A Punch In The Nose
The epidemic sadism in this country might be stoppped by resurrecting an age-old American tradition to settle disputes: the punch in the nose.
How many times do we read of teen-age gang-bangers who riddle each other with bullets, slice each other with razors, or hack each other with knives to settle disputes over territory, women, or finance?
How many articles do we see about betrayed spouses hiring Mob hitmen to assassinate their inconvenient wives and husbands, or sometimes even hiring off-duty police officers, as was the focus of a not too distant scandal in New Orleans?
Not to mention the horrendous Columbine killings, and other festivals of carnage where mentally unbalanced gunmen shoot up schools, offices, and commuter trains.
Might I submit, only half in jest, that the eruption of violence in this country might be one result of therapeutic approaches which see all violence as bad.
Instead of encouraging disputants to engage in a fair fight to settle an issue, fisticuffs according to the Marquess of Queensbury rules, all physical conflict has been ruled beyond the pale.
So, if society condemns one equally for throwing a punch as for more dire responses, why not hire a hit man to break a few legs?
Especially if one thinks one can get away with it?
Duelling was bad enough, and therefore outlawed more than a hundred years ago. Indeed, boxing presents a humane alternative to duelling in most matters of honor.
Films and televsion programs of my youth, it seemed, were filled with scenes where a kindly Spencer Tracy-like figure would take street urchins, put boxing gloves on them, and have them settle their issues in a ring, with a referee to see that no one fought dirty.
After the fight, the two disputants would shake hands, and be friends.
It was the code of the gentleman, the code of the cowboy, and other American screen heroes.
It was civilization.
Savages killed each other over trifles, gentlemen were more restrained.
Those who used excessive force against their opponents were portrayed as sadists and villains.
Strangely, one almost never sees such scenes of "fair fights" on the screen today.
Even pro wrestling has grown grotesque beyond imagination.
Any argument seems to be seen as legitimate grounds for murder, mayhem, and Godfather-like annhiliation of the enemy.
Just today, a comic strip aimed at children appearing in the Washington Post--The Boondocks--featured lines demanding that anti-affirmative action activist Ward Connerly be beaten with a spiked club.
Not too long ago, actor Alec Baldwin demanded that Congressman Henry Hyde and his family be stoned to death, in a "comic" sketch on a late-night television program.
Mental patients are shot to death for waving hammers in New York, crazed fans are shot outside Madonna's front gates in Los Angeles, and of course, the investigation of the Waco tragedy reveals innocent children burned to death by federal agents in a seige gone wrong.
Perhaps one way to reverse this trend would be to restore the notion of a punch on the nose as the best way to deal with outrageous behavior.
This is not some Norman Rockwell fantasy.
In fact, scientific research has shown that a punch on the nose will stop an attacking shark, an snapping alligator, and almost any aggression by man or beast.
It is not fatal, but produces a tremendous shock to the system because of the nerve-rich environment surrounding the proboscis.
Those who have been punched on the nose are unlikely to forget it, and those who have delivered such a wallop are aware that further action is often unnecessary.
Punching someone on the nose indicates one is serious, but disciplined.
One's desire is to teach a lesson, not to vent sadistic rage.
Let teenage hoodlums settle their conflicts with their fists, not with guns and knives.
To do this will take a reversal of the trend in American life since John F. Kennedy said those fateful words: "don't get mad, get even."
We now see what a terrible toll that approach took on the Kennedy family, and on our nation.
Far better to say, "get mad, punch the s.o.b. on the nose, and get on with your life."
So next time someone crosses you, don't think murderous thoughts. Just think about giving the miscreant a smack on the kisser.
Clark Gable, Gary Cooper, and Spencer Tracy would all understand.
