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| Iraq Puts Down Cockroach Invasion |
| April 15, 2003 |
| A large-scale insect invasion was quickly put down by Iraqi citizens, Iraqi officials said Monday. Thousands of Iraqis, fresh from combat with Saddam Hussein statues and likenesses, swatted oncoming cockroaches with their shoes and sandals. "I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that they have started to commit suicide under the walls of Baghdad," the Iraqi Information Minister said. "Allah has condemned them, and will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of the Iraqis." Reports from journalists at Palestine Hotel in Baghdad confirm that an infestation had occurred, but could not corroborate the minister's claim of mass suicides. Several reports admitted seeing a few cockroaches in the hallways of the hotels. Brigadier General Vincent Brooks explained that U.S. forces did not need to lend support to the defensive stand. "The Iraqi civilians were well equipped for battle," he said in a CENTCOM briefing. "As far as I know, there have only been a handful of casualties, from sore wrists to a scraped elbow." The Bush administration is keeping a watchful eye over the incident, saying that such a quick resolution is suspect. Bush doubted that Iraqi civilians could be able to quell such a large uprising in a matter of hours. "We believe that chemical weapons were used," he said. "We will examine the bodies to check if insect sprays such as Raid were used. Foggers, "bug bombs", or other weapons of mass destruction would indicate a 'smoking gun.'" |
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| MILITANT IRAQIS ARMED WITH SLIPPERS CRUSH INSECT INVADERS |