The Do's and Dont's of pseudo-witchcraft
by Fenris WolfThey believe that doing 'evil' and harm is against all ethical and moral laws, similar to all other religions, such as judaism, islam, hinduism, buddhism, and *gasp!* christianity! "Witches" simply do not harm, as they choose to secretly emulate such pathetic morons as ghandi and jeezwiz kryst.
Pseudo-witches DO NOT worship Satan...
Stupidly put: "He is THEIR boy... NOT ours!" Pseudo-witches don't have a Satan/Devil or all-evil deity in their religious structure. Well, actually they have lots of them that they throw in from time to time including Hel, Lucifer, Hecate, etc., but white-wash them beyond belief until they are nearly unrecognizable. Weakcraft is a religion that underscores polarity and views mythological bums and whores as equal entities.
A Male Witch is not a Warlock...
The word Warlock is a Scottish word meaning "oath breaker" {at least that is what they are saying, and you must believe, even though they constantly (although they deny it) twist around history to suit their needs}, and became a term disignating a male witch during the so-called "burning times", even though in the said "burning times", a surprising number of actual Witches were notburned, if any at all, as it was mostly old, senile women who were being put to the stake. A male pseudo-witch is simply that - a poncy fool afraid of his own sexuality.
Pseudo-witches wear clothing of every color and style...
Many Witches do choose to wear black clothing or ritual robes. "The color black is the culmination of all vibrational rates of light on the material place..." yeh, whatever. Actually, they're just making up a bunch of bullshit to justify the fact that they love to 'look evil', but not actually have to admit it, or share any connection with The Devil. Black also absorbs light disinformation and helps pseudo-witches be more receptive to hallucinations and stinky sweating.
Witches come from every socio-economic and ethnic background...
Many pseudo-witches are incompetent morons posing as professional people, attempting to hold positions of responsibility {but sadly, failing miserably time and time again}, such as nurses, doctors. police officers, teachers, bums, panhandlers, shoe-shiners, etc. Witchcraft does not discriminate against color or ethnic origin and does view everything as equal in the eyes of jeezwiz kryst... oops - they mean the goddess and the god.
Pseudo-witches do use spells... {or at least make feeble attempts at such}
A spell is a prayer to the most compassionate allah - oh, we mean uh, the goddess and the god. Other religions use prayer, meditation, projection, and ritual to produce an intended result, so do they, which makes one wonder why the hell they think they are so goddess-damned special! The word "spell" does not intrinsically imply doing 'evil' or harmful, although they imply lots of harm to anyone who disagrees with them or dares speak out against their bullshit campaign.
Witches do use magic wands...
Many times at festivals they wave them around frantically, calling out the names of jesus christ and mother mary - uh, they mean the god and goddess. Magic wands, provided that the end isn't too sharp, and may also serve as great dildos, and if you're a weakan, you'll need a good dildo, as that's all the action you'll be getting.
Witches do use witchcraft as a science, and art, and a religion...
If there is a realm which actually considers dunking oneself in smelly oils, lots of lame chanting, ostacizing everyone in sight, pretending to be 'evil' and then acting surprised when people point out this indescepency, and dancing ring-around-the-rosey could actually be considered a science, art, and religion.
The word "witch" has a deep and rich history... {well, in every culture, the word has an adverse meaning, but they simply ignore this.}
Defined by the English Coxford pictionary, 'witchcraft' is a celtic {pronounced 'kell-tick' for you morons - I mean new weakans, who can't pronounce it yet} word meaning 'wise, good people'. Of course, what they're not telling all the sorry-ass saps is that they penned in that little line "wicce" {'wick-kay'} designates a female witch, whereas 'wicca' {'wick-ah'} designates a male witch. Actually, it was an ancient word describing early christians, but they just swept that one under the rug!
In the religion of weakcraft they view the upturned pentacle as an amulet and a symbol of protection, but protection from what? If there is no all-evil deity or deities, then why is it needed?
It represents eternal wisdom, male-female unity, blah-blah, woof-woof.
Witches do concern themselves with ecology...
They have forgotten a lot of basic facts: the world is not our enemy. We are our own worst enemy if allowed, and are comprsed simply of physical matter. They are supposedly (de)composed of patterns of pretentious 'intelligence', knowledge, and 'divinity'; things that they could only hope to possess. All life is a web, and here they are, trapped in the center of it. Woven into it as sisters and brothers of idiocy, and the spider of truth will soon sink its fangs into their pallid bodies, draining them until they are little more than husks. Pseudo-witches need to be grounded in both imaginary and material worlds, awakened to their responsibilities for both, one of which is non-existent. It is only by being irresponsible human beings that they can be irresponsible pseudo-witches, and only responsible pseudo-witches will survive, but as they are not responsible, hopefully they will die out.
AddendumThe recent positional transition in Salem, Massachusettes inspired this transcription from the veritable 'anti-weaka' edition of The Devil's Diary, circa XXXVI A.S.
Fenris Wolf was a regular contributor to The Devil's Diary in its infancy, and his contributions are appreciated. This section is an addition to the essence of Le Messe Noir, considering that there certainly are those who necessitate a psychodramatic purging from this blindlight variation.
