Wolverhampton Pub Guide 2005

WOLVERHAMPTON PUB GUIDE AUTUMN 2005
A PRE-GIG DRINK IN AN ALIEN TOWN CAN BE A BIT OF A LOTTERY!
SO HERE IS PETER DON'T CARE & FAT CYRIL'S GUIDE TO
WOLVERHAMPTON, UK's CITY CENTRE PRIME DRINKING HOLES, DIVES & RIP-OFFS.

[This article was first published in The Suffragette #5 fanzine Autumn 1997. It has now been updated and revised to cover the current climate...Autumn 2005.
[Certain names and individuals have been erased for the sake of liberty and my neck!]
More up to date pix on all the bars will be added when get round to it!

THE VARSITY - In the late 70's this
was the most notorious boozer in the
West Midlands... The George Hotel.
It's bar was frequented by Paddy's,
bums and general low-lifers from all
over town! Even me old man (RIP)
used to frequent here. And you
name it, it happened in this den of
eniquity. However it was the best
pub I have yet to come across
personally in 28 years of drinking.
The fucking laughs, sights and
experiences I have had/seen in here
was enough to write a book about.
At the time of my first look in, I was a
young naive 15 year old PUNK
ROCKER mixing with lunatics
nutcases and some genuine
characters. For the next 3 or 4
years I had some of the best fun I've ever had or ever will have in my entire fucking life. It was that much of an inspiration I even wrote a song about the pub 'Meet Me In The George Bar' which was a big hit in the TORCHA SHED set 15 years later. Even the Angelic Upstarts visited its lounge in 1979 beforegettng soaked in beer. The George was a proper pub in every sense of the word. A dog-rough bar and lounge full of lunatics. lt was used by the most notorious gang of drunken thugs this town has set eyes on. Football gangs came from all over the country just to take this pub. It was a no-go area to Students, courting couples, Hells Angels and any other mobs who fancied their chaces. But was open to anyone with a sense of fun. In fact anyone who had an ounce of normality about em was probably a long way away from this fucking mad-house.
However that was in the 70's and time has now caught up with it. The pub has now been renovated completely, all the real people have been barred and outpriced. lt is now a safe Student pub full of local University residents and expensive beer. They have various events live gigs upstairs even the odd punk gig, but if you want real laffs deaf this pub out! (P.D.C.)
The clientele are students/youths does food, and a happy hour? The beer is very dear but the range and taste are good. (Cyril)

THE HOGS HEAD - Situated cross the road from the Varsity. Used to be the Vine which was a great seedy little bar frequented by the Punks and hoooligans in the early 80's, now it's just a fucking big office party venue for the bored and commercial sector, not very much fun at all. Has incorporated a big screen so an alternative venue to watch England matches if you get barred from other bars

THE ROYAL LONDON - Also situated across the road from The Varsity. Massive young student hangout with pool tables and those chill out leather settees. The massive windows beg for a stool! Has a Tuesday 'happy hour' I believe but I ain't checked it out to confirm yet....always looks empty in the day time? Is supposedly the current hangout for some of the Wolverhampton new punk elite like the Blunts ha! Serves late and I got in here one night pissed up so its gotta be worth a visit.(P.D.C)

THE TUBE - Another trendy/student incorporated pub dating back to the
1880's. Can't give you a proper review as I'm barred when I had words with
the wanker who runs it one day. Yet again another pub in it's neon signed
cold modern decor that has a dodgy past. lt's new found customers would
have left their drinks standing and avoided it like the plague if they knew
what once went on within it's once seedy walls. For this pub was formerly
known as 'The Greyhound' which meant Ultra-Violence Incorporated during
the late 70's/early 80's. The Greyhound just missed "The George's'
reputation by inches. lt was full of gangsters, middle-aged blokes not kids
but fucking dangerous cunts. lt was a no-go area but funnily enough home
to the early 80's 'Wolverhampton Punx' as we were called. We got the odd
scare in there off the drunken gangsters, but most of the time they left us
alone. Anyone who, wanted to keep their features intact avoided this place.
They tried to clean it up when it closed and become Little Austria, Cadillacs
which Torcha Shed used to frequent quite often and then it become the
Feline & Firkin till the brewery collapsed. It now comes with hollow stares
and demeaning attitude by some doormen/staff which safely reassures us
that if push come to shove, we would be out on our ear. This is the kind of
bar where it's alright to take a bird if your one of lifes trendy set on a
Friday and Saturday night, Serves till 2 in the morning.(P.D.C)
Loads of Students. Does food, games machines, and doorstaff only on
weekend's. The beer prices are expensive (Cyril)

REVOLUTION - Immediately next door to The Tube. This 'Vodka Bar' is a
poseur pub with big settees and an upstairs toilet that has some massive
mirrors to look into as you climb the stairs. Don't like the ambience and
the prices are even worse. Full of students with a large proportion of
ethnics on weekends.(P.D.C)

ROTHWELLS - Following in suit is another poseur incorporated set-up that seems to be losing its intial high standards and lapsing into a seedier venue. No PUNK on God's green earth has got any chance of being served in here on a weekend, and it has absolutely nothing to offer real people like drunks, crirninals, shoplifters and low Iifers. Good atmosphere for England matches but which pub ain't? And one of the many Wolves hooligan pub hangouts on match days. Avoid unless your options are down to a bare minimum (P.D. C.)
Can't give you any tips as I haven't got past the Rottweilers. (Cyril)

TAP & SPILE - Currently the best bar in town. An olde world kinda pub but is
alright coz it ain't got no nutters to speak of apart the ones I know personally plus
Sue the scarfaced barmaid imported from Leeds. So if you wanna escape the rat
race go in here for a good craic mainly on a Monday afternoon but busy at all
times of the day and night. Cheap fucking ale too. Gets pretty packed fast on a
match day so avoid at these times, unless you don't mind using elbow to elbow
airspace. lf your a C.A.M.E.R.A drinker you'll be in your element. lt is situated next
door to a betting office and runs alongside �12,000 grand alley' (ask Keiron
'Tipper' Taunton about that one). Also down this non-descript alley was TORCHA
SHED'S first rehearsal studio (Attic Studio). We recorded 'Alice through the
Windscreen'/'Nowhere' here. This is now home to the Beat Foundry an upmarket
band rehearsal space run by former Neon Hearts saxaphonist Steve Heart. Back
to the Tap, Carling Black Label is around �2.00, Boddies is 1.80. Will serve PUNX
and opens early but pretty fuckin small (P.D.C)
The clientele is mainly OAP.'s and real-alers, does do grub, has bouncers on a
weekend. Dear for the strong stuff but has a good-strength range especially the
killer cyder! (Cyril)

OLD STILL INN - Used to be a regular haunt on Saturday dirnnertime for me but is
spoilt by even more small minded bouncers on a weekend. The fucking Carling is
dead dear and piss, in fact its expensive all round. Has got that cheap wooden
fllooring that you get from Do It All so straight away kills the atmosphere. Did have
a pool table though? A pub thats continuously empty but come weekend it's
bouncer rules and casual attire whatever the fuck that means. A popular pub with straits and people who like to go European and sit on the plastic tables outside in the summer. They used to have SHAM 69's 'Hurry up Harry' on the video jukebox. TORCHA SHED had some good photo sessions in the alleyway next door to this boozer.(P.D.C.)
The clientele are mainly youths, ethnics and men about town. The beer is dear with an average range and taste. (Cyril)

MULDOONS - Immediately down the alleyway next door to the Old Still is situated Muldoons, or in its official capacity Muldoons Porter House ha! This is the token Irish Bar in the town complete with garden slabs on the floor and carved church pews to sit on. Also Crookeds HQ. Was my favourite pub for a while but its popularity and craic has dropped off
dramatically and is now under new management. Hooligan hangout on match days and occasionally on a Monday morning. Frequented by various dodgy characters but recently looks like everyones deafed it out including the Paddys who use the Tap mostly. Has a big Screen for all the gamblers but don't use the shithouse in here coz there aint a cubicle just an open plan shithouse. Rumours abound that it's existence is on borrowed time so could be reverting back to its former life as a disused garage very soon!

O'DONNELLS - Was the token Paddy pub of the town before Muldoons
took over, it's now run young Welsh rugby fanatics. The Carling Black
Label is reasonable circa �2.10 a throw but the Boddingtons is cheap
and highly recommended. Was a regular haunt for myself and a few of
the old remaining ex 'George' regulars. Now a bastion for more Wolves
hooligans occasionally but even these dont use it much now as its lost
its craic. Does have doorstaff but let PUNKS in and has a pool table and
a Karaoke or disco on a Saturday night? This is another pub that had
a dodgy past and was the last bastion for real people round the town
when it was then called 'The Talbot'.(P.D.C.)
The clientele consists of O.A.P.'s., youths on a night and men about
town. The beer prices are HIGH the range is average but the taste is
good. This was the premier Paddy Pub NOT ANY MORE! (Cyril).

THE WALKABOUT - Situated next door to the Express & Star
newspaper and formerly the County Court building. This massive
Australian theme bar has about as much atmosphere as Christmas
Day in Alice Springs. Poseur hangout frequented by loads of drunk
birds and gangs of young blokes out on the pull. Couldn't tell how much
the lager is in here but the last time I was in here on a Saturday night it
was of a dismal quality and similar to Ceasers nuff said!

THE WHEATSHEAF - An old blokes pub situated next to the central Police
Station. A bit too close for comfort but is never used by off duty Old Bill.
This also boasts a central Bed & Breakfast where back in the mists of time
('78 to be precise), X -RAY SPEX stayed here when they played the
Lafayette Cub. lt is an old Wolves supporters stronghold on match days
and boasts the highest standard of Banks's Beers in the town centre. A
dedicated drinkers pub, but lacks the bite of real atmosphere, unless your
into Rovers Return action. No bouncers and serves anyone. (P.D.C.)
Frequented by the occasional Paddy and Men about town. Features a
beer garden and cobs. Still retains it's public bar status one of the few
left, a cheap pint with an average range and taste. Good outlet to sell off
stolen goods! (Cyril)

HEROES SPORTS BAR - As you come out the Wheatsheaf cross the
road past the tram station and you hit this shithole. Heroes is probably one
of the best examples of shiity cheap plastic bars. Loads of bright flashing
lights, shit decor and even shittier lager. Even the sports memorabilia looks
fake. Full of Kosovans, ethnics and underage drinkers who are trying to
give themselves Dutch courage to try and get into Atlantis nite club situated above on a weekend...Avoid! (P.D.C.)

MOON UNDER WATER - One of the biggest pubs in the town, but being a Witherspoons pub doesn't have a Jukebox. Retains precious rules about smoking at the bar. Suprisingly enough, this pub used to boast a wide selection of misfits and alcoholics, and was a regular haunt for TORCHA SHED in the 90's, due to it being the cheapest pub in town at that time. But alas an epic cull of unwanted characters and barrings by numerous management put paid to that. However a new breed of undesirables are starting to gain a foot hold. Best day is Monday when a wide range of beers are a about �1.30 a pint (All day). One of the few pubs in town that opens up at ten in the moming. lt's absolutely jammed packed with young socialites on a Friday and Saturday night and they let any old Tom, Dick or Harry through their doors. Has the longest trek to a bog I have ever encountered, but it's the wisest place to 'drop a brick' in the whole town, clean and comfortable. Has a horrible fucking slut of a barmaid on weekday mornings whose boyfriend beats her up so she takes it out on the customers so avoid her she's a total cunt! Like most pubs round town now Has Major TV surveillance all over the pub and the food spoils the look, also it's the darkest pub in town. Slow service means only worth checking out on a Monday. (P.D.C)
The clientele in this boozer are a broad selection across the whole board and range from students, old people (daytimes only), real-alers, paddy's, puffs, youths, ethnics, men about town! Features dear food but guest beers and a good price range and taste. (Cyril)

CEASERS - This was the first established 'pound a pint pub' on Monday to Friday from 12-2 in the afternoon and occasionally on a Friday/Saturday night 5.30 till 8.00, but this is sometimes pot luck now? After 8.00 unsympathetic bouncers work the door and the beer prices rise dramatically 80p in price! The beer was said to be recyded from the left-overs from some local Night-club, it's what you'd call second-hand beer and is sometimes the worst for ware especially the Fosters. It was a stronghold for thieves-drunkards and shoplifters in the happy hours and the weekend happy hours even attract the odd slag out for the ride! The management stopped the mid-week tea-time happy hours cos of the drunken bawdy behaviour and singing by some all day drinkers, and frightened off potential guest-residents who use the adjoining upmarket Victoria hotel. The seedy decor has had a facelift with loads of mirrors everywhere and it's dark with TV screens nobody watches and rentboy barstaff. Seedy atmosphere full of dity old men, young thieves and a growing rent boy community plus opportunists. A stones throw from the bus station and directly across from the Moon Under Water. (P.D.C.) Mostly populated by O.A.P.'s (dinnertimes), paddy's and men about the town. Feature's MTV. Has an average range of beers that are dirt cheap but poor taste. (Cyril)

THE PRINCE ALBERT - Built in 1900 this is the first pub you'll see as you come out the railway station. Has a regular smattering of young hoolies, prostitues, and odd thief thrown in for good measure. Had a reasonable pint of Carling last time I was in there. An unexciting atmosphere and still a bit seedy. Used to be a gay stronghold but not any more or if it is they're low profile. Out of the way so rarely used. (P.D.C)
Clientele not already mentioned are some Men about town, dirty old blokes. The jukebox ain't bad but it's a lucky dip. Medium sized pool table. Everything in here is average but the taste is good. Used to be a totally gay pub not no more (Cyril)

FLARES - Used to be called the Sir Ttton Sykes now its called Flares but
was recently burned out by a mysterious fire a few months. Had horrible
bouncers on a weekend. Punks ain't got no chance of admittance. Tried
to be trendy but failed tremendously i.e. boasts a clientele of Kosovans
and Refugees, plays that Garage crap but is supposed to be a 70's
theme pub so you work it out! Also gets the occasional drunken Wolves
fans.(P. D.C.)
Youths frequent this place with the occasional men about town. Has 2
pool tables and video. Does an happy hour on Wednesday and Friday
nights. Has an average range but on happy hours its cheap.(Cyril)

CITY BAR - I have only ever been in here when it was the previously named Kings Jazz Bar and was a neat seedy after hours kinda bar. Is noticeable in the daytime for beng continuosly empty and has continental type tables outside. Apparently it now has a student orienated punk/hardcore night but I ain't been in here to check it out yet? You have to be relatively sober to gain entrance in the early hours. (P.D.C.)
The clientele is mainly students and youths. Does have live music on the odd occasion, mainly safe student bands. Has a great beer garden in the summer months. And the beer range is average in price and taste (Cyril)

THE POSADA - Was once a great little bar I used to use it frequently and
probably one of the smallest pubs in the town centre! TORCHA SHED in
fact actually played here one Sunday night next to the fireplace. It was a
drunken blur but the place was packed. A Mr Billy Bourke said he could
hear our racket down by the Giffard Arms some 400 metres away. That
gig was like playing in someone's front room but good fun. We got paid
with free beer and we were bolloxed! Theres a neat firescape exit at the
back by the toilets that you can make a quick getaway or short cut to
Muldoons if your lazy. However there ain't much need these days as I
rarely use it. It tried to go upmarket as some sorta wine bar but has
failed miserably. New trendy management has taken it over but this
could be temporary as its rarely full. (P.D.C.)
A varied clientele from OAP.'s (dinnertime's only), students, real-alers,
paddy's, men about town and a couple of old Junkies. Prices and tastes
range, are all average. (Cyril)

CASA CAFE BAR - Directly across the road from the Posada is a
continental style restaurant with continental style beer prices, it's a
haven for middle-aged career people and wouldn't serve Punks at all.
Used to be a bank in a former life hence the victorian veneer. If your
after ale don't expect it to be a major drinking den? It's one
redeeming feature was it was open around 8.00 in the moming if your
really stuck waiting for the bus in the pissing rain, but you would be
better off using the Express cafe near the Bus station its a lot
cheaper. Cyril is barred as well. Avoid. (P.D.C.)

THE GOOSE IN THE CITY - Currently a cheaper alternative to the
Moon Under Water. Cheap beer Carling �1.75 a pint but no Boddies!
Unlike the Witherspoons pub chain the Goose has now got music.It's
a massive place that's full of a good mix but a lotta oldies are in here
on a daytime. It transforms on a weekend into a packed young crowd.
It's now helped with loads of Video screens. Great place to check out
football matches, old faces and new as it has a very brisk passing
trade plus it boasts the sexiest barmaid in town. I use it when im on
tour don't stay in here for long unless I bump into Mark Nowhere.
Cyril don't like it coz they don't like him taking his top off!

THE TAPHOUSE - This has been renamed but can't think what? It's now
an abhorrently mundane venue with dear lager prices and a restaurant
mentality. Used to be the town centre home of the local Goth/Rock
fraternity in the 90's when it was called the Exchange - But thats all
changed now. I think it features greek dancing? Supposed to have
changed into some dance venue? Loads of young skaters and goffs frequent the square directly outside on Saturday afternoons. (P.D.C.)

THE LITTLE CIVIC - This is an astronomically priced youth bar playing lots of American pop punk on the MTV screens with a very young alternative clientele and barstaff. I was the oldest one in here last time I went in. Looks good in the dark, but the prices are way rip-off aimed at a young audience. If your into Green Day type bands and rucksacks on your back you'll love it here. Upstairs hosts the occasional punk gig every few months and is my fave Wolves venue to see a band.. Neat venue shame about the beer prices and shitty bar hours when a bands playing. (P.D.C.)

KIPPS WINE BAR - Situated right next door to the Little Civic. I had many a good drink in here till the dreaded scourge of proper drinkers everywhere was introduced (bouncers!). Pub 2 in the poseur triangle and hardest one to get served in. I personally ain't been in this joint since the mid-late 80's. And I think Cyril's last visit could be even further back in time? So unless your a Jonathan Ross lookalike or your from an decidedly ethnic background don't bother. (P.D.C..)

EDWARDS??? - Or whatever it is called this week?, directly across the road from both of the above. Another one of those restuarant/bar/club efforts. Now this was a pub with a Punk Rock past. It used to be called the Queens Hotel until it's first revamp in the late 80's, and boasted in it's back room a wide variety of 80's PUNK talent such as THE VARUKERS/ SUBHUMANS/ CONTEMPT/ THE SECT/ PULEX IRRITANS/ VENDETTA/ VOID and THE STENCH to name but a few. Lars out RANCID and Jock G.B.H. had a few jars in here prior to RANCID'S last appearance on their last big UK tour in the 90's. However now there ain't no chance of admittance for PUNKS or any other person who aint casually dressed! (P.D.C.) Watered down lager and dear as well (Cyril)

YATE'S WINE LODGE - Just round the comer from Kipp 's wine bar and is one of the towns trendiest pubs on a weekend night. lt has a two-way street entrance and beer-garden at the rear. l got barred from here the afternoon I got back from seeing the PISTOLS at Finsbury Park in '96. Me and an ex-Skinhead Jimmy Cox, were just topping off after the London session and this pub was 2 weeks old, which meant bouncers on the door in mid-MONDAY-aftemoons to deter town drunks from secreting themselves around it's bar. We, as you probably guessed didn't reach the foyer before being manhandled in the nicest possible way. Well nowadays things have eased up considerably. If you really want a drink in their try weekdays coz the lager is cheap around �1.80 a pint and is a chick magnet too. Avoid weekend nights unless you wanna queue and takes an hour to get served. Kids queue up to go in here on a weekend so it's full of bright young things, not a drinkers pub at all. Week days it's full of office workers and the Social having their dnner-breaks so beware plus drug pushers in the beer garden make occasional appearances. (P.D.C.)
The clientele is students, OA.P.'s (dinnertime's), youth's and men about town. Features grub, live music, Budweiser promotions e.g. The Blues Brothers tributes. Dear prices a massive range and a good taste (Cvril)

THE GIFFARD ARMS - Built in 1929 replacing a an old existing pub and styled in18th century decor. Rumoured to have a ghost too? TORCH A SHED made their world debut 1993 upstairs in this pub, it was a Rock pub then. Has a colourful past and was the second major Rock pub in town and the local chapter of hells Angels used it for a while. Then it went through a short hooligan period before going very dead and quiet. However things have picked up recently due to a Goff entrepeneur who runs the Altenative clothing boutique across the road taking it over. Check out the giant devil throne situated in the centre of the bar plus the devil worshipping coffin shaped tables. Fridays and Saturdays has a late bar and goff/rock disco that plays some good punk sounds so definitely worth your perrussal. Carling around �2.00 in the weekdays, but goes up on a weekend. Is definitely the new rock/goff stronghold? And was rumoured to be featuring some punk gigs upstairs. (P.D.C.)
The clientele is mainly youth's with black nail varnish and the odd studert wth lunchtime grub jukebox, games machines large screen. Beer price and range average.(Cyril)

THE LITTEN TREE - Across the road from the Giffard. Didn't expect to like
this bar but on a weekend it's full of drunken youths and a smattering of
a few town drunks who take in the after hours openings. Has a drunken
UK Spanish resort feel to the place with loads of young, and middle aged
drunk birds out for fun. Can smoke draw in here too if your alert enough to
sniff out bouncer patrol but I was too drunk to remember the prices?

THE PLOUGH AND HARROW - This was a rocking little olde world venue
during the late 90's and was host to many a TORCHA SHED gig on a
Thursday night. Now it's part of the Gay triangle scene but does boast a
new breed of younger town drunks and has an after hours policy. Ain't
been in here for about 3 years as its on the outskirts of town?

THE WHITE HART - Dunno if this is still open or not coz I aint been in here
since the 90's. Used to be another average old mans pub that was the
number one Gay pub in town next to the Greyhound in Bond Street thats
apparently got a 24 hour licence if you dont mind queers tryunbg to pick
you up. (P.D.C.)

THE NEW INNS - Situated on the towns boundary near the out-door market.
It was a young alternative GREEN DAY disciples pub in the 90's which they
used to congregate here on Saturday afternoons. Now's it's main pulling
power is the early 8.00am start on Market Days Tuesdays, Fridays, Saturdays?
Old fashioned bar full of old men and a fucking expensive set of Lager prices
for such a dismal bar. On the wrong side of town for strangers to find (P.D.C.)
The clientele compromises OAP's, paddys, ethnics and men about town.
Features a bed and breakfast and food. Its a Banks's pub so the 'beer'
prices are cheap (WOT? - P.D.C.) and the range is good plus an average
taste. Another pub with an early start (Cyril).

Well that brings us to a close on Wolverhampton's City Centre pub guide.
I have missed a few out like Pipers Row Hard Rock Cafe but I don't think
places like that warrant mentioning. I will be taking up to date pictures of all
the crime scenes of the coming months plus the more interesting pubs
will have some extra information and pix from the punk past!

If for any reason any of you PUNKS get stranded here or are coming for
the WASTED all dayer in December 2005 you now know where not to go. -

Cheers to PUNK SHOCKER #4 for the original inspiration!!! & CyrI for
invaluable out of touch input.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!
Peter Don't Care Autumn 2005

WOLVERHAMPTON
PUB GUIDE