CHAPTER 27
Monica met Justus and Edward in the board members' conference room. She read the statement Justus had prepared and agreed with its content. Edward did, too.
"Can you get the board members together, Edward?" Monica asked.
"They're on call. Are we ready?"
Monica studied Edward's face. She knew this wasn't any easier for him than it was for her.
"I am if you are."
Edward nodded. "Let's do it."
Within the hour, the board members had assembled and had agreed with the statement as written. Monica knew they had their doubts and suspicions as to its validity, but to all outward appearances, they were united. They voted on an interim Chief of Staff and adjourned the meeting.
An hour later, Monica faced the press, surrounded by her family, except for Lila. Edward had explained Alan's situation to her privately, and while she was extremely distressed to hear about her son's plight, she held fast to the hope that he would recover and the faith she had in the hospital to help him.
Monica read the prepared statement which explained that Alan was suffering from physical exhaustion and stress-related symptoms and would be taking a 30-60 day leave of absence, on medical advice, for rest and relaxation. She answered several questions, never deviating from the prepared script, and then introduced the interim Chief of Staff who also answered a few questions before concluding the press conference.
With assistance from her family, Monica made it to the conference room where A.J. offered to drive her home. Once there, she headed to her room while A.J asked that a light dinner be prepared. He delivered the food and found Monica resting in her bed.
"Are you all right?" he asked, placing the tray across her legs on the bed.
"For feeling as though I've been in a war, I guess I'm doing okay." She allowed a small smile. "Stay with me for awhile?"
"Of course," he answered, pulling up a chair next to the bed. "Would I miss a meal?"
Monica laughed softly and brushed her son's hair.
"Thank you for your support, A.J.," she said seriously.
"Mom, you don't need to thank me."
"Yes, I do. Do you not see the irony in this situation? Your father has been riding you so hard and for so long about your drinking, and now, we learn that you've been sober and your father has a substance abuse problem. It would be funny if it weren't so sad. And you could have had the biggest laugh, but you didn't. You helped. You cared. And I love you for that."
"Mom, I had to help. I *know* what Dad's going through, and it's nothing to laugh about. I admit I was angry when I first realized what was happening, but that's the kind of attitude AA talks about not accepting. And since I had chosen not to speak up about that night in August, I knew I couldn't hold it against any of you for not realizing I'd been sober since April."
"I'm glad you finally told us, and I'm sorry I didn't bother to notice the difference. Because you are different, A.J."
He sighed as he lifted a spoonful of chili to his mouth. "I should be enjoying the changes, too, if only my last slip hadn't been topped off by sleeping with Carly."
"Is there any new information about the baby?" Monica asked, not sure she was ready to hear the answer.
"No. Tony and I agreed to wait until she's stronger to have the paternity test performed. She is beautiful, Mom. If you have a chance, you should see her."
"My possible granddaughter?" She signed heavily. "A.J...."
"I know, Mom," A.J. said quietly. "If she's mine, it'll never be 'right'. But if she is mine, I want to be in her life." On that point, he was unwavering.
"Have you thought, at all, about what you're going to do if this baby *is* yours?"
"Yes, I have. My preference would be to have joint custody with Carly, but given my history and my current living situation, I don't know that a judge would grant it. If that doesn't work, I'll fight for the most liberal visitation rights allowed."
"And you're prepared to take on the responsibilities of this child?" Monica asked, in between a bite of her chili and a cracker.
"Yes. Even though I know this is nowhere near the ideal situation for the child and not how I would have preferred it, I am prepared, if need be, to make the best of the hand I've been dealt."
"What about Keesha? Where does she fit in to all of this?"
A.J. had been leaning forward in his chair, eating chili and munching on crackers. At Monica's question, he sat back and sighed, shaking his head.
"Honestly? I don't know. If I took her at face value, I'd say she'd be supportive, loving, and caring regardless of the situation. But I'd be kidding myself if I didn't acknowledge that her feelings run much deeper than that. Carly is quickly turning into her archenemy, and I'm sure she has her doubts and reservations, like I know you do," he quickly added, "about my role as a dad and my desire to have this baby be mine. I don't know if we can all co-exist, especially in that type of environment."
"Do you think she'll leave? Will you?"
A.J. rose from his chair and walked to the end of Monica's bed, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
"I love her, Mom, and I believe she loves me, too. But there is a definite wariness on her part, which I understand. I had an episode while I was in the hospital. I wanted a drink so bad I could taste the vodka. Unfortunately, Keesha witnessed my craving. And it affected her. More even, I believe, than she was willing to admit. I know I scared her. She saw the 'old' me resurface, my anger and my self-pity fully intact."
"What brought on the craving?" Monica asked, concerned.
"Everything, I guess. Being in the hospital, the reason why, my anger and bitterness towards Dad, Carly. You name it, I felt it. I finally gave in to my emotions that night, though, and afterwards, I slept peacefully and felt 100% better the next day. I tried to show Keesha how I had gotten through it, without liquor, but she wasn't buying it. She knew it could, and probably would, happen again. I know she's concerned and probably confused, too."
"Is it only concern for your alcoholism or is she masking her fears about the baby?"
A.J. pondered Monica's question. "I don't know," he replied. "She gives every indication of supporting me, but I know our road back would probably have been easier if Carly hadn't been in the middle. But then again, Keesha's helping me to piece together what happened that night is what started our reconciliation. I guess Keesha could have fears about my being a father."
"What about Carly?" Monica asked. She needed to know.
"She is a non-factor as far as I'm concerned. I have no feelings for her. I will do whatever I need to so as not to jeopardize my child's relationship, but beyond that, she means absolutely nothing to me."
Monica's relief was evident. "Does Keesha know this?"
"She should. She knows how I feel about Carly and her devious ways."
"But now there's a child involved, A.J. Are you sure she knows where you stand regarding Carly's baby being in your life versus *Carly* herself?"
A.J. considered Monica's words.
"I need to reassure her, don't I?"
"It wouldn't hurt."
A.J. smiled. "Thanks for listening and for your wisdom, Mom."
"Wisdom?" Monica questioned. "After what's happened with your father and me not even having the first clue that something was seriously wrong, I don't believe I qualify as wise."
A.J. moved the tray of mostly uneaten food off his mother's bed, sat down, and held her hand.
"Mom, please don't do this. Dad was very good at hiding those pills and the effect they were having on him, both here and at the hospital. He functioned well for a long time. Nobody knew for sure."
"I *live* with him, A.J., and you knew before I did."
"Only because I saw a few of the signs, and it made me question his behavior. But I couldn't say, with absolute certainty, I knew he was on drugs. We have such an adversarial relationship that I see the darker side of him. I'm sure he tried harder to hide it from you, Mom."
"And succeeded very well. I only hope he agrees to treatment."
"I think he will. He doesn't have much choice."
"A.J., you're not planning to disappear from us, are you? You will be around for your father and especially for me, right?"
"Why would you ask me that, Mom?" A.J. was clearly puzzled. "Of course I'll be here. I want to help."
"I'm afraid having you back in our lives and in this house is too good to be true. I want to wake up and find out that your father's situation has all been a bad dream, but if your being here is a dream, I don't want to wake up."
"It's not a dream," he assured her. "I'm here with no plans to leave."
"You've come so far, A.J. I'm very proud of you."
"Thanks, Mom," he said and smiled.
A.J. noticed that Monica was fighting sleep.
"I'm going to say goodnight, so you can get some sleep."
She nodded. "May I ask another favor?"
"Of course."
"Will you sleep in your old room? Just for tonight."
"Sure."
She smiled. "Thank you."
"Go to sleep," A.J. gently chided, kissing his mom goodnight.