Catastrophe

 

By AJ

 

 

"God, it's hot!" Seb dropped the grass clippers on the porch steps and flopped down next to them.

 

"Why didn't you mow this morning when it was cooler?" Josh asked practically.

 

Seb eyed the man lounging on the porch with great disdain. "Joshua," he paused to gulp down half a bottle of water before continuing, "I think the heat has affected your brain. You're starting to sound like Adam."

 

"Sorry," Josh apologized with a laugh. "The yard looks really good, though. When do we need to light the grill? When are Liz and Sara getting here?"

 

"In a couple hours. Adam said he and Greg will be back before then. Hi, Cat." A very pregnant stray cat waddled out of the flowerbed and rubbed against Seb's leg, mewing piteously. He picked her up and set her on his lap, gently stroking under her chin as he admired her mackerel-striped fur. "Doesn't she look better? She's put on weight and her fur's coming back."

 

"She looks like hell," Josh contradicted. "She's still scrawny, half-bald and looks like she swallowed a keg. Why are you keeping her? Didn't Adam tell you to take her to the Humane Society?"

 

"You're doing it again," Seb warned irritably. "And I called them but they said they're overrun with kittens and they couldn't guarantee she wouldn't be put to sleep. I've been playing phone tag with a couple of no-kill shelters but I haven't gotten a definite answer yet." He gave her one last stroke and set her on the ground. "I need to take a quick shower, then we can grab a beer and watch the game while we wait for them."

 

The two men got up and went into the kitchen where they got their beers and Seb opened a can of cat food from his secret stash. Cat was gone when he got outside, though, and didn't respond to his calls. He finally gave up and went back into the house. He hoped she was all right; he worried a bit while he put a lid on the cat food and buried it in the back of the refrigerator. It was too hot for her to be outside but he didn't dare bring her in the house. Adam would be pissed enough if he found out Seb was still feeding her outside.

 

He tried a couple more times before their guests arrived, then switched to praying that she would stay hidden away. He was pretty sure she would, though. She was pretty timid; he was surprised she had appeared when Josh was around.

 

"Seb, I'm home!" Adam called from the kitchen and Seb gave a last look around and headed back into the house.

 

"Hi, Adam." Seb greeted his partner with a kiss. "Hi, Greg. How was the lecture?"

 

"Interesting. I think you would have liked it," Adam said. "Just put the bags on the counter, Greg."

 

"Maybe next time." If he mowed the lawn when Adam asked him to. "What's in all the bags?"

 

"We stopped at the farmers' market on the way home and got fresh corn and some stuff for the salad. Can you scrub the potatoes while I start the grill and season the steaks?"

 

Seb tried to keep an eye out for Cat as he did the potatoes and took them out to Adam, made the salad, greeted Liz and Sara, set out appetizers and made sure everyone had drinks. At least it was too hot to eat outside, he thought gratefully. That lessened the chances of anyone spotting Cat. He made a mental note to call the no-kill shelters again first thing in the morning as he joined everyone in the living room.

 

"How was the trip to Europe?" he asked Liz as he sat down on the couch next to her. "I think this is the first time we've seen you since you got back."

 

"Romantic." She smiled at her partner sitting nearby. "We had a wonderful time."

 

"We brought pictures, if you want to look at them later," Sara offered.

 

"That's your warning to run for the door," Liz told them with a laugh as she reached for the glass of wine sitting on the coffee table.

 

Seb leaned forward as she leaned back and somehow their elbows collided, spewing red wine across Seb's lap.

 

"God, Seb,  I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed as he jumped up, frantically sopping at his shirt with a napkin. "I'm so clumsy!"

 

"You're not clumsy," he contradicted as Adam quietly got a towel and started cleaning up the mess. "I just wasn't paying attention."

 

"No, it was my fault. My sense of balance is so off lately. I feel like I swallowed a barrel." She patted her rounded stomach protectively.

 

"You're not the only one," Josh muttered under his breath as he handed Seb another towel, grinning wickedly at his friend's dirty look.

 

"It's all right." Seb assured her. "No harm done. I think I'll go change, though."

 

He ran up to their bedroom, unbuttoning his shirt as he went, and tossed it into the hamper while he toed off his sneakers and  shed his jeans. He'd have to treat them with stain remover later. It didn't take long to change and he was headed out the door when a strange squeaking sound stopped him in his tracks.

 

They had had a problem with mice over the winter but supposedly the exterminator had taken care of them. If they were back, Adam was going to have a fit. He traced the noise to the bed, got down on his knees and peered under it.

 

"Cat! What are you doing under the bed? Come on, we have to get you outside before Adam finds you." He reached for her, then jerked his hand back with a yelp, nursing the deep gouges she'd made with lightning fast claws. "Cat, what the hell is wrong with you?" He reached out again and she hissed and raised her paw warningly, giving him a quick glimpse between her front legs.  "Oh, fuck," he said, removing his hand and sitting back on his heels. 

 

Under the bed, Cat protectively licked the newborn kitten, then nudged it further away from the menacing hand.

 

"Seb!"

 

"Coming! Stay there," he told the cat irrationally. "And don't have any more kittens!"

 

Dinner was a nightmare for Seb. He tried to join in the conversation but all he could think of was the growing number of cats upstairs and how pissed Adam was going to be when he found them. When he couldn't bear the suspense anymore, he excused himself with a muttered apology and ran upstairs. Lying on his stomach, he held his breath as he peered under the bed. Cat stared back at him, a warning growl rumbling deep in her throat.

 

"Relax," he told her irritably. "I can't move you right now. I just want to count them."

Two, one black and one white. That wasn't so bad. It had been almost an hour. Maybe that was all she was going to have. As if mocking him, Cat lifted her tail and a dark, gelatinous mass heaved itself out. Cat nosed it around a moment, then began licking vigorously, pulling the sac free and staring deliberately at him as she chewed. "Oh, GROSS!"  Seb rolled over on his back, staring at the ceiling and swallowing convulsively. "God, I did NOT need to see that!"

 

"Seb? Are you all right?"

 

Seb scrambled to his feet just as Adam entered the room. "Yeah, I'm ok. My stomach is a little upset, that's all."

 

"I hope you didn't get too much sun this afternoon," Adam worried, attempting to rest his hand against Seb's forehead.

 

There was a squeak from under the bed, which Seb covered with a startled squeak of his own. "I'm fine," he said as Adam looked at him strangely. "We'd better get back downstairs before people wonder where we are. Come on." He grabbed Adam's hand and practically towed him out of the bedroom and down the stairs, away from the incriminating sounds.

 

The rest of the evening seemed to go on forever. He cleared the table, served dessert, looked at pictures and made semi-intelligent conversation, all the while worried about what was happening upstairs and aware of Adam's eyes following him assessingly. Finally, after an eternity of small-talk, Liz announced that it was time for them to leave and Seb practically shoved Josh and Greg out the door after them.

 

"Seb, is there something you want to tell me?" Adam asked as Seb closed the door with a sigh of relief.

 

"What? No," Seb denied. "Everything's fine. I'm just a little tired, that's all. Why don't you get your shower and we'll go to bed?"

 

"Why don't you get yours first, while I check my email?" Adam suggested instead.

 

"No! I mean, I had one earlier."

 

"You also had wine dumped in your lap. Go ahead and I'll be up in a few minutes."

 

"All right." Seb reluctantly gave in. It could still work, he thought hopefully. Checking his mail would keep Adam downstairs a little longer and then he could move the kittens during Adam's shower. Yeah, that would work. "See you in a few minutes."

 

He ran up the stairs for what seemed like the hundredth time that night and did a quick check under the bed. Cat looked supremely smug, four kittens lined up and nursing contentedly.

 

After the fastest shower on record, he came out, dressed in sleep pants and a t-shirt, prepared to go downstairs, get his gardening gloves and herd Adam into the shower so he could get to work. Instead, he found Adam sitting on the bed, leaning against a pillow propped on the headboard, typing busily on his laptop with one hand while chatting into the cell phone held against his ear with the other.

 

"What are you doing here??" Seb blurted in surprise. "I mean, I thought you were going to check your mail downstairs."

 

Adam finished his conversation and clicked off the phone. "No, I-- Did you hear something?" He paused to listen intently.

 

"No!" Seb jolted against the nightstand, knocking a book, two pens and a notepad to the floor. "Maybe it was your laptop or something. They make strange noises sometimes. I'll get this stuff. Don't get up."

 

One of the pens had rolled under the bed and he took advantage of his position for another quick peek. Five. God damn it! How many kittens did she have packed into that keg?? He rolled over on his back and groaned, finally surrendering to the inevitable.

 

"You want to tell me what's going on yet?" Adam asked mildly and Seb gestured mutely toward the bed. Adam set the laptop to one side, leaned over and peered under the bed, then slowly sat back up. "I'm sure you have a logical explanation for this," he stated.

 

"It was an accident," Seb babbled wildly. "The humane society has too many cats and I didn't want her to be put to sleep and the no-kill shelter would take her but  we had trouble connecting and I don't know how she got in the house, she must have sneaked in when the door was open, I just came upstairs and heard her and I couldn't tell you about it while everyone was here and--"

 

"Whoa, Seb! Breathe!" Adam ordered.

 

"What are you going to do?" Seb asked apprehensively as Adam swung his feet to the floor and stood up.

 

"First, we're going to get this cat out from under the bed," Adam told him calmly. "Go downstairs and get a box, some old rags and a pair of gloves. Oh, and some carpet cleaner."

 

By the time Seb got back with the requested items, Adam had removed the laptop and stripped the bed of the loose covers. Together they lifted the mattress and box springs and set them to one side, then Adam put the gloves on and moved Cat and the kittens to the box, settling them gently on the loose rags. After applying stain remover and blotting up as much as they could, they put the bed back together.

 

"That's going to have to be professionally cleaned," Adam observed, "but that's the best we can do for tonight. Now, let's go downstairs and have a talk, shall we?"

 

Seb reluctantly took the hand that Adam held out and, carrying the box under one arm, followed him downstairs. They put Cat in the laundry room with an oven grate over the box to keep her from wandering and stood watching her for a moment.

 

"Better give her a little water," Adam suggested.

 

Seb waited as she lapped thirstily, then took the saucer back out. "I'll see you in the morning, Cat," he whispered, hoping fervently that he didn't come down to even more kittens.

 

"I think we can skip the corner this time," Adam told him as they entered the study. He sat down in the overstuffed chair and pulled Seb onto his lap. "Where did you go wrong, Seb?"

 

"I don't-- I know you said to take her to the Humane Society, but they would have killed her, Adam! I was trying to find an alternative!"

 

"And you don't think I would have understood that?" Adam asked. "You thought I'd insist that you take her anyway?"

 

"N-no." Seb flushed guiltily. "But I didn't think I needed to at first. I called two other shelters and I thought I could take her in and it wouldn't matter that it wasn't where you told me to go. But we had trouble connecting. I left messages, then they did, then I did again. And I had to keep feeding her and I knew you'd be pissed and I kept thinking it was just one more day."

 

"So you lied to me?"

 

"I didn't lie, I just--" Seb bit his lip.

 

"Let me think you had obeyed me."

 

"Yes," Seb admitted in a low voice.

 

"And if you had told me the cat was still here, you wouldn't have had such a frantic evening, right?"

 

"You'd still be pissed about the kittens under the bed," Seb pointed out defensively.

 

"I wouldn't be happy, no. But I wouldn't have spent the evening wondering what was going on and when you were going to confide in me. And we could have moved her in the beginning instead of letting her have five kittens on our carpet."

 

"I'm sorry, Adam," Seb apologized plaintively. "I didn't mean to lie to you or keep secrets from you. It just happened."

 

"And what do we do when it 'just happens'?"

 

"I get spanked," Seb acknowledged, his voice even lower. "But--"

 

"But what?"

 

Seb didn't reply and  Adam gently pushed Seb to his feet and stood up. "Let's get this over with, then."

 

"I'm really sorry, Adam," Seb repeated when it was all over and they were lying in bed together. He rested his head on Adam's chest, still sniffling a little and comforted by the feel of Adam's arms around him. "I didn't mean to lie or shut you out."

 

"I know you didn't," Adam reassured him. "You're not malicious, you just don't think."

 

"I'll try harder, I swear."

 

"Good." Adam kissed the top of his head before reaching over to turn out the light. As darkness filled the room, Adam answered the question hovering on Seb's lips before he could say it out loud. "No. We are *not* keeping one."

 

The End