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| Saddam withstands bombs, hides in a ToughShed |
| April 8, 2003 |
| Baghdad-- Senior military officials revealed Tuesday that Saddam Hussein narrowly escaped four, 2000-pound "bunker busters" by taking refuge inside a ToughShed storage locker. The shed lived up to it's claim as being the "toughest shed on the market" when it survived the B1 Bomber raid, which left behind tons of twisted steel and concrete, but could not penetrate the shed. ToughShed spokesperson Patrick O'Neal praised the company's employees for its survivability. "Our structural engineers have done a fine job with [the shed]," he said. "On the TV commercials, we show a snowmobile landing on it, leaving it unscathed. But even I was impressed with its performance in Baghdad." Working on a tip from a CIA spy, the U.S. military coordinated a strike to kill Hussein and his two sons, Odai and Qusai, at a residential home in Baghdad. Within minutes of the tip, a B1 Bomber already in flight gained approval to deploy its ordnance. Unbeknownst to the military, the home took delivery of the shed earlier that afternoon. President Bush voiced his frustration, citing illegal business transactions between non-coalition countries and the Hussein regime. "Iraq couldn't have directly got the shed from us," he said. "I'll bet that France or Germany had a hand in providing it to Saddam. I could see Russia involved, too." Military officials have begun an official inquiry into determining the exact number of ToughSheds in Iraqi hands. Depending on their availability to the Iraqi dictator, the efficacy of U.S. bombs may be minimal. |
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