CHAPTER 20

A.J. stretched out on the couch and closed his eyes, but he couldn't sleep. He tried to think about what he was going to say to his father and how he was going to say it, but thoughts of Keesha distracted him. He loved her for the stance she had taken with Carly and for how fiercely protective of him and his well-being she had become, but he wasn't so sure her intense dislike of Carly was healthy. He knew he needed to stay involved in the dysfunction that was Carly because he had a stake in her pregnancy, but he felt it wasn't fair for Keesha to have to spend her time being aggravated.

And yet, he wanted Keesha in his life and wanted a chance for a future with her. He knew full well that that future could include his child, and whether he liked it or not, Carly. If that were to happen, would Keesha accept him, the baby, and the likelihood of more interaction with Carly? He fell asleep trying to get his mind off of Keesha and on to his father.

Keesha made herself comfortable in A.J.'s bed and immediately relaxed. It had been a long day and night, but spending time with A.J. was well worth it. As hard as she had been fighting it, she admitted she was letting herself fall in love with him again. Not that she had ever gotten over him, she reminded herself, but his drinking had made it easier to not want to be around. Now that he was sober, however, she did want to be with him. Of course, she thought, there had to be complications, and the biggest one was Carly. And possibly the baby. She knew A.J. was uncomfortable with her attacks on Carly, but Keesha was tough on her because she saw what Carly's machinations had cost A.J. How he could be in the same room with Carly and be civil amazed her. She sensed that deep down he felt the baby Carly was carrying was his and that he felt forced to maintain some kind of a relationship with her. Keesha had to believe that, otherwise, there was no justification for A.J.'s protection of Carly and, therefore, no justification for her protection of A.J. Keesha could not allow herself to believe that.

She tried to sleep but couldn't. She turned on the light and opened the top drawer of A.J.'s night table, hoping to find a book she could read. What she saw instead made her smile. Staring at her was the photo album she had put together for A.J. the night she thought he was going to propose. After she had told him she could no longer be with him as long as he continued to drink, he had called her during a night of heavy drinking and told her he had burned the pictures and the photo album. The news had saddened her, but she had told him she didn't care what he had done with the pictures. But here they all were, safe in the drawer next to his bed. That had to mean something, she thought, didn't it?

She had looked at a few photos when she realized she needed to stop. The pictures were wonderful, but disappointment and broken dreams were also attached to them. She decided she was in a much better place now with A.J. and that she needed to create some new memories. She put the photo album back in the drawer, turned off the light, and fell into a deep sleep.


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