THE AMERICAN RHAPSODY OF JOE ESZTERHAS

Reviewed by Harvey Wheeler

In Three Acts

Seventeenth Century Restoration licentiousness is paled into prudery by this novel of Beltway Manners.

A Post- Manners Movie of Manners: a captivating, attention riveting, secret, insider revelation of President Clinton's political career - mainly the White House years - as told by Willard, his penis - gonzo fiction raised to a new height.

From its fulsomely red-lipped cunilingual cover, through ingenious pornolingual escapades, in every imaginable exposed situation, this is the "inside" story of the "real" unzipped Clinton.

American Beauty is today's Nelson Family; American Rhapsody is today's Mr Smith Goes to Washington.

Chapter Three illustrates the Ezsterhas style.

It begins:

O.J.'s acquittal...Nixon's tapes...Gennifer's tapes...Carter's attempt to free the hostages...Chappaquiddick...Ford pardoning Nixon.... Bob Packwood's diary...Tyson biting Hollyfield...Vince and Hillary...Nixon and Bebe Rebozo...Ronald Reagan and Selena Walters...Bob Dole and Meredith Roberts...Nelson Rockefeller and Megan Marshack...Nancy Reagan's 'three-hour lunches' with Frank Sinatra...Nixon and Bob Abplanalp...

The five page chapter continues in exactly that form to the end.

On page thirty-five, a vile chapter is interrupted early on with the comment:

"But now we were moms and dads ourselves and it scared the freaking bejesus out of us that our kids would act the same wild and crazy way we had acted in bed."

Joe Ezsterhas is out of the protest, free-up everything (steal this review) sixties, just like President William Jefferson Clinton.

Joe identifies closely with Clinton. If he were President his behavior would be like Clinton's. He even knew several of the actors in Clinton's East Wingadings.

He obviously - gonzo like - enjoys telling this story, thumb-nosing stuffy Ken Starr with the porno spit-outs of the Beltway Trash.

Power perverts and absolute power perverts absolutely.

The Clinton White House is gleefully converted into brothel. The extended linkages of sexonyms make ordinary Hollywood vulgarity into prudish proprietaries.

One "Wag that Willard" chapter pairs Bill and Hollywood; Hillary and Tammy Wynette; it is a four page build-up on why Clinton needed to start bombing Saddam and assorted Muslims.(pp 74 - 77).

In another gratuitous, mercifully short, chapter it is assumed that even though everybody hates Ken Starr, they will thoroughly despise him after being told over and over that he is despicably proper, devoutly religious and has never cheated on his wife - even orally!

Two chapters - separated - confirms first hand that things inside Hollywood are just like things inside the White House. Or perhaps it is the other way around, Ezsterhas has such a large Hollywood presence: incidents from several of the author's salacious screenplays are used to describe what's inside the Beltway.

The book is an extended movie "treatment" in Three Acts. Alternating chapters are framed as oral history reports. In Chapter Twelve, Clinton talks; and cries. Chapter Thirteen - a backgrounder - rehearses the Packwood scandal. The next chapter relates the Drudge gossip. Chapter Fifteen roams inside Hillary's morose mind. Chapter Sixteen rakes up and pastes together shreds from the Arianna Huffington scrum bag.

Act Three

Act Three shows first how the Blacks saved Clinton from impeachment; next, how James Carville (awash in Matalin/Atwood slush) skewed the buzz in Clinton's favor; how Larry Flynt's million dollar blackmail saved Clinton; and how Vernon Jordan saved Clinton.

An aside chapter is ostensibly about Al Gore but really about Tipper's effusive sensuality. There is a footnote chapter about McCain. Rushing rapidly toward the end we wave Clinton's Willard again, throw some demeaning adjectives at George W. Bush, and say goodbye to Hillary...