double team work in the Apocalypse
Match?!"

HP:  "Ol' Panzerotti sure didn't..."

Naja rolls away from the scene,
as Haplo collapses on top of Nero's crumbled body,
and the referee counts:

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

..

TWO!!
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..


THREE!!!

Nero gives a half-hearted attempt at a kickout,
but it isn't enough,
as the referee makes the signal to the announcer.

PA:  "DONTRE NERO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

The crowd is suddenly buzzing,
as Nero slowly rolls out of the ring,
and staggering to their feet,
are just Naja Takemara and Haplo the Vagabond!

RM:  "The FINAL TWO!  Naja Takemara and Haplo the Vagabond have been at
each other's throats all season long, and now they're finally going to
square off one-on-one, in the finals of the Apocalypse Match!"

Haplo's eyes have a glazed over look in them,
as Naja looks on with a slight smirk on his face.
Their eyes lock from across the ring,
and the intensity begins to grow.
Haplo's glazed look begins to give way to old hatred,
while Naja slaps his face a few times,
preparing himself for the final battle.

HP:  "Look at Haplo!  He's feeding off his hatred for Naja, dammit! 
He's getting STRONGER!  Naja's gonna wish he never had thrown cow
brains at this Greek mountain man!"

The two wrestlers begin to move in towards each other,
as the crowd rumble begins to rise into a tensed cheer.
Suddenly, Haplo lashes out with a wild punch,
sending the crowd into hysterical cheers!
Naja ducks the haymaker,
then comes out around to Haplo's side,
delivering a quick flurry of jabs to the ribs!
Haplo quickly swings around with a closed fist ax-hammer,
smashing Naja across the side of the head,
and sending him sprawling down onto the canvas.
Naja rolls onto his back,
and suddenly nips up to his feet,
with the crowd loudly cheering on the showdown!

RM:  "It all comes down to this long-standing feud between Haplo and
Naja Takemara, which all started on November 28th, 2003 in a match for
the old DCWL Purebreed Championship!"

Haplo moves in on Naja,
and the two lock up in the middle of the ring!
Haplo easily powers Takemara into the corner,
and then thrusts forward with a headbutt,
breaking the tie-up forcing Naja to fall into the corner,
where Haplo then delivers a knee to the gut,
followed by a mighty forearm smash to the chest.
Haplo then grabs Naja's arm and whips him into the opposite corner,
where Naja crashes with great force,
and staggers out a few steps,
in perfect position as Haplo charges across the ring,
raising his leg for a big boot to the face,
but Naja dodges to the side at the last second,
and Haplo's leg winds up draped over the top rope!
Naja quickly pounces,
scooping under Haplo's other leg,
and trying to lift his body up over the top rope.

RM:  "Naja's doing it!  He's going to win the Apocalypse Match!"

HP:  "It ain't over till two feet hit the damn floor, Manning!"

Haplo mounts a defense by hooking one arm over the top rope,
and then gets the other wrapped under Naja's right arm.
Naja continues lifting Haplo's leg,
when Haplo suddenly shifts his weight,
lifting Naja off the mat and trying to pull him over the top,
while Takemara maintains a tight grip on Haplo's leg.
and the two suddenly tumble over the top rope!
Both men land on the apron,
each trying to remain on the mat edge,
while hoping to force the other onto the concrete.

HP:  "C'MON HAPLO!  We need you to beat the crap out of Ashner for the
Grand Championship, dammit!"

RM:  "What about Naja Takemara?!  A match between him and Ashner could
be one for the ages, Hollywood!"

HP:  "Hey, I like Naja as much as the next humanoid, but he ain't gonna
cripple that little kabuki fairy!"

Both wrestlers continue to be tied up on the apron,
neither being able to eliminate the other without falling themselves.
Finally, they both break the tie up,
and Naja immediately rolls back into the ring,
while Haplo walks a few steps on the apron before doing the same.
The crowd is loudly cheering,
as both Naja and Haplo rise to their feet again,
breathing heavily from the physical output.
Again, they move in towards each other,
and go for another lock-up,
when Haply suddenly lashes out with an eye rake,
causing Naja to scream out from the surprising pain,
stepping back a few steps.
Haplo quickly delivers a kick to the gut,
doubling Naja over in the center of the ring.
Haplo shoves Naja's head into a standing headscissors!

HP:  "NEXUS POWERBOMB!  CRUSH HIS ASS, ONCE AND FOR ALL!"

RM:  "Haplo couldn't lift Dontre Nero earlier, but if Haplo can hit the
Nexus cleanly, the Apocalypse Match will be over!"

Haplo reaches down for the waistlock,
and as he pulls up on Naja's smaller body,
Naja kicks his leg out, driving his knee into Haplo's,
with the lifting motion further pullign Naja's knee up,
causing Haplo to gasp from the unexpected pain,
and instead of pulling Naja upwards,
Haplo falls downwards, face-first towards the canvas!
Naja still has the knee trapped,
as he acts quickly to wrap Haplo's other leg behind the first,
lifting them up and sitting back into a sharpshooter deathlock!

RM:  "THE RISING SUN!  Naja Takemara has managed to counter the Nexus
Powerbomb and turn it into the Rising Sun!"

HP:  "But there ain't no submissions in this match, Manning!  How
stupid can one ass get?!"

Haplo is squinting in pain on the canvas,
as Naja has the knees tightly locked,
and uses his other arm to pull up on the knees,
further wrenching on Haplo's back.
Haplo is looking for any hope of an escape,
and begins to push off the mat with his arms,
to relieve the pressure on his back,
and try to power out of the hold with his upper body.
Haplo then twists his upper body,
trying to turn from his stomach to his back,
to relieve some of the pain on his legs.
Haplo is mostly on his back, 
with his legs still tightly secured by Naja,
when Naja suddenly drops backwards,
bridging back and grabbing onto Haplo's head,
wrapping him into a sharpshooter small package!

ONE!
..

..

..

..

..

TWO!!
..

..

..

..

..

..

..

Haplo goes to kick out of the new move,
but his legs are too tightly wrapped!

..

..

..

THREE!!!


**DING DING DING**


PA:  "Here is your winner of the Apocalypse Match ... NAJAAAAAAAA
TAKEMAAAAAAARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

(The crowd erupts into cheers, as Naja finally releases the hold on
Haplo's knees, and quickly rolls away from his dangerous opponent.  The
referee moves in and raises Naja's arm in a token of victory, who leaps
up into the air in celebration, before he collapses back to the canvas,
all to a massive cheer from the crowd!)

RM:  "NAJA DID IT!  NAJA WINS!  NAJA WINS THE APOCALYPSE MATCH!  NAJA
IS THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER!!!"

HP:  "What the hell was that thing he beat Haplo with?!"

(Haplo remains on the canvas, completely spent from the longest match
of his lengthy career.  He slowly rolls out of the ring, too exhausted
to even think about revenge right now.  Just then, Mistress Dandelion
runs back out to the ring, boobies jiggling more than ever, before she
slides into the ring and leaps on top of Naja, planting celebratory
kisses all over his face!)

HP:  "Well, if Ashner isn't gonna wound up a damn cripple, at least Ol'
Panzerotti gets to see Da Jugs of Mistress Dandelion!"

RM:  "Folks, we are unquestionably out of time!  Please tune in for our
next episode of Total Dementia, when the Apocalypse Aftermath explodes
on your television screens!  GOOD NIGHT, FOLKS!"

(Naja is slowly rising up to his feet, a cocky smirk creeping on his
face, as the referee and Mistress Dandelion raise his arms in a final
moment of celebration!  Fade to black.)


© 2004 - Demented Creations, Inc.