CHAPTER 9

Carly spent time at the gym before approaching A.J.'s room again. She was determined to talk to him, but when she had looked in on him earlier, he'd been asleep. She returned to his room and found him reading a magazine.

"We need to talk," she said, making her way to his bedside.

"I know we do. But I'm not up to discussing anything with you right now."

"You make yourself feel like it," Carly snapped. She pulled the magazine out of his hands.

"Hey!" A.J. exclaimed. "What do you think you're doing? This is my hospital room, Carly."

"I want my sonogram picture, A.J. And I want your promise that you're not going to say anything to Tony, or anyone for that matter, until I have a chance to explain things to him."

"You can ask me for whatever you want, Carly, but you're not getting anything from me."

"Tell me what you plan to do, A.J.," Carly continued to demand.

"I *plan* to get out of this hospital. And when I'm well enough, I will deal with you and your schemes and your lies. Now, get out of my face, Carly," A.J. said, his voice rising. "I don't care to continue this discussion."

Keesha could hear A.J.'s voice as she walked down the hall. She stood in the doorway and could not believe Carly was in his room.

"What is going on in here?" she demanded.

"Carly decided to pay me a visit," a very angry A.J. told her. "I guess you know how I feel about that."

"You have some nerve, you little witch," Keesha said, entering the room. "The last person A.J. needs or wants to see right now is you. Why don't you do us a favor and leave?" She motioned Carly to the door with her hand.

"I've tried to throw her out," A.J. said, "but she won't go."

"I'll get the nurse," Keesha said, heading for the door.

"Keesha, don't," Carly said, conceding this round. "I'll leave. But I want it understood that this is not over."

A.J. agreed that it wasn't over, but for entirely different reasons.

"What I mean is that you *will* listen to my explanation, A.J.," Carly said, daring him to cross her.

"Sure, Carly," Keesha said, losing her patience by the second. "Like A.J. cares about *anything* you have to say. You are truly delusional."

"Keesha, this is none of your business," Carly spat out, "so leave it alone."

"Who are you to tell me what is and isn't my business?"

"A.J., tell her that..."

"Tell me what, Carly?" Keesha asked, moving closer to her. "What is it that you want A.J. to tell me?"

Their voices were getting louder and tempers were flaring when A.J. stopped them.

"Nothing is being accomplished here," he said loudly. "Carly, get out."

"Fine. I'll leave. But this is not over, A.J."

She glowered at both of them as she left the room.

"I'm sorry, " Keesha said, shaking her head. "I should've known better than to go a round with that liar in this room. I just can't believe her nerve!"

"Could we not talk about Carly," A.J. snapped. His head was pounding, and his craving for vodka intensifying.

"Of course," Keesha said, surprised at his tone. "We can talk about whatever you want."

"I'm not up for conversation," A.J. told her. "What I want is a drink."

"What?!" Keesha said, hoping she hadn't heard right. "A.J., tell me you're not talking about alcohol."

"Oh, but I am."

"Carly did this to you, didn't she?" Keesha asked, trying to understand where this was coming from. She was ready to battle that conniving little liar.

"She didn't help, but she didn't cause it."

"Then who or what did? A.J., talk to me," Keesha pleaded.

"Keesha, there's no way I'm going to be able to get liquor here, so don't worry about it. The want will pass."

"Why won't you tell me what's causing it?"

"Because it doesn't matter."

"It matters to me, A.J. Please don't shut me out. We've been connecting so well lately. I want to help you get through this."

"I thought we agreed a long time ago that alcohol was my problem and that you couldn't help me."

A.J. saw the hurt in Keesha's eyes and instantly regretted his words.

"I'm sorry," he said, fighting his anger and his craving. "You didn't deserve that."

"A.J., where is this coming from?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "I'm tired and I'm angry and I want to be anywhere but in this hospital bed."

He looked away then as tears filled his eyes. Keesha asked him twice to look at her, and when he finally did, she saw the unshed tears. Her hurt dissolved in the face of his struggle for control of his emotions. She wanted to take him in her arms, hold him, and tell him he was going to get through this, without alcohol, but she knew he had already shut down and wouldn't allow her to get close to him. She tried to comfort him by brushing away a tear. He grabbed her hand and held it.

"Please don't," he whispered. "I know you mean well, but I need to be alone."

Barely holding himself together, A.J. prayed Keesha would respect his wishes.

"May I give you a piece of advice before I leave?"

"What?" he asked, relieved that she was heeding his request.

"Let the tears fall, A.J. It's the best thing you could do."

He nodded and turned away before he lost complete control. Keesha walked to the door and stopped to watch him for a long moment. She thought he might turn to see if she were still there, but when he stayed quiet, she reluctantly left the room. With a heavy heart, she walked slowly back to her office.

The night nurse came in awhile later to check on A.J., and when she had left, and he knew he was all alone, he closed his eyes and took Keesha's advice. He gave in to the tears that he had wanted to shed since he'd discovered what Carly had done to him. The tears flowed freely, and while he wasn't proud of himself for giving in to his emotions, he was grateful for the relief the tears brought. They continued until he fell into the most peaceful sleep he'd had in a very long time.


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