Things I find funny
Quotes
This "glow" you're referring to is actually the sheen of persperation brought on by the increasingly nauseated feeling I'm currently experiencing.
and
My husband and I made the momentous decision to have another child on October 31, 2003.  November 1, 2003, I became pregnant.
Samantha-in regards to pregnancy
This is a highly accurate salinity test used by world-class oceanographers.  It's called "licking a wet jacket".

Character Michael Tolland in "Deception Point" by Dan Brown
You're stoooopid!

Dexter
Mommy, that boy lied to the principle.  He told him I punched him in the eye.  That's not true-I punched him in the mouth!
My son after defending himself from a bully
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