The Dark Castle Weekly
January 18, 2001
Issue 6
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Well, I hope everyone is enjoying the contest. I quit
after I realized I had no chance with my warrior.
There seems to be server problems again and the mud
will be up as soon as possible. Please do not
bother the immortals about it. If it was under their
control, this would not be occuring. If you have
nothing to do, check out my website.
www.geocities.com/dcweekly
or
go.to/dcweekly
I was not able to update the motd because the mud is
down. I hope I did not miss anything important. The
jokes section will be continued due to demand.
The newbie trivia along with the newbie section will
be continued as soon as the contest is over. I would
like to know who are all the contest winners. If you
are a winner and care to brag or if any of the
immortals don��t mind sending me an email about it, I
would put you in the headlines and give you the
respect you deserve for your accomplishments.
I have no more submissions. Let��s keep them coming
folks. If you want to talk shit to someone, write a
poem. Draw a cartoon. Make a website about them.
Better yet, submit a joke. Anything creative will be
appreciated and used on my discretion.
I was unable to fit one submission. So I will be
sending it out to you all on another email.
That��s all folks. On with the show!
The Editor
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Clan Chaos Section
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There was no clan chaos that I know of because there
were no clans this week.
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Motd Section
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Newbie channel put in.
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12/26/00
Some bug fixes made to solar gate.
Equipment data was shortenend and colored. I'm
thinking of
removing color from "Excellent" in order to make it
less gaudy
and not so annoying to look at. Shrug, opinions are
welcome, I
don't know if I like it yet or not. Email is best.
-pir
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12/30/00
DONATIONS: Donations are on hold for the moment. We
are changing the
system. If you had planned on donating during the
next few days, we
[ Return to continue, (q)uit, (r)efresh, (b)ack, or
page number (2 3) ]
apologize for the inconvience.
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01/03/01
New socials! soup/multiplay (Sibiskis) kowtow
(Naubol)
joboo (Vortimer) swipe
(Tobi)
hoover (Trick) phatty
(Brashen)
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01/08/01
Monday CC's have been cancelled.
Natasha has taken a leave of absence or something like
that.
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01/11/01
ANNOUNCEMENT: Friday at midnight (1/12 EST) we will
be backing up
and removing all the pfiles. We will be having a
mud-wide competition to
see who can be the first to get to level 50. The
winner will recieve a
"special" item. (100% haste/100% sanct) Once someone
wins, we will wipe
the characters, restore the pfiles, and reward the
winner. There will be
no clans for the duration on the contest. There will
be no immortal
assistance for anything during the contest (ie,
restrings, etc).
More details may be forthcoming on the mortal board.
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From the Slacker��s Clan Board
Submission by Spice
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Ommitted from website because I can't get it to look right. It
took a while to get it looking right on email. If you want to
see the submission. Email me at [email protected] and write
subscribe on the subject header and ask for issue 5 in the body.
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Rkill of Nemeskal
Submission by Disease
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The center aisle
Nemeskal the Giant [Darkened] is here.(Halo)
backstab nemeskal
-Nemeskal has: electricity! flying!
Exits: north east south west
-8625/353/765/-1000 Tank [ ]
Nemeskal makes a strange gargling sound as you place
A Flickering
Poinard in
his back.
Your own private rainbow hits Nemeskal in the face -
WOWIE.
Nemeskal howls as your sparks shower around him.
-8248/353/765/-1000 Tank [[slightly hurt]] (near
death)
a putrid corpse has arrived.
a putrid corpse screams 'YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T
HIDE!'
Nemeskal dodges a putrid corpse's attack.
a putrid corpse obliterates Nemeskal!
Nemeskal is DEAD!!
Your blood freezes as you hear Nemeskal's death cry.
look
-8248/353/765/-1000 Tank [ ]
The center aisle
the corpse of Nemeskal is lying here.
A zombie mindlessly staggers towards you.
Exits: north east south west
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Jokes Section
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1)W H A T A M I ??? THIS USEFUL TOOL, COMMONLY
FOUND IN THE RANGE OF 8 INCHES LONG. THE
FUNCTIONING OF WHICH IS ENJOYED BY MEMBERS
OF BOTH SEXES. IS USUALLY FOUND HUNG, DANGLING
LOOSELY, READY FOR INSTANT ACTION. IT BOASTS OF A
CLUMP OF LITTLE HAIRY THINGS AT ONE END AND A
SMALL HOLE AT THE OTHER. IN USE, IT IS INSERTED,
ALMOST ALWAYS WILLINGLY, SOMETIMES SLOWLY,
SOMETIMES QUICKLY, INTO A WARM, FLESHY, MOIST
OPENING WHERE IT IS THRUST IN AND DRAWN OUT AGAIN
AND AGAIN MANY TIMES IN SUCCESSION, OFTEN QUICKLY
AND ACOMPANIED BY SQUIRMING BODILY MOVEMENTS.
ANYONE FOUND LISTENING IN WILL MOST SURELY
RECOGNIZE THE RHYTHMIC, PULSING SOUND, RESULTING
FROM THE WELL LUBRICATED MOVEMENTS. WHEN FINALLY
WITHDRAWN, IT LEAVES BEHIND A JUICY, FROTHY, STICKY
WHITE SUBSTANCE, SOME OF WHICH WILL NEED CLEANING
FROM THE OUTER SURFACES OF THE OPENING AND SOME
FROM ITS LONG GLISTENING SHAFT. AFTER EVERYTHING
IS DONE AND THE FLOWING AND CLEANSING LIQUIDS HAVE
CEASED EMANATING, IT IS RETURNED TO ITS FREELY
HANGING STATE OF REST, READY FOR YET ANOTHER BIT
OF ACTION, HOPEFULLY REACHING ITS BRISTLING CLIMAX
TWICE OR THREE TIMES A DAY,BUT OFTEN MUCH LESS.
What am I? AS YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY GUESSED, THE ANSWER
TO THE RIDDLE IS NONE OTHER THAN YOUR VERY OWN...
TOOTHBRUSH!
2)
There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does
not know
which one to marry. So he decides to give each one
$5000 and see
how each of them spends it. The first one goes out
and gets a total
makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new
hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the
works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I
could look
pretty for you because I love you so much."
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a
CD player, a
television, and a stereo and gives them to the man.
She says, "I
bought these gifts for you with the money because I
love you so
much."
The third one takes the $5000 and invests it
in the stock market,
doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man
and
reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest
of the
money for our future because I love you so much."
The man thought long and hard about how each of the
women spent
the money, and decided to marry the one with the
biggest breasts.
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Newbie Helper Awards
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Antioch
Bibble
Berzerk
Bulky
Darkenblade
Darkan
Haldane
Justel
Lit
Mea
Muhammad
Nemeskal
Ninjaro
Nubis
Optimum
Rampage
Tribe
Tronks
Trusicrpr
Tylenol
Warui
Wexx
Zipp
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