No Way, Jose

 

By AJ

 

"Seb? Where are you?" The door slammed behind Josh as he entered the house.

 

"In the laundry room," Seb called.

 

"Come on, let's go." Josh appeared in the doorway. "Jeff and Brett are waiting in the car. We're going to be late."

 

"I have to finish taking care of the cats before I go." Seb carefully set the kitten he was holding on an old towel and lifted the last one out of the laundry basket. "It won't take me long."

 

"They're getting big." Josh observed as the babies, squeaking frantically, squirmed into a large pile. He picked up the largest one and looked it over critically. "Hey, this one's eyes are open. When can you start giving them away?" 

 

"In about 4 weeks." Seb took the old blanket out of the basket, shook it into the trash, then put it into the washer. "I'm going to see if I can get people lined up ahead of time, though. You sure you don't want one?

 

Josh held the black kitten in his palm, one finger stroking its head and back while Seb put a new blanket in the basket and smoothed it out. "I don't know. Maybe. I'll talk to Greg again. Are they boys or girls?"

 

"Well, Cat's a girl," Seb replied with a grin as she finished her can of food and hopped back into the basket. "Both gray-striped ones are boys, the black one is a boy and the black and white-spotted and the calico are girls."

 

"Greg would want a male," Josh said. "Maybe this one. He's the biggest." He put it back into the laundry basket and watched as it squirmed to a nipple and latched on.

 

"He's the greediest, too." Seb moved him to one side and put the gray-striped runt in his place.

 

"What's his name?"

 

"He doesn't have one. Adam said not to name them or I'd get too attached to them." He set the calico next to Cat, then moved the black kitten, which had shoved the runt out of the way and was kneading Cat's abdomen furiously as he suckled.

 

"I think you should call him Greedy," He said as the kitten promptly scrabbled its way back to Cat's side.

 

"You can name him if you want to," Seb offered generously, "but then you have to take him when he's old enough."

 

"I'll talk to Greg," Josh repeated. "Come on, we're going to be late."

 

"Ok. I have to put a note on the refrigerator for Adam and then we can leave. I can do the litter box later; I just have to have it done before we go to bed."

 

 

"I'm worried about the runt," Seb told Adam as they were getting ready for bed that night. "He's only about half the size of Greedy and he isn't as active as any of the others."

 

"You named them?" Adam raised one eyebrow as he removed his shirt and tossed it in the hamper.

 

"Just that one," Seb explained, "and I didn't, Josh did. He's going to talk to Greg about taking it."

 

"Good. Remember what I said about getting too attached to them. We're not keeping one."

 

"I know." He got into bed and laced his hands behind his head as he watched Adam finishing undressing. By the time Adam was in bed, all thoughts of the sickly runt had vanished.

 

They returned the next morning, though, as he checked on the kittens before leaving for work. "Adam!" he called to the older man in the kitchen.

 

"What, Seb?" Adam came to the door of the laundry room. "You're supposed to be eating breakfast, not playing with the cats."

 

"I'm not playing," Seb corrected absently. "I'm worried about this kitten. Look how small he is compared to the others. And even when I put him right against the nipple, he's so weak he hardly nurses before the others shove him out of the way again. I think he's going to die, Adam."

 

Adam crossed the room, lifting him to his feet and drawing him into a hug. "I'm sorry, babe. I wish I could help but I don't know anything about cats."

 

"Could we--" Seb hesitated. He knew he wasn't supposed to get attached to the kittens and they weren't keeping one but he couldn't just let it die. "Could we take him to the vet, do you think?"

 

"I don't know, Seb." Adam hesitated. "I understand how you feel, but that could run into a lot of money and there's no guarantee the vet could do anything for him. Even if he can save him, are you willing to pay the vet bill for a cat that you're going to give away in a couple of weeks?"

 

"I don't know." Seb shrugged away and knelt on the floor again, picking the little runt up and returning it to the nipple, where it was promptly shoved away by Greedy. "I know it isn't the logical thing to do. But it seems so cruel to just let him die."

 

"It's your call. I'll go along with whatever you decide. We'll have to take the money out of our vacation fund, though. We don't have a budget category for pet care." He pulled Seb to his feet once more. "And you can't do it right now. You're going to be late for work."

 

Seb thought about it off and on all morning, trying to figure out what to do. He really didn't want to take money out of their vacation fund to rescue a kitten that didn't even have a name. And he felt like an ogre for feeling that way.

 

/It's just a kitten,/ one part of his brain argued fiercely. /The shelter would put it to sleep without even hesitating./

 

/It's a baby,/ another part argued just as fiercely. /And it deserves a chance to live!/

 

/You don't know that it would live. What if it has a birth defect? What if it's going to die anyway? Do you want to give up your vacation for a dead cat?/

 

/It isn't dead yet! And how could I enjoy our vacation if I knew I killed a cat to have it?/

 

"Seb? Are you ok?" Wes asked as he dropped a stack of papers on Seb's desk. "You look like you're in pain."

 

"I am," Seb replied glumly. "I think I'm going to take the afternoon off. It's pretty quiet and I have comp time coming. Can you cover for me?"

 

"Sure. See you on Monday. Hope you feel better."

 

Vacation or vet? The debate continued in his mind as he unlocked his bike. Vacation or cat? Cat? Vacation? Cat? Food. They were almost out of cat food. That gave him another decision to make. He could either ride to the grocery store, which was out of the way, ask Adam to stop on his way home or go to the pet store, which was more expensive but on his bike route.

 

At least this decision was easier. He didn't feel like riding to the grocery store and Adam would simply raise an eyebrow and remind him that he was the one responsible for the cats. It was part of his consequences so Adam wouldn't help him out. It would be like expecting Adam to write part of his lines or share his time outs. Pet store it was, then. He sighed heavily as he got on his bike and headed for the pet store.

 

He was in the store, randomly scooping up cans of cat food and tossing them in a shopping basket, when an item on the next shelf caught his eye. Dumping the last can of food into the basket, he went in search of a helpful clerk. After a long conversation with the pet store employee, he left the store with both enough cat food for the week and a solution to his dilemma.

 

Maybe.

 

He hoped.

 

When Adam arrived home, he was sitting cross-legged on the kitchen table, cuddling the tiny gray-striped kitten in one hand and holding a doll-sized baby bottle in the other.

 

"Not on the table, Seb," Adam said automatically as he opened the refrigerator and got himself a beer. "What are you doing?"

 

"Feeding the runt."

 

"So you decided on the vet?" Adam pulled out a chair and pointed at it.

 

With a sigh, Seb slid off the table and onto the chair. "No, I talked to the guy at the pet store when I got cat food this afternoon. I told him the whole story and he suggested I try a formula supplement. He said it's normally for orphans but it can also be used when the mother doesn't have enough milk for all the kittens.

 

"I bought a can of kitten formula, a couple of bottles and a book and I'm giving it a try. So far it seems to be working." He indicated the kitten, which had both front paws wrapped around the bottle and was sucking frantically.

 

"How often do you have to feed him?"  Adam asked with some misgiving. "Is this going to tie up the whole weekend?"

 

"The book says every two to four hours but that's for orphans. The guy at the pet store said to feed him every four to six hours this weekend. By Sunday evening we should know if it's going to help and then I can cut back to three times a day. He said that if he - the runt - is still with Cat, he should be okay with less feedings than the book calls for."

 

"Good. I'm glad you came up with a solution." He started to leave the room, then turned back. "Just remember--"

 

"Don't get attached. We're not keeping him," Seb parroted back the words he had heard continuously for the past three weeks.

 

~~~

 

Seb finished feeding the kitten, then rubbed its tummy with a damp cloth before putting it back in the laundry basket with the others. He'd be so glad when the kittens were all given away, he thought grumpily. He was getting really tired of spending so much time taking care of cats. And getting up early so he could feed the runt was getting old real fast.

 

"Seb! You're going to be late!" Adam called from the kitchen. He came to the laundry room door. "How's the kitten this morning?"

 

"A lot better." Seb's mood brightened. "The formula seems to be helping. And I've found homes for two of the others already. Josh says they're going to take Greedy and Janice wants the calico."

 

"Good," Adam praised. "It won't be long before we get our laundry room back. I almost dumped a load of clothes on them the other day."

 

"Yeah." Seb felt slightly guilty about his ill-temper. Adam was dealing with inconvenience, too, and he didn't even like cats. "Can you make dinner tonight? I have a meeting with the Prima Donna and I'm not sure I'll get out on time."

 

"What about the runt?" Adam raised an eyebrow. "Don't you feed him as soon as you get home?"

 

"Yeah, but I'm going to come home at lunch and do it. That should hold him until I get home tonight."

 

"Good," Adam praised him again. "I'm glad you're thinking ahead."

 

"Thanks." Seb flushed at the praise. "I need to go. I'm going to be late."

 

In spite of his intentions, Seb didn't get home to feed the runt at lunchtime; he barely managed to feed himself, wolfing down the burger and fries one of the interns brought him, barking orders on the phone between bites before heading out to meet a client.

 

Then the Prima Donna created her usual storm, stirring up thunderclouds among all the staff before demanding that Seb take her out for a late lunch. By the time he had calmed her and restored a measure of tranquility to the gallery, it was long past the time he usually left for home.

 

He rode through the gathering twilight, fretting over the kitten, hoping it was ok, wondering what Adam was going to say. He didn't know what he could have done differently, though. He was caught between responsibilities and work had to take priority. Didn't it?

 

He dumped his bike in the garage and his messenger bag in the corner of the kitchen. An appetizing aroma filled the air, letting him know that Adam had taken care of dinner, and Cat strolled out of the laundry room to greet him, but the frantic mewling he had expected was absent. He hurried into the laundry room, hoping the kitten was merely sleeping, not too weak to cry any longer.

 

It was gone.

 

He stared at the basket in disbelief for a moment. How could it be gone? It wasn't big enough to get out by itself, let alone go anywhere. Had Cat carried it off? She had tried to move them several times in the first week but she had left them alone since then. Anyway, the others were all there. A horrible thought struck him. Maybe she had moved it because it was dead.

 

"Seb!" Adam called from the living room.

 

Adam! How the hell was he going to explain this to Adam? 'I didn't get home for lunch after I said I would and apparently the kitten died of hunger and Cat carried it away and I have no idea where it is but I'm sure we'll find it in a week or so.' God, Adam was going to kill him!

 

"Seb!" Adam called again. "Come here, please."

 

He knew. He must have already found it and disposed of the body. Seb swallowed hard and went to face the music. "Hi, how was your day? Mine got a little out of control--"

 

He stopped abruptly as he entered the living room. Adam was tipped back in the recliner, watching the news and gently stroking the runt sleeping in his palm.

 

"Here, take this thing, would you?" Adam asked, holding out the tiny kitten. "It squalls every time I try to put it down."

 

"Sure." He took the sleeping baby from Adam and cradled it in his hands. "Did you-- You fed it, huh?"

 

"Yes, I fed it." Adam gave him the patented Look. "It was either that or listen to it howl until you got home."

 

"Thanks, Adam," Seb told him gratefully, judging that now wasn't the time to tell him that dogs howled, not cats. "I meant to be home earlier but the Prima Donna was on a roll today."

 

"Just don't make a habit of it," Adam told him darkly. "They're your responsibility, remember?"

 

~~~~~~

 

"SEBASTIAN!"

 

"Coming!" Seb called, running down the stairs to the living room. "I'm sorry, I only left the door open for a minute! I had my hands full." He gently detached the kitten valiantly trying to climb Adam's pants leg, then snagged the one under his chair. "Uh, you want me to take the runt, too?"

 

"Yes, I want you to take the runt, too." Adam handed him the kitten curled up on his knee.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

"SEBASTIAN!"

 

"Sorry, Adam." Seb grabbed the kitten about to fall in the toilet, then the one in the wastebasket. "Cat must have pushed the door open. You want me to take the runt, too?"

 

"Yes, I want you to take the runt, too." Adam stopped shaving long enough to hand him the kitten batting at itself in the mirror. "When can we get rid of these things?"

 

"Two weeks," Seb informed him, wondering how the smallest kitten had managed to get on the counter all by itself. "I have homes for all of them but the black and white one."

 

"Who did you give the runt to?" Adam asked.

 

"The Hendersons."

 

"You can't give him to the Hendersons. They live on a busy street and they don't keep their cats inside. He'd be run over in a week."

 

"But-- ok. I'll find someone else." Seb shook his head as he carried the kittens back downstairs.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

"SEBASTIAN!"

 

"Sorry, Adam." Seb removed the pile of kittens sleeping on the clean laundry. "They think it's their basket. Won't happen again."

 

"Have you found a home for the runt yet?"

 

"The Bartons want him."

 

"I wouldn't give a dog to the Bartons."

 

"Yes, Adam."

 

~~~~~~~

 

"Sebastian, get that cat off the table!"

 

"Sorry, Adam." Seb picked up the kitten sniffing at the salt shaker and dropped it gently on the floor. "I only turned my back for a minute."

 

"Well, don't." Adam sat down at the table and the kitten immediately attacked his shoe laces. He sighed as the kitten began sucking on the end of one lace, bent down and picked it up. "Have you found a home for it yet?"

 

"No," Seb replied out loud. Privately, he was beginning to wonder if he was ever going to find a home for it. The others had been gone for at least two weeks and he had even found a home for Cat, but Adam had vetoed every home he had found for the runt. An idea occurred to him. "I heard the Becks are looking for a kitten," he said, naming a family at random.

 

"The Becks have a two-year-old."

 

"Yes, Adam." Seb looked at the kitten vigorously washing Adam's palm and his eyes began to twinkle. "What about the Murray's?"

 

"They have a Rottweiler."

 

"The Smiths?"

 

"They smoke."

 

"The Martins?"

 

"They don't have a fenced yard."

 

"Adam Christopher!" Seb placed his hands on his hips. "Have you become attached to that kitten?"

 

"No!" Adam hastily set it on the floor, then winced as it fearlessly climbed his leg and resumed bathing his hand.

 

"You have, too!" Seb accused him. "You told me not to get attached and now you've done it! Come on, Jose. Time for your dinner." He took the kitten from Adam and carried it into the laundry room.

 

"Jose?" Adam got up and followed him. "Why Jose?"

 

"Haven't you heard that phrase?" Seb grinned and patted his cheek impudently. "No way, Jose?"

 

Adam laughed. "Ok, I guess we can keep him. But he isn't sleeping with us."

 

The End