THE ACID DESK- Vol. 1, No. 3


THE ACID DESK
A Bi-Weekly Underground XFFanfic Newsletter
Vol 1. No. 3

Welcome to THE ACID DESK, a bi-monthly newsletter discussing the latest fics, recs, trends, discussions, and even *gasp* gossip in the X-Files Fanfic Community and posted to XFCTalk for discussion and debate.

All opinions expressed herein belong solely to the author, CiCi Lean, and have no reflection on the opinions of the administration or owners of XFCTalk.

Write to me and tell me how wrong I am!
CiCi Lean
[email protected]

THE ACID DESK MAILROOM:
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FROM THE E-BOX:

Re: "The Acid Desk"
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"Absolutely loved it!"

"I now know what Scully needs; she needs an Acid Desk!"

"AND also, I enjoyed your Acid Desk newsletters, I hadn't seen those before
(I don't hang out on the newsgroup much) and they were great fun."

"I also would like to applaud you on having the...well, okay, *balls*
to write "The Acid Desk." You're a woman after my own heart"

Yes, this -is- gratuitous ego-rubbing. Why do you ask?

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HOT BYTES
New Authors, Stories & More!

"Antidote" by Karen Rasch & Rachel Howard: (on Karen Rasch's Web Site -- Karen Rasch's Home Page): Hopefully coming to atxc soon. This humdinger of a cliffhanger fic has great writing (well, *duh*), angst, plot, romance and one nasty wittle bug. And it's HUGE; a great summer read. You go girls! You did good. - 5+ Flashlights

"Summer In The Snow" by Brinson (on XAPEN - soon to atxc & The Novel Archive): Wow. Finally Pendrell has his own "Oklahoma". BEAUTIFUL, brilliant story, actually too smartly written for the average reader, with ANGST and characterization up the you-know-what. Stunning. Definitely the best minor character fic ever written. Let's kill her before she writes again. - 5 Flashlights

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GOSSIP CORNER
Eat Your Heart Out, Cindy Adams

Blind Item #1: Which minor list owner has been acting in such an erratic fashion over the past few months, with furious rages one day, and endless cyber-crying jags the next, that frustrated list members have taken to referring to said owner as "TLQ", with the "L" standing for "Lithium"?

Blind Item #2: Which longtime fanfic denizen has gotten into the habit of pontificating righteously and then uses alternate identities and addys to zealously support their own posts, not realizing that a quick peek at Deja News unmasks them PDQ?

Blind Item #3: Which mundo famous and fabulous gen writer has recently unmasked herself as a slasher par excellence at a recent chat much to the SHOCK of the attendees, who are STILL gaping?

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THE GOSSA-PER
Notes On The Archive of Note

WOES-R-US: Wow...the worst crisis for Gossamer ever since Vincent said his "hiedy-ho, see-ya-later" all those years ago. Just when you think everything is orderly and peaceful in Wonderland, the tornado comes a-blastin' and Dorothy, you are outta there!

Now, who's to blame? Lousy, lying, cheap bastard ISP's of course, whose offer of "unlimited web space" is tantamount to a life-long deed to the Brooklyn Bridge. The first of the villains, Simplenet, decided to raise the price of any web site using more than 200mgs, TWO THOUSAND PERCENT! Yes, that's right, Dorothy, forget your college education, and fork over $400 dollars a month to archive fanfic. Seems the simpletons at Simplenet aren't just content with lousy service, oh, no... they want to give you a finger-massage as well.

The intrepid Deirdre, who ran Gossamer Simplenet, said "no way" and did a MARVELOUS job of organizing a switchover to Interspeed, who turn out to be...but, of course, Villain #2. The jerks at Interspeed took a gander at Gigantor...er, Gossamer, and quickly yanked back their "promise" of "unlimited space", leaving poor Dee once again in the proverbial lurch. Undaunted, the archivists go to work once more to find the space, and *just* when they think they can pull off a new site...

Chicken Little invades atxc.

And boy, -did- the sky fall down.

Horrified screams of "Gossamer Is Down!" and "SAVE GOSSAMER!" fill the air, with the less-informed denizens seemingly forgetting that there are TWO OTHER Gossamers (X-Philes & Birdfeeder) to choose from. (I guess those big, bright links at the very tippy top of Simplenet weren't quite big & bright enough.) So, to help save The Archive That Didn't Need Saving, certain well-meaning individuals decide to play "The Rescuers" and MIRROR the sites, which, of course, by dint of copying 10,000 files in one shot, completely shuts down Birdfeeder.

What's that saying? You know...about good intentions and a road to somewhere?

Anyway, with BOTH Birdfeeder & Simplenet shut down, we then actually had a serious problem on our hands (not to mention a batch of bald archivists with bunches of ripped hair clutched between their shaking fingers.) The screams on atxc grow louder, longtime denizens and archivists become confused and concerned, and Gossamer X-Philes is in serious danger of overloading with hits.

Pleas for calm from Dee and the other archivists go unheeded for at least two days, and, like every other "problem" on atxc, this one takes yet another 300 posts to resolve. Finally, peace is restored to Wonderland, with the mirrors taken down, Gossamer Germany put up (along with an interim, Latest Stories Only archive added as a plus) and Chicken Little is safely back in his coop, oblivious to the fact that there is such a thing as self-fulfilling prophecy.

And what is the moral of this little tale?

The moral is...relax. Gossamer ain't going nowhere, and if it ever does, you'll be informed in -plenty- of time by the archivists. They work hard, they know what they are doing, leave 'em to do their work in peace.

Simple? But of course.

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ATXCARAMBA!
The Latest From The Usenet Front (alt.tv.x-files.creative)

FLICK-FLACK: Well, I hate to say "I told you so," but hell, I -did-, didn't I? The screaming capital letters proclaiming 'FLICKFIC" (oh, you crazy rhymers, you), the hastily bashed out fics, (no doubt written with popcorn "butter" still greasing the fingertips), the piles and piles of snowshoes, parkas and one tiny, innocent bee who dared to be a NoRomo little bastard. Shame on you, little bee. Aren't you supposed to ENCOURAGE reproduction? And why do I just KNOW that somewhere, some *shipper is sitting around pulling the wings off of every bumblebee they can get their enraged hands on? It's just this hunch...but...

Of course, there are some highlights to the madness. Check out "Blur" by Leyla Harrison (does she write anything bad?), or the latest Karen Rasch, who so "surprisingly" pulled a humdinger of a fic out of that wacky snowcone. Surprise, my ass. Hey Karen! Do me a favor and write something shitty, okay? Just for me, woncha, babe? :-)

Shockingly, the OT postings are quite low! I might be wrong, but could it be that the flood of newbies that the movie PROMISED to bring in didn't quite deliver? Or, have they all gone to atxf first and met their terrifying, flame-ridden, demise so quickly, they didn't even bother visiting us over in Wonderland? Since I daren't tread atxf myself, I wouldn't know. (Hey, last time I was there, I lost an eye and three fingers to the infamous "Al" and his cohorts. "Never Again" indeed.)

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THE SLASH CAFE
Reviews From The Wild Side

by Alicia ([email protected])

NOTE! - This week we have a Guest Slash Cafe Reviewer - Alicia!
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"A Little Lost Fox" by Anna (Sk/K/M) - I don't typically like AUs. At least, not the really AU ones. Give me my boyz in the 20th century world we know. But this was by Anna, and there's been a bit of an Anna-drought of late, and so I thought, what the heck? Oh. My. God. OH. MY. GOD. I've watched virtually no Star Trek since TOS, but no matter. This is not Skinner, Krycek, and Mulder plunked into a beautifully dark Star Trek universe, but rather the people Skinner, Krycek, and Mulder might have been had they always existed in such a universe. And what lovely, twisted people they are. The most sweetly savage Alex I've ever had the pleasure of lusting after. The only thing wrong with this fic is that there isn't enough of it. Read it, read it again, and then stalk her for more.
-- Rating: 5++ Lashes

"The Long and Winding Road" by Kassandra (M/K) - The fic I said couldn't, shouldn't, mustn't be written. And then whined, begged, pleaded, sold my soul for more of. M/K babyfic. And if you believe that description, then Aenima is songfic. Kass's stories are always a joy, with dead-on characterizations and outstanding plots, and this is no exception. And the smut--ooh la la! You'll squidge, you'll cry, you'll send Kass chockies and flowers and beg her never to stop.
-- Rating: 5++ Lashes

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TALK, TALK
Discussing The Discussion Lists

XFCTalk - Whoaha, SlowCity! Come guys, it can't be just the summer heat that's slowing down this list. Chop! Chop! Let's make some noise in here!

CHAOS FICTALK: This place has livened up a bit. Recs are more frequent and more up-to-date, with some regulars returning to post. The "Book Club" has slowed down, challenges are up, and flames are non-existent. Well, for now, anyway. Let's see if the dogs of August make their stand like last year. Whooo-hah-hah.

AOL FANFIC JUNKIES BOARD: Somewhat quiet as well, BUT still the best web-fic alert system around. Want to read the latest "works-in-progress" and save yourself the pain of hunting for updates? This is the place to be. Shalimar's latest WIP, along with a host of others, is yours for the asking, WITH nifty, "take-you-right-there" hyperlinks. Who said the new boards were such a bad thing? And it's still the home of the most "focused" fic readers around, The Primal Screamers...who are not only Lydia Bower's cheering section, but a smart bunch of *real* readers, who've "been there, done that" but are willing to give yet another MSR (and the occasional UST'y casefile) a go. AND they actually tolerate NoRomos and Slash Junkies. This place might soon become the only reason I don't leave AOL.

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FANFIC LINE OF THE WEEK:
(Where The Names Have Been Changed to Protect...well, Everyone.)

from: "Waiting For My Supperdish" by Yoogota B. Kidin

"It was a dark and stormy night when Dana Scully left the office to go to her car."

Excuse me. Does Snoopy know you're plagiarizing from him?

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GRATUITOUS PENDY MENTION OF THE WEEK
(A.P.I.G.P: All Pendrell is Good Pendrell)

Want a gander at my Frank Spotnitz autograph from the eXpo?

"To CiCi -- Sorry about Pendrell, Frank Spotnitz. PS: On the X-Files, no one ever -really- dies."

Thanks, Frank! And I promise never to stick a potato in your exhaust pipe again.

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RANT-O-RAMA:
Ravings From The Acid Desk:

NOTE!
This week we have a Guest Ranter, the fabulous Sheare Bliss! [email protected]

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Fanfic? Art or Fantasy Fulfillment
by bliss

Fanfic by its very nature is fantasy fulfillment, right? I mean, after all, we're extending the parameters of a program we enjoy, with characters we find compelling, we're creating situations that go beyond what we see on the screen. Whether it's romance, X files, crime thriller, or anything else, we're reproducing something that came out of the back of our minds.

But is it art?

Sometimes.

Does it have to be?

No.

Is it fun when it is?

Depends on who you ask.

Right? Am I right? I've seen dozens of really stunning fanfics where the characterization is so right on it smacks me in the face. And they're ignored in favor of the fantasy fulfillment stories.

Does that make me cross?

Damned straight. There are dozens of new folks out on the creative group that have no clue who Livengoo is, who dismiss Cici Lean's fiction as 'just humour', who don't remember that Joann Humby wrote wonderful angstfic before I knew fanfic existed, and who think Amperage's Mistress belongs on alt.sex.bondage. I saw someone requesting LoneGunGuy's Blood of Angels out there the other day, and no one seemed to have a clue. Jill Selby's stories uniformly have the *best* Scully characterizations I have ever seen. Summer and Vickie Moseley's Open Book series are so marvelous and detailed and thoughtful that they suck you in, even the ones drawn from the eps.

Even Cici's humour pieces are touched with poignant moments, angst, all the human foibles and emotions. (And I'm not saying that to suck up--she may have become a good friend, but I wouldn't comment if I believed that her writing was flawed.)

Of course, just a reminder, these authors are on the X-Clusive site, boycotted by one list owner for personal reasons and categorized as the We Hate X-Files writers in one recent memorable post.

Patti Murphy wrote a story called "Dark Night of the Soul" and called it a Mulder/Scully romance. I wouldn't care if she called it an Irish Jig, it was a compelling story that did more than have Mulder mooning to a song, and I'm about half-convinced that the episode 'All Souls' was directly inspired by it. She wrote "Only Way Out" which was dynamite.

Kipler's 'Genius' was one of the first fanfics I ever read, and it still stays on my list of top favorites. Subtle and intelligent and just plain lovely.

Does there seem to be a common thread here? I hope so, because I can't possibly go through Gossamer now and list the stories I found the best-written, best-characterized, and most compelling. Jessica Taylor has written some lovely pieces, and if I were younger and more compulsive, I'd be able to list the ones that were marvelous. What I'm talking about isn't just typos or grammar or punctuation--although, God help us, it's a subject that bears discussion--I'm talking about excellence.

And I'm just not talking about writers who have been around for awhile. Dreamerlea wrote a couple of sensational stories and was largely ignored. Brinson, who is a child, literally, wrote the most knockout, incredible, stylistically brilliant story called, "Summer in the Snow". Syn, who wrote Locusts and the incredibly poignant Empathy. We're talking MSR in a couple of cases, folks; so much for my alleged prejudices, eh?

These are writers in fanfic who pursue excellence. Far too many do not. We're daily inundated with proof of Sturgeon's statement that 90 percent of everything is crap. But what gets the attention? Third rate stories in which the characterization is massacred, Mulder throws up into his bowel, and the action and behavior is about 7th grade level. And that's an insult to most of the seventh graders with whom I'm acquainted.

What am I saying here? I'm saying that yes, fanfic is fantasy. And yes, it need not be art. And dammit, it can still be excellent. If you doubt me, go and read the authors I've listed. Write and ask me for more; early on, I went through Gossamer alphabetically, I'm sure I could wade through the recent swamp and find the authors I liked. Some of whom actually write romances.

But for God's sake, stop excusing crap because it's all fantasy and not art. Sure it is. I accept that. But I refuse to pretend that all of it is good.

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That's it for this edition. THANKS to our contributors, Alicia & bliss!

Come again next time, and I'll have some more snarky rants, squealing raves, gratuitous Pendrell Poking, filthy gossip and a whole lot more!

THE ACID DESK is, hopefully, a bi-weekly newsletter, written & created by CiCi Lean and posted to XFCTalk for discussion and debate. All opinions expressed within belong solely to the author and have no reflection on the opinions of the administration or owners of XFCTalk.

This newsletter may NOT be copied, forwarded or posted to any other list, USENET news group of web page without express permission of the author, CiCi Lean ([email protected]). In short, if you sneak it around, I'll catch you and eat you alive. (And I chew 100 times per bite, just like Mama Lean taught me to.)

All comments private & public to XFCTalk are welcome.

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